Verna Lane

Stephen J. Cloobeck, CEO with a Heart of Gold

411LTD — Thu, 23 May 2013 20:24:00 +0000

As far as I'm concerned, Stephen J. Cloobeck is a modern-day hero. He is the Chairman and CEO of Diamond Resorts International who appeared on the TV show Undercover Boss twice. During the taping of the show, he set a record as the most generous boss of the series. Commendable as that is - what's even more extraordinary about him is that he made it the new norm to help his employees that are in distress (long after the filming was over). He set up a crisis fund to help all employees worldwide. When they hit severe times, they can apply to the fund for assistance. Mr. Cloobeck donated a million dollars of his own money, and the company matched it with another million dollars to the fund.

What a tremendous idea!! It makes so much sense to support the people that keep your empire running smoothly. I can hear some of you CEOs whining and bulking about that already (no, not you, the *other* CEOs)... I can hear you saying things like "We pay their wages and benefits. Isn't that enough?". The answer is No, that's not enough. Here's why: The economy has shifted to such a great degree that the middle class workers have been squeezed dry. Inflation has risen at a rate far outweighing workers' wages. They work non-stop (often with part-time jobs on top of their full-time gig) and yet still can't afford food, mortgages or utilities. Some of them are homeless or don't have electricity and yet they still show up on the job. Sh!t happens when you're living paycheck to paycheck and life can quickly take a turn for the worse. A majority of them are so emotionally burdened with debt and hopelessness that they cannot function at peak performance. Leaving your employees desperate is a breeding ground for disaster.

Yet, on the other hand, bolstering your employees and showing a charitable side (not soft, charitable) can benefit the company exponentially. They work harder, care about their performance, they innovate, they treat your customers better. There's less turnover, less training, less bad-mouthing your corporate reputation. In fact, your employees can be a tremendous source of good P.R. when they talk favorably about their job. That whole vibe attracts new customers to you, while improving moral, productivity and loyalty.

Plus, if you're a CEO who implements goodwill policies, then you get a gold star at the end of your days! Ha ha. Maybe not. I don't know. But for sure it is "good karma" that will come back on you in untold ways. Karma's funny like that. You never know what form the reward will take but somehow your manna for good deeds will find its way to you, when you least expect it.

Kudos to Mr. Cloobeck for doing the right thing. It's admirable.

› posted by Verna Lane ››› Author & Rebel

Links:

Stephen J. Cloobeck on Wikipedia

Undercover Boss on Wikipedia

Undercover Boss on IMDb

Diamond Resorts International | Official Website

Photo Source

Salmon is in my D.N.A.

411LTD — Wed, 22 May 2013 18:43:00 +0000

For most of my life, I've been a complete fanatic for salmon. Any type. I'll eat it straight from the can, skin and all (well, minus the bones). When I first moved out on my own at age 16, my boyfriend and I would go fish out a salmon from the local river every Friday night. Before I learned how to set up house and home, the first thing I mastered was cleaning salmon and prepping it for the barbecue. I mean... I *LOVE* salmon! When my dad was still alive (up to my 8th year) he fed me a lot of seafood. In fact, my first solid food was a sardine, which he slipped me when my mom wasn't looking. I was still in a high chair and he slips me a sardine! Ha ha, apparently my little tastebuds were quite shocked and I made some unpleasant faces. But sardines later came to be one of my favorite foods. For sure, he influenced my pallette to love all seafood, but salmon was not among the foods that he gave me. I don't know why - possibly budget. Later in life, a few years after his passing, I discovered salmon on my own and it was love at first taste. Ever since then, I can never get enough of the stuff. I don't know why. I'm just crazy about it and that's all I know!

So then... imagine my surprise to find that my father's home town - Campbellton, New Brunswick in Eastern Canada is known as "the undisputed capital of salmon country". They have various sculptures to showcase their love and pride of the lively (and tasty) salmon. Apparently there is even a "Salmon Plaza", plus a "Salmon Festival" each year. What?!?! Is it possible that salmon is in my D.N.A.??!? This is really fascinating and I can't explain it but would love to hear your theories in the comments section about how such a coincidence came to be. Here's an excerpt from the wikipedia page for Campbellton N.B....

‹ via ›

Campbellton is the undisputed capital of salmon country. Sport fishing enthusiasts literally travel from around the world to this part of New Brunswick in search of Atlantic Salmon. To honour the king of game fish, the City erected an 8.5 meter stainless steel sculpture on its waterfront and lovingly adopted him as "Restigouche Sam". In the summer months, Salmon Plaza provides a picturesque backdrop for many photo opportunities and serves as an ideal spot for activity during the annual Salmon Festival (usually held the last week in June). [source]

Verna’s Safe Zone, Reclusive Creativity and the new HQ

Hollywood Mogul Entertainment — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 14:15:00 +0000

Verna lives and works in a “safe zone” that is free of harmful chemicals. In 1999, she developed an extreme sensitivity to everyday chemicals... things like newsprint, perfume*, air fresheners, printed flyers and a long list of other common items. The situation can be life-threatening, but as long as she stays within her “safe zone” she enjoys good health and a high-level of functioning.
It’s not all bad news though... it turns out that there is a positive side effect to her reclusive lifestyle. This setting has helped her reach extraordinary levels of creativity. Verna has become an unstoppable source of film concepts and fictional tales. She is in a rare class of writers who can propagate unlimited themes, one after another.
Her long-time business partner attends meetings on her behalf (he is a comic who can be quite entertaining). In all film projects, Verna selects experienced co-creators who are willing to take the lead in a physical setting. This ensures that each production is properly cared for. Her involvement is prolific, but strictly “behind the scenes”.
Plans are underway to create a headquarters in the Toronto region where Verna can safely interact with industry professionals. In addition to the luxurious business lounge, screening room and editing bay, it will be a fun setting that includes a variety of recreational assets (such as arcade, basketball courts, pro-athlete’s gym, pool house, guest cabins, and more). As soon as the capital funds are in place, this work/play environment will be accessible to business associates.
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permalink | verna’s updates and favorites

* It’s quite ironic that perfume is a threat to Verna’s health now. Back in 1988, she named her daughter Chanèle, based on CHANEL, her favorite design house and fragrance.

