Very Smart Girls (tm)

Quotes about Meditation

Jo-Ann Downey — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 17:27:20 +0000

“Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit.” Jeremy Taylor (1613-1667)

“No great work has ever been produced except after a long interval of still and musing meditation.” Walter Bagehot (1826-1877)

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” Buddha (563-483 BC)

“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944)

“The human mind cannot create anything. It produces nothing until after having been fertilized by experience and meditation; its acquisitions are gems of its production.” George-Louis Leclerc de Buffon (1707-1788)

“One’s action ought to come out of achieved stillness; not to be mere rushing on.” D.H. Lawrence (1885-1930)

And definitely worth the read:

“We could say that meditation doesn’t have a reason or doesn’t have a purpose. In this respect it’s unlike all other things we do except perhaps making music and dancing. When we make music we don’t do it in order to reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition. If that were the purpose of music then obviously the fastest players would be the best. Also, when we are dancing we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor as in a journey. When we dance, the journey itself is the point, as when we play music the playing itself is the point. And exactly the same thing is true in meditation. Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived in the immediate moment.” Alan Watts (1915-1973)

My experience is that meditation takes you out of your 5 senses into your 6th sense of intuition and 7th sense of direct knowing. For me, the more I meditate the more energy I have~calm energy.

For reference, “Forgiveness Series: Why I Am Stuck & What Does Meditation Have To Do With It”, “Breathing is not an Option”

I welcome your comments! The name you type in the comment section (for example, Jo-Ann, Jo-Ann Downey or Jo-Ann from Boston) will appear on the site next to your comment. Your email address will NOT appear. If you provide a website URL (for example, your business or your blog URL), it will be linked to the name you typed in name so others can learn more about you.

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Forgiveness Series: Why I Am Stuck & What Does Meditation Have To Do With It?

Jo-Ann Downey — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 17:13:47 +0000

I seek in my life and want to share powerful and practical ways to fulfill my tagline: Practical Skills, Tools, and Wisdom to Build your Best Life™. My intention is to communicate in a universal, actionable, fun, memorable, thoughtful, and non-controversial way- a way, I hope, that will stand the test of time. It is important for me to have real-life experiences about what I share in Very Smart Girls. I brainstorm, read, experience, ponder, and develop my perspective- not necessarily in that order!

For example, I wrote “There is No Such Thing as a Table for Two” based on a profound experience I had when I approached a hostess to ask for a table for two. Before I spoke, I noticed that my friend was already at a table. As I glanced at my friend, and then back at the hostess, I experienced a keen awareness that my friend and I are so multidimensional that the concept of a table for two was funny- that there was no such thing as a table for two. On this particular day, there was a part of me that was joyful, and a part of me that was concerned about a mutual friend. My friend was happy at work, and upset about some health challenges.

Why I am Stuck

I started the Forgiveness Series (“Categorizing and Judging”) with the concept that the need to forgive begins when you create judgments such as making someone (yourself or others), or something, wrong or bad.

I went on to write three other blogs in the series and then I got stuck. I believe I am stuck because I want to have more experience with unconditional forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness. Also, I discovered that forgiveness is a difficult topic to address in a universal, inclusive, and non-controversial way.

What Does Meditation Have To Do With It?

I accepted that I was stuck, chose to be gentle with myself (why add self-judgments?), and decided to be patient (“Acceptance and Patience”). Then, while working out at the gym (“Take a Hike…Really”), I had an epiphany. I thought, “Hey, I don’t judge when I meditate because I am still regardless of what is going on around me. If I don’t hear anything (take in outside noises into my meditation stillness), I don’t judge what I hear. When my eyes are closed, I don’t judge what I see because my eyes are closed! Wow. When I shut off, or calm, my senses to external stimulation, I shut off my usual judgment portals.”

Then I thought, “Mediate more. Simply meditate more and give you senses a break. And when you use your senses, use your senses wisely!”

My Plan

As shared in “Practice When it’s Easy”, I will proactively do my best to create favorable conditions to practice and succeed. For me, for now, that is through my meditation practice. My intention is to easily, naturally, and gracefully experience peace and calmness in my meditation practice and carry this feeling throughout the day. As shared in “Breathing is Not an Option”, I will focus on diaphragmatic/belly breathing.

For reference, “Forgiveness Series: Categorizing and Judging”, “Forgiveness Series: Observing Where You Are Coming From”, “Forgiveness Series: Why Forgive?”, “Forgiveness Series: Quotes about Forgiveness”.

photo credit: marimoon

Individuality

Jo-Ann Downey — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 01:30:25 +0000

Enjoy!

