UrbanHippieMama

Meeting Daddy Tony

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:40:00 +0000

Yesterday is but today's memory,
and tomorrow is today's dream.
~Kahlil Gibran

{Excerpts from journal}
4/3/09

What a perfect quote. Working today on putting the past behind me, and forging a new future. Kylin will be meeting Tony today...we are all very excited and nervous. A day I have imagined for so long....

4/10/09

A week ago today we had a joyous reunion--Kylin met her biological father, Tony, for the first time.

I met Tony in the fall of 2000, when I was living in Washington DC doing an internship at Gallaudet University. I had moved across the country alone and was completely culture-shocked by my immersion into this "Deaf Land." Being an interpreter on campus afforded a rare opportunity not to interpret for deaf people so that they could have access to hearing communications, but for hearing people--so that they could have access to deaf communications. It was powerful and overwhelming, exciting and scary. I needed a guide...an interpreter, myself.

Tony was a staff interpreter on campus, friends with everyone who knew him, and a lot of fun to be around. We dated for a few months and I conceived Kylin the night before I flew back to Portland for winter break. Once home I was able to get a little distance and perspective on many things in my life, namely the unhealthy patterns of our relationship. About a week after I arrived home, I let Tony know that I didn't want to continue our relationship... 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

Although I was overjoyed--to be a mom was something I had always wanted--I was definitely aware of the challenges that my child would or could face. Growing up in a home with faces and personality traits that reflected my own, I was acutely attuned to the fact that I would not be able to relate to the experience of a child who did not have both of her parents in her daily life--let alone in the same state. My only wish was to possess the empathy and openness to support my child on her journey. This was the first of many powerful reminders that my children have their own paths and own journeys ahead of them. This is not meant as an excuse for any imperfect decision-making on my part, but as an example of one important lesson for me as a mother: that although my children come from my body, their lives are not in my control nor subject to my will--they are autonomous beings with their own journeys to fulfill.

I did tell Tony right away that I was pregnant, but because of the issues between us, and what I can only imagine as the fear and helplessness of a man who's seed takes on life inside the body of another person--outside of his control--we were not able to have a healthy or positive relationship during those first few years.

I knew immediately upon finding out that I was pregnant that I could not return to Washington DC. I could not imagine leaving the support of my family and friends to return to an unfamiliar city, on the opposite side of the country, and a low-paying internship. I knew I needed to provide myself the best possible environment so that I could be set up to do the best job possible in raising my daughter...I had to secure my own oxygen mask before I could help her.

To our benefit, I met a guy in need of some direction, with a lot of love to give. Jamie was there through my pregnancy, and we stayed together until Kylin was 2 years old. He and I were not meant to be together forever--but I do deeply believe we came into each other's lives for a reason, and I am so thankful that Kylin has had the consistency and unconditional love that Jamie has provided and continues to provide--especially because it has always been a choice and never an obligation.

Even though she had a dad in her life, Tony and his older son, Jevin, were never a secret to Kylin. I held an image in my head of sitting down with my 12 year old daughter to tell her that the man she knew as her daddy was not her biological father--that the vision she had constructed of herself and where she came from was built on incomplete truths. I vowed to myself to always be honest--to trust that truth was always the right thing to choose, even when it was the most difficult. During my pregnancy I purged every bit of information I could recall about Tony's life and family, gathered all of the photos I had, and created a scrapbook for Kylin. I knew that someday she would be curious about where she came from and I didn't want to lose a single detail that might help to belay that mystery for her, even just a tiny bit.

She has always made it clear how much information she was in need of...Even before she really understood what a "biological father" was, Kylin found a place for Tony in her life. When she was little she enjoyed seeing a friendly brown face like her own--and every friendly brown male face was "Tony." :) As she got older, we talked about who "made" her, as opposed to who was there when she was born or who had raised her. She grew up with a sense that there were many hands and hearts involved in her creation and care--and hopefully with the knowledge that she was blessed with an abundance of love.

When Rich and I got married, Kylin was an integral part of our ceremony--Rich made special vows to her and we gave her a locket as a symbol of the commitment we were making as a family. When she was 6, we finalized that commitment when Rich legally adopted her.

Over the years, Tony and I maintained contact, but it was always strained and difficult for us both. I know that his heart hurt, thinking of the little girl's life he wanted so badly to be a part of, and that he thought of her every day...but we could just never seem to find common ground on which to stand in order to move forward. This chasm began to recede last summer, when Tony found my blog (which I certainly know is public). He read stories about Kylin and our family, viewed pictures, and read comments from people who know us...he got a glimpse into what our life was like and what kind of care Kylin was getting, and it calmed his fears about what kind of mother I would be and what kind of life I would provide for Kylin. We were able to begin re-building a bridge for our daughter to cross when she chose to take that step.

In the last few months Kylin's questions have changed to requests: to meet Tony, to call him, or to chat with him on our video phone. She has seen pictures of her older brother, Jevin, and pictures and video of her younger sister, Elena, but lately she has wanted to know more about them all.

On April 2nd all of our paths and experiences converged when I attended an interpreting conference in Seattle that Tony happened to be interpreting at. We did not anticipate seeing each other, and graciously Tony recognized my anxiety and approached me to ask if I would like to talk. We were able to sit down together, without defenses or blame or fear between us, and discuss our past and begin constructing our future. I was in shock from this wonderful gift from the universe, and called Rich to ask if he could drive the kids the 3 hours to Seattle so that Kylin and Tony could meet...Rich happily said, "of course!"

Friday turned out to be a long day for all of us. I was scheduled in workshops from 8 am-6 pm, so Rich planned to leave Portland at about 2:30 in order for them to arrive when I would be free. He sent me this email at 2:20:

We may be a little late. We r in the ER. Nothing to worry about. Will fill u in when we see you. Will text you when we get on the road.