Mad Men Yourself

411LTD — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 11:44:00 +0000

Verna Lane as a MAD MEN character. Try it for yourself! http://www.amctv.com/madmenyourself/

The Soiled Legacy of Sexual Pursuits

Verna Lane — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 07:56:00 +0000

When I see a story like the one above, I am always amazed that someone chose IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION over their PERMANENT LEGACY. I think about the 62 years this man spent on the planet and how many of those years were dedicated to reaching his goals – the hard work invested in become a “somebody”. But then, behind closed doors, his behavior is contradictory. In private, he behaves like a primitive animal thinking only of his physical urges with strangers who act as “human sperm receptacles”.

He was a strong contender for the Presidency of France, and now he is considered a “political pariah”. Which of those two legacies would be his permanent mark in history? It just depended on whether or not his private behavior was found out. A lot of VIP males take this risk with their legacy, as if it is a russian roulette table. They are not really in control of how it will all turn out. They are taking a risk. They are proud men of power risking a twist of shocking humiliation as society’s castoff. Once found out, they will be treated like a second-class citizen forevermore.
When someone lives the double life, they risk losing their career, their reputation, their relationships and – above all – the respect of people who admired them. What are they left with after that? It took a lifetime to build the VIP life and where do you go when it leaves you?

Clearly, with so much on the line, a man who indulges in risky sexual pursuits is not simply chasing a sexual experience. He is LOOKING FOR SOMETHING. He is CHASING something. There is something that he doesn’t have.

It’s very likely that most of these men are chasing a deep bond with another human being. An experience of being outside themselves and temporary escape from the stresses of their demanding lives. But they can search for 100 years and never find that relief in a temporary sexual liaison. It is something that takes years to build. A true and lasting bond that SATISFIES, FILLS and PROVIDES RELIEF is cultivated – not purchased. That kind of bond is founded on mutually shared experiences. It’s the kind of thing that a man MIGHT have if we wasn’t so busy chasing sex. In his pursuit of sex outside his union, he is unconsciously sending clear signals to his romantic partner that he is “distracted” and not interested in pursuing a bond with her. Therefore she stops trying. Instead, she spends his money to give herself some relief.

Men often group with other men of similar mindset. For a man like the one above, he is likely to share his leisure time with other men of similar dysfunctional behavior. Thus, by “grouping”, they start to believe that what they are doing (sex parties with prostitutes) is “normal”. Newsflash: It’s NOT normal. It may be the norm in YOUR circle, but it is NOT normal. It is in fact a mutation of some natural desire (to bond) that has been stifled. Men blame their wives for being “cold” or “frigid” but this kind of man (who purchases his sex as if it was a movie ticket) forgets that HE is the reason why he doesn’t have a true bond with a real woman.

It’s odd – because I’m sure that those men feel like they are “all powerful” when they can gather a room full of prostitutes. But truly, what it appears to be from an outsider looking in, is that this is room full of emotionally depraved men who have never fully matured. This is room full of men who are emotionally empty and seeking “something”. This is a room full of men who don’t know how to bond with a real woman.

If only they could see themselves from the outside looking in.
It wouldn’t be such a proud moment.

When they are caught, that’s the end of their proud legacy. Forevermore, his memory will be attached to THAT SEX STORY. For all his grandchildren, and his great great grandchildren. Filling the story books and internet postings. It will ALL tell the tale of his depraved dysfunctional gamble. It may even provide lurid details outlining his fetishes and show photos. And then, we will all be left with a very clear memory of the man who really wasn’t very special after all.

FOOTNOTE: Yesterday, the Supreme Court of Ontario (Canada) legalized prostitution
‹ full story here ›. For many businessmen, they may feel that it’s a socially accepted thing to do now. But beware! Society as a whole will always hold you to a higher standard if you want to be regarded as “someone who is worthy”… a VIP. If you are not doing this activity publically, then it is still a “double life”. If your secret behavior is found out then your reputation will still be raped and you will still endure a dark legacy. Legal does not mean socially acceptable, nor does it mean that your committed partner agrees with this ruling.

DISCLOSURE: My father was a sex addict. His legacy was soiled by the stories that surfaced after his death in 1975. Every time that I remember him, those stories come to my mind. I am embarrassed to tell people that I miss him. Our family hushes his name and rarely speaks of him. He was a good man but none of us ever speak of his good deeds. His sexual deviancies have overpowered any other memory of his life.
His actions brought shame to our family and it has been a heavy burden for us to carry. As my father’s only child, my life has been devoted to building a POSITIVE legacy so that I can restore honor to our family and the lives of our descendants.

GETTING HELP: If you – or someone you know – is pursuing “sex” at the risk of everything else, then it is not “normal” behavior. It is an addiction – the same as gambling or doing drugs. Addictions do NOT improve over time. They continue until the person gets caught or gets help. To find out what resources are in your local area, google the term “ sex addicts anonymous “ and valuable links will appear, including help for porn addicts and group therapy for the partners of sex addicts.

