VERTIZONTAL

The Prayer

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 19:52:00 +0000

Quirky Leadership Promo #2 - The Prayer from John Voelz on Vimeo.

I’m a big fan of prayer. All the time. At work. At home. At play.

Prayer is conversation. When we are in relationship with someone, conversation is a normal practice. Or it should be. If we stop conversing, we put distance between us. Duh.

I’m a fan because I’ve seen it work. Because I hear from God. Because I need wisdom. I need strength. I need to come clean. I need to trust. I need to rely on God. He centers me and gives me perspective through prayer. He helps me recognize his faithfulness as I pray and remember.

The list goes on. And let’s not forget, I pray because God instructs us to many times throughout scripture and it was Jesus’ habit.

I don’t pray about what to clothes to wear. I don’t pray about what to eat. I don’t pray about hygiene choices.

I don’t pray about everything.

It’s not that I don’t want God’s opinion. God speaks to me in other ways besides prayer. Through other valid vehicles.

I don’t need to ask God about what to wear because there are cultural rules, common sense, style, modesty concerns, wisdom, city laws and ordinances, and my own personal style that come in to play there. Not to mention my wife’s tastes and opinions.

It’s not necessary to get on my knees regarding breakfast or dinner. Those choices are sometimes dictated by what’s in the cupboard, who I am dining with, how much time I have, my dietary restrictions, and my cravings. Sometimes I eat too much. My stomach tells me that. And, I feel guilty sometimes because God has already revealed to me in His word I shouldn’t be a glutton.

I don’t pray about hygiene because my stink and discomfort dictate when it’s shower time. Even if my dentist didn’t remind me my health is predicated on good brushing habits, my breath and sore gums would surely give me away.

I don’t get on my knees about every decision I make as a leader.

I was recently challenged on my lack of prayer in decision making. We are starting a short-term meeting for the men of our church upstairs in a coffee shop on Sunday evenings. When we revealed the plan someone asked how God revealed we should do this. I told them it seemed like the right timing, we had a few patterns we are observing that need to be addressed, and we decided, “Why not?” I told them we were willing to give anything a shot for a period of time if all the planets aligned.

Apparently the phrase, “If all the planets align” reeked of some mystical new age sentiment to them though I only used it as an idiom to mean everything seems right surrounding the decision. They asked, “Did you guys pray about it?”

Here’s the thing: We pray regularly for the needs of our congregation, our families, and our city. We ask God for wisdom and direction. He provides answers through wise council, history, personal reflection and past lessons to name a few. We know some choices are better than others based on what we know about our city, our church, our own skill sets and abilities, our own tastes, and the temperature of the congregation. We know what things we should not do because they are either expressly revealed in the Bible (we shouldn’t open a strip club for Jesus), it isn’t our personality, or we are too taxed with our current calendar of events.

So, did we pray about it?

Absolutely.

Not specifically at a given moment in time on our knees in a prayer closet with an open Bible. Not about the specific start or end time. Not about the location. Not on a prayer retreat. Not with the entire church. Not with a vote at the end.

We prayed about it on the way.

On the way to paying attention. On the way to listening to opportunities as they present themselves. On the way to engaging our city. On the way while we listen to our people and hear their struggles. On the way to being good human beings. On the way as we invite the Holy Spirit to partner with us and direct our steps.

When it comes to decision making, we want to be able to respond quickly to the Spirit, or to a need, or to our intuition, and that requires us to be constantly in prayer. We pray in advance of any crisis or opportunity so we don’t have to slow down and try to hear from God in order to move forward. That way, when good opportunities come, we can capitalize on them quickly and with confidence.

A letter to the Childish Men I Don't Know but Observe Every Day (A Cathartic Diary Entry)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 18:39:00 +0000

Dear diary,

People expect pastors to have an opinion on matters. It’s part of the job. But individual rebuke/correction is done in relationship. Where there is trust. Where there is invitation. Where that expectation of accountability and editability has been established. Where you can be certain you have the other’s best interest at heart. When you can be certain you don’t enjoy it. (I have two or three men who call me out on things in my life that have gone awry. They are my life editors. Relationships like theirs are precious).

Calling out someone one-on-one isn’t always appropriate. I’m a big fan of communication rules, biblical process, and weighing our intentions and the potential for growth. I’m also aware it is not my job to convict.

Sometimes, the rules allow me to say harsh truths to a general audience. Large groups of people, in the context of a sermon, will hear instruction and even rebuke differently than if they heard the same thing spoken to them as an individual.

For example, if I am preaching and I say, “Men, quit being an idiot and _____________ (fill in the blank)” it will often get met with laughter, applause, nods of approval, and/or conviction. A few men might even meet me afterward who say something like, “Man, I felt like you were talking right to me. The Holy Spirit really used your words. Thank you.”

However, if I pick out that same guy from the crowd and talk to him after church and say, “Hey, man. You need to quit being an idiot” he might punch me in the face. If I’m honest, I think sometimes it would be worth it.

Sometimes, I wish I could say a few things with no fear of backlash. With no fear of anyone saying, “Are pastors supposed to talk like that?” Sometimes I wish I could break all the communication and relationship rules and just say what needs to be said.

I have an opportunity to observe the lives of many men. I'm privy to more stories. I get a closer view than the average guy because many send me emails or Facebook posts--looking for advice and direction. Because their wives complain about them. Because their kids express feelings to me. Because of my community involvement. Because they sometimes show up at church. Because I watch them live out their lives in social networking.

It’s easy to get depressed as I watch lives waste away. Lives that are close enough to reach but far enough away to lack permission to speak. Close enough to ask for a handout but not be interested in real help.

Sometimes I wish I could lay aside my role, lay aside all the rules, and take a few guys out coffee.

As a human.

As a fellow sojourner.

As a dad.

As a husband.

As a father.

As a fellow townsman.

Man to man.

Because I see them hurting.

Because they are hurting others.

So, here’s a shout out to all the men I don’t know but I get to observe (although, you probably aren't reading this).

Not the ones trying hard, loving others, giving themselves away, being humble, working hard, investing in their community, and loving their families. I’m talking to the other ones.

Listen up only if it applies to you.

Quit whining.

Quit being self-absorbed.

Kill your Facebook account until you learn responsible communication.

Put on your big boy pants.

Put down the video games.

Grow up.

Start paying attention to your family.

Get a job.

Don’t tell me there are no jobs. You just don’t want that one.

Swallow your pride.

Keep it in your pants.

You’re a bona fide jerk. Only bona fide means genuine. You are not.

No one owes you anything.

Get your poop in a group.

Make real friends.

Allow people to edit your life.

Quit being lazy.

Your wife deserves something better but she’s stuck with you. Rise up.

Go find your balls. You may think you have them. But you don’t.

Break that habit.

Apologize.

Treat her right. That’s someone’s daughter.

There’s a reason everyone hates being around you.

Your adolescence should have ended 20 years ago.

Quit being comfortable with living off the government.

I’ve heard your story 100 times. Now shut up and do something about it.

Follow through.

Break up with your girlfriend.

Quit going to the strip clubs. Use that money to buy food for your family.

No one hears you crying wolf anymore.

No one “did this” to you. Except you.

Pay back the money you borrowed (stole) from your friend.

Listen.

There is a life worth living.

The people around you are valuable.

There is such thing as hope.

As joy.

I wish it were this easy.

My Church. My Tribe.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 21:57:00 +0000

Today I started an online course with Jeff Goins. In our first lesson, we learned about the importance of having a tribe for a writer.

Jeff’s definition of tribe is “ . . . a specific group of individuals bound to one another around a common cause or idea.” He goes on to say, “A tribe is more than a niche or a target group” but rather a group of people that resonate with a worldview.

