Useful Stuff 4 U

Lecturer & The Medical Students

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 12:46:00 +0000

A Lecturer in a Medical college, famous for his high regard for social values, was lecturing the students on the harms of alcohol.

To demonstrate its adverse effect on the human nervous system, he took a worm and dropped it into a bowl of gin & tonic.

The worm wriggled around for a few minutes before finally giving a few convulsive twitches and dying.

“So what can you conclude from it?”, asked the Lecturer, expecting that the answer is too obvious.

“Yes,” came a voice from the back, “if you have got worms in your stomach, drink alcohol.”

Parenting Advice

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 07:53:00 +0000

You can let your children live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV.

But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it.

After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters.

It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, you want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person.

The most important thing is your children learn how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learn how to work with others to get things done.

Multi facts about the human brain

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 08:55:00 +0000

- Women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression than men in the United States.

- The human brain has about 100,000,000,000 (100 billion) neurons.

- From all the oxygen that a human breathes, twenty percent goes to the brain.

- People who ride on roller coasters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain.

- Once a human reaches the age of 35, he/she will start losing approximately 7,000 brain cells a day. The cells will never be replaced.

- It is not possible to tickle yourself. The cerebellum, a part of the brain, warns the rest of the brain that you are about to tickle yourself. Since your brain knows this, it ignores the resulting sensation.

- A women from Berlin Germany has had 3,110 gallstones taken out of her gall bladder.

- In America, the most common mental illness is Anxiety Disorders.

- Your brain is 80% water.

- Your brain is move active and thinks more at night than during the day.

Saans lene se bhi teri yaad aati hai ................

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 07:18:00 +0000

Saans lene se bhi teri yaad aati hai,

Har saans mein teri khushboo bas jati hai,

Kese kahoon ki saans se main zinda hoon,

Jab ki saans se pehle teri yaad aati hai.

Gham Ke Bina ..........

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 13:17:00 +0000

Gham Ke Bina Zindagi Adhoori Hai

Ae Musafir Phir Bhee Tera Jeena Zarori Hai

Mat Ho Apni Zindigai Se Khafa

Kyon Ki Teri Zindagi Ke Bina

Ek Aur Zindagi Adhoori Hai.

Life Lessons: Which Wolf?

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 11:53:00 +0000

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

"One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

"The other is Good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Everything is big in Texas

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 11:43:00 +0000

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush"..

Aaj Zindagi Mein Kyun Aisa Mod Aaya Hai

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 13:39:00 +0000

Aaj Zindagi Mein Kyun Aisa Mod Aaya Hai

Jo Tha Apna Kabhi, Wohi Hua Paraya Hai

Maine To Naam Tere Tamaam Zindagi Likh Di

Magar Dard Diye Hai Tune Mujhko Bada Satayaa Hai

Dil Gam Mein Doob Gaya Sapne Toote Hai Saare Kyun

Phir Bhi Dil Ne Ek Khwaab Sajaya Hai

Pyaar Maine Kiya Par Khata Meri Na Thi

Tune Mujhe Hi Kyo Gunehgaar Thehraya Hai

Bas Teri Yaadon Ka Sahara Reh Gaya

Tujhe Hi Yaad Karke Har Lamha Bitaya Hai

Sakht Lamhe Kuch Is Tarah Guzaare

Humne Teri Tasveer Ko Seene Se Lagaya Hai

Ae Dil Unchi Udaney Na Bharo Abhi

Dil Par Maanta Nahi Humne Bahut Samjhaya Hai

Guzre Hue Lamhe Mujh Se Baat Karte Hai

Dil Laga Ke Adil Tune Dukh Kyun Paaya Hai...

Stupidity

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:31:00 +0000

--> Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

--> Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

--> Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

--> Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.

EVER WONDER ...

--> Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

--> Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

--> Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

--> Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

--> Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

--> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

--> Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

--> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

--> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

--> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

--> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

--> You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

--> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

--> Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

--> If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Light Humor

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:11:00 +0000

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! -- Anonymous

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. -- Oscar Wilde

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. -- Scottish Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. -- Sam Kinison

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. -- H. L. Mencken

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

You can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. -- Anonymous

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?" -- Anonymous

Human Mysteries

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 12:09:00 +0000

- Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.

- The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

- You use 200 muscles to take one step.

- The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

- Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

- A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.

- A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball..

- The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

- The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

- It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

- The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

- Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

- At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

- Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.

- The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

- Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.

- When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

- Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

- So are you comparing thumb to nose now !

Men And Women

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 06:02:00 +0000

Men and Women on planet earth die from various places throughout the world at a particular moment in time and go to God's abode to be judged.

The God welcomes this new batch and tries his experimental new judgement trick and says," I want all you humans to form two queues.

One line is for the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away from here so that no man and woman can talk and I can talk to men alone."

When the women were gone, the Almighty returns and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women is a hundred miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one solitary man.

The God about to open his third eye of anger, thunders, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"

"Come and tell all them henpecked, my brave son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" God asked.