RESTLESS The Book Series		RESTLESS VIP For the Elite, Rich and Famous who Struggle with Internal Restlessness and Reckless Lifestyle
THE RESTLESS SPIRIT Inside the Reckless and Addictive Personality		RESTLESS REMEDY Truths and Tools to Cure Your Restless Monster

The Great Illusion

Hollywood Mogul Entertainment — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 18:00:00 +0000

The Great Illusion…

It is the “ILLUSION of satisfaction” that compels us to chase things in life… the ILLUSION of what we THINK will happen to us when we reach that target. But in fact, the things we chase are not likely to be the same things that give us true satisfaction.

VERNA LANE Profile

Hollywood Mogul Entertainment — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:07:00 +0000

Verna Lane

Content Creator for Major Studios

CEO, Executive Producer, Author

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

SEE ALL POSTS for Verna Lane

imdb | imdb pro | twitter | google+ | linkedin

Author’s BIO | Business Profile

“Woman of the Year” 1996

Creator of FISH SPIES… SUDDENLY MONEY…and more

CEO, Executive Producer at Hollywood Mogul Entertainment

Script Broker for Screenwriters

Author at Verna Lane Books

Business Profile: Verna is a veteran of the business world.
She started her first business at 23, has 21 years of business experience and awarded “Woman of the Year” by the age of 30. ‹continue reading›

About film concepts created by Verna

QUOTES by VERNA LANE

Comedy is important for the soul.

Perception alters reality. When the mind changes, EVERYTHING changes.

Life is nothing if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing.

FAMOUS LINEAGE

Verna’s French Canadian ancestry traces back to 1578 Canadian Settlers from Montpellier, France. She is directly related to Madonna as 7th cousins, Hillary Clinton as 9th cousins and Celine Dion as 10th cousins.

Through this same lineage (bloodline) she is also related to Angelina Jolie, Alanis Morrisette and the Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla, wife of England’s Prince Charles).

This might explain why Verna is such a trailblazer... she comes from a hardy stock of pioneering women who thrive on innovation and breaking the rules!!

Book in progress: RebelBloodline.com

SEE ALL POSTS for Verna Lane

Deception Bites Back

Verna Lane — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:11:00 +0000

Excerpt from the book:
ACTORS 911©
Personal & Professional Survival Guide for Actors
By Verna Lane Books

DECEPTION BITES BACK

[originally written 2010-02-02]

In my role of managing actors and actresses, one client recently lied to me. It's the second time they did. I'm thinking that this person must believe that they got away with the first lie... so they are safe to do it again.
But they didn't get away with the first lie. It's just that I never said anything to call them on it. I knew they were lying and I said nothing. I went along with the lie. Then I made dramatic changes to the level of service they will get out of me... because now I know that I'm working with a liar who cannot be trusted.
But I said nothing to indicate that anything had changed between us. Why do you suppose that I chose that route?
I chose that route because I have learned a lesson about liars. I have learned that they must first deceive themselves in order to deceive others. I have learned that when I call them on their deception, they genuinely get angry with me for noticing. They debate. They accuse me. They deny. They try to complicate matters. They will do ANYTHING except 'fess up. Next they will back off and hide. Then they will seek to replace me with a manager who is less observant.
Liars have emotional issues and it's got nothing to do with me. So I stay out of it. Far be it from me to waste my valuable time arguing on an issue that I did not create. Far be it from me to take a financial hit and be replaced just because I'm dealing with a liar. Frig that! Now I want to make money off them even more.. just for being such a pain in the @ss!
This client thinks that I am busy doing a certain task for them when in fact I am no longer doing it... I don't have to lie about it because that client is so busy avoiding me right now. So here we are... the client thinks I'm doing it but I'm not. Shouldn't I tell them that the protocol has changed between us? Well, how can I? That would mean calling them a liar, since it was the lie that changed our protocol.
But it's not my responsibility to clean up the loose ends from someone else's lie. That is their consequence. That is their fallout from their behavior.
You know what bugs me the most about liars? That when they lie to someone, they have to retreat, hide and make themselves scarce for a while. They have to avoid certain subjects, and detour to avoid bumping into you... all because they lied to you.
I remind myself that they have emotional issues... liars can never be trusted... it's got nothing to do with me... and I don't owe them an explanation when I change the rules of the game after they’ve lied.

MORAL OF THE STORY…

If you are an actor/actress who sometimes lies to your handlers, you could screw up your career opportunities and not even know it. You might think that you’re getting away with a lie but in reality, your manager or agent might be responding like I did. They might start ignoring you and giving your auditions to someone else.
Your handlers have to trust that you’re going to pay them when you get a cheque. If they can’t trust you, then it might be their best strategy to stop investing their time in you.
Be forewarned: it’s a bad idea to lie to the people who have the power to make you a star!

Subscribe to updates by email …also available as RSS or Google

Written by Verna Lane
ACTORS 911©
Personal & Professional Survival Guide for Actors
http://actors911.com
©2011 VERNA LANE BOOKS All Rights Reserved

UNCOMMON SENSIBILITY

Verna Lane — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 12:01:00 +0000

I found this on a random facebook page but the source was unknown. Whoever wrote this… I would hire that person in an instant. They show uncommon sensibility in this crazy age of unjustified materialism. This is the kind of person that I would hire, that I would trust with my valuables, that I would bestow with untold blessings. Kudos to you kid, whoever you are. – Verna

They Advertise Their Weakness

Verna Lane — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 10:16:00 +0000

THEY ADVERTISE THEIR WEAKNESS

Once your mind is trained to recognize weakness, you will begin to notice it everywhere. The fascinating thing about people's weakness is that they go out of their way to compensate for it - and so the weakness - or rather the cover-up - becomes the most prominent thing about that person. Here are some common examples:

