Solitude Gossips

In a Silent Corner of My Mind.

2016-02-16T06:25:00.002-08:00

I often wonder whether we are to blame ourselves for all the problems that come our way or our stars? Is it the lack of luck or just pure dedication and the courage to dream and not stop till you get somewhere.
What defines a man's struggle? Whether the constant need to win yet losing or seeing the less deserving get everything in life?
I can't fathom what leads a man to be so negative that he forgets what an amazing person he is. Phoenix rises from the ashes, lotuses grow in muck, people lose their limbs and their lives to deadly diseases while we crib over just a few speed breakers life sets out on our path. I don't want to see people quit just because they have been fighting for too long. What if one more try was their last try?
What if one last attempt got someone their dream job and what if live has spun a different plan for them all together?
Somewhere along the road to achieve something in life, people forget to live in their present, work hard right now rather that worrying their heads off about the future. Nothing is certain and that's the truth. I cannot begin to imagine as to what is that one thought that drives a person to quit, completely lose hope. Lose their mind in a manner that they lose their smile, their appetite to enjoy anything at all, being absolutely silent, so much that the slightest sound seems like a hammer weighing down on their heads. The constant voice at the back of their heads licking their hidden wounds and insecurities.
I think of it like a game, where you are put under pressure to do well. Think of a strategy to survive, succeed and excel. Life is never going to be easy. We should start by not comparing our lives with that of others. Everyone has their own circumstances. While some may have too much too soon, others may have to wait it out. Point is, don't stop looking forward to something. Be is whatsoever. Every moment, incident, person, teach us something. The smallest of gestures can have life changing effects. Be happy for what you have but, never stop pushing yourself a little more. Try to add to yourself, make yourself a little better than you were yesterday. Be thankful for what you have, many of them aren't even that lucky.
Point being guys, we need to stop blaming someone or something else. The answers to all our questions lie within us. Don't give up just yet, we all are wonders buried with treasures we don't even try to find a map to.
Pause!Think... Contemplate ...
Keep dreaming, work hard, never give up ... Universe is in motion to churn out the best for you ...
Fight for it if need be but, remember to smile, focus and move forward.

Some Love ...

2015-11-07T10:26:00.001-08:00

I often debated whether my heart was right,
Or was I just a chaos finding myself,
In the turbulence plaguing my mind,
I often forgot the challenge that it is.

I could not love like the old times,
Pieces of me scattered all over,
It was not about the sweet nothings anymore,
I needed what could stir my soul.

I was looking to sit side by side,
Communicating even if we spoke little,
To know the darkest fears,
To understand what inspires.

I don't want to say I Love Yous,
I want to go on adventures,
Discover what no one knows about us,
Not like the ordinary stories of love.

What drives us towards the future,
The aspirations we had since childhood,
The failures and successes,
Which made me us who we are.

What keeps us up at night,
What resides in the deepest rooms of our minds,
The things that drive us insane,
Also the ones which make us laugh.

I want to know about every iota of your being,
And I want you to reside in every breath I take,
I want to live like what we all talk about,
Two bodies and one soul.

Can we be that and not superficial love?
Can we live like we want to be alive?
Make every bit of every second?
Not just two people wanting companionship because we are afraid of being alone.

Ramblings

2015-04-09T04:23:00.004-07:00

I felt the need to discover,
To go out on my own,
Feel the harsh winds,
Settle on the go.

I isn't the best I want,
According to the wagging mouths,
Its the satisfaction of my mind,
Eventually, its my life.

I do want to explore,
The unearthed corners of my soul,
Give my everything to,
What I am capable to do.

Feels a little lonely,
Inspiration run quite low,
I suppose its the waves in life,
Will face these tides forever more.

I had a faith so strong,
In what I can be,
Against the stereotypical notions,
Of life, career and such.

Lets just take a break,
Walk inside ourselves,
Into the depths of the mind,
The unexplored mine.

I go with the gut,
I feel its right,
Is it wrong that I bother,
About what world defines.

I move, I move with gutso,
A flair in my walk,
Wind in my hair,
My time is here.

The Lust of The Night

2014-12-19T15:13:00.001-08:00

Tonight I stand,
Beneath the starlight heaven,
The silver moonlight,
netted on the waters.

Each breath as I take,
The bliss of the moment flows through me,
As I close my eyes,
I feel swept off my feet.

