Guess what, I recently realized that some of you still don’t know that I am based out of Kerala now and had left Chennai, like, 2 years ago. And this, inspite of shouting so many times over my blog about me missing Chennai and cribbing about Kerala !

I am not kidding guys, it actually happened a few days ago, with a supposedly regular reader of mine. It got me thinking; people don’t read what I write but then, still manage to comment.  How and why do they do that? I always say that these days I write only for myself. Did this happen because of my selfish motive of keeping myself entertained through my blog? Is it because I don’t write anything worthwhile that caters to everybody’s interests? You know, some of you write poetry, on maids, on cookery, on sports, on maids, on books, on children, and yes, on maids and all that I write is either on music or on the clumsy days of my life. Yeah yeah, I didn’t forget; I also write on marriage and women, but then all those can be easily clubbed under ‘clumsy days of my life’ !  But this can’t be the reason too, because I can’t satisfy all the visitors here; nobody can ! So, what is it ? I wondered. And, when I didn’t find a suitable answer, I quit wondering !

Why is this space so silent then? Asked many bloggers! Errrr, actually, only two; although, both of them clearly know why I have been keeping myself away from blogs. But whenever given a chance, they would still ask me, “arrey, when are you updating your blog?” !! One of them keeps reading my older posts, it seems. I don’t know for what joy; probably to get inspired on how-to-never-write-like-that, or simply because that person is totally jobless ! The same person mailed me recently saying it has been 3 months and 15 days since I posted something here; a human alarm!!!  But you know what, I just love such stalkers; they make me feel important! Yeah yeah, I know you are reading this and I am sure I would never lose you as a reader or as a friend, even if I abused you publicly with your name!

Oh that reminds me another important thing, I have managed to make some of the best of friends here through my blog and I am sure they are my friends forever. Be it a sms, or a chat, or a call, we often connect some way or the other. Since we all know how occupied each of us are, there’s absolutely no pressure to keep in touch and we all give each other that space we require. I don’t know how many of you guys know this, but I am a kind of person who loves socializing with people, but when it comes to my private space, I am a miser. I don’t let people that easily into my space and I feel suffocated when people thrust themselves onto me. I try my best to stay away from these kinda people; I ignore them and I have no issues admitting that. Why is it so difficult for them to understand that I have a life and I have priorities of my own? I have given access only to a few of my best friends to come into this so called space and even they are aware of the fact that I am best left undisturbed whenever I wish to curl back to my shell.

So, where was I ? Aaah, blog friends ! What do I do without you all ? Even if you check my interactions in Facebook, most of them are still with the same blog friends; there is hardly any connect with my other friends over there. I feel except for you guys and a very few close ones, nobody knows me over there. How does it matter, eh? B’cuz Facebook is such a fake book, I tell you. It’s a place meant only for attention and appreciations; nobody can stand public criticisms. You can tease others in public, but when you get teased the same way, the teaser gets out of your friends list!!! (I can see the Brat smiling already ) It is not that I don’t enjoy being there; I have been having some good time goofing around commenting irrelevantly on others updates and photos. But at times, it gets on my nerves. How many times can one read a status message like this – “Sipping tea, reading newspaper and looking at the clear sky from my balcony. What a morning!”, that too from the same person every week! Or even this from the same person every week –“evening tea, hot snacks and watching the world out of my window. What a life” !! and not to forget the highly mushy love messages….oohhhh god, I have often felt killing myself reading all that !! The worst are those who keep updating their location every minute; I mean, does anyone actually care if somebody is in XYZ restaurant or at ABC airport or even in the kitchen ! Weird, isn’t it ? Wonder why nobody updates their loo visits; now, that would be interesting ! and I know it sounds a little insensitive or harsh , but every other child in Facebook is an angel/princess or a prince, which is, at times, so bohorrring !!  Probably, it has something do with my psyche; I find it difficult to appreciate anybody in public. I prefer travelling in the deserted road of insult rather than the crowded lane of appreciations But then, Facebook has a lot of good sides to it too. You could get to see some of your old snaps that you might have missed, connect with those friends whom you have lost before the mobile and email era, get to watch a lot of amazing videos that people share, read funny status updates and jokes, and yeah, also get to know who all in your friends list clicks on those porn spams

