Vanity Plates: Creepiness in 8 Characters or Less

The Jesus-mobile

2009-12-20T05:54:00.003-06:00

VAN4JC (Van for Jesus Christ?) was snapped by LadyStyx. Not only are the residents of the state of Virginia crazy, they love the Lord as well.

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Than to receive your vanity

2009-12-19T05:55:00.005-06:00

Smoochiefrog sends us BTR2GIV right in time for the holiday gift giving season. I assume this comes from the popular phrase, "It's better to give than to receive." It originates from the Bible, so you better get on that.

Now, go and buy me some presents.

I'm a cotton headed ninny muggins

2009-12-18T05:31:00.004-06:00

'Tis the season for holiday themed vanity! Our first plate today comes from Lindsey S., 1 QT ELF (One cute elf). I would have to say that this plate is pretty relevant for the month of December, but what do you do for the other 11 months of the year?

MooseNuggette sent in ELVSFN, which I know probably means "Elvis Fan," but you could also say it means "Elves Fan," no? Or Elves F'in...? Ho, Ho, Ho?

You're a boob

2009-12-17T05:08:00.000-06:00

PERKY was captured by Heather A. The dictionary defines perky as: Lively or enthusiastic; Standing upright; firm.

So as far as I am concerned this vanity plate is either describing this drivers 1) Personality, or 2) Boobies. To that I say: Enjoy them while you can, honey.

FJ Loser

2009-12-16T05:28:00.007-06:00

We've bashed Jeeps, Mini Coopers, PT Cruisers, Smart cars, Mustangs, and a whole bunch of others, but today it's the FJ Cruiser's turn.
These first two plates are from Brianne O. The first is FJ QTR. Is that "QTR" supposed to translate somehow to "Cruiser?" Or "cutter?" Or is is FJ Cuter? [barf]

BZ BEE (Busy bee). How creative. Your SUV is yellow and black. Bzzzzzz. Zzzzz. Zzzzz.

Our final FJ plate is from Samantha H., KRUZAH. Saying "cruiser" that way makes me feel like punching the air out of someone. *Ninja chop!* KRUZ-AH!

Death before decaf

2009-12-15T05:13:00.005-06:00

As much as I need a cup of caffeine right now, I would never, ever, put that thought on a vanity plate. Do you really want to be that person with the bumper sticker that reads, "I HAVEN'T HAD MY COFFEE TODAY... DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU?" Yeah, I didn't think so.

Our first plate is from MooseNuggette, CAFENE (Caffeine). She writes: My drug of choice.

Shannon sent in CAFN8ME (Caffeinate me). One strike for using an 8. One strike for that terrible vanity plate holder. And one strike for driving a Mini Cooper (HI-YO!). You're out.

XPRESSO is from Ben B. Yeah drink espresso... Do stupid things faster with more energy!

Our last plate is from platty, [STAR]BUCKER. Stars on vanity plates?! California, you are wild!

Now why don't you just buck on out of here with that plate, ya hear?

Shagadelic

2009-12-14T05:21:00.004-06:00

I love my Twitter platerazzi. Nothing satisfies me more than plate rage in real time. @annetne sent me this message a couple of days ago:

This was the attached photo: WNA SHAG (Wanna shag?). HA! I really hope this is about carpet, or catching fly balls, and not what I think it's referring to.

Virginia, you are dominating the Hall-of-Shame.

Ugh, this straight jacked is so RESTRICTIVE

2009-12-13T05:07:00.005-06:00

Keith S. sent in KRZ 4GD (Crazy for God) for this week's Sunday Lovin' the Lord submission.

Just how crazy is this driver? Crazy enough to spell "crazy" with a "K."

Man, that is INsane.

Pessimism FTL

2009-12-12T05:39:00.005-06:00

PESIMSM (Pessimism) never works man. The worst is yet to come. Optimism?! Like that does any good. The light at the end of the tunnel? A speeding train headed my way. My blood type? B negative. The pessimism meeting tonight? Cancelled. No one would come anyway.

So just remember, if everything is coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.

[Photo credit to Tim B.]

