vetlongwalks is homebound

money-excited

2011-08-07T12:28:00.003+08:00

how is it that it's easy for some people to get excited?

is my hormonal problem the culprit?

anyway, whatever the cause for my very minimal "excitement hormone" (is there such a thing??), i have reason to believe that something is going on IN me that is triggering my excitement to its highest level. oh yes, i'll be leaving for ho chi minh/siem reap this Saturday, YAY!!! but however i want to pinpoint it to that upcoming travel, i really cannot attribute this excitement to THAT. there is something greater that's causing it and i know it's beyond me or anything.

so, since it's rare that i do get excited, i thought of chronicling it here. that way, i can get back to this should there be a point in my life that will make me question life itself.

stewardship.

i'm not very GODLY nor am i consistent in going to church. heck, the only time i go to church is on my birthday and on Jesus' birthday. i cannot even imagine myself writing about GOD and yet here i am talking about GOD. trust me, my belief in GOD is not very steadfast. should a higher power test me on my faith, i will surely fail. big time. despite this belief set in my head, i'm amazed at how my life is turning out and how i'm led to one aspect that GOD knows will capture my attention: financial management.

yes, money. currently, i'm drawn to issues on getting out of debt, saving, and investing. how are these topics GOD related? well, as it turns out - according to a book i've read - the BIBLE has a lot of contents devoted to the topic of money. in fact, there's one provision where GOD actively ask people to test HIM, specifically on the subject of tithing:

Malachi 3:10

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this," says the LORD of hosts, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows."

according to books i came across, all the things in Earth are GOD's and that us humans are mere stewards of HIS wealth. that said, it's important to be wise in managing the little or more we have, whether it's school allowance if you're a student, salary if you're a worker, or profit if you're an enterpreneur.

i'm by no means rich, nor have the means to be rich quick. haha, i am even one of many people with consumer debt a.k.a credit card debt. that alone should give me NO authority to speak about money, much more on financial management. that may be the case, authority or not, i'm VERY EXCITED about this topic. like i pointed out earlier, "excitement" doesn't come easily to me. it is truly a surprise to me why talking about it gets me excited even at the absence of savings. if you're a member of my team or one of my friends, you will probably see this in action. recently, ive been talking to my members/friends about financial management and even to our admin people in the office and yeah, some of them may be thinking i'm becoming loony on this one. but what the heck, i'm passionate about this and hopefully it will not wane. i'm just happy that a little at a time, i can get people to be serious financial managers with their own money. i am VERY FAR away from being a good financial manager, but i'm just happy to say that i'm working towards it. in my mind, although i will not die a millionaire (or a thousandnaire)- i will dream about it and attempt it, hehe.. - the thought that i'm encouraging at least one or two persons to better handle their finances is an enough incentive. let's just say, i believe in ripple effect. i believe that one person gaining knowledge leads another to gain that same knowledge and more. my professor in college, miss g, once said that knowledge is not meant to be kept, it's meant to be shared.

oh, about ripple effect? i was shown an example of it: yoga. i've been telling people about the benefits of yoga. and after countless mention; i got two of my college friends to try yoga yesterday. hehe, one friend dragged a husband (a month ago), another dragged a fiancee and another friend. well, they may not all be convinced at the benefits of yoga, i'm just happy that at least one of them will be convinced enough to spread it to their network.

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so, let's spread the knowledge going. let's start with bo sanchez's free e-book called My Maid Invests in the Stock Market, and Why You Should Too.

you can go to this site: www.trulyrichclub.com. a pop-out will ask you to send your e-mail address to get a free copy of the 28-page e-book.

blake shelton

2011-05-09T19:00:00.006+08:00

blake who?

this guy, that's who. meet country crooner blake shelton.

i don't know this guy until i watched NBC's new show "The Voice" - a singing competition pitted against "American Idol" last night. i'm looking at these two pictures, and somehow the word handsome just won't fit him. he's definitely not brad pitt or johnny depp adorable, but i like, like.. or LOVE watching him on the show. it's probably his height or that i've always have a bias for someone who can play the guitar. anyway, whatever it is, it definitely pushed me to download his two albums last night. rob thomas will have to take a sideline for now.

photo credit: taken from NBC's The Voice official site.

new bedroom wall decors

2011-04-16T02:00:00.016+08:00

circa 2007
this was how one of the rooms looked like when the house was turned over to me. although, this is NOT EXACTLY mine, but that of the model unit. haha, i got cheapskate housing, thus, this room is the same for every homeowner who got the same unit.