I got into Facebook when being regular in blogs was a problem. I still read all my favorite bloggers, but do not take the effort to comment. But yeah, if I get mentioned in any post and when I am informed about it, then, I do. So much of demand I show, right? I know ! Even in Facebook, quite recently, one of my colleague asked me why I untag myself from all the snaps. Well, I told him that it’s my profile and that’s how I want it to be. But then, there is a reason behind me untagging myself from all those random pics. I am very particular about my pics and I would want only the best ones to appear in public. Ok fine, go ahead and call me a narcissist now; who isn’t ! As it is, my profile is flooded with my different kinds of pics for people to make fun of. Why add new ones and that too ones in which I don’t look good!! Oh dear photo taggers, I do understand that it’s a thoughtful act when you tag me; but what to do, even I think of you twice before untagging myself

You know what, I should just move away from this Facebook topic! I could go on and on. Infact, I was about to come up with a Facebook first anniversary post when this post came up! I didn’t want to sound repetitive, but then, I still want to write another post about the do’s and don’t’s in Facebook! And, also a post on all my status messages so far. Didn’t I just write, I need to deviate from this addictive topic ?

What else is keeping me occupied these days then? Hmm, I have been working on a few videos, one of which was showcased during our office annual day along with my song. I should be sharing that with you guys in a week or two; need to edit a few portions in the video before making it public. My karaoke recordings are going on in full swing these days; will be touching the magical 75 with a few more attempts. I re-heard a few older songs of mine recently and noticed that some of them need to be polished. I would have to work on them now because I feel there is no point in reaching any milestone without having convinced myself on the quality. I have been trying different genres now, but with each song, I realize that I have a long long way to go.

Speaking of going, I think I should leave now. One reason why people don’t read my posts should be because they are too long and boring.  What to do! I really don’t know how to make my posts short; each time I try that, I feel I am not doing justice to the space wordpress has given me here But, I am glad that there are people still waiting for me to publish my usual non sense. And, I dedicate this post, one that has no beginning, no structure and an abrupt ending, to all those who haven’t given up on me. Thanks guys, for being around! I so miss being with you and your blog these days! Hope to come back to blogging for good someday.

Btw, you….over there….you reading this, right? Happy? Now, don’t ask me for a month about my next post! 

Not the usual format, right? Well, I have started writing a column for our office newsletter and the above was my second article.

And, this was my first attempt :

PS : Couldn’t update V-Tunes regularly this year, because of the series of electronic disasters I went through. But, I have no intentions to spare you all in 2012. No, seriously !!!

This isn’t the actual launch of the video; it has already (or only ) garnered 108 hits as I write this, and has been showcased to only a few of my relatives and extremely close friends. I wanted to share the video in FB, for a wider audience, but definitely not before I upload it in V-Lokam, because this is where I started it all.

Guess what, I had sent the video to a few non-malayalam speaking junta too (Northies, actually), and it looks like the video and its ‘underlying theme’, is understandable!! Anyway, let me know how it is!

Here’s the youtube link -  Chotta mudhal chudala varey , in case, the video uploaded here isnt working!

Oh btw, if you are planning to watch it during work, make sure you have a headset or an earphone plugged in; ‘cuz on mute this video would make absolutely no sense

And, for people who are wondering how the women folk reacted after watching the video, well, ‘they all took it in the right spirit’. The fact that I am still alive is the best evidence for that tall claim!

Well, as you know, this is not one of those regular film duets but it was fun doing something different and I consider it as an honor to have sung this song along with Shruthi.

Ok, ok, enough of my yapping; listen to the song and, this time, please let ‘us’ know how the song is And, also please read Shruthi’s post here.