'ER?!'...'Nothing to worry about?!'... Difficult words for a mother to accept, especially one who's several hours away. I spent the next 20 minutes envisioning every possible scenario, until thankfully Rich called to explain what actually happened: the boys were playing and chasing each other, Kaden pushed Kiran and his eyebrow hit the hard corner of the couch, splitting it open in 3 directions and obviously requiring stitches. It kills me that I was not there to comfort Kiran during this painful and scary experience, but I am SO thankful that Rich has the first aid training and experience that he has because he was able to care for Kiran and be calm and confident for him in a way I could not have been.

At about 7:30 pm they finally pulled into the Marriott parking lot, and Tony and I walked out to greet them. There was excitement all around--Kylin was beside herself with the prospect of meeting Tony, Tony, with the prospect of meeting Kylin, the boys were missing me and my engorged "milks" and Rich and I were excited for all of it.

The 6 of us made our way through the hotel, stopping to explain our relationships and big grins to the friends we passed along the way. We finally arrived in Tony's hotel room and he made a video call to his fiancee, Jenn, in Florida so that Kylin could meet her and their daughter, Elena--Kylin's little sister. It was a fun & happy meeting--with singing & games of peek-a-boo. Tony gave Kylin the special gifts he had bought for her earlier that day--a stuffed cow that was made with 3 wishes inside: one for each of his kids, a bracelet with an engraved heart charm that said "To Kylin, Thinking of you always, Love, Daddy Tony," a book full of photos of Tony, Elena, Jenn, & Jevin, and sea shells and money that Tony had brought back from his recent trip to Costa Rica.

We went downstairs to the hotel restaurant to eat dinner, where we were thankfully one of only a couple of tables, with kids who had been confined to their carseats for the last couple of hours. Rich and I chased and entertained the boys while Kylin and Tony talked, played games, and got to know each other. This intense and monumental event was playing out so effortlessly and naturally right before our eyes!

After such a wonderful evening together, Rich took the boys back to Portland, and Kylin stayed with me so that she could make the most of Tony's short stay on the west coast. While I attended workshops all day on Saturday, Tony & Kylin spent the day together: chatting with Jevin and Elena, swimming, visiting Pikes Place market with friends, and hanging out in Keith and Emilia's RV. That evening it came time for Tony to work, voice interpreting for Keith's comedy show, and Kylin got to attend the show with a front row seat right next to her daddy.

That night was bittersweet, as we reveled in the wonderful weekend and Kylin & Daddy Tony said their good-bye's...not knowing when they would see each other again. Tony flew all day Sunday, back to his home in Florida, and Kylin and I drove back to ours, in Portland.

Monday morning I got a call from Tony, telling me that he had just gotten off the phone with his mom and that he had a far-fetched idea that he just wanted to throw out there. He and Jenn would be getting married the next week and all of his family would be with him for his wedding, and he would really love to have Kylin there as well. He had already checked ticket prices, and they were affordable...could she come? Rich & I spent the day analyzing every possible scenario: our whole family flying out=too expensive and too difficult to cancel work with such short notice, send her alone=not yet, I fly Kylin out for the fun & weekend festivities and then leave her to fly back as an unaccompanied minor (which kids do all the time) after the wedding=not yet, Kylin & I go and bring Kiran with us=that would increase the cost of our trip quite a bit & still leave Rich childcare issues.....It seemed the only viable option was for me to accompany her myself, secure childcare for Rich during the time that he needed to work, and hope that the boys would do fine without me for almost a week. Thanks to Rich, Haley, Leah, Sheila, Mom, Camille, and Aunt Debbie--here we are...flying to Orlando. :)

My hope for this trip is that Kylin can make some wonderful, lasting memories with this part of her family, and that this will be a second wonderful stepping stone into the future of our evolving family relationship.

Kiran is Officially 2

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 05:18:00 +0000

Kiran,

How can my baby be two years old??? It seems like only yesterday that I was holding you, wet and slippery, in my arms...waiting for you to take your first breath.

And now look at you... you're a kid who knows what he wants and will stop at nothing to get it.

You have been amazing us with your ever expanding vocabulary (your favorite words currently are "spatula," "gum," "baseball," and "Nani")...you pick up new words everyday, including copying Daddy's "oh, shit!" yesterday.

You are an astounding balance of timid and bold, serious and comedic, dependent and independent. Your daddy, or "Nani" as you call him, is the center of your universe. He is your favorite person to imitate, play with, wake up to, and talk about. Daddy's chores are your favorite to tag along on...I watch you trail behind as he goes out to feed the goats, chop kindling, make a fire, or change his clothes. A half an hour before he arrives home from work, you can be seen standing on a chair in front of the kitchen window...waiting for him.

You are almost always sporting an owie of one kind or another... I think it's a combination of being the littlest and getting picked on a fair amount, and having big ideas in your little head that your body can't quite pull off. Luckily (knocking on wood) we've never had a trip to the emergency room, and I am hoping we can keep it that way.

This year has brought some subtle yet important changes to our lives. One is that you got your own bed... we introduced the crib a few months ago--something you and your brother had never seen in your lives. You are very excited about it in theory, and often you will even go to bed awake and willingly for naps. Bedtime is usually a different story, though, and when you do go to sleep you don't stay that way for long. We stopped having milk for most of the night several months ago, but that doesn't keep you from waking up and asking for it every few hours. I had wished for a baby who wanted to nurse, and I got what I asked for. :)

You also love to mimic your brother...doing and saying whatever it is he does and says. This includes trying to steal the things that he is playing with, and a good amount of time this brings on retaliation. We are working to help you two learn how to interact with less painful conclusions. At least every 5 minutes one can overhear us saying some variation of the phrase "We don't [hit, bite, scratch, pull hair]." while physically pulling you two apart...we are hopeful that someday it will stick.