circa 2008
i didn't move in to my pet house immediately after it was finished. moron me thought only of the monthly amortization when john first talked about this subdivision project in mactan. boy, was i in for a big surprise when all the other expenses came knocking hard on my front door - there were move-in fees, fees for electricity and water - not to mention light fixtures, furniture and whatnots. so yeah, with nothing but the mullah that comes twice in a month, i had to wait for months before i could truly settle in. funny, i couldn't even afford to buy decent bed sheets. the really, really nice ones will cost you around 3k pesos and more. of course, there are those you'll be lucky enough to get on sale for at least php350 - they're the super, super thin kind, though [but who's complaining when you don't have the budget, haha]. so because bed sheets are expensive, i resorted to using my trusted sleeping bag, which was what i used before i bought the bed frame and mattress, for bed cover.

circa 2011

hehe, cost in turning your house into something livable and at least pleasant to look at is really, really HIGH. that's why even after almost three years - i've done nothing much to improve this room. last week, i made AN EFFORT to at least put something nice to my little blue room. i've always wanted to have nude paintings in my house - but the cheapskate me is not willing to part 3k++ just to get myself a small nude painting.
see, i always think of plane tickets and hotel rooms whenever i consider buying something. if things will cost me the price of a plane ticket or a hotel room, i - more often than not - will choose to buy the plane ticket. so there. but since i still want something "somewhat nude" [allowing a little consideration for my conservative mother who drops in from time to time for a visit] in my room, i opted to hit google image search. picked those that caught my fancy - hit the "print screen" button, pasted to ms paint, saved as jpeg and voila - my little artwork [drat, i forgot to save the artists' names, but all credit is due you whoever you guys are]. then, i brought the jpegs to a photo print shop and ordered a 10 x 14 print. at picture city in ayala, cost per print is php120. next stop was metro ayala's home section and bought equally cheap frames at php349 each.

figuring out where to put my two wall frames

preparing the materials

photo envelopes. i got them for 2,500 won during a visit to seoul in 2010

details, details, details

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p.s. after finishing this little project, i got so hungry that i decided to cook some asparagus for dinner. a few minutes into chopping onions, garlic, tomatoes, asparagus, ju called to inform me that our boss wanted to have a dinner meeting in an hour. i ended up cooking the dish the next day and enjoyed an almost fish+vege dinner over at red kimono, ayala [of course, i had a grumbling stomach during the entire meeting as i only had oat meal that day for brunch. at least the meeting didn't last too long and we all headed to rk for dinner]

stripe couches

2011-04-10T23:29:00.008+08:00

last march 28, i blogged about taking on an ambitious task of making my own couch slipcover. it is an ambitious task as i'm no expert at sewing. in fact, it's only when i bought my second-hand sewing machine did i get to try my hands at sewing using an electric machine. anyway, i ended that post with a promise to sew a slipcover for the smaller couch. well, last week - i had my pain symptoms again. the pain though wasn't that intense to knock me off my feet. so to distract myself from the throbbing sensations all over my pelvic and back area, i resumed to finishing the task of making my own couch slipcover.

so this couch:

is now dressed with this:

another angle:

i mentioned in that previous post that i'm darn PROUD at having successfully tackled this project. at the risk of sounding like a broken machine, i'm going to say it again: I'M PROUD, PROUD!!! at having these couches in my living room now. I MADE THOSE SLIPCOVERS MYSELF!!! AWESOME, if i may say so, LOL!!!

[disclaimer: of course, you have to consider that i've never done this before, thus the seemingly ecstatic reaction at such a simple task.]

p.s. i was reading back my earlier posts and came upon the post on why i created this blog. drat, i realized that some of my posts were very off tangent to the original goal or reason why i created this in the first place. thus, for all my beautiful u rants and whatnots, i'll be posting them here: my beautiful U(terus). haha, so assuming that people read me. oh, well:)

darn PROUD!!!