As a writer, I’ve determined my tribe over the years. After my first lesson today I started writing about my tribe (from a writer's perspective), as I know her.

“We are those disenfranchised with church but we still love her deeply. We are men and women who have a good deal of angst towards mediocrity. We are hard workers and we aren’t afraid to get our hands dirty or take stones in the public square. We are stubborn and teachable at the same time. We aren’t afraid to fail. We often challenge traditional church methodologies but we respect where we’ve come from. We think change for the sake of change is wonderful and helpful in ministry contexts. We are creative. We have never been accused of being docile but that doesn’t mean we like to fight. We are willing to try new ideas . . . “

What I was reminded of as I was jotting this stuff down is that tribe is not only important for writers, it’s important for Quirky Leaders.

INSTEAD OF ASKING, “WHO DO WE WANT TO REACH?’ WE NEED TO ASK, “WHO ARE WE MOST LIKELY TO REACH?”

In my new book, Quirky Leadership I wrote, “It has been a popular practice in churches over the past decade or so to take a prompt from the business world and clearly define the “target audience.” Churches that define target audiences are usually asking questions about who they are catering to, who is in their neighborhood, and how they should tailor their programs and messages to meet the particular needs of that group. In many ways, this is how businesses approach sales.

At Westwinds, in relation to programs and The Cue, our approach is different in more ways than it is similar. We certainly would agree it is unwise to believe one model or device that works well in one demographic would work as well in another. Instead of asking, “Who is our target audience?” we ask a different question based on who we are, our personalities and culture, our backgrounds, and the kind of bona fide creativity and thought patterns that flow from within. We ask, “Who will most likely be attracted to Westwinds?”

FIND FREEDOM
There is great freedom that comes with knowing your tribe.

Knowing your tribe starts with knowing yourself. Constantly trying to adapt to whom you think you’re supposed to reach will leave you wanting and will ring inauthentic. Continuing to change your message and style to adapt to an audience someone else told you you’re supposed to speak to will only allow your voice to fly at half-mast.

Knowing the tribe you lead helps you weigh criticism. Not everyone will like your voice, your style, or your leadership decisions. But, being true to those very things will keep you on task and help you define what things are truly worth fighting for. You will not have the support or gain the trust of everyone, but you will have the support and trust of the ones who know what he or she signed up for.

Quirky leaders find this kind of freedom within their tribe as they remain as available and accessible as possible, talk like a real person, and give people the back lot tour of their lives.

People are eager to follow someone who looks, sounds, listens, and acts human. When Quirky Leaders know their tribe, they are given permission to speak in to that tribe. They are invited. Their leadership, instruction, voice and opinions are all anticipated.

St. Patrick's Analogies Humor

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 17:00:00 +0000

I was on a plane most of the day on St. Patrick's Day. When I finally went through my email today, I saw a friend had sent me this.

The Restaurant Owner

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 14:30:00 +0000

Quirky Leadership Promo #1 - The Restaurant Owner from John Voelz on Vimeo.

My good friend owns and operates multiple local breweries, wineries, and restaurants. Because he knows I’m directly involved with steering design elements in the church I pastor, and because he knows I am deeply committed to investing in our city, he recently recruited me to design the branding and aesthetic of his new venture in our city’s downtown.

I’ve learned a lot about the industry in the process.

I’m amazed at how similar our “business” lives are. Restaurants and churches are both about people. People come to both with expectations. People make decisions on whether or not to return within the first few moments of their first visit. If people like a restaurant they will tell all their friends about it. If they hate it they will do the same.

There are a lot of differences as well. A restaurant is not a perfect analogy for church by any means. But let’s forgo examining the ways the metaphor is inadequate for now.

My friend is the leader of his business. He has a clear vision and business plan. His business is not like other businesses by design. He doesn’t want to own a chain or franchise—his business is unique.

There are certain “fair” expectations people have about his businesses e.g. there should be beer at the brewery and wine at the winery. But, since he is the leader of his company, he can serve up those items as he sees fit. He does what he thinks is best for his customers in the environment he is situated in flavored by his own preferences and quirks.

He just started a mug club for his new business. Before the mugs were fired, he invited mug owners to put their own thumbprint in the soft clay. As wonderfully unique as this idea is, he knows some will complain the mugs don’t fit just right or aren’t big enough or are too large. Complaints come with the territory but he sticks to what he knows is best.

There’s a lot of his personality all over his business. Good, bad, or indifferent. It is an extension of him. He doesn’t apologize for that.

He’s open to suggestions. He’s adapted his menu here and there after listening to patrons but he’s not a slave to people’s opinions. He knows his restaurant is not for everyone.

There have been employees with good suggestions and those who have been caustic and divisive. Some have hurt his business. Too many have undermined his authority by trying to change things they shouldn’t and setting themselves up as the expert.

But my friend is the owner. He is the leader. If the business doesn’t succeed he has no one to blame but himself. He makes tough calls. He works hard to make it the best it can possibly be. He is invested.

He hires people and keeps them employed (or not) based on their work ethic and their understanding of and commitment to the mission he feels strongly about.

Everyone understands and expects my friend to step up and make the ultimate calls for the design, personality, business plan, layout, music and entertainment choices, menu, and color scheme of the business he leads.

I don’t know of a successful restaurateur who allows his or her staff to overrule, allows his or her patrons or staff to alter the brand, or leads by consensus. But I know many church leaders who have at least one if not all of these shackles.

I don’t know of a restaurateur who has successfully branded his business as a half-assed copycat of another. But I know of a few church leaders who have gone that route with equal frustration.

Maybe they don’t know how to step in where the last guy left off. Maybe the church is small and the power brokers have held the reigns for a long time. Maybe it’s fear that holds them back. Maybe tradition.

Church leaders, like restaurateurs, need to have permission to surface what they believe about how things get done, how things should look and sound, what is (or is not) on the menu, what roles staff members play, day to day business, community relations, and who will most likely be attracted to their particular flavor and panache. They cannot allow someone else to brand them or choose a menu that is the lowest common denominator, least offensive, or most appealing to imaginary guests they may or may not have.

The role pleads for the discerning of one’s own palate, being familiar with the local crops, bartering with local merchants, and creating a feast that celebrates the individual’s culinary genius. They must stand behind what is being served. When they are approached by someone who thinks their cuisine is detestable or needs to be changed, they need to be able to say, “I’m sorry it’s not to your liking. This is what we serve here. And we’re darn good at it. It’s local, home-grown, prepared by our own chefs, and our regular clientele find it amazing.”

iCreate 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 05:00:00 +0000

This is the third year of iCreate. It started with Westwinds' desire to partner with local schools in ways that encourage and give a platform to the creativity of children as we celebrate what it means to be human.

My aunt is a published poet. She used to sit with me and write poetry. She encouraged me. She celebrated with me as I put those words to melodies at her Kimball "Magic Chord" organ. That investment she made in me has paid off in my confidence, my skills, my art, and my desire to teach others. It was these memories that funded my dream of iCreate.

3 years ago we began inviting schools to participate in writing poetry based on the themes of perseverance and/or courage. This year we added the theme of hope. The local schools' staffs choose two winning poems from each grade in their school (3-8 grade). Those poems are submitted to the iCreate band made up of local musicians from Westwinds and throughout Jackson. On the night of March 6, the band will reveal songs written from the children's poetry in a multimedia concert extravaganza at the historic Michigan Theatre.

Students have an opportunity to win art scholarships, gift certificates, recognition in front of their family and peers, and (best of all for many of them) the chance to have their poetry turned into a song that will be written and performed by local musicians and songwriters. One Grand Prize winner will receive a brand new guitar and guitar lessons.