The tender lips are numb,
As the breeze kisses them,
The silk woven hair dance,
As the breeze plays.

I twitch in the night so serene,
As a message the wind whispers,
In the mystic cold night,
Which sends through me a silent shiver.

Retake

2014-07-29T11:02:00.003-07:00

Many times when you revisit a place, you live the vibes in a new way each time.
A girl revisited the city where she spent three years of her college life. All the streets had a memory written on them; all the words spoken, the feelings felt. The wreckless nights and the silent thoughts. The magic still remained in the air like perfume hanging off of a cloudy thread.

She met the people she once hung out with. The familiar faces brought back ocean deep memories. The good and the bad. It wasnt only the journey with the place but, the journey with people. The ones who came and went and those who remained. She saw the flashback to the start of the three years and it played like a movie right before her eyes. Each vivid experience enhancing her visit back to perhaps, her most favourite city.

She went in a car ride with her friends. On the way, while the cold winds whipped through hair, she felt like a visitor, to experience and capture to what was a flashback to all that she had done and being there to experience it over again. It was a Deja Vu and felt her veins pump up with an excitement she had never felt before.Then she saw the power couple. The boy at the wheels and his girl next to him. A carefree symphony with a whiff of craziness. She enjoyed her music swaying her hand in the breeze. Right there, that music, those people did a magic of a kind.

The night unfolded into spilled secrets and real identities. It was an experience where she witnessed the sides of individuals when they were the most uninhibited and loud mouthed. It amused her to see the scenario pan out before her eyes. The twists in the night and switching sides. It was fascinating how people's demeanor changes and in the flow, how they tend to say their thoughts out loud.

She thought about it all after the night had ended and she only thought one thing that insecurities overflow, there is competition amongst people's thoughts process, there wants and needs. There is shift in curve in the personalities of people. Then again there is also true brotherhood and lots of love.

The people she met, all taught her one thing; Everyone's life is a journey with favourable and unfavourable circumstances. In this city, everyone knew everyone. They were all connected with an infinite rope. It was made with the smallest and biggest moments of the three years there.

With the chill of dawn, she fell into a deep sleep. She was happy to be back.

New Dimensions ..

2013-01-07T12:51:00.001-08:00

Halfway through that half smile,
I realised how half of my heart,
Now felt complete,
All I needed was that day,
That ride through the cold winds,
Shiver down my spine,
While I was whisked away into the night,
The eyes that gleamed,
I looked a little deeper and could see,
Intelligenc, naughtiness and life,
A spirit of a different kind,
When words which I read,
On the outside did surprise,
Although, in my heart I always knew,
What was brewing right before me,
A voice which rings in your head,
Even long after you've heard it,
Each time you recall it,
There's a vibe of passion to it,
So much of pure beauty,
Strummed through those strings,
It was like a religion of a parallel world,
Which seemed so self made and giving,
It was the kind of connection,
The kind we dint speak out,
Where everyday was beautiful,
If we met and laughed it out,
The condescending statements,
When left those still childlike lips,
It didnt hurt but, refreshing,
The cheek which you wanted to hate,
But, ending up laughing and only loving,
Through the music around,
The eyes spoke what nothing else could,
When the time stopped,
But, it sure wasnt love,
It was a respect, a mutual understanding,
It left me confused and happy,
Crusading through the roads,
Ending up in new places,
Talking and sharing,
It all of a sudden felt new,
Things happened and done,
They were not spoken about,
They weren't erased either,
Its the comfort of being yourself,
Not being judged,
It wasn't about regret,
Just in the moment,
Small gestures here and there,
Seemed so very nice,
When you can shout,
Cry like the world's ended,
Throw tantrums and still be tolerated,
If nothing comes out of,
What you really wanted,
Just grab a beer and,
Take everything in a new direction,
Those are the small little things,
That make the day,
Through the mirage of the world,
Only and only those moments,
Which are unadulterated and from the heart,
Seem and make you feel perfect.

Walking Friendship's Miles ..