Yeah, Don 1 song on the eve of Don 2 release! Now that’s what I call timing!! Well, actually no, both of us have been planning to publish this ever since we completed the song, more than a year that is! We wanted publish the song in both the blogs at the same time, but then, like all the late comers say, everything has got its own time and better late than never!! Oh, there is another reason for posting this now; Shruthi is supposedly leaving the Indian soil in a couple of days and I am sure, with her new role, “Shruthi ko pakaddna mushkil hi nahi, naa mumkkin hoga” !!!

PS : I actually had a huge anti-SRK write up here; almost a page and a half, you know, trying to provide some negative publicity for Don 2. But, decided to delete the whole part since this is Shruthi’s first song over here and I didn’t want all the attention to shift towards that loser SRK. Also because, being a huugge Ex fan of SRK, all those remarks against him would make me sound like I am bashing an ex-girlfriend !!! Not worth it, seriously !! But you know what, I feel much better now; I have managed to reduce Mr. SRK to a mere ‘PS’

((The V-mphony page is also updated with the song))

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The escalation was of no use; the damage to my image was already done!!! Apparently, there weren’t any male staffs for cleaning up the restroom yesterday and they had no other choice. But the least they could have done was to send some male representative inside to check if anybody was inside the restroom before barging in!!!

Well, this isn’t something which I am actually proud of and would easily feature in the list of the most embarrassing moments of my life, if at all I prepare one someday. I happened to narrate this to a few of my colleagues and now there are different versions of the story; one of them even mentions that I was being MMS-ed !!!

*For the uninitiated, Bathroom Kumaaran is one of my nicknames in the Blog world, after having gone through similar bathroom escapades in the past.

Don’t know what was the problem, but my name, during my school days, was a tad longer and weirder than many of you. Vimal isn’t that bad a name, is it ? Or, is it that my name’s too difficult to pronounce? Because, I was known only as ‘Vinoj Vijayan’s brother” for the 15 years I spent in school and I doubt if the teachers actually knew that I had a shorter name! Hmm… Can’t blame them totally! My brother was this Mr.Perfect in school; topper right from nursery to his 12^th (he was even UAE topper in his 12^th), quiet, behaves extremely well and so, was easily the apple of everyone’s eye. And me, just the opposite; average in studies, extremely talkative, picks fight with everyone in the class, and was always the sand in everybody’s eye! Each time I do something silly in school, the teachers call ‘Vinoj Vijayan’ to the classroom to decide what should be done, and I would be standing in front of the whole class, as if in a court room waiting for the ‘judgement’! Being a man of principles, my brother had this special quality of not keeping anything to his heart and would vomit whatever happened in school, to my mother. Well, he still does it! All hell breaks loose when my mother starts questioning me. I try justifying my actions, create loud scenes, get beaten up, and cry while my brother would’ve already sat with his books to study, as if nothing happened!!! To top it all, my mother would send me to him for maths lessons on those days!!

On various occasions, I was asked why am I not like my brother for which I always had the same reply for everyone – Oru thenggiley, randu thengaa, orikkalum orey poley aavilla (In a coconut tree, two coconuts, never ever alike). My brother has this some kind of aura around him, that makes most of my relatives and family friends, old and young, to still look upto him for his suggestions and opinion. Some of my cousins, who came before and after me, were also subjected to comparisons with the phenomenon that my brother is. The quality benchmark that my brother set is still too high for any of our standards Nobody really cares what I speak and that’s because I don’t think I ever say anything sane to my relatives. Even if I do, by mistake, they just stare at my face for a few minutes and then, change the topic. For them, I am and will always be “ohh, you are never like your brother” !!!

All this would’ve have definitely made a great story for a 80’s potboiler, you know, sibling rivalry born out of jealousy and frustration. But, that’s the funniest part, I have always enjoyed the situations being this way. Since, I don’t have this ‘good boy’ image, the expectations are always low and every year, I ensure to bring down the expectation meter to a new level, so that people can always say the next time “oh, we have seen worse from him” . I had the liberty to be in my own sweet world whenever I wanted to and never had to get myself involved in any of the major family discussions. My brother took the role of the responsible chap quite early in his life, while I just had to go with the rules that he had already set.

