Our goo started before the holidays when one of the water lines from our dental equipment cracked and ended up flooding our treatment area and surgery suite with several inches of water. But hey, after a $15,000-20,000 dollar repair and professional "restoration," things should be back to normal (if this was to be a holiday gift we would have gone with the rotten eggnog and stale fruitcake thank you very much).

Next came the groomer who has been theoretically renting space from us at our hospital. I say in theory because she owes us several thousand dollars in back rent. A few days ago, she dropped off the face of the earth after removing all her belongings in the dark of night. We've not heard from her since and I doubt we will.

But hey that's okay because the veterinary nurse we hired a few weeks ago just didn't show up for work one day. Not even the police know what happened to her but lucky for us she has a key to the pet hospital and we now must spend several hundred dollars changing all the locks and keys to the building.

Many of you have worked in or owned small businesses so these situations may sound familiar to you. My question to you is how do you get through it all until the bunches of goo stop coming?

If you're interested in participating, email Reg at spandog11@aol.com and he'll mail you a form to fill out and return to him.  Questions include "why do you have a dog?" and "what wags your dog's tail?"  He's also interested in your comments about what happens to dogs in the afterlife...

It's a good cause and a good guy.  Let us know when your book is done, Reg!

So, her owner decided to see if she could surf! And she took to it! Now she is helping by doing fundraisers for people by surfing!

Take a look at her story. The video is worth watching all the way through! A very touching story!

All total, the bids came to a whopping $1436.49!! That is a truly generous sum of money raised by a wonderful community of pet bloggers.

I am so happy that World by the Tail, and us at the Café were able to donate items. (And at least in my own case, bid and win a couple of items!) It feels good to help with something like this with the money going to a good cause.

Thank you, Dr. V, for taking on this monumental task and to everyone who donated, bid, and participated! Great job!!

"They call me the breeze...I keep rolling down the road. I've got that green light baby... I gotta keep moving on. There's no change in the weather... ain't no changes in me. I ain't hiding from nobody and nobody's hiding from me. Well now they call  me the breeze...I keep rolling down the road."

 --Lynyrd Skynyrd

This was the perfect life and theme song for my sweet 13 year-old dog Pfeiffer (we had to euthanize her last Thursday night) (see above picture). Despite having two terminal intestinal diseases, she was tough, brave, and still managed to stay casual and calm during rough times. She was an inspiration to our family because she always took whatever adversity she faced in stride. Yes...she had the wisdom to keep rolling down the road because she knew how to take each day as it came, never worrying about yesterday or tomorrow.

It would be an understatement to say that it was difficult for my family and I to euthanize Pfeiffer. As a grief counselor, I'm aware of the nauseous roller coaster that pain and grief can create. Yet, despite all this, I can take some comfort in knowing that this decision was the right one. We gave her a peaceful, loving and dignified death free of needless suffering. It was a hard day, but one I'd like to briefly share.

After the kids got home from school, we took Pfeiffer over to the Garden of The Gods. There are terrific pathways there for people and dogs to walk on (this was one of her favorite spots). It was snowing that afternoon (which we were very grateful for since Pfeiffer has always loved the snow and cold).  Although she had trouble standing up and walking, she was able to walk a little bit with us supporting her. After spending some time sniffing the bushes and listening to the birds, we took her home (after treating her to several Arby's roast beef sandwiches on the ride home). Once home, we put her on her most favorite blanket in our living room and then surrounded her with our own blanket of love.

I'm always hearing from people how helpful World by the Tail products are in working through grief. Last week, I experienced this first hand as we were able to memorialize Pfeiffer right away. We made four ClayPaws® prints (one for each of us). My son chose to use the heart shaped cutter while the other prints were the traditional circle shape). All four prints came out beautifully and were unique to each of us (by using the many charms, ribbons, and stamps available to personalize our prints). We also used one of the large body care bags to transport Pfeiffer's body to the crematory. Later that night, we all sat down together and read both Dog Heaven and A Special Place For Charlee.These books and our subsequent discussion afterward was very healing. During the next few weeks, we also plan to use the Sweet Petatoes® Pet Memories Box, The Photo Brag Books as well as the Deluxe Dog Scrapbook kits. All these products will help us with our grief and keep her close to us.

