V-Day Waco

Women's Health Holistically! Tip-of-the-Month

noreply@blogger.com (V-Day Waco) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:43:00 +0000

Just Breathe!

Stress is an everyday part of life in American society. Even more so for women who are victims of domestic violence. Their “fight or flight” systems never get turned off because they must always be on alert for the next trigger that will set off their partner.

There are many ways to help alleviate stress. Some are simple and inexpensive and others require some time and money, but all of us, whether we are victims of abuse or not, need to teach our bodies how to “let go.”

One very simple way to reduce stress is by breathing correctly. One easy way to do this is something called the 3-part breath, which I’ll describe later in this article.

When we are in constant alert mode, our adrenals get over-stressed, our other body systems are over-taxed and this leads to many common diseases and conditions. So learning how to deal with stress is important.

When our sympathetic nervous system receives a message of danger, a cascade of events happens in our bodies, including the release of adrenaline. It sends blood to our limbs and increases our heart and breathing rates. We breathe more shallowly in our upper chest. Ancestrally, this prepared us to run from a physical threat, or to stay and fight.

After the danger is over, the body should get messages from the parasympathetic nervous system, which sends blood to the interior of our bodies so we can digest food and have a normal heart and breathing rate. Breath should come more deeply from the abdomen.

Today, with our fast-paced lives, we live in a constant low-level state of stress. When domestic violence is added to the mix, it becomes a higher level of constant stress. Our sympathetic nervous system “forgets” how to turn off and we end up always breathing with just the upper 1/3 of our lungs, which makes us anxious. Our digestion also suffers.

To help correct this imbalance, telling someone to “Just breathe,” without giving them instruction in how to do it can be frustrating. Their bodies just don’t remember how to do it. Babies know how instinctively. So do animals. But often we have forgotten how.

In 3-part breath, first, you place your hands on your upper chest and as you breathe in, you use only your upper chest muscles and make your hands rise and as you breathe out, your hands fall. Do this for several breath cycles. This is fairly easy for most people, but some of you will find yourself feeling a bit light-headed or anxious. That’s because you are not getting enough oxygen. This is the type of breathing done when people are stuck in the stress cycle.

The next step is a bit of a challenge. Put your hands on your lower rib cage and now breathe only with the muscles that widen the lower ribs. As you breathe in, your hands should move outward. As you breathe in, your fingers should move closer together. This takes some concentration, but once you get it, continue for a few breath cycles.

Next, place your hands on your belly with the fingertips of the left hand touching the fingertips of the right hand and when you breathe in, your fingers should move farther apart, as you breathe out, your fingers should come closer together. Only your belly should move.

For shallow breathers, this can be a real challenge, but keep trying. This is where your breath should come from. A muscle called the diaphragm essentially divides your body in half and is attached to the lower ribs It should drop as you breathe in, expanding the belly and making room for the lungs to expand. By doing this, we can get a full breath.

The last step is to combine all 3 levels. Place one hand on your upper chest and one hand on your belly. As you breathe in, first raise your belly, then expand your ribs in the middle and lastly, raise your upper chest. Hold for just a second and then reverse the process. Release the air in the upper chest, then the mid-ribs and finally let the belly relax.

As you become more adept at this, make the out-breath twice as long as the in-breath. This really releases toxins from the body. After several breath cycles, return to normal breathing, which should have the belly expanding to drop the diaphragm in order to expand the lungs.

To discover more ways to combat stress and maintain your health, come to the Waco Holistic Health Fair, Saturday, Oct. 18 from 10-4 at McLennan Community College Conference Center, 4601 N. 19th Street, Waco.

(Contributed by Jamie Graham, L.Ac., of Healing Touch Acupuncture. Jamie is a licensed acupuncturist and specialist in women's holistic health care. Visit her website here.)

Open Question: The Women of This Year's Election

noreply@blogger.com (Laura F. Walton) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:29:00 +0000

I imagine we've all heard the news: two weeks ago, Republican Presidential candidate John McCain announced as his running mate Gov. Sarah Palin, a staunch conservative (which is not surprising) and a woman (which is.) After Democratic Sen. Hillary Clinton's strong run for the Presidential nomination and her continued presence in the election year hoopla, gender has become one of the hottest topics of the impending election.