The evening of the performance, students will arrive and be escorted down a red carpet surrounded by screaming fans with cameras. Inside the historic theatre, guests will be treated to a video about the history of iCreate full of interviews with children and faculty of local schools. With no time to waste, the band will reveal song after song. Country, blues, bluegrass, rock, punk, reggae, folk . . . they've all been done before.

This is what local schools are saying:

"The iCreate" project has really created quite a stir at Bean Elementary. We had a large number of students participate last year, and expect even more to jump on board this year. This has given students a valuable opportunity to showcase their creative writing skills and to watch in amazement as their words are put to music. Watching kids light up at the realization that their words can move others is so rewarding and fun to see. We're excited to partner with our friends at Westwinds!”

–Mike Ykimoff, Principal, Bean Elementary School

"iCreate has motivated Paragon students to take their writing to the next level. When students see their poetry come alive thought music, their faces light up. We are grateful to be a part of an event that builds success in our school and community."

–Zack Perfitt, Principal, Paragon Charter Academy

Join us Wednesday, March 6 at 6:30 at the Michigan Theatre in downtown Jackson.

Who Should Pay for Lunch?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 22:37:00 +0000

For quite some time I’ve been wanting to write this post but never feel like the timing is right since I usually remind myself right after a lunch with someone and think, “If I write this, they’ll know I was talking about them.”

But, today is the day.

I have either lunch or coffee with someone about 5-10 times a week on average. No matter the cause for meeting, or who initiated contact, it’s somewhat of a social experiment when it comes to picking up the check.

These aren’t “biblical” rules or advice by any means. But, these rules and advice apparently aren’t common sense either so, maybe I can help. Here are some simple, polite rules and advice for “who pays for this?” situations.

Whoever did the inviting should pay for lunch. This rule is the most important of all rules. It’s common sense and should win out in any situation where there is confusion. If you invite someone out and make it clear you will each pay for your own meal and “meet up” somewhere, that’s different. But, when you invite someone out, pay. If you were the person who was invited out, you might offer to pay for your portion of the lunch out of courtesy. However, if you are going out with someone you always hang out with, offer to pay for yourself even if they did the inviting.
If you invite another to lunch by saying, “I need to talk to you” you should pay. The above rule applies here anyway but it is doubly important to pay when someone knows there are “things” to be discussed that may be a burden to you. It is common courtesy to pay for lunch if you are asking something of someone. Doesn’t matter if you want their advice, listening ear, or you want to complain to them; if you NEED to talk to them, buy their lunch. In those situations where you say, “I need to talk to you” and THEY suggest lunch, you should still pay. If you don’t want to pay, don’t agree to meet over lunch.
If you are inviting your pastor to lunch you should pay. This is a hard one since I am a pastor and I know everyone reading this will think I’m asking for a free lunch. But, truth be told, it is courteous to pay for your pastor. This is true for anyone in a professional people-business field (teacher, city council, counselor, etc.). Professionals in the "people business" are rarely taken to lunch on a friend-to-friend basis. Usually someone wants something of him or her. Even if it is “to get to know them better” it is kind to pay for your pastor. If one pastor is inviting another pastor to lunch ask the questions: Did I do the inviting? Do I want something from them? In these cases, the first rule applies.
If you take someone to lunch to reprimand him or her, you should pay. Seriously, if you take someone to lunch to give him or her a spanking and expect him or her to pay, you are a bit of a jerk. P.S., if that is the nature of your lunch, you should tell them beforehand with something like, “I want to talk about some things that need improvement. Can I please buy you lunch and talk them through?”
If you invite a volunteer you oversee to lunch, pay for them. Period. Seriously. But, if they invite you to lunch, the first rule applies (invitee pays), though not strictly. If the volunteer invites you to lunch it may be appropriate to at least offer to pay for your own.
If a boss invites someone to lunch, he or she should pay. If you are the boss, everyone will say, “yes” to you because they don’t want to say, “no” to the boss. However, if the boss and employee are friends outside of work, it’s okay for people to pay for themselves. Talk about the arrangement beforehand and keep the other rules in mind.
If someone gives you free tickets to an event and invites you along, you should offer to pay for a meal while out. They can decline but it’s cool to offer. This can be tricky if THEY pick the restaurant you are going to that night and they pick an expensive one. In these cases, offer to pay for your own or simply be honest and say, “Hey, I’d like to pay for dinner but my budget is a little tight. Can we go somewhere more affordable?”
If someone invites you to double-date pay for your own dinner. They are just saying they want your company. Double-date doesn’t mean they want to treat you.
If you are interviewing someone for a job you should pay. If you don’t hire them, you want them to at least feel like it was worth their time and they aren’t out any money.
If you agree to go to lunch with someone and expect they will be paying, have a backup plan for payment. I always make sure I can ay for myself even if it seems obvious to me they should be paying. When that check sits on the table forever or in those situations where they are trying to pawn the bill off on me, I speak up and say something like, “Let me make sure they put this on separate tickets.” This breaks the awkwardness and allows them to say they will cover the bill or, at least you know where you stand and you don’t get stuck with their bill.
If you are “out and about” with someone and you pull your car into a restaurant for a coffee, you should offer to buy him or her something. They are in your car. You are in control. It’s not polite to drink coffee in front of someone without asking him or her.
Be careful not to set up an expectation for a repeat offender. If I get invited to lunch because someone wants my counsel, I expect they will pay but I have my backup plan. If they invite me to lunch again, I expect I am going to have to pay for myself so I either say something like, “Why don’t we meet at my office?” and avoid having to buy my lunch or I say something like, “Just so I can plan ahead is this your treat?”
If the server asks, “Is this on one or two bills?” and someone invited me to lunch, I let them answer. Then, I know where we stand right away.
If a young student or an unemployed person asks you to lunch, you might offer to pay. Don’t assume the student knows the rules yet or that they have any money. Truth be told, they might assume you are paying since you are older and wiser and probably wealthier. Know this going in and don’t feel bad about paying for them if you agree to meet. It might even be nice to offer to pay for them buy saying, “I was a student once. Let me pick up the bill.”
The unemployed person might not expect you to pay but it’s cool to offer. On some occasions, if the person is unemployed they may act a bit defensive because they are frustrated (and maybe a bit prideful). Still, take the weight off of them. Take the wondering out of the equation for them. Or, better yet, be honest from the start and say, “I know you’ve been out of work. I’d like to pay for this lunch.” They may refuse, but it’s nice to know someone cares.
Honesty takes away the awkwardness. If I ever am in a situation where I am broke and someone asks me to lunch, I have no problem saying, “Hey, thanks. I’m totally broke. Can we meet somewhere else?” This way, I give them an opportunity to tell me it is their intention to pay or, I at least take myself off the hook. Whatever situation you are in, calling out the awkwardness makes it go away. Never be afraid to ask for clarity ahead of time. This works both ways. If you invite someone to lunch but don't expect to pay for them, tell them.

I'm sure I haven't covered EVERYTHING. Anything you want to add?

"I Don't Even Know You Anymore!": Perceived Intimacy in Social Networks

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 19:45:00 +0000

In 1963, anthropologist Edward T. Hall coined the concept of proxemics. The concept says (my paraphrase); What we intend to communicate and how messages are received are affected by the distance between us and another human being (space) as well as by certain “codes” we send intentionally or not (body temperature, touching, eye contact, smell, volume). The categories of space Hall identified are public, social, personal, and intimate space.

Each space has rules and expectations. Some seem intuitive e.g. “Mom! She’s touching me!”(personal space invasion) and others are learned; such as the unfair expectation of thinking one will find community in a church service (public space) he or she attends two times a month.

Internet Social Networks exist in a space we are still defining. I like to call it the Not-So Space (or Nutso as the case may be). Not-So Space aggregates friends, family, and acquaintances in to something that only resembles and has ripples of the traditional spaces.

