Articles

Wicked Pleasures - Anal Sex

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 14:00:00 GMT

Have you ever had a desire to try anal sex? Man or woman, this is probably something that has crossed your mind at some point, but you may have decided it to be a little on the wild side for you!

It is probably a reasonably easy trip for a male, but for women it may be much more daunting. Women who have made the leap to anal sex will tell you that the anus is very sensitive and stimulus in that area can be extremely magnified. When anal sex is well done it can be really enjoyable and an intensely sensual experience, however an inconsiderate man can make the experience for the woman very bad!

Some women are attracted to anal sex because it is considered a kind of taboo act. Sexual history has created a mentality that is predominantly "straight", where penis-vagina sex is considered healthy and acceptable and anal sex is considered "dirty". However a lot of women would agree that "taking it up the butt" can be a deliciously naughty experience!

A lot of women are intimidated by the thought of anal sex because they fear it will be painful, and it certainly can be if they are not well prepared for it. However, with proper lubrication and penetration they may find it to be very erotic. The anus must be very relaxed before penetration, so loosen it up with a well lubricated and suitable dildo or finger before trying the real thing.

Some women may be quite self conscious about their image and sexuality and may be afraid of experimenting, let alone enjoying anal sex, and may feel that the act will turn them into a "slut". This, and other misgivings may mean that a couple will never indulge in the experience, which is a pity really, as any sex is good sex if it is done well!

If you are curious and want to give it a try it is best if the subject is openly discussed and the man understands any misgivings his partner has. Is she afraid of it hurting? is she afraid that she will be degraded in her partners eyes? The man can overcome some of the trepidation by allowing the woman to penetrate him first using a dildo or a finger to show her that the experience is not necessarily uncomfortable and that he is willing to take it as well as give it.

Life is for living and every experience is worth it.........

Bullets and Eggs Defined

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 11:39:00 GMT

These days, women are looking for new ways to pleasure themselves. Sometimes a vibrator or a dildo can be a little bit “full on” for us. If you are in search for something that provides a more subtle touch and feel, then a vibrating egg or a bullet might be the sex toy for you.

What is an egg?

Just to set the record straight, bullets are technically categorised as eggs, but because people failed to connect the dots, retailers decided to create a whole new category for them. Eggs are adult massagers manufactured in the shape of an egg or a bullet. They generally measure less than 10 centimetres in size and comfortably fit in the palm of your hand. The majority of the bullets and eggs on the current market come equipped with vibrating motors that will just about rattle your bones if you turn them on full blast.

Adult toy manufacturer, Doc Johnson has been leading the charge with an extensive range of vibrating eggs made from everything from silicone to plastic. In fact it is probably safe to say that the average sex toy “consumer” would feel a little boggled by the gigantic range of stimulators that you can find on the internet. Some have one vibrating device and some have two. Some have a controller and some have just one “on/off” button. Some are shaped like a bullet, and some are shaped like a flying saucer. So it is pretty difficult to make a decision on which is the best one for you.

Personally I prefer the bullets because they can be inserted. Just be mindful that they are only small so you can lose them down the deep dark abyss, and let me tell you that they are not fun to retrieve. The vibrating bullets generally have a more focused vibration that you can point directly at the clitoris or outer labia. That is not to say that the traditional shaped vibrating eggs don’t feel good, but they definitely cast a wider net. Orgasm generally takes longer, but when it does happen it is usually extremely explosive.

Can I share my egg with my boyfriend?

Yes, of course. Bullets are a great way to stimulate a man. Use the egg to gently stimulate the scrotum and the area between the scrotum and the anus. This creates a soft vibration that stimulates the p spot or “male g spot”. You can also use the device on the end of the penis. Either way these adult toys make a perfect tool for foreplay.

Can I use an egg to stimulate my anus?

Generally only the bullet shaped eggs can be used to stimulate the anus as the egg shaped devices aren’t designed to fit into tight spaces. In this case I would probably recommend buying a vibrating butt plug like an I-Plug or a Joy Toy 9. There are many anal probing devices that would feel better and be more suited for anal exploration.

How much should I pay for an Egg?

A decent vibrating egg will cost you anywhere from $24 up to $150 for a Lelo product. It can be worth spending the extra money for an egg that will last you a long time, but I recommend starting with the lower end of the range to get a feel for things before breaking the bank.

How do I clean a bullet or Egg?

It is a MUST to clean your product immediately after using it. Every adult toy requires a special sanitary regime whether it be “soap and water” or toy cleaner and a dry cloth”. Click here for more information about cleaning your sex toys.

Australian Sex Stories - Brisbane Caught with my Pants Down

Thu, 27 May 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Each week every-day Australians send me stories about their sex lives. Some are funny, some are raunchy, but one thing that they all have in common is that they are entertaining. Here is one that was sent to me recently. I hope you enjoy it.

Hey Shannon,

My very embarrassing story is set in Brisbane, Australia.

Well it was an awesome Spring Sunday morning in South-East Queensland. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, it was boiling hot, and my girlfriend Maddy and I were stuck at home with nothing to do. We had both spent the last couple of weekends at home studying for our uni exams, so we decided that there was no way that we were going to miss out on getting outdoors on a day like this.

So we quickly slipped on some clothes and hopped on the mountain bikes. I only live about 10 minutes from Mt Cootha so I thought that it was only fitting that we take the bikes to the tracks at the base of the mountain to do some trail riding. Anyways, we start out on our ride and in no time at all we are peddling around the scenic track at the base of the mountain. The track was bustling with other cyclists, strollers and exercise fanatics at the time.

