VeeeATCH!

True Patriot Love

2011-04-27T03:49:00.004-04:00

Canada's general election is a week away (May 2, 2011). As of this post, revolution is in the air...joining our embarrassingly high per capita C02 emissions. But before I address any of that, it's important to know how we got here.

I previously introduced you to the opposition leader, Michael Ignatieff. Today I'll introduce you to our incumbent prime minister, Stephen Harper (Conservative Party of Canada):

Stephen Harper is a leader who can be trusted to run the country, manage the economy and protect our security in the greater public interest at a time of global uncertainty. Uniting our federation – and keeping his commitments – he is delivering on a people-focused agenda.

Source: Conservative Party of Canada

If anything, he's a remarkably honest man. Here he is, issuing a warning to Canadians who might vote for his party:

Stephen Harper warned “a party that does not have the interests of this country at heart, will be looking to exploit any incoherence or instability for its own purposes.”

Source: Globe & Mail (2011)

Such a disclaimer should not come as a surprise. I don't understand why all the opposition parties keep harping on about Harper's "hidden agenda". The guy has publicly written about his desire to "not have the interests of this country at heart":

During and since the recent federal election, we have been among a large number of Albertans discussing the future of our province. We propose our province move forward on the following fronts:

1. Withdraw from the Canada Pension Plan
2. Collect our own revenue from personal income tax
3. Start preparing to let the contract with the RCMP run out in 2012 and create an Alberta provincial police force
4. Resume provincial responsibility for health care policy. We can afford the financial penalties Ottawa might try to impose under the Canada Health Act.

As economic slowdown, and perhaps even recession, threatens North America...It is imperative to take the initiative, to build firewalls around Alberta.

Once Alberta's position is secured, only our imagination will limit the prospects for extending the reform agenda. To cite only a few examples, lower taxes will unleash the energies of the private sector; easing conditions for charter schools will help individual freedom...

Sincerely yours,

Stephen Harper, President, National Citizens' Coalition

Source: National Post (2001)

International readers are probably wondering why Canadians put this fugitive from the Branch Davidians in charge of our federal government. After all, Americans would only trust him to lead Texas...not the entire country.

In our defense, over 60% of us voted against him. Hell, even his own compound thinks he's kind of nutters.

A clear majority of Albertans reject the hard-edged "Alberta First" provincialism being promoted by prominent conservatives in the province, a new Globe and Mail/CTV poll suggests.

The survey of 750 Albertans, conducted last week, showed a large majority of Albertans support national programs such as the Canada Pension Plan and the Canada Health Act.

The Ipsos-Reid poll tested public support for a manifesto published recently by six prominent Alberta intellectuals, who urged the provincial government to build a "firewall" around the province by withdrawing from national programs.

Stephen Harper, a key proponent of the provincialist strategy, said yesterday that he is not disheartened that his views have apparently not been embraced by the majority of Albertans.

"I think there is a lot of flux to these ideas -- they are really just beginning to take hold," Mr. Harper said.

Source: Globe & Mail (2001)

Naturally, our british electoral system rewards such popular support.

So why do less than 40% of Canadians support this man? Some people hate taxes like the Abrahamic religions hate babies with foreskin. It doesn't have to make sense. They're dirty & someone needs to cut them without pity.

Hands off Venezuela!

2011-04-22T04:49:00.004-04:00

Now that's "Foreign Aid" !

He's from Texas. He's a Republican. He's not Ron Paul. Despite these obvious intellectual disabilities, Congressman Ted Poe makes a coherent argument against government waste:

Alternate Video

I agree, cutting $400 billion is really not much of a cut, especially in these times when Congress continues to spend more and more money. Maybe it's time to reconsider our foreign aid that we send to countries throughout the world.

Now, this map over here to my left shows the world, and most of it is in red. All of those countries that are in red on this map receive American taxpayer foreign aid.

We don't separate the countries one at a time and vote up or down on whether they ought to get American money. I think if we did that, most of these countries in red wouldn't be seeing any American money. With the way the rule works, we put all 150-plus countries in one package, and we vote for all of them.

...we just keep sending it and sending it and sending it, and we send it to countries that many Americans don't even understand why we send it to those countries...

But here is something that most Americans may not know about. We give money to Venezuela. Why do we give money to Chavez and Venezuela? He hates the United States. He defies our President, makes fun of our Nation. We don't need to give him any foreign aid.

Source: Congressman Ted Poe

Of course, you could nitpick.

The United States appears "in red" on the congressman's map, even though it only receives Chinese - not American - foreign aid.

As for Venezuela, Americans may not approve of George Carlin's rule over that country. But they're sure to support the reconstruction efforts taking place on Maria Corina Machado's face:

In fiscal year 2010, the Venezuela account showed $6 million. For fiscal year 2012, the administration has requested a little less for Venezuela -- $5 million.

The funding comes from the Economic Support Fund, which, according to the State Department, "promotes stability and U.S. security interests in strategic regions of the world."

Members of a local group called Súmate who had received U.S. aid for a project on electoral observance "were accused of conspiracy and betrayal. The trial against them, which was initiated in 2003, is still pending."

In a 2006 article based on Freedom of Information Act requests, the Associated Press reported that Chavez accused his opponents of taking "gringo money" to undermine his regime.

Source: PolitiFact

Of course, that's not fair.

Perhaps this money is supporting doctors, nurses, & generic drug producers looking to improve the lives of the most destitute and needy.

Or perhaps Dambisa Moyo was right all along, and all this money ends up in the hands of a corrupt cabal:

Another administration document says aid helps "strengthen the capacity of non-governmental organizations to monitor and report on government performance" -- in other words, to be a watchdog of the government, not a supporter.

Source: PolitiFact

Of course, it's a judgment call.

Sure, they could fund NGO's who support the government in dealing with crippling droughts & floods.

But then who would give the U.S. State Department's annual 'Human Rights Report' that air of impartiality?

Venezuela is a multiparty constitutional democracy with a population of approximately 28 million.

The following human rights problems were reported by nongovernmental organizations (NGOs), the media, and in some cases the government itself: unlawful killings, including summary executions of criminal suspects; widespread criminal kidnappings for ransom; prison violence and harsh prison conditions; inadequate juvenile detention centers; arbitrary arrests and detentions; corruption and impunity in police forces; corruption, inefficiency, and politicization in a judicial system characterized by trial delays and violations of due process; political prisoners and selective prosecution for political purposes; infringement of citizens' privacy rights; restrictions on freedom of expression; government threats to sanction or close television stations and newspapers; corruption at all levels of government; threats against domestic NGOs; violence against women; trafficking in persons; and restrictions on workers' right of association.