Here, a post our spouse makes is followed with a quip from a co-worker, and then commented on by an old elementary school friend who is recognized by someone we barely know who attends our church. While these newly discovered connections are often amusing, the fallout is frequently a false perceived intimacy that is exponential compared to a scenario where all these people meet on the street. Soon, the person we barely know is swapping recipes with our co-worker and posting emoticons on our vacation pictures. The feeling that we’re all in this together is intensified in Social Networking (SN) platforms.

Many recognize this false sense of intimacy and as such have abandoned the mediums in favor of “real community” found in traditional spaces. Frustrated by sarcasm and name-calling by people who think they have a right to speak into one another’s lives, many are leaving SN behind. Bewildered at how someone we barely know is offended by something we posted or saddened because we did not wish them a virtual “happy birthday,” more are shutting down their profiles.

I was asked to facilitate a wedding for a church attendee. In the course of negotiations the couple decided to have another friend facilitate. They asked if I would still attend. I was happy to do so and put the date on my calendar. Due to a calendar sync computer issue, the date came and went.

Days later, I received a Facebook message saying I was missed at the wedding. I apologized and explained. They said they understood. Weeks later, I received another message saying how hurt they were—especially since they saw posted photos of me at another party. I hadn’t made contact with them at church since the wedding and they wondered why I was “ignoring them” adding, “It seems like you go to everyone’s events but ours.” Truthfully, I barely know them.

Internet communication and devices have heightened perceived intimacy between us all.

Most nights I can be found at home with my wife snacking and sipping wine. Then again, a camera on every phone combined with tagging photos has depicted me as a party animal. I may go to two gatherings a month but a hundred shared photos of me tell a different story.

Bite-sized conversations make it seem like I have a ton of close friends but in reality I have only two or three friends I spend a lot of time with.

On any given day I may have the same amount of online conversation with my best friend and a mere acquaintance—onlookers understandably perceive the relationships the same.

Before Social Networking, a birthday wish, a comment about a photo, or giving a compliment usually required depth of intimacy and knowledge and/or physical proximity. Today, public bios, compliments, birthday wishes, and “liking” a status update are universal and add to the confusion of perceived intimacy.

Years ago, we might have snail-mailed a close friend an event invitation. Today, SN platforms allow us to quickly invite everyone we know to every event we host or are interested in—all at the same volume without favor.

Artificial perceived intimacy is not necessarily our fault. But, it is our predicament. We can abandon the medium all together, or we can face it head-on. Honestly. Carefully. Lovingly.

I thanked the wedding couple for their honesty. Many would have harbored bitterness. I let them know I turn down multiple invitations out of necessity. I carefully shared the dilemma a pastor has of knowing he can’t be everyone’s buddy though he hopes he’s friendly to everyone. Finally, I shared they would have future events I won’t attend but it isn’t personal.

Honestly, I’m often exhausted by these interactions. But I am encouraged by follow-up conversations like the confession from this couple affirming their sensitivity, unfair expectations, and connecting mistaken dots. Are we besties now? No. Probably won’t be. But, we’ve also removed speculation, confusion, and seeds bitterness. And, we in fact understand each other a bit better now.

While Social Networking may not be the depth of community we ultimately aspire to, it is nonetheless a “kind” of community. Let’s not forget that community in traditional spaces also has shortcomings and requires great care and intention. With all its flaws, frustrations, and facades, Social Networking remains an opportunity to invest in people.

Look behind the voices that are shallow, obnoxious, and abrasive and you just might find a soul looking for anyone to listen—rejected by a world that embraces only the lovely, damaged by toxic relationships, and craving spiritual conversation. Look beyond the awkward conversations and you might find a soul who has just been given a voice for the first time. Press beyond the uncomfortable interactions and you may find questions behind questions that get to the root of real issues and opportunities to foster real relationship.

For more on Social Networking and ministry, please check out my book, "Follow You Follow Me" at http://www.abingdonpress.com/voelz

Appreciahate

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 18:05:00 +0000

I thought we came up with a new word yesterday and I was so excited.

I was in conversation with a coworker at Westwinds and I got tongue tied with the word appreciate. The context however was one where we only kinda appreciated something and detested it at the same time. So, my tongue failed me but my coworker immediately retorted, “Appreciahate.”

I Googled the word thinking his brilliance matched with my slur was monumental and historic. To my dismay, Urban Dictionary had already defined it. This is what it said:

Appreciahate

1. The ability women have to both appreciate the beauty of another woman and hate her for the same reason.

Charlotte looked amazing and all the other women appreciahated this.

This definition didn’t speak to our little nuances or context so I’ll expand and offer another definition.

I could sit down every day and make a list of the things I’d like to change about any number of things in ministry. I wish we were reaching more people. I wish people were more proactive. I wish we could expand our staff. I wish our church had no back door. I wish the financial giving was on the upswing. This list could go on all day.

Many things on my proverbial (and actual) list are things I can influence. Many are not. Or, at least, I haven’t found a way to influence them . . . yet. Many of them keep me up at night sometimes and I find myself praying about them a lot. Many of them are issues we deal with regularly as a church staff and we’ve tried many innovative things to turn them around. We also have a team of elders who are very involved in troubleshooting.

Every once in a while (all the time) someone will invite themselves in to the conversation and offer advice about how we can solve a problem as if none of the above is or has ever happened and as if we are totally unaware of the problem at hand. I am not adverse to advice but there are certain kinds of advice that will make me go a little whack. It is this kind of advice I appreciahate.

Appreciahate

2. The feeling one gets when they receive unsolicited advice from someone they either don’t know, know well enough, and/or don’t trust who is disconnected in one way or another from the problem at hand.

Steve knew Sheila was trying to help but he appreciahated how she suggested the church hold a bake sale to meet budget and acted like they were dumb for not trying it yet.

There are generally two groups of ministry advice most people in full-time ministry appreciahate.

Group #1

Not involved in ministry
Do not volunteer anywhere
Are barely interested in the church most of the time
Have no idea how ministry works
Maybe even go to another church

Group #2 (includes at least one or any combination of the following)

Go to the church just enough to think they know how to do things better
Are in a business they liken to ministry in some way
Think their business/corporation/real job expertise gives them better insight to your small world problems
Give money to the church and think that should buy them power
Refer to you as “buddy” or “boss” or “champ”
Have no idea their idea was something people did in the dark ages and it didn’t work then either
Have a ton of advice from the church they used to go to and usually start their sentences with something like, “Back at Third Baptist they used to . . . “

If I’m honest, I’ve opened my mouth and offered ministry advice to someone when I shouldn’t have before. We all make mistakes. And, if we are problem solvers by nature it’s even harder to shut up.

So, here are a few words of advice to anyone who is considering offering ministry advice to anyone for any reason to save you from being appreciahated.