Like many of you, I'm grateful for the wonderful people and products at World by The Tail.  I'm also grateful that I could talk to you all about my dear, sweet, old lady. Who knows.. with World by the Tail's guidance and our family love, maybe someday I can return to rolling down the road.

A: Wow, this hits home for me right now.

My 89-year-old mother-in-law died recently and I found myself wanting to keep everything she owned that reminded me of her.  And, in fact, I wanted to keep her home exactly as it had always been, too, because walking in there always comforted me and brought me a feeling of peace and well-being.  Entering her living room felt like going home to me.  It was warm and welcoming and, well, homey.  After she died, I needed to feel that way even more than before and in dismantling her rooms, I felt like I was losing her again in the process.

Sometimes keeping everything "exactly where they have always been" provides a short-term comfort, but honestly, if we refuse to move on after a few weeks, we may actually be refusing to fully accept the reality of our loss.  As we divided up my mother-in-law's things and her home transformed into a place I no longer recognized, I felt sad, but it did somehow help me move on through my loss.  I actually could feel some of my attachment to her seem to lighten.

After all, we are NOT our possessions.  And, I found I didn't need to keep everything intact in order to feel connected to this woman whom I loved so much.

Still, experts say keeping a few meaningful "linking objects" (items that remind us of or connect us to a loved one who has died) is healthy and can actually aid the grieving process.  But, how many is too many?  I currently have several boxes of things from my mother-in-law's home, not to mention several other boxes from my own mother who died many years ago!  Eventually whittling this stash down to a few items seems right to me.  And the items I keep won't be the "valuable" ones.  They'll be the things that are personal, something imbued with my loved ones' spirits or reminders of their daily routines...a favorite coffee cup, a ClayPaws® print of a pet's paw, a piece of jewelry worn everyday, etc.

There's really no right or wrong when it comes to keeping or disposing of a loved one's possessions and reminders.  The key is finding a process that works for everyone.  If your family is becoming irritated with your ongoing need to remain inked to your cat, it's important to listen to their concerns.  Perhaps you could remove the items from the rooms you all share and place them somewhere where you can see and touch them when you want to...this might be somewhere in your clothes closet, in a basement work room or store room, etc.  In the public areas, you might place a favorite photo or other tribute that is acceptable to everyone.  This way, your cat won't completely disappear from your life, but your family won't feel "triggered" by their own sadness and grief each time they're in the room.

Remember that what's comforting to one person may be very upsetting to another.  Family grief requires a series of conversations and compromises.  What "linking objects" are acceptable and comforting for all of you?

Voting is open. We'd love it if you'd pop over and give us a vote - and vote for your other favorite pet blogs in all the categories!

Vote for us in the "Best Informational Blog About Pets" category!

Bronson is a champion obedience dog. Deborah and Peter Allen, his humans, tell stories of his good behavior! He found Peter's cell phone and brought it to him before he even knew it was missing. Well, Bronson brought home something more alarming than a cell phone!

He showed up with a deadly copperhead snake in his mouth, and wrapped around his jaws. Deborah says, "... he'll pick anything up and bring it to us, hanging on to it until we say 'give'." Luckily, when he brought the snake home, his humans were there to help him out of a life-threatening situation!

Unsure of how to handle this potentially scary situation, Peter told Deborah to get a photograph as they tried to figure out how to help Bronson. He thought no one would believe their story without photographic evidence. Deborah found a bag and was able to get it up and over the snake - still in Bronson's mouth. She said "Give" to Bronson, and he obeyed. The snake dropped into the bag and they sealed it up.

Deborah and Peter then rushed Bronson to the hospital to be safe if he had gotten a bite, which it turns out, he had. Bronson had to spend four days in the hospital, but he is healthy and happy at home again! (Full story at the Herald Sun site. Photo by Deborah Allen.)

Have you ever had a pet do something like this? Or experience a snake bite? Crazy!

Well, I read about another type of live cam, and I definitely wanted to share this with you! The North American Bear Center in Ely, Minnesota has installed a camera in a bear den! This mother bear, Lily, had her single cub, live on camera, on January 22nd. She is now snug in her den with her cub. You can tune in and see what's happening with the pair anytime. (I just tuned in as I was writing this post. There isn't much going on - but you can actually see Lily breathing. Even that is kind of amazing!)