THE FOOD ADDICT

One of the easiest situations to detect is the man who is overweight. Even if you know nothing about him, you can see clearly by his appearance that food is his weakness. For whatever reason, he is choosing food as the place to find his comfort. A person who overeats is not doing it for reasons of hunger because the body only needs so much food. Anything beyond basic sustenance is associated with an emotional need (excluding medical conditions). This person has an emotional need that is not being met. They are trying to bury their need - stuffing down their feelings or trying to feed their emotional hunger with food.
When you meet up with this man, you know that you can manipulate or influence him in one of two ways - either (a) by tempting him with food, or (b) to push buttons until you find the emotional need that he is trying to mask.
Later, I will share exacting strategy for using someone's weakness to influence them. It must be done in a delicate and strategic manner. For instance, the food addict is a connoisseur of food and drink. If you offer them an inferior or common product, then your gesture could be received as an insult and backfire on you.
For now, let's continue with other common weaknesses…

THE WOMANIZER

The womanizer is a man who uses women and sex as a form of entertainment. He generally has more than one mistress and feels rather proud to let you know that he can afford to BUY his "companionship" too.
As his weakness deepens, he will have a well-cultivated circuit of sexual services that he frequents. Think strip clubs, massage spas and escort services. The more of these components you see in his life, the greater is his weakness.
People are just objects to him – put there for his own gratification. He’s a fan of convenience so no one is off limits: some of his favorite targets are friends’ wives, wife’s friends – and according to Arnie - the maid is fair game too!
The womanizing man believes that he is showing off his power with this ability to attract women. Somehow he deceives himself into forgetting that he uses money, deception and/or fame to manipulate the women. He forgets that they are not with him for his gleaming personality.
What can you tell about this man? Two very important things: (one) that he does NOT have a satisfying sex life - for if he did, why would he be in constant chase for more?... and (two) he is desperately insecure. People who are oversexed are doing it for reasons other than sex. It is about (a) having power over another person because they secretly feel powerless,… or (b) it is about filling an emotional need because they feel empty and lost.
Men who can't say no to a sexual encounter are usually enraptured by the attention of the woman (even if she is being paid) because he needs desperately to believe that she likes him. He needs this because he feels unlikeable. He is insecure. In spite of his attempt to look powerful, this man advertises his weakness and makes himself a walking target for scoundrels who wish to manipulate him. They need only to dangle an attractive female who shows interest in him, and then he will be putty in their hands.

THE MAN WITH A TROPHY WIFE

Sometimes you don’t know about a man's private life but you do get to see his wife. If she is a trophy wife – an attractive woman who fills the room with her superior beauty – then this is the most obvious sign that you are dealing with a man who has the "womanizer weakness" (as detailed above).
When people pick a spouse who is above-average in their appearance, it is usually an ego-based decision. "I want people to see how desirable I am because an attractive person has agreed to marry me.”
But what if he just happened to fall in love with a beautiful woman and did not deliberately choose a trophy wife. How can you tell the difference?
If a man chooses a beautiful wife but her beauty is not her ONLY asset, then you can see that difference. She works on her other skills and develops herself into a well-balanced partner. She will not be so devoted to her appearance that it’s the only thing you notice.
However, when a woman feels that her beauty is the asset she was chosen for, then she works hard to maintain her appearance. As long as the man only values her beauty, she will continue to put in the effort – so as to validate her presence.
Her continued focus on beauty over the years is a clear sign of the man's ongoing weakness. For if he would accept her for more than just her looks, she would be able to evolve beyond that adolescent phase and develop herself in other ways.
Choosing a trophy wife is rarely based on compatibility or a winning personality. This man was willing to forfeit many other benefits (like having a help-mate, a soul-mate or a deeper connection) for the sake of having a beautiful trophy. His wife is reflective of his values: that women are more like objects that a man uses to accessorize himself, like a sports car or new Italian leather shoes.
If you want to influence this man, then you need only comment on “his obvious desirability” to have such a beautiful wife. If you do it with enough subtlety, he will let you in on a secret soon after... He will be eager and proud to boast about his mistresses and how they are EVEN MORE beautiful than his wife. This is your entrance to his private world. If you keep commenting on his "obvious desirability" there is no end to the secrets this man will reveal, given enough time.

THE PARTIER

The partier is someone who can be lured to ANY PARTY… ANY TIME. They are always looking for action and they feel special to be a part of it. Once again, this person is overcompensating for a weakness. After all, going to parties and meeting self-involved strangers who don't care about you is NOT GENUINE FUN. It's actually a very empty experience that puts them at risk and leaves people feeling EVEN MORE EMPTY afterwards. But the partier will keep seeking this experience over and over again because they can't stand the thought of NOT being invited. Most often, they don't even WANT to be there, but they just can't deal with the silence of being in their own company and wondering what is going on somewhere else.
This person over indulges in alcohol and usually drugs. Why? Because the party life is a total bore without putting yourself in some kind of haze. Socializing with people who don't care about you is a lot of work. It's much easier done with a little alcohol to ease the tension.
This person can be lured in so many ways that your options are unlimited. Basically, they want to be ANYWHERE ELSE with ANYONE NEW. You can keep them in your grips for months or years with an endless cycle of invitations. They rarely take time to think clearly so once you've got them in your hooks, they are not usually strong enough to end the cycle.
Even if they try to stay home and "have a quiet night", you can easily break them down by showing up at their door with some alcohol and an upbeat mood. If you want to guarantee your entrance, bring along at least one new person that looks intriguing. Remember, the partier can't turn down the chance to meet "someone new".