Never use the money you give the church as leverage to offer your advice. You can never, ever start a sentence with anything remotely close to, “I’ve been giving to this church for a long time and . . . “
Never begin your advice giving by handing someone a book, CD, DVD, etc. and suggest they watch/listen to it for insight. This subtle move communicates, “I know something you don’t know and you too will be enlightened when you see/hear this although you should already know it, punk.” It can also communicate, “I don’t know how to put my thoughts in to words but I still know better than you.” Loaning these items for feedback may be appropriate as long as you are really interested in feedback as opposed to building your case or spreading your propaganda.
If you are a chronic advice giver, admit it to yourself. Listen to yourself talk when you are in conversation. Are you doing most of the talking? Chances are, they want you to do more listening and leave more pauses. They may even ask you for advice. Wouldn’t that be something?
Double-check your credentials. Are you really that smart? Have you really gone through the same fire? Do you really have basis for your suggestions? Make sure.
Ask permission before spewing. Try a simple, “Are you asking me for advice? I might have something that could help.” Let them say yes or no.
Do not send unsolicited advice in a letter or email. This makes you look frightened and/or cocky and/or even more disconnected than you probably are.
Own your idea. If the planets align, you’ve been given permission to speak, you are in good relationship with the person, and you believe you can actually help, own it. Don’t give someone else the idea and run. Never start with, “You know what you guys should do?” In most cases, nobody wants to do your idea. They have probably tried it before or have a good reason not to do it. If you own it, they may have opportunity to tell you why it doesn’t line up and thank you for your suggestion. Don’t drop it and run. Don’t become the flaming bag of doody on their doorstep they have to deal with. If you own it, they may hear you, and it may be just the thing they were hoping for.
Ask yourself, “Do I have everyone’s best interest at heart or am I more concerned with being heard?” If we’re honest, for most of us, the selfless times are few and far between.
Ask yourself, “Is it possible I don’t have all the information or history to offer the advice I have to offer?” Then ask, “Is it my job to find this stuff out or leave it alone?” If you decide it is your job to pursue more info and history ask yourself, “Am I the only one who believes this is my role or do others expect me to give insight?”
Sit on it. Often times, an email will come across my desktop that offers the kind of advice I appreciahate. As a rule, I let it sit at least a day before responding. This works on the other side too. If you have a burning piece of advice to give, take a breather. Pour yourself some herb tea and relax. Pray. If it’s still there the next day, go back through number 1-9 on this list.

NO VACANCY

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 03:43:00 +0000

Said The Secret to The Skeleton, "How long have you been here?"
He said, "It's been a while now. I share a closet here with Fear . . .
I used to look a lot like you--so brave and fit to fight . . .
Now I long to leave this crowded place and step into the light."

Said The Secret to The Skeleton, "This space suits me just fine."
Said The Heart to The Secret, "There are more like you in line."
Said The Secret, "Ah, there's always room for such a pretty face."
Said The Heart, "The longer that you stay you'll take a lot more space."

Said The Skeleton, "You think you're slick and found a place to hide?"
Said The Heart, "Look! Skeleton has scratched me up to get to the outside."
Said The Dagger to The Heart, "You brought this all upon yourself . . .
You opened up your empty rooms, thought you could nurse these foes to health . . .

The longer that you shantied them, the sicker they became."
When a voice said, "I concur!" They all shouted, "What's your name?"
He said, "I come from the clan of Secret but I ran away from home . . .
I hitched a ride with Honesty and now I'm safe to roam . . .

He took me down a painful path, I barely did survive . . .
I lost some friends along the way but I'm glad that I'm alive . . .
Old Heart, she has more lovely spaces--just ask her for the key . . .
Doesn't matter what my name once was, my friends all call me, Free."

The conversation went through the night and some guests did not rest.
Secret said, "I never sleep. But I guess it's for the best."
Romance came knocking on Heart's door. "Is there a room for me to stay?"
But the sign would read, NO VACANCY 'till Secret went away.

By John Voelz

But We Have No Artists!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 23:20:00 +0000

Imagination is Godly

Creativity is paramount in everything. It's one of the ways we shadow God. Therefore, we will often try new things "just because" and, unlike many others, we change for the sake of change - just to keep things fresh and fluid. We seldom do the same thing twice, and we take art seriously - it's much more than either advertising or propaganda, it's creativity made flesh in honor of the Creator.

I've shared many of our church's plumblines with you before. The above statement is one of them.

When we talk out loud about this plumbline in church circles someone inevitably asks “What if you don’t have creative people at your church?” Or, “What if our church doesn’t have the kind of budget your church has for creative things.”

First, we believe everyone has the capacity to be creative to some degree. Some would disagree click here if you're interested in a different opinion.

As image bearers of God, we believe we carry part of the Creator inside of us. Man’s first act after he was created by God was to name the animals—a creative act. Art, song, business deals, playtime, conversation, dreams, imagination, and work ethic to name a few can all be creative acts that mirror God. Simply being faithful to share your personal story of redemption is a creative act as you bear the Imago Dei.

The real question behind the question of creativity is “What if my church doesn’t have artists?”

This is an entirely different question. I have always been part of a church body that is ripe with artists. In all honesty it’s not because I’m lucky. It takes hard work to foster an environment of art.

We do value art and are blessed with quite a few artists presently. Please don’t hear me saying if your church is not artistic you are something less than you are.

But many of the churches I know of with an artist deficit are not really doing a lot to welcome artists. They believe God will drop artists into their laps. While he may do that for some, let me suggest the following things for you to consider:

Pray for artists.

Seek out artists.

Spend time in the art centers of your city.

Invite artists to participate in what you do.

Hold art contests to design your logos/posters/space.

Become part of art clubs and organizations in your city.

Place ads in your paper and online searching for artists.

Host concerts at your church.

Buy local art.

Have your meetings in coffee shops. Artists live there.

Send kids in your church to art school.

Look for interns in the colleges of your area.

Contact the high school art department.

Don’t think of art simply in terms of advertisement or propaganda.

Hire an artist on staff. Even part-time. Or spare-time.

Ask local churches to borrow their art.

Open your church as a gallery.

Raise money for a local art school.

Wear a t-shirt around town that says, “Are you an artist?”

Outsource.

Read books that broaden your understanding of art and artists.

Quit calling it “decoration.” The artists might start believing you care.

Develop an art budget. Put your money where your mouth is.

As to the question of financial resources, you’d be surprised how little you can spend to make something beautiful. A can of paint doesn’t cost a whole lot. Yet, many of the churches I hear complain about lack of artists in their church or not having enough money to be creative are screaming out from the insides of white coffins. Get a dang roller dirty with paint.

We all dream of having unlimited resources but honestly I’ve had Industrial Light and Magic dreams on a Radio Shack budget for as long as I can remember.

Ask people to fund art projects.

Ask folks for free crap around their homes.

Go to yard sales.

Watch HGTV and DIY and . . .

Recycle materials.

Subscribe to magazines with cheap ideas.

Walk around Lowe’s and ask “what can we make with this?”

Borrow.

Don’t make excuses.

We Are The Ink Monkey CD

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 14 May 2012 12:35:00 +0000

We have 10 days to go with our Kickstarter attempt to raise money for our CD project. If you are a fan of the band, or my solo work, or you would just like to help out, there are some fantastic benefits for pledging to this project. Just go to our project site HERE to help out. Thanks!

Mother's Day Prayer

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 13 May 2012 12:48:00 +0000

MOTHER'S DAY PRAYER--by John Voelz

For the one full of laughter, and memories, and peace

For the mom who is thankful, content, and at ease

For the one with the soccer club sticker on her van

For the one who at every recital’s a fan

For the moms who have mothered for many years,

For the moms who have fought for their kids through their tears

For the moms who ache over their babies’ choices

For the moms who long for their children’s voices

For the moms who celebrate trophies of grace

For the moms who can barely keep up the pace

For the children whose mother has taken her life

For the mother who struggles to love through the strife

For the child with a heart that’s full of hate

For the mom who just whispered the words, “I’m late!”

