Vermont Dreams

Loved Ones Lost

2022-03-16T23:36:00.001-04:00

There are moments in time when no matter what is going on in my life, I am fine, I am positive, and I keep moving. Then tonight out of the blue I watch a video of a man getting surprised over his wife's pregnancy and something about the purity of his reaction just hits me and I start bawling. I'm just flooded with the emotion that I so often cage up and all I can think about is how unfair life can be.

My mom, gone at the age of 46 due to cirrhosis of the liver due to alcoholism, has been gone for 14 1/2 years. My older sister age 43 is living with the same disease, although she came about it through her prior drug addition. My younger brother, age 32 is absent from my life as he is hiding his own drug addition. Now my father, who was diagnosed with ALS in November continues to progress at a rate that is downright unfair. I sit here watching the man I so admired and love just fall apart. Just putting on a jacket is at times impossible, he had to quit work a month ago because he had no strength to perform his job, and his voice is incomprehensible most of the time.

My life is not the only one that is unfair. My mother, my sister, my brother all experienced some sort of pain they could not overcome which brought them to where they are today. My sister who has been clean for 10 years now lives with the uncertainty of how much time she has left. My father, who has been nothing less than a kind man who would do anything for anyone, is now lost and soon to be gone from this world forever.

My heart hurts!

This past weekend when I held a family gathering at my home for my father, I learned of more heartbreaking news. My girlfriend lost her brother. This is the second friend of mine to lose a sibling in the past year and a half.

My heart hurts!

How much is a person capable of handling before they break? Because my heart just feels so heavy right now.

Wow! Eight years have passed!

2020-11-02T22:18:00.006-05:00

What a whirlwind of milestones, high points and lows since I last wrote. Let me give the short and fast for now.

In 2013, I started my career in Marketing, at the same time Mark and I purchased a home just a few blocks from where the kids and I previously lived. A few weeks later, we married in our backyard.

It was in 2014 that I successfully quit smoking, though I vaped for two additional years after that. This was also the year that the kids and I were reunited with Nicholas and Allicia. Their adoptive mother was very supportive in including us in their lives going forward, and I am ever so grateful. Camping was at Button Bay State Park in Vergennes, a place we frequented for several years. Last, we finally adopted a four legged friend named Max. He was quite crazy when we first took him in.

In 2015, my daughter hit the ground running with learning guitar. She even tried getting her brother interested. The kids, my friend Maegan, her two, and I went camping in the NEK. We were able to take the kids fishing for a bit until it poured, and I mean it straight up down poured shortly after we arrived and it didn't let up until the morning we were scheduled to leave, we couldn't have left earlier if we wanted to since my car was stuck in the mud. After the first night, we had to take the kids blankets and clothes to the laundromat to dry, because the tent did not keep the water out. We also stopped at the local hardware store to purchase a crazy expensive tarp to prevent the tent from leaking again. We survived and even went on a hike the last day. Our tents were tossed, along with the millions of slugs that attached themselves to the outside. Regardless, it was an experience that we will all remember for years to come.

2016 we started taking long road trips for family vacations. We visited Pennsylvania and the Hershey Factory, we stayed in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia where we met Mark's biological brother and walked the Luray Caverns, and toured Washington D.C.

2017 we took a family trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, with a stop in Virginia along the way. Krisanta attended prom her freshman year with a boy she had dated previously. I took Krisanta to a Green Day and a Breaking Benjamin concert, and took both her and my sister Sam to see Evanescence. We also adopted our beautiful Ruby, of which Max was not too pleased with.

The year 2018 was a hard one. It was a year of uncertainty, a year of sadness, and a year I felt hopeless and confused. This year nearly broke me, but it did not start off that way. In May, my daughter attended prom with a friend, while I traveled internationally for the first time to Aruba with a few girlfriends. Before the start of school, Caiden and I hiked and camped remotely on Camels Hump. I took Krisanta and a friend to see Black Veil Brides and Asking Alexandrea. Later, I took the whole family to see Bullet for My Valentine. Krisanta cried when they walked past us on the street, and again when she went backstage to meet them. I also drove the kids down to vacation in Virgina with Lael and Braylie.