You love to cook with me, and you make your own scrambled eggs every morning (with a little supervision..ha ha). Ketchup and gum are your two favorite foods, with eggs a close second. I think you may just eat the eggs so that we will let you have ketchup, though.

I am so in love with you, little serious man, and I look forward to all the next year has to bring (keeping my fingers crossed for potty learning and less tantrums). I know that you have important things to offer the world, and I try to remember that everyday while reminding you that you are still only 2 years old.

I love you so very much.
Mommy

3

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 15:00:00 +0000

Kaden River,

Your entrance into this world was unexpected, smooth and quick, and to this day you still embody these qualities. With energy bubbling out of you you bolt through your days, flitting from this activity to that activity, a steady stream of chattering and hilarities spilling from your sneaky little grin, long curls boinging along behind you. You can be fierce and bold, timid and cautious, understanding and perceptive, stubborn and persistent. Mostly you are just adorably full of mischief and curiosity.

Your signature phrase is "poopy-doody." You rarely wear clothes, regardless of the season. You still love "mommy-milk" and show no signs of changing taste. You are interested in whatever Kylin is interested in, and when she is not around to prevent you, you love to play with the things she plays with. You and she have begun to have interests in common and she loves to engage you in her play...you often follow her around the house, taking orders and playing whatever parts in her games that she asks you to. You love Camille. This morning when you and Kiran and I were laying in bed, having a long milk session as we usually do early in the morning, you suddenly sprang from the bed and announced that you were going to find Camille to play with. Your signing has really flourished over the last year, and your little hands move so purposefully and cutely... I love to watch you communicating with Camille and hear the tiny whisper of your words as you sign your messages to her.

Although you were using the potty on your own soon after you turned 2, you have continued to enjoy peeing on the floor almost every chance you get. You take off your pants, run to whatever spot you fancy at the moment, and relieve yourself. You have learned, however, that your mess needs to be cleaned up...you know where the rags are and how to step on them just right to soak up all the pee--it's infurating and very cute all at the same time. Finally in the last couple of weeks this has been happening less and less frequently...I'm hoping it is a habit that will just fade away into a distant memory.

You have started sleeping in your own bed in Kylin's room. It is still difficult for me to sleep, knowing you are in another room, and it is still difficult for you to sleep through the night so you visit me often and we make several trips back and forth each night--you padding into our room, and me escorting you back to your bed.

This seems like such a pivotal age to me...Three...Not quite a boy, but not still a baby--you are transitioning into an independent person and it is happening before my eyes. I am thankful everyday to be your mommy...to get to share your life and your discoveries with you, and to see the world from your perspective.

I love you with all my heart.

Still Snowing...

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 16:29:00 +0000

We ventured out to the end of our street yesterday to get the mail from our mailbox. The snow is several feet deep in some places, and it was amusing to watch Kaden and Kiran try to navigate through it...it was half as tall as them!

From our front porch, you can see a big snowdrift just a few feet away from the porch

Nestled in Snow
There's a car under there somewhere

The destination
Making snowballs
So happy together
Making tracks
Frozen cheeks
Kylin found some cool sheets of ice and brought them in to do experiments on them
Excitement

The creek near our house

Happy Solstice

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 06:32:00 +0000

What a beautiful way to celebrate the solstice...with the snow piling up all around us, and our family coming together to stay warm.

We woke up early, and enjoyed one of the handful of mornings throughout the year when Kylin hops out of bed before we even get up.

Rich stoked up the fire in the woodstove, and then everyone headed downstairs to check out their gifts:

The board was a thrift store find, and the wooden checkers I got from this company--which you will see more neat wooden products from again.
This wooden train set was another awesome thrift store find... the boys LOVE it!

Kylin in disbelief that I gave her my old laptop. It doesn't work yet, but hopefully it will as soon as I find where I put the hard drive.... This was just a placeholder, really, because the kids planned gift was stuck in Eugene with the snow.
Kylin's laptop, a dozen wooden eggs, and assorted wooden fruit (to go with the gift that hasn't arrived yet)
This is what will be arriving as soon as it can:
Danielle's husband, Jimi, makes these play kitchens out of entertainment centers off craigslist... they are SO cute!!!
After playing with new toys, Kylin and Mommy go to the kitchen to begin the baking extravaganza
The boys all go outside to play in the snow, and gather the elements we need for our ritual
It's getting deep!
Bakers
Chopping wood
Braiding challah
It's very fun!
And pretty when it's finished

Almond cookies dipped in chocolate, chopped almonds, and toffee bits... for my honey :)
Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cranberry cookies... DELICIOUS!
Apple Challah
Braided Challah
After all the sweets were made, Rich started preparing our special dinner: tri tip, his famous mashed potatoes, artichokes, and rainbow chard (by Kylin's request)... needless to say we were all stuffed afterwards!
The table is set.
And here's our family, enjoying it's Solstice Dinner
After dinner our plan had been to go out in the backyard and light a fire in the fire pit like we have done for Solstice for the last couple of years. But, looking out the window, it looked like Antarctica, and no one was crazy about the idea except for Rich. So, he spent the next 30 minutes (I was amazed it ONLY took him 30!) getting the fire lit, and when we saw the flames leaping from the garden I bundled up all the kids and we headed down. It was indeed worth it.

We had so much fun, the fire was roaring and warm, the kids played in the snow, and we enjoyed the peaceful moonlight night talking about the past year and dreaming about what the next year would bring. It was truly a winter wonderland.