2012-12-05T13:55:00.000-08:00

Work at college has just ended,
I walked to the famous hangout,
Called up the one person,
I most wanted to see and hear out,
I dialled the number and waited a bit,
Finally, the call was picked,
My friend has just finished the gym,
Let me take a bath, ill be there in a bit,
I waited as I spoke to a few people,
In anticipation of my friend,
The arrival brought a smile on my face,
Together we walked into the night's face,
Speaking of days we had missed out on,
Laughing at the stupidity we all had done,
Discussing the good and bad of life,
About editing people out of my life,
My friend said, it still bothered me,
I have changed in a way I retorted,
Believe me, I know you too well,
I said, maybe we have to rewind and refresh,
We then laughed light heartedly,
Hand in hand we walked a little silently,
Distance hardly seemed a hinderance,
We walked without realising the time,
Words have an easy flow,
No pretence plays the time,
After long did we simply let go,
Not caring who'd come and go,
Relishing the moment that was there,
Making friendship's silent vows,
In our hearts we know it for sure,
We will be there for each other through and through,
After the these three years,
After all the world's fight,
We'd still hold on whats dear,
For each other we'll always be here.

Note:- My dear friend,
Pune is a better place with you here. It is bearable and honestly, I do not have any reason to complain any more. You mean a lot to me and your friendship, I hold it close to my heart. I promise to always be there for you, no matter what.

Much Love

The Girl Who Moved On...

2012-12-02T13:16:00.000-08:00

Away from the cocoon of her family,
Away from the love of the close ones,
Stepped a girl all of seventeen,
Into the new mysterious world,
Its a journey worth living,
Its a bliss and a new experience,
Its a mirage they forgot to mention,
Its just a facade they forgot to convey,
She walked into the calm waters,
Hardly expecting a storm,
She treaded till a distance,
Until she almost drowned,
She fought because she was strong,
She was persistent just like when she was back home,
The waters washed away her spirit,
Filled her lungs with salt and misery,
Breath was shallow and hard to take,
Until she thought she'd give up,
Her mother's words rang in her mind,
Her father's faith gave her hope,
She finally swam across,
With a determination at peek,
She wandered a little deeper,
The forest beckoned her at every step,
The green seemed too alluring,
But, hid a bitter truth,
The warm hearts were too good to be true,
The words seemed like gold,
The world felt like a cocoon again,
Until all hell broke loose,
Hearts were crushed,
Words were spoken too loud,
Hurt was the only motive,
To crush and walk upon,
Tears seemed to have dried up,
Cheeks had sunken in,
The body felt lifeless,
Like it was just brutally kicked,
Where truth and honesty were to reign,
Seemed like an agenda was brewing in the sidelanes,
Alliances were forged and broken,
Bitches barked and were forgotten,
Then a pair of caring hands held,
The heart and mind in place,
Supported the weak, uncertain steps,
To believe and never again regret,
Life was edited off the unwanted,
Because they were too unimportant,
Life was taking course on the set path,
Trying not to make the mistakes again,
This girl she looked back,
Smiles, shrugged and carried walking on,
Life had just begun the show,
She was ready now to take on every moment,
She chose to close a chapter and begin a new one,
She was the girlwho moved on ...

My Day ..

2012-08-05T17:46:00.000-07:00

I looked outside my window,
The night fading away,
The morning rising in poise,
And there I was typing away,
A million thoughts ran,
Through the tracks of my brain,
My heart pumping with extra vigor,
In wait of something of which I wasnt aware,
This morning was different than the rest,
I knew it and I could feel,
It sunk right into my bones,
It tickled me from within,
It brought onto me,
A different dawn of light,
My face lit with a memory,
My heart alight from the core of my being,
The fire was of winning,
The heat of being ready,
The veins pumped out of my skin,
My new day had begun,
I knew it was right,
I knew it was my time,
A time of glory was not too far,
A cocoon of love engulfed,
A shield of blessing hele me,
An angel of hope kissed me,
I urged myself to walk,
To walk into the new day,
Let the first ray sink into my pores,
To embrace and take on the world,
A new day, A new life it was,
Something I had never felt before,
It was my calling,
It was MY day.

The Other Side ..

2012-08-05T17:29:00.001-07:00

Slowly I ran into the light,
To the place I know not of,
A probable dream that awaits,
Or a block where i'll tumble and fall,
I looked around beyond the land,
I saw what my eyes could never see,
Of a thought it had grown,
Into what I thought was a dream,
I knew such things dint happen,
It seemed so surreal,
I was fighting with my knowledge,
Of what is and what I was witnessing,
The materialistic never intrigued me,
The finer nuances called out to me,
The winds they share their secrets,
The flowers pass smiles at me,
A dogs lick makes me scream with delight,
A bird's flight ignites me from the inside,
The flow of water beckons me,
To move on and never regret,
To embrace everything in the way,
To take each day as it is,
A mother's words teaches me,
To forgive and impart selflessness,
A father belief instill in me,
Encouragement and sense of responsibility,
How the world turns out to be,
No one can ever predict,
To walk what one believes in,
Is the only thing we can be,
Forgive and forget the past,
Never be on the extremes of things,
Be grateful for all that you possess,
Be thankful for everyday.
Life is too short to complain about,
Lilfe is too beautiful to let go,
Just smile and you'll know,
Just believe and you'll feel,
Your life completely transforming,
From mere existence to actual living.