The general population, as reflected in the blogosphere and elsewhere, has pounced on this topic in an uncharacteristic way. One of the big questions is: will the case for a gender-equal society be strengthened or damaged by this highly complex situation? What conclusions are we to draw from the Hillary/Palin phenomenon?

I'm not an avid political fan, but I've watched the public reaction to both of these women very closely. The differences are pronounced, and many of them are expressed along gender lines. Some people are vigorously turned off by Hillary's aggressive, near-ruthless nature, and some people are vigorously turned off by Palin's conformist adherence to "soccer mom" stereotypes. All of these reactions are based not on the candidates' political fitness, but on our own gender-specific biases and perceptions. What gives?

Some of these perceptions and biases may be based in our own experiences of people in general and women in particular, but many more of them are based solely on cultural conditioning-- in other words, some of our responses aren't our responses at all, but instead responses that were inherited from the past. We've been taught to believe that certain things must be just this way, but the our experiences sometimes seem to offer a different opinion.

How do we know which are which, and why should we care?

I doubt there’s one simple answer to either question, but I have a few thoughts on the matter. When we choose or reject major political candidates based on some measure of their acceptability on a (supposedly) legally and philosophically outdated scale of “proper feminine behavior,” there’s obviously something wrong.

Is it the laws that are wrong? They clearly state that women are entitled to professional equality with men, and yet women who exhibit the traits necessary to make it as top political candidates face instant societal retribution, and are rejected with labels like “unfeminine,” "un-American," and much worse. Regardless of political stances, this election has been a nightmare of gender role stereotyping, in more ways than one. Hillary Clinton is not the only one affected; exactly how far from her current role as the pretty, proper, conservative female could Sarah Palin step without facing the same sort of censure that Hillary received?

Is it our culture that is wrong? We encourage our daughters to “be all that they can be,” while simultaneously conditioning them to reject such traits as assertiveness, cunning, and overt competitiveness. We still unconsciously support many of the stereotypes we claim to reject. We may not realize what we're doing, but when we encourage a girl to participate in debate club, and then frown on her when she exhibits an "unfeminine" urge to win at all costs, we send a horrible set of mixed messages. The evidence of these mixed messages has rarely been more publically obvious than it is now.

Is it me who is wrong, as an individual? Sometimes I wish we could get rid of gender altogether, or add three or four more categories, or…something, anything at all to shake up the rigid notions of what should be. There’s a not-so-hidden interplay of gender politics that places intolerable limits on individual achievement and growth; under a rigid either/or polarization of any kind, no one is free to produce their very best results. It's like being asked the question, "What would make the best pie? Grapes or fish?" and not being allowed to say, "Well, apples might be good. Or peaches. Or banana cream." If the only choices you have are grapes and fish, well, then grape or fish pie it is.

Is there anything we can do about cultural gender stereotyping? Indeed, is there anything we should do? And just who is supposed to answer these questions? Us?

I wish I knew....

(This post is purely the opinion of writer Laura F. Walton, and doesn't necessarily reflect anyone's thoughts but her own.)

Women's Health Holistically! Tip-of-the-Month

noreply@blogger.com (V-Day Waco) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:23:00 +0000

Toyohari for Women

Have you ever thought you might like to try acupuncture, but the thought of someone sticking a needle in you gives you the shivers? You are not alone. Our memories of childhood immunizations or other medical procedures leave much to be desired in the pain arena.

But acupuncture need not be painful. It actually doesn’t even have to involve needles. A Japanese form of acupuncture, called Toyohari Meridian Therapy, developed by blind practitioners in Japan and the subject of numerous studies showing it’s effectiveness is now available in Waco.

Toyohari is wonderful at treating a variety of women’s issues, including menstrual disorders, menopausal issues and infertility. It also works effectively with many issues from which women in this fast-paced society suffer. These include headaches, insomnia, stress and depression, just to name a few.