We'd like to wish you a very Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and whatever wonderful way you celebrate this winter season!!

Snow WEEK?!?

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:07:00 +0000

The novelty of a weekend snow day has turned into a week-long (with no forseeable end) reality. With 6 people confined to the house between sledding and snow-people-building sessions it has been fun and interesting and a little bit crazy-making.

Here are more pictures from this white weather we are having:

Frozen Windows
Sunshine on the Snow
Icicle
Relaxing With Daddy
Popcorn
Fast Food
Dress-Up
The kids loved playing out in the falling snow

Kylin got to build her first snowman with Blake, Mayan & Isadore
Profile
Same Size
Friends

Hot Stew Warms The Tummy

Stay Warm!

SNOW DAY!

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 05:34:00 +0000

Rich cleaned and rearranged the craft room
Kaden's getting ready for the snow
Kaden & Camille
My Boys
Snow Monster
Walking In A Winter Wonderland
Boarding
Brrrrrr!

Leaving On a Jet Plane...

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 23:21:00 +0000

11/24/08

My mom took us to the airport Monday afternoon so that we could fly to Sacramento. Kaden had been counting down the days until he got to ride on a Big Airplane, and Kylin was beside herself with anticipation of visiting her cousins.

We learned early on, traveling with more than one child, that spending a few bucks on a cart was WELL worth the money.

EXCITEMENT!

Even MORE excitement!

We got a whole row, window to window, to ourselves, which was very nice.

The kids were SO thrilled to see each other again!
5 in a bed built for 1

Kylin & A.J.

Mmmmm... spaghetti

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIRK!

Sheila and Jim

Kiran's baseball stance

The juggling sticks I made for A.J. and Austin's birthday gifts were a big hit with everyone--especially the dads!

Theresa knows me so well... pink and black socks with cute skulls!

Thanksgiving in Pebble Beach

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:28:00 +0000

Wednesday morning we left Roseville to drive to Pebble Beach. What is normally a 3 hour drive took us 6 hours with traffic and a few extra stops. Luckily Kirk and Theresa have a super-comfy van with a DVD player, and the kids watched Elf and The Polar Express over and over, while Theresa worked on a craft project, and I worked on a project on my computer (they even have a power adapter!).

The boys took turns riding in each car, one with Grandma Sheila, and one in the van.

We finally arrived and got to meet the new baby!
Sheila, Theresa, and baby Maya
Loreen, Austin, & A.J.
Aren't they cute?? Rich, Kirk, and Uncle Larry
Sharon has hands all over her living room... I just love them.
Decorating the tent
Kirk & Rich
Theresa & Ally
My Favorite Auntie Sharon
Loreen, A.J., & Theresa
Rich is in heaven, holding the sleeping baby
Thanksgiving morning at the motel, Loreen & Sheila
Ready for the day
Aren't they gorgeous?!
Sheila & her boys
Look at that cast iron pan!
Milk-Break
Two Peas In a Pod: Kylin and Ally
Megan's older daughter, Reese, and her Uncle Jered
Proud Daddy, Rob, with baby Maya
Sharon and Larry love to entertain, and the love comes through in their hospitality and delicious food
The kids, enjoying breakfast
Kiran, watching the other kids play on the golf course
Megan playing poker
Cutie Patootey, Austin

Kaden with the big boys, Austin and Eric
It couldn't have been a more gorgeous day
The front of Sharon and Larry's house, as seen from the Pebble Beach golf course
The never-ending (or always starting-again?) poker game :)
Kirk and his poker-face
Thanksgiving day was gorgeous and sunny...We could not have asked for better weather or better company--although we missed several family members who weren't able to make it. Megan gave birth to baby Maya Dylan just 2 weeks before, so we were all fawning over her. The house, indoor and out, was buzzing with children of every age, and we were so happy to be able to bring Kylin this year so that she could enjoy making wonderful memories with her cousins. The older kids herded around the younger kids, and everyone had someone to play with.

Undressing
Topless
Loreen brought the wine
A.J. & Shayne
Rich and Wayne
Mitted Kirk
Proud Grandma, Loreen, with baby Ronan
Shayne & Ally
Handsome Guys, Fred & Larry
The Thanksgiving Spread...everything was so delicious

The Sassy Ladies: Sheila, Sharon, Jenny, Loreen, and Sue Carol
Angela & Ronan
Snuggling during dinner
Crazy
Reese and Kiran were SO cute!!
Kissing
Bre & Kiran
Wayne is such an excellent photographer. Many of these are his photos.
Kylin
Shayne, Ally, & Kylin
Angela, Theresa, & Ronan
My Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love...isn't he Sexy?!
Dad's and Sons
This is another one of Wayne's
Kylin and Ally brought a make-up kit... like the purple eyeshadow?? :)
There are so many shots of Ally and Shayne... he was totally comfortable with her, and she really loved taking care of him
Kiran being gentle with baby Ronan
And loving on him
The Nursing Mom's Corner: Breana, Angela, and Megan
The Wii was a big hit with young and old
Traveling by plane left us at the mercy of the airline schedules and ticket prices, so we were sad when we had to leave Friday morning. It would have been so sweet to stay for the weekend and visit with everyone, but we were also very thankful that we were able to make the trip and knew the compromise was leaving early.

The ride back to Sacramento took half as long as the drive there--traffic is much better the day after Thanksgiving than the day before, apparently. We said our good-byes and headed back to the airport to ride our Big Airplane home.

Our Best Year Yet

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 17:49:00 +0000

Rich and I recently returned, refreshed and motivated, from a goal-setting retreat at Edgefield. We dropped off the kids at my parents' house on Tuesday morning, with our agenda in hand (the REAL one, people...hee hee hee).