Human Beings? ...

2012-02-22T15:20:00.000-08:00

I belong to a cynical world,
Where smile are misinterpreted,
I belong to a sadist world,
Where tears are celebrated.

I know people who care,
I know people who dont,
I know some will hold you,
While most will only throw.

I know love of a mother,
I know that of my father,
I know the love of my family,
I want to know no more.

I feel the pain around,
I breathe in the happiness,
I cant close my eyes to the wrong,
I cant speak false words.

To choose whats right,
To ignore the wrong,
To do only the best,
To walk with the head held high.

I know conflict,
I know confusion,
I know what an empty mind does,
I know what creativity does.

I believe in destiny,
I also believe in harwork,
I believe luck exixts,
I know what a blessing does.

I have a crazy temper,
I can love like a doting wife,
I cry like its all over,
I smile because I feel its divine.

I maybe a diplomat,
I may also be a hippocrat,
I am what the world demands,
Though,in the core of my heart I'll alway be me.

I sleep in my ma's lap,
I love piggy backs,
I love speaking like a baby,
I love the stupid crazy things.

I watch the flowers bloom,
I watch the birds asleep,
I listen to the leaves rustle,
I believe in the music it creates.

I believe in the power of sound,
I believe in the impact of words,
I have seen the scars of action,
I believe there should be wisdom

I forgive and forget,
Am just plain normal
Maybe a lil hyper,
is that abnormal?

I make mistakes and learn,
I make a point and contradict myself,
Not, that am too unitelligent,
I am being a human.

I do talk and gossip,
I admit when am wrong,
Wont stand crap when blamed,
Something I wasnt even aware of.

Am not looking for perfection,
It can never be,
For perfection is a state of mind,
oh!well,we all know about Human Beings

Conflicting Yet At Peace

2012-01-17T03:02:00.000-08:00

Am living in a place,
where my heart doesnt want to be,
waking up every morning,
wishing,it was only a dream.
I still go to the place,
where am supposed to be,
My heart calls for more,
A wait,it has to be.
I meet the people who make me happy,
I walk along wishing something would be different,
The crowd is all around me,
Yet,it feels so alone,
Meet the right people,they say,
how do I figure out,they forgot to tell,
Dont trust just anyone,they say,
Whom to trust,they forgot to say,
I sit watching everyone pass by,
some wait and say a hi,
I have forgotten what it feels like,
to be comfortable and adjust,
its a long gone feeling,
treasuring a few cherished moments,
a smile that was swept off,
the tears that kept rolling down,
the heart that kept yearning,
I knew,I believed,
I looked and I could see,
the dreams that I wanted to be,
something beyond surreal,
something that only thoughts can be,
hold me,take me away,
speak to me and let me know,
you are and will be,
right here where you are meant to be,
I then opened my eyes,
woke up from my sleep,
smiling to myself knowingly,
a dream that soon will be a reality.

Living It Up ..

2012-01-03T12:52:00.000-08:00

Never could I run away .. never could I embrace

Was I too naive or was I just too scared?

I took each step with ease,

But,in the end I let it be,

Kicked it off strong and nice,

lost my nerves when the end arrived,

Wondered on what I was holding on,

Would it give away or will I get a new life?
I ran I ran,I ran too hard,
not looking behind or who I passed,
It was a road that was leading on,
It was the path I was looking for,
Life aint about destiny,
Its about what we make out of it,
If you're not happy,
Then pretend and you will see,
That on the seventh day you will be,
No more thoughts,no more wandering,
living it straight,no crap talking.

Mirror Of Emotions,Ripples Of Water

2012-01-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

the moves of the water,just like our life..

