The Verbosery

Internets Radio

2009-11-08T19:05:00.000-08:00

The song stuck in my head tonight:

Meanwhile I'm working on figuring out whether or not I have to turn down an opportunity I've been hoping for because that timing isn't great. I'm trying very hard to hang on to my "pushing forward" and not freak out totally. We'll see how it goes and, hopefully, I'll have a nice story to share with you soon!

It's About Marriage

2009-11-06T09:18:00.001-08:00

What I find most amusing is that the post Tinacious wrote today started as a blog comment that got too long and then I went to comment to that post, and, well... There's a reason this is The Verbosery.

Enjoy!

SweetPea and I are registered domestic partners and have been for almost four years. WTF does that mean? Fuck if I know. I know that it means my employer can CHOOSE to allow me to put her on my health plan. Which, then, because she's not (federally recognized as) my wife, means that the money my employer pays to insure her counts as INCOME that I've received. If she were federally recognized as my wife, I wouldn't have to pay taxes on that. But because she's not, I do.

It means that we have a (very small) portion of the rights afforded to people who are legally married. It means I've got a copy of the registration with me at all times because NONE of the rights we're afforded by the registration count unless I can PROVE IT.

We were married in a spiritual, non-legal ceremony in 2002. We were married in the eyes of California law on June 17, 2008.

You tell someone you were "registered domestic partnered" or "civil unioned" and they look at you like you're batshit. But you can tell any ignoramus "I got married" and they KNOW what you're talking about.

There is a respect with that. An understanding. They KNOW what you're talking about, and they KNOW what that means. They GET what kind of commitment you're talking about, that you're talking about "this is it, forever, blending lives, building families".

I think the problem that people have with letting us have the term "marriage" is exactly that. It means granting us the respect and understanding of the solemnity of the commitment we, as a couple, are making to each other. They can't stand the thought that two women or two men might possibly be capable of the same kind of love, commitment and respect that they are.

(OMFG, talk about an out of control comment!)

Do I think we need to fight for the term "marriage"?

Damn right, I do.

We deserve it! "Marriage" is not (solely) a religious institution, and so long as America has no state-dictated religion, then I damn sure better have all the rights as any straight, white Catholic (although I'll leave to baby-banging to the Catholics).

SweetPea and I were discussing this before the Court decision came down last year in California. Neither of us is the "gold band and diamonds" type, but I'd been thinking and I'd decided that, when we finally got the right to marry, I wanted the gold band, I wanted her last name, I wanted the legal term "marriage/married/wife".

I want it all.

So. Yeah.

And I understand how some people can say maybe we should just strike the term altogether, but marriage has been around for, literally, thousands of years, and there's no reason we shouldn't have it, too.

*hands back soap box*

November Heartbreak

2009-11-05T20:49:00.000-08:00

I don't even know what to say about Tuesday's night's loss in Maine. It is maddening and disheartening and frustrating and heartbreaking and enraging. It is a vicious flashback to last year.

We should not have to fight for our rights like this. Piecemeal from state to state. Begging for the crumbs of equality. Did we not just sign a federal law granting us all protection from hate crimes based on, among other things, our sexual orientation?

Yet the states and federal government seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to continue to legislate hate on a large scale.

I don't know. I think this is why I try not to get too involved with politics. The ignorance, hypocrisy and idiocy make me crazy.

Instead of attempting to articulate my rage, frustration and heartbreak, I'm just going to direct you elsewhere.

Dawn: I have a lot of love for Dawn, and it breaks my fucking heart that, after all the work she & Laura put into fighting this, the damn thing passed, anyway.

Maura Hennessy who has said what I've felt for quite some time now.

Wine Dog: There's this woman that I work with who has this way of talking to certain people. You know, the ones who call in trying to get away with something? And she gets this tone and she talks to them just like a mom scolding a kid for being a dumbass and totally gets away with it, because she's actually super nice, way helpful and really knows her stuff. Which is kind of what Wine Dog reminds me of when she gets going on a good rant. It's the kind of scolding that would make anyone with an iota of intelligence or self-respect ashamed of themselves. And that's my kind of rant.

PS: And I'm also heartbroken by the news out of Fort Hood. My heart goes out to all of the families affected by the tragedy. All of the families.

Wishcasting Wednesday - Experience

2009-11-04T03:20:00.000-08:00

Today's prompt: What do you wish to experience?

Today I wish to experience a world where every person enjoys the same rights, responsibilities and protections as the next person. Where no person lives in fear because of who they love, how they identify or what's between their legs.

Catsup & Flavored Quarks*

2009-11-03T20:36:00.000-08:00

Ooh, look! Did you know I had a blog?

Um.

Right.

I know, I know! There's so much I have to tell you, and I really do need to get on that, and I've totally been slacking and I'm sorry.

*whew*

Right now I'm obsessively refreshing poll results to see if Maine gets to keep same sex marriage and if Washington gets "just like but not exactly" marriage rights for registered domestic partnerships (whether same sex or just over 65).

Sadly, it doesn't look good for either state.