Source: U.S. State Department

Of course, impartiality is priceless.

Precisely because it doesn't exist:

Venezuela worse, Colombia better on rights: US

Human rights conditions worsened over the past year in Venezuela, but improved in Colombia, the US State Department said Friday in an annual review.

In Venezuela, ruled by firebrand President Hugo Chavez, the US cited a litany of abuses including "unlawful killings, including summary executions of criminal suspects; widespread criminal kidnappings for ransom; prison violence and harsh prison conditions."

In Colombia, the Santos government "made demonstrable advances in improving the human rights environment" and implemented new policies to accelerate the return of land to displaced families.

Source: Agence France Presse

Of course, Congressman Ted Poe is right.

...we just keep sending it and sending it and sending it, and we send it to countries that many Americans don't even understand why we send it to those countries...

It's time we reconsider foreign aid and save American taxpayers money. We are at war in two countries now. This debt is tremendous. We have a lot of issues in this country, and we need to start taking care of America before we start sending American money to countries throughout the world. It's a time to reconsider foreign aid.

Source: Congressman Ted Poe

Liberez Nous Des Liberaux

2011-04-18T04:35:00.003-04:00

Canada's general election is only a few weeks away (May 2, 2011). Given our natural resources & strategic location...you're probably wondering what emerges when an oil-rich heiress straddles the worlds greasiest gigolo.

But first, an important message from Canada's intelligence agency (CSIS):

Richard Fadden, the director of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service, told CBC News in an exclusive interview: "We're in fact a bit worried. We have an indication that there's some political figures who have developed quite an attachment to foreign countries."

Source: CBC

Yeah yeah, whatever.

Today, we meet the leader of the honourable opposition (Liberal Party of Canada), Michael Ignatieff:

He has been a writer, a journalist, a teacher of human rights, and a proud voice for Canada on the world stage.

He is a leader who listens. Since he was elected to Parliament, Michael has travelled to every province and territory, sharing his vision with Canadians in communities large and small.

Source: Liberal Party of Canada

If you haven't heard of him, don't worry - neither have we. Nobody saw him for 30 years, then he just showed up one day. The news told us an international superstar had arrived to lead us into globalization. I don't know...Global TV said the same thing about Kevin Newman & Dawna Friesen.

In the 30 years that writer Michael Ignatieff has lived abroad, he has sometimes heard the opinion that what happens in Canada is neither interesting nor instructive to others. "This view of my native land is painful to me," Ignatieff writes.

So why does he stay away? "It's not easy to justify even to myself," Ignatieff says.

He wanted, he says, to get his name up on "the Big Board"- publications like the New York Review Of Books and the New Yorker, to which Americans pay attention. Now that he's accomplished that, he hints that he may be ready to return.

Source: Toronto Star (2000)

There have been Conservative attack-ads claiming Michael Ignatieff "didn't come home for you" (ie. the Canadian people). If you've ever seen HBO's polygamist drama 'Big Love', you'll know that it's not easy looking after four homes.

Ignatieff says his journey "home" to the Ukraine was emotional and he hopes it shows onscreen.

Source: Toronto Star (1994)

Ignatieff sympathizes with Ukrainian linguistic and cultural aspirations, but admits "I'm also what Canadians would call a Great Russian, and there is just a trace of old Russian disdain for these 'little Russians'."

This phrase -- a well-meaning, but condescending one -- would drive most Ukrainians crazy.

Source: Ottawa Citizen (1993)

For those who deny that there is an American ideology, Michael Ignatieff has a crisp rebuttal: "Yes, we do have an ideology and, like all ideologies, it doesn't believe it is one. It just believes that it is The Truth."

It is hard not to agree with Michael Ignatieff when he says: "There is nothing more frightening than American innocence. It's a fearsome, sometimes murderous innocence. Our inability to question our own motives is truly alarming."

Source: Vancouver Sun (2003)

Maybe I shouldn't judge. After all, we're a worldly peoples. We humour third generation Canadians who add prefixes to their nationalities. We encourage trips to Paris, so the Quebecois can hear what French really sounds like. We even tolerate Albertans & their various cow-related fetishes.

It's not like Michael Ignatieff's slagged off Canadians & pledged loyalty to a foreign nation.

[Michael Ignatieff writing in the Toronto Star]

There remains in the Canadian psyche what Freud called "the narcissism of minor difference" - a stubborn insistence on the small but vital inflections that make us different from the waning imperial culture to the south.

If Canadians want a quiet life, they may have to give up on Canada altogether.

Source: Toronto Star

[Michael Ignatieff writing in the National Post]

"Don't attack me, I'm a Canadian," is a very, very strong reflex in our country and always has been. And to be blunt, it is naive narcissism.

In Washington, I live my working life in a policy environment in which Canada is a kind of well-meaning Boy Scout. We have aligned our foreign policy with that multilateral vision of the world and our neighbours to the south don't like it one little bit.

Source: National Post

Michael Ignatieff, who teaches at Harvard, concedes American misadventures...but he is most influenced by stirring words he repeats here:

"First a wartime president, then a battlefield rabbi, then a black pastor -- all reach into the same treasure house of language, at once sacred and profane, to renew the faith of the only country on earth that believes in itself in this way, the only country whose citizenship is an act of faith, the only country whose promises to itself continue to command the faith of people like me, who are not its citizens."

Source: Chicago Tribune

The Good Wife - Taking on the world's toughest energy challenges™

2011-04-13T11:43:00.001-04:00

Either the leisure class has nothing better to do...
Or 'The Wall Street Journal' loved the psy-ops in 'The Good Wife' so much...they jizzed out an entire transcript of last nights episode:

Source: Wall Street Journal (April 13, 2011)

Former Senator Fred Thompson plays an actor turned lawyer who turns up, explaining that the Venezuelan government has nationalized Latin Star.

Chavez is changing the law so there can be no fair market assessment. He has that power whenever he sees it necessary to protect the interest of Venezuela.

“Oh my God,” says Will. “It’s like being in a Woody Allen movie.”