At school, being ‘Vinoj Vijayan’s brother’ was actually an advantage; saved me a lot of times from getting into escalations. There was this one instance, when my friends and I jumped out of the classroom window and to our bad luck, we landed right in front of the headmaster! We were asked to meet the headmaster immediately; a powerful pinch and a few heart piercing punch dialogues, was his mode of punishment. My friends were called in first and I was asked to wait. After a few minutes, they came out; two of them rubbing their arms and one, in tears. I went in, warming up my arms and wished I had ear buds to escape from all his infamous punch dialogues. But to my surprise, nothing of that sort happened. As soon as I entered his room, he asked me to sit down; yeah, I am not kidding, nobody gets that privilege. I was in my 10^th back then, and hence, my session with him was more about the importance of board exam and concentration on studies. I cared little about it, for I used to get the same advice from my parents those days and still waited for him to turn violent. That’s when he brought up my brother’s name, who had left school by then to join college. See, I didn’t have to even tell anybody who I am. Mr.Headmaster said I should be learn to be like my brother, make everybody say good things about me and that I should score more than my brother in the board exams and blah blah. The Headmaster being a malayali, my great coconut philosophy would have probably worked on him, but I didn’t want to take the risk. After 15 mins. of free lecture, he let me out wishing me even ‘a best of luck’. As I said earlier, nobody gets this privilege guys, except ‘Vinoj Vijayan’s brother’ !!!  I still can’t forget the smirk he had on his face when I went to collect my conduct certificate, later that year

Situations are more or less the same even now and I am not exaggerating. The last time I visited my school was in 2006, and the moment I met the old tutors, their first question was “How is your brother, where is he?” instead of “How are you?” !!!! Actually, it was a recent incident that inspired me to write this. A couple of days back, I happened to see one of my school teacher in my brother’s FB profile. I got excited seeing him and sent a friendship request immediately. Pat came the reply, “Do I know you?”!! Hmmpphh !!! This person taught me mathematics at school for two years and I also went for private tuitions to his residence. But, I realized where the problem was; it’s the name. I simply wrote back, “Hi, I am Vinoj Vijayan’s brother” ; yeah, just that one line would do for him to accept me now ! duh !!

‘What’s in a name’, so said Shakespeare ! As if he ever had to go through any of this !

Jeevida Bhaaram

Njan : Owwwwwchhhh
Amma : Endhu patttee?
Njan : Kaii onnu …aaaahhhh …ulukki…deivameyyy !
Amma : Nalla vedana undennu thonnu; idu enganey sambhavichu?
Njan (sahadharminiye nokkiyum kondu) : Endu chayyaanaa, ‘chumalil jeevida bhaaram’, ennalley? Aaaahhh… Appo kaiyum naduvumokke idakku idupole ulukkiyennu varum !! oowwww !

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Below is the literal translation of the above 55-er; the whole ‘burden’ part is part of a popular Malayalam song and so the translation isn’t going to make as much sense as the original. But, for the benefit of my readers, here it is : (Oh, btw, the translation is also in 55 words  )

Burden* of life

Me : Owwwwwchhhh
Mom : Oh, what happened?
Me : My hand…..aaahhhh…its sprained…oh godd !
Mom : It’s paining badly, I guess; how did this happen?
Me (looking at the Missus) : What to do! They say, ‘The burden* of life is often taken on the shoulders’, right? Aaahhh..So,  at times, the hand and back would sprain;  just like this! Owwwww !

*Burden here refers to responsibilities only and so, please don’t come up with your own interpretations

Have you all ever seen something like this anywhere before? In a way it’s nice; loving our neighbouring country and recognizing their ‘faloodas’ is not something which every nation does. See, I told you, Trivandrum is different!