The site with the live camera feed is quite amazing. Each day, there is an update post about what's happening in and around the den. There is a lot of educational information about bears, and what you might expect to see or hear while watching Lily. (the image is of Lily in her den, from the bear.org website.)

I'm quite amazed by technology sometimes. I make my living working with technology (bringing you this blog, and our websites. I live at a distance from the World by the Tail headquarters {Oregon for me, Colorado for them}. Without our amazing technology this wouldn't be possible!) I love that we can use things like web cams to learn about the habits of bears! Or Shiba Inus! :)

Enjoy watching Lily, or the puppy litter (who are more active than the bears just now!)

The year before I left the Argus Institute at Colorado State University's Veterinary Teaching Hospital, we had the opportunity to collaborate with several local veterinarians who were interested in starting a pet hospice service in our community.  The Argus Institute was fortunate to have Gail Bishop on staff who was an experienced Hospice volunteer/trainer and willing to coordinate the pilot program.

Well, in the most recent CSU veterinary college enewsletter for faculty and alumni, there is an article saying the Pet Hospice program at CSU has expanded to 36 veterinary student volunteers and can now serve 15 terminally ill pets and their human families at any one time.   About 90 families have been helped since the program began and 22 local veterinary clinics have participated.  Since the beginning of the program, more than 120 students have been trained as volunteers and gained real world experience in providing grief support and palliative care.  What I like about this is that these students will take their skills to their practices when they go out into the world and hopefully offer pet hospice programs in their communities.  When you provide this type of training in the university environment, it has a ripple effect in the field of veterinary medicine. 

CSU has the only university-based, veterinary student-led pet hospice program in the world.  If you want to learn more, visit http://www.argusinstitute.colostate.edu/pethospice.htm (Image is the 2008-2009 Argus Pet Hospice volunteers.)

Discovery Networks posted this video. They have set up video "traps" to try and capture images of these rare cats in Sumatra. These tigers are very endangered - there are probably only about 400 in the wild. This footage is the first they have received from these camera traps. These cats are a mother and her cubs. They find the camera trap and investigate (some very cute close-ups ensue.)

These big cats are being poached for the black market, so they are in critical danger of dying off. It is so great to see the work being done to help them keep from this fate!

Check out the size of the paws on the cubs! It's amazing. What beautiful animals these are! World by the Tail actually has a ClayPaws® print in the office of a tiger. It's about 3 times the size of a "normal" dog print!

Enjoy this video!

Yes...the pet loss counselor is now the client needing support so I appreciate it if I could share with you. Pfeiffer developed two horrible diseases over the past 6 months. She's got severe inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) which causes a condition known as "protein losing enteropathy." Simply put, her intestines cannot absorb nutrients from the food that she eats. If that wasn't bad enough, she also has a problem known as "exocrine pancreatic insufficiency" (EPI) a disorder in which the pancreas stops producing the enzymes necessary to digest and take in food. There's a specific medicine for this...a powder that actually breaks down or "digests" the food before she eats it. It was working for a short time, but her intestinal disease is proving to be too much for her.

I don't understand all this fancy medical jargon but I do know this...Preiffer is slowly starving to death and there's not a single thing we can do to stop it. No matter what we feed her and what medicines we give her, she is slowly wasting away as her energy, strength, and spirit keeps dropping every day. Since she's not absorbing nutrients, she has lost a great deal of strength and she ends up falling down a lot. She also has trouble with controlling her stool so she has frequent accidents. When I add all this up together, it just doesn't seem like a good quality of life to me.

I can recite for you chapter and verse of all the things I would say to help a client in this situation. It's a whole different matter however when you're on the other side of the street. I find that my head is at constant war with my heart. Intellectually, I know all the questions we need to ask in helping us make a decision about euthanasia. However, my heart is not cooperating as I find that most of the time, all I can do is cry. As Steve is a veterinarian, he could probably keep her going for several more weeks but here's the rub...just because we can keep her alive longer does that mean we should ? It seems ironic to me that I've helped hundreds of pet owners make euthanasia decisions just like this but my professional knowledge is of little help (and it some ways makes it worse).