The judge then rules that it would be in everyone’s interest for Lockhart, Gardner to join Frank in representing Chavez in the lawsuit.

“Great,” mutters Will. “We have a dictator for a client.”

A lot of incomprehensible back and forth leads to Will getting $87 mill, the extra bucks explained as “standard surcharge for dictators.”

There was good reason to ignore Venezuela's countless internationally monitored elections, billions of dollars paid out for takeovers, & astoundingly uncharismatic lawyers.

The American government, CBS, & Exxon could not let 'The Apple Pirates' go unchallenged:

Source: CBC Radio 3 (April 12, 2011)

Watch this great bunch of kids called the Apple Pirates covering Arkells’ song “The Ballad of Hugo Chavez”.

Hahaha! Cute cover of an old song that still gets rotation up here:

Album: Arkells - Jackson Square

Song: The Ballad Of Hugo Chavez

Alternate Video

QUOTED FOR LIFE

New state officials
Are outside runnin' around...
They're telling the public
That I need...
To be put down

And Washington's saying...
Emphatically...
That I wasn't doing things
Democratically.

But in the...
(Pop! Pop!)
Night...
Of the sun...
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)

Let's go to Mexico!

2011-04-13T06:49:00.000-04:00

Freeze! You're surrounded!

Tired of being associated with rogues like these:

Source: New York Daily News

Of the 30 industrialized countries in the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, only Mexico, Turkey and the United States fail to achieve universal coverage.

Embarrassed by being singled out in lineups like these:

Source: National Geographic & What If Post

Countries with universal health care are represented by a blue line, those without universal coverage have a red line. The United States and Mexico are the only countries with red lines.

The graph compares the health care systems of developed countries in terms of cost per person, life expectancy, and number of doctors visits.

Click to enlarge

Mexico has decided to reform:

Source: Harvard Science

Seguro Popular, a Mexican health care program instituted in 2003, has already reduced crippling health care costs among poorer households, according to an evaluation conducted by researchers at Harvard University in collaboration with researchers in Mexico.

Among participating households, those suffering catastrophic health expenses were reduced by almost 60 percent, contributing to a 30 percent reduction in catastrophic health expenses across treatment communities.

Reinforcing their side of the border:

Source: Xinhua

Universal health care in Mexico is expected to be achieved next year, Health Minister Jose Angel Cordova said Friday.

The Northern state of Coahuila will be Mexico's first state covered with universal health care next week, and five more states with a population of 32.75 million or more will be under the same system in four months, Cordova told Xinhua in an exclusive interview.

The five states, which will be covered by universal health care, are Sonora, Chihuahua, Tamaulipas, Guanajuato as well as Mexico state, the most populous state with more than 15 million people.

Monopoly man! You are surrounded by socialized medicine!
Release your hostages & come out with your hands up!

UPDATE! Mexican authorities are reporting a spike in border activity. The illegal migrants claim they are fleeing a devastated homeland & only seek coverage:

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Be a menace to Cuba cuz the only thing they'll charge you for in Texas is your juice

2011-04-11T09:32:00.000-04:00

Texas executions: Strictly reserved for the radical chic

In a controlled environment, randomly selected jurors were presented with evidence most would consider "damning":

Source: Associated Press (March 15, 2011)

A New York Times reporter who interviewed a shadowy ex-CIA operative about masterminding bombings that rocked hotels, nightclubs and an iconic eatery in Cuba in 1997 is set to testify at his perjury trial Wednesday after long resisting taking the stand.

Transcripts of the interview included in court files have Posada saying, "in the hotels, we put small explosives because we don't want to hurt anybody. Just make a big scandal."

Italian tourist Fabio di Celmo was killed by an explosion in the lobby bar of Havana's Hotel Copacabana, and about a dozen others were injured in the wave of blasts between April and September 1997. A Cuban medical examiner testified earlier in the trial that di Celmo's throat was cut when the explosion blew apart an ashtray, sending shrapnel flying. Asked about di Celmo's death, Posada said, "It's sad because it's not intentional."

Bardach said she recorded only five or six hours of the 13 she spent talking with Posada. "He was damning on tape, but he was much more damning when it was turned off," she said.

Posada has since recanted statements he made to Bardach, saying they were in English, which he doesn't really speak. However, Posada lived and worked in Ohio, and also served as a translator while helping the U.S. support Contra rebels.

The New York Times gave The Associated Press additional excerpts. Those include a part where Posada says he understands English and declares he has a clear conscience, saying "I sleep like a baby."

Not surprisingly, the all-Texan jury confirmed what researchers have long suspected - offspring of the inbred possess significantly damaged frontal lobes (part of the brain responsible for language, planning, & judgment):

Source: McClatchy (April 8, 2011)

EL PASO, Texas -- After deliberating for three hours, a jury of seven women and five men acquitted Luis Posada Carriles on Friday on all 11 charges of lying to immigration officials about how he entered the U.S. in 2005 and his alleged role in bombings in Cuba in 1997.

The verdict was a surprise to many observers who had expected jurors to deliberate for several days and find Posada guilty on at least some counts. No one had predicted an acquittal across the board on all perjury, fraud and obstruction charges.

"I feel happy," said Posada, beaming. "I am supremely grateful to the United States of America, to the fairness with which I've been judged, to the jury that absolved me and what happened here should serve as an example for justice in my country, Cuba, which is unfortunately in the hands of a dictator."

Before this trial, researchers only possessed anecdotal evidence:

Source: The Daily Mail

George Osborne then recounted a meeting between Boris Johnson and George W. Bush a few years previously.

Bush appeared to be enjoying himself until he spied Boris's wrist.

'Are you wearing a Che Guevara watch?' asked Bush with a confused look on his face.

'It's actually my sister's,' blushed Boris.

'I don't care about that,' smiled Bush. 'In Texas we execute people for wearing Che Guevara watches...'

The wind began to HOOOoooWWWwwwLLll!

2011-04-11T09:30:00.000-04:00

Two riders were approaching...Two riders were approaching...

What's better than Springsteen & E-Street on a Friday?
Neil Young, Springsteen, & E-Street on a Monday!

Oh the gueeetars! The drums! The sax!
The spectacle of spectacled Max Weinberg pounding the bitch...
Fuck work!! Grab a brew! Light one up! Fuck Yeah!!

Album: Bruce Springsteen (featuring Neil Young) - Vote for Change Tour: St. Paul, MN

Song: All Along The WatchTower

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See y'all next week!