THE EYE-CATCHING BEAUTY

The beautiful woman is not necessarily weak, but her beauty is a weakness onto itself. She is a walking contradiction who appears to be strong and "without need for anything". But her flawless appearance is a façade intended as a smokescreen. She is overcompensating for a lack in some area.
If she was a well-balanced and satisfied person, even a natural beauty would not bother to fix herself in such a way as to be flawless or eye-catching. Haven’t you ever seen those Hollywood paparazzi shots of beautiful starlets caught in public without their makeup, wearing their gym-clothes? Those are beautiful women but they are not seeking attention in that moment. These are the most beautiful women on the planet – and yet they look quite average when they don’t put much effort into their looks. Without the makeup, hairstyle and carefully selected clothes, a gorgeous woman will not be “eye-catching”.
The thing that makes a woman "eye-catching" is the EFFORT that she puts into her appearance. That effort comes at a cost and it is only done because that woman has a need that she is seeking to fill. So if you see a woman that is flawless or eye-catching, it’s safe to say it’s because she is seeking attention.
What kind of attention is she seeking? Perhaps she is looking for a revenue stream… her next husband… or maybe she is so insecure that she cannot bear the thought of leaving home without all her masks and compensations. To a woman who uses her looks to get through life, it can be impossible for her to leave the house "naked" without her tools of manipulation… her looks.
This woman has always relied on her appearance to get through life and - as a natural result - she has not had to develop other aspects of her character. Mark my words; something will be lacking in her life once you get to know her. Somewhere she has paid a price for all the time and money she has put into her appearance.
If she is a model (the most beautiful of all women) then she is even MORE likely to be full of insecurity about her looks. Why?... because she is surrounded at work by other beautiful women (sometimes MORE beautiful than she). Her employers critique her every flaw and digitize her every curve with photo-shopping-fixes. How can she feel good about herself under those conditions? Every day, this woman’s assets are in steady decline as she ages. The other women - younger and more beautiful - are nipping at her heels, competing for her place. Furthermore, people assume that she knows she is beautiful and so they often fail to give her compliments. This all leaves a very weakened person who is starving for compliments. If you find genuine and subtle ways to compliment this woman (and not always about her looks, try to find genuine compliments about her intellect or her skills) then she will be putty in your hands. Her beauty is her curse and you can use that to your advantage.

AND MANY MORE…

There are many other obvious weakness types such as the shopaholic, the perfect wife, the gambler, the do-gooder, the workaholic and the martyr, just to name a few. We will explore these types in depth at a later time.

Written by Verna Lane
MASTER THE UNSPOKEN©
How to Hear What They're Not Telling You,
and Influence People without Saying a Word

http://mastertheunspoken.com

©2011 VERNA LANE BOOKS All Rights Reserved

I Live With the Pigs #101.1

Verna Lane — Wed, 25 May 2011 19:59:00 +0000

I live with the pigs
I eat with the pigs
I eat whatever the pigs eat
I sleep with the pigs
I play wherever the pigs play
I do whatever the pigs do
When I look out in the pasture, all I see are pigs
I think therefore, I must be a pig

MORAL of the STORY:

It's easy to forget who we are when we surround ourselves with too much of one thing. There’s nothing wrong with hanging out in the pigpen, but if you’re not really a pig, then isn’t it nice to have options when the butcher appears?!

SATISFACTION 101: Lesson # 1

Get variety in your life instead of sticking with only the people you're comfortable with. Base your identity on solid personal values instead of what everybody around you is doing. Develop healthy principles that bring genuine happiness. Determine who you are in the quiet moments without distraction. Tune out the actions of others so that they are only background noise. Other people’s choices should not be your compass. Let your own actions be based on personal need that is carefully contemplated instead of reacting to random external stimulus.

Want to increase your satisfaction in life?
Subscribe to email updates for SATISFACTION 101

Written by Verna Lane
MASTER MY GAME©
Understand and Control Your Blind Spots http://mastermygame.com

©2011 VERNA LANE BOOKS All Rights Reserved

There’s Always a Price [Advice For Men]

Verna Lane — Sun, 22 May 2011 15:34:00 +0000

Excerpt from the book:
MASTER HER GAME©
Understand and Influence Women for Mutual Benefit

There’s Always a Price

Women always want something from you. The burden is on you to figure out what exactly she wants. Here’s why it matters:

If she flirts with you, then you might think it's just your "package" that she's after. But women are not that base. She may, in fact, be into your “man parts” but that is never… I repeat, never… the only thing. There's something behind her interest that is fuelling her attraction.

She is surrounded by sexual opportunity all the time. If all she wanted was sex, then she could get it without leaving the house - even if she is not that hot. The average woman can get sex anywhere, anytime - if that's ALL she wants. But since she CAN be choosey, she may as well create a checklist and charge a price of admission. She selects her next sexual partner by finding a guy who has something more going for him (than just his package). She's looking for a bonus in the crowd, something ELSE he can offer that will close the deal in her mind.

The Woman Always Chooses

If you walk into a bar and start flirting with a woman, you might think that YOU chose HER. If she responds to you, then you believe she is reciprocating on your advances. But it's not that simple. She has already sized you up and chosen you - or rejected you - before you even utter your first flirtation. In fact, she probably sized you up when you first walked in the door. Women are like that. They like to do a lot of planning and judging.

How Women Choose

What do women want from you besides "just sex"? Some want romance… stability… a team player to build a family… a financial rescuer… an emotional crutch… to make someone else jealous… to make a baby… to have control over a man (i.e.. blackmail a married man or someone in power).

