Use Your Words...

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:20:00 +0000

QUICK! what are your best home remedies for a cold?
Because I feel rotten...

A little anecdote

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:02:00 +0000

Last night, in honor of my sister coming in from San Francisco, Colin and I spent the night at my mom's apartment in downtown Phoenix. She and her partner, J, live right amidst the rapidly growing art scene and every 1st Friday of the month the street is shut down and the galleries are open late and people mill about purchasing things and eating local tamales and shaved ice (in November because Arizona weather is batshit insane). It's about 1/8 the size of anything they have in a regular large city with a thriving arts scene, but HEY! We're getting there! Go go urban development!

But I digress.

After a lovely evening of walking around looking at art, eating at an awesome local restaurant, and running around with his Nana, J, and his auntie. Colin, Nana and I headed up to bed. We brushed our teeth and got into jammies (ok, we attempted jammies, Colin is anti-jammie) and we crawled into bed.
The layout of the apartment is a split plan. Colin, Nana and I were in one bedroom and J was in the other one across the living room. Colin was snuggled in between my mom and I and giving us eskimo kisses and trying to con his way out of bed. All the lights were off and the house was quiet.
After about 30 minutes of wrangling, Colin finally slid off the bed. My mom and I waited in silence, knowing there was nothing interesting or destructible in the rest of the house.
Colin looked around him, and marched out the door, his little diapered butt bobbing along. We heard him march down the hallway, stop and begin walking again. For a long while it was silent and dark.
And then, out of nowhere, a light flicked on and Colin shouted at the top of his lungs: "TAH DAH!"
He had managed to march into my mom's bedroom in the dark, go over to the bed and reach up and turn on the bedside table lamp. Mom and I died laughing.

Colin fell asleep 15 minutes later.

these dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:50:00 +0000

This morning saw me waking up from a dream that was exceptionally vivid:
I was sitting across from a dining companion eating salmon and wild rice, drinking a glass of red wine. We were talking about politics (how we felt about President Obama a year in) and his career. The salmon was poached, it was very buttery and I asked for more lemon. He was eating a a cous cous salad , quinoa maybe? He gave me a taste of it and laughed when a little piece tumbled out of my mouth. The tablecloth had a pattern on it and we both remarked on how unusual that was. I lifted my wine glass and looked at the wine in the candle light and admired the jeweled hue, and I knew, while still dreaming, that it was all a dream, however real seeming. I looked at Heath Ledger who sat across from me and said: "It really sucks that this is a dream" and he grinned that beautiful wide smile at me and I woke up with a powerful sorrow.
In fact, this dream and that sorrow were so strong I am getting choked up writing it...how about that for a Friday morning

a little peek into my brain

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:44:00 +0000

boxers to your corners!

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:54:00 +0000

last night I was sitting there thinking, do I have an interesting anecdote from my day to share? I couldn't think of one over the shouting of my child who did not want to go to bed. AT ALL. Not even in our cozy family bed.
This has been a recurring them of late, his thinking of every excuse in the book to get out of bedding down for the night, and then resorting to kicking and screaming...sigh. I know it's age appropriate for him to do this and that means the crazy tantrums during the day too, but dang is it wearing me down.
So my question is: If you have a toddler, how do you beat the bedtime battle?

breathless

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:41:00 +0000

Buddy B has a terrible cold today...well he's had a cold off and on for the better part of a month, but today he had a little bitty fever, a crazy runny nose, and a barking cough. I'm letting him take an extra long nap in the hopes that it will help him fight off this rollicking ick.
Colin has a "chronic wheeze" (our beloved pediatrician won't call it asthma because that sort of "pre-exsisting condition" is a pain to deal with on the insurance end, so he avoids the term) which means that he is much more susceptible to respiratory blah blah than other kiddos. He's on two kind of meds on an as needed basis (Albuterol and Pulmicort for those in the know)that are distributed through a nebulizer. Weather changes and what not really throw him for a loop, as does long term contact with other sick kiddos.
The weather lately (while gorgeous) has really killed my poor little guy and this barking cough is just miserable...for all of us in our cozy family bed. We are doing his usual meds (though I am not at all a fan of the Albuterol, it totally keys him up)and pushing a lot of fluids to thin the ick. But aside from that I'm totally at a loss...
Any thoughts about what I can do to control this rottenness? All natural remedies, and their ilk are especially appreciated!

of late

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:21:00 +0000

last night I had a dream that I was swimming under ice and couldn't find a hole to come up for air. I found this not at all panic inducing (as it should have been...I mean HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN TRAPPED UNDER ICE) but rather invigorating and energizing, as though a search for an air hole whilst trapped beneath ice is the best way to start one's day - forget about it coffee!

