A few weeks ago I taught this class live at the famous Standard Hotel in Miami. It was a killer class chock full of wisdom, inspiration and practical tools. Listen in and learn more about the basic Buddhist philosophy that can change your life. As well as how to begin meditating Buddha style.

Just click the link below and let me know what you think. Would love to hear from you.

Learn Meditation (with a Buddhist Twist) 

I never really felt like I fit in. I felt too NYC, sarcastic and edgy to fit in with the “peace and love new-agey” crowd. But too spiritual and deep-talking to feel a part of the typical urban scene. I started to hide parts of myself, straddling the fence keeping my mystical weirdness in the closet and my straight-talking tendencies at bay. Till I found meditation and had the epiphany that set me free- I fit everywhere. As soon as I expanded past my boundaries of who I thought I was, and who I thought I should be, I felt a part of everything, implicitly essential to the whole. Somedays I forget this; I still get flashes of my inner sense that I’m on the outside looking in. But then I sit on my cushion, I let my mind expand and I’m back to knowing I’m a part of it all, which gives me more courage to let my personal freak flag fly on the regular. If you feel like an outsider or loner, if you feel like you’re playing small, hiding something, toning it down or pleasing others, take a meditative seat, or go outside and look up taking 10 deep breaths expanding your mind like the blue sky. Expand past what you think you know and revel in the freedom of feeling what is- you’re integral and connected to it all. One love y’all.

Buddha said there were 2 types of suffering- the kind you can’t control and the kind you heap on top of it with your mind. He likened this type of mental suffering to shooting a second arrow into a wound. It’s almost more painful then the original injury.

On days where my mind begins to spin I use tools to ease myself.

First I make space for the feelings without judgement. It’s natural to have good and bad days- judging yourself doesn’t help. Then I do simple mindful breathing. In my head I say “breathing in I feel my belly inflate, breathing out I feel it deflate.” This brings you into present and calms you down. Last I try to be in nature or beauty. Nature feeds your soul and gives you the kind of refreshment you need to find the positive again.

If you’re going through something in your life give it a try. We can’t control everything but we can aim to find beauty- even with the challenges.#spiritualfitness

Years ago I came to identify myself as a misfit, as someone who was somehow irrevocably fucked up and strange. Naturally, this belief created a ton of pain in my life. Till I realized (with a lot of inner work) that this idea was just a trip that my mind created in my childhood to explain experiences that I couldn’t make sense of as a kid. Neuroscience shows that we are constantly defining our reality and our experiences by creating stories about what everything means. It’s likely a safety mechanism designed to protect ourselves in the future based on what we’ve seen in the past. But the fucked up part is that we carry these notions created by our child minds into our adulthood. We build defenses, beliefs and habits around them. Inadvertently we come to worship and put our faith into these “identity projects”- even when they hurt- because we forget that WE actually just made them up so long ago as kids. Liking consistency we imagine we are who we are and nothing can ever change. I had one client who told me that they couldn’t help getting angry when people upset them because it’s who they are. That’s confusion- anger is a habit, not an essential quality of self. You may think you are your inner critical thoughts, or your depression, or your self-sabotage or anxiety… but that’s only because you’ve come to believe the illusion. We all habitually overidentify with our feelings, thoughts and behaviors in ways that keep us stuck.

There are two ways to begin to shift into new possibilities. The first is insight- if you really recognize the ego game though you gain the freedom to break out of your too tight identity and expand into your biggest, fullest most radical self. The other is meditation. Research shows that meditation turns off our default mind that’s always making up stories. By doing so it brings you more into the present moment where you can be with who you are without the constriction of the past. If you have any questions or reflections share them in the comments! Would love to hear from you.

Be weird when others are “cool.” Be kind when someone is cold. Be open when others are shutdown. Be brave in a room full of fear. Forget what others do. Live by your own code and be the one that changes the rules of the game.

One of the most insidious, life-crushing lines is “but they said.” My mom said I shouldn’t be an artist. My boyfriend said I should just be happy with my career. My ex said I was too passionate. To walk a spiritual path you have to ditch the beliefs and “identity complex” that keep you stuck and playing the roles others have boxed you into. This is your life. Go for what you want and fuck what “they” say.

For sure perspective is everything- there were days in my life when despair was thick and I didn’t see the point. Others when I was ecstatic just to smell flowers on the air. Last week I had a moment where for the first time I felt happy to feel my sadness. I welcomed it as just another poignant experience of aliveness. Nothing material has changed in my life. What has shifted is my mind. What has opened is my heart. What has happened is I’ve become present enough to truly enjoy the whole shebang. Everything is more precious to me- including all of you. It’s always useful on a spiritual path to remember the fleeting, flowing, magnificent nature of it all. Hopefully this reminds you to hug tighter, love more, say what you have to say, do what makes you happy, and go for what you want. And if today you’re not feeling like it’s all beauty- then I hope you know I’m here sending you some love.

Presence is one of the keys of #SpiritualFitness. But if you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin you’ll hop up into your thoughts or fantasies instead of staying in the moment. If you’re not experiencing the joy, gratitude, or ease regularly you may have a “presence problem.” To FEEL goodness we have to be present. To be present we must be embodied.

We can have a hard time being embodied because we have emotions we haven’t dealt with, or judgements about ourselves or others. Or we can simply have a life long habit of honoring logic over gut instinct.

Spiritual Fitness is built systematically. If any of this rings true for you don’t start with advanced meditations or practices. Begin with just keeping your attention on your breath. Follow the inhale as it enters your nose and fills your lower belly. Then follow the exhale as it deflates your stomach and exits your nose. Try this for 15 breaths per day to start.

Building the muscles of presence will not only prepare you for advanced meditation it will bring you the ability to drink in all of the goodness around you.

There is a powerful concept in Buddhism called “Basic Goodness” that can transform your life in fundamental ways.

In my 20’s there were 2 painful beliefs that haunted my mind. The first was “If they only knew me they would not love me.” The second was that I was somehow uniquely and irrevocably broken. Sadly, many clients express similar ideas about themselves.

Psychotherapy was profoundly helpful in shifting these beliefs- sharing things you’re ashamed of with an empathetic person definitely creates healing. Only I still felt that somehow I was damaged and had to work on “fixing” myself.

Buddhism brought a new possibility to my life- the understanding that we’re innately good. In Buddhist wisdom we’re born pure and full of potential. Experiences, beliefs and actions can form like layers masking our original goodness but our magnificent essence can never be broken or tainted. Joy, peace and ease are our nature and to recover them all we simply need to strip off the patterns and habits that hide our essence.

This may seem like a simple difference. But as someone who grew up with the concepts of original sin in a culture where guilt permeated the atmosphere I can say this nuance changes a lot. The moment you accept there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with you, you experience a new level of hope and freedom. Then it’s not a matter of IF you can reclaim happiness and a sense of confidence and self-love, it’s a matter of when and how.

May you all recognize the basic goodness in yourself and others today. If you have questions about this just ask me. xo

Genuine freedom is found when you learn to silence your mind. In the silence you catch the falsity of your negative thoughts and the beauty of reality. In the silence your true nature awaits you. #streetwisdom #spiritualfitness#silenceyourmind #meditation