Somewhere in Jan 2011

If you all remember, the above picture was published here, in this post on Trivandrum!!

Exactly 6 months later – June 2011

The strategic change in its position would not be because of my post, but I am going to take credit for it !   

Oh, that reminds me, for the same reason, I am also going to take credit for Trivandrum’s second Condom shop. And, guess where the new branch is; in the Technopark campus, where we all work!! Now that I am no longer there in Trivandrum, to promote their rubber business through my blog, I just hope they don’t shut them down and open branches here in Kochi!!

Well, in my case, I didn’t take a break from blogging because I didn’t have anything to write. Infact, I had a few posts lined up and had also written and saved them. But then, one fine morning, actually evening, after getting back from school, my laptop refused to switch on. After repeated attempts of trying to make it work (I even tried the traditional banging-the-laptop technique), I took it to its authorized service center. The guy over there mumbled something in ‘technology’ and all I understood was ‘corrupted OS’. I begged, pleaded and must have also shed some tears asking him to save all my data – I had two photo albums, a couple of videos which I was working on, those blog entries, and a couple of my recordings which were left to edit, all in my desktop and with no backup ! But the bugger said ‘no’ with a sadistic smile! On the same day my bike, for some reason, didn’t want to take me along with it and I had to leave that also for service.

I still had my wifi connection at home though and kept accessing the net through my mobile; that’s when I was active in FB. Something happened to our phone lines and two days later, I lost that luxury too. For almost a week, it remained that way, with absolutely no sign of getting fixed. There was just two more weeks for me to shift to Kochi (yeah, even that happened!) and I decided to cancel the connection, rather than calling the customer service as an everyday routine. My bike was still in the service center and didn’t hear from those laptop guys too (couldn’t call them and enquire the status because the number in the bill was incorrect). No bike, no laptop, no internet; totally stuck ! The day I received my bike, I went straightaway to check the status of my laptop and those idiots, apparently, had fixed it long ago and forgot to call me. The laptop was more like a vegetable, it just had a trial version of the OS and it required an online connection to get activated and not to forget, I also had to download the drivers. The relocation to Kochi was to happen anyway in a few days, so didn’t bother to get a data card for internet.

My adventure with the service centers continued in Kochi as well. A week after reaching Kochi, my phone was the first to give me trouble. The moment I switch it on, the stupid thing gets stuck with no display or sound. According to the mobile service fellas, the one of the board’s parent, mother or father, passed away and I would have to pay 75% of the mobile’s cost to get bring that parent back to life; yeah, like I am crazy to pay that much!! Next in line was the bike – oh yeah, again. Those TVS guys in Trivandrum totally destroyed my bike which was once upon a time happily riding in Chennai. After receiving my bike, it was my laptop’s turn to drive me nuts. It crashed once again and carried it once again to an authorized service center. And, it was only then I realized that those Trivandrum HP guys had replaced my monitor; I used to have a monitor with a built in webcam and now I don’t!! Yeah, so much for authorized service centers!! Anyway, the day I brought the laptop back home, my external hard disk crashed!  The hard disk was the only source of backup I ever had. I would’ve gone to depression if anything happened to all those data and so was ready to go any extent to get it fixed.  After a three week long struggle with the service center, I got my external hard disk and just when I thought that the good days were about to return, my bike came up with a new problem. Petrol was leaking from the tank like water pouring out of an overflowing tank; again, something which the Trivandrum TVS guys were responsible for. I just left it at a nearby workshop this morning and I am expecting to receive it sometime this week.

Exciting, isn’t it? If reading the above two paragraphs was confusing enough, just imagine what I would’ve gone through. There were times when I had this strange feeling that somebody, somewhere is playing that supposedly funny game ‘Axe your Ex’ with me  Sigh! I am eagerly looking forward to the next stuff that is going to enter the ‘give-poor-vimal-a-headache’ bandwagon!