2011-04-07T08:54:00.001-04:00

In two hours, I'll be headed out west to Canada's newest hub of radical islamic terrorism. We'll see how progressive & tolerant they are when I walk around in a leafs jersey. It's a short trip, and I'll be back on Sunday night - killing the illuminati by Monday.

I leave behind a mom who thinks Calgary is one giant cow farm, friends who suggest driving back because the airport screens for BC bud, and a serb girlfriend who's threatened to cut me up like a kosovar - should I try anything (minus her views on the balkans, she's actually a very sweet person).

Won't lie, trips like these make my dick scream "freedom!". Luckily, my heart has faster access to my brain. Within an hour away from home, the violin starts looping in my head:

Album: Old Crow Medicine Show - O.C.M.S.

Song: Wagon Wheel

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QUOTED FOR LIFE

Walkin' to the south out of Roanoke
I caught a trucker out of Philly, had a nice long toke
But he's a' headed west from the Cumberland Gap...
To Johnson City, Tennessee
And I gotta get a move on, before the sun
I hear my baby callin' my name & I know that she's the only one
And if I die in Raleigh - at least I will die free!

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel, rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me...
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me...

Product Placement

2011-04-06T04:08:00.002-04:00

Antonio Sola puts the finishing touches on his new product.

Meet Michel Martelly, Haiti's first gay president:

Source: The Guardian & welcome2haiti

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In the years following Aristide's restoration to power in 1994, Martelly became obsessed with hatred for the man. In a video from not too long ago, which can be seen on YouTube, the candidate threatens a patron in a bar where he has performed. "All those shits were Aristide's faggots," he says. "I would kill Aristide to stick a dick up your ass."

How did the belly-button flasher who'd like to "stick a dick up your ass" become president?

Source: McClatchy

Though Martelly attended Haiti's prestigious Saint-Louis de Gonzague, he proved to be a lackluster student. He enrolled at Red Rocks Community College in Colorado in 1984, and later at what was then known as Miami-Dade Community College, but dropped out.

Through late-night shows, Martelly became associated with a Haitian elite class openly indifferent to the suffering of the poor majority. That show of defiance was on display in the early 1990s. After military leaders toppled the democratically elected President Jean-Bertrand Aristide in 1991, Martelly stayed, running a club with his wife.

The new Michel Martelly, always neatly dressed in a dark suit, engages in the kind of keen strategy that gets him photographed alongside former President Clinton. Martelly hired a Spanish consulting firm with right-of-center ties to help put a polishing touch on the biggest performance of his life so far: winning the Haitian presidency.

That "right-of-center" Spanish consulting firm is 'Ostos Sola', lead by Antonio Sola:

Source: Inter Press Service

In Mexico, Antonio Sola from Spain, who has ties to Spain's rightwing opposition Popular Party, and Dick Morris of the U.S., ex-consultant to former President Bill Clinton (1993-2001), advised current president Felipe Calderon during the tense electoral campaign in 2006 that led to his victory.

Sola and Morris -- who in 1996 resigned from the Clinton reelection campaign after his own affair with a prostitute, who revealed private White House information, came to light -- have been identified as the people behind Calderon's smear campaign against his opponent Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, who was the candidate of the leftwing Democratic Revolution Party (PRD).

Perhaps you'll recall his recycling of fascist era imagery in Spain & Mexico:

Source: Inter Press Service

The theme of the girl -- 'la nina' -- has triggered controversy. The Cuatro TV station reported that its origins can be traced back to Franco's granddaughter, Carmencita, whose grandparents voiced a similar phrase half a century ago. The station also pointed to similar words used by Mexico's current conservative President Felipe Calderon in a speech in a stadium in 2006, when he was a candidate.

According to the station, the 'coincidence' can be attributed to the fact that adviser Antonio Sola had worked for both Calderon and Guatemala's rightwing Patriotic Party & the Spanish PP candidate.

Maybe you saw one of his many spots in El Salvador, where Hugo Chavez apparently ran for president:

Source: Reforma

Sola llevó a las pantallas salvadoreñas las frases "Funes: un peligro para El Salvador" y, en referencia al candidato de Arena, Rodrigo Ávila, "el presidente del empleo". Las mismas que utilizó en el 2006 para denostar a Andrés Manuel López Obrador y promover a Felipe Calderón.

Los spots que advertían que el amigo favorito del candidato del FMLN era el presidente de Venezuela se convirtieron en los más numerosos. Según el coordinador de campaña de Funes, Roberto Lorenzana, al final de la campaña Chávez apareció más en la propaganda electoral que el candidato de Arena: de 6 mil 296 spots entre el 1o. de febrero y el 1o. de marzo pasado, 2 mil 852 fueron dedicados a Chávez y 2 mil 128 a Ávila.

Why is any of this important? Because Michel Martelly had his ideological opponents erased from the ballots - leaving only dusty musty Mirlande Manigat as his competition. Faced with virtually no challenge, his people kept the kids gloves on...taking the presidency with only 15% popular support.

They're saving all that dirty ammunition for the real campaign - which is just beginning.

I guess the earthquake destroyed math

2011-04-05T04:52:00.004-04:00

I asked these dumbasses to calculate the popular vote. They gave me performance art.

Haiti just completed its two-round presidential election process.

These were the final results from the first round election in 2010:

Source: CIA FactBook & Provisional Electoral Council

Haiti
Total population: 9,719,932
Total eligible voters: 4,712,693
Total votes cast: 1,074,056

Michel Martelly
Total votes cast: 234,617
Popular support among eligible voters: 5%
Popular support among the population: 2.5%

Mirlande Manigat
Total votes cast: 336,878
Popular support among eligible voters: 7%
Popular support among the population: 3.5%

Popular support among eligible voters

These were the preliminary results from the second round election in 2011:

Source: CIA FactBook & Haiti Libre

Haiti
Total population: 9,719,932
Total eligible voters : 4,694,961
Tota votes cast: 1,053,733

Michel Martelly
Total votes cast: 716,986
Popular support among eligible voters: 15%
Popular support among the population: 7%

Mirlande Manigat
Total votes cast: 336,747
Popular support among eligible voters: 7%
Popular support among the population: 3.5%

Popular support among eligible voters

And this was the batshit crazy analysis coming out of North America:

Source: The New York Times

One of Haiti's most popular entertainers was elected president in a landslide, according to results announced Monday.