I've always been a huge proponent of quality of life and it sounds good in theory to euthanize pets before they end up truly suffering. The reality of it however is quite a different thing. It hurts, it's confusing, and it's driving me crazy. As a family, Steve, the kids, and I have decided to euthanize her at the end of this week. Being with her these past few days has been both a blessing and a curse. We can love on her more than we ever have, but in the end, there is still this dark, scary, ominous day coming soon.

I'm sure many of you have been in situations like these with your own pets. How have you balanced the desire to keep them going with their quality of life? Thanks for letting me share with you. I guess it's that's awful time when I  need to put my money where my mouth is.

The findings of a study were presented at a conference in Kansas City, MO late last year. "Adults who use pet therapy while recovering from total joint-replacement surgery require 50% less pain medication than those who did not." (See full article here.)

Wow! I think this study is rather amazing. I think any pet parent will tell you that their pets are therapeutic in many ways! They provide companionship, love, fun, exercise companions, etc. But, finding that pets can really help us heal better and with less medications is pretty amazing!

I know, for me, my cats really help when I'm sick. (I've never had something as drastic as joint replacement... but illnesses are no fun either!) They seem to know when they need to be gentle and cuddle with you for YOUR sake rather than theirs! Our Ben cat especially is great when you're sick. He is a lovey cat anyway, but he's so gentle and not pushy when you're down and out!

Do your pets help you when you're sick? I personally think that they should employ a lot more therapy dogs if they really can help reduce the amount of medications people require!

It is called the Pet Peace of Mind program. This particular Hospice is recognizing that the bond people have with their pets is very important, even when that human may be dying. From their website, "MHH's (Mount Hood Hospice) Pet Peace of Mind program allows patients to complete their end of life journey without worrying about their pet's needs."

MHH has partnered with Banfield Charitable Trust to offer this service to their patients. They will help dying patients care for their pets so that the worry about these companions can be removed as they face the end of their own life. They offer services such as dog-walking, litter box cleaning, transport to and from veterinary appointments, and even financial assistance as available.

I thought about my own pets while reading about this amazing program. I can only imagine how often people who are dying and using Hospice services worry about their pets. It must be a difficult thing for them, and for the Hospice care-givers. Imagine being able to offer the "Peace of Mind" program to these patients! I know it would help me if I were dying to know that my pets were being cared for as well.

Do you know if any Hospice programs near you offer something like this? I hadn't heard of it before, and I'm so pleased to know that care is being given to these companion animals!

--Tammy

This all came up for me this past weekend when I was talking with a friend whose dog has been sick.  She's tried many things to help her "fur baby", as she calls her pup, and finally resorted to consulting with a pet psychic.

My friend was really excited about what the pet psychic told her and I wanted to be supportive, but I felt the old cynicism creep in...I consider myself to be a very open-minded and metaphysical thinker, but I just can't get my brain wrapped around most of the interspecies dialogues people tell me about.  Why?

They seem too detailed and too well thought-out.  I mean, I've had clients in therapy who took weeks and even months to figure out what was going on with them and yet these animals seem able to describe their problems, needs, gripes, etc. in just one simple conversation with a psychic.  And, they all apparently speak English!  Isn't it possible that German shepherds might speak German and French poodles might speak French, etc.?  How is it that a conversation with a Schnauzer is so easy?

Anyway, I truly don't want to belittle a skill and any spiritual gifts that people may genuinely have and wish to use to make life better for others.  But, I can't figure this one out.

Help me, readers!  Thanks! (photo from bigstockphoto.com)

The downside of all this? It's easy to get lost in the new technology and forget about the most important thing of all...the client and the patient. I've heard about many pet hospitals who struggle with keeping their services "personal" while implementing more advanced record keeping. For example, EVMR takes some of the doctor's eye contact away (to look at the laptop computer). In fact, a study done in human medicine found that 62% of respondents mentioned loss of eye contact as a concern and a barrier to use. (Banfield, Vol. 5, number 6).

For me, I embrace new technology and all the bells and whistles that accompany AS LONG AS the interpersonal communication remains the same! Making a connection with a client is critical for developing trust whether or not there is advanced technology. Things like open body language, eye contact, and interpersonal warmth must always exist in good working relationships.