Ok now, to answer the question, what am I doing in Kochi ? Nobody asked, eh? But you know what, I don’t care. This is my blog and I will write whatever I want; so there !!!

What attitude, no? Blame it on my school, folks!! Attitude – the trait that I hate the most in people, and a subject which my school is interested in teaching me these days. The other important subject is politics. There is something about keralites and politics, guess it runs in our blood; we can see our people playing ‘political’ games in school, college, office and at times, even in our house. Honestly, I am least interested in it because I don’t understand these subjects and try my best to stay away from all such classes. I am not kidding, but the students in my school are also graded based on their attitude and performance in politics. Obviously, my grades are low because of the poor attendance and the ever increasing arrears in both  the subjects! Oh, forgot to mention, I am still in the same school with the same students and teachers around; just that I got a voluntary transfer to another branch.

Kochi , as they say, is a happening place and a lot better than Trivandrum in terms of the amenities, but certainly, way behind Trivandrum in terms of the roads and cleanliness.  And oh, atlast, I got to see a shopping mall that is not Big Bazaar! The most important aspect for me in a city is its people and I must say I have had some real bad experiences with the people in Trivandrum; I am glad that people are a lot lot civil here. A Trivandrum fanatic would disagree, but having stayed in various parts of Kerala, I can easily make out the difference. Probably, I am wrong, but that is how I feel. Kochi is overcrowded, I agree, and the traffic, sometimes, gets onto my nerves. And guess what, the city is blessed with a lot of swimming pools which we need to dodge and drive while we are on the roads. Not that I love this place so much, but Kochi happens to be just three hours from where my parents live. Moreover, this is also the Missus’ native, and now that she has friends and relatives around, I don’t have to give her all my attention and time. As it is, I had only a few hours left in my life after my hectic school schedules and so, you can imagine!! Speaking of friends, remember this ?

“It was my first day in Trivandrum. Srijith had come to pick me up at the station. After helping me with the luggage, and before even getting into the car, he said, “Daaa, theres a bad news, I am moving out of Trivandrum in 15 days. I got a good offer in Cochin” !!! The weather was already so damn gloomy and it was like a perfect movie situation; I could actually feel a cool breeze of air caressing my skin and touching my scalp. In a few hours, it started raining cats and dogs which continued for days, flooding certain areas of Trivandrum for the first time.”

And so, my best friend is also here. The poor guy has been a helping hand ever since I arrived and is literally trapped !!! Buhahahahaha ! On a different note, it rained like crazy for almost a week when I reached Kochi too and like always when I reach a new city, people said “ooohhh, you know, it hasn’t rained like this ever !”. Don’t know why it happens all the time, but the moment I relocate to a new city, it pours and pours and pours and…. The same happened when I first set my foot in Chennai, way back in 2001, that too during the month of June !!

Anyway, if you think any of the ‘aforementioned’ are the only reasons that made me move to Kochi, then, naaaahhh! The missus’ parents have a house here that’s been unoccupied for a while, and when you get a rent free accommodation in the city’s prime location, isn’t that deal a steal or what!! I have been receiving comments on this decision of mine, but I really don’t care because I still haven’t given those people the mantle of my life.

And guess what, these days, I am very careful with my anti-marriage comments because all it requires for her to shut my mouth is a “Get outta my house”!!! Who am I kidding, eh? Will a lion ever stop roaring just because it caught cold once? Buhahahhahaha!!  Oh wait, IHM, you should mention about this in one of your ‘Joru ka Ghulam’ posts and ensure that V-Lokam get some extra hits !

That’s it from me; let me go and reply to the comments for my previous post; the one I published 3 months ago

You all must be aware of who Maamukkoya is, right? Well, the look alike in the picture is some Johnny and it seems, like Maamukkoya, this Johnny guy has also ‘acted’ in a few movies and was even seen in the latest installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean series.

and I am dedicating this post to………………..should I even mention that ??

Also check :

Spot the difference -1

Spot the difference -2