We headed into the Black Rabbit, as it's really the only thing that's open at 9 am, and commandeered a sweet both in this little cubby that's totally private and has a window that let's light in.

For almost 4 hours we sipped tea and focused on answering the first 6 questions of Your Best Year Yet.

This 10-question exercise guides you through examining your accomplishments and disappointments of the previous year, your values and roles, and then clarifying which role you want to focus on for the next year and identifying what your top 10 goals are.

We then checked into our room, the John Murphy room this time, and headed to the Power Station for lunch and to discuss our progress of the morning. We had a wonderful conversation over lunch, talking about the past year and where it has lead us. After lunch we returned to our room and worked in there for the afternoon.
We continued through the next several questions (I think we got to number 9), just in time to get ready for dinner back at the Black Rabbit. We got all dressed up, put all of our papers and books aside, and enjoyed a DELICIOUS and quiet dinner together.

Afterwards we retreated to our room, jumped into our jammies, and I enjoyed the rest of my glass of wine while laying in bed, reading, and Rich lounged on the couch, reading. It was the most peaceful, wonderful thing...I can't even describe how luxurious it felt.

My mom arrived at 8:45 with the kids, for a before-bed nursing session, but the boys were so distracted and excited by the hotel room that they hardly nursed. They left about 9:30, and we headed over to the soaking tub to relax after a long productive day.

The next morning we slept in until 8:30 (heavenly!!) and returned to the Black Rabbit for breakfast and another focused day.
We requested the cubby-booth again, got all set up, and dove right back in. Rich had been feeling that he wasn't really getting to the core of his values and roles, and so he went back and really tuned into his inner voice...the results were AMAZING. It was so wonderful to see him glowing and beaming...the energy in our booth was bright enough to light the city, I swear.

In the 4 days since we have been back we have already accomplished so much...although I should say that this isn't just about becoming super-productive--we really wanted to make sure that the tasks we are spending our time and energy on are truly what we want to be dedicating ourselves to. We were able to gain a lot of clarity around our priorities and what has been limiting us from focusing on these. It feels so good to be able to see our path... if we accomplish nothing more than that this year, it will be a success. That feeling of clarity brings me a small step closer to peace.

CHANGE

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:51:00 +0000

excited. amazed. hopeful. incredulous. nostalgic. inspired. ready. giddy.

BARACK OBAMA is OUR PRESIDENT.

thank you all!!!

A Day In The Life of UrbanHippieMama

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 05:32:00 +0000

**WARNING**

I have achieved a level of detail that I think only my step-mother-in-law can appreciate (I love you, Loreen!). This disclaimer is proof that I am aware of it, and I hereby release you from reading every word or looking at every picture. Please skim to your heart's content!!

My day begins today before my 8 am alarm, sandwiched between 2 small warm bodies, with the rooting and crying of the littlest boy in our house. It actually began much, much earlier...Was it midnight? 2 am? 4 am? The marathon milk-session from 5-7??...Who's counting? This time we stay in bed, nursing and relaxing, not long enough or still enough for me to go back to sleep, until 7:45 when I can no longer convince Kiran that sleeping is the thing to do.

We get up, go potty,
and let the dog out, and Kaden follows us down the hall, crying and asking "Lay down in bed, miiiiiiiiilllllllk...", so back to bed we go--where I multi-task by checking my email and facebook from my phone while nursing both boys in our warm bed.
Kylin, in the queen bed that is also in our room, tries her best to continue sleeping while we get up.
The clock says 8:00 as I dress the boys,

check the laundry and make a mental note to bring a basket downstairs the next time I come,
grab the compost to take out,
and we head out to feed the goats.
It's a chilly fall morning, but bright and beautiful. The boys love to help feed the goats, Kiran grabs their bowls and Kaden helps to fill them with their COB and supplements.
I peek into the chicken tractor to check for our daily egg (so far just one of our girls is laying), but it's too early and there's none yet.
It's 8:30, the boys are petting and playing around with the goats while I throw a ball for Scout--this is one of his daily exercise opportunities, and he relishes every second of it.
After 10 minutes or so, I grab an armful of wood so that I can build a fire later, and we return to the house to start breakfast.
This morning Camille is up early and I smell her coffee...mmmm...I decide to make myself a special treat (the coffee) and add some extra special yumminess, too.

I pick up Kiran and put him on my back so that I can get us fed.
Then Kaden finds a way to entertain himself and the baby

I tell the troop what is on the menu for the day: eggs, yogurt parfait, or waffle, and begin taking orders. Kylin wants a waffle with chocolate chips melted on top, Kaden wants anything that involves chocolate chips, and I have come to realize that Kiran doesn't want anything for breakfast unless it comes from my plate--so I make extra eggs and toast for myself. As I crack eggs into the pan, I ask Camille if she'd like some while I'm at it.

A fight breaks out almost beneath my feet: the car train that has been erected across the kitchen has an unwanted passenger, and the conductor gets really upset about it. I leave my station as Head Chef to assume the position of Nurse Maid once more.
Kaden ~~wears~~ enjoys his chocolate chip waffle
while Kiran "helps" me by emptying a kitchen drawer
By 9 I'm back to making breakfast. I dole out spoonfulls of cod liver oil and probiotics and reject the boys' cries for more of each. I give Camille her breakfast while she cuts up the kids' waffles, and I work on making mine.
Before I am done, Kylin announces that she is still hungry after eating her waffle, and I quickly cook up our chicken egg from yesterday (she gets a tummy ache from store-bought eggs).
At 9:30 I sit down to my plate of toast & cheese & egg with Kiran on my lap.