It also works well with neck pain and low back pain. The first time I got treated for low back pain, I was amazed at its efficacy. The sacral area of my lower back had felt achy and unstable for over 20 years, ever since a fall on my tailbone. One treatment and I got up feeling like my lower back could actually support me without pain. This sensation lasted for several months until I did some heavy lifting. Another treatment fixed this problem – all without inserting needles!

Another time, I had been feeling out of sorts, constantly on the verge of tears. One of my Toyohari cohorts did a quick treatment that took about 10 minutes. I got up from the table feeling refreshed and renewed.

This form of treatment has been the subject of numerous Japanese studies since WWII. It is relatively new in the U.S., with only about 100 practitioners of this style practicing here.

After WWII when General Douglas MacArthur oversaw the occupation of Japan, he wanted to Westernize the Japanese and outlawed several activities that were unique to the Japanese culture, such as martial arts and acupuncture.

At that time, the only two professions open to blind people were massage and acupuncture. The head of the acupuncture society knew that MacArthur also did not believe in social welfare. He appealed to his distaste of having to support so many blind people if they could no longer make a living. So acupuncture was allowed to remain.

In order to preserve their profession, the Japanese acupuncturists knew they had to do three things: Make it teachable, make it reproducible and do accurate research to prove its effectiveness. They have done all three since that time.

If you would like more information about this unique style of acupuncture, please call Jamie Graham at 759-8050.

(We hope you enjoy this new feature, authored by Jamie Graham, L.Ac., of Healing Touch Acupuncture. Jamie is a licensed acupuncurist and specialist in women's holistic health care. Visit her website here.)

Women In Business Networking Luncheon

noreply@blogger.com (V-Day Waco) — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 18:22:00 +0000

Sponsored by the Cen-Tex African American Chamber of Commerce, the Women in Business Alliance regular networking luncheon is coming up.

The WIBA luncheon is from 11:30 a.m. - 1:00 p.m, followed by a program by Sherry Perkins-Guillory titled "Communicating with Confidence and Charisma."

When: Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Where: Hampton Inn & Suites Marketplace
2501 Marketplace Drive Waco, TX 76711

Cost: $12.00

To R.S.V.P. contact Gail King at 254-235-3204 or gailk@centexchamber.com.

Cen-Tex African American Chamber of Commerce
"Strengthening our community by empowering business"
Brazos River Plaza
715 Elm Avenue, Suite 107B
Waco, Texas 76704
(254) 235-3204
(254) 759-8593 fax
http://centexchamber.com

Women's Equality Day & Yay Vajayjay!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura F. Walton) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0000

Happy Women's Equality Day, everyone!

From a National Women's History Project article:

"At the behest of Rep. Bella Abzug (D-NY), in 1971 the U.S. Congress designated August 26 as Women’s Equality Day.

The date was selected to commemorate the 1920 passage of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution, granting women the right to vote. This was the culmination of a massive, peaceful civil rights movement by women that had its formal beginnings in 1848 at the world’s first women’s rights convention, in Seneca Falls, New York...."

And on a related note, just how many ways can you say "vagina"? If you're etymologically challenged in this particular region, take a peek at The Frisky's article, Name That Vajayjay.

Happy hoo-ha to you, too....

Date Change! First '09 Vagina Monologues Meeting

noreply@blogger.com (V-Day Waco) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 01:31:00 +0000

If you received our August newsletter, you may have seen the announcement for the first 2009 Vagina Monologues meeting.

Please note: there's been a date change! The first Monologues meeting will be held on Wednesday September 10 at 6:30 at Basaberu (723 6th Street, near Taco Cabana, just off I-35.) If you need directions or have any questions, email Laura at info@vdaywaco.org .

At this meeting, we'll announce this year's venue, director and audition dates, plus talk about some great pre-Monologues benefit shows, fundraisers, and much more. There are so many ways to have fun and get involved-- we're also looking for someone to volunteer to be this year's official shutterbug, so if you enjoy taking and sharing pics, bring along a camera.