For the daughter who still carries the wounds of harsh words

For the mother who stands for the awkward and nerds

For the young woman who has tried, and tried, and tried

For the mommy who can’t leave her sick baby’s side

For the saint who adopted the unwanted child

For the one with a yearning to be reconciled

For the mother whose children refuse to speak

For the mom who successfully turns the other cheek

For the woman who loves the child they tease

For the mother who prays till there are scabs on her knees

For the mother-to-be overwhelmed with joy

For the one who planned for a girl and got a boy

For the kids who miss mom and cannot stand the pain

For the tired and exhausted who still don’t complain

For the grandma who isn’t allowed to see the kids

For the daughter and mother who are on the skids

For the woman whose son fights on foreign soil

For the one whose facial lines tell stories of toil

For the mother who had to bury her own

For the one with three jobs, working fingers to bone

For the mommy who works hard to meet special needs

For the one who does laundry, pays bills, cooks and feeds

For the one who crawls out of bed worn and scarred

For the one who will never again get a card

For the one who is doing this thing all alone

For the child who doesn’t have strength to phone

For the mom who prepared the dinner that’s now cold

For the one who wishes they’d just do what they’re told

For the pregnant young woman still a child herself

Whose friends have abandoned and put her on the shelf

For the woman whose wages barely pay for the sitter

For the mother with drive who exclaims, “I’m no quitter!”

For the ones we’ve forgotten to honor and praise

May you find beauty this day—covered in grace.

We Are The Ink Monkey CD Project

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 13:18:00 +0000

The band is going in the studio and we would love for you to read about it and consider helping out. Check out the project here

Ink Monkey: The IPA

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 23:15:00 +0000

My New Book

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 04:00:00 +0000

I am very excited to announce here at Vertizontal that my new book "Follow You Follow Me" is officially released today, April 1. It is available in both paperback and digital formats. Please visit my page at Abingdon Press to see all the places you can purchase it.

If you have been a fan of this blog, you will enjoy the book. Please pick up a copy and come back here to talk about it. And, please join me on my Facebook page and the book's official Facebook page.

...the first practical handbook for using social media ethically, responsibly, and creatively in the church. --Leonard Sweet, E. Stanley Jones Professor of Evangelism at Drew University, Distinguished Visiting Professor at George Fox University, Teaching Pastor at Salem Fields Community Church, and Chief Contributor to sermons.com

John gives clear, practical, thoughtful guidelines as well as some real encouragement for followers of Christ trying to use social media to help communicate the gospel. --Chris Vacher, Director of Worship, Orangeville Baptist Church, @chrisfromcanada

John Voelz is the most innovative guy in Christian ministry today. Bar none. -- David McDonald, Westwinds Community Church, shadowinggod.com

...wise counsel on how use to social media to further the gospel. Highly recommended for those who want to be brought up to speed on the rapid changes that mark the new digital age. -- Frank Viola, author of "From Eternity to Here," "Reimagining Church," and "Revise Us Again," www.frankviola.org

John's story caused me to examine how I can be reaching my neighbors—next door and around the world—with a message of grace and redemption. What an opportunity we have if we take his words seriously. —Jeff Goins, Author & Blogger, Goinswriter.com

Written with verve, humility, and confidence, John writes as a true believer about social networking. But this is a confidence seasoned with discernment. John is first of all a true believer in Jesus. Social networking helps him follow our Lord, and this book can help you follow too. -- Jeffrey Arthurs, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary

John paints a vision for turning the me-focused social networks into a tool for pointing people to Jesus, strengthening real-world relationships, and discovering new ways your church can serve your community. This book is for beginners and experts alike... -- Joe Day, Worship Pastor at Mars Hill Church | Shoreline, WA - Former UX Designer at The City www.onthecity.org

...John brings to life the value of understanding Social Media in the Conceptual Age and how we connect with each other. Turn On Your Cell Phones, Turn On You IPads, Open Your Laptops. -- John C O'Keefe, Author of Boneyard: Creatives Will Change The Way We Lead In The Church and Misfits: Who Are You Including?

I highly recommend this book. -- Pete Wilson, Author - Plan B, Pastor - Cross Point Church

...invites readers to a refreshingly straight-shooting discussion in this one-of-a-kind primer. -- Rich Kirkpatrick, Blogger at RKWeblog.com, Worship Leader

In direct and often humorous ways, the authors draws on his rich and varied experiences to offer timely advice and practical direction for church leaders and others who are serious about using social media to build community and spread the gospel. -- Robert H. Woods, Jr. Spring Arbor University

If you want to reach a world that uses technology, this is a great book to prep for your journey. --Sarah Cunningham, author of Picking Dandelions and blogger at sarahcunningham.org

Jesus' First Ride

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 15:31:00 +0000

Go to FirstCarStory.com and you can tell the story of your first ride. My friend David and I decided to tell the story of Jesus' first ride into Jerusalem in honor of Palm Sunday. Check it out!

How Beer Saved the World

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 13:05:00 +0000

I thought this was interesting not only because of the information but for the way in which the story is told.

Created by: Online Bachelor Degree Programs

Hurtin's Gonna Come

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 02:21:00 +0000

Frightened Sally sent a text to his phone, said “I don’t know what I want anymore”

He was working hard to buy her a home as she head for the proverbial door

She had seen a wake of broken lives ‘cuz her daddy lived hard and fast

Couldn’t take the risk of being of being alone so she head it off at the pass

The hurtin’s gonna come her way

The hurtin’s gonna come any way

It had been about an 8 years time since the bottle took him for a spin

6 of those were spent repairing the ruins of what he’d done and what he’d been

Went to work to find a note on his desk said, “supply is up but demand’s thin”

Packed his locker from a 30-year job, drank the whiskey down and moved to gin

The hurtin’s gonna come his way

The hurtin’s gonna come any way

They would say those things you can’t take back, the kind of things that take off years

They said their goodbyes 20 years ago when she said she couldn’t take the tears

Set a spiteful course to knotch his belt with some one’s daughter barely 21

Now he wonders what to draw upon giving girl advice to their son

The hurtin’s gonna come her way

The hurtin’s gonna come any way

His Father's Song

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 01:05:00 +0000

In the late ‘40s, a young boy was born into a prominent family in New York. His father was a world renowned musician and songwriter who had also garnered a reputation as a humanitarian, a poet, a painter, and a wealthy and wise businessman who readily shared his wealth with those less fortunate. People knew his father’s songs by heart and his father’s art and reputation was praised all over the world.

The boy, from the time he could sit at the piano was trying to emulate his father. He would plunk out tunes on the keys by ear as best he could. He didn’t know the names of the notes or how the whole thing worked but it didn’t stop him. Day after day he would sit at the piano and play. He wanted so badly to be like his father. He dreamed of playing just like him one day.

As he grew older, he was faced with a harsh reality. Songwriting is hard work. He tried to create music but it didn’t come easy for him. He began to doubt his own ability. He began to feel unworthy because, after all, he was born into greatness and should be made of more than this.

His father was very patient with him. He never said his son should become a musician and he never guilted him into becoming one. He was very careful to build his son up and never tear him down—always believing in the son and trying to find out what made him tick.

However, the boy felt inferior. His older brother had gone on to become a famous painter—his paintings were hung in galleries worldwide. His sister became a politician and a well respected advocate for the poor and destitute. Even his younger brother—though he had some years of rebellion and consequences under his belt—went on to become a famous rock musician with a penchant for social justice.

People would often ask the boy (now a young man) how his songwriting was coming along. Some overheard him playing and began to label him a failure saying he would never be anything close to his father as an artist. He once heard someone whisper that he should just give up.

And he did.

For quite some time.

For years he wandered through life aimlessly in the shadow of his siblings. He doubted his own individuality and craftiness. Furthermore, he was a failure. He tried his hand at a few things over the years that might fill the gaping hole inside his soul but to no avail.

More than anything, he wanted to be a musician but he constantly felt beaten by his own lack of self-worth, his poor image of himself, his inability to live up to the standard others placed upon him, doubt, fear of failure, and pride. These things paralyzed him.

Still, it didn’t take much to remind him of what he believed he was made for deep down inside—a walk past the bandstand in the park, a top 40 hit in the department store, the player piano in the lobby of the hotel . . . they all greeted him like an old friend. He was often reminded of his dream.