I have no idea what this means for my psyche.

In other news Colin is delicately dipping his toe in the potty training pool. I can only hope that the Good Lord has sent this development our way as a way to make up for the rotten tantrums that have made up our lives lately courtesy of two and a half. This specific age bracket is kicking my keester.

No seriously, I need a nap like every day.

All is well here, we are enjoying the beautiful weather and trying to spend all our time outside. Even Halloween went weather smoothly and we all got to wear the dinosaur costume we liked the most...see?

Perhaps this will be a trend this month: inane postings with various adorable pictures of my child. Who's with me?

little known fact about me

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 14:46:00 +0000

I have never participated in Daylight Savings...every time I have lived in another state they have already sprung forward or fallen back.

:)

Also...who is NaBloPoMo'ing?

when autumn leaves start to fall...

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 17:17:00 +0000

October is a month for dressing up and pretending, for embellishment and fun...Fall is my favorite season and though we've had some random hot days here and there it has been absolutely lovely lately...I'm even getting out of this foggy funk...here is what we have been doing: wearing homemade capes and seeing how they fly, getting a bicycle helmet and wearing it all the time, wearing our Halloween costume weeks before Halloween, pretending to be daddy, and getting a lovely tree permanently etched on our skin...How has the start of fall been for you?

5

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:14:00 +0000

5 amusing phrases I have been trying to get my son to say on a regular basis:
-"More juice woman!"
-"How YOU doin?"
-"I am the very model of a modern major general"
-"truck" (ok this one is neither amusing nor a phrase but it's necessary because the "tr" sound is pronounced "fw" at our house and it makes us all uncomfortable...especially at church)
-"hey you kids! get off my lawn!"

suffice it to say he won't preform any of these for me or an audience. Not even with cookie bribes.

I'm kidding! I'm not really bribing him with cookies.

Sometimes I am.

how have I only just discovered this capability?!?!

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 04:03:00 +0000

ups and downs

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:30:00 +0000

sigh.
I wish I had something witty and inspirational and fascinating to post here. Unfortunately, despite the gorgeous weather we're having these days, I have been a bit of a funk.
Oh it's a little of this and a little of that. Every month brings the same bad news to a couple trying to have Little Buddy numero dos. Every morning brings the same cluttered house. Every afternoon brings the same meltdown over naps.
My running fell off this week as I waited breathlessly to see if this round of odd symptoms equaled good news...to no avail. Still a big no before that pregnant.
It's not as though we've trying for long, it's just that when God put this desire on my heart He really burned it in there...it's silly that I should be dismayed about this. I know it's a lesson on the Lord's timing, a lesson (once again for this slow learner) that it's all in His control and not in mine.
Colin has been struggling with being two and a half. For our precise, focused child everything must be just so. Like his mother he gets an idea in his head and if it doesn't go that way...oh man, watch out. On the up side he's been talking so much! After the long silence of his babyhood (that lasted long past one and almost to two) hearing him babble about "wockets" and "halcockcars" and "Mommy, I go Nana's house now. Go Mama, go home. I at Nanas" has been a dream, a joy, a constant source of entertainment.
I have been trying to discern what it is that triggered this round of, what to call it, not quite depression, melancholy, stillness, stagnation? Nothing comes to mind but that the inevitable flux of life got to be a little overwhelming for me and I just started feeling like I wasn't keeping up. Isn't that silly?
It seems that there is no end to this season of movement, of adjustment. That life, for now (for always?), will be about learning new lessons and putting them into practice with as much grace as I can find.
I wish you less stumbles and more pirouettes friends...and renewed spirit for myself to come with the chill of fall mornings.

sooo, about that race

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:38:00 +0000

I've joined dailymile to keep track of my miles run and what times I'm running it in.
I don't anticipate doing well seeing as how I got shin splints on day 2. sigh.
But there is a crafty little link where you can send me motivation...even if it's just "quit talking so much about your damned healthnut kick!"

for heaven's sake

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:01:00 +0000

sigh.

