Verbal Self-Defense Tactics

Want to see a Verbal Self Defense Webinar?

D. Scott — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 02:30:08 +0000

Okay everybody … we want to take a poll and see how many people are interested in the idea of a verbal self defense webinar.

The basic idea is to have a webinar where registrants can watch the live presentation on their computer and ask questions via an online messaging system while the class is happening. If this is something that you have an opinion on we’d love to hear from you –

Below, as well as in the website sidebar, is the poll — please enter your choice and cast your vote … then, depending on how people feel, we’ll look into what steps to take next.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Thank you for your participation.

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Thank You for No Workplace Bullies

D. Scott — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 22:19:57 +0000

Once again I must send out my deepest thanks to the wonderful Catherine Mattice who recently posted a new, exclusive article explaining how to program healthy communication habits of today for situations of verbal conflict tomorrow using techniques of NLP. (You can find it on both her website and her blog!)

For anyone who doesn’t know yet, Catherine Mattice is the expert on workplace bullying who wrote the foreword for my new book: Verbal Self Defense in The Workplace: Proven Psychological Secrets to Help You Beat The Office Bully

I strongly recommend that everybody interested in finding out how to put an end to bullying in their workplace — you need to check out her blog and consulting company … she’s all about comprehensive solutions for healthy workplaces:

NoWorkplaceBullies.blogspot.com

NoWorkplaceBullies.com

Thank you Catherine.

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Feb 10 & 17 – Verbal Self Defense Basics Workshop

D. Scott — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 19:30:32 +0000

Incorporating more information that the simple introductory class, this workshop will include deeper explanations along with a few rudimentary exercises which participants can practice in order to develop their verbal self defense skills. Participants will discuss techniques for dealing with verbally abusive people in order to diffuse tense conversations.

WHEN
Wednesday, February 10 & 17, 2010
6:00p-9:00p

WHERE
Pearkes Recreation Center
Victoria, BC, Canada

To register call 250-475-5400

COST
$41.00

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Know Your Intention

D. Scott — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:51:08 +0000

Effective Verbal Self Defense require you to know your intention — it’s one of the key elements I teach in my new book (www.VerbalSelfDefenseBook.com).

The reason is, if you have at least an idea of what it is you want in a situation then you can figure out what you need to say. However, if you have no idea what it is that needs to change in order to feel more secure then you have no way to determine what to say or how to say it …

… and remember, the important thing here is to practice, practice, PRACTICE!

Set intentions at random for anything … going to the store (i.e. ‘my intention is to get everything on my list’) … making dinner (i.e. ‘my intention is to feel relaxed while making dinner’) … etc. Try it whenever you get the chance — simply set an intention and think about it for a moment .. that’s it!

If that’s all you learn to do easily and effortlessly in any situation, no matte how stressful, then you double your chance of dealing with a situation effectively.

Twas the Fight Before Christmas

Twas the Fight Before Christmas

D. Scott — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 04:10:22 +0000

Christmas can be a stressful time of year for everyone … tempers run high and patience can run short — a perfect storm for verbal abuse in an endless number of family and shopping situations.

Here’s a little something to help put it in perspective…

BTW, you can blame Jodie, head of public relations and promotions, for the “blooper” reel at the end… ;p

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Learn How to Tell A Jerk Off

D. Scott — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 01:01:40 +0000

I have 2 awesome announcements for everybody!

FIRST…

We’re extra excited to tell you that our new 6-Step Verbal Self Defense e-Workbook is now available for download! It’s a 91 page training manual filled with exercises specifically designed to help you master verbal self defense!

– And that’s not even the best part! –

We are currently offering a special discount to all the people who are subscribed to our RSS Feed or who have joined our Facebook Fan Page! Just head over to

http://www.verbaldefensetactics.com/resources/6-step-verbal-self-defense-eworkbook/

and enter the discount code before you click the Buy Now button. What’s the code? … that’s a very good question — the special code is:

FB001

You can use this code to get a 20% discount on our brand new 6-Step Verbal Self Defense e-Workbook until the end of the month … after that you’ll have to pay full price — meaning you’ll have missed out on a fantastic way to ensure yourself a jerk free 2010.

SECOND…

In new book news we’re proud to finally announce the release of my first book, Verbal Self Defense in The Workplace — now available at both Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk! This book is essential for anyone who really wishes they could find a way to tell the jerk at work to “take-off, eh!”

If you’d like to find out more about the book, or if you’d like link to order your copy today, please go to:

http://www.verbalselfdefensebook.com

Jan 27 – Intro to Verbal Self Defense Workshop

D. Scott — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:30:31 +0000

Get a basic introduction to what verbal self defense is and what it can do for you. Learn the concepts of how to regain your right to respect by appropriately and effectively using principles of verbal self defense.