In more personal news, SweetPea has caught the Creeping Crud. I was worried today that it might be the actual H1N1 because she had some, uh, gastrointestinal issues this morning. But that seems to have settled down, and I'm hoping she's just got a regular cold or flu. Which is probably totally my fault, since I'm sure I brought the germs home from Oakland.

I am not thrilled with the direction that my feelings about work have taken. I'm not really going to get into details. Suffice it to say that some things will have to change, one way or another.

In other news, Christmas is fast approaching - as is a holiday buying (and selling) season that I've suddenly realized I'm ill-prepared for. Oopsie! I had to make some decisions regarding what to work on for listing and what not to bother with. I'm trying to remain within the capacity of supplies I currently have on hand, but I will be placing one or two small orders.

I plan on listing scrubs and balms, as well as a couple of "origami" scrapbooks, glass pendants, and some new hair jewelry and earrings. I'm kind of excited, but there's a lot of work ahead of me that I need to get started on soon. Which is a little hard when your wife is sick and it throws everything out of whack.

Like I said, I've got loads of things planned for you, including a tutorial-plus-giveaway, a follow up to the lobe stretching primer, and probably at least one good ramble about one thing or another.

Tonight, though, I'll leave you with this:

This pup was left in his crate, in the back, with the hatch up, while his owners were off doing who knows what. He was there for at least 20 minutes that I know of. He was in the shade, and, certainly, had plenty of fresh air, temperature was pleasant and he didn't seem to be in distress (other than boredom and loneliness)...

So what do you think? Is it ok that pup was left like this while his owners went off (I'm assuming to dinner)?

Personally, I always endeavor to not bring dogs places where they're not allowed, and I haven't often been in situations where I've had to figure it out. I guess that's a pretty good system, but it does make me wonder why pup couldn't have just stayed home.

(Sacramento County is definitely not as dog-friendly - overall - as some other areas are... There aren't many places you can go to eat with your pup...)

*With SweetPea down, most of MonkeySee's chatting has been directed at me. That manchild can talk a blue streak, letmetellyou. Did you know there are flavored quarks? And the flavor names are colors? I told him that the Farmer's Market Cheese Ladies would disagree... Quarks come in flavors like vanilla and lemon and pumpkin spice. I'm not entirely sure he found this amusing.

Halloween Spooks

2009-11-01T06:26:00.000-08:00

Their dad took these two with his iPhone:

I think I like the quality of my cell camera better. The colors are really good on his iPhone, but the snaps are pretty grainy.

I may post more later, but the gym is calling, and the time change means I feel like I've been waiting to go!

Femme in Drag

2009-10-30T08:04:00.000-07:00

More photos to come. Maybe.

Internets Radio - Version Top Ten

2009-10-29T04:48:00.000-07:00

Taking a page out of G's book, and also because it seems to be a running theme lately, I decided to put together a list of the top ten most played songs on my iShuffle. Bear in mind that some of these songs have been on my iShuffle for significantly longer than others and that it is an iShuffle, so I only have so much control over which songs get played.

You can make fun of me in the comments section. Oh, and all of these links are to youtube videos. Consider yourself forewarned.

1. Fatal - The RZA

2. Buttons - Pussycat Dolls

3. No Good Deed - Wicked Soundtrack

4. Gold Digger - Kanye West

5. Don't Tell Mama - Cabaret Soundtrack (yes, this version - although it wasn't the version I first heard & fell in love with, but whatever!)

6. Black Velvet - Alannah Myles

7. No Air - Jordin Sparks

8. Sober - P!nk (Amusingly, there's another song titled Sober that is one of my favorites of all time. The standard warning is that if you ever discover me with this particular song on repeat - loud - it's a very good idea to tread carefully. Very carefully.)(Strangely, it's totally not on my iShuffle at all.)

9. All of this Past - Sarah Bettens

10. Defying Gravity - Wicked Soundtrack

What are the top ten songs in the soundtrack of your life?

Wishcasting Wednesday - Treats

2009-10-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

The best part about having new blogs in your reader is finding fun new post prompts.

Wishcasting Wednesdays

What treat do you wish for?

While I have a wishlist of goodies that seems to be getting very long, indeed, I think the treat I'd most like right now is a pedicure. Even though I'm still in sandals, I think now would be an excellent time to get my feet softened and nourished and ready for winter.

Oh, and maybe a new pair of boots wouldn't be a bad thing, either.

What treat would you wish for?

Honestly!

2009-10-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

Anna over at Let's See if this Works tagged me for this:

It's been awhile since I've done this, so let's see what I've got.

Rules:

1. Present this award to 7 other bloggers (a variety of reasons are listed, but I like going to honest blogger route).

2. Share 10 honest things about myself.

And away we go:

1. I am almost 35 years old and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

Every time I think I have an idea of what I want my life to look like, as a whole, I get totally spun around and it seems like all my priorities rearrange themselves until I have no idea what’s the right answer again.

The frustrating part is that all of these pieces, these priorities, are so different from each other. I know they’re all the facets of who I am, but they look like they can’t possibly even be related. I guess, when you put the similarities together, you end up with two totally different lives. Like night and day.