It appears that Haitians believed that only a political outsider like Mr. Martelly could change the country's direction.

Source: Reuters

"Martelly's victory implies a rejection of the political class that has both governed and been in the opposition," said Robert Fatton Jr., a Haiti expert and professor in the University of Virginia's Department of Politics.

"Martelly captured the mood of the voters by cleverly using his 'bad boy' image to enhance his status as the ultimate 'outsider' who symbolized change," he told Reuters.

Source: Associated Press

“Micky is a political animal, and the political establishment failed to realize how much of a phenomenon he is,” said Garry Pierre-Pierre, editor and publisher of The Haitian Times, a New York-based newspaper. “This is a man who literally can get a million people to move to his groove.”

Hope these motherfuckers get buried under the landslide they're manufacturing.

Baby, come into me. Come into me.

2011-04-04T04:10:00.001-04:00

I don't envy the life of a PopStar. You dance on that fine-line between teasing & softcore porn. You can show off cleavage, but not nipple. You can sound sexually suggestive, but must refrain from phone sex. You can pop that booty, but never while on all fours.

Ever vigilant in enforcing these arbitrary regulations are government authorities, parent groups, & comedians. Cross them and you'll be condemned to a career in reality television.

So pity Rihanna when TMZ released this image:

It was so shocking, people began to look at her as a human being. One of God's frail creatures deserving of our love and compassion. In other words, the blood instantly rushed out of North America's collective cock - threatening her career as a PopStar.

She could have easily put out a sex-tape to win the erections. Instead, she stayed true to her profession & came back like a pro!

From ads promoting moisturized ~~cleavage~~ skin:

To the modelling of revealing ~~pasties~~ fashions:

And strategic leaks ~~of breasts~~ to the press:

These long & hard ~~dicks~~ efforts created a #3 album release:

Of course, it's much easier for men.

From promising not to play UFC with girls:

To re-connecting with fans on social media:

And softening the public image:

There's really not that much effort required to create a chart topper:

An intro & outro

2011-04-01T06:03:00.004-04:00

They gave him 25 to improve life.

Tell me a story?
In 1989, a radio host gave us an intro to a 17 year-old nerd. The kid promoted social justice & a meetup at the public library. Room 302, you could've learned alot by just being there:

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What happened next?
The kid went on to study all the prophets from Buddha to Allah - down to Bakunin & Marx. Drawing from the best of their ideas, he forged a new gospel. Not content to leave his legacy to disciples & scribes, he mastered song so that his church would be our hearts & minds.

Then what happened?
I've seen lots of explanations, theories, & laments. Immortal Technique rightly observed why such confusion exists: "What the industry did to Pac they did to Jesus - Rapin' his vocals and destroying his message."

So what really happened?
It's not so confusing if you listen to his words. A decent grasp of history doesn't hurt either. This website will put the pieces back together. Follow the progress by referring to the tag: The Greatest Artist Of All Time.

Okay, what happened in the end?
In 1996, another radio host introduced a 25 year old rogue. He was accused of promoting alot of things. It may not have been intended that way, but what followed was a beautiful outro:

Album: Makaveli - 7 Day Theory

Song: To live & die in L.A.

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QUOTED FOR LIFE

Shed tears as we bury niggas close to heart
What was a friend - now a ghost in the dark
Cold hearted about it - nigga got smoked by a fiend...
Trying to floss on him - blind to a broken man's dreams

&

Costs more to be free than a life in the pen
Making money off of cuss words, writing again
Learn how to think ahead, so I fight with my pen
Late night down Sunset liking the sin
What's the worst they could do to a nigga?
Got me lost in hell - to live and die in LA, on bail
My angel sing...

The issues facing tanned Canadians in a snow white election...

2011-03-31T04:47:00.000-04:00

One of these beauties is the lovely black Liberal MP Hedy Fry. The other seven have penis.

Are there any black conservatives in Canada?

Sure, her:

As a conservative party staffer, her duties include showing major cleavage, serving drinks, and mocking one of Canada's few black members of parliament...really just doing anything to please her blonde-haired-blue-eyed bosses:

MP Candice Hoeppner (right) with her staffer dressed as Liberal MP Hedy Fry

If that's what the conservative party does to a black chick who's into them...what're they gonna do to the rest of us? Ask my girl, these fingers were made for fucking, not handling fine crystal.

The time has come for strategic voting. No more voting for third parties, no matter how charismatic their leaders are. I voted for Joe Pantalone in the Toronto election, and we ended up with that fat farm fugitive Rob Ford. If I vote for the Bloc Québécois again, we'll end up with a conservative majority in parliament. Damn it! I really like Gilles Duceppe...

Quid Pro Quo

2011-03-31T04:35:00.000-04:00

Heee Heee! Heee! I own Al-Jeezy - and they'll never tell you how I helped kill Iraqis!

Source: Al-Jazeera's Dima Khatib

I hope Muammar Gaddafi understands that Qatar and UAE are not after his country's oil !!!!!! #libya #qatar #uae

25 Mar via web

That is only a secondary concern:

Source: Reuters (March 28, 2011) & Reuters (March 30, 2011)

A senior Libyan rebel official said on Sunday Gulf oil producer Qatar had agreed to market crude oil produced from east Libyan fields that are no longer in the control of Muammar Gaddafi.

Ali Tarhouni, a US-based academic and exile opposition figure, was designated last week by the Benghazi-based national council to steer its financial and oil policy.

"We contacted the oil company of Qatar and thankfully they agreed to take all the oil that we wish to export and market this oil for us," said Tarhouni.

A U.S. Treasury Department official said crude oil sales by rebels would not be subject to U.S. sanctions.

This is the primary concern:

Source: Wired (February 22, 2011)

Al-Jazeera is in discussions with Comcast, the nation’s largest cable operator, about bringing the network’s English-language channel to millions of U.S. homes, the Qatar-based news service said Tuesday.

The Comcast meeting was the first move in a new push by Al-Jazeera to get on U.S. cable systems, which have been reluctant to carry the Qatar-based news network. A Comcast spokesperson declined to comment on the talks.

It’s quite a turn of events for Al-Jazeera, which until its widely praised coverage of the unrest in Egypt was something of a pariah in the United States. During the Iraq War, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld branded the network’s reporting of civilian casualties as “vicious, inaccurate and inexcusable.”