It’s no big secret that the constant vibrations from the bike seat can make you horny as hell and after about 10-15 minutes on the track, my girlfriend and I really started to get antsy. I looked across at Maddy and saw the faint outline of moisture on the outside of her bike pants. At this stage I couldn’t tell whether it was just sweat, but when I looked at her face, I knew right away that it wasn’t.

Maddy signalled over to a small pathway that veered off to the right that looked a lot “travelled” than the path that we were already on, so we zoomed in as quickly as we could. Without a second thought I had stripped her naked, pulled my shorts down to my ankles and was smashing her from behind. We were already sweating from the ride so the pounding sound was echoing loudly off the trees around us. In my excited state I threw Maddy onto her back in a small bush and started jack hammering her in the missionary position.

Our passion quickly turned to shock when off into the distance we saw a small black Labrador running towards us in the distance with a man and a woman not far behind. We quickly scurried to our feet trying desperately to put our clothes back on but to no avail. Maddy barely got her sports bra back on while I struggled trying to get my shorts up, but before we knew it there they were…staring at our naked bodies and red faces. Because of the way that the pathway meandered through the forest, they were able to get extremely close before they actually realised what was going on, so they were basically a stone’s throw away, gazing at us in disgust.

“Derby! Derby! Come here Derby”, the woman screamed at the dog. The couple quickly made a 180 turn back towards the other direction repulsed by the site that they were just subjected to. At this point Maddy and I were pretty distraught by the whole ordeal, so we decided to call it a day, and we continued to put our clothes back on, when from the other direction we heard a noise. Looking at each other with a cutting glance we were able to apply the final pieces of clothing before a group of 3 male bike riders arrived behind us. Two of the riders would have been in their early 30’s and one barely 15 years of age.

Trying to hide my guilty face I glanced up at the guys and said, “How you going fellas? Nice day for a ride”. All three of them remained almost silent, nodding their heads and staring at the bush beside me. When the last of the riders whizzed past I looked down and saw Maddy’s wet panties sitting on the ground next to me.

Looking back on the experience, it is the most exciting thing that we have ever done. Since then we have graduated to safer and less embarrassing ways of pumping up our sex life. Maddy and I recently got online searching for quality sex toys. We ended up buying a Doc Johnson vibrator, a G vibrator and a Love vibrator which have all been a heap of fun. We are looking for a good dildo at the moment. Do you have any advice?

How to use a Rabbit Vibrator

Mon, 24 May 2010 12:04:00 GMT

The Rabbit Vibrator, also known as the Jack Rabbit, is a term used to describe dual function sex toys with a main shaft and a clitoral stimulator in one. They may look a bit like something out of a sci-fi movie, but are far from difficult to operate.

Using a Rabbit Vibrator is as simple as using a traditional vibrator that you are all used to, but with an added twist. First and foremost, you will need to read the instructions to see whether your new toy has any special functions, features or precautions that you need to know about. For example some toys do not mix well with certain types of lubricant. Knowing your sex toy back to front before you use it will ensure its longevity and your safety.

Remove the rabbit vibrator from its packaging and insert the batteries if applicable. If you are having issues with your batteries, always refer to the instruction manual section entitled “Getting Started”, “Operation” or the like. Next you will want to run your fingers across the surface of the entire toy to understand its texture (which may vary from place to place). Then use your thumb and index finger to squeeze the toy all the way up the main shaft and clitoral stimulator. Many rabbit vibrators have soft spots, usually where ball bearings or pearls lie underneath. The trick is to know the entire product before you insert it in your body so there are no surprises.

At this stage you might have determined what is meant to go where. You would be right in saying that the main shaft or the largest piece of the rabbit vibrator is meant to be inserted into the vagina whilst the smaller piece aptly named the “bunny” is intended for clitoral stimulation. Before you insert anything inside you, use the instruction manual to understand what every button on the control panel does. Knowing what to press when you are nearing climax might be the difference between a 5 and a 10 on the Richter scale.

By now you should know everything about the product bar what it feels like inside you, and don’t worry the fun part is coming (no pun intended) up very shortly. Before inserting your rabbit vibrator you need to make sure that you eliminate any chance of friction burn upon entry and anytime after that. In almost all cases you will have to apply a lubricant. You can choose from a range of water-based, silicone-based, oil-based or petroleum based lubricants – each has a different texture and feel. Spray 3 or 4 squirts of lube into the palm of your hand, and rub your hands together creating an even spread across your palms. Drape one hand down one side of the main shaft, and then use your other hand to spread an even amount down the other side of the shaft. Rub in evenly. Spray an extra squirt into your palm and use your index and middle finger to distribute over any dry areas including the bunny or clitoral stimulator. Wash your hands, and you are now set to go.

For further information on which lubricants to use on certain sex toys click here

Lay down flat on your bed or on a comfortable rug with your lower back slightly propped up with a pillow for optimum satisfaction. Hold the vibrator by the base (which is usually made from a hard plastic) in an upward facing palm. Use the tip of the shaft to stimulate your clitoris strategically inserting the shaft about half an inch to an inch into the vagina every 20 or 30 seconds. Continue this for about 10 minutes to ensure that you are aroused and relaxed. Once you are ready to really get into it, you can insert the shaft until the bunny ears sit firmly over the clitoris. Then using your knowledge about which buttons do what, simply switch the vibrator on or select the motion that you want to start with. Rabbit vibrators usually have a spinning shaft so that you don’t have to pull it in and out of your vagina. That being said if your toy only has a couple of settings, you may have to use your hands to move it around a little bit to heighten the arousal.