“If I’m going to sing like someone else, then I don’t need to sing at all.” Billie Holiday (1915-1959)

“A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses.” Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“Individuality is freedom lived.” John Dos Passos (1896-1970)

“Individuality is only possible if it unfolds from wholeness.” David Bohm (1917-1992)

“All greatness of character is dependent of individuality. The man who has no other existence than that which he partakes in common with all around him, will never have any other than an existence of mediocrity.” James F. Cooper (1789-1851)

“I know that most people are closely concerned with themselves that they are not aware of their own individuality, I can see myself, and it has helped me to say what I want to say in paint.” Georgia O’Keefe (1887-1986)

“What is genius but the power of expressing a new individuality?” Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

And….

“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the ‘Universe”, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is kind of a prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

“To divinely and authentically shine in your individuality first accept and embrace the individuality, and collective attributes, of all human beings- all human beings.” Jo-Ann Downey

You may want to refer to “An Effective Way to be Present- Do Not Compare”, “Forgiveness Series: Observing Where You Are Coming From”, and “Seeing from your Heart”.

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Willful versus Willing

Jo-Ann Downey — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 02:15:23 +0000

Are you in the flow or intensely focused on your personal or professional agenda? Are you open to feedback from others and the universe? Are you more willful or willing?

Definitions

According to dictionary.com, willful is “deliberate, voluntary, or intentional; unreasonably stubborn or headstrong; self-willed.” Willing is “inclined; cheerfully consenting or ready.”

To me, willful is will-full; no room for intuition, to openly receive feedback and ideas, and has a closed energy. Willing is a state of readiness, openness, and flexibility. I find it interesting that the definition of willful includes the concept of self-willed to which I say “exactly…and how limiting!” What about the power that can be used outside of your personal will?

Willful versus Willing Examples

Willful thought: “I can handle this on my own”

Willing thought: “I have experience to do this and I am open to guidance and assistance”

Which is more calming?

“Where there’s willingness, there’s space for grace.” Jo-Ann Downey

Intentions and Willingness

As shared in “Intention Series: How to Create Powerful Intentions”, expansive intentions are critical. Since you do not know how good it can be, why limit yourself to what you can receive? During the process of setting an intention set aside any limiting thoughts or beliefs. For example, “I am meeting my financial obligations” (limiting) versus “I am easily and gracefully experiencing financial prosperity.” Go for it- be willing to allow for miracles, course corrective feedback, and positive surprises as you move forward with your personal and professional goals and intentions.

Acceptance and Willingness

Willingness also has an element of acceptance. As shared in “Acceptance and Patience”, your current life situation may not be your preference, and you may want to change things in your life; however, you must start with accepting what is present. Acceptance is not apathy. It is a choice and the choice is yours to make.

A willful approach is about denying, fixing or changing things; a willing approach accepts what is and moves on from there.

“Willingness opens space for grace.” Jo-Ann Downey

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Forgiveness Series: Why Forgive?

Jo-Ann Downey — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 19:30:12 +0000

How do you want to spend your daily energy? Do you have energy leaks that get in your way of having a healthier, joyful, and productive life? Can you see that any level of anger, upset, or resentment is an energy leak? Why preoccupy yourself with yesterday’s grudges at the expense of today’s successes?

Forgiveness Quotes from the Masters

In “Forgiveness Series: Quotes about Forgiveness”, many quotes describe forgiveness as an opportunity of a much higher order than an exercise in forgiving a particular person, belief, incident, or situation. Forgiveness is a healthy choice, demonstrates your intention to contribute in constructive ways, and sets you free to use your daily energy in positive ways.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Louis B. Smedes (1921-2002)

Forgiveness is an Inside Job

Forgiveness is personal choice to let go of judgmental, negative, and unproductive energy so that you can use your energy in more constructive, helpful, and joyful ways. Forgiveness does not mean that you excuse or condone the behavior of others, that you necessarily reconcile with others, or that you like certain circumstances or situations. Forgiveness has nothing to do with whether justice prevails, whether someone apologizes to you, whether you communicate your forgiveness to others (never put yourself in physical, mental, or emotional harm’s way), or whether someone accepts your forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an inside job, although outer circumstances can change through forgiveness.