I was sitting on a rock,
away high above,
looked down and my breath caught,
when I looked at the water,
it looked so still,
almost surreal,
like a mirage in my eyes,
almost my imagination,
I took a stone,
I threw it far,
it plopped on the water,
it later drowned,
I smiled at a thought,
the ripples smiles with me,
like the water reflected my heart,
like they read my mind,
I threw another stone,
doing away the pain,
I had the silent tears,
the ripples imitate,
I sat for hours,
how long,I couldn’t tell,
long in a puzzle,
life had set in,
trying hard to conclude,
the frown on my forehead,
I plopped another stone,
the ripples imitated my mood,
I then laughed at myself,
how complicated I was,
naïve like a kid,
yet,a grown up at heart,
a memory with friends,
sent me into peals of laughters,
I threw a stone in all happiness,
the ripples were my alies,
they laughed with me,
seemed like my best friends,
accepted me how I was,
never questioned,
never complained.
they moved like the music I played,
paced fast with the beats,
or hung on slow,
when it was a lullaby,
the winds played with them,
seduced the ripples as they went,
tortured them like a lover,
played like best friends,
I watched amused,
I wondered and smiled,
the water was my mirror,
the mirror to my heart and mind,
I felt my emotions,
it portrayed it live,
swayed with the intensity,
it gave them the life,
it created a lil life of its own,
with the happiness and sadness,
which came and went,
the people who become a part of it,
the people who come and go..
I sat there watching,
long after the sun had set,
the waters had again become still,
I then realized,my thoughts were also at rest .

I wait ...

2012-01-01T06:45:00.001-08:00

The winds sweep in through my window,
I see that beautiful smile,
It rummages through my hair,
it makes go all crazy and wild.
I dance like I have never before,
I see the moonglight,
lighting up my world,
I know for once it was all true.
I look out and see nothing,
I look around and see everything,
I hear the music play and it sways me,
I trip on the lights and they make me crave,
A solitude I had let go off,
an inhibition I had turned off,
I thought it could be different,
I believe this what I was looking for.
The green in the light,
The people who mean to me,
couldn’t satisfy a need,
I needed something way beyond.
I knew I was loved,
I knew I was special,
I somehow had forgotten it for a while,
But,then you had come along.
Those glassy brown eyes,
That caring look behind the look,
You loved being hated,
But,I loved you all along.
Seemed so mystical,
A story I wanted to know,
I walked and walked and searched,
All I saw was a dead end.
You,I made my life,
you,I lived for,
to see you smile,
To show whats life.
I know I loved those words,
those silences which I never knew of,
I looked back and saw you,
but,long before you were gone.
Stay there,hold on,
am there waiting,
To tell you whats love,
to tell whats life.
hold on tight,believe in me,
stay right there.dont go away,
the winds just blew in,
I’ll make them my poetry.
just for you,your smile,
just like a lil child’s,
I miss it,I want to see,
that you are mine now and forever.

Fresh ..

2011-12-31T15:13:00.000-08:00

I stood across the field,
I looked beyond what eyes could see,
I felt the cold breeze,
sweep my heart away from me.
I closed my eyelids,
I smiled like a child,
I thought about the times,
I rejoiced in my mind.
I shivered from head,
It moved down to my spine,
I hugged myself close,
The winds felt divine.
I felt so alive,
like a fresh blossomed rose,
I felt so loved,
Like I rested in my lover's arms.
I knew life is good,
Its all worthwhile,
small moments of happiness,
Long days if life.
I smile cuz I know,
I love cuz I feel,
I laugh cuz I hate to cry,
I live cuz thats how its supposed to be

Unexpected but,am loving it :-)

2011-12-30T10:22:00.000-08:00

cuz friendship is beautiful .. :-)