One day, a defining moment and an act of will met eye to eye. While visiting his father in an “old folks home” he witnessed an amazing thing. While the silver-haired ladies sat playing scrabble, there his father sat—an old man well in his 80’s—at the piano in the cafeteria of the senior center. His father was grinning from ear to ear.

The song was familiar to the son. He had heard it many times growing up. Sometimes with a different tempo, sometimes with different instrumentation, but always the same unmistakable intoxicating melody that made it a humable hit.

The man mustered up the courage to sit next to his father on the piano seat and his father scooted over a bit to make room for them to share the keyboard. Much to the son’s surprise, his father was playing off a score sheet of his own music making the invitation to join him that much easier since the boy would simply have to follow the written music.

There they sat, playing the song together as others listened on. The song never sounded as beautiful as it did at this moment. When it was over, the old-folks cheered. “Encore” shouted one man from the back of the room. “Play it again, Sam!” shouted another quoting a line from an old movie they all knew well. The line was met with laughter.

“Go ahead” said the father. You take a turn. “I can’t” said the boy-man. “What is holding you back?” The answer was a whole list of things that the boy-man didn’t speak out loud but he simply answered, “I don’t have a song.” “Play this one” said the father. He put up the sheet music for another familiar song that he had once written. “It’s your song dad—it’s not my own.” “Make it your own” said his father. “Play it for them.”

The boy-man proceeded to play a beautiful melody. He followed the chords as he poured his own passion into how he moved his hands over the keys. His familiarity with the song allowed him to occasionally improvise while not changing the melody or the integrity of the original.

That day would be the moment that changed the trajectory of the boy-man’s life forever. For the next few years, until he passed away, he dedicated himself to coming once a week to the senior center to play his father’s songs for the people.

He hadn’t given up his freedoms as an artist. He experienced a new kind of freedom—a freedom from self-centeredness. A freedom from the fear that held him captive. His father’s collection of music was extensive. Week after week he would come to the home and pick a new song from his father’s book to play. The day always held a sense of expectation and freshness as he discovered fulfillment in interpreting what was written for him to share with others.

Inspired by the songs of his father, he would often dabble in writing his own music and share it with the people. Often times, they would comment that a song sounded “familiar” or it “brought them back to a special place in time.”

Coffee Love Song

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:14:00 +0000

Some of you asked me for lyrics to the coffee love song I debuted the other night at the brewery. Here you go.

In the morning, I taste you on my lips

I draw you close, you tell me it’s all right

And when I’m on the road, you’re with me like I’ve never left home

And you keep me satisfied through the night

You’ve never asked a single thing from me

Even though I don’t have to, I’d pay for your company

You’ve seen the worst of me at times but you stay right by my side

It sounds funny but you’re just my cup of tea

You go by many names but your scent

no matter what they say is sweet

You’re driving me insane

and you give shakes from my head to my feet.

I cannot get enough, of you, and I know it sounds cliché

But you quite literally fill my cup and warm me up

You’re my dark beauty, and you’ve always bean

And when the Irish in you comes out, I just smile

And something’s brewing in me, so I think I’ll take a shot

And tell you in a song I like your style

How can I espress---oooohhhh how you make me a different man?

You’re stirring something in me, a latte people just don’t understand

An inner strength, you gently stand your ground

You gather friends and spread the laughter ‘round

And when morning is a grind, you sooth my troubled mind

You whisper French-pressed, softly calm me down

You go by many names but your scent

no matter what they say is sweet

You’re driving me insane

and you give shakes from my head to my feet.

I cannot get enough, of you, and I know it sounds cliché

But you quite literally fill my cup and warm me up

A Poem. A Prayer.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:58:00 +0000

The day is done, the room is empty, the voices stilled

But not really

The silence is thick like black is thick in the absence of light or clichés are thick in some poetry

But not completely

I am left with my thoughts. I don’t necessarily like what I hear, frightened, ashamed, and alone

But somehow not entirely

I’m not even surprised anymore by what my TV tells me. It screams, “this is the end.” I agree.

But I don’t. Not really.

I miss my family. Consistency. Stability. Everything I once knew has gone to hell.

Maybe partly. But not all together. But, yes.

They say I can’t make up my mind. I’m flighty. I don’t have what it takes to make a stand.

I strongly disagree, Then, I agree. Then disagree. Then agree. Then kinda strongly disagree.

The world is full of hypocrites, I say! I can’t trust anyone. Everyone’s out for themselves.

Did you hear that? Did someone just echo me?

Relationships are fragile. So much so they aren’t even worth it. Stupid. Never again.

Unless someone would promise to love me. I’d probably give it a shot.

A sound breaks my silence. It’s the sound of many towels being thrown in. “Give up too,” I say.

Then I slap myself back to my senses. But my hand hasn’t moved. Someone else slapped me.

“Who just slapped me?” I scream. “Was that You God?” Of course it was. That’s what you do.

Go ahead and smite me.

But all I hear are tears. Someone else is in the room with me. They’re probably here to hurt me.

They must have sneaked in.

I realize I’m being a baby. I’m bigger than this. I pull myself together. Head out to make my way

Now, which way was that? It was here a minute ago.

I sit back down. Think I’ll lie down.

It’s easier when I sleep.

Or so I think. Until the dreams come.

Maybe this whole thing has been a dream. Maybe I’ll wake and be all right.

Maybe I’ll wake strong, invincible, beautiful, carefree, new, shameless . . .

I hear myself saying those words and realize just how crazy deep this sleep is.

Voices laugh at me as I sleep. Mock me. Insult me. Do they think I don’t hear them?

Who will defend me? Anyone? Do I have any of those proverbial “chips” to call?

I need a jury of my peers who won’t sell me out and a judge who protects.

But what I really want is mercy to triumph over judgment. Not that anyone else deserves mercy.

But neither do I. Did I just say that out loud?

I need a friend. A lover. A helper.

But the kind I need would have to take me as I am. I don’t think they exist.

But maybe.

I need a counselor. A guide. A guru. A doctor.

But the kind I need probably costs a lot. No one would pay those prices. Pay that price.

But maybe.

(C)2012 John Voelz

No Cross at Church?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 19:56:00 +0000

Today I received a Facebook message asking me why we don't have a cross at Westwinds. This question isn't a new one for me but I have heard it three times in the last month so I thought it appropriate to talk about on the ol' blog.

True. There is no permanent display of the traditional and easily recognizable American Christian cross at Westwinds. It's really not as much about an exclusion of this cross for us as much as it's about including other symbols and stories from a grand tradition and history. However, there are some things we have thought through in regard to this version of the cross that have kept us from making it a permanent symbol or fixture at Westwinds. You'll see us using the traditional American cross (which came from the Latin/Catholic tradition) from time to time. But not exclusively.

In our last large scale aesthetic at Westwinds (we change the look and feel of the gathering space frequently), the room was surrounded with symbols that tell the story of God and His people. The phoenix, the palm, the rose, the three nails, the quatrefoil, the Chi-Ro, the three nails, the torch, etc. are symbols we used recently and have used at various other times. Some other Christian symbols we’ve used can be found at websites like this one. We even included the scarab in a recent aesthetic. The scarab is a symbol that Egyptian Christians took from their ancestors who believed in reincarnation and turned it in to a symbol of Jesus’ resurrection. We're fond of symbols and metaphors that help us connect people to the greater story of Christian spirituality and our rich Christian history. We like the fun ones, odd ones, traditional ones, mysterious ones—they all are rich in story and history.