2019 was the year of recovery for me. It was the year where I finally started paying attention to me and set goals for my future. I picked up college courses (7 for the year) and started working towards my degree again after laying dormant since 2006. It brought another trip to Aruba and a girls trip to Maine. It also included two concerts, one with the kids and I in Boston to see State Champs and another with headliners Papa Roach, Asking Alexandria and Bad Wolves. We took a family trip to Florida where we parasailed for the first time. And the in December, in 6 degree weather, I did something crazy and slept out in a tent to raise money for the homeless. I still get cold thinking about it.

Then there is 2020. The year of the pandemic. The year my daughter graduated from high school and the year I received my first degree. While it created challenges, it also created opportunities. While working from home and having the world shut down around us for the first three months, family is what we had to rely on. I am grateful to it because it is what helped my son and I bond and repair our relationship. I was supposed to go to California in May, take the kids to see My Chemical Romance, and go to my first country concert with Maegan. The California trip was cancelled and the two concerts are rescheduled for late 2021. I am still in college and on my 9th course for 2020. I am about 2 1/2 years into my second degree. I've spent a lot of my summer hiking and working on/paying for projects around the house. I took Caiden kayaking (my first time) and learned how to sew masks (I believe I am just over 100). I ended up traveling to Aruba in the middle of a global pandemic. Wow, what a difference it was from the last two trips. The flight was rescheduled a few times, COVID test required within 3 days of the trip, masks at all times (except when able to socially distance outside). Grocery store trips required that everyone has a grocery cart (to help distance), mask, and sanitation prior to entry. An officer was even posted outside to enforce this. Nearly every restaurant and store would take your temperature prior to entry and again, hand sanitizer required at the door.

In the past 8 years, I have traveled to Illinois, Massachusetts (a million times), Connecticut, Nevada, Virginia, Philadelphia, Maine, South Carolina, New Hampshire, Aruba, Rhode Island, and Washington D.C. Some for work, many for concerts, and otherwise for vacation. There were endless concerts attended by myself, my daughter and at times Caiden and Mark. I cannot count the number of times girlfriends and I biked the causeway to Snow Farm Vineyard, or the number of hikes I went on with friends and at times family. I gained two nieces, and reconnected with my stepfather and my older sister. There were a lot of heartaches, but for the most part, things eventually worked themselves out. There are still a few hang-ups and a bit of sadness, but I hope this individual is able to overcome their obstacles. All I can do is to model self-care and positive actions and hope they too see their value, their strengths, and their worth.

5 years this month

2012-09-15T22:01:00.001-04:00

The realization that 1/2 the reason why I am alive, is gone. I miss you mom, even though you may not have known it while you were here with us on earth.

2012-09-13T20:46:00.004-04:00

There gets to be a time when you realize that hanging onto a relationship with anyone who is not also an active participant in wanting to continue, is just not worth your time or effort. They are not worth the tears, disappointment or anger. There are far more important people in your life whom are active participants.

The people who are by your side are what matters and they are the ones who are deserving of your time, affection and love. That blood is not as thick as you once thought. Family sometimes becomes strangers; the paths we've each taken over the years no longer weave together but have become completely unraveled. We meet new friends, they then become like family. We create new lives, have children and fall in love.

Regardless, I am thankful for my past; what it has taught me and the paths that it led me down. If any of those paths had been interrupted or broken, I would not be who I am now with the ones that make my life amazing. I live without regrets in knowing that for all the hardships, I am stronger. Without one lesson or one interaction... my life now may not have turned out as good.

What did teachers do before???

2011-11-17T22:29:00.002-05:00

Last year and this year as well, Caiden's teachers have been after me constantly. Letting me know that Caiden did this or Caiden did that... he was unable to keep his body still, etc. Okay, I've tried the meds... they do not work for him and I'm not going there again. I've asked for additional help for him in school and it has been denied.

Caiden is on a very good schedule at home... but yes, he is also hyper. So what! I deal with it.

Now I'm not saying that the teachers did not have their hands full, but what the heck do you expect me to do? I can't be there during the day... supervision is left to the school and if he requires one on one then perhaps the school should do something to provide him with such. We are a single income household and guess what? That would be me.

Was there not a time before medication when there was no 'oh he/she needs drugs', children were managed. Have children really gotten that much worse or do teachers have a higher expectation because of the medications available.