Sometimes life plays funny,
unexpected how you meet some people,
so totally random at even more random places,
you start talking and voila!
they are your great friends,
you talk and talk,
you text and text,
you meet and laugh,
share your part of life with them,
one day you meet another person,
all of you sit for dirnks,
sht happens and everyone forgets,
but there is a bond where is already there,
the talks then become intense,
starts from how it was,
it then coems to how it is,
the problems faced,
the people you have met,
some good memories,
some creepy nightmares,
you share the laughs of good times,
you cry tears of the bad,
you speak like there is no past,
you speak like they are the hope,
you speak of love and fantasy,
you talk cute and crazy,
you meet each and everyday,
you share a precious moment each day,
you do a character rip out,
you trip on each other's words,
most of the times the silence speaks,
for the rest,the words do it all,
yes,we make the bucket list,
to go back in time and live,
be a joyful kid again,
live the life that we forgot.
tradegies and heartbreaks,
been through it all,
you smile and you know it,
its going to be fine after all,
we have playful fights,
kicking and punching,
all the crazy times,
all the stupid talking.
stalking and spying,
complimenting and modesty,
red lipsticks and OMGoshing!
taunting for the fun of it all,
A hand you know that will hold on,
a shoulder you know you can cry on,
its all so mutual,
its like looking at the mirror on the wall,
there was the love triangle,
there was an understading,
there was admiration,
there was never ending smiling,
a few beautiful moments,
many many eventful hours,
many memories in a short while,
I hope to have it all along.
Friends,so close to my heart,
like i have known you forever,
I look at you and i feel,
this has been there all along.
It will go on I know,
Nothing can defy it,
not even the worst storm,
not even as the darkness falls.
its plain sunshine,
its friendship and trust,
its respect and support,
that had been missing since long.
I thank,I pray for all that I have,
I believe and it will be,
A part of my life till the end .

P.S- the people whom its about will know it :-)
*hug*

Ma :)

2011-12-30T03:08:00.000-08:00

You are my everything.

Mothers!epitome of beauty,devotion,hardwork,love,care and endless sacrifices.My mom is all of that and more. I love her but,I try not to show it too much.Why?because she starts giving me too many kissies all over my face! :-| She wont leave me only after that!
So,I have spent many years in conflict with her,always thinking that she never understood me or wouldn't let me dow hat I wanted to but,i eventually realised that she was too scared too lose me to the world.I used to be very rebellious and would oppose everything she said. I hardly paid any heed to her words,"bhashan" as I would call it. I fell hard,way too hard and then realised what all she had once told me.It all came rushing back into my head and I loved her more than my life ever since.
To me,Ma is like an angel with those deep brown almond eyes beautifully outlined with kajal and a smile as powerful as the sunlight. She is my guiding light in the dark.My support when am handicap.Love that am never deprived of. A strength that always keep me going.A hand which always blesses me. A lady of self confidence,intelligence and radiant beauty. She is like the summer breeze who when enters a home brings in so much freshness with her.
Back at home in Delhi,I remember,she would wake me up with a kiss on both cheeks and her hand over my head murmuring words of prayer and blessings.I used to be usually awake by then but,I used to pretend to be asleep and smile mildly so she wouldn't know.She smelled of my favourite cranberry body wash and johnson baby talc and her hands as soft as a cotton ball.She would pester me to eat,to eat well and be concerned always about what I wore.The reason I threw tantrums were only because I knew she would pamper me and make me eat with her own hands,pick my clothes for me and smile at me lovingly.
Memories from my childhood which make my day even now are the ones where she would plait my long tresses every morning and send me to school. If ever I was upset,she would call me fondly and feed me my favourite paranthas laiden with dallops of butter.*sigh*
Now am pune and am 18,living alone in the hostel with no mommy to look after.. no one to make sure my laundry is done,that I have eaten on time or simply that everything is perfect. Her perfect is almost annoying but,it doesnt cease to surprise me all the time.I miss hugging her and going off to sleep in her lap,getting my hair oiled by her and being nagged about the smalled of things.
People say,I have her eyes.It makes me feel so beautiful and proud.My Ma has given me my gift of writing and music.She inspires me everyday to live my dreams and not stop until you have reached the very point you wanted to.To think big,Do big and Be big.She never says it but,I know she misses me every single moment.From the time she leaves home to go to school till the time she sleeps at night. Talking about night,I remember how she would call me on my phone while am sitting in my room just to go to her room and switch off the lights because she is already tucked! hehe ..cutie my ma is.
She sleeps like a lil baby with her lips slightly apart and a faint smile on her face.She glows even when she sleeps!She sings to herself when she cooks and my! my! what a joy it is to watch her sway in sync with the swivle of the serving spoon.
I love my ma too much.am sure you guys do too but,am just a lil too overcome with emotions today so I love my ma more! :-D If ever I can become half as awesome a person as her,I'd feel like I have achieved almost everything in life.
Ma,you are my reason to life,my reason to stay here even though I want to quit,a reason to stand strong and win the battle,my blind faith in this demented place,part of my soul which makes me strive to be a better person each day and Smile because I have seen you do it through the trying times and come out wise and happy.
I love you Ma! Thank You for being the best mother in the world! *tight hugg* *lots of kissies*
I Miss You.
I promise I will make you Proud :-)