The nervous man replies, "I don't know sir, but my wife told me to stand here, until this is over."

HRD Notice of a Company to Employees!

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 07:45:00 +0000

Dear STAFF,

Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

***********

1) TRANSPORTATION:

It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.

c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

***********

2) ANNUAL LEAVE :

Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee).

- They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs.

***********

3) LUNCH BREAK:

a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

***********

4) SICK DAYS:

We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.

- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

***********

5) SURGERY :

As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.

- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.

- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

***********

6) INTERNET USAGE :

All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges

will be deducted from your salary.

- Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 10MB connection.

Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed somewhere else.

Best Regards,

HRD

Some Interesting Science Facts

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 10:34:00 +0000

Numbers And Words

If you spell all the numbers and try to find letter "A" you will have to count to thousand.

Did you know that: 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 Weird huh?

******

What Does WD-40 Stand For?

Maybe you didn't know but WD-40 stands for Water Displacement, 40th attempt.

Name was coined by the chemist, Norm Larsen, while he was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion by displacing water. Norm's persistence paid off when he perfected the formula on his 40th try.

******

Coffee Beans Aromas

The full chemical name for caffeine is 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine and its chemical formula is C8H10N4O2.

When coffee is roasted, and when the coffee beans begin to cool, they release about 700 chemical substances that make up the vaporizing aromas.

******

Two Million Years Road Trip

Closest galaxy to our Milk Way galaxy is Andromeda and even traveling at the speed of light it would take 2 million years to reach it.

There are 100 billion galaxies that we can observe. Prediction is that there is much more, but Hubble Space Telescope couldn't detect them.

******

Modern Panchtantra Story

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 07:15:00 +0000

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe),

he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.

Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.

The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give

him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer

asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

********

Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Leather Bound Bible

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 11:00:00 +0000

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car.

Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study.

His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat Disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold.

Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible? and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.

Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.

His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11, "And if ye, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.

*******

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected? I trust you enjoyed this. Pass it on to others. Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for...

IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKED THE WAY YOU WANT IT, IT'S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER PACKED THAT WAY! ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS; THEY USUALLY LEAD YOU TO ATTACHMENTS!

*******

NICE TO KNOW THIS

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 03:37:00 +0000

1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a Person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions!!!!!!!!!!

2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!

3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.

4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.

5. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.

6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow Then it is ripe.

7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.

8. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.

9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.

10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.

11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.

14. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears Never stop growing.

15. Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints.

16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.

17. At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14. 4 calories per hour by Breathing.

18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt Every year.

19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk Rightfoot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot,left Foot...

20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.

21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

22. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch And make it look like it's smiling.

23. The color blue can have a calming affect on people.

24. Depending upon the shade, the brain may send up to 11 tranquilizing Chemicals to calm the body

25. Leonardo DA Vinci could write with the one hand and draw with the other simultaneously. Now we know why his pictures were exquisite!!

26. Names of the three wise monkeys are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).

27. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and parrot.

28. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

29. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child Reaches 2-6 years of age

30. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.

31. Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire.

32. All U.S. Presidents have worn glasses; some of them just didn't like to be seen wearing them in public.

33. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.

34. Raw cashews are poisonous and must be roasted before.

Difference

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 04:26:00 +0000

TWO WOMEN TALKING:

==================================

Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.

Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

...

....

...

NOW TWO MEN TALKING

======================================

Man 1: Haircut?

Man 2: Yeah.

Humor Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 15:39:00 +0000

"Laughter is an instant vacation"

--Merlin Berke

***************

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?

Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

***************

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?

Customer: What other colors do you have?

***************

Manager: Sorry, but i can't give you a job. I don't need much help.

Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just theright person in this case.

You will see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

***************

Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?

Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

***************

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

***************

Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!

Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?

***************

Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.

Wife: I think he did, I still got mine with me!

***************

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!

Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it

within three days, you can keep it.

***************

Father: Your teacher says she finds it

impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I say she's no good!

***************

POWER OF WIFE : QUOTES

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 13:05:00 +0000

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer.... is, 'What does a woman want?

Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'

Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

(N)Bash :)

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

Anonymous

How to get a six packs in 3 minutes

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 07:36:00 +0000

How to get a six packs in 3 minutes

Twenty Great One Liners

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 11:06:00 +0000

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books

LITTLE BOBBY

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 12:24:00 +0000

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.

Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.

He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

**************

Letter 1

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.

I want a red one.

Your friend,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,

So he tore up the letter and started over.

**************

Letter 2

Dear God,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like

a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.

Your friend,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

**************

Letter 3

Dear God,

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

**************

Letter 4

God,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.

I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.

Please! Thank you,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church.

Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.

Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.

He looked around to see if anyone was there.

Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.

He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.

He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.

Bobby began to write his letter to God.

**************

Letter 5

God,

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!

**************

Siamak Alizadeh and his Automated Prospecting System

noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:51:00 +0000

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noreply@blogger.com (Adil) — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 13:10:00 +0000

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