2. On October 3, 2009 I quit smoking (again).

I totally hadn’t planned to, other than the obvious: that I needed to. But I was down to the last cigarette in the pack and made the more or less conscious decision to not purchase another pack. And I know this is going to sound awful, but I really didn’t want to. I didn’t do it because I wanted to quit smoking, or felt like I should, or even, really, felt guilty. The reasons I needed to quit kept piling up and I knew it was only a matter of time, so I just did it.

Don’t get me wrong, it hurt. I didn’t just go “oh, ok, I’m done now”. That third day, especially, was really, really bad. I ended up walking down to Neighbor’s and bumming one (ok, two) of her smokes and, yeah, I felt better. I felt less like someone was going to die. And then the next few days were easier. Every day is easier than the last, but there hasn’t yet been a day where I haven’t felt like there was something missing. Sometimes I feel like I got gypped. Like I gave up this thing I wasn’t ready to give up, yet, and nothing is really that different now.

One foot in front of the other. One day after another. One more box of Good & Plenty’s. It’ll be ok.

3. I am totally and completely obsessed with bath products.

This probably has a lot to do with why I started making them, way back in the day. It also has a lot to do with the part where I still buy them obsessively from other etsy sellers, even though I make a lot of these things myself. I will also own buying bath stuff just to see if I can figure out how it’s made (yes, actually, I can!) so that I can make it myself.

And, yes, Fat Femme Laboratory has a line of bath products that will be coming soon. When? Uuummm… Right after I get up off my lazy ass and start prepping them for sale! It’s overwhelming and humbling that I already have interested parties when only a select few have even received samples. And, yes, this does speak back to #1, but probably not in the way you’d expect.

Oh, and I will totally still be purchasing bath products from other etsy sellers. Is that weird? I just love the lushness of the photos and the packaging and the gorgeous products. It’s even better that I didn’t have to make it myself!

4. My world would not be complete with music.

This is another “I’m obsessed with…” I love music, but it’s more than that. Music helps me tune out and tune in. It helped me get through last year, when things where so bad and I was losing hair by the fistful and my sanity and I wasn’t even entirely sure that I was going to make it through to the other side. There were days when there were things I didn’t do strictly because I was afraid of what that would mean, for me, and there were days when I did things I knew I shouldn’t just because I knew I had to get through and that was the part that was important. Like the day that I spent my lunch break in the truck with the radio cranked, chain smoking and trying not to cry.

I can’t even imagine not having music in my life. My taste runs a wide variety of genres, eras and styles, and you can peruse the Internets Radio to get a glimpse of it. You know those people who say “I like everything, but…”? Well, I have no “buts”. I may not like every single song (or feel like listening to every song at any time), but there’s not much that I don’t like.

And I think I maybe need a larger iShuffle. Heh. (Ooh, and I maybe have a "most played songs" post coming up!)

5. I get discouraged fairly easily.

I know I know I know what I'm supposed to be doing, but it gets so hard when I'm not seeing any results.

6. I have never been one of the "cool kids".

Some days I'm more ok with this than others.

7. I'm kind of socially inept. Um. No, really.

8. Because some of you are new here: I maybe have a mild obsession with Starbucks. It's ok, though. The restraining order is only temporary! :)

9. I once made a grown man cry while working in a call center. I'm still proud.

10. I am a certified investigator. I am also incredibly nosy and capable of digging up information. I enjoy referring to myself as a "Stalkerista". It's part of my charm.

Seven people I'm going to ~~torture~~ award:

1. Dawn - because who knew rock stars lived in Maine?

2. The Femme Fairy Godmother - Leading by example.

3. Sherry - I discovered her through Wordless Wednesday and I just love how open & humorous her blog is. I don't make it over there nearly as often as I should to comment, but I do love her blog.

4. Linus - And not just because he's cute!

5. Wendy of the Athena Academy - Because I think her life is awesome and she's amazing for homeschooling her son in friggin' Korea!

6. D.Suplicki - Because there's nothing better than a sassy, vindictive dork and I love that her profile picture is in Dia de los Muertos makeup. How awesome is that?

7. Is this the part where I admit to being totally horrible? That most of the bloggers I can think to award this to would either never see or never do it? So you tell me: Who do you think I should award this to? If you're one of my "friend bloggers", would you like to complete this meme? Let me know and I'll add you to it!

PS: I really need to leave for the gym, so the part where I let y'all know in person that you've been tagged won't happen until tonight. Oops? So if you're wondering... Well there you go. And ohshit I didn't charge my ipod.

No more gas. In the red. Can't even get it started.

2009-10-27T16:13:00.001-07:00

I know, I know! Y'all have been waiting for a real blog post. Something, anything. And it's not like there isn't plenty of fodder out there. Really. There's loads of things I could be writing about.

And not just publicly nagging my friends about their blog ads.

What can I say?

I'm in a funk.

I'm not even sure what started it or what the root is or why I can't just get the fuck over it, but I am so mired in it that I can't even really see anything else.

I feel frustrated and flustered and stagnant and unsure and betrayed and indecisive and lonely.