If at any point during masturbation, you feel friction or pulling, make sure to apply more lube. Adjust the settings on the control panel if you feel overwhelmed at any stage or just simply remove the toy from your vagina. If the bunny ears are a bit “full on” as many women are ticklish in this region, all you have to do is pull the toy away from the clitoris and apply in short bursts.

Once you are done with your rabbit vibrator, it is highly recommended that you use a toy cleaner and a clean cloth to wipe it down and disinfect it. This will promote good hygiene and the longevity of your sex toy. Remove the batteries and store for the next time you are feeling frisky.

Now you are well versed in using a rabbit vibrator, I think you should go away and give it a go. Happy Hopping!

G-Spotting

Sun, 23 May 2010 13:37:00 GMT

The discovery of the clitoris marked the dawn of a new age in sexual gratification, but finding the darn thing turned out to be harder than it looked. To this day men poke, prod and knuckle unsuccessfully at their partners nether regions, but to make things worse there is a new erogenous zone that is even more elusive than the clitoris. I hear many of you guys out there saying “Here we go again”, and to be honest you should be worried, because the G-Spot is a son of a B-I-T-C-H to find.

The G-Spot was discovered in the 50’s by a physician named Dr Ernst Grafenberg and made fashionable by sex experts and therapists in the 80’s. So it did take a long time to catch on, but mostly because there was so little plausible research done on the topic.

The G-Spot

The G-Spot is a bean shaped zone of skin and nerves located inside a woman’s vagina. It is generally found 1 – 2.5 inches upwards on the anterior wall of the vagina behind the pubic bone. It can be described as a grainy tissue like area of skin that is rougher than the surrounding area. Swelling of the G-Spot is considered normal during arousal or excess blood flow, which makes it considerably easier to find.

How do I find it?

My Mum always told me that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself and the same goes for the G-Spot. The better you get at finding it yourself, the easier it will be to teach somebody else to find it next time.

Start by purchasing a decent G-Spot vibrator or Probe. You will know they are purpose built for G-Spot stimulation because they will be crescent shaped or have a slightly angled tip. Lie down on your back on your bed or on the floor with your feet against a wall. If your feet are in the air, they are going to get tired pretty quickly. Slowly insert the sex toy into your vagina with the crescent or curved tip facing the belly-button side. Use the tip of the toy to rub the frontal vaginal wall, until you feel aroused. Remove the toy from the vagina, insert your middle finger and gently feel around for an area of skin that is inflamed and/or feels rougher than the surrounding area. That is your G-Spot. The first time you press on this area it may feel like you are urinating or need to urinate, but this is normal. This sensation is usually replaced by explosive arousal.

Once you have discovered where it is, play around with various methods of stimulation until you figure out what is good for you. Some people enjoy gentle vibrating stimulation that you would get from a sex toy and others prefer to use their fingers, both have a very different feel.

Your penis, my G-Spot

The penis is a great tool to stimulate the G-Spot. Why do you think God created penises with a slight bend? If the penis curves upwards and straight, it is ideal for G-Spot stimulation. During sex it will rub over the erogenous zone and stimulate it without having to do much more. Not all men are built with a perfectly shaped penis so you may have to adjust positions depending on whether his member faces north, south, east or west. In most cases they will only be slight adjustments, but will make an immense difference.

If you are still struggling to find your G-Spot try reading “The Smart Girls Guide to the G-Spot” by Violet Blue. It gives a straight forward look at different tips and techniques designed to stimulate the G-Spot.

Searching for the G-Spot is like a hunt for the Holy Grail. Its elusiveness is less than charming, but once you discover it you will be spellbound by what it has to offer. Don’t give up prematurely; it is worth every minute of the wait. Good Luck!

The Back Doors Open – A look into butt plugs

Wed, 19 May 2010 12:52:00 GMT

Now…this may not be an easy topic to discuss or admit to having an interest in so I applaud you for being brave! The bottom line is that butt plugs are the most misunderstood and under rated sex toy on the market today. Many underestimate the power of anal stimulation, brushing it aside as a mere fetish or novelty. But alas….you couldn’t be further from the truth.

Plugs present a magnificant approach to sexual exploration and change, whether you are gay or straight, whether for personal use or with a loved one – a fabulous way to initially explore the boundaries of anal sex.

What is a butt plug?

A butt plug is an anal sex toy usually manufactured in the shape of a triangle gradually growing in size towards the base. There are many variations to the standard butt plug, but most commonly they are around 5 to 10 cm’s tall and made from silicone or rubber for comfort. More recently retailers have introduced anal devices made from glass and even stainless steel in sizes reaching 20 cm’s tall and 8 to 10 cm’s wide.

How do I use butt plugs safely?

Butt plugs are a relatively safe adult toy, but it is very important to note that the skin around the anus is very sensitive and can be easily torn if you overdo it. So don’t go buying the biggest one in the shop the first time you are going to try it. Take it easy, and take your time. Trust me; you will thank me in the end.

First things first, have a shower and wash yourself thoroughly before you begin. Likewise, if you are going to involve a partner, make sure you are both washed beforehand. Hygiene is very important for mutual enjoyment. If you are a total clean freak, you can even go as far as to purchase toy cleaner which is generally applied before and after use. Make sure you have plenty of lube on hand to avoid unwanted friction during anal play. Depending on the type of lube you are using, spray a generous portion into the palm of your hand and rub your hands together. Apply onto the butt plug and using the tip of your index finger, apply to the outside of the anus.