Do you have friends who don't share your lifestyle? Friends whom you tone parts of your personality down for because you know that have a deep seated distaste for something you embrace? And not things that are clearly in poor taste like racism or torturing animals or listening to country music (kidding! kidding!)but things that are simple and good and very personal: co-sleeping, unschooling, belief in Christ...

Do you tone down your love for these things based on something unspoken? Like, your friend has just expressed their distaste so clearly, so distinctly, so OFTEN, that you just keep your mouth shut. You don't mention it, you make jokes about it. You keep your passion about it on mute because you know somehow your relationship with them would change just by showing how dedicated you are to something that they hate. But they have never said word one to you to do this. That it is possible that they might just smile and say: "Silly, I know you love it. I hate that thing, but I love you and that's enough"

I posted a video on my Facebook that really moved me at church today. It was a lovely video based on this speech by Dr. S. M. Lockeridge. It is the most obviously religious thing I have ever posted anywhere, it is basically a call to conversion and something that spoke to me so strongly. I posted it on my feed and hit publish and was racked with anxiety. Then I posted this: "Friends, I won't lie. Posting that decidedly Christian video on my page has me slightly anxious. And I know exactly why, I feel like those of you whom I keep my religion on mute for will really not appreciate my cluttering up your feeds with it.... And will then extend that thought to me. And it might be ridiculous. But it might not be."

and I remain anxious. and I know that my dear friends who are dedicated atheists, atheists who believe my religion, that all religion is the root of all the evil in this world, dear wonderful people who I have heard saying that people who believe in God are idiots, who know that I believe in God...I know that they will see those posts and chuckle and know that the second is about them. And I worry that it will be the moment of remaining my friend and loving me despite hating my faith, or realizing that it's too much and they can't respect me enough to love me.

But more than that, I am anxious because I realized that by posting this seemingly innocuous video on my silly Facebook page I have brought these thoughts to mind, and that I have to make these choices too. I have to decide if their vocal hatred and judgment of my faith is too much.

oh dear. I really really don't like this train of thought.

And now for something completely different

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:58:00 +0000

I'm tired of running updates (although if you're keen on them I cross trained yesterday, good LORD I love my bike.)
Today has been deemed: I have some seriously odd issues day! Please share your bizarre hang ups in the comments!
I realized as I was doing a quick clean of my house today that I am really to wound up about how things smell. It's not like I have a particularly sensitive nose or anything, it's just that I love the smells of things and have a deep seated anxiety about my house smelling strange.
So I burn candles and oils and mop with those goofy Febreeze scented swiffer cloths. I hate the diaper genie we have in Colin's room, it hangs on to the ungodly odors that come out of that child and his room always smells vaguely rotten. ew.
I hate cleaning the dishes for a similar reason, the smell of pasta sauce in water is enough to make me swallow hard.
There are smells I adore that other people think smell strangely: tires and wet pavement, that spicy sweet scent that comes off a newborn baby's skull. I love the smell of clean laundry and cut grass. I think my Arid Extra Dry Regular scent smells quite nice.
DO you ever think about what you hope people would say about you when they talk about you to someone else? "She's got killer legs" "He is so incredibly smart"...Often times I think that I would be tickled to find out my husband told someone who's never met me: "My wife smells so amazing"
A lot of smells evoke specific vivid memories for me, a lot of people would list baking bread in the category of things that smell great but after my high school stint working at a bakery the smell of baking bread reminds me of making change. The smell of cigarettes reminds me of late nights at the theatre. And the smell of tortillas on the comal will always make me think of summer and my childhood.
I think a lot about the smells that make up my life now and the smells that used to compose my day to day existence. The smell of a copy machine after running 1000 marketing inserts, the smell of a cat box the needs to be emptied, the smell of my new car the day after I bought it. These smells have faded, though I can describe them perfectly.
Now my life smells like sunscreen and salt, like clean laundry and garlic cooking butter. It smells like the faint iron and dirt scent that little boys get when they've been running around all afternoon. Sheets that have been slept in by a family of three, the hot scent of the dishwasher finishing a load. Strawberries and graham crackers and lavender.
Such a lovely melange of smells...such a lovely life.