I'd love to see them put their children on medications and watch them as they have constant emotional melt downs/anxiety/tantrums/weight loss/vomiting. I can tell you right now that I would never want another child to have to go through the roller coaster that my son was put through. Nor would I want another parent to have to sit there not knowing what to do with all the pressure for them to put their child on drugs knowing well that it is not something that you feel is right.

Little man...

2011-11-16T07:51:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I've checked in on my son and his medications. We continued the Concerta for about six weeks. The moods seemed to get worse and he was becoming more and more agitated. This past Thursday was the last day on that medication. He went Friday -Monday medication free and wile he was hyper, he was also happy.

Yesterday Caiden was started on Vyvanse... that turned out to be even worse than the Concerta. He cried the entire day at school and was unable to accomplish anything at all. Other than the cereal at home he had prior to taking the meds... he refused to eat anything at all, only ate a piece of bread at school. He also refused to drink. Oh... did I mention he has lost 4 pounds in the last few weeks? Yup! Went from a tiny 50lb to an even tinier 46lb boy.

We had an emergency visit with his physician, both came to the conclusion that medication will NOT work for him. It's putting his body through too much! She is going to contact the school to see about any councilors which may/may not be available for him during the school day.

This morning he woke up very thirsty and while he was only sipping, he was throwing up every time the water hit his stomach. He tried food a little later which stayed in for all of 15 minutes.

=(

I am so glad that we are done with medicines!!!

How do you begin to say goodbye?

2011-10-17T21:34:00.001-04:00

It's final from what I've been told, my niece and nephew will be adopted out.

Chances are they will not remember much of their cousins Krisanta and Caiden or their Aunt Sam, Uncle Anthony and Aunt Sandy. I have only seen them three times in the last year. Each time was not nearly long enough.

I hope they have a new beginning, a strong upbringing and a happy life. I will miss being able to give them big hugs and kisses.

Happy 10th Birthday Lil K

2011-09-22T21:02:00.001-04:00

Double digits "eeek" where does the time go?

Caiden and I sat on the edge of the bed this morning as he said "Happy Birthday Krisanta... Krisanta... Happy Birthday... Happy Birthday Krisanta... Krisanta I have a present for you" and at that she jolted awake. We sang the birthday song, ate some breakfast and were out the door for the day.

I got off work early, picked up two beautiful pink roses. Paid my respect to a loved one and then joined my children for a treat at daycare as they got off the bus. I gave K the second rose which was treated... not so respectfully so perhaps a 'note to self' not to bother next year.

Dinner at Tiny Thai, a Kindle and loved ones... I think it made for a spectacular birthday.

People amaze me every day...

2011-07-03T18:45:00.003-04:00

A casual trip to the grocery store started out with a bump.

I parked in a space where the curb was on one side and no cars were on the other. A older Canadian man pulls in crooked and close in a blue mini van and as I get my keys and purse and emerge from the car to open Caiden's he rounds his vehicle looking disgruntled and more or less demands right of way. Instead since he was now an obstacle I round to the other side to let the kids out opposite his side.

Caiden's little voice announces 'Excuse me please' as he opens the door and then 'Thank you' after he emerged. The old man then jumps on Caiden saying 'Look what you did' to which Caiden replies 'I'm sorry' followed by 'YOU no sorry!'. Really??? I round back to the drivers side to see what is going on, there is a little tiny white spot on the car. Regardless, what the hell right do you have to speak that way to my child when he has been nothing but polite to you. I instruct the kids to get back into the car on the opposite side and the man then says 'Why you no open the door for him' to which I replied, 'I went over there to open the door for them since you were blocking my way'.

So he then spins into 'I call the cops'. I politely responded 'You call the cops then and we will sit right here'. He pulls out his cell phone, walks over to get into his car, turns the engine on and sits there for a few minutes and then gets out and walks off. I announced 'Are you calling the police because we are waiting' to which he rudely waves me off and continues into the store.

My neighbor seems to think he wanted me to offer money.

Sheesh! Dick-wad!!!

FANTASTIC week off =)

2011-07-03T00:36:00.001-04:00

I'm so very grateful to get back outdoors and start exploring again... I haven't been this adventurous since before I had children. Now they have grown a bit, are old enough to explore and are actually excited about it too!

We spent Monday with a good friend of mine in Barton, not really exploitative but about an hour and a half drive to visit with friends of ours that we have not seen in a while.

Tuesday was pretty low key as we stuck around the house playing catch up on chores, taking a walk over to a nearby park and a great dinner with Mark at my place.

