tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33699443963365973182024-10-24T06:43:22.308-04:00Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-44047286537500763922014-07-13T16:16:00.000-04:002014-07-15T08:04:51.820-04:00

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend that I've known for over 15 years. Honestly, I cant even remember what we were talking about. But at one point in the conversation she tells me that she remembers around the time we first met that she and a few other mutual friends were having a conversation about me when one of them said with a mix of frustration and admiration, "That Vanessa......she

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-3780470588724406752013-09-08T14:19:00.001-04:002013-09-08T15:20:57.572-04:00

It still all feels surreal. It was a year ago, September 12th to be exact, that this journey began. We found out that Ernie had Stage 4 lung cancer. He was only 44. He had never smoked. It didn't make sense. We were devastated, confused, and scared. But, as we would all come to learn during the year that followed, Ernie was special. He was a warrior with a heart of gold. From the moment he

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-29071804896621637222013-07-15T07:45:00.002-04:002013-07-15T07:45:50.158-04:00

Today I turn 39. I always make a point of giving myself a gift on my birthday. But for this birthday none of the typical types of gifts I usually give myself interested me. This year...it would have to be something different. Something more. Something life changing. And then it hit me. Next year I will be 40. My 30's have been a time of significant transformation. I

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-88534470893417292812013-05-24T21:36:00.001-04:002013-05-24T21:36:18.655-04:00

I can remember it like it was yesterday.  It was eight years ago (May 25th) that I officially became Emily's mom and my life forever changed. Before Emily, my life was part awesome and part disaster! I didn't always make the greatest decisions and I struggled with a lot of anger, frustration and sometimes even depression. I just couldn't seem to get it right. Then there was

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-4475320069485495722013-01-14T11:19:00.004-05:002013-01-14T11:19:54.008-05:00

I've always been a bit LOUD.  Not only am I literally LOUD but I guess you can kind of say that I've always lived out LOUD meaning that I have always lived my life very out in the open for all to see. Throughout the years I've encountered people that enjoy and are entertained by my 'loudness'. And I've also encountered those that are put off by it and just don't get it. I never really

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-41125225548016331682013-01-06T21:01:00.001-05:002013-01-06T21:01:18.006-05:00

I originally intended to do my first blog post of the year on the 1st. But, I wasn't quite ready yet. Ready for what...I'm not sure. But I felt like I had still needed time to think about how I felt about this coming year. 2012 was everything a year is supposed to be. There were betrayals and tragedies...blessings and surprises...good news and bad news...the ending of

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-83464599631675135622012-10-26T20:01:00.001-04:002012-10-31T13:14:28.314-04:00

I'm sure we have all been there. Or know someone who has been there.  You're just going along, living your life, thinking we have all the time in the world to figure it all out. And then suddenly...there is Cancer. You or someone you love finds out that they have Cancer. And life is never the same again. I have known many people that have died of cancer. Many of them were old when they

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-73343348224020421232012-06-14T13:49:00.000-04:002012-06-14T14:35:03.669-04:00

Those of you that have been following my blog for a while now know that I have talked about being in a FUNK on and off over the past few years. You may also have noticed that I have not had any posts since I wrote about the betrayal incident in January. Well, needless to say I went into another FUNK after that betrayal and it took me a while to get myself to a point of understanding what

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-65723137422225866012012-01-30T10:44:00.000-05:002012-01-30T10:44:55.713-05:00

As always, we start every new year full of hope and excitement about what the year will bring. I ended 2011 on a really strong and upbeat note and felt sure that I would transition into 2012 on the same note. I was certain that 2012 would be an amazing year. Then, before the first month of the year was even over I was hit with the revelation that I had been betrayed in such a sick, demented,

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-65940951680128989302011-12-30T18:20:00.003-05:002011-12-30T20:52:16.987-05:00

I can hardly believe that 2011 is over. It's been quite a year! I can honestly say that 2011 has been one of the best years of my life. From the outside looking in, I'm sure it seemed as though nothing major really happened. But what did happen was a critical internal shift in my perspective on life...and that shift has made all the difference. I started 2011 in a not so great place. Little

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-34270698725388064902011-11-19T21:57:00.004-05:002011-11-19T22:31:24.686-05:00

For as much transformation as I feel I have gone through since starting this blog over a year ago, every so often I have a setback and feel as though I haven't actually made any progress at all. Intellectually, of course, I know that I have. But in the emotional center of the setback all I can see and feel is where I am in that moment and nothing else that I have accomplished seems to matter.