Spread the word!

Rape Prevention Tips

noreply@blogger.com (V-Day Waco) — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:42:00 +0000

In 2006, Waco's official crime statistics reported 72 forcible rapes, a figure which is higher per capita than the state average (find more stats here at IDcide.com) Here are a few rape prevention tips that were passed along to us from a concerned friend. Thanks, Nancy!

* * *
This is important information for females of ALL ages.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone,searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. And 8:30 a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two: Are office parking lots/garages. Number three: Are public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another locationwhere they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: 'I can't believe it is so cold out here,' 'we're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior,don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!! You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

* * *

For those of you who are interested in further prevention tips, here are a few good links.

Aware (Arming Women Against Rape & Endangerment)- geared toward self-defense, including defensive weapons

No-Nonsense Self-Defense- another self-defense site, with specific information about preventing rape

Smarter Sex.org - Date rape is much more common than stranger-perpetrated rape, and often goes unreported. This page focuses on the topic.

Feel free to add links by posting a comment below. Knowledge is power!

Any Writerly Ladies Out There?

noreply@blogger.com (V-Day Waco) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 01:59:00 +0000

Here's a call for submissions that might be of interest to some of you. It's for an upcoming anthology of first period stories, called Congratulations! You're A Woman Now!

"A woman’s first period is a universal rite of passage. While it can be horrifying when it happens, it often becomes heartwarming or humorous when we look back at it years later....each of us has some sort of story to tell about our first period.We want to hear from those who look back on the experience with tears of laughter or just plain tears....

Sharing these stories may remove some of the stigma around “the curse.” If you have a good story about your first period or any other menstrual debacle, you are invited to submit it."

The deadline is coming up quickly, September 1. For more information, visit the website here: You're A Woman Now

My Life As A Girl, Part Two

noreply@blogger.com (Laura F. Walton) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 00:35:00 +0000

(If you missed Part One of "My Life As A Girl", check it out here.)

How the world changes in just a few short years.

Five years ago, if friends saw me wearing a skirt, they knew it must be Halloween. Jeans and T-shirts were the usual stuff-- slacks if I had to look presentable-- but dresses? I don't think so. They looked fine on other people, but on me? Uhn-uh.

It was really Halloween that finally clued me in. Every year, I dressed up as the same thing: a girl. Not just any girl, either-- a gypsy girl, with a flowing skirt, big jangly jewelry, and entirely too much eye makeup. Stevie Nicks had nothing on me, not in October. I had two drawers full of "girl clothes" that I only pulled out once a year, and for just a few days, I felt feminine, in a wild, spirited, free-floating way. I was a girl! and I enjoyed it.

I'm not sure if someone actually mentioned the irony of the situation, or if it finally dawned on me of its own accord: my alter-ego was female. Until I hit thirty, I'd lived my life with no more concession to gender than was absolutely necessary to get married, have a kid, and find my way into the appropriate restroom in the mall.

Now I found myself drawn to things like fashion magazines, coffee clatches, and shopping. It was...uncomfortable. I felt out of place. Nearly five years into this process, I'll admit that I still feel slightly out of place.

In groups of women, I sometimes have this gnawing feeling that at any moment, they'll realize I'm faking it. I imagine they'll all jump up and point accusing fingers at me, "What does she think she's doing here? The lipstick and heels don't fool me...look, those are welding scars on her arms! Eewww!" I'll have to run for it, bawling my head off, heels and all, thus confirming every damn fool thing I ever believed about women.

Luckily, this hasn't happened. I seem to be able to navigate the mysterious world of women's groups, gossip, and fashion without much fuss. Oh, I'm still more at home with a power tool or a keyboard under my fingers, but I seem to be learning a surprising lesson: the things I once held against women were really things I held against myself.

So what if I like shoes? It's no crime to like to shoe-shop, is it? So what if I change my hair color every few minutes? It doesn't make me less of a writer, less of an artist, less of a person-- plus, it gives me a perverse sort of pleasure to say "No, not tonight...I'm doing my hair."