Shi....ns.

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:38:00 +0000

Shin splints. 4 days in and I am having to ice my legs down after I run.
Oy vey.
I start running with my Children's Museum folks soon, so that will keep my mind off my aching legs...
I can do this.

In other news I got a new computer! Thanks Luke! You're the best one.

Where are we runnin?

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:01:00 +0000

Day 2, almost 4 miles. I'm sore from yesterday so I took it a little slower on the longer stretches.
My route was northward this morning, a considerable improvement. More cute neighborhoods, more sprinklers...strangely less loose dogs.
I want to eventually be able to make it to my aunts house and hit her up for early morning coffee or take their dog for the rest of my run. I'm shooting to be able to do this by the beginning of October. It's a simple goal...and is still only about 4.5 miles...

Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:10:00 +0000

Dear God am I ever out of shape. I ran/walked/took a break for 2.2 miles this morning. I was moving fast-ish for at least 25 of the 40 minutes I was out. I was whistled at/cat called by 15 men in trucks (there might have been more but I didn't think to count until after the 3rd vehicle). I was almost bitten by a wee chihuahua, he was yapping and snapping at my ankles and I wanted to kick him but I was afraid to break his tiny skull. My initial route sucks, I need to find a better one. And thicker socks. And something to carry the music. And my water.

And now an open letter to my stamina -

Dear My Stamina:
Wow. The amount you suck cannot be quantified. Let's get with the program ok? We are now training for a half marathon. I mean, really.

Kisses!
Meg

Please don't stop the music - now with more playlist!

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 22:38:00 +0000

Day 1 of my training is Monday morning, EARLY. Because I need to build up to my actual half marathon training program I am just going to be running and doing basic cross training for the first 4-ish weeks (I have 16 weeks to train), I need to be able to run 3 miles without dying for at least 3 weeks to effectively start my program (oy. vey.) So that means running 4 days a week, cross training (muscle building blah blah) 2 days a week and resting 1 day a week (it's similar to my actual program but the running is less structured...HI! Are you bored yet?)

My first attempt at a playlist:

1. Beautiful Day U2
2. Forever Chris Brown
3. Viva La Vida Coldplay
4. Jump Around House of Pain
5. You're So Damn Hot Ok Go
6. One More Time Daft Punk
7. Pump It Black Eyed Peas
8. Song 2 Blur
9. Body Movin' Beastie Boys
10. Hand's Up Black Eyed Peas
11. Gives You Hell The All American Rejects
12. The Ballad of Chasey Lane The Bloodhound Gang
13. Are You Gonna Be My Girl Jet
14. Lose Yourself Eminem
15. Shake Your Rump Beastie Boys
16. Around the World Daft Punk

I tried sticking with songs that showed up on a lot of online running playlists (Chris Brown, Eminem) and artists that I know always get me pumped up (Black Eyed Peas, Daft Punk)...I have an hour of music and my first small goal is to run for an hour straight (or at least stay out and keep moving for an hour) (I am not holding my breath to accomplish this tomorrow morning). I organized it as best I could with the mellower tunes at the top to get me stretched and started and moving into faster stuff to keep me going.

Wish me luck!

Life List #33

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 15:13:00 +0000

33. Run a half marathon

Start playing the Chariots of Fire theme song nnnnnow...

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 15:09:00 +0000

I just told my friend Jeanne that I would run a 1/2 marathon (13.1 bloody miles) with her on January 17th.
I did it in public on Facebook and everything. That means no takesies backsies. I read her status and was moved by the spirit. I have been talking about losing some weight and getting in shape for a while now and this was something I have never done before. A lot of the time I commit to doing something and life gets in the way and I bail...this time I am turning to you blog readers (all 4 of you!) to keep me honest. I start training soon, I'll post pictures and updates and do this thing.
I am training to run 13.1 miles all at the same time.
Gulp.
What have I done?

Sister

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:31:00 +0000

This picture was taken years ago the night my sister turned 21. I drove down to Tucson to spend her birthday with her. She did my hair for me. I bought her drinks most of the night. It was marvelous.
My sister is one of my best friends and I am so sad that I can't just jump in the car and drive to San Francisco to spend the evening of her birthday with her.
Today Colin and I called her voice mail (she's working) and sang her happy birthday. Colin even repeated the birthday message I told him to say (on the first try! truly a birthday miracle!). We'll send her a little present through the mail a little later on but we won't see her until November or until I come in to some thousands of dollars for no reason. sigh.