I want to cry and I'm trying very hard not to be sick. Again.

It's hard finding things to talk about that don't sound whiny and depressing and like I'm rehashing the same old bullshit over and over again.

On Boys & Men

Our one and only male coworker went on the trip last week with us, and I rode down in the van he was driving. He's very old-school chivalrous.

Opens door, including car doors. Prefers to do the driving. Prefers to do the paying. Firmly believes that panhandlers should not approach women and has confronted them about it.

It's just the way he is, the way he's wired, I guess.

His wife objected to his holding car doors for his coworkers (this was a few years ago, well before my time here). Jealousy issues, clearly, but she didn't want him to open the car doors for his coworkers.

He was aghast. "What am I supposed to do? Let them open the door themselves?"

I wonder what happened to people treating each other with such respect and courtesy?

I wonder what kind of boys we are raising when a 15 year old girl can be gang-raped for two and a half hours in front of an audience and nobody does a damn thing to help her.

What the hell is wrong with people?

What happened to the men that wouldn't stand by and let another man hurt a woman?

Attention Wine Dog

2009-10-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

Also, shouldn't red doors be a brighter red? Or less window?

Hotel Motel Holiday Inn

2009-10-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

The very first thing we did when we hit Berkeley:

Oh, ok. Not really. We checked in to the hotel and got settled, and then headed out in search of lunch. We decided we were looking for beer & pizza, and eventually ended up at a Round Table. Which almost feels silly, considering all the cool local places we could have gone to. But at that point we were starving and just looking for somewhere with seating that looked promising, and this was the first thing we stumbled across. We ended up staying for almost three hours, through pizza and four of these beers. So good! I don't even know what kind it was, other than pale ale, but very yummy.

The first day of our meeting:

Really cute, but wow do they hurt. I had bought some inserts for the foot ball area, but the problem is that my toes get so crammed into the front and I just don't think they make inserts for that.

After that first day, everyone was meeting at some whine & cheese social, followed by dinner. Personally, I was just not feeling very "business social", and I believe we've discussed my wine-dysfunction. So I decided to skip it in favor of having a walk around Berkeley. I went to a little grocery store and had a peep around, and then found a taqueria for dinner. It's hard when you don't eat meat, because not every restaurant has non-meat options, and, specifically, not all Mexican restaurants don't use lard when cooking their beans. But I don't think I've ever had a bad meal at a taqueria, and I should maybe remember that when debating whether or not to go to one next time.

Super Vegetarian Burrito: beans, rice, sour cream, cheese, salsa. So good.
The hotel we stayed in was super swank "Resort & Spa" that originally opened in 1915 and had been recently redecorated. We got a "special deal" on the room rate, but they nickel and dime you for everything else. Everything. They have an "honor bar" in the room with drinks and snacks and, as an example, had a regular size Mounds bar for $3.75. Seriously. Continental breakfast was $18, and you could get a full pot of coffee delivered to your room for $12.95 plus 22% gratuity, plus $3.50 delivery fee. For a pot of coffee. Seriously? That much money is breakfast for two just about anywhere else.

I want to say that I felt significantly out of place, which I did, but to me that speaks as much to the poor customer service and the nickel and diming as to anything else. I didn't feel like "oh, I don't belong in the 'big leagues'", I felt more like "Who in their right mind pays for things like these?"

The redecoration was... Interesting. The bones of the building were still very 1915, including the interior doors and wood work and the lighting fixtures, but the decor was very much what you might expect from a modern "lavish" hotel. So it was almost this hodge-podge of styles that looked ok on the surface, but once you really started looking closely at the elements, you could really see how they weren't really from the same era or style.

There's a mirror above the desk.
This mirror was visible when lying in bed.

The other thing about staying in a hotel that originally opened in 1915 is that there are, quite definitely, spirits. I didn't try very hard to tap into it, because I needed to actually get some sleep, but when I lay down at night, I could distinctly catch flashes of motion reflected in the mirrors. The closet was creepy as hell, with its original door, and the motion sensor light that stayed on after you shut the door. So picture that style of door, in a dark room, with a ring of light around the door itself. CREEPY!

It was interesting, and some very good things came out of the trip, and, overall, I'm glad I went. I hope next time we can stay somewhere a little less "swank".

PS: Seriously, are all fancy hotels like this?

Carnival Fish Junky

2009-10-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

Hey Papa! Hey Papa!

2009-10-21T05:30:00.000-07:00

Today my co~~horts~~workers and I are driving out to The City to ~~spend two nights in a swankass hotel~~ attend to a two day Big Meeting.

Fortunately for me, I spent most of last night on the toilet dealing with some, uh, gastrointestinal distress. I'm guessing (hoping?) that I just managed to eat something that was slightly off and my innards are objecting. I actually feel better right now than I have all night, so I'm taking that as a good sign. Even though I'm kind of afraid to eat breakfast.

I'm very happy that I won't be the one driving down there, and that we might even be getting there early enough for me to have a pre-bedtime nap. Wee!