The most common goal for women is marriage. Although that’s not the case for ALL women, so don't get your brain stuck on stupid. You have to figure out what each woman wants based on the clues she gives you. Women will tell you what they want. You just need to learn how to listen. For the sake of simplicity, we'll assume the woman in this story is looking for marriage…

PHASE ONE: ADMITTANCE

All too often, women are seeking a fairy tale. It's impossible for you to live up to. It has no identifiable goals, just vague and miraculous details that don't resemble any realistic setting. She will want to believe that you can walk on water… unless you actually clear the air and let her know that you can't.

Women are trained to think this way from a young age. They are taught to believe in the fairy tale ending. If the two of you hit it off when you meet, this might start the "fairy tale video" playing in her head. She will analyze you as a person and the similarities between you. She's looking for signs; intangible subjective magical markers that will reveal to her whether or not you are the prince made for her fairy tale.

This is the "admittance phase". She is determining whether or not you get in the door. Be sure that you even want "in" because the rollercoaster is about to take off. There is no easy way to stop the ride once she lets you in.

PHASE TWO: SETTING THE BAIT

Let's say, for instance, that she has already decided you ARE fairy tale material. This moves you forward to phase two "setting the bait". You might still be on the first drink and she's already imagining you in a tux with green cumber bun as the priest says; "Dearly beloved…"

You think that all signs look good that you're getting laid tonight. Her shoe dangles from her toes and her cleavage is heaving. She licks her lips and laughs at your (probably lame) jokes. "This chick is really into me" you think… "I'm definitely getting some action tonight". Meanwhile, she is thinking "Wow, this guy is so into me. I could definitely see myself married to him".

Can you see where this is leading? If you take her home and dip your wick, then you had better be ready for the ride to get bumpy. If you ARE genuinely into her as a possible girlfriend, then the worst thing you can do is to dip your wick too soon. There are a dozen reasons why "early lift-off" will backfire on you, but more about that later.

If you are NOT serious about her, then you might think it's safe to "dip and run". But it's never safe. If she has already gone through phase one (admittance)… and phase two (setting the bait)… then she is now on phase three and your next move will take you right into dangerous territory…

PHASE THREE: SEALING THE DEAL

Once a woman has reached phase three, if you accept her advances and dip your wick, then you are agreeing - without ever saying a word - that you want to "seal the deal".

What does that mean – sealing the deal? Well, it depends entirely on what she wants; whether it's marriage, romance, babies, money or control. They aren't ALL bad. Some of these can be the best thing that ever happened to you. But the real trick here is to know which one it is… and whether or not it's a price that you are willing to pay. Let's say that she wants romance and you're up for some of that too. In that case, this could be the start of something exciting.

There's always a price to pay when a woman flirts with you. It's NEVER a free ride. So before you get on the ride, always find out what’s the price of admission… and whether or not it's something you're prepared to pay for.

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Written by Verna Lane

MASTER HER GAME©
Understand and Influence Women for Mutual Benefit

http://masterhergame.com

Why Arnold Schwarzenegger Put His Movie Career on Hold

Verna Lane — Fri, 20 May 2011 11:21:00 +0000

Sample from the book:
MASTER HIS GAME©
Understand and Influence Men for Mutual Benefit

Yesterday the news revealed that Arnold Schwarzenegger is putting his career on hold.

(read that story on reelzchannel.com)

Why would he do that? His personal scandals are not likely to have any negative impact on his movie career. He is risking a major multi-million dollar loss if those movie producers switch to another leading man. So why would he do it? Why would he risk so much money to put his career on hold? The official statement from his agency (CAA) says the reason is to "focus on personal matters".

Most women will believe this means he wants to "focus on his family". But common sense would tell us that this man is not someone who genuinely cares about his family. Imagine the number of lies he must have told his wife over 25 years so that he could carry on so many affairs. The number of times he lied must be staggering. This is not a man who had a temporary lapse of judgment. This is a man who never really cared about the consequences his behavior might have on his family. This is NOT a man who would take time off from a multi-million dollar career, just to "focus on his family". However, in spite of the staggering evidence to the contrary, most women will believe he’s pausing his movie career to care for his family. Why? ...because they WANT to believe it. They want to believe in fairy tales and happy endings.

Men believe in happy endings too, but a different kind (and that's a whole other subject!)

When men read the headlines about Arnold putting his career on pause, most of those men believe he’s doing it for a different reason. The men are probably much closer to the truth. The most likely reason why any man would put his career on hold - especially a narcissistic egotistical self-serving man like Arnold - is to protect his future income. It's no coincidence that we also heard this week that his wife, Maria Shriver, has hired an excellent divorce attorney. Arnold smells the path this situation is taking. He smells his money walking out the door and into Maria's share of the settlement. Such a proud and selfish man would not allow such a thing. He probably does not care that she was forced into giving up her career as a successful reporter so that he could be Governor. His money is HIS money and she will be hard-pressed to see it on the table when their settlement begins. Most likely, he has even gone so far as to cancel any movie contracts. Once the divorce is final, he will re-sign them all.

Maria is a smart woman and I'm sure she has some understanding of the situation. But there are millions of women out there who are thinking; "Wow, that Arnold is a sweet guy. Look what he's giving up so that he can repair his family." … Nonsense! Don't believe it!

Want to know what men are really thinking?
Subscribe to email updates for MASTER HIS GAME.
Get in the loop to keep your romance alive and well!

Subscribe to updates by email …also available as RSS or Google

Written by Verna Lane

MASTER HIS GAME©
Understand and Influence Men for Mutual Benefit

http://masterhisgame.com

Blessings Upon Japan

Verna Lane — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 07:31:00 +0000

photo credits

Blessings upon Japan and the people who are struggling with this tragedy. Blessings upon the workers who bravely fight to restore balance and those sacrificing themselves to protect the greater good. Bless you.