Now, the White House is watching Al-Jazeera alongside CNN.

Obama, Clinton, Comcast, & the defense department are growing increasingly pleased with the new & improved Qatar & Al-Jazeera.

Important facts about your abs & spine

2011-03-30T05:08:00.003-04:00

I don't know why my mom saves all this, and don't you dare imply anything.

No, it's not gay porn. Up there's a collection of my old gym notes, article clippings, & books. Even though it was the new millenium, we didn't have the interwebs at my crib. So I'd cut out kinesiology knowledge from the racks of my public library & corner store. Yes, fuck those librarians & Korean grocers.

For people like me, who accepted the wisdom of countless ghostwritten Flex magazine articles (seriously, why does Nasser El Sonbaty sound like Gore Vidal?)...Dr. Stuart McGill sounded outright sacrilegious:

Source: University of Waterloo & New York Times

Dr. Stuart M. McGill is a professor of spine biomechanics at the University of Waterloo (Waterloo, ON, Canada). His advice is often sought by governments, corporations, legal experts and elite athletes and teams from around the world.

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First off, let's get this out of the way. This video & blog post deal with abdominal strength training, not the appearance of a six pack. Understand this lardo, you still have abs. They're hidden under that McDonalds playpen you call a gut. To get rid of that fat & make your abs magically appear, you need to create a caloric deficit (meaning you burn more than you eat). Starving yourself won't cut it, because that will cause your body to go cannibal & feed on your own muscles. Sorry, but Fatty McGoo must run. No amount of spine-killing crunches or spine-preserving curls can substitute for the huffing & puffing of 6 days worth of 40 minute jogs.

Now back to the issue at hand. When I share this with friends, the denial is astounding. Motherfuckers will not think twice when someone suggests something "extreme & risky"...as evidenced by muscle injuries & child porn charges. But ask them to try something "safe & effective", they demand unquestionable scientific evidence.

For that science, see Dr. McGill's book 'Low Back Disorders'. All the experiments, diagrams, & statistics are in there. I'll share one quick highlight here:

Source: Low Back Disorders (Page 88-89)

The traditional sit-up imposes approximately 3300N (about 730 lb) of compression on the spine (Axler and McGill, 1997). The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) (1981) has set the action limit for low back compression at 3300N; repetitive loading above this level is linked with higher injury rates in workers. Yet this is imposed on the spine with each repetition of the sit-up!

Many recommend performing sit-ups with the knees bent, the theory being that the psoas is realigned to reduce compressive loading, or perhaps the psoas is shortened on the length-tension relationship so that the resulting forces are reduced. After examining both of these ideas, we found them to be untenable. Given that the sit-up imposes such a large compression load on the spine, regardless of the leg's being bent or straight, the issue is not which type of sit-up should be recommended. Rather, sit-ups should not be performed at all by most people. Far better ways exist to preserve the abdominal muscle challenge while imposing lower spine loads.

The book also reveals another important point: There isn't a lower & upper rectus abdominis. For example, I'd do crunches for my upper abs & frog kicks for my lower abs. Instead, the book explains, the abdominal region should be viewed as a cable "with active tension along its entire length". Meaning, you fire one bead & it travels up & down.

Learning this was a fucking godsend, because I'd have to drive to the gym to use roman chairs & hanging rigs on my core days. Now I hit the living room & perform McGill's modified ab curl. I do them with the elbows raised slightly above the ground & tongue touching the roof of the mouth. These remove the cheats of the shoulders & neck.

I never bothered with obliques before. And I abandoned the lower back deadlift long ago because I'd always end up jerking & making things worse. So it's been great reincorporating these groups using the side bridge (obliques) & bird dog (back).

The side bridge & bird dog are especially dangerous. It's very important that you use the hips & surrounding glutes to navigate the movements. Should you bring your back into it, you will hurt yourself.

The ideal thing to do is get a copy of Dr. McGill's DVD 'Ultimate Back'. Whether you're a lay person looking to be safe, or you live at the gym...it's worth the price. The second disc explores each of these exercises individually. You get detailed information on form along with great visual demonstrations.

How far we've come

2011-03-28T09:03:00.000-04:00

2003: The year you couldn't fight or fuck without night-vision.

Remember the Iraq invasion in 2003? Though I was a yungin', I can still recall the sights and sounds as my TV broadcast an endless parade of overnight human rights activists, feminists, & democrats. They all agreed, other peoples children needed to act, and act now. Without Paris Hilton, the year would have lacked serious thought.

Remember 'Control Room' from 2004? The documentary introduced us to a young network called Al-Jazeera. They challenged dogma & gave voice to collateral damage. I wanted to date an Arab reporter & get her integrity to rub off on me.

Before we go any further, journalists in the northern hemisphere can relax. You're so vain, you probably think this song's about you. It isn't. Seriously, like 63% of us are proud your profession hires so many dyslexics.

No, this is about young jeezy. Actually, it's 2011 and jeezy's not young anymore. They've found their Iraq in Libya, their Saddam in Gadhafi, and their Pentagon in Qatar. As we shoot the shit, so do Qatar & NATO. To be fair, everyone knows Arab fighter jets are programmed to fly away from Israel and towards Muslims.

Throughout the day, Al-Jazeera's interview & debate segments are handed over to various Libyan exiles from the US & the UK. When a reporter appears in Benghazi, he's sure to be accompanied by helpless victims or victorious heroes. When a reporter appears in Tripoli, she's sure to be alone and highly skeptical of civilian casualties.

Al-Jazeera sent Anita McNaught to report from the parallel universe that seems to be Tripoli.

During an early report, McNaught showed off the aftermath of a NATO attack on the presidential compound. She suggested the Libyan government themselves caused the damage - as the rubble lacked sufficient smoke & fire. Within minutes, American hospitals began treating 911 truthers for debilitating erections.

In a later report, McNaught showed off pictures of dead bodies at a morgue. This time, she entertained the possibility of NATO culpability - because the bodies were sufficiently "mangled". Quickly enough, she suggested that ~~Bin Ladin~~ ~~Saddam~~ Gadhafi counted his ~~terrorists~~ ~~fedayeen~~ reserves as civilians. By the off-chance that civilians were in the bunch, she repeatedly warned the audience that the images were highly "political" in nature.

Yes. Al-Jazeera dismissed images of dead Muslims as "political".