Posting will either be nonexistent or strictly camera-phone posts until the weekend, so I'm leaving you with one more Internets Radio for the week. Enjoy!

Sorry, I lied. One more video.

This crossed my tweetstream today and I had to share with you.

Go, Maine, Go!

The Gym, The Hotel and The Mood

2009-10-19T14:04:00.001-07:00

I was going to write a post about that bitch in the locker room of the gym this morning, because she pissed me off and because I, apparently, woke up in one of those moods (again). But I've got a freaking headache and, even though I'm really ticked off about a few things, I just don't have the energy to be articulately bitchy.

Wait. Maybe I do.

This morning, I was in the gym locker room, and I was walking out of the shower area back to the locker area. I had my Big Ass towel wrapped around me (because WineDog said I can't wander around naked), and all my stuff clutched to my chest, like I usually do. Of course, usually I don't have an audience, but, whatever, it's not like I'm shy. There was a woman standing in front of one of the mirrors in the locker area, chatting with the other woman she had come with. And then she glanced up and saw me coming out from the shower area and this look crossed her face, and I'm sure many of you reading this will understand exactly what kind of look I'm talking about. It's that look that's just shy of an involuntary lip curl and kind of makes you want to put your fist into something and maybe that something is the lip curler's nose.

And, you know. I'm not an idiot. I know I don't look much like I belong in a gym. I definitely don't have the physique of a gym rat, so I can see how some people might pass judgement based on that.

But you know what?

I'm not here for you. I'm not here for you or your small-minded opinion of me.

I couldn't give two shits less what you think of me.

Further, I may be the Fat Girl on the block, but I'm up in that gym more mornings than I'm not, honey, and this is the very first time I've seen your skinny, cranky, judgmental ass, so I suggest you stow your bullshit or the Fat Girl is going to call your ass out on the carpet in front of all the Big, Buff Gym Rats that know how often I'm there.

I'm not letting your ignorant ass ruin this thing for me. It's for me, not you, and you can keep your dirty looks to yourself because all that does is make me feel more like making you uncomfortable.

+whew+

Yes, so I told you I was in a mood today.

Later this week, I'm heading into The City with some coworkers for two days of a Big Meeting. We're staying in a pretty swank hotel because we got a good deal. That's awesome and all, but it's not like we'll even be in our rooms that long, so it doesn't really matter.

Not that I mind. I guess I shouldn't complain. My favorite thing about travelling for work has been that we've stayed in fairly nice hotels, so far, and I just love love love staying in nice hotels, with big, puffy beds and luxurious bedding. And I'd be perfectly happy ordering in room service and spending two days snuggled in bed watching tv.

No, really, I love hotels. I think part of the reason I don't consider travel a priority for our budget is just because I love hotels so much it becomes this balancing act. Where ever we go, we have to stay long enough to have plenty of hotel time, but also be able to actually get out & about where we are, too. Some people can visit for the weekend. I need three or four nights.

It gets a little more expensive.

So, anyway, I'm going to be in The City for two nights, and my first thought, of course, is ohmygawd, do you have any idea how many people I know who live in the Bay Area? A lot, let me tell you.

And I totally want to see them all, but, then, I'm there on business, so that kind of limits my "play time" and that makes me really want to just send everyone a message that says "Party in my room!" and I'm just not sure how well that would go over.

But the super fancy hotel does have a fitness center, with actual fitness classes, which is pretty damn awesome, really, except that they don't seem to have a beginner's yoga class at a time when I'm not in a meeting but that's ok because I'm there for work, right? So all I really need is what I usually use. Right?

Yeah.

Something like that.

It's a Great Night for a Date Night

2009-10-18T06:20:00.000-07:00

Last night, MonkeySee went to his very first Homecoming Dance.

With a date.omg.

MonkeyDo and I went to see the Sacred City Derby Girls, who rolled all over the Bay Area Derby Girls' ShEvil Dead. We left with 10 minutes left of the bout, and Sacred City was up by over 70 points. Wow.

We sat on the floor.
And lived to tell the tale.
Aren't these hair sticks the cutest things ever?

They're totally one of a kind - another pair of these will not be made this season. Your only chance to get your hands on this one of a kind Halloween accessory is to win them on Mrs. B's blog! Good luck!

Finally today, there's a song stuck in my head.

You're welcome.

Internets Radio

2009-10-17T05:30:00.000-07:00

I got this by way of Dawn, and it is a total scream. You will want to put your drink down, first. Really. And, also, pay attention to the words!

Making Biscuits

2009-10-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

Sure, she looks cute all cuddled up in my neck like that. But then she makes biscuits in my neck and all that slobber and teeny claw marks makes my neck irritated and rashy because I am, actually, allergic to cats.

Storm Watch 2009 (shutup)

2009-10-14T15:14:00.001-07:00

Some of you guys are going to read this and roll your eyes and think "OMG that California chick is such a candyass" (you know who you are).

But, seriously.

It's my blog and I'll whine if I want to.

Yesterday we had our first big storm of the season.