Taking it very slowly, insert the skinny end of the plug into the anus. You should only use the first 2 or 3 centimetres in the first 10 minutes of use. This will allow ample time to get used to it. Gradually insert more and more until you or your partner has reached maximum satisfaction.

Get comfortable

It is important that you or your partner is in a comfortable position when using toys like this. Get it right the first time to save you having to wriggle around halfway through the act. I find that lying down face up with a small pillow under my lower back is the most relaxing.

Once you are more experienced you can try other positions such as kneeling over the top and sitting down over the butt plug, kneeling down and inserting it from behind or probably the most popular method of lying down on your stomach and inserting. All methods have different levels of penetration and can create a totally different feel.

How do I choose a butt plug?

There is no shortage of adult stores out there selling butt plugs, but be careful not to get roped into buying cheap or inferior products. Do your research first and buy from a reputable seller. If you are a beginner, I recommend you purchase an anal beginners kit or something around 6 to 8 centimetres in length and no more than 4 centimetres wide. It doesn’t matter what it is made of. Glass, silicone and stainless steel are all safe to use. In Australia you can get butt plugs for as cheap as $8 all the way up to $500, but experiment with the different styles and shapes before you go out and blow a week’s wages.
Butt plugs can add another dimension to sex and masturbation. No longer do you have to be a mask clad dominatrix to enjoy the world of pleasure that anal stimulation can provide. Open the back door, enjoy the variety and explore the possibilities.

Sex Toys for Men, Are you Serious???

Sun, 16 May 2010 11:47:00 GMT

Men aren’t complex beings. Most have clear, well defined preferences. Adult toys, for men, are simply a means to help relieve tension as opposed to women’s products which can be geared towards fun and foreplay. Toy manufacturers recognize and understand the difference and thus take function over form when creating new products for men. Some men’s sex toys are aimed at enhancing confidence and can be really handy tools in providing the assurance that some men need to have a healthy sex life.

The most commonly used male sex toy is the male masturbator, commonly known as a stroker. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors, but all serve the same purpose at the end of the day. In their most basic form, they are a tubular silicone or latex structure, designed to simulate, surprise..surprise, a women’s vagina. They are very safe and easy to use and thus are becoming very popular with men that are looking for something a little more interesting than the trusty right hand.

Sex toys aren’t always designed specifically for pleasure sake. Enter the Cockring and penis extension. While penis extensions are generally made from silicone or rubber in order to replicate the feeling of skin for both parties involved, the cockring can come in many forms and in some instances with a different title. Cockrings, loverings, Cock and ball harnesses, cock straps and the list goes on. They all serve one basic purpose…to keep the captain standing tall. Manufacturers have been very creative recently introducing extra features such as clitoral and anal stimulators, which have been a huge hit with consumers that are always looking for something bigger and better. Extensions are a great way to add a little bit of length and girth every once in a while, but make sure the extension fits tightly onto the penis to avoid losing your tools down the mine shaft.

Erection problems and size insecurities can be devastating to a man’s confidence and thus the penis pump serves as one of the most widely purchased male sex toys on the market. Penis pumps are believed to promote blood flow to the penis resulting in longer lasting and larger erections. The penis is inserted into the tube or shaft of the device which has a rubber ring around the base. The user then pumps the air out of the top of the shaft through a suction thus creating a pressurized enclosure. The vacuum created expands the penis inside and reduces the amount of blood outflow. Whilst not backed by any scientific studies, the penis pump is backed by many satisfied customers worldwide. Care should be taken when using these sorts of devices as there have been reports of ruptured blood vessels due to prolonged use. Proceed with caution!

Probably the most controversial of the men’s sex toys would be the blow up doll. Those who have used them rave about them, but there are still a large number of men out there that still find the use of blow up dolls as a bit of a weird and unusual fetish. Blow up dolls are, as they are described in their name, a replica of a women that can be blown up to full human size. They usually come with 3 holes being the mouth, vagina and anus to give the user the choice depending on how they are feeling on the day. Commonly used for novelty gifts and bucks party gags, the modern blow up dolls may come with vibrating holes, depending on how much money you want to spend. In Australia, you can purchase a blow up doll for as low as $25 all the way up to $500 if you are looking for a girl with all the bells and whistles.

Male sex toys can be weird and wonderful, or just simply functional, but one thing is for sure…they add something different to masturbation and sex, that has become a routine or habitual act for many people. Try something new…you never know. You might like it!

Secretly Pleasure Yourself in Public with a Wireless Vibrator

Sun, 28 Mar 2010 23:00:00 GMT

For some people, there is a lot of excitement in keeping a secret. When that secret is the fact that you're experiencing tingles and heatwaves that would usually only emerge in the safe confines of the bedroom, that secret is even more 'exciting'! Technology has brought us an easy and budget-friendly way to create a secret for yourself (and partner, if applicable) in public ... the wireless vibrator.

Remote Control Vibes for Solo or Partnered Play?

It seems that most people prefer to use wireless vibrators as a partnered sex toy - a secret is much more fun when you have someone to share it with, after all. Some suggestions we've heard for places to use your wireless vibrator include:

At a restaurant
At a bar
Camping with friends
On a night out at the casino
Out while shopping

It is advisable to agree on a few ground rules before you use a wireless vibrator with your partner, though. Many reviewers of the product say they particularly enjoy switching on the vibrator that their girlfriend is wearing while she is interacting with people, or while carrying drinks. It's easy to see how one partner would think was funny, though the other may not! Talk about the ground rules beforehand to make sure you both have pure fun, without veiled annoyance.