So what if I cried during Wall-E? So what if I secretly watch The Man From Snowy River and identify with the pretty heroine who has to be rescued because she does something impetuous and stupid? And so what if I cry during that too?

The process of individuation is a funny thing. We all confront it, no matter our biological gender. We discover along the way that the things we fight hardest against are really just parts of ourselves, buried deep and despised, waiting to be dragged out, brushed off, and seen in a new light. These alter-egos beg to be integrated in our lives in their own unique way.

Once we begin accepting them, we suddenly notice that they're not stereotypes anymore. They're not cardboard strawmen of "weak dependant women" nor cardboard cutouts of anything else...and neither are we.

We're individuals, with all the complexity and contradiction that the word implies.

I can weld, I can take off across country on foot, I can hang from trees and cuss. I can flirt, look stunning in a dress and heels, and cry at sad movies. I can do all of these things, and every year feel less and less self-conscious about it. It's good to be alive, and it's good to be a woman, that much I know.

Pink, though, I may never understand.

***

("My Life As A Girl" is Laura F. Walton's contribution to HerStories, V-Day Waco's collection of personal anecdotes about life, love, and womanhood in Central Texas. To contribute your own story, visit the HerStories page of our website here.)

Waco Women Walk for the Cure

noreply@blogger.com (V-Day Waco) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:39:00 +0000

Waco Trib staffer Cindy Tomlinson really walks the talk.

She'll walk nearly 500 miles of it before November.

November 7 --9 is the date for the upcoming Dallas/Fort Worth Breast Cancer 3-Day, benefiting the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Cindy Tomlinson is one of the co-captains of Team Waco; along with Starr Fogle, Cindy has already helped Team Waco raise over $14,000 this year.

The November 3-Day is a sixty-mile walk-a-thon, spread over three days. The DFW 3-Day is one of fourteen national November walks, each designed to raise funds for breast cancer research. Individuals and teams seek sponsorship throughout the year, and Team Waco's goal of $30, 000 seems well within reach.

This is not your everyday walk in the park. Team Waco, along with hundreds of other women around Texas, began their 24-week training schedule this month. At the end of the training, each member will have walked 500 miles or more.

" The physical commitment is almost overwhelming, but nothing compared to the treatments that the breast cancer patients endure. This is our way of saying that we are there to help fight breast cancer with you!" says Tomlinson.

The race is an experience in endurance and bonding. Tomlinson describes her experience in last year's race:

"The first day, we were so high on adrenalin we just bounced thru it. The first evening in the shower trucks was awkward and tested our modesty-- again, nothing compared to breast cancer treatments-- so we decided that we were thankful for our good health and slowly crept back to our tent...

The 2nd day, the blisters emerged and we found out what we’re really made of. We
tried to treat the blisters but failed miserably and decided to check out the medical tent. The medics worked miracles (I admit I may still have a crush on the medic that worked on me) and we continued the walk. Our pace was a little slower but we walked every mile! We were happy to see the shower trucks the second night. That warm shower may be the best shower I’ve ever taken in my life! Another night in the tent!

The 3rd day was the big challenge. We didn’t have adrenalin helping us anymore. We were tired, sore, had blisters, but determination was on our side! Our pace was even slower but we continued to walk. Some of us decided as the day wore on that we had reached our physical limits and rode in the sweep vans. Amazingly there were no feelings of failure. We did our part. We raised the money. We pushed ourselves physically. We were victorious! And we were there to cheer on all of the other walkers! All 6 of the Team Waco members are walking again this year!"

Tomlinson says that she had already been involved with the Susan G. Komen Race for years, when a couple of her co-workers with diagnosed with skin cancer. She says, " I wanted to help them but didn’t know how. Starr Fogle and I decided that we could do more by participating in the 3-Day."

Tomlinson ways that there are already twelve members on the 2008 Team Waco, plus another Waco team of five. There's still plenty of time to get involved, as either a participant or a sponsor.

* * *

Visit Team Waco's page on the 3-Day.Org website here

Or check out the Waco Trib blog Walk This Way, which chronicles the efforts of Cindy Tomlinsion, Starr Fogle, and the rest of Team Waco.