2011-03-28T00:26:00.011+08:00

i live alone.

i don't own a tv set. i only have my li'l almost 3-year old 7-inch eee pc for company and some books. see?

so, i'm often asked if i don't ever get bored. well, being a lone homeowner there are just so much to do, especially if you choose to be cheapskate and do things on your own - there's cleaning and laundry, and cooking. though they're fairly common chores, believe me, they do eat up a lot of time [that or i'm just slow in accomplishing them]. anyway, yeah, there are times that neither downloaded t.v. series nor books is enough to while away time especially on weekends. so when boredom hits me, i take out my little sewing box and sew curtains or floor pillowcases. i sew by hand so it takes me long hours to finish one project. hey, i'm no expert. in fact, my finished output ain't that spectacular, but i'm proud to have come up with something out of nothing. in my mind, who cares as there's no one to inspect and judge them.

anyway, though i love sewing by hand, i know it's not practical to spend so much hours on it. so whenever i get to go home to my parents' house, i often ask my sister to be on the look out for an electric sewing machine. something that's cheap. i even told her to check out the manalili stores as i heard one time that there are second-hand machines for sale there. alas! as the universe would have it, her immediate boss, who's about to migrate to canada then, texted her about disposing her German-make electric sewing machine. So, i readily told my sister to buy it for me.

So NOW, i have this baby to keep me company on boring weekends.

HAHA. Like i said, it's made in Germany. So, its manual is in German so I've to figure out things via pictures only.

OKAY, i resort to youtube mostly.

since the time i took possession of it, late january - i haven't made something yet - except for its cover. i made it using the fabric of an umbrella that i only got to use for three occasions as its frame snapped from the strong mactan winds.

last saturday, however i took on an ambitious challenge. haha, courtesy of miss debi. last march 12, i went to manila. hours before my flight back, miss debi brought me to this fabric store in market, market and i saw these lovely stripes of brown and pink fabric. the first thing that came to my mind was PINK!!! - it would complement my lime green walls at home. miss debi thought of making a bag out of it, but when i blurted out my idea to make a slipcover out of it, she egged me to buy the fabric. i sure love the fabric pattern, but i'm a newbie when it comes to sewing using the machine.. [i haven't used one saved for when i bought it].. but she encouraged me nevertheless. i gave in, and this is what i have now in my living room.

if you closely inspect it, its detail is very much wanting. but what the heck: I MADE MY OWN COUCH SLIPCOVER!!!! haha, i'm just so proud. the only regret is my legs are in so much pain! haha, i've muscle sore from hell from the time spent measuring the couch, cutting the fabric, sewing and re.sewing. nevertheless, i'm still HAPPY!!!

now, on my next free time or "in-the-mood-to-sew" time, i'll make the cover for this:

liam neeson's unknown

2011-02-23T23:57:00.003+08:00

it's been ages since i last saw a movie at the cinemas. if my memory serves me, the last one i saw was angelina jolie's salt. a week back, i received a citibank notification informing cardholders that there was an extension to the redemption of free movie passes. as i recently swiped the premium payment for my insurance, i decided to redeem my free movie pass early today.

being quite a huge fan of liam neeson, i naturally chose to watch his film "unknown." the guy never disappoint. much like "taken" i truly enjoyed this one. i'm amazed at the plot. although, it felt that i may have read or seen a similar plot - i still think that he truly was consistent in only selecting the best story for himself. so i'm truly disappointed that he quit spielberg's lincoln. had looked forward to seeing him play my favorite historical figure on earth.

anyway, i love that the movie is fast-paced and it has your usual car chase that keeps you on the edge of your seat. the revelation of who his character really was was rather compelling. if only for that, i would highly recommend this movie. one little thing. i also am impressed with the fact that in this movie, our muslim brothers were not painted as the cruel guys. i guess, it's a novelty to see a movie with a muslim character being represented as someone humanitarian and sets himself out to promoting discovery of technology that ends world hunger.

on a totally unrelated note, i also recommend natalie portman's 'black swan'. while i only saw it courtesy of downloaded torrent, this movie i think is worth every penny you pay. although i doubt if the general audience would appreciate this kind of film making.

no idea

2010-11-08T00:22:00.003+08:00

OK. i've been out of the blogosphere for a time now. it's probably because in the past few months, i convinced myself that constantly being online isn't doing me any good except make an already stressful life more stressful. plus i convinced myself that nobody could give a rat's ass about what's going on with myself. oh, i'm still convinced that nobody gives a rat's ass. but i'm back for the sole purpose of letting off steam, hehe... NO, i'm not full of anger. the reason i'm back [or is trying to..] is because i'm so full of myself now. i want to tell the world how unexciting my life is at the moment. OK, i'm making up excuses. i don't have an iota idea of why i'm back. i probably just want to pound on the keyboard and hope that some sense will come out of this.