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-30495064082542021002011-10-09T20:44:00.000-04:002011-10-09T20:44:19.027-04:00

For most of my life I have longed for something great...for something beyond me...beyond the life I was living day to day. I never seemed to want what everyone else around me wanted and I always felt that I was never satisfied by the things that seem to satisfy others. I believed that I was crazy for feeling this way and that I should just learn to accept my reality and find a way to be content

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-21576458041840215112011-08-28T11:14:00.001-04:002011-08-28T12:14:38.288-04:00

Friends have always been a very important part of my life. I was never very trusting of people and it took a lot for me to let someone in to my inner circle. But...once they were in I gave them 150% of myself. I was honest, loyal, loving, caring, supportive, etc. And...I expected the same in return. Often, I didnt get it. But...they were my friends. So regardless, I maintained my loyalty to

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-42646134539999182502011-07-23T18:32:00.002-04:002012-12-30T21:05:25.607-05:00

First of all let me clarify the word love in this context... At this point in my life I feel like I can truly say that I have never known REAL love. I have come to a place in my life that I believe that REAL love (at least the kind of love I'm looking for)requires both people be open and honest and able to give and receive from a place of wholeness. I believe that only from that place can a

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-43516047211911551462011-07-15T21:18:00.000-04:002011-07-15T21:18:38.078-04:00

I can't believe it has been a whole year since I started this blog! Happy Birthday to me...and my blog! I have to say this has very proven to be the BEST year of my entire life...in so many ways. From making the initial choice to start this journey and put my life out there for all to see...experiencing my daughter go through Kindergarten...getting stuck in a funk which I would later learn

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-6141705835560040922011-07-06T10:44:00.002-04:002011-07-25T13:55:24.990-04:00

From the moment the story hit the news back in 2008 I was captivated...for many reasons. First and foremost little Caylee and my daughter were just a few months apart in age so at the time the story was breaking I kept watching the images of Caylee flash on the screen and then would look back at my own daughter and I would be overwhelmed with many different and sometimes contradictory emotions.

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-42951232249443172612011-05-01T16:41:00.002-04:002011-05-02T10:01:08.702-04:00

The story of my Faith has taken many turns throughout the years. I started out a good little Catholic girl. I was born and raised Catholic and went to Catholic school most of my early life. I read the Bible, prayed the rosary, went to church, etc. I had even briefly considered devoting my life to God and becoming a nun because of how much I admired the devotion of the nuns at my school. I

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-31019934612962275112011-03-21T14:43:00.001-04:002011-03-21T14:44:40.962-04:00

I have always felt 'different' from everyone around me. Sometimes, even a little embarrassed about the places my mind would go. Everyone else always seemed so 'normal' and I always felt like everyone thought I was crazy. So, over time, I started taking on that perspective and believed that I in fact, was crazy...and everyone else was normal. And...over time I began to tone myself down to

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-25439764137499407792011-02-14T10:50:00.003-05:002011-02-14T11:23:19.114-05:00

Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate LOVE. I've never been a big fan of the holiday...perhaps that's because I was never really and truly in love before so I didn't 'get it' and so I didn't feel that it really pertained to me. Of course, whenever I was in a relationship I did the customary celebrating with my 'other' and some years when I was single I would gather with my other single friends

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-71677082399460442172011-01-29T23:36:00.002-05:002011-01-30T09:39:08.069-05:00

One of my dearest friends just recently lost her dad. I feel very lucky to have had the honor of getting to know him fairly well over the past few years. He was one of the kindest, happiest and most gentle souls that I have ever had the honor to meet and spend time with...and I know that I am a better person for having known him. Upon his death, as with all deaths, his friends and family

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-74906539797713062552011-01-19T15:53:00.000-05:002011-01-19T15:53:02.699-05:00

I'm ANGRY...and I now realize that I just need to FINALLY acknowledge it! In my quest to constantly challenge myself to learn and grow and try and be a 'better person', I have been trying to deal with a recent situation by 'rising above it' and not resorting to 'old patterns' to get through it. Instead of feeling hurt...I've tried to understand. Instead of feeling angry...I've tried to be more

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-4646166632900411782011-01-01T13:59:00.002-05:002011-01-03T16:31:37.013-05:00

Every year most of us attempt to make resolutions for the new year only to forget about them somewhere along the way because we either give up or just get too busy and distracted to focus on them. I, myself do this year after year. And as disheartening as it may be to get to the end of yet another year not having accomplished the majority of the goals I had outlined for myself, I never give up

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-62545292472796002692010-12-28T21:56:00.004-05:002011-01-03T16:24:38.449-05:00

I won't bother with sharing all the details of how I learned these lessons because I dont want to continue to dwell on what happened...I've already done more than enough of that! I prefer to focus on the lessons that this experience has taught me and the gifts it has left me with......so here they go... LESSON #1) Not all men are assholes... Seriously?!?!?! Who knew?!?!?! Well it's not that I

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-4445316422092687932010-11-26T21:02:00.001-05:002010-11-26T21:34:39.584-05:00

It's always good to stop every once in a while and count your blessings.  Sometimes we get caught up in the day to day complexities of life and forget to stop and smell the roses and realize that there is plenty to be thankful for...no matter what!  And what better time to stop...smell the roses...and count your blessings than Thanksgiving?!?! So...here it goes... I am thankful

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369944396336597318.post-41038513271387229282010-11-04T16:58:00.002-04:002010-11-05T09:55:36.171-04:00

So...if you've been following my posts...you know that I've been in and out of a funk for a while now...and while I love my puppy and he does provide the occassional distraction...the funk was still there. This helped me to realize that I was not going to avoid my way out of the funk and instead I needed to get down and dirty with it if I was going to overcome it...and I've been doing just that.

Vanessa (VIP)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17858229811050684894noreply@blogger.com0