Wednesday I took the kids out for a 12 mile bike ride around our town and over to play at a local school park before the rain came in.

Thursday the kids and I stopped by their daycare to make smoothies with the rest of the children and later in the day we headed over to see my niece, nephew (whom I have only seen two other times in the last year) and my sister to take their family photos.

Friday a good friend Sarah, the kids and I headed down to Waterbury State Park to relax while the kids splashed around and to take us all out on a paddle boat in the reservoir. Later on I was surprised by their fathers offer to take them for the night so I took the opportunity to meet up for a dinner date with a female friend to get to know each other a little more.

Today we ventured out to Moss Glen Falls in Stowe. It was a great blast finding favorite rocks, taking photos of/by the falls and letting the kids wade in the water. Mark treated us to dinner at Friendly's followed up by bed time for the kids and relaxation for the two of us.

I still have two more days off until I have to return to work but I am very excited that the following week I will once again be enjoying much needed time with my children and my boyfriend Mark this time too.

A marker for my mom

2011-06-13T12:09:00.009-04:00

It is approaching four years since my mother passed. She has been resting in a spot with no claim for herself. My mother needs a stone.

Early this morning I went to the City Clerks to pick up a death certificate for my mother. To be quite honest this turned into quite an emotional day. I never saw the certificate until now. As I sat in my car giving it a once over I paused... what triggered the down pour was not under 'Immediate Cause' being multi-organ failure but rather 'Underling Cause' listed as end of stage liver disease and more bluntly 'chronic alcoholism'. I always knew that the cause of death is listed on the certificate itself, but I suppose it never really sunk in what my mothers would say. It's like taking away everything else about her.

I made several stops after, first to a monument center (which was not to open for several more hours) and then to pick up my sister to make a stop at our mothers resting place. On the ride I brought up the lack of a marker, apparently this has been bothering her for quite some time but even more recently (as with I). Neither one of us had a penny at the time of her death and could not contribute anything at all to her funeral expenses. She carried no life insurance policy and I walked in shame because I could not do a thing about her burial. The man who had shared the last 13 years with her gave her a last gift, the ceremony and burial with some help from the family.

Here we are almost four years later. I am not financially wealthy but in a much better place than I was before. After high childcare costs this summer I should finally be able to save up for a stone, FINALLY. Katrina and Jim also plan to contribute as well as Aunt Donna.

The three of us gathered after Katrina and I spoke with a nice man at the cemetery and gathered information on what we can put in there, size, etc and have come to the conclusion that we are going to have a monument for her by the end of October. Now the price will vary depending on what we choose because as it is, she is buried with her father and his stone currently marks the grave.

We have the option of moving my grandfathers flat stone forward and putting up a monument for my mother; this is a cost that I am willing to incur myself with as little or as much contributed from family members. However, there is space for two more in this plot should they also be cremated. So a lot of the family would like a monument with space for four names. If we go with a stone for four names, the cost will go up substantially. With that said we would need contributions from others in order to do this.

This is my way of putting it out there if any of you in the family would like to contribute towards a larger stone or if you would like to share your thoughts, please do. I will be collecting the funds and will set it aside until it is time to proceed, we are aiming for October. In addition, when the stone is finally set in place we would like to have a gathering at the cemetery.

Our beautiful Spring day =)

2011-04-09T21:10:00.000-04:00

I have two things to be very thankful for today, the gorgeous weather and how well my children got along. We started out our day taking a long walk down the bike path, took a break to get some creamies and trudged along to the nice new park.

Along the way we found a little friend and while we lost him for a bit later in the day he was rescued and is now enjoying his stylish new home in a butterfly garden.
The car got a very nice washing thanks to a few well behaved kiddos and their mom when we got home.

We also enjoyed the company of some good friends/neighbors, took an additional walk and later hung out to chat and play. All in all it was a fantastic day and am holding high hopes for another great day tomorrow.

Quality time

2011-04-07T20:56:00.000-04:00

Can I just say how much I l♥ve it when my daughter is so nice and loving to her little brother? While I may be running around the house cleaning/organizing/cooking dinner, I never fail to pause when I hear them getting along so nicely. Tonight she cuddled with him on the couch while reading (in such a soft voice) Three Little Pigs to him. She even had him chime in on the words he knows.