Forgiveness is Good for Your Health and Well-Being

Releasing negative thoughts, feelings, and energy opens up space for more positive thoughts, feelings, and energy. As shared in “Choose Your Thoughts Well”, thoughts tend to build upon each other. It is not likely that after having a thought like “this is not going well”, that you would have the thought “things are in harmony.” Thoughts, positive or negative, connect to each other like compartments of a train- they pull each other along in the same direction.

Watch your thoughts and get on the positive thought-train going in a positive direction. Once you are on the train, stay on it for as long as you can. You have complete power over your thoughts, so why not get on the best train as often, and for as long, as you can? It’s your choice.

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

Choose to forgive. Forgiveness is good for your health and well-being. Very Smart Girls choose forgiveness and they start with themselves.

For reference, “Forgiveness Series: Categorizing and Judging”, and “Forgiveness Series: Observing Where You Are Coming From.”

photo credit: marimoon

Forgiveness Series: Quotes about Forgiveness

Jo-Ann Downey — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 01:33:49 +0000

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Louis B. Smedes (1921-2002)

“To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.” Confucius

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

“Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love.” Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

“The truest joys they seldom prove, Who free from quarrels live; ‘Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive.” John Sheffield (1647-1721)

“One forgives to the degree that one loves.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

“I am, as I am; whether hideous, or handsome, depends upon who is made judge.” Herman Melville (1819-1891)

You may want to read “Forgiveness Series: Categorizing and Judging” and “Forgiveness Series: Observing Where You Are Coming From” and I look forward to continuing this series!

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“I” Language Series: Responsibility and Building Relationships

Jo-Ann Downey — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 20:01:20 +0000

How do you feel when someone says something like “you drive too fast”, “everyone drives too fast”, or “you are always so sensitive”? Do you feel a sense of separation from that person? Would you like an effective way to respond?

Responsibility

Do you believe that you are powerless in your life or do you believe you are responsible for creating/ co-creating your life? The powerless approach involves victim energy, not taking responsibility for yourself, and negative energy – not pathways to success. Owning and being responsible for your thoughts, feelings, and actions (or non-actions, which are also actions) is empowering.

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“I” Language

“I” language is a great way to take personal responsibility, authentically express yourself, and build better personal and professional relationships. “I” language is ownership language and can make you think twice. Sort of like when you sign a legal contract, you stop and think twice. Your word is your contract and your world.

An example of “I” language is “I appreciate your driving us to the movies and I feel a knot in my stomach due to the speed we are going”. “I” language allows you to express yourself in a way that is honest and clear, minimizes hurting others, can help you achieve your goals, and can keep lines of communication open.

“If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Words are also actions, and actions are a kind of words.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You/They” Language versus “I” Language Examples

Examples of “You/They” language: “you talk too much” or “people/they talk too much”. “You/They” language, especially when emotions are present, is often confrontational and delivered in a way that presents something as fact when it is an opinion. To me, “You/They” language often has separation energy which does not build relationships.

Examples of “I” language: “I notice that I feel distant from you when I can’t verbally share how I feel”, or “I feel hampered in situations when people talk so much that I can’t share my thoughts”. Be careful with using words like always and never because they lock you into a position (that you then have a tendency to want to defend) and can give the appearance of conceit.

If someone uses “You/They” language, choose to respond with “I” language!

Setting intentions and checking in with yourself in terms of where you are coming from, especially in emotional situations, are very important skills. You may want to read “I Hear You is the New I Love You”, “5 Tips on How to Listen Effectively”, “Forgiveness Series: Observing Where You Are Coming From”, and “Intentions Series: How to Create Powerful Intentions”.

Very Smart Girls use “I” language.

I’m interested in your thoughts- comments welcome. The name you type in the comment section (for example, Jo-Ann, Jo-Ann Downey or Jo-Ann from Boston) will appear on the site. Your email address will NOT appear. If you provide a website URL (for example, your business or your blog URL), it will be linked to your name so others can learn more about you.

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Forgiveness Series: Observing Where You Are Coming From

Jo-Ann Downey — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 17:06:04 +0000

Are you aware of the nature of your thoughts and beliefs? Are you seeing through judging eyes or through eyes of understanding and kindness?

Where Are You Coming From?

“Life consists of what a person is thinking all day long.” Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Do you believe that you and others are truly doing their best? As shared in “Seeing from your Heart”, when you see someone primarily with “thinking eyes” you tend to do things like compare, contrast, project past experiences into the future, play old stories in your head, insert your own preferences and judge. You are likely to want to take action and/or control or fix someone or something. To see someone as a whole and perfect human being, as someone who is always doing their best, you must feel kindness, compassion, appreciation and reverence. To do that, you need to get out of your head and into your heart where these feelings reside. You need to see from your heart.