› posted by Verna Lane ››› AUTHOR and REBEL

Thank you Charlie Sheen

Verna Lane — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 07:12:00 +0000

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Thank you Charlie Sheen… your insanity is such an excellent reminder for all recovered addicts and alcoholics. As for myself, it’s been 20 years since I gave up drugs, and sometimes I forget what the insanity was like (because it’s been so long since I lived in that cycle). Thank you Charlie, for reminding me so clearly what it looks like to be a total assh@le living in an advanced state of denial.

In spite of my gratitude, I feel a little bit sorry for Charlie. If he ever gets clean and sober, he will have one helluva nasty experience to see his current behavior in the proper light. We all have to live with that when we get clean; what seemed so normal while we were stoned, becomes embarrassingly unacceptable once we get clean. Charlie’s awakening will be more embarrassing than most, since he unravelled so publically and destroyed his golden career in the process.

For a time, the character on “Two and a Half Men” resembled the real-life character that Charlie Sheen had become. As his behavior became increasingly reckless, so did the character on the show. It’s as if the writers had to keep the character believable – by making him a drunkard when Sheen showed up for work under the influence. So the writers wrote a lot of scenes where the character of "Charlie Harper” was drunk.
But now, the reverse appears to be happening. Charlie Sheen’s behavior is so radical and reckless that he seems like a character from a sitcom, or a cartoon. It’s impossible to take him seriously anymore. I find his words rather comical (in a sad sort of way). How can this man be believable as a leading man in any movie? The viewer won’t be able to forget the comic anger of Charlie Sheen when they see him on the screen.
I can hear the air being sucked out of Charlie Sheen’s career with every word he speaks.

Thanks Charlie for giving us lowly fans a glimpse into your private thoughts, so we can see and hear what your friends and family have tolerated for so long. While you think that you’ve been enlightening the world about all the people who’ve done you wrong… in fact, you’ve been enlightening us about who you really are… someone who is no longer worth the cost of a ticket.

~ Verna Lane

PERSPECTIVE

Verna Lane — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 09:05:00 +0000

Sometimes, a different perspective can suddenly make you a lot smarter! Never shy away from the opportunity to have a new perspective.

The change of mindset has great power to change things for the better in your life. New perspectives bring enlightenment... enlightenment brings evolution… evolution is key to find your satisfaction in life.

(photo taken from Calgary Tower - click image for source)

› posted by Verna Lane ››› Author & Rebel

THE DYSFUNCTIONAL INHERITANCE

Verna Lane — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 08:15:00 +0000

THE DYSFUNCTIONAL INHERITANCE

Having a dysfunctional childhood almost always leads to becoming a dysfunctional adult. Here's a basic overview of how that happens:

A child's brain is programmed with whatever it experiences in early life. If the child experiences a dysfunctional childhood during the vulnerable time when their brain is still forming, then it will become a comfortable habit for them to live in that setting. Living in chaos and uncertainty becomes a habit, not a choice. It's like putting a car on auto-pilot. Their brain will automatically seek to repeat the patterns of their childhood throughout the rest of their life.

Habits are very difficult to break. But this kind of habit is especially hard - nearly impossible - because the child might not even realize that they’ve been exposed to “faulty information” about how the world works. They've never known any other way.

It's like the car on auto-pilot that has only been programmed with faulty instructions. Imagine driving through New York City and not knowing that your GPS system is only equipped with a map of Chicago. You would know that something is wrong but it’s so confusing to put your finger on the problem while you’re busy driving.

This problem – the child’s “blind spot” - is usually propagated by the fact that dysfunctional parents have a way of keeping their kids away from “straight” kids (the ones who grow up in healthy, functional homes). This is how the dysfunctional child might not know how they compare to life on the outside of their own little family circle. Their parents are instinctively controlling the situation to keep it that way. The child who grows up with violence secretly believes that violence exists in all families, but some families are better than others at covering it up.

When the child reaches their teens, they begin to realize that some families are "straight", meaning that those families are not fuelled by violence (or whatever the dysfunction may be that plagues this teen). The teen doesn't know how to find comfort among straights and they feel out of place whenever the “straights” are around. This discomfort will eventually grow into an insecurity about being judged by the straights. It’s not necessarily true, but it’s how they feel. So the teen seeks out other friends who are familiar with dysfunction. This feels comfortable because it’s natural (in the same way that an addict will feel most “natural” when they’re getting a fix). Natural means “without effort”… “the path of least resistance”. It's not unusual in high school for a child of violence to be best friends with a child of alcoholism. They share the awkward code of conduct that comes with being in a dysfunctional family. Usually they've both grown up in a setting of chaos and sensationalism. Their world is inconsistent and unpredictable. These two kids share a comfort and a habitual need for chaos. They recreate chaos in their time together. They revel in their stories of chaos that happened since the last time they were together. Chaos has become a habit, ingrained deeply in their brains.

As for that "code of conduct", they quickly adapt to one another's need for privacy. If one of them should show up with a black eye, it is highly possible that the other would not even ask about it. Probably they would just make light of it with a joke, like "you should see the other guy". Only a straight person would dare to ask the awkward question of "what happened?" The dysfunctional buddy would never cross that line because they understand that the answer is probably something they don’t want to hear. Violence in the home, stays in the home. Or, at least, that's the code of silence they are each taught by their parents; the violent parent as well as the frightened spouse who lives with them.

This teen will grow up into adulthood surrounded by a tight circle of dysfunctional pals. They will choose a life partner that falls in this category too. When the dysfunctional person first discovers "love", they will feel grateful that they've found someone to give them complete acceptance. This new partner sees that they are "screwed up" but loves them anyway. It can be a glorious experience for a dysfunctional person to find love. As time goes on, they will begin to realize that their partner also has many quirks, but they will reason that it's a small price to pay for finding love.