Remote control vibrators can also be used for discreet solo pleasure in public. Why not try using your remote control panties or wireless vibrator:

On public transport
While eating lunch in the park
While out shopping

The Wireless Egg

The wireless egg is the most popular style of remote control vibrator. It can be worn internally or externally; each position has advantages and disadvantages. When you wear the wireless vibrator internally, it can be difficult to keep it up as close to your G-spot as you need it for maximum effect. Naturally, there is no clitoral stimulation. However, wearing a wireless egg internally is definitely the most silent option.

You can also wear a wireless egg just inside your panties - this is great fun in noisier environments like pubs and clubs, where you don’t have to worry about people connecting your slowly closing eyes and quickening breath with the faint buzzing noise they can hear in the background! If you actually want to come to orgasm in public, this is the most reliable method.

The Wireless Rabbit

The reputation of the Rabbit vibrator precedes it - it is often said to be the pinnacle of female pleasure! Now there are wireless versions of this popular style of G-spot and clitoral stimulator, and while it does a great job of making you weak at the knees in public, it also has its downsides. The wireless rabbit:

Often has a substantial protrusion past the insertable length. This can be a little uncomfortable when you are sitting down and moving around, and you will definitely need iron underwear to ensure that it doesn't push your knickers off completely!
Is more expensive than wireless eggs
Can be difficult to keep in position

If you are looking for quick thrills in the middle of a crowd, though, the wireless rabbit is a great choice.

Did you Know?

A former Apple executive, Suki Dunham, is set to release a wireless vibrator that connects to an iPod via wireless RF transmitter, and matches the intensity of its vibration to the music you like listening to. This model is certainly not as discreet as the standard wireless vibrators that are made for public use (indeed, it is designed to operate within 15 meters of an iPod docking station which you would have to carry around with you), but 'interesting' nonetheless!

I Want to Introduce Dildos into the Bedroom. Will My Boyfriend be Offended?

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 23:00:00 GMT

While the world in general, and men at large, are becoming much more open-minded, there is still a huge variance in individual opinions. There is a great likelihood that your boyfriend will be turned on, rather than offended, by you suggesting bringing a dildo or vibrator into the bedroom. However, if he's never been the adventurous type, you might need to manage the way you introduce the topic carefully. Today we run through a list of do's and don'ts for introducing a dildo into your sex life with your partner. The two of you will be buzzing away together before you know it!

If you want to introduce a dildo to the bedroom, you SHOULD:

Talk to him about it before you act on your wishes: While this is the 21st century, and women are certainly free to do whatever they like, it is respectful to involve him in a decision about something that is about the two of you together. You could make a suggestion to him while having sex about what you could be using a dildo for at that moment, or simply bring it up over coffee! Whatever suits your style.
Make sure your partner knows that you are satisfied with your sex life, and will be even without a dildo: Don't make your partner think that a dildo is a requirement to satisfying you. Let them know that they are enough for you, but you are curious about what the two of you together could experience with a dildo.
Look them up online first: This is a great way to explore what is out there in a relaxed and comfortable setting.
Check out pornos that show dildo play: This is a great way to both gauge his reaction to dildos, and get him interested in actually using one!
Really listen to what your partner has to say about dildos: If you run up against objections from your boyfriend, listen and be understanding. Don't take it as a personal attack, try to find a way to work through his objections.

If you want to introduce a dildo to the bedroom, you SHOULD NOT:

Buy it before you introduce it: This will only create mistrust with your partner - even if it is not true, they may believe that you've had it for a long time or have been using it without them. Being surprised isn’t usually a turn-on!
Make any hint or suggestion that you need a dildo because your partner isn’t up to scratch: Suggesting that your partner isn’t big enough for you, can't last long enough for you, or is inadequate in any other way will only make him feel insulted, not excited.
Ignore your partner once you get the dildo: Make sure that playing with the dildo (once you get to the part!), is a two-person job. Have him thrust it or tickle you with it … don't just get down to business with yourself and leave him in the lurch.

Introducing a dildo into your sex life could be one of the best things you've ever done. It can help women orgasm more reliably and quickly, and open up whole new fantasy dimensions. Take the first steps carefully, and you'll be well on your way to exploring new frontiers in pleasure!

When Did it Become So Hard to Choose a Lube? Tips on Selecting the Right One for You

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 09:41:00 GMT

Many of us don't start investigating the use of personal lubricants until we discover the joys of using sex toys. If you're like the majority of couples, you probably just let nature take its course, until latex entered the equation and your natural lubrication wasn't sufficient. If you've only recently discovered the range of personal lubricants that are available, you are probably wondering why there are so many different types and what purpose they all serve! Today we take you through the many ways that different types of lubricants can add to your sex life and/or personal masturbation.

Yes Lube, No Chafe!

The main reason for using a personal lubricant, across the entire range of sexual situations, is to increase sensation and pleasure. A slippery experience will tickle many more nerve endings than a painfully dry or tight sexual experience, obviously. However, there are several other good reasons why you should use a personal lubricant for sex:

Lack of lubrication is the main reason for condom breakage. If you use condoms for contraception, you should also have plenty of lube available. You don’t want any unwanted friends joining the party 9 months from now.
If you use adult toys, you probably find that more lubrication is needed to make them comfortable. There is nothing worse than trying to get a large piece of silicone in a dry entry way. Not only is it unpleasant on you but you might even wreck your precious sex toys.
Women may experience excessive dryness due to hormones, age, illness or medications. Personal lubricants can make it possible to have sex comfortably and pleasurably. Again, dryness is not a disease. It happens to the best of us. Don’t be afraid to break out the water based lube if you’re feeling the friction.