When you see from your heart you will be more present to the possibility that you really don’t know all the variables present. In that consciousness you are more likely to be more accepting and peaceful, trust more, be less judgmental, and reduce the need for forgiveness.

Start With Yourself

Take a look at how much you judge yourself, your life, and your decisions. Does your day start with thoughts like I am lazy because I want to stay in bed, I bought the wrong mattress, I picked out the wrong bathroom tile, my hair is so dry that I need to use this special shampoo, my skin is not as soft as others, etc.? And you are barely out of the shower!

The Power of Self-Observation

Observing your judgments can make you aware of how much you judge, what you judge, and how much of your life’s energy you put into judging. Be careful not to judge yourself for your judgments!

Sometimes consciously, authentically, and neutrally observing something, in this case judgments, can cause a shift in you.

“Self-observation brings man to the realization of the necessity of self-change. And in observing himself a man notices that self-observation itself brings about certain changes in his inner processes. He begins to understand that self-observation is an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening.” George Gurdjieff (~1866-1949)

You may want to read “Forgiveness Series: Categorizing and Judging” and “Quotes about Forgiveness.”

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Forgiveness Series: Categorizing and Judging

Jo-Ann Downey — Sat, 01 Sep 2012 00:29:50 +0000

What happens before you do or say something you regret? How could you make better choices? What is the precursor to forgiveness?

Forgiveness

The need to forgive begins when you create judgments such as making someone (yourself or others), or something, wrong or bad. Judging has the energy of right, wrong, good, or bad. For example, “you are bad because you did not clean the kitchen properly.” Judgments begin with you; forgiveness begins with you.

When you have fewer judgments, you have fewer reasons to forgive, and more time and energy for other things in your life like more fun and joy.

The Good News

The good news is that judgments start with the mental activity of judging, and since you have dominion over your thoughts you can change your habit of judging. The first step is to become aware of your judgments. A good way to know if you are judging is if you are attached to outcomes and/or experience an increased level of emotional energy. Being upset is a good indicator of the presence of judgments.

The Truth

How do you really know if your point of view is accurate? Have you ever experienced something that you initially thought was bad; however, it turned out to be a blessing? Have you ever gotten what you wanted only to later experience that it was not for your highest good?

“I am, as I am; whether hideous, or handsome, depends upon who is made judge.” Herman Melville (1819-1891)

The truth is that you just don’t know everything that is happening, or that will happen, so why spend valuable time and energy judging? You have a unique point of view in a world of about 7 billion people with their points of view.

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

What Can You Do?

As shared in “Practice When it’s Easy”, the reason to practice when it’s easy is because you want to experience success. In this case, success means an increased awareness of who, what, when, where, and how you categorize and judge. I recommend that you start by observing your judgments that are more positive than negative.

Let’s say you are eating an ice cream cone. Your categorizing/judging mind might think “I am eating ice cream and feeling good today”. Can you see that you are broadly categorizing eating ice cream with a good day and feeling good? Would that mean that a day without ice cream is not as good, or bad?

Instead, if you were more present in the moment, didn’t mindlessly categorize or judge, and lived from a more observational and experiential perspective you might think “this ice cream is sweet, cool, and refreshing.” I hope you see the limitations of seemingly positive categorizations and judgments.

Imagine what your relationships, your life, would be like if you didn’t create negative judgments.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa of Calcutta (1910-1997)

You may enjoy these quotes, “Quotes about Forgiveness.”

photo credit: marimoon

Quotes by Great Artists

Jo-Ann Downey — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 17:08:15 +0000

“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.” Auguste Rodin

“Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.” Edgar Degas

“Art washed away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” Pablo Picasso

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” Pablo Picasso

“It takes a long time to become young.” Pablo Picasso

“The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.” Leonardo da Vinci

“Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art.” Leonardo da Vinci

“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.” Michelangelo

“I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.” Claude Monet

What will propel you into seeing the perfect statue within yourself and others?

And from me-

“It takes a long to become you again.” Jo-Ann Downey

As always, comments welcome. The name you type in the comment section (for example, Jo-Ann, Jo-Ann Downey or Jo-Ann from Boston) will appear on the site. Your email address will NOT appear. If you provide a website URL (for example, your business or your blog URL), it will be linked to your name so that others can learn more about you.

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