Kiran and I do "one bite for you, two for me" with a bite for Kaden thrown in every once in awhile, during which Kylin announces that she is still hungry.
By 9:35 I have finished my breakfast and I grab Kylin the frozen waffle that I promised she could have if she ate her breakfast and was still hungry (she likes to eat them frozen).
The kids clear their plates
while I feed Scout.
Next I enter the Mommy Twilight Zone, in which I:

Play a little bit
Encourage Ky to get ready
Break up a fight
Re-direct: playing, helping, getting ready, etc..
Continue cleaning the kitchen
Repeat 1-5

:post-breakfast kitchen:

:take them out, put them back, take them out...:

:a little playing:

:a little fighting:

:happy again:

I fill my kitchen containers of olive oil and honey with the bulk food from our pantry storage downstairs.
On a pass through the living room I notice that the laundry I folded last night has been un-folded... Add to my list of things to do (and re-do).
Now it's 10:30, the kitchen is clean,
the pumpkins are ready to be made into pumpkin mash (on my list of things to do today... we'll see if it gets done),
the kids are playing outside under Big Sister's supervision (and with Mommy checking out the window every 30.555 seconds), and I get a chance to freshen up.

:come over before 10 am and you may see this:

No shower today, but a good tooth-brushing/face-scrubbing session and I'm as good as new.

:clean up the bathroom:

I pull on my clothes, and head back to the kitchen, stopping to pose for a picture.

I make snacks, get the diaper bag, coats, carrier, purse and assorted items we may need, then re-dress Kaden (for the 1st time today...) and we hit the road by 11:10.

Wait, I still need to get directions...

This is where I pause. It amazes me that I can begin my day at 7:30, and not be done getting ready for the day until 11:00. That's 3 and a half hours. It makes me tired just thinking about it. Then I tell myself--someday, my kids will basically be able to care for themselves, and I will regain most of that 3 hours!! And then I think--I used to have those 3 hours, and how carelessly I squandered them!!

So, we are on the road to Wichita Feed where I need to purchase the materials to build our garden cloches, which have to be up before the first frost. I thank the stars that my kids are in good travelling moods today--cause bad traveling moods can sour a car-ride very quickly.
:change a diaper before we go in:
:follow the leader:
50 bucks later we are back in the car with a roll of poly tubing, a package of painter's plastic, a bunch of 2 ft. pieces of rebar, and hungry kids. I eat my Clif bar while singing "The Green Grass Grows All Around" and pray that we make it home without any meltdowns. Today we are successful!
We get home at 12:15, I unload the necessities from the car (kids, purse, dirty diaper, shoes...) and open up my laptop to check my email while making lunch.
Kaden escapes outside, and comes back a few minutes later...naked (#2). This time I let him stay that way.
Scout gets some time outside
and plays fetch
and then we eat our lunch.

At 1 Kylin perks up as she and Camille leave home for the "playdate" that they scheduled with each other, and I take the boys into the bedroom to nurse and hopefully fall asleep.
We prepare for naptime by a round of pottying,
then we lay down. Kaden and Kiran play peek-a-boo, tug-o-war, switch sides, and wiggle around. Kaden finally has enough and decides to leave the bedroom. It is a strange feeling to know that your 2 year old is roaming the house alone, but I make it as Kaden-proof as possible and focus on getting Kiran to sleep quickly.
Today Kiran is out within 5 minutes of Kaden leaving, and then Kaden returns for more milk. By 2:00 they are both deeply asleep enough that I can remove my body from between them, and I do a little dance and plan to eat some chocolate and enjoy the quiet
--but first, I make a fire.
This takes me half an hour, because I am really not very good at it, but I finally get it going and sit down in front of it with my Green and Black bar and laptop and I catch up on facebook.
By 3:00 the boys are both crying (how they usually wake up) and so I sprint to the bedroom to nurse them and they both promptly fall back to sleep. Since I forgot to grab my phone during the mad dash to the bedroom (it gives me lots to do while I am tethered to the nurslings) I pull out my camera (which didn't leave my side for this whole day) and go through my photos--erasing bad ones and editing others.

At 4:00 the boys wake up again, we all get up and go pee, and discover that
Daddy's Home!!!
YAAAAAY!!!
We have more milk,
molest the dog,
read a book by the fire,
and get the last drops.
Daddy takes over negotiations

and Dear Sweet Wonderful Camille re-folds the toppled basket of laundry.
While I make a snack of apple slices and cashew butter
and whip the kitchen back into shape in preparation for dinner-making.
The boys go out front to play,
and at 4:30 we get a surprise visit from Poppy (my dad), so we all go down to the garden.
Poppy installs these nifty balls that will prevent anyone from getting impaled on the garden stakes.
:our day's egg:
Rich and Kylin go next door to get (wet, heavy) bales of straw that the neighbor is giving us, while I go in to start dinner at 5.
I breathe a little sigh of gratitude as I notice the lack of small people tugging at my pants (or worse), as Kylin is playing next door, Kaden is following Rich back and forth with the straw, and Camille entertains Kiran.
By 5:25 dinner is cooking, and I turn my attention to the dog's dinner. I have been trying to change his eating habits since adopting him, wanting to get him on the BARF diet (sounds appetizing, eh??), but for now I am going to try coaxing him by lightly cooking his beef liver, chicken giblets, grated carrots and cabbage.

At 6 (our normal dinner-time) hungry people begin showing up in the kitchen

:some are wearing strange things:
I misjudged the doneness of the lentils, so extend my cooking time a little longer, and by 6:30 we are all sitting down at the table to eat. My dinner experience is usually something like a Jane Fonda aerobic workout to the tune of the good old cheer: "Stand up, sit down, Fight Fight Fight!", but somehow I manage to savor and enjoy my food and finish everything on my plate.