ok, i'm not really making any sense right now.

here's hoping a good week ahead.

p.s. i thank the universe that i only have simple endometrial hyperplasia without atypia. will probably blog about it sometime.

getting old

2010-07-06T15:12:00.001+08:00

i've heard of a lot of people not wanting to grow old. it's like old age is the end of the world. true at some point old age will take you to your end, eventually. all of us are bound to die at some point. it's just interesting to note that i don't dread growing old. a friend succinctly used the word "entitled" when asked how she felt reaching the big THREE ZERO.

yes, yes, being 30 doesn't equate to being old. OLD is when you reach 60 and get yourself a senior citizen's card {haha}. anyhow, "entitled" is a good enough word to describe my own feelings of reaching three decades on earth. she was right when she said that at this age, we're no longer too young to be considered naive nor too old to have gone past our prime. [i maybe getting this wrong, forgot her exact words]

if there's one thing that crosses my mind when talking about getting old, it's "why the heck confidence comes much, much later?" i don't know but to me getting old goes in tandem with gaining confidence. of course, there are those who were born confident and achieved confidence early in life [lucky them] but to some others like me, confidence comes way later. i'd say i have "getting old" to thank for for giving me that bit of confidence in myself and in everything that i do. oh, i still don't rule the world, but i sure feel that i can take on anything the world will throw at me. it's also at this age that you get to do things that you normally are unable to do because you're younger. to that i'm grateful that i'm getting old. though i say that i don't dread it, i most certainly don't welcome it with overeager open arms. of course, there are also some feelings of uncertainty. but like i said, getting old gives me a little boost of confidence enough to welcome the unknown. another realization about getting old is when you're much older you somehow are more accepting of mistakes. with that you try more things you wouldn't normally do had you been younger. when you're older you seem to lose the fear of making mistakes. i guess, it happens because when you're older you take more responsibility on your actions and so you try things. whether trying new things will turn out bad, you do it anyway, because then you are ready to take on the blame or be more accountable of your action. i haven't arrived at any plausible reason for this, yet.

letting go.. a lesson learned

2010-06-02T10:08:00.001+08:00

last weekend, i saw the beach for the first time this year. i went with some friends from the office on a road trip. one of our stops was bantayan island. i'm almost a year and three decades old, but i've never been to this famous island of my beloved cebu. a big shame really and what a big thing i've missed out. anyway, the road trip was memorable as always. what struck me most though was the simple lesson on letting go - something i learned while on the island. see, i love the beach. but i'm no swimmer. i don't even know how to float on water. the lack of swimming no-how could be attributed to not having swimming lessons while i was younger nor the daring to really learn how to swim. but the primary reason for this lack of swimming skill is the fear of the water itself. the fear that i might drown. the simple fear of the water getting in my ears. thus, every time i'm anywhere near the beach, i only contented myself to just staying and sitting at the shallow end of the water. i don't ever venture out to the deep part even when all the fun and everyone are there. no prodding could get me to where the fun is. well, i'm a scaredy-cat that way. but last weekend, i made the decision to let go of the fear - to just take in all the saltwater my eyes, ears, and lungs could endure. i was dead set on not getting out of the water until i know how to float. after several attempts and taking in much saltwater in my system, I DID IT! it was a small feat, but it was a big achievement for me. it might even be a one time deal, but i savored the moment just the same.

letting go. that was what did it for me. the past few days i've been trying to teach myself this concept. with what happened over the weekend, i'm now more convinced that sometimes in life, one only needs to let go in order to achieve the wondrous things life can offer. that difficult as one might think letting go is, it's actually something that can be done. one only needs to take that first crucial step: DECIDE. letting go will follow quite naturally, in fact.