I've noticed that northern California is like that. We get one really good storm right up front, but then the weather goes back to nice for a few weeks and you're all "WTF?". Or you get one really big storm right up front, and then you get one milder storm after another for a month or two. That one really good storm usually causes a lot of damage, because nobody is really ready for how hard it hits. I think everyone's all "Oh, yay, it's going to rain, yay, fall!" And then about halfway through the day (because it's almost always just a day. Maybe two), we're looking out windows and asking each other "Holy shit, was that Dorothy's house that just went by?"

I don't know, I've never lived anywhere else, so I don't know if this is how that first big storm goes down elsewhere, or if this is just part of the California charm.

Anyway, the first big storm of the season bodyslammed us starting Monday night. I didn't think anything of it, other than "yay, rain!", because, you know, it rained all night and everything was how you'd expect it. A neighbor's portable basketball hoop fell into street, and there was that couch in the road. You know. the usual. Then it just kept raining and the wind was blowing, but, still, I didn't really think anything of it. We were snug as bugs in the house and everything was peachy.

Until the power went out.

It was about time to leave to pick MonkeySee up from high school, so we just kind of shrugged at each other and bundled off to pick him up. We figured we'd have early dinner, grab a couple necessities at the store, and then head back home. Everything would be back on by then, right? We usually lose power at least once during the storm season. Partly the joys of owning an older house in an older neighborhood, and partly the joys of our particular area, geographically, being one of the harder hit areas, storm-wise, in our region. Something about where we are just makes all the big storms congregate and hang out in our 'hood. It's like a party!

Oh, I should digress here for a moment to tell you about the palm trees. Our Bad Neighbors across the street have these two really tall palm trees. Every time we have a big storm (or even just strong winds), we eyeball those palm trees and wonder if this is The One that's going to bring them down. Now, I understand that palm trees generally withstand hurricane-force storms, so it's not palm trees in generally that freak me out during storms. It's these palm trees in particular.

See, the guy who owns the place (we'll call him "Ron") bought it from his parents, and actually grew up in the house. When he was 18, he set the palm trees on fire with bottle rockets (illegal), and was told that they were too top-heavy and needed to come down. Since then, Ron & the Missus have never had anyone even go up there to trim down the dead palm fronds, much less just cut the trees down. They're in their 40's now, so you can do the math on how long those trees have kept growing after they were told to cut them down.

I go outside to put something in the van and those trees are just swaying for all their worth, which is pretty normal for winds this fast, right? But then they were creaking with each sway. A really loud, kind of scary creaking. The front palm also had a distinct bend about halfway up the trunk. I quickly called Neighbor and asked if I could park our van on her parking pad, because she lives two houses down from us and out of the range of a falling palm tree. Oh, right. If either of those palm trees falls, it's coming down on Bad Neighbor's house, their next door neighbor's house (a World War 2 veteran and his wife), or our vans. I'm almost positive neither is tall enough to reach our house without the aid of some storm-throwing. So I moved one van, and we drove off in the other van.

The palms were still upright when I left this morning.

Back to our original story...

We left and we were gone for a couple of hours, doing our various things. Neighbor checked in with us here and there. Apparently the power had come back on at some point, but then went out again just after 5pm. We dawdled as long as we could, including touring the neighborhood to survey the damage, but, eventually, we had to go home.

To our dark house.

Our really, really dark house.

Did I mention it was dark?

Oh, right.

We set candles to light and thanked SweetPea's foresight in swapping out her electric water heater for a gas one all those years ago. And then we started remembering things. Like the laundry I'd planned on washing when I got home (oops). That thing my doctor gave me to keep me breathing at night? That runs on electricity? Oh, and did I mention about how I'm on my period and I use cloth pads?

Riiiight.

And that, after five days off, I had to go back to work the next day. And I wouldn't be able to go to the gym because I hadn't washed my gym clothes and, also, because then who would wake MonkeySee up since his alarm clock clearly wasn't going to do it for him. And nobody could make breakfast because there was no electricity to cook with and, also, because there was no opening of the refrigerator.

But that's all ok, right, because we live in The City and it's a new day and all that mess and that means all of the storm nonsense like flooded streets and downed trees and lack of power are going away because we live in The City where we pay people to take care of this shit, right?

Except that I just called the house and the answering machine didn't come on. Do you know what that means? That's right. We've still got no power.

Good-bye brand new groceries!

*sigh*

On the plus side, we've got a gas water heater and it's not very cold. Even if it was, we also have a gas heater, so at least we'd be warm (maybe) if it was that cold.

And all of this means that this morning I was standing in MalWart this morning starting at rack after rack of disposable pads and all I could think was:

OHMYGAY.

I mean, really? You just don't give a woman like me that many choices. You just don't. And, if you're big fat going to anyway, you have to put one of each variety out on display so I can actually see it. Because there is no way for my brain to make sense of those stupid descriptions and those damn illustrations and all I can really think is "Who the fuck wears thongs when they're on the rag?!?"

Honestly, I think this might have been the longest, most messed up vacation from work I've ever had.

I didn't even tell you the best part about our outing yesterday.