The Dark Moment

2011-12-29T01:09:00.000-08:00

That one moment when,
you feel you are sinking in,
deep in the depths of yourself,
when evrything around seems pointless,
the reasons to life cease to exist,
when every person walking by,
seems to be gorging in,
when the surroundings seem to be closing in.
when the heart takes too much effort to beat,
when your lungs feel tight as you breathe,
when everyone seems to be against you,
when the time seems to be running away from you.
Smiles seem to tuff to bring,
the hands are left cold and pale,
feels like you are searchign a way out,
from a deepset dark tunnel,
into the brightness of the world.
when you want to cry,
but,even the tears are reluctant,
when you want to speak,
you find no words to convey,
when all the lovely memories,
flood back in from the past,
when all the joyous moments,
cut like a knife through the heart,
but,nothing helps fill the void.
when you say,'let go',
when all you want is peace,
all you want is a reason to smile,
a reason to be free.
it springs up from the grave,
setting the emotions away,
A look of deparation,
A silent sweet prayer,
Someone uncover the blanket of darkness,
to lead me unto the path I seek,
to rise again from the place of the dead,
To live a life and to be me.

The Sucker Of Life

2011-12-28T04:18:00.000-08:00

am curved on the sides,
edgy towards the end,
I make you smile,
I make you blush,
I eventually turn you to dust.

I make you want to hug,
steal a kiss or more,
I makes your eyes,
Go all puppy doggy types,
Eventually,I stab you hard.

oh!my honey,my baby!
ya!ya!the cute cuddly words,
I make you hold hands so tight,
even the air cant pass by,
Then I make you flow away in sweat.

The lovely dates,
moon watching and star gazing,
I even make a poet out of you,
I make you dance crazy,
Eventually make you fall hard.

I am the reason,
for the sweet lovey dovey messages,
walk past that person,
and turn crimson red,
eventually i suck the life out of you.

I make you live a fairytale,
The adorable gifts and all,
the sweet love making,
the scenes of PDAs,
eventually I get you to the ground.

I make you brag and boast,
the love bites and soar lips,
The tingly feeling down the spine,
the happy happy smile,
Eventually,I make you cry.

I walk into your life,
make you feel special and nice,
Then I walk away,
Without a reason and with questions,
To which I never reply,
Eventually,I am just a lie.

You cant do without me,
you cant do with me,
You need me,
you hate me,
Its all about me.

I laugh,I laugh like crazy,
Laugh in your confused face,
you thought i was all beautiful,
but,my friend,am a sadist,
all you people call me LOVE.

and all i do is laugh at your fate ..

hahahhaha!

An emotionful and emotionless person

2011-12-28T03:54:00.000-08:00

dont make life an illusion

At the end of the time,
all thats ever going to be there,
all that you can ever call yours,
Is the solitude and self love,
the tides of time makes you meet,
the scenes of life will get you to a point,
where you will call someone yours,
DONT be dellusioned,
pause and give it a thought,
wait and let a few moments pass by,
then try and look around,
who is really there?
If someone is cuz you mean something,
if someone is cuz you are special,
if someone is cuz you are beautiful,
if someone is cuz you deserve,
but,for how long?
someday,we all will wilt away,
become ashes and combine,
with the truth of life,
am not talking of death,
am not talking of loneliness,
I speak of the day turning into night,
the lava which has the fire,
but,eventually cools away,
damages done and sorted,
life lived and fulfilled,
A stagnant point,
where you need to think about yourself,
that day,you will be alone,
thinking,screaming,crying,smiling,
loving,lost,content,
a life of a temporary stand,
yes,am contradicting,
just the way life is,
the waves that carry you,
to an unimaginable place,
the earthquake which,
bring you back to reality,
live,my friends,
love,my friends,
cry,who cares,
be who you are,
let nothing hold you back,
not a person,
A god damn situation,
A feeling noone else will understand,
LIVE! for yourself,
THEN for someone else..

