Vassago

2026-05-05T14:00:10.734+01:00

If the prodigal son had never left home,

the fatted calf would still be alive

2026-05-05T13:59:28.008+01:00

There will be mistakes,

and maybe the point is not to forget the rest of yourself

if one little part might go bad

2026-05-05T13:59:07.174+01:00

The worst job in the whole world must be recycling toilet paper

2026-05-05T13:58:48.156+01:00

A lot of people try to impress the world and buy too many things

2026-05-05T13:58:29.831+01:00

The club is too loud to talk,

so after a couple of drinks, everyone feels like the centre of attention

but completely cut off from participating with anyone else.

You're the corpse in an English murder mystery

2026-05-05T13:58:06.730+01:00

pump the hand pump

until the plumbing was superpressurized to 110 psi.

This way, when
someone goes to flush a toilet, the toilet tank will explode.

At 150 psi, if
someone turns on the shower, the water pressure will blow off the shower
head, strip the threads, blam, the shower head turns into a mortar shell.

2026-05-05T13:57:41.550+01:00

You do the job you're trained to do.

Pull a lever.

Push a button.

You don't understand any of it

, and then you just die

2026-05-05T13:56:45.574+01:00

We have to show these men and women freedom by enslaving them,

and show them courage by frightening them

2026-05-05T13:56:07.395+01:00

The things you own end up owning you

2026-05-05T13:55:46.406+01:00

Watching white moon face

The stars never feel anger

Blah, blah, blah, the end

2026-05-05T13:54:37.177+01:00

Without just one nest

A bird can call the world home

Life is your career

2026-05-05T13:54:16.465+01:00

This is our world now,

and those ancient people are dead

2026-05-05T13:54:00.001+01:00

There are bodies buried everywhere

you just have to know where to look

2026-05-05T13:53:35.605+01:00

Nothing is static

2026-05-05T13:50:21.170+01:00

you're not how much money you've got in the bank.

You're not your job.

You're not your family,

and you're not who you tell yourself.

You're not your name

You're not your problems.

You're not your age.

You are not your hopes.

You will not be saved.

We are all going to die, someday.

2026-05-05T13:49:10.824+01:00

The perfume,

all those dead whales in the cuts in her hands,

it stings

2026-05-05T13:48:37.764+01:00

Napoleon bragged

that he could train men to sacrifice their lives

for a scrap of a ribbon

2026-05-05T13:48:18.002+01:00

the woman in Dear Abby who married a handsome successful mortician and on their wedding night, he made her soak in a tub of ice water until her skin was freezing to the touch, and then he made her lie in bed completely still while he had intercourse with her cold inert body.

The funny thing is this woman had done this as a newlywed, and gone on to do it for the next ten years of marriage and now she was writing to Dear Abby to ask if Abby thought it meant something.

2026-05-05T13:47:20.111+01:00

all the things that people love intensely and then dump an hour or a day after.

The way a Christmas tree is the center of attention,

then, after Christmas you see those dead Christmas trees with the tinsel still on them,

dumped alongside the highway

2026-05-05T13:00:47.596+01:00

You take enough blasting gelatin and wrap the foundation columns of anything, you can topple any building in the world.

You have to tamp it good and tight with sandbags so the blast goes against the column and not out into the parking garage around the column.

“You can mix the glycerin with nitric acid to make nitroglycerin," Tyler says.

"You can mix the nitroglycerin with sodium nitrate and sawdust to make dynamite," Tyler says.

"You can mix the nitroglycerin with more nitric acid and paraffin and make gelatin explosives,

The nouvelle cuisine of anarchy.

Barium nitrate in a sauce of sulfur and garnished with charcoal.

That's your basic gunpowder.

Bon appetit

You take a 98-percent concentration of fuming nitric acid and add the acid to three times that amount of sulfuric acid.

Do this in an ice bath.

Then add glycerin drop-by-drop with an eye dropper.

You have nitroglycerin

Three ways to make napalm:

One, you can mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate,

Two, you can mix equal parts of gasoline and diet cola.

Three, you can dissolve crumbled cat litter in gasoline until the mixture is thick.

A paste of lye and water can burn through an aluminum pan.

A solution of lye will dissolve a wooden spoon

2026-05-05T12:59:16.668+01:00

You’re a projectionist and you’re tired and angry, but mostly you’re bored

so you start by taking a single frame of pornography collected by some other projectionist that you find stashed away in the booth,

and you splice this frame of a lunging red penis or a yawning wet vagina close-up into another feature movie.

This is one of those pet adventures, when the dog and cat are left behind by a traveling family and must find their way home. In reel three, just after the dog and cat, who have human voices and talk to each other, have eaten out of a garbage can, there’s the flash of an erection.

2026-05-05T12:58:29.783+01:00

We are God's middle children

with no special place in history and no special attention

2026-05-05T12:23:46.777+01:00

the all-singing, all-dancing crap of this world

the toxic waste by-product of God’s creation

2026-05-05T11:24:42.538+01:00

Recycling and speed limits are bullshit.

They're like someone who quits smoking on his deathbed

2026-05-05T11:24:25.571+01:00

Generations have been working in jobs they hate,

just so they can buy what they don't really need