We had just picked MonkeySee up from school, and were driving away towards... Well... Not the school. We got to that part of the street where there are still kids walking here and there, but most of the parents have turned off and there aren't a lot of cars anymore.

There are these two kids walking on the other side of the street. They're minding their beeswax and just trying to get home before Noah tells them to get in the Ark. Then this asshole in a little black Toyota coupe thing comes whipping around the corner, and then dives into the gutter on purpose and sends a wall of water up and over the kids.

SweetPea flipped out.

Really.

She stopped in the middle of the road, dumbfounded, jaw hanging and then snapped her mouth shut, whipped the van around and started chasing the Toyota.

Ohyesshedid.

She chased that little black Toyota through the neighborhood until he pulled in to the parking lot of an elementary school and stopped. She pulled up next to him, rolled the window down and, when he got out of the car, started bawling his ass out.

Really.

She went off on him large and she was pissed and she meant it. And dude's little girlfriend sat wide eyed in the car and locked the doors like "You're on your own, dude, good luck!"

I don't think I have ever seen SweetPea that angry. Ever.

After she drove off, it took her a few minutes to calm down again. She was just so angry that anyone would do something like that and just act so flip about it. What would have happened if that ass had hit the puddle and lost control? Or if there was something in that puddle that he kicked up and hit one of the kids with? Just doing it at all is totally uncalled for, but thinking about all the things that could have happened... OMG!

So I'm whiney about my power being out, still, but my wife is a badass. So I guess it's ok.

Please Touch Breasts

2009-10-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

It might be possible that we at The Verbosery are unnaturally obsessed with the breast.

What can I say? I love tits.

Big, small, perky, not so much. What's not to love about the breast?

Because The Verbosery is such a big fan of the breast, we are definitely, definitely in support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month (a whole month dedicated to the boob!)

We're also particularly fond of the monthly breast self examination, and would like to encourage each of you to check your breasts, or the breasts of someone you love, every month.

Here are a couple of videos that show you how:

Now, I know some of you may not be as breast-obsessed as we are, but you should also know that men can get breast cancer, as well. Therefore, it's just as important that men preform a breast self exam on a regular basis. So, for the rest of you:

PS: All of the photos click through to where they're from, in case you're interested.

PPS: I planned on having more photos of man boobs, but they're really hard to find when you're not looking for dirty photos or plastic surgery promos. Did you know there are pectoral implants for that "weight lifter" look? Really?

PPPS: It should go without saying that The Verbosery only endorses touching the breasts of those that are willing to let you touch their breasts. Please ask first.

'The Spirit'

2009-10-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

A Case of You

2009-10-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday was the 7th anniversary of SweetPea and I being a couple, and our little foursome becoming a family. It's also the 5th anniversary of our original wedding*, the one on the beach in Bodega Bay. I'd share pictures of that, but then I'd have to hunt down the disk with the pictures. Here, have something that's actually in my flickr account:

This was way back in the day, maybe 6 months into our relationship. We're still total dorks, we've just started taking our own pictures since then.

Ordinarily, this is the part where I'd get all mushy about how awesome our relationship and our family is. I mean, it totally is, don't get me wrong. And I was looking forward to this anniversary, because every year it's a big thing, a big deal and seven? That's pretty awesome.

But the thing about having a family and having kids is that things never quite turn out the way you planned them to. So instead of an awesome, adventure filled weekend, MonkeyDo was sent home from school Friday with a fever and spent the weekend feeling like a train wreck**. So we didn't get to go to Witchapalooza***, and we didn't get to go see Sizzling Sirens Burlesque, and we didn't get to go to Apple Hill. Instead, I bought my apples from the Farmer's Market and found Pumpkin Spice Quark (Lemon, Vanilla Bean, and now Pumpkin Spice? Those cheese makers are maybe trying to kill me with this Quark business). We watched Practical Magic at least a dozen times. I applied coat after coat of paint and then varnish to the projects that I'm working on and they are almost done. Sunday we had a very special dinner of pizza and cake while watching The Incredibles and elbowing each other during the parts that always make us say "That is so you!" And it was a pretty damn good weekend, all things considered.

Sunday, MonkeySee and I got sent out to run errands, including pizza and cake purchases.

This week is Spirit Week at his high school, since Homecoming is this weekend. Every day of the week is a different "dress up" day... I always enjoyed this week when I was in high school... Especially Senior Year when I went dressed for "Twin Day" as twins with the guy I had a crush on (yes, I had a crush on a guy - it was so not the first one). I ended up keeping the jeans I'd borrowed from him for the outfit, and they were my favorite for a couple of years after that. If you can picture a man-child and a classically built, 36-25-36, long haired girl being "twins"... There we were!

Anyway, so today is Superhero Day at MonkeySee's school. MonkeySee has chosen to dress up as:

The Spirit

Get it? Get it? It's Spirit Week so he's going as The Spirit!

He totally got a fist bump in the store when he told me that's who he was going as. Very clever. The only downer is that his trench coat is tan and not black. That would have been really cool. Oh, and he doesn't have the mask. Although we may try to hit WalMart before school and see if we can grab one. I will definitely post pictures.