Have any of you experienced some problems with your veterinarian after implementing new technology? I'm curious as to your thoughts and ideas.

We are all wondering how we can help. I thought I'd post again about Haiti with some updated links for donations - some are specifically to help the animals in Haiti.

First, there is a wonderful blog that we follow called Pawcurious. Dr. V is putting together an auction with 100% of the proceeds to go to the Red Cross to help Haiti. We here at World by the Tail have decided to donate two ClayPaws® kits to the auction. Visit Dr. V's blog here and find out the details. You can bid on many items, including our Capture the Love kit and a Remember the Love kit.

World by the Tail has made donations in the past to support disaster victims - Hurricane Katrina, the Indian Tsunami, and Haiti is no different. As an organization, we'll decide how best to help with a monetary donation. As individuals, we've each done the same. Giving what we can give, to the organizations that best suit us.

Here is a list - not exhaustive - of some possible ways to give. If you can't afford to give money, don't worry. Your thoughts, prayers, are important too. These people need miracles!

Animal-related giving:
ARCH - Animal Related Coalition for Haiti - a group of animal organizations together to support the animals in Haiti. The ARCH is headed by The International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW) and the World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA) and includes the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA), American Humane, Best Friends, and the Humane Society of the US (HSUS).

You can donate via an ASPCA website. (Each organization is taking donations online as well.)

Relief organizations:
Mercy Corps - this organization hires locals and support people who live in the affected area to lead relief efforts. Donate here.

UNICEF focuses first on the survival of the people - which means providing health care, water and sanitation, and adequate nutrition. Donate online.

InterAction has a huge list of organizations who are helping in Haiti already. Each is listed with how they help, and how you can help each organization. This is a great place to start your research on how you'd like to help monetarily. InterAction also has a great article on the best ways to help in a crisis situation.

There are many other organizations to choose from. The Red Cross is already a presence in Haiti, and perhaps the best known organization to donate to. Be sure that your values match those of the organization you choose to support! The text donation efforts were massive last week - and it wound up being a very great way for donations to come in very quickly for the Red Cross!

You can also follow the efforts of the National Disaster Search Dog Foundation in Haiti online at their website. These teams have had some successes in finding survivors in the rubble. They also accept donations if you'd like to help this group specifically.

Her story is so inspiring though, that it's worth sharing it again! Faith was born with only her two back legs. She has adapted to walking upright. Her owners are now letting Faith visit with injured veterans to inspire them.

There are also many stories of help and relief heading to Haiti to help in the efforts. There are teams of highly trained search and rescue workers who are either en route, or already in Haiti. These teams include numerous dogs that will help them sniff out survivors still buried in rubble. There are teams literally from around the world arriving with their dogs. France, China, Russia, Peru, Mexico, Taiwan, the US, and more countries.

The National Disaster Search Dog Foundation has deployed six dog and handler teams. The director of the NDSDF said that this is what these teams train for - to help when the unthinkable happens. If you visit their website, you can see the teams that have been deployed to help in Haiti - the humans and the canines. There is also a video of their preparations. IThe image is of Gary Durian and Baxter. They are one of the teams heading to help in Haiti. From the NDSDF website.)

There are many ways we can help, even though we're not trained such as the teams above are. Do NOT consider going to Haiti yourself. This is not a help. The way that we can all help is through monetary donations. If you can help, choose the organization that best suits you and make a donation.

Here are links to several organizations that you can donate to in help to Haiti.

National Disaster Search Dog Foundation

American Red Cross - you can text "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 (charged to your phone bill).  You can also visit their website at american.redcross.org and donate online.

UNICEF is accepting donations for Haiti online.
 
InterAction - united voice for global change has a donation fund as well.

If you are unable to donate monetarily, send out your thoughts, prayers, whatever you believe, to this devestated nation.

Well, John Grogran, author of Marley & Me faced this very dilemma recently. He and his family bought a new home and prepared to leave the old house behind. Marley was buried on the edge of the woods at that old house. Much of Grogran's professional success can be attributed to his dog Marley. The thought of leaving Marley's body behind when the family moved was nagging at them all.