:curried lentils with basmati rice, stuffed spaghetti squash, and carrots vichy:

At 6:50 I begin quickly cleaning up, looking forward to yoga, and soon Rich and Camille take over kitchen duty so I can get ready and leave.

*insert angels singing and a heavenly choir*
I step into the car, ALONE, and decide to try out my ipod on my iphone. It is wonderful and lovely and relaxing, and I arrive at the community center with fluffy clouds cushioning my every step and a wide grin on my face.
(the photo you are about to view is a re-enactment)
Yoga rocks, as usual, and I return home refreshed at 9 pm to hear the boys crying in the bedroom with Rich trying to comfort them. I swoop in with my Magic Boobies and they drift right off to sleep.

At 9:45 I escape from MilkLand and head downstairs to take care of the laundry I checked on earlier and to start a load of diapers and wipes that I do every Thursday. I say a silent "Thank You" to Camille for folding clothes as I put some laundry away, and then I finally arrive in the living room to greet my husband and look him in the eye and have a decent conversation. He is very tired tonight, so he heads off to bed, and I enjoy a glass of milk and a cookie in front of the fire as I work on recounting my day for all of you (and mostly for myself).
This exercise has been surprisingly informative for me in helping me to see clearly the choices that I make with my time on a daily basis and how those choices affect the flow of my day. Looking back I feel like this was one of the better days with my kids, and I think the difference was that I was able to go a little more with the flow, instead of trying to bend them to my schedule. I am most excited to have done this for posterity's sake...for the ability to look back at this in 20 or 30 or 50 years...heck, even next year (hopefully!) and realize how much has changed, and actually be able to be nostalgic for these precious moments.

Thanks for taking a peek!

Kimya Dawson Benefit Concert

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 23:00:00 +0000

So I told you back in April about what an amazing and inspiring musician and performer Kimya Dawson is. Well, now is your chance to see her, and support a great cause. She will be playing at the Village Free School as a fundraiser for the school!! Please join us, come see an awesome concert, and support an amazing school.

Sleep Through The Static

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 23:54:00 +0000

My current favorite song.

Sleep Through The Static

Trouble travels fast
When you’re specially designed for crash testing
Or wearing wool sunglasses in the afternoon
Come on and tell us what you’re trying to prove

Because it’s a battle when you dabble in war
You store it up, unleash it, then you piece it together
Whether the storm drain running rampant just stamp it
And send it to somebody who’s pretending to care

Just cash in your blanks for little toy tanks
Learn how to use them, then abuse them and choose them
Over conversations relationships are overrated
“I hated everyone” said the sun

And so I will cook all your books
You’re too good looking and mistooken
You could watch it instead
From the comfort of your burning beds
…Or you can sleep through the static

Who needs sleep when we’ve got love?
Who needs keys when we’ve got clubs?
Who needs please when we’ve got guns?
Who needs peace when we’ve gone above
But beyond where we should have gone?
We went beyond where we should have gone

Stuck between channels my thoughts all quit
I thought about them too much, allowed them to touch
The feelings that rained down on the plains all dried and cracked
Waiting for things that never came

Shock and awful thing to make somebody think
That they have to choose pushing for peace supporting the troops
And either you’re weak or you’ll use brut force-feed the truth
The truth is we say not as we do

We say anytime, anywhere, just show your teeth and strike the fear
Of god wears camouflage, cries at night and drives a dodge
Pick up the beat and stop hogging the feast
That’s no way to treat an enemy

Well mighty mighty appetite
we just eat ‘em up and keep on driving
Freedom can be freezing take a picture from the pretty side
Mind your manners wave your banners
What a wonderful world that this angle can see

But who needs to see what we’ve done?
Who needs please when we’ve got guns?
Who needs keys when we’ve got clubs?
Who needs peace when we’ve gone above
But beyond where we should have gone?
Beyond where we should have gone
We went beyond where we should have gone
Beyond where we should have gone
[ Sleep Through The Static Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

And here's a live version, just to see how amazing and lovely and yummy Jack is:

Better than TV

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:54:00 +0000

iPhone

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:04:00 +0000

Me, in my living room, sitting by the fire, playing with my iPhone.

Check Out August

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:23:00 +0000

I am continuing to play catch-up here...go back and see all of the August posts I got to today.

enjoy the sunshine :)

Food Dehydrator? Anyone? Bueller???

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 06:11:00 +0000

I am up to my armpits in pears from the glorious and prolific pear tree in our backyard. For the last 4 days I have been peeling, coring, slicing, and experimenting with these sweet jewels and trying to think of as many ways to preserve them as I can. So far I have been successfully making pear sauce, am going to try making pear butter, and I would really love to dehydrate some of these...dried pears are really tasty. So I come to you, my bloggy-mama friends, to ask if anyone has a food dehydrator I may be able to borrow. I can sweeten you up with an offer of ripe, delicious pears....

ETA: Thank you, Adina, for the use of your dehydrator!!!

I'm Back!

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:27:00 +0000

After having the hard drive replaced, I picked up my computer from Mac Force, excited to be reunited with my missing limb. I was so sad to discover that they had restored it to the "factory settings," which meant that the Leopard operating system I had upgraded to just weeks after getting my computer was not re-installed. This would not have been that big of a problem, except for that after moving and not ~~even remotely~~ quite being done unpacking I had no idea where that damn little disc was stored. I could not do anything on my computer besides access the internet before installing the new OS, or else I would lose it all again when I upgraded. So, a mission to clean and reorganize the garage was bumped to the top of the "to do" list! The disc was found, the garage was mega decluttered (aka: gigantic Goodwill drop-off), and now I am a happy girl. My computer is all back to new, and totally functional once again! :) What a relief... I really don't like being behind, though, and that is exactly how I have been feeling lately. There are many blog posts that have been waiting until I could download my pictures (which I *just* did!), dates I want to make with people that have been put off until I could get my calendar up and running again, and projects I have been sitting on that required this or that program on my computer. Well, I'm no longer waiting, now I just have to get caught up!!