This is the evolution of two dysfunctional people bonding. Their secrets will stay between them, since they've both been raised to honor the privacy of dark secrets. They will usually spend their lives like crabs in a bucket. If one should try to seek therapy and change their patterns of behavior, the other will be sure to snap at their feet and drag them back down. Dysfunction needs supporters in order to exist. These partners will not let the other go free or "get well". If one partner is allowed to "get well" then they might wake up and realize how troubled the other person is. And so, the two of them will become dependent on each other as a way of assuring themselves that they are not alone in their state of “brokenness”. This is referred to as "co-dependency". Each dysfunctional person is deathly afraid of finding love in the "real world" but they are also afraid of "being alone". Therefore, he/she will stay in a bad relationship over any other option.

The dysfunctional person will stay within the tight circle of dysfunctional friends and keep recycling the same people in their lives. For instance, an ex partner doesn't always stay "ex". That relationship might be recycled a dozen times even though it does not work for either person. These two people are both likely to feel that anything is better than to risk the judgment of straights by trying to mix in the “real world” beyond their dysfunctional circle.

The dysfunctional adult who evolves into a parent will repeat patterns with their offspring that they've learned from their own childhood. At first it will feel like a comfortable sweater, to say and do what their own parents did. It will feel like an amusement ride to be "all grown up" and finally "in control". Sometimes that control will be taken too far, because this dysfunctional adult is someone who never had much control as a child. So they will make up for that now.

As their own children start to get bigger, some tough questions will arise: "Why did grandma used to hit you so much. Is it because you were bad?" or "Why does grandpa drink so much? Doesn't he know that it's bad for him?" Whatever answer is given to that child will determine the path of their future. For instance, usually the parent will make light of the answer because that's what they've been programmed to do (sweep things under the rug). More importantly however, the parent will likely lie in this moment because to tell the truth would mean revealing to the child that something is wrong in their own family unit. You see, the alcoholic grandfather likely spawned an alcoholic son. The violent grandmother likely spawned a violent daughter. So the adult being asked a simple question from their own child cannot admit that it's "bad" to drink too much, or that it's "bad" to use violence as punishment. To admit such a thing would be to admit their own inadequacies. So the adult being asked a simple question will usually respond with a simple, but fake, answer; "I wouldn't say that grandpa drinks too much. He works hard and just likes to relax at night." And now, the child has been programmed with faulty logic. The cycle of dysfunctionalism will continue for at least one more generation.

Only when a parent is honest with their child can there be a chance of breaking the cycle. But honesty is not something usually found in dysfunctional homes, so this is unlikely to happen. However, if the parent could dare to reach beyond their comfort zone and be honest with the child, then maybe - just maybe - the family has a chance to reinvent itself as a happy and functional one.

Written by Verna Lane

http://mastermygame.com

The Great Dave Jarritone

Verna Lane — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 08:17:00 +0000

photo credits

One of my clients; "The Great Dave Jarritone" ... funny guy.. weird.. but very funny ;-)

FIND OUT MORE AT FishSpies.hme.tv

› posted by Verna Lane ››› AUTHOR and REBEL

COOL SCI.FI

Verna Lane — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 22:13:00 +0000

photo credits

This photo reminds me of OMNI MAGAZINE. It was one of my favorites growing up (yeah, not the typical girl fodder is it?). My mom kept taking it away from me, something about “science and Christianity don’t mix”. Maybe she was just saying that and what she actually had a problem with was the fact that the magazine’s founder was Kathy Keeton, long-time companion and later wife of Penthouse magazine publisher Bob Guccione. Whatever the true reason, OMNI Magazine was pretty cool and definitely advanced for its time in the early 80’s. The editor described the magazine in its first issue as "an original if not controversial mixture of science fact, fiction, fantasy and the paranormal"[1]. I guess this had a lot to do with my fascination of the metaphysical world and the intersection between fact and fantasy.

see OMNI’s complete wikipedia profile

› posted by Verna Lane ››› AUTHOR and REBEL

The Great Illusion

Verna Lane — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 15:40:00 +0000

The Great Illusion…

It is the “ILLUSION of satisfaction” that compels us to chase things in life… the ILLUSION of what we THINK will happen to us when we reach that target. But in fact, the things we chase are not likely to be the same things that give us true satisfaction.

› posted by Verna Lane ››› Author & Rebel

website › Satisfaction101.com

Verna Lane — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 15:38:00 +0000

click image to open website
Satisfaction101.com

DEFINED: PROPAGATE

Verna Lane — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 19:41:00 +0000

PROPAGATE
prop·a·gate Verb /ˈpräpəˌgāt/
Synonyms:

verb: spread, disseminate, multiply, breed, diffuse, reproduce

Cause (something) to increase in number or amount

Spread and promote (an idea, theory, knowledge, etc.) widely

Transmit (motion, light, sound, etc.) in a particular direction or through a medium

source

DEFINED: DYSFUNCTIONAL

Verna Lane — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 19:33:00 +0000

DYSFUNCTIONAL

Not operating normally or properly
the telephones are dysfunctional
Deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad
an emotionally dysfunctional businessman
dysfunctional families
source

DEFINED: STRAIGHT

Verna Lane — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 07:56:00 +0000

STRAIGHT

In this book series, the term STRAIGHT refers to a person – or group of persons – who come from families which are NOT fueled by violence, alcoholism or other dysfunctional settings.

A STRAIGHT person is someone who comes from a healthy and functional family environment.

It’s important to mention that every family has their own set of problems and so the word NORMAL is not appropriate for this book series. When it comes to human beings, there is no such thing as “NORMAL”.