WHEN
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
7:00p-8:30p

WHERE
Pearkes Recreation Center
Victoria, BC, Canada

To register call 250-475-5400

COST
$10.00

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Buy Book, Benefit Babes (go Bare for Cancer)!

D. Scott — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:46:00 +0000

We have 38 37 35 32 30 Advance Copies of the book still available!

Here’s the deal: we are huge supporters of Trish and the Babes over at Babes Go Bare For Cancer. We do know, however, that we can’t do it alone, so… for the next week while supplies last get your Advance Copy of Dr. Scott’s Verbal Self Defense for the Workplace for $20 (soon to be released for $27) and $5 of that will go to the BC Cancer Foundation on behalf of Babes Go Bare for Cancer!

Delivery within the Victoria area: free!

Delivery outside of Victoria: shipping is extra, we will calculate it and get back to you.

Payment:

By cheque (made payable to Soaring Success), cash or Paypal .

If paying via cash or cheque, you can give it to us when we deliver.

UPDATE: as you probably saw above, since we announced this, copies are going pretty quick… we hope to do all local deliveries on Friday the 18th.

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Who wants a verbal defense training manual with 20+ exercises?

D. Scott — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:32:37 +0000

For those of you who’ve been subscirbed to our eNewsletter and RSS feed, you’ll be aware that there haven’t been a lot of new articles and announcements recently. You ask, why? … well, that’s a great question! Although a lot of our energy has gone to getting the new book published and released on Amazon (special thanks to our publishers LeanMarkingPress.com and Bookshaker.com for all their hard work and support!) — there has been a secret project in the works as well!

A new downloadable 6-Step Verbal Self Defense Training Manual filled with over 20 exercises specifically designed to help you build your skills will be coming soon — VERY SOON! — and that’s not even the best part … There will be a special discount offer for all the people who have subscribed to our eNewsletter or joined our Facebook Fan Page! So, watch for its release later this week, and start preparing for a bully free 2010!

Dealing with Emotionally Distressed Bullies

D. Scott — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:58:33 +0000

Basic concepts of behavioral studies recognize that every behavior has a higher positive intention behind it. What this means is that anything a person says or does has an unconscious expectation which the person assumes will be achieved by that behavior. The problem with this is that, although the unconscious intention is always positive, the actual behavior may not be.

The reason for this is that people are limited to only having the choice available to them which they are unconsciously aware of in that time and place. That list of options is restricted by many different factors, including (but not limited to);

The current situation or event;
Their physical health and wellness (are they well rested, etc.);
What the relationship is to all parties involved;
Past personal experiences;
The person’s deep personal values and beliefs about the world;

One of the most powerful influences of a person’s unconscious decision making process can be personal stress (or, in some cases, distress). Highly emotional circumstances involving feelings of fear, anger, shame, or guilt can negatively impact one’s ability to rationally determine the most appropriate choice of action. People and organizations that deal with our base need of safety and survival will usually have the most contact with individuals affected in this way — especially police, firefighters, EMT, doctors, nurses, etc.

When someone’s logical mind is limited by overwhelming negative emotion they can behave in unexpected ways that may seem very out of character for them. The reason is because they’re personal experiences in life have not given them the skills needed to deal with what is happening in an appropriate way. Those feelings of helplessness can instigate abusive reactions in these people, causing them to act mentally, emotionally and/or physically abusive towards the people around them — including their care givers.

One way to help a normally rational person who is in emotional distress is to constantly redirect their focus back toward the highest positive intention of their abusive words and actions. The simple act of asking what their purpose is for specific words, tone of voice, gestures, facial expression, body posture, etc. (any behavior determined to be abusive) that they are doing can help them reconnect with that logical part of their unconscious mind. Questions such as:

What is it you hope to accomplish by… [insert description of their abusive behavior here]?
Do you really believe that, by doing that behavior, it will help achieve your desired outcome?

From there it is then useful to help them by connected the behavior you need from that person (i.e. taking a breath and relaxing a bit, etc.) to their desired intent. A simple example of this could be stated as, “I can help you [insert their purpose for the abusive behavior] if you’ll simply [insert the behavior you need from them here].” The result is that, by guiding the person’s awareness toward their deeper intention and help them become conscious of how their current behavior is hindering them in achieving that outcome, it can then allow them to be more open to changing that behavior.

Avoid Escalating Workplace Bullying – 2 Qualities of a Good Verbal Defender