Team Waco also has a Windows LiveSpace with current updates here.

Guest Post: A Look At Feminism Today

noreply@blogger.com (V-Day Waco) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 21:30:00 +0000

Feminism

guest post by Shelly Marek

Understand that we are in constant change and coming to terms with our fate. It seems strange how we think we are in control of everything and we have all the time in the world. Everything is so bittersweet. Change creates extreme hopelessness to the point of breaking the soul, but then comes a new strength out of weakness. We all have a purpose to achieve, but when we stand alone, we rarely complete it.

My focus is how do I make a better world for my daughter and son. My biggest concern is how to set the example so women will not to be at war with other women. We are our own worst enemies!

It is a gift if we can stand in unity even if we disagree. As women, we need to bring trust, hope, loyalty and respect back into our relationships with each other. I remember a song that said "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." What kind of world are we creating? A world where women backstab each other over men, money, material success and vanity?

As women, we need to reexamine why this is acceptable behavior. When did we as women sell out? I believe this is the new feminist issue. We should be rejoicing that Hillary was able to stand the oppressiveness of the democratic party-- shame on the women who then turned on her. I am still going to vote because it's the right thing to do; I am just so disappointed but I have to get over it.

(Special thanks to Shelly Marek of Hill County, Texas, for her guest post on women's issues! Shelly's letter will be archived with HerStories, soon to contain a wide sampling of local women's stories, viewpoints, and expressions.

Leave a comment for Shelly below, or send us your viewpoints; we'd love to hear them.)

My Life As A Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Laura F. Walton) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 16:24:00 +0000

Okay, so I'm a girl.

I'm a woman, actually-- they take away your girl status the year you start using Miss Clairol-- but it all boils down to the same thing. People who have certain (ahem) characteristics are girls, and other people who have certain other (ahem) characteristics are boys. They put up little pictographs on restroom doors to remind us, lest we nod off and forget.

I didn't always know I was a girl. I was one of those pre-adolescents with perpetually skinned knees and a horse; I had a shelf full of books about wild adventures, dangerous quests, and seriously overeducated animals.

I'd have been a tomboy, if I'd known the term; the best you could say was that I was vaguely humanoid when I was washed. But then puberty hit, and with it came a few considerable shocks. Some were less impressive than others (barely B-cups, I'm afraid) but some were completely flabbergasting.

For instance, I could no longer hang from trees in my underwear with my best friends, who were, I discovered, boys. I could no longer convince anyone that I was going to be Indiana Jones when I grew up-- Lara Croft had yet to make her appearance, and the role model pool suddenly got a lot smaller.

There was Madame Curie, but I poisoned myself with my first chemistry set and my parents took it away. There was Jane Goodall, but Texas has a shortage of great apes and my little brother soon got tired of sitting in trees. There was Madonna, but her image didn't include any vine-swinging, nor anything else that looked like much fun, at least not to a twelve year-old.

As far as I could tell, boys got the good jobs like travelling the world in search of lost treasure, and girls got the crap jobs like typing and wearing pink. It was enough to give anyone a bit of a complex, even at twelve.

The psychiatric community has a somewhat controversial term for people who aren't sure whether they're boys or girls; they're called gender dysphoric. Once puberty was well underway, I was sure alright-- I knew I was a girl, but that didn't stop me from being slightly ticked off about the whole thing. I wasn't gender-dysphoric, I was gender-disgruntled.

It made me mad to discover that girls were supposed to cheer on the sidelines while the boys played football. It made me mad to discover that girls were the secretaries while boys were the CEOs. I had nothing against boys-- the male persuasion still made up eighty percent of my social circle-- but I wanted the kind of freedom that was evidently exclusive to those with a Y chromosome. To me, female equalled cage.

My gender annoyance became sort of a raison de d'etre. I spent most of my twenties proving that I could do as I pleased, girl or not. I had adventures. I swung from a few vines here and there, some shakier than others. I travelled the world-- or at least the southern United States-- spontaneously and with no regard for the so-called weaknesses of my sex. I had big fun, and plenty of the metaphorical adult equivalent of scraped knees.