So Happy Birthday sister mine! You're gorgeous, you're fabulous and you are the best friend a girl like me could ask for...I love you heaps and I miss you stacks.

Movement (orginally posted on the 5 year anniversary)

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Today seems to be one of those days dedicated to remembering, to telling stories, to reflecting on the movement and changes of life over the last 8 years. My lord, has it been eight years?

I often wonder how we, as Americans, got here: beginning to number the changes of our lives from that warm September morning 8 years ago. Is it because it seemed so earth shattering at the time, we feel like time itself shifted? Is it because we have lost so many (not just in the attacks but in the wars that have followed) and we cannot imagine our lives continuing without these souls?

Maybe it is because today marks the moment that we became like everyone else in the world. It marks the moment when we ceased to be untouchable and all of our sins (made by Republican and Democratic leaders alike) came crashing down upon us, with a rage so blinding...it burned away who we were. It demolished any notion we had that we were immune and better-than and indestructible.

Today marks the moment we became mortal...

I wholeheartedly acknowledge the importance of today. Like everyone else cognizant in the world that morning, I can tell you what I was doing (driving to class), what I was thinking (initially that it was a radio hoax, and later I just felt drained), and what I did for the rest of that day (wandered around campus in a daze, I went home that night and sat in the living room of the apartment I shared with a childhood friend, we ate pizza, we waited for news of her...cousin maybe?, we watched the news for hours, we did not speak). I realize that this is the event I will tell my son about, like JFK's death with my parents (or with MY parents, the Kent State protester murders), when they pick up their history books in elementary school. I am aware that this day marks more than a tragedy but a shifting of consciousness for our society, not just the American people but worldwide. I know many many people who became politically energized that day, who became socially aware; who became charitable beyond what they thought they were capable of...September 11th will always be seared in our minds.

But I did not weep that day...not for many hours, maybe not even until the next day. It was too much, too big to comprehend. It was to far away, and my family was here, safe, still anticipating the movement of life to come. While I have been changed over the last 8 years...9/11 was just another change, another movement in my life. A terrifying one...but one more nonetheless...

In the last 8 years, I have lived overseas, I have cared for an ailing relative, I have gotten married and divorced and married again, I have protested a war, I have lost my last remaining grandparents within months of each other, I have turned 21 25 27, I have watched my best friend leave for a war zone, I have moved 8 times, I have become a mother.

It is THESE gripping, heartbreaking, astonishing, marvelous events that have comprised the changes in my life over the last 8 years. The events of that day 8 years ago were only part of my story...they are part of your story too...

On days like today, when we sit and tally up our lives, I am struck by the thought that the opportunity for change, for movement and growth is present every day. Every morning, September or February, summer or spring, we are faced with the opportunity to be an active participant in our fate. We are constantly afforded opportunities to take risks and grow as people.

It has taken me years of therapy to come to this conclusion folks...years.

the bottom line is this:

We do not need a catastrophic event to remind us how fluid we are, how strong and fascinating.

We need merely look in the mirror....and seize every opportunity we can.

Life List #'s 22-32

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:16:00 +0000

22. Be the voice for a cartoon character

23. Preform the Queen of the Night aria (from Mozart's Magic Flute) just like I could in high school

24. Live in London again

25. Make ice cream from scratch

26. Learn to ride a motorcycle

27. and then ride that motorcycle through Vietnam (a la "Top Gear")

28. Take ballet long enough to go on pointe

29. Take a cross country road trip with my family in an RV

30. Paint another room in my house

31. Stop biting my fingernails

32. Learn to tango

Four Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (Megling) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:59:00 +0000

Both my husband and myself wear glasses, I have terrible, rotten vision (I'm legally required to have vision correction on whilst driving) and Luke is probably only slightly better than myself. Thus far Little Buddy B has shown no signs of inheriting this trait but he does love him a good pair of glasses...and any opportunity to make a goofy face. (The thing around him is a Crazy Creek chair that he often wears as a portable tent, or turns into his "earpane!")

I just realized that most of these are slightly blurry...this is how I see the world! ;)