Water based lubricants

These are the most common type of lubes, and usually the lowest-priced. They are suitable for all sexual situations, and for most skin types. Water based lubricants can be flavoured, and are suitable for oral sex, and are safe for condoms and latex toys.

Some people complain about a sticky or dried-out feeling when they use water-based lubricants. The lubricant hasn’t actually been 'used up' - it can be reactivated with a few drops of water or saliva. Water-based lubes can also be cleaned up with soap and water.

Why choose water-based? If you use condoms as contraception, or simply want a nice thick lubricant that is cost-effective for everyday use, water-based is an excellent choice.

Who should avoid water-based lubes? If you like to play in the shower or bath, water-based lubricants won’t be useful. Also, in some women the glycerine used in water-based lubes can break down to simple sugars in the vagina, and facilitate the development of yeast infections. Women who are especially prone to yeast infections may want to use silicone or oil-based lubes.

Oil based lubricants

Whereas water-based lubricants can start feeling a little sticky, oil-based lubes are always slippery and sleek. They can be comfortably used over the whole body for massage as well as sex and masturbation, however they aren’t compatible with condoms. Oil-based lubes can stain sheets and fabrics, and you should check with your sex toy manufacturer if oil-based lubes are appropriate for use with the particular materials it is made from.

Why choose oil based? If you're planning on playing 'the ultra-extended party mix' of your usual song with your partner, oil-based lasts the distance without reapplication or reactivation.

Who should stay away from oil-based lubes? If you use condoms as contraception, oil-based lubes should be avoided.

Silicone-based lubricants

Silicone based lubes are relatively new in the sexual scene. In some ways, they combine the best of both the water- and oil-based worlds; yet they are certainly an experience unto themselves. They can be used with condoms, the residue will usually wash out of sheets, can be used in water, and a little silicone lubricant goes a long way. Often the reason people buy water-based is the price tag - however the smaller amount of silicone lube needed means that it is equally cost-effective. Be careful with silicone lube use in the bath - it makes all surfaces slippery.

Why choose silicone? If you use lubricant in a wide variety of sexual situations, including alone and with partner, in bed and in the bath, and for both body and genital massage, silicone lube is an excellent choice.

Who should stay away from silicone-based lubes? If you use silicone sex toys or realistic skin-feel toys, silicone lube isn’t suitable.

If you're looking to try out a personal lube for the first time, silicone is highly recommended for its versatility. However, each type is great for different situations - why not keep three little bottles in your bedside drawer?!

Fire up your Sex Life with Adult Toys

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 09:29:00 GMT

It can be easy to fall into a rut with your sex life, whether you currently have a partner or not. You end up using the same positions, taking around the same amount of time … and generally feeling comfortable, but perhaps not quite so passionate. If you recognise this pattern, and you haven’t yet tried using sex toys with your partner, now is the time to start experimenting! They say that couples who play together, stay together - this is true whether your play is public or private. Today we discuss how vibrators can give your sex life in general a buzz, and the possibilities of partnered sex with a vibrator.

Using a vibrator - the possibilities

Even women who've had a vibrator in their underwear drawer for quite a few years now sometimes don’t realize their full potential. They have the power to:

Increase your general sex drive, by accustoming your body to the arousal and orgasm process. The more you practice having orgasms, the better they get - and this goes for when you are only playing with your partner.
Open your mind to different pleasurable situations, which can be explored with a partner later on if you want.

And while vibrators are primarily designed for clitoral stimulation, there are plenty of other fun places for them to make their way to! Use them on your G-spot for a very different feeling to you what you may be used to in your orgasm. You can also use them on your nipples as a prelude to the main event.

Good vibrations - Using a vibrator with your boyfriend

The relationship issues surrounding bringing a vibrator into the bedroom are the subject of a whole other article ... we're just going to talk about the fun stuff here. If you are wondering about the logistics of how it will actually work, having sex with a vibrator present, here are some ideas!

Have sex doggy-style or spooning, and use the vibrator on your clitoris while having sex
Have your boyfriend use the vibrator inside you while he is licking you
Use the vibrator on yourself to give him a show, before he even touches you
If he comes before you, have him use the vibrator to make you come while your blood's still pumping
Use the vibrator anally, or use it inside you while you have anal sex with your boyfriend - so that you can experience double penetration. As a side note, you can buy vibrators specially designed for anal sex - these are recommended over the vaginal-designed models.

Good vibrations - Using a vibrator ON your boyfriend

This is one of the last great barriers in a modern sexual relationship. So many men are still afraid that liking anal (or prostate) stimulation makes them gay, that they are reluctant to try it. The sensitivity of anal tissue can compound the issues. Here are some quick tips for opening up a whole new sexual frontier, by having your boyfriend/husband have sex with a vibrator:

Go very slow the first time (and every time), and use a good store-bought lube.
Use the vibrator on a low or pulse setting to start with
Think about the fun it might be to buy a strap-on vibrator ... then the thruster can be come the 'thrusted'!

How to Use a Dildo

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 13:00:00 GMT

For some people, using a dildo comes as naturally as breathing. Others have learnt some things the hard way … but times are a changing… now we have the internet which provides a wealth of information about sex, all presented without euphemisms, whispers or embarrassment, about how to get yourself off and make yourself feel good.