My mustache brings all the girls to the yard

2009-12-11T05:17:00.001-06:00

Andi H. captured this picture of STACHE, which I assume refers to a moustache. While some facial hair can be quite dashing on a man, you have to do it right. Otherwise, you just end up looking creepy. Am I right ladies?

Regardless, I got a good chuckle out of this vanity plate. This driver must really be rocking a good one.

Looks like someone forgot to remove your probe

2009-12-10T05:50:00.001-06:00

Ah yes, aliens... Is there a creature in this universe so misunderstood than you? Vanity plate owners, perhaps?

AREA 051 on the back of this mothership is from Sara S. Area 51 is a military base in Nevada. According to wikipedia, it's secretive nature and undoubted connection to classified aircraft research, together with reports of unusual phenomena, have led Area 51 to become a focus of modern UFO and conspiracy theories. Some of the activities mentioned in such theories at Area 51 include: (1) The storage, examination, and reverse engineering of crashed alien spacecraft, the study of their occupants (living and dead), and the manufacture of aircraft based on alien technology. And (2) Meetings or joint undertakings with extraterrestrials.

The Word Wire sent in UFO 007. She writes: Shhhh. Don't tell anyone -- this guy is totally on the DL. He's a spy. A UFO spy. I'm sure that's top secret stuff.

Wear your seat belt, dude. It makes it much harder for the alien beams to suck you out.

I love this yarn SO MUCH.

2009-12-09T05:35:00.003-06:00

How do I know crazy cat ladies are crazy? Well, back in May I write a post titled Ferfect on our site and added the word "ferfect" to the urban dictionary. Clearly, SOMEONE had an issue with that (see the definition directly below ferfect). Here is some FURther evidence of these people's cat craze:

From the official Crazy Cat Lady, Carm, comes the vanity plate PURRZ, which I know isn't referring to the noise of this car's engine, because she found it at a cat show.

BUFF CAT is from Amanda. She writes: Oh good, I hate when I get behind an overweight cat. The exhaust is brutal.

MEOWFUL is from Nancy. Her only comment was: Here's a new one fur ya. And do you see this license plate holder?!

CATSRCK (Cats rock) is from platty. Although, when I first saw it I thought of Cats 'n' Racks. Boobs and cats-- every man's dream. Speaking of which...

CAT-DAD is from Barb T. A very rare breed, indeed: The Crazy Cat Daddy.

Me-ow.

Identity Crisis II

2009-12-08T05:20:00.002-06:00

Our good friend Joe F. sent in NY PLATE (New York Plate?). He writes:

I think someone's confused.

Someone is definitely confused. That clearly looks like a Virginia plate to me...

Unsurprisingly, this isn't our first Virginia identity crisis.

Smug leads to Global Laming

2009-12-07T05:18:00.009-06:00

Diona sent in this Honda Insight's plate, E FICENT (efficient). After looking at some of the specifications, it can get 63 mpg. Although those specifications failed to mention the smugness you feel as a result.

Marla writes: I saw this plate [PASTGAS] on a Toyota Prius at a shopping center... and I couldn't resist snapping a photo... PASTGAS? Really? ...Double entendre, anyone?

Mmm, farting Priuses. Wait, what is the plural of Prius? Prii?? Meh, who cares. Pffffttt.

Smells like brimstone in here

2009-12-06T05:55:00.004-06:00

Sara S. brings us this week's Lovin' the Lord Sunday plate, HELF1RE (Hell fire). She writes:

Do they really let you put things like that on plates? I wouldn't have thought so, but there it was. Crazy.

End note: Do you like facebook? We do too! Join our platerazzi there. I promise no weeping and gnashing of teeth (at least for the time being).

A Thick One

2009-12-05T05:46:00.007-06:00

I can't think of anything that is more pleasant than imagining your vehicle filled with skulls, the bony skeleton of the head. Maybe you are a big fan of the movie? Maybe you are a collector of skulls (*shudder)? Maybe you like digging through owl poop? Maybe you hurl them from the driver's side window when anyone cuts you off? Whatever it is, I'm scared.

Plate was captured by Kolleen.