Grogran's wife, Jenny, suggested that they move Marley's remains to their new location too. Grogran himself said that this was something he would "normally attribute to those nutty dog people." But... they didn't feel right not taking Marley with them. They exhumed his body (thankfully wrapped in thick, black plastic) and they created a new burial spot for him in their new home.

Honestly, I was surprised when I read this piece. I have never thought about moving a pet's body with me when I moved. When we euthanized our little Miss Girl before moving to Oregon, we did think about where we wanted to have her buried since we knew we were leaving the state soon. The house we lived in was a rental that was going to be sold soon after we left. That didn't feel right.

I called my friend, Nancy. I lived in an apartment on her property for 10 years (in the country). My Bear cat is buried in her pasture. We thought it would be good if we could place Miss Girl there too. She was great about letting us bring her there, and we buried her near my Bear, and other animals of Nancy's family. In our case, we couldn't bury Miss Girl near where we would be living, but we definitely thought about where to bury her. She is near friends and animals that have already passed. That felt better than burying her in a yard of a house that was going to belong to a stranger! (In fact, the day we buried Miss Girl, Nancy's Golden, Emma died. She was buried right next to Miss G. That was a very difficult day...)

What do you think of Grogan's decision to exhume and move Marley? Would you ever do this with one of your pets that has died? (You can read the full story about Marley's re-burial here. The photo is of me holding Miss Girl a couple years ago.)

There is a giant shrimp that lives on the Great Barrier Reef in Australia that scientists have discovered could hold the key to developing a new type of high-quality DVD player! (How weird is that?!)

These shrimp (Mantis shrimp) have "the most complex eyes in the animal kingdom. They can see in 12 primary colors, 4 times as many as humans, and can detect different kinds of light polarization -- the direction of oscillation in light waves." (Quoted directly from the story - since I don't really understand the science of it all!)

Basically, these shrimp see things so much better than humans - seeing the whole spectrum of color. Scientists think that they can mimick the vision and use it to make a DVD player that would "result in a machine capable of handling far more information than a conventional one."

I really thought this was so interesting! Who would have guessed that shrimp could result in our capability to watch movies in a better way?! I don't understand the science of it all, but I find it fascinating, none-the-less! (photo from AP/Reuters)

A study conducted at the University of Mississippi tested 87 seniors who reported having "mild health problems." Half of the seniors were given weekly counseling sessions with a nutritionist and a physical therapist while the other half took a dog for a walk every day. The results showed that those seniors who walked dogs had significantly less physical problems and lower depression rates. (I read about this study in my local newspaper, the Colorado Springs Gazette.)

Although this is just one study and the methodology is unclear, this finding only reinforces my belief that pets enrich our lives on multiple levels. They comfort us, offer unconditional love, and help us get the most of life. One of the researchers doing the study theorizes that seniors benefit physically because they are exercising every day and tend to walk longer and faster when walking with a dog than when walking by themselves.

Another wonderful outcome of this study is that all the dogs taken for daily walks were living in animal shelters. By taking them for a regular outings, their quality of life also improved and there was a decrease in their anxious behaviors such as whining, scratching, and crying. Wouldn't it be great if every animal shelter in the country partnered with senior centers for a project like this? What are your thoughts?

I need advice about allowing my preschooler to "be there" when we put our dog to sleep next week.  She is very in tuned with what happens to animals since I work in "animal rescue" but I don't want to scare her.  She loves our dog sooo much and knows he is very sick. I told her he is dying.  Since I am doing the euthanasia at home, I wanted to see if she is too young to witness this.

Thank You,
A Concerned Mom"

Here's how I replied...please add your thoughts and experiences!

Good morning, Concerned Mom,

I'm so sorry to hear of your dog's illness.  I understand how hard it is to live with the awareness that you will be losing him soon.  I know how many issues and decisions come up during this time.  The anxiety and confusion about what to do can truly preoccupy your time and thoughts....I admire your concern for your daughter and your willingness to seek some additional wisdom.

Let me begin by telling you that, like you, I have daughters (both of whom have been present at several pets' euthanasias) and also worked with many, many families with young children when I was the grief counselor at Colorado State's Veterinary Teaching Hospital.  So many parents felt the way you do...wanting to protect their children from additional sadness or even trauma, yet instinctively knowing that it just might be more beneficial for children emotionally and intellectually to be part of the saying good-bye process.