It's all about you when you’re using a dildo. They have no hidden or personal agenda and they exist purely for your pleasure. If you've taken the big first step of buying a dildo, read on for how to get the most 'bang' out of it for your buck!

All by yourself
Hamlet said, 'To thine own self be true'. Following his advice with your new dildo can really help you enjoy it fully. There's always an element of discomfort when you introduce something new into your partnered sex life - getting yourself comfortable with it first, alone, can help ease that transition. Of course, partnering up with it can be a lot of fun later on.

Put on your maid's outfit - cleaning time
Spray 'n Wipe is good for benches - but not necessarily dildos. Many dildos are made of a porous material, and many cleaning products will seep into the material and cause decay over time. Check the instructions that came along with your sex toy before you use anything to clean it - just like real penises, each one is different.

Wet, wet, wet
Get yourself turned on before you shove that thing in there - the pulling of a dry dildo on sensitive vaginal skin can really kill the party. Your dildo will need its own lubricant as well - ask your sex toy shop which is best for the material it is made of. Experiment with different lubricants - they are not all the same. If you like things to be short and sweet, water based lubricant should be fine. Oil-based lubricant has the staying power for those long lazy afternoons, home alone.

For the love of rubber
Condoms make playing with your dildo much easier - easier cleanup and less wear and tear on your big boy. It's rubber anyway, so you'll feel little difference (and IT won’t know!).

Matching sex toys to their uses
There are different anal and vaginal dildos for a reason - those little holes are completely different! Anal dildos will have a flared base to stop them slipping into the rectum and are completely smooth - your anal skin is especially vulnerable to tears. If you want to use the same dildo for 'front and back' play, use a condom and change it each time you swap, for hygiene control. Gloves are also recommended for safe anal play with your fingers.

It ain't the size of the ship…
Past a certain minimum size, it is much more about what you do with the dildo than how it is shaped or sized. Experiment to find out what feels good for you.

Try things like:

Starting with just the tip of your dildo, sliding it in and out
Seeing whether deep, slow, fast or shallow strokes (or any combo) feels best
Twisting the dildo inside you instead of thrusting. No need to obey the laws of nature now!
Wiggling it up and down, or side to side, at a particular depth

Fantasy turns into reality
A dildo lends a huge amount of realism to your fantasies. If you don’t have any unfulfilled wishes sexually, think of the best sex you've had so far, and recreate it with your dildo. Alternatively, use a porno to give you some inspiration and ideas, and to base your fantasies around.

Above all, know that sex is something humans naturally do, and our brains are hardwired to like it. If your dildo gets you in a good mood for the day, enjoy that! If it gives your 'real' sex life a boost, why not? Relax about using it, and the possibilities will flow naturally.

An Introduction to the Kama Sutra for Sexual Bliss

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 13:00:00 GMT

If you have been exposed to popular culture at all over the last ten years, as soon as you think of the Kama Sutra, Sting is probably the next thing to enter your head. Not always a pretty combination! Fortunately the Kama Sutra is much more ancient than The Police's front man, and has quite a few interesting ideas to offer in the bedroom. And you don’t need to be an acrobat to enjoy them! Today we are taking a quick look at the Kama Sutra and what it has to offer the modern couple.

What is the Kama Sutra?
The Kama Sutra is the title of an ancient Indian text compiled by Vatsyayana. It is a compilation of different sexual positions that help couples best enjoy each other. It's main teachings come under the categories of:

Preparing for a lovemaking session
Foreplay for sex
Different positions for actual penetration to take place in
Afterplay - enjoying the relaxed time after sex with your partner

Surveys show that around one in three people has used the positions from the Kama Sutra and enjoyed them!

While many people think of the Kama Sutra as an illustrated driver's guide to the sexual organs, it was actually originally text based, and illustrations were not added until afterwards. In reality, even the descriptions of the sexual positions are only a small part of the original manual

You have probably already tried it!
Just about anything other than the missionary position is probably described in the Kama Sutra. The Kama Sutra also describes fellatio and cunnilingus, as well as more relationship-oriented advice such as how to maintain a marriage, prepare yourself to be sexually attractive, and even how to arrange relations between your many wives and your courtesans! Not all relevant to today … but mostly so.

Can anybody use the Kama Sutra?
As we mentioned earlier, you have probably already tried several of the positions or acts described in the Kama Sutra. Of course, flexibility is required for some of the more exotic positions, and not everybody will have this degree of physical fitness. That's fine! Concentrate on the less taxing parts of the text and pictures, such as:

Advice on how to stimulate desire
Different types of kisses and caresses
Some ideas about gentle biting, scratching and slapping
Oral sex
The penetration positions that you can manage
Improving your physical attractiveness

If you are feeling adventurous about positions, just get into them slowly and don't let all that increased blood flow tempt you into damaging yourself!

How do I Start?
Ideally, the first thing to do will be to get a copy of the translated text as well as the illustrations that have been added later. There are plenty of Western books that detail the positions as well as providing commentary … commentary that is a little more relevant to modern life than how to make sure that your seventeen wives interact well with your courtesans ;-). The Kama Sutra is an ancient text that shows us how to enjoy something even more ancient and primal - the sexual instinct.

An Insider's Look at What Happens at a Hen's Party

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Hen's parties … the female equivalent of the night that has caused many a new husband to have his wife not talk to him on the day of their wedding! As women learn to let loose and find inventive ways to celebrate their last night of 'freedom', hen's parties have become wilder. But what really happens at a hen's party? We check out the gory details.