He's a vengeful god. More reason to ignore the little bitch.

2011-03-28T07:29:00.001-04:00

Still they sang: "Hit me with your best shot. Fire away!"

I am the Lord! I will send all my plagues upon thy heart, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people; that thou mayst know that there is none like me in all the earth!

Source: The Old Testament

Devastating floods
Exodus 9:18 - Behold, I will cause it to rain...such as hath not been since the foundation thereof even until now.

Severe droughts
Exodus 7:19 - Stretch out thine hand upon their pools of water, that they may become blood.

Rolling blackouts
Exodus 10:21 - Stretch out thine hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness over the land, even darkness which may be felt.

Disappearing beef
Exodus 9:3 - Behold, the hand of the Lord is upon thy cattle which is in the field.

The unthinkable
Exodus 11:5 - All the firstborn in the land shall die

Venezuela, art thou deaf?! I am the Lord!!!

Source: Canadian Press & Datanalisis

Leon said Chavez remains Venezuela's most popular politician, with an approval rating of more than 50 per cent — though Leon did not release a specific approval rating.

Black Swan

2011-03-25T07:34:00.003-04:00

For people who have not seen it, check out 'Black Swan'. Saw it couple of weeks ago with some friends at empire, and everyone thought it was cool.

For people who have seen it, click "Read More" to reveal the first ever superduper VeeeATCH movie review. Got some spoilers, so nosy people be warned: I believe in reviews as an appreciation of the finer points - not as a stupid tease. In that, I'm very much like your aunt Florence and her Tuesday afternoon book club.

Also, hit up the comments and share your thoughts - long or short. When it comes to art (unlike geo-politics & sex in public places) I do value other peoples opinions.

Black Swan - An Appreciation

In the end, Nina dies muttering something about reaching perfection.

While we were walking out of the theatre, a friend cutely moaned "aaaawww, that was such a sad ending". For some reason, I said "nah, that's a happy ending". Then I giggled like a kid who just stuck bubble gum in his sisters hair.

I'm not a sociopath. When I think about it more, this is what I should have said...

Most my highschool hours were spent preparing for the CFL (laugh, but it's true). I went through so many training camps & programs, I didn't have an actual summer vacation until I dropped out. The position I played, defensive end, is a surprisingly individualistic role in a supposed team sport. So all of Nina's introverted anal behaviour...I could relate to it on some level.

When you dedicate yourself to something so strongly, to the exclusion of everything else...Nina's death is like going out in a fucking blaze of glory. She'd mastered both the physicality & artistry of her sport, then she'd executed it to perfection. If she had survived, she'd inevitably end up as Winona Ryder's character - obsolete & useless. Realizing this on some subconscious level, her death was a happy ending - in her own mind.

'Black Swan' is one of the great sports movies. Right up there with 'Any Given Sunday'. They're great because they're not impressed by the fact that Icarus can fly. Instead, they're disgusted by the fact that we encouraged him to fly straight into the sun.

Who is Melquan? Dude kills it on 'Paid'

2011-03-25T07:26:00.004-04:00

The way this song should be enjoyed - On a throne with a sword surrounded by 5 handmaids.

Dumped a whole bunch of Public Enemy on my mp3 player a while back. These guys are a bit before my time, so many times I will skip songs because the beats sound too retro & annoying.

But one day, on a random shuffle, this track came on & I did a fucking spinach flip (which I assumed to mean throwing my moms weekend dub in the air).

This cat Melquan kills it in every which way: smart observations, brilliant rhyme flow, & badasss attitude. I can't find anything about him online, so if you know something (like any albums, mixtapes, whatever) hit up the comment box.

Perfect for this Friday night. If you're downtown & hear this blasting from an overpopulated civic, give us a finger...the police always do.

Album: Public Enemy (featuring Melquan) - Respect The Legends Mix Series

Song: Paid

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QUOTED FOR LIFE

Spinach flips
My lips sit on top of Cristal bottle tips
Sippin ready to flip
Do a hit on a rapper that a serpent
Counterfeit
Criminal fakin jacks
Luxury in his raps ain't facts
It's a camouflage
Large niggas keep it on the low black
No raps or Kodak
Just stackin cheese freezers packed

Where was I today?

2011-03-23T17:35:00.001-04:00

Why Toronto females be dressing like the Taliban.

Since Indiana Jones asked:

Source: Inca Kola News

Where were you yesterday? I was here:

I was on the bus, zooming in on home:

When I got off, I didn't walk. I ran through sleepy hollow, desperately trying to avoid the fucking headless horseman:

Before stepping into my building, I stopped to write a special message:

Can't wait till Dora the explorer gets her hunting license.

South of the border

2011-03-22T07:40:00.001-04:00

The United States has already apologized for launching biological attacks on Guatemala. Unfortunately, due to the delay in tort reform, victims have shamelessly launched a class action lawsuit:

Source: Christian Science Monitor

An apology is not enough for Guatemalans deliberately infected with syphilis by a US medical team in the 1940s. Five months after the American taxpayer-funded medical experiment came to light, victims have brought a class-action lawsuit against the US government seeking compensation for resulting health problems.

The court brief charges that US public health doctors hired prostitutes diagnosed with syphilis or gonorrhea to have sexual relations with soldiers, prison inmates, and psychiatric patients in Guatemala with the intention of spreading the disease. Once the unknowing subjects were diagnosed with illnesses, the US medical team tested them for potential cures, including penicillin. Orphaned Guatemalan children as young as 6 years old were used as an uninfected test group, according to the suit.

Today, an hour-long investigation by the erotic domestic affairs publication VeeeATCH! has uncovered a startling follow-up. Through confidential chronic inhalation & contacts at google search, investigative journalist P-ublic E-nemy discovered that - in 2004 - Brazilian President Lula da Silva instructed his intelligence services to avenge the attacks on Guatemala.

The revelation is surprising, as the president is considered "a harmless moderate" in the north, and "our furry little Ewok" in the south. Aides say Lula resented being depicted as a little pussy. Avenging the attacks on Guatemala would prove that he was, in fact, more like "Yoda" - 20 lbs of pure...fuck...you...up!

The effort codenamed 'Operation Tchutchuca' targeted Southern California. Its aims were to launch retaliatory biological attacks, cause mass panic, & inflict significant economic losses. As this secret document reveals, all the aims were met:

Source: Associated Press

Flush with dollars, American porn film directors swoop into Brazil for its exotic and uninhibited women, dazzling tropical backdrops and cheap production costs -- a phenomenon that has turned South America's largest country into a prime destination for adult film outsourcing.