And here, a small gesture to cheer you up, our giraffes:

My 1st Mac Love.... Gone

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 22:13:00 +0000

I just got the call from Mac Force... they couldn't save my hard drive. One minute it was there, and the next it was gone...taking with it all of my beloved pictures, my too-full calendar, and all of the blogs I was subscribed to. If I have plans with you for anytime in the near or distant future, please let me know. If you have good pictures of my family with yours from the last few months (I have all of my photos backed up, up to January or February of this year), I would love copies. If your recipes is one that has become one of my favorites, I may be emailing you to get it again. Please be patient with me. My brain died.

PS: thank you thank you to camille, for letting me use her computer. it helps with the withdrawls.

Some Sushi-Lovin'

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 04:26:00 +0000

Anyone who knows our family knows how much we all love sushi. Here is photographic proof from 2 Takahashi trips in the past month:

With Uncle Christian, Aunt Haley, and Dylan
With Camille, our resident origami expert :)
"Ta-Da!"
"Where's the unagi??"

Making Soup, Double Hula-Hooping & Re-Fashioning

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:04:00 +0000

We are so blessed to be surrounded by friends who share the same interests and philosophies as we do. We have been getting together with Caleb and his mom, Jenna, for 2 years next month--exploring homeschooling and supporting each other.

Kylin and Caleb had fun picking veggies from the garden, and then we had an impromptu cooking and knife handling lesson when the kids decided to make soup.

Kylin was inspired by Camille's new book, Generation T: 108 Ways to Transform a T-Shirt
and made a "Flashdance"-style T.Our Super Hula-Hooper!

New Kitchen

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 23:08:00 +0000

Rich worked his sexy ass off while we were in California, remodeling the kitchen of the house we own there. Here you can witness the stunning transformation (although I wish I had "before" pictures). The tile countertop was deteriorating so badly that it was caving in in places. The cabinets and drawers fell to the floor almost every time they were opened, and there appeared to be no sub-floor beneath the kitchen sink (it turned out there was...it was just covered so badly with a layer of "ick" that it was unidentifiable). Suffice it to say, it was beyond time for a new kitchen.

Removing the antique built-in oven
Smiling through the dust
Bucket-Head
"Helping"
The drywall was removed from about 5 feet down, all around the kitchen

The pipe where the cooktop used to be. The flooring in this area was particularly difficult, because the previous owners had layered pergo-type flooring over linoleum, over tile in some places, and it ended up being uneven and hard to cover.
Cutting plywood to bring up the level of the subfloor
Protected
New moisture-resistant sheetrock
Regular sheetrock
Trying out the cabinets

Assembling
Look at those expressions...
The cabinets going up

Brothers working together, with a little help
It's starting to look like a kitchen again

Countertops being put on
Mary, Kirk, Theresa, and Rich... all smiles
Cutting Countertop: A Dusty Job
A break??
Jim hooking up the plumbing
Measure twice, cut once
"I never thought I'd be thankful for the opportunity to do dishes!"
Checking out the heights
FINISHED!!

Kylin's "Day Off"

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 02:15:00 +0000

Contrary to what you may read, I do love to be with my kids. Rich and I believe that our children should be a part of our daily lives, that it is very important that we are attached to each other, and that we can best teach through living and modeling. This path of parenting requires a great deal of patience, as I strive to constantly be connected to and in tune with my kids. It also requires that I am diligent about self-care and making sure that my cup is full so that I can be truly present for my children. To do this, we have instituted "Mom's Day Off", on which I am relieved of many of my duties and can focus on what I need as a person to feel whole and rejuvenated.

The idea of a "Day Off" really appealed to Kylin, and she decided that she, too, needed to take one. When asked what she would do on a hypothetical day off, she thought seriously, and replied that she would visit Toys R Us to pick out a toy, she would go to the library to get some books, and she would go out for lunch. This all sounded very doable to me, especially since Kylin had a gift card for Toys R Us that had been in my wallet for a couple of years.

The 4 of us had a wonderful day together, Kylin felt important and appreciative, and lunch was the only thing we spent money on!

I underestimated the boys' attention spans, assuming they would lose interest in this train table after a few minutes and be ready to move on. They played happily for at least 15 minutes, and I ended up having to pull them away so we could finish our trip. I am now searching craigslist for a train table. :)
A special treat: getting to ride the machine near the checkouts!
And, a giant gumball
Mmmmm...Lunch!
Another future baseball nut
Working on the summer reading program

Celebrate Summer

noreply@blogger.com (UrbanHippieMama) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 04:58:00 +0000

Mayan and Isadore had their annual birthday celebration the weekend after we got back to Portland. It was a wonderful way to reconnect with friends, although I must admit I was still very "out of it"...trying to come back down after a month of intensity. The weather was perfect, the kids had a wonderful time, and Leah even made me a Bison Chocolate Stout float....mmmmmm.....that'l love. :)

Short Party Animals: Mayan, Kylin, Isadore, and Kaden
Look at those ears on Isa-Kitty!! Made by none other than the dextrously-gifted Joi
Prepared for the Egg Race..."Good Luck, Eggy!"
Mayan's beautiful eyes strike me every time I look at this picture
Rawr... they are so CUTE (in a hot and sexy way)!
The Mama of all Mamas
Sacked out on the ~~love-making~~ Green couch