♥♥♥

Individuality

2011-03-31T21:13:00.002-04:00

I know, my babies are cute! =)

Sons = mothers with life long fear

2011-02-13T14:49:00.002-05:00

It amazes me that my son completely lacks the ability to determine what is safe vs. dangerous.

Today the kids and I went to the Racquet's Edge for a birthday celebration. All children pile out before the adults and next thing you know I can't see Caiden. When I find out that the pool is 4 feet deep my feet move a little quicker and I finally spot him, jumping right in and then thrashing trying to stay afloat. What was probably less than 30 seconds felt a whole lot longer as I get to the pool side and yank him out. He was fine, thankfully and once I checked him over we grabbed a life jacket and he was back swimming around and trying out the slide.

After he says 'thank you mommy for saving me I almost drowned'. I swear this boy of mine is determined to die young... or make his mama die young of a heart attack.

Great weekend

2011-01-29T22:13:00.002-05:00

Spent last night with my best girlfriend Sarah. We started the night out by dining at Madera's.... soooooooo good, yum! Then we took off to the movies to see 'No Strings Attached' which leads me to now believe if it were not for the wonderful man I already have then I'd be working on moving in on Demi's goods.

This morning I was up early and off to the spa with the gift certificate Mark gave me almost a year ago. Massage, manicure, keratin treatment and cut later and I feel great. Why ever had I not gone there sooner?

Krisanta had a birthday party this evening while Caiden and I took a trip to Lowe's. Silly boy wanted nothing to do with the tools or big project stuff, instead he was head over heels about the kitchen they had set up and then was overly eager to visit the plant section. He was so cute about it that I had to let him pick one out for himself, his sister that he loves so dearly and for mommy. He had such a hard time narrowing it down to just three as he found love in every plant there. The little man will make his future wife so happy some day. =)

Our weekend...

2010-12-19T21:10:00.000-05:00

So very close to Christmas =)

The kids and I stayed with Mark last night. Once the little ones were all tucked in Mark and I got busy wrapping the gifts. I can't tell you how much I love watching him help me... and enjoy helping.

This afternoon I curled my daughters straight hair and dressed both her and my son up so that I could get a few photos for the holidays. Mark's fireplace was such a fantastic place to do it. =) Krisanta of course was an easy subject to work with. Caiden on the other hand did not want to cooperate... in the end however I did get a few nice ones for memories sake.

I really am that lucky

2010-12-17T21:07:00.000-05:00

I've had such a fantastic last month. I'm in-love beyond all means and feel so lucky to have someone in my life who treats me with such high respect and adoration. Last Saturday we celebrated three years together... I look forward to many more.

The week prior I purchased (well I'm paying the bank monthly towards it) a new vehicle. It's wonderful and I have decided this car is a lady... just need to figure out her name.

Tonight my children have been so very well behaved and believe it or not they have not fought or said one ill word to each other in the time since I got out of work. They were even snuggling which pretty much never happens.

A day with my dad

2010-11-17T21:09:00.000-05:00

A few days ago I received a text from my father asking if it was okay to talk. May not sound out of the ordinary for most but for my father and I, it was a big step. We have not talked in nearly a year and a half and had not seen each other since March of 2009. Needless to say I had not been expecting it. The chat was nice and long overdue, we had made plans to spend today together.

Dad and my little sister Samantha arrived around 9am after I had dropped the kids off at school. We went out to breakfast and browsed the mall. We all had a lot to talk about. After we dropped Sam off he kept me company for the remainder of the day and into the evening.

I am very happy to have had the chance to see him and I hope that things continue in the right direction.

New Perspective

2010-11-16T22:22:00.003-05:00

This past Saturday I opted for a day without worries, objective, time lines or specific destinations. I instead decided to let the road lead me in solitude travels. Geared with hiking shoes, a sweatshirt, beverages, a few snacks and my camera I set off not knowing where I would end up and not a care in the world. I made several stops along the way, taking my time to enjoy the scenery and get a few photos of what we all too often take for granted. In the end I came home with some wonderful reminders from my adventures. I hope you all enjoy them too!

Autumn is here

2010-10-24T21:45:00.000-04:00

This weekend was busy but so much fun. Friday started out with a sleepover for my 9 year old gal. Menu consisted of spaghetti tacos (i-Carly fans) followed up by a fashion show and a movie. Saturday started out with some yummy french toast, some painting and leaf jumping.