But then the Miss Clairol years began.

There's something about the big 3-0 that causes a girl to take a good hard look at her life. The mirror begins to show the passage of time, and suddenly the raisones d' etre of one's twenties seem a little dated. The Big Questions begin to ask themselves, whether we like it or not.

Since I'm obviously going to be a girl for the duration (thanks to Neutral Medium Brown, $7.99 at Walgreen's) how do I make the most of it? Did women like Madonna really know what they were doing all along? What is this mysterious power that seems to resonate from the color pink? If I finally admit that I'm a girl, what does that do to my sense of independence?

And most importantly: what will happen if I die in my sleep and they find those copies of Cosmo and Glamour hidden under my bed?

(Click here for the second half of "My Life As A Girl", Laura F. Walton's contribution to HerStories, V-Day Waco's collection of personal anecdotes about life, love, and womanhood in Central Texas. To contribute your own story, visit the HerStories page of our website here.)

"Spaceball" photo from Flickr.com. View photographer's profile here.

Our Own Travelling Vagina Warrior

noreply@blogger.com (Laura F. Walton) — Wed, 28 May 2008 04:19:00 +0000

Whitney Smith, director of last year's Vagina Monologues and active supporter of V-Day Waco, has left us.

When I say "left us" I really mean it: she's on her way to Tanzania.

Everyone who knows Whitney Smith knows her as an ardent activist and a staunch supporter of causes she believes in. Whitney doesn't just talk the talk; she walks the walk too, even if it means travelling all the way to Africa to serve in the Peace Corps. She'll serve a 27-month tour in Tanzania, working as a Health Volunteer in a small village.

Part of her duties will include educating the local population about HIV/AIDS prevention. Tanzania has one of the highest per capita rates of HIV infection in Africa-- close to 9% according to a 2005 UNAIDS study-- and over half of those infected are young women.

Whitney has volunteered more than two years of her life to help stop the spread of this and other deadly diseases in this country in southeastern Africa, as far from what we think of as "civilization" as you can imagine.

No phone, no lights, no motorcars...

...well, perhaps it won't be quite that bad... at least she'll have internet access. Whitney plans to blog about her experiences in Africa (here, at Don't Just Wish For Peace, Work For It) and we've invited her to keep us all updated here on this blog as well.

Why is she doing this? She's just graduated from Baylor with an MFA in Theatre. She has friends and family all around, and is actively involved in local organizations such as V-Day Waco. In this excerpt from her blog, Whitney explains:

It isn't enough to wish for something...you have to work at it. This means
taking a leap into the dark, taking a journey into the unkown...even if it takes
you to a foreign country. Of course this lesson must manifest itself differently
for each person. The Peace Corps is just my way to take an active part in my
world, my beliefs and my goals. So, each day as I passed this sign [of the Dalai Llama on Valley Mills] on my way to rehearsal, I kept being reminded of the importance of being an active player in your own life. I still see the sign everyday and I remember why I am doing this. I feel each person in this world deserves happiness, comfort and encouragement. We should all work for it in our own way. [See the full post here.]

A term was coined when the national V-Day movement first began; the term is "Vagina Warrior" and it refers to people who actively work for the empowerment of women everywhere.

Whitney Smith is one of Waco's own real-life Vagina Warriors. She's been an inspiration to all of us, and we're proud to call her our friend. We'll miss her, but will keep close tabs on her mission of peace and goodwill.

You go Whitney!

(Whitney is pictured on the left above, next to Kelsey Ervi, in a photo taken at the 2008 Vagina Monologues production)

Hello There!

noreply@blogger.com (V-Day Waco) — Tue, 27 May 2008 23:38:00 +0000

Well hi there, and welcome to V-Day Waco's newest feature!

We're still test-driving this thing, so pardon our dust as we tweak and renovate. Meantime, visit our website at http://www.vdaywaco.org/ to check out our latest happenings....