But producers chose the country with the most people in the hemisphere with HIV or AIDS after the United States. They usually head to Sao Paulo or Rio de Janeiro -- home to 60 percent of the 540,000 Brazilians with HIV or AIDS, according to a recent World Bank study.

The infection of an American porn star with HIV last month after shooting unprotected sex scenes with more than a dozen Brazilian women is sending shock waves through the industry's California heartland.

Darren James, the American actor who contracted the virus, apparently in Brazil, performed with 13 actresses after returning to the United States before a blood test two weeks ago showed he was HIV-positive.

One partner, Lara Roxx, also tested HIV positive. Since then, more than 50 performers who had contact with the two or their on-screen sex partners have been barred by the American industry from performing pending new tests.

Thirty companies halted production, virtually shuttering a business based in California's San Fernando Valley that generates at least $4.4 billion annually.

Also uncovered are audio intercepts of elite funk force Furacao 2000, relaying key offensive instructions:

Album: Furacao 2000

Song: Tchutchuca Treme O Bumbum

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Al Giordano: Il duce of dumbasses

2011-03-20T13:20:00.000-04:00

The extent of Al Giordano's gorilla training

On February 23 2011, Al Giordano decided he was a strategic genius:

Source: The Field

[Skipping the first 11 paragraphs of shameless, rambling, self-promotion...]

Somewhat less skillful, on Castro’s part, has been his ham-handed attempt to shift the attention from the atrocity underway to a hypothetical one: His statement that, “the United States is totally unconcerned about peace in Libya and will not hesitate to give NATO the order to invade that rich country, possibly in a matter of hours or a few days.”

First of all, what could NATO possibly do to the Libyan people that Gaddafi isn’t already doing?

...these events indicate that it is not NATO or foreign powers that will most quickly dispose of the despot, but the very people he has governed for 42 years.

Today is March 20 2011 & US Vice Adm. William Gortney is showing off Pentagon video of NATO's various attacks on Libya.

When asked about NATO's killing of Libyan ground troops, he responded: "If Libyan infantry are moving onto opposition forces in Libya, they are under attack."

When asked if NATO would stop rebels from attacking immobile Libyan troops, he responded: "At this point I'm not ready to step outside the messaging we've put out."

Al-Jazeera has just reported smoke arising from the Libyan presidential palace, and explosions all around the capital of Tripoli. The result of NATO aerial bombings.

We thank Al Giordano for his ham-handed attempt at out-thinking a man who's outlasted 9 American presidents.

P.S. If you think I couldn't have done any better, see what I wrote on February 22 2011 (one day before Al posted his piece). At least my self-promotion comes under 10 paragraphs, and contains truth.

I predicted this shit, it's 2pacalypse!

2011-03-20T13:15:00.024-04:00

After being shot 5 times, Tupac offers a statement to the media.

In a previous post, I said:

Source: Bon Retou Prezidan Titide

...Aristide coming back to Haiti is like Tupac getting out of jail. There are scores to settle, records to set straight, & millions to uplift. The two presidential candidates, Martelly & Manigat - quiet like those church mice B.I.G. & Puff.

Many of you thought this was some kind of cheap rhetorical flourish...a sad attempt to appeal to young white males across the suburbs of America.

Well, you woke up today & realized you thought wrong:

Source: The Toronto Sun

Rapper Wyclef Jean has been shot in the hand in his native Haiti.

The former Fugees star, who lives in the U.S., travelled to the country earlier this week to lend his support to presidential candidate Michel Martelly as he prepares for the final round of elections against former First Lady Mirlande Manigat on Sunday.

Reports emerged shortly after midnight on Sunday suggesting Jean's car had come under attack and was peppered with bullets as he was being driven through the city of Port-au-Prince with hip-hop pal Busta Rhymes and record executive Jimmy Rosemond.

Yes, that's right. Wyclef, who Tupac kindly asked to fuck off, was shot. While he was in the company of Jimmy Rosemond (aka Jimmy Henchman), who allegedly ordered the New York shooting of Tupac.

Ben Bernanke showed up in my comments & said: "you're a funny cunt! Not to mention informative as well.". Like a typical chairman of the federal reserve, he ignores the fact that I'm also prophetic.

Tiger moms

2011-03-20T13:10:00.000-04:00

Amy Chua forces daughter Lulu to provide background music for her daytime soaps.

If I threatened my girlfriend with theft, starvation, & confinement...
My name would appear under a mugshot & I'd qualify for anus expansion therapy.

If I did all of the above to my 7 year old...
My name would be Amy Chua & I'd be a parenting expert.

Source: Wall Street Journal

Lulu was about 7, working on a piano piece called "The Little White Donkey" by the French composer Jacques Ibert. [She] announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off...

I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece...

I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner...

I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom...

You'd think the Wall Street Journal would know better. This little girl was tortured into playing classical music. If she ends up being any good, her long boring career will have to be subsidized by us hard working rock, rap, & dance fans.

They heard me singing & they told me to stop...

2011-03-19T13:20:00.003-04:00

Canadians celebrate Arcade Fire's Grammy win.

It was always a question of when, not if, they'd win big. The Arcade Fire took album of the year, defeating peroxide abusers Lady Gaga & Eminem.

These guys have consistently combined great sound & thoughtful lyrics. As expected, someone who recognizes neither spent $40,000 to undermine their victory:

Source: New York Times

What truly inspired the writing of this letter was that this most recent show fed my suspicions. As the show was coming to a close and just prior to presenting the award for Album Of The Year, the band Arcade Fire performed “Month of May” — only to… surprise… win the category and, in a moment of sheer coincidence, happened to be prepared to perform “Ready to Start.”

Steve Stoute introduces himself as "the owner of a firm that specializes in in-culture advertising". Basically, he introduces prominent clients (ie. McDonald's) to eager sex workers (ie. Justin Timberlake). I'm pretty sure he created that infomercial 'Modern Family'.

Someone needs to punch Stoute repeatedly, and beat him with a telephone and champagne bottle. Oh wait...Puffy already did hahahaha!

Now enough talk about second-degree assault. Here's a beautiful song:

Album: Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

Song: Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)

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