A Reason I Can Survive :)

2011-04-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

My baby sis,my angel,my cutie pie, my talent ka pitara. Love You <3

You truly are to me,
God's beautiful gift,
How you smile,
How you talk,
How every word of yours,
Makes me live,
Your place in my life,
Is uncomparabe,
You are ever so irreplacable,
You are like and angel on earth,
My kid sister,
Whom I irrevocably love,
My life would surely be incomplete,
If it weren't for your serene presence,
God knows am happy,
God knows I thank him each day,
For bringing you to me,
For making me realise,
Blood bonds are not the only bonds we have,
Sometimes there are relations far superior,
Far more beautiful,
So pure and untouched,
They seem almost surreal,
But,you my sis,
Are the apple of my eye,
I love you too much,
I will be what you desire of a big sis,
I will be your best friend,
I will be the guide you would want,
I will be the support you would look out for,
I love you with all my heart,
You mean to me more than life.

FOREVER & ALWAYS YOURS
DI <3 :)

A sweet escape,A dream, A reality

2011-03-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

Walk to your inner destination ..

If only there was an escape,
If only we could see,
If only the lights shone brighter,
If only we'd believe,
There is a hope so high,
There is a strong desire,
In every being,
To overcome and be the best.
If only we'd keep silent,
If only we sit and realise,
If only we look inside of us,
If only we close our eyes,
To see another world,
Thats capable of everything,
Making it easy for us to achieve our goals.
If only we stop to analyse,
If only we took out time,
If only we saw the good,
If only we hugged ourselves,
We'd know this place aint that bad,
We'd know its not too sad,
Its how we look at it.
If only we dint believe in flamboyance,
If only simplicity played,
If only we walked the right way,
This world's a far better place,
To smile at the smallest of things,
To do and never regret.
Lets take out some time,
Be with ourselves,
Discover a phenomena,
Feel the cosmic change,
Drown deep in what we feel,
Sail through our inner being,
To know the nuances we long lost,
To be what only dreams can be ...

Reach out to your escape .. know yourself and never look back ..

The Better Of Me

2011-02-07T00:21:00.000-08:00

there was a time when I was still seeking that unexplored part of me ..
a journey well travelled :)

Life was never a tiresome journey ...
I could walk and walk and never stop..
Each day to learn a new theory ..
Each incident a lesson learnt ..
With the good and bad ..
the loving and the hating..
The pain and suffering...
the joys that kept me smiling ..
something would try hard enough..
to crush a soul ..
under the feet of destruction..
that taught me the better of life..
to simple nod and walk ahead..
I caught myself up in emotions ..
Also a few things of which I had never dreamt ..
I could not stop anymore ..
Had walked too far ahead ..
I did think to slow down for once ..
But, what if I could never pick up pace, again?
I would simply close my eyes and move on ..
Knowing a better part of myself ..
Did I tread too long living for others?
Did I see myself dependent?
Did the sense of reason run out of me?
Did a part me fade away?
I couldnt have have known ..
until a strength walked passed..
looked back and passed a peaceful smile ..
held my hand ...
it led me on ..
That was a touch of love ..
there was a certain warmth ..
there was a certain charm and protection ..
I knew then nothing could go wrong ..
I learnt to introspect ..
I learnt to keep quiet ..
I learnt to observe the good and worse ..
And react when required ..
It was a motivation ..
It was a driving force ..
Life seemed to be mocking me once ..
It seemed to be applauding me next ..
Such irony when you find a precious gem ..
when all could walk over were slippery pebbles..
Thats when I questioned ..
thats when I seeked ..
I was on a lookout ..
To find a different side of me ..
I closed my eyes and listened ..
To the music in everything ..
I learnt to trust something without questioning ..
because that someone knew a better part of me ..

cuz it made me live .. made me think ..made me realise who I am <3 <3

Not Just Another Moment

2011-02-04T07:19:00.000-08:00

To know a thousand things,
to judge them through the times,
to look around and find,
finally what matters.

Through every nook and corner,
Through every tear and smile,
All the darkness that gripped,
But,eventually its mine.

That joy which numbs me,
That stare which ceases,
The rhythm of my breath,
and my heart beat.

I could savor the moment,
I could stop the time,
I could just stand there,
and say its all mine.

Waited too long to feel,
too see the same ,
To whisper the same words,
that made me live.

Undying was how it was,
distances never did grow,
left behind my reasons,
to start it all new.

I walked over those memories,
I walk ahead to make new,
I look behind at all those tears,
and now the smiles that are new.

Oh!it has all washes away,
time taught me the better of it,
I grew in what i felt and my thinking,
this is a new time and new age.

I look back to what was,
Now,I cant regret,
Am starting a new life
This is not just another moment ......