Here's what the research from the grief counseling field, as well as clinical experience, has taught me about children and pet loss:

First, as you probably know, pre-schoolers are not yet cognitively developed enough to truly be able process death.  They understand people around them feel sad and they can grasp that the pet who has always been there will no longer be physically present.  However, they don't really understand that death is permanent or that, eventually, death will come to each of us.

The up side of this developmental stage is that your child will most likely not be "frightened" by the death...she may not personalize it or even connect it to any fear of others dying.  Most likely, she will see it as a natural occurrance and may even seem quite curious about it.  You, of course, will comfort her and reassure her that this type of death (euthanasia) is only for animals and that all the people who love and surround her are healthy and planning to be with her for many years to come...

The "down" side of the preschooler development stage is that, because preschoolers don't have a complete grasp of language and can't always express what they are feeling, you may see her "acting out" a bit more because she can't really tell you that she's sad or confused about what has happened with her pet.  Your daughter may also repeatedly ask when your dog is coming back and she may even get angry with you for not bringing him back to her.  This is completely normal and shouldn't be interpretted as her being scared.  It just takes patience on your part to continue to explain death as best you can to her and empathize with how much she would like to see her dog again.  "I miss him, too.  I wish I could bring him back, but that is simply beyond my power..."

As for the actual euthanasia, you certainly know your daughter better than I, Concerned Mom, but simply knowing she has a mother like you leads me to believe that she could benefit from being there.  The young children I've worked with do very well being present as long as they have been prepared for what they will see and experience.  Before you go much further, please talk with your veterinarian so you understand exactly how he or she will perform the euthanasia.  If your vet uses a sensitive, compassionate technique and you feel he or she will be aware of your needs, as well as the medical expertise required, then you may feel quite confident that you and your daughter will be in good hands.  If you aren't sure that your veterinarian will be sensitive to the impact of the euthanasia, you may want to explore other options or have a more in-depth conversation with him or her.  Be sure your veterinarian is aware that your daughter might be present at the euthanasia.

If you feel good about your vet's techniques (both medical and emotional) describe the plan and steps involved to your daughter and ask her if she would like to draw a picture or have you help her write a note to your dog that she can give him as you say good-bye.  Since you are doing the procedure at your home, you also might want to involve her in preparing some sort of memorial that you can either place in the spot where he dies (like a plant or some flowers, a photo, etc.) or in another part of your home...somewhere she feels she can go when she wants to feel close to him again.

The key is preparation, Concerned Mom.  As you talk with her about what will happen, if you feel her anxiety escalating or, if she repeatedly says, "no, I don't want to do that," then by all means, don't force her or push her to be part of it.  Even young children know their own needs and limits and, as parents, we empower them by allowing them to make choices that are right for them.

Finally, if your daughter is going to be present at the euthanasia, I would encourage you to ask a close friend or relative to be there with you in your home, with the clear role of taking care of your daughter for you when her attention wanes and she moves on to other things.  Since preschoolers have short attention spans, she may not wish to remain involved for very long in the good-byes.  She may not have as much need as you to sit with your dog and simply spend time with him.  However, if you are the only one there to attend to your daughter, you may not get the time you need to say and do what's right for you and your sweet friend.

So, the bottom line is, 1) talk to your veterinarian prior to the procedure so you understand exactly what will occur, 2)prepare your daughter and assess how she reacts to the open choice of being with your dog and, 3) if she's present, ask someone to be there to take care of her, if she needs supervision before you are able to provide it. 

I hope this helps, Concerned Mom.  If you have further questions, don't hesitate to email again or contact one of the counseling services we have posted on our website (You'll find a list in the Veterinary Wisdom® Support Center on our Pet Parent site). I trust your instincts, Concerned Mom, whatever you decide.  My thoughts and heart are with you and your sweet dog.

Now, I must admit I usually get all snobby and self-righteous about dressing up animals.  I think it turns them into play things and doesn't encourage people to treat them with dignity and respect.  But, these pictures are so absurd and, well, downright clever, that I found myself feeling delighted by them.

I guess it's not for me to say it's right or wrong to use animals in this way.  I just know it's funny.  Check it out at www.kittywigs.com and see what you think.