In other news, today's the day that my blog is featured on Mrs. B's Haunted Blog Tour. This, by the way, totally explains the new "look" on the blog - I've decorated for Halloween! (If you're reading this in a reader, you might want to stop by in person and give it a peep) If you're new here: Welcome! If you're a regular, and you haven't checked out Mrs. B's page, you might want to. She's giving away tons of prizes every day, and featuring new blogs and all sorts of good treats. In fact, look for something from Fat Femme Laboratory and Busted Knuckle Photography later this month!

One last thing: an Internets Radio from Practical Magic. There were a couple of covers of this song on youtube, including some by singers that I enjoy very much. But I grew up on Joni, so Joni it is. Enjoy!

*SweetPea and I were legally married on June 17, 2008 - the very first day it was legal for same-gender couples to marry legally in the state of California. MonkeyDo bawled her little eyes out at the ceremony, because she thought that our getting married meant we'd be breaking up soon - after all, that's what had happened with her dad & his second wife. We intend to set her perceptions of marriage right by example.

**MonkeyDo is feeling much, much better, but will probably miss another day or two of school.

***Did I mention the part about how Busted Knuckle Photography was specifically invited to purchase a booth at the event? In the end, we decided that we just weren't ready for this large of an event. And can you even imagine trying to pull that off with a sick kid at home?

Super Powers - Coming Soon!

2009-10-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

We went and picked up my new CPAP machine this morning. It took just over an hour to go over all of the finer points of the machine, including use and maintenance and cleaning, plus trying on the different masks and getting the one I picked "preliminarily fitted". I also got copies of the reports from both sleep studies, which, actually, I'd been really hoping to get to see.

Picking the mask out wasn't that hard. Because of my breathing issues (i.e. the perpetually clogged nose), the mask has to cover my mouth, too. This left four masks, including one that also had "nose pillows".

The first one I tried was the one they used for my second sleep study. It had been pretty comfortable during the sleep study, except that they had to keep adjusting it. When I tried it on, though, there was a significant amount of leakage through the bridge of the nose, directly at my eyeballs.

Then I tried this one. Mostly because SweetPea thought it would be amusing. Also, though, the technician said that some people who have higher prescriptions like this mask because it distrubutes the air pressure over more surface. Also, he said that some people prefer that the tension is distributed over more of your face. Personally, though, I found it disconcerting to have the air pressure over my entire face. Also, I really didn't like the mask going over my eyes like that. I have issues with not being able to see at night (why I have never worn a sleep mask). Even though the mask was completely transparent, there was still kind of that fear there. Not cool.

This was the last one I tried on and the one I ended up getting. I was amazed at how comfortable it was, and there was virtually no leakage whatsoever. Yay!

I still have to get it set up and all of that. It's going to involve some rearranging of furniture. The technician said it should go lower than me, preferrably on the floor. Well, on the floor next to my head is my nightstand, which also has stuff on it that I need near me. So... I've got some figuring out to do.

Now we're going to have a round of Fun Facts from my sleep study.

Ready?

The first sleep study, I fell asleep 5.5 minutes after "lights out" (seriously, I told y'all, I have no problem falling asleep). My first "waking" episode was 24.5 minutes later. It took 138 minutes for me to hit my first REM cycle after falling asleep. I was in REM sleep for a grand total of 12.5 minutes throughout the night, for a total of 4.4% (normal is 25%). My average heart rate was 88 bpm.

The second sleep study, I fell asleep 14 minutes after "lights out", and woke for the first time 30 minutes after falling asleep. I never hit REM sleep, not even once. That's right, I spent 0 minutes in REM sleep, for a total of 0% of the night (normal still being 25%). My average heart rate was 82.7 bpm. Also, the second report specifically recommends that "driving should be avoided if excessive daytime sleepiness is a concern." NICE.

In both studies, I spent the bulk of my sleeping time in Stage 2 sleep (78.4% and 83.1%, respectively). Normal is 50%.

It was definitely interesting to see so much about how I sleep. Especially since a bunch of it really sheds light on why I'm so tired, even when I "sleep" through the night. Maybe now I can get some real rest.

This is going to be So. Weird.

The technician was going on and on about how much better people feel after they start using these, and was rattling off the conditions that have been helped or cured by this simple act of getting enough air all through the night. Hell, most of them didn't even apply to me, but the thought of getting enough sleep, of my body going through the proper sleep cycles and actually being able to rejuvinate during the night... I am so excited! And, also, kind of nervous.

Wee! Adventure!

Internets Radio

2009-10-08T20:35:00.000-07:00

This is the song I had to hunt down tonight because I was taking a stupid internet quiz which asked what I would do if I was done wrong*, which, of course, put that teensy little snippet of song in my head and I had to chase it down.

You're welcome.

*The answer, by the way, is "fix it"**.

**There's a particular giggle I have. It doesn't come out often. It only comes out when I am plotting to "fix it". If you ever do hear it, it's a good probably not a bad idea to back away slowly.

***And, in the interest of full disclosure, you really have to push me pretty far before I'm plotting the kind of fix that draws out the giggle. Really.