Who, what, when?
The basic details of hen's parties vary enormously. It might be a small gathering of only her closest friends, or a large group of people in a 'more the merrier' type of atmosphere. The modern hen's party is as varied as the modern buck's party. It can take place at one of her friend's homes, at a pub or dance club, at a strip club (male or female strippers), a restaurant or café, or even at the beach or a park. Usually hen's parties now take place several days or a week before the wedding - there is almost always alcohol involved, and hangovers and wedding dresses are the least compatible partners in the world.

Hen's nights are often about indulgence - about doing whatever it is that makes you feel good, and damn the consequences! Well, mostly … if doing something won’t hurt anybody's feelings in light of the full truth, then the consequences can be safely damned. Hen's parties are seldom like those 'Girls Gone Wild' videos that can be so scary!

Talk, talk, talk - it's only talk
Girls usually go wild with talking at hen's nights … and given the focus of the next few days is making the bride-to-be's relationship a permanent fixture in the halls of reality and legality, the focus of all that talk is understandably, men, sex and sex toys.

That said, men have little to fear from hen's nights. The talk about men is usually in general terms - any secrets you have within your relationship are pretty much guaranteed to stay there. Any bitching and whining done is almost a competitive thing, rather than an in-depth therapy session. Most of the talk about men is focused on the fact that soon, one of their own will need to deal with one of the opposite sex on a permanent basis - and she'll need all the background info she can get to make that successful!

Questions asked and answered at hen's nights
Even so, hen's nights are traditionally places where sex is taboo no longer. With the 'prodding' of a scantily clad man dancing away in front of the women, or even just the encouragement of too many Apple-Tinis, sex is always a topic on the conversational menu. Here are some questions that are often answered at hen's nights:

How do you deal with it when one of you wants sex and the other doesn't?
Is it okay to masturbate if you’re married, and do you have to tell your husband every time?
What's anal sex like?
What is watching porn like?
(Or, for the more advanced candidates) … What are your favourite pornos and why?
Do you dress up for your man?
Does light spanking feel good?

Etcetera, etcetera! You won’t usually find women sitting around with tape measures comparing their partner's penis sizes … but they do talk in general terms and offer each other advice about sexual topics.

What doesn’t work gets discussed as much as what does - in the interests of improving the sex life of all. Much of the time, the discussion takes place in completely natural, conversational terms - there is not a heap of crassness or vulgarity.

Do they talk about anything other than sex?
Well, women have a whole range of interests, just like men. Health and dieting, gossiping about people they know and people they don’t, the state of the world and politics, kids and celebrities are often discussion topics at hen's nights.

And anytime sex comes up, the point of the discussion is usually to enjoy their men more than they already do, as well as increasing his pleasure. So there is nothing to be frightened of!

5 Reasons Why a Vibrator is a Girl's Second-Best Friend

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:14:00 GMT

Every girl should have a second-best friend. The sort of friend that can almost instantly make you feel good, de-stress you, and help you ignore all those niggling pieces of life that just won’t go away. The best part about it is that these friends aren't difficult to find at all - all you need to do is hop online and you can get them delivered in discreet packaging from an obscurely named company, right to your letterbox. Every girl's second best friend should be a vibrator - here are the top 5 reasons why!

1. Because sometimes you won’t have a partner Sex is a natural part of life - but if you don't have any handy humans to take out your sexual urges on, and would rather skip the baggage and risks associated with one-night stands, a vibrator is an excellent alternative. You can use it for quickies or slowies - while watching porn or just quietly in bed at night before you go to sleep. There is a stack of research that shows that orgasms help maintain your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing, and there's no need to miss out on those benefits because you aren’t in a relationship.

2. Because when you do have a partner, you want to add a bit of pizzazz
Sometimes making a girl come is hard work for guys … girls actually have it sort of easy in that respect! A vibrator can help you have longer and stronger orgasms, and keep going back for second and third helpings, when your poor dear is worn out. Vibrators can also be used anally, or extra-anally (around the outside of his bottom, pressing against the prostate) on guys with surprisingly explosive results!

3. Because vibrators help incorporate your whole body into the pleasure experience
Every little extra piece of stimulation you can get, either while having sex or masturbating, makes you feel that much more AWESOME! Your boyfriend/girlfriend only has one mouth - but you can use a vibrator on the other nipple for extra pleasure. It's a bit tricky to have him stimulating your clitoris while thrusting - vibrator to the rescue.

4. Because vibrators are instant stress relief
If you can just relax enough to get your vibrator out from the top of the closet, you'll find that using it provides an instant stress relief. In fact, in many organisms (all the way down to algae), sex is actually a response to stressful events in life. Your heart health, cortisol levels, and endorphin levels are all affected positively by having an orgasm. You also release oxytocin and DHEA (the antidote to adrenaline) during orgasm.

5. Because it's easier to buy a new vibrator than get a new boyfriend
And besides, who would want to change boyfriends like they do vibrators?! What we mean by this is that it is a lot easier to expand your sexual repertoire with new sex toys than a new sex partner. There are a hundred different types of things that vibrate and wiggle to make you feel good and relieve stress in different ways.

Vibrators are possibly one of the inventions that have done the most to put women on an equal footing with men … now we can bring ourselves to orgasm with the same ease that guys experience. Hurrah! They are becoming so much more accepted … and when even scientists are telling us they are good for our bodies, who are we to argue?