Once K's friend left we got into the construction paper, scissors, glue and some imagination. We now have a wall decorated in pumpkins, witches, ghosts and bats. Mark came over for sweet and sour chicken, rice and sliced cucumbers and once the kiddos were tucked in it was time for our movie time.

Today was a little mellow as it was raining outside and a bit cold. K and C wanted to carve pumpkins so that was our task, however they (again) decided the guts were too gooey and gross for them and asked me to take care of it for them. Wii and relax time before pizza then baking pumpkin seeds and banana bread.

It was a fantastic weekend. =)

Regret nothing...

2010-08-30T21:42:00.000-04:00

In my life I regret nothing, not one act, not one word, for if I left one word unspoken, one act left undone I may not be where I am today or who I am now. To regret would take away all that I am, all that I have and all that I love.

The Race

2010-08-09T19:49:00.000-04:00

Team Vermont Gas along with 74 other teams of 21 participated yesterday in the Dragon Boat Races on the Burlington waterfront. The weather was not as we had initially anticipated but we made the best of it. So many people all pepped up to begin. Elaborate attire, creative cheers and excitement to support a great cause for little babes was just a small part of we were fortunate to partake in.

Our first race began at 9:40am we were ready and were paddling in sync with each other perfectly. Due to the weather and a ferry boat going by, the waves were quite choppy. Needless to say as we were sitting idle a wave came up on our left side and knocked our boat on its side within seconds. No time to think or to react. Once it was over we searched for our teammates... one was missing. We were all a little frantic and very worried as her partner reached under the boat and had to pull her down in order to get her out on the other side. She is okay thankfully and we are all very grateful for his quick thinking. A tad bit winded, a little shaken up but in no time we were picked up by the rescue team. Some towed behind and some on board. While the water was incredible in temperature, the wind was not so kind on wet skin.

We are very thankful to the guys on the Ambulance crew... while actual treatment was not needed, the blankets they had on board helped take the chill out of our cold, wet skin. Especially when the wind was blowing hard, the sky was covered with clouds and the outdoor temperature was not very high.

Even with the scare we had on the first outing, we were still determined to start at least one race... and finishing would be nice too. The second time around everyone was a tad bit reserved and more than a little nervous that we would tip again. Needless to say, we didn't finish first but we finished none the less. YEA TEAM!

A very special thanks to my wonderful boyfriend for getting up bright and early to come out and support us. He even took charge with my camera and got some great shots. =) Thanks Mark!!!

Vacation in Maine

2010-08-01T11:06:00.000-04:00

Amazingly enough the kids were quite well behaved on the long road trip to Maine, they were pretty excited about everything they were looking forward to doing.

There were a few stops on the way there and when we exited the car Scrappy would take up a new seat, he even looked pretty cute when we came out of the store and found him behind the steering wheel.

The kids of course were quite goofy from the time we arrived, but they were a great help with setting up camp.

Campfires were nice and relaxing. Of course the kids loved toasting marshmallows (or having the adults toast them for them while they eat away) and s'mores.

Day two the kids got to play in the ocean for the very first time (Caiden's first time ever seeing it). It proved to be a huge hit regardless as to the bone chilling temperature. The expressions were awesome and excitement was completely wild.

It was so nice to have some relaxation time with the family and to not have the distractions of home such as television, computer, etc. Instead the little gal brought a book and a few dolls. My little man brought his fishing pole where we tied a pine cone on for safe on land fishing and of course a ton of matchbox cars. He found a few friends in the camper next to us who spoke French. Even though there was the barrier of language they all seemed to understand most of what they were trying to get across. He shared his toys and they all seemed to have a great time.

Scrappy as well had his first Ocean experience a little later in the day. No dogs 10am - 5pm, he had a blast trying to eat the waves and getting knocked over by a few at the same time.

Great photos to remember our trip, cannot wait until next year for another family vacation.

Monsters

2010-07-25T17:38:00.001-04:00

Caiden woke up the other night and crawled into bed next to me...

'AAAAHHHHH mommy a monster!!!' I look where his head is pointed and say 'Where?'

He responds, 'Right There, Right There.... AHHHH he is moving'.

Again I ask where and he points to items on my dresser. I pick items up one by one as he continues to freak out. 'A monster, a monster... right there, right there!!!'