Your Mom

2009-12-04T05:33:00.000-06:00

Aw man, mom! Do we really have to ride in the Montero to school?!

Melani X. sent in MILFFY. A MILF, according to the urban dictionary, is an acronym that does not need to be repeated here, so to "kindly" put it:

MILF: a HOT mom you'd wanna hit all night long.

Ew. TMI.

I'll be using these to my advantage

2009-12-03T05:18:00.005-06:00

DOUBL DZ is from Keith S. He writes: One can only assume we're talking about female endowments. I guess that's what they meant, but even then, jeez.

Or maybe they are a fan of Dunkin' Donuts?

So what will it be, my platerazzi? Boobies or donuts? (I know for some of you, this choice will be difficult.)

I read your e-mail

2009-12-02T05:02:00.001-06:00

ILHACKU (I'll hack you) is from Kolleen. I assume this means this driver is a hacker of computers. Nerd alert!

Also, when hear the word hack I think, "to cut up into small bits." Um, no thank you.

The only thing that needs to be hacked now, is this plate.

To a pulp

2009-12-01T05:39:00.001-06:00

Here's another eye-roller for you: I B3AT U (captured by Sara S.). That 3 is supposed to be a backwards "E" making this, "I beat you." Also, I think I am able to fit my whole head in that tail pipe. Is that really necessary? What are you hiding in there? Your ego?

I know this is probably referring to the fact that this person will beat me in a street race, but I think you'll scare away most women with this on your plate. Now stay out of my lane, Mr. McCreeperson.

I'm not fat; I'm "fluffy"

2009-11-30T05:13:00.002-06:00

After all of that...

BUTTAH (butter),
HAGNDAZ (Haggen-Dazs ice cream),
APPLE PI (Apple pie for nerds),
and CAKE last week...
This week I am going to eat nothing but SALADZ (and leftovers, of course).

Plate credit:
BUTTAH - MooseNuggette
HAGNDAZ - Erika S.
APPLE PI - Bonnie Z.
CAKE - Heather M.
SALADZ - Kolleen SALADZ! (You don't make friends with SALADZ!)

You decide

2009-11-29T05:23:00.001-06:00

Kate found this Lovin' the Lord Sunday gem, HVN R HL (Heaven or Hell?). She writes: Welll....hmmmm....lemme think about that for a minute.

Although, I guess this could mean numerous other things... For example, "heaving our hole."

It's a tough job, but someone has to heave that hole.

The Swine Flu gets vaccinated for Chuck Norris

2009-11-28T05:03:00.000-06:00

For everyone who has survived or currently has the Swine Flu (or H1N1 as they are calling it these days), I present to you the SQUEALR from platty. The custom (and I'm pretty sure it's custom) license plate holder reads GO HOG WILD. Oink!

What a terrible time to be a pig fan, eh. *ACHOO*

Barely Illegal

2009-11-27T05:44:00.003-06:00

Sarah sent in 18 N UP (18 and up). I am assuming this is referring to a law that describes how it's illegal to have sexual relations between two individuals when one of the participants is below the legal age to consent to that behavior. In this case, it's 18 years old.

But I am still trying to figure out why this driver would put this on a PUBLIC vanity plate. I'm pretty sure you'll impress NO ONE with this plastered on the back of your car.

Reminds me of this related vanity plate fail: Hide your children.

I give thanks for green bean casserole. And vanity plates.

2009-11-26T05:30:00.005-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The only turkey plate I could find in the archives was from Michelle B, GOBBLR 3. I can only hope this car is being piloted by a real-live turkey. Gobble, gobble, gobble.

THKSx2 (thanks times two? Thanks, thanks?) is from Misha H. She thinks, however, that this driver may be giving thanks for another reason. She writes: The alimony payments must be hefty.

Our last plate today comes from MooseNuggette, GVTHNX (Give thanks). That "x" is a bit nauseating, no?

And while the vanity plate owners are giving thanks for things, we'd also like to give a big thanks to all our readers, platerazzi, tweeters, facebookers, and everyone else who makes this website the joy it is (even you, vanity plate owners)! You rock.