We appreciate how a symbol or piece of art can embody a story. So, instead of having one permanent symbol of a cross we've chosen to also celebrate other symbols that connect us to the greater story of God and his people. We certainly aren't afraid of a cross symbol but also realize the benefit in other symbols that point us to Jesus.

Sadly, in some ways, the Latin/Catholic/American cross has become void of its power as a symbol because it's so commonplace. When in fact, the cross was an instrument of brutal death and torture as much as it is a symbol of hope—all this gets lost in translation sometimes. It hangs around the necks of hip-hop stars and sweaty teenagers in dance clubs as if it in and of itself holds some power or, perhaps more accurately they think it looks good on a chiseled body and it matches their earrings. In the movies, the Latin cross is held up to scare evil vampires (not the pouty, emo, bedazzled ones) as if it is magic. But, Jesus is the way, truth, and life. Jesus only. The cross is what they hung him on.

With some, there is a debate about the cross because some traditions use it with Jesus on it (Catholic crucifix) and some without. I remember Baptist friends getting mad at Catholics “Jesus rose! He isn’t on the cross anymore!” As if to say . . . “Dummies!” And, I think to myself, “Really? We are really going to waste time on this battlefield?”

And so, we create another question in the cross debate . . . Which one? With Jesus or without? Latin? Byzantine? Slavonic? Greek? Maltese? Celtic? Roman? Crux? Baptismal? Should we use a more accurate depiction of the cross Jesus actually died on (that wasn’t so perfect and may have resembled more of a T shape)? Each has its own history. Some of them have yucky things associated with them. The Jerusalem Cross was displayed on soldiers and banners in the Crusades. For anyone with an Islamic faith or background, they see this as a battle symbol. The Swastika Cross was used in Christian architecture before the Nazi’s heisted it for their own purposes. The mere sight of it makes us angry today. And, even the Latin cross most recognized by American’s has its hang-ups for some. Good, bad, right, or wrong, some associate that cross with angry churches, molesting leaders, and politicians who wield a sword of power over the weak while summoning the name of Jesus.

I've often wondered what it would be like if I wore an electric-chair or guillotine necklace to spark conversation. It might be more effective for spiritual conversation. "Why are you wearing that chair? That's sick and weird, man!" And, I could say. "I know. it reminds me of Jesus. He was unjustly murdered on my behalf." It should be more than a fashion statement to us.

We get the positive side of the argument too. The cross can be a symbol of peace and comfort to Christians. It can identify a building as a place of Christians. It's sometimes strange for some Christians to come into a blank building and wonder, "Uh-oh, do they worship Jesus here?" "Is this a cult?" But, we know if they stay more than 5 minutes that question will be answered through song, prayer, our welcome, our media, our people, etc. We’re more concerned about the person who comes in without a Jesus background and the person who comes in beat-up and disenfranchised with church and religion. We hope the healthy, churched Christians can adjust soon enough without a cross—even if they enjoy it and miss it.

Finally, the Bible is silent on this issue. There is no mention of the cross in church aesthetic and/or architecture in the Bible. The new testament gives rules for worship in regard to conduct, frequency, leadership, physical demonstrations of worship, song, and the state of the heart but it doesn’t mention symbol or aesthetic. The closest examples we have from the Bible about aesthetic, symbol, and architecture pre-date the cross of Jesus. The Old Testament tabernacle (both the one that traveled through the desert and the more permanent temple) was rich in art, precious metals, choice wood, expensive fabric and candles but even so, that was a prescription for the Jewish place of worship predating Jesus. So, today we celebrate the fact that God gives us great freedom in creating space, using symbol and metaphor, crafting service orders, and choosing songs and scripture. We draw from our heritage and try new things all at the same time.

Bottom line, we want people to come to Westwinds and see the presence of Jesus in this place. We want to remove their hang-ups and invite them in to the story of Jesus. We want to answer their questions and ask them new ones. We want them to know Jesus exists inside the church and outside of it. He is active in the world, the media, the entertainment industry, the library, the Internet, and their neighbors. We want them to see him in unexpected places and recognize him in new ones. We want them to know Jesus and we don't want to limit him.

Prayer as an Interactive

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 22:58:00 +0000

It’s been over 30 years since I realized I was on a journey with God. And, I still don’t have prayer figured out. Sometimes I think I have more questions about prayer now than I did when I started. I don’t have it all wrapped up nice and tidy. My theology of prayer is incomplete. You’d think I’d be a “prayer warrior” by now—one of those people you’ve heard about who does all those strange sounding words like “intercede” or “stand in proxy.” Not this guy. At least, not all the time and not as a habit. And certainly not by definition. But here’s what I do know: God tells me to do it. He tells me to be honest. He tells me he isn’t afraid of what I’m going to say. He says He hears. I’ve seen Him answer. He tells me to take time to do it. He tells me there is no formula or correct way—more importantly, there’s not a wrong way. Jesus did it. The bible is full of people who did it, encouraged it, were horrible at it, got angry during it, and shrugged it (things didn’t go well for the latter). And, He wants His people to pray together as well as alone. I’ve learned something about prayer in the last couple of years. I have to interrupt myself with it. I have to let God interrupt me through it. That takes breaks from routine as well as routine. It takes ritual and it takes being aware of the Spirit and inviting Him into my daily existence. Sometimes interruption comes when I step outside my comfort zone. Try on new spiritual disciplines. I imagine many feel like me. So, this weekend we filled the room with magical prayer jars (okay, they were just Mason jars). The jars were filled with clear water but everyone was invited to pray prayers of hope and drop food coloring into the jars. All different colors. The jars were lit on tables and the colors became brilliant. Diverse. Intertwined. It was a visual reminder that our prayers all count. It was a visual reminder that we are not alone. We “saw” the prayers of others. Our prayers went out and mingled with others. God heard every one. God saw every one. The Spirit interrupted us all.

STAR WARS Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:16:00 +0000

Star Wars Christmas

They say it’s better to give than to receive
But if I’m honest, that’s not something I always believe
I know that my home is chock full of . . .
Books I haven’t read and stuff that . . .
ends up in garage sales down the line.
I know I’ve got too many clothes . . .
More shoes than my wife, I know I should be so content and feeling fine.
And I am content for the most part.
But this Christmas there’s a few things that would really touch my heart.

I want the Star Wars figures that I had as a child
I want the Landspeeder that takes Luke for a ride
I want the telescoping lightsaber Vader. It sucks . . .
Cause my mom threw it out now it’s worth 6 thousand bucks.
A Millennium Falcon I can hang from the ceiling
And C3-PO, now my mind is reeling
With my R2-D2, the world was right.
I want my X-Wing fighter with the flashing laser light.

This Christmas we agreed to not spend money
‘Cause we’ve got each other, baby, sweetie, honey
This season we are low on cash . . .
I’ve entertained the “dine and dash” . . .
I need new breaks and the warranty will soon expire.
I don’t need new things, I’ve got plenty . . .
But those little Jawas—I had twenty
And with eBay you and I could both retire.

I want my Star Wars figures I had as a boy
I want my light saber, Sandtrooper, Power Droid
I want the Death Star Playset that we lit on fire
So many discarded, so many buyers
I want the D4 that we thought was lame
Even that guy we didn’t know his name
The badly cast Luke and the Leia that faded
I won’t make them kiss now that I know they’re related

And Santa, not too many more requests
But that elusive Rocket Firing Boba Fett
And that original Jawa with the vinyl cape
And the blue Snaggletooth I fixed with Dad’s duct tape

I want the Star Wars figures that I had back then
In the original packages they all came in
I want my Ben Kenobi the Jedi Master
Imperial Stormtrooper with the blaster
Want a time machine back to ‘78
So I could tell myself on my tenth birthday
Don’t unwrap the Hammerhead, hide it, save
Cause one day you’ll need to sell it to make the house payment