harnessing my inner plumber

2010-05-26T15:06:00.001+08:00

i'm ecstatic. but now that i think about it, the word is inappropriate. i'm proud. that's the more apt word to describe how i'm feeling. but no, i didn't do something heroeic or anything remotely noble or grand. i'm just proud that i was able to harness my inner plumber last night [hehe, i know, i know - i'm weird]. but seriously, i managed to change my own water supply line with no help from anyone. the task sounds so daunting, but actually it's not. nevertheless i feel as if i've accomplished something really big. if you google "how to replace a toilet water supply line" you'll see how simple it really is. that's what i thought at first, too. i was so confident that i can do it on my own. but, when i was down on my knees trying to twist the angle valve and attach it to the water supply pipe, i was cursing expletives in my head. it's quite difficult because i only had about an inch or two of space to work with. i couldn't easily turn the valve the way i want it because the wrench was too big to allow it to turn the valve to a full 360 degrees. another difficulty is every time i get the angle valve tight, the opening to which the water supply line will be attached often always end up facing sideways. i wanted it to face upwards so it'd be easier for me to attach the water supply line's packing nut. thus, i ended up re.adjusting the valve and was yet again faced with the difficulty of twisting and turning the valve. another difficulty is of the job requiring muscle strength. but i refused the urge to call out for help. so, after several tries, i finally did manage to get my toilet a working water supply line. BRAVO to me!

after this success, i proceed to tackling the faucet in my bathroom sink. the faucet is now all too rusty. sooner or later, it too would give way. thus, i also bought a replacement faucet, but to my dismay - the plastic that holds the pipe in place was too tight. i couldn't unscrew it. the area under the sink is truly not friendly for repairs. the place was too cramped to allow a full range of motion. i guess, plumbers have to be creative on how they pull off twisting and turning pipes with such a limited space. oh well, i didn't want to have a leaky faucet, thus i postponed the tinkering to some other time. i'll just resort to observing my newly installed water supply line for leaks.

of showerheads and water supply line

2010-05-25T15:20:00.001+08:00

a couple of weeks back, i set my eyes on cleaning my bathroom's shower head. after religiously cleaning it, i tried to attach the showerhead back onto the goose-neck shower arm. when i hand tighten it, the pipe nipple fell into pieces. great! as buying a new showerhead was not part of the month's budget, i went without a shower for a few weeks. so when i received my pay yesterday, i readily went to ace hardware at sm to buy myself a new showerhead. wow! the store carries a wide range of showerheads that are pretty neat and EXPENSIVE. as i didn't exactly know the size of my showerhead's pipe and couldn't bring myself to ask one of the store attendants, i went ahead to getting the cheapest kind they had at the store. i got the showerhead that once cost PhP174 for a discounted price of PhP 150 [start rolling your eyes, i'm weird this way]. to my mind, i'd just get the cheapest one so in the off chance that i get the fitting all wrong, then i would have wasted only 150 instead of the PhP2000 to 4000-kind that i wanted had i not allowed my practical and cheapskate sense to get the better of me. besides, the PhP150-showerhead isn't made of plastic and it actually go well with the existing shower arm. when i got home, i readily attached my new showerhead and enjoyed a real nice bath.

when i finished my bath, i was happy that i had addressed the shower issue once and for all. i proceeded to enjoy a serving of pasta, an episode of the mentalist as a reward. after watching the episode, i went ahead to doing my bi-weekly budget when i heard the sound of running water coming from my bathroom.

bam! wham! the packing nut of my toilet's water supply line gave way. i tried to attach the nozzle back, but the whole thing just fell into my hands. i got all wet that i had to resort to shutting the main water supply valve of my pet house. darn, it's rather inconvenient to be going out of the house and twisting the valve open just i could have running water. now, my budget's been made and there's no room for extra expense such as buying a new water supply line and supply valve and fee for a plumber. but clearly, i cannot do without the water supply line unless i forego using the toilet. that can't be. so i resolve to make myself a plumber tonight and let's see how much damage or good i can make out of this. good luck to me and my water bill!

flu and pneumo shots

2010-05-23T14:19:00.002+08:00

this year, i vowed to be healthier [except for the coke habit, er, coca cola]. well, at least i try to. so in line with that goal, i readily grabbed the opportunity when my sister texted that her company is offering discounted rates for flu and pneumonia shots to their employees and family members. so early saturday morning, i headed to their office. she and my parents were there too to get the said shots. me, i opted to get both as i'm paranoid this way. the event was rather uneventful. saw garry, an old high school classmate with his wife and baby, there too. it was very interesting to see little children with their different reaction towards needles. there's one brave 4 or 5-year old girl who was really cool about the whole injection thing. whereas there was her cousin, probably two years older than her and a boy, who was wailing not to have the injections. it was a funny and endearing sight. there was also this boy whom doctors kept egging not to look at the needle during the vaccination. the boy was crying the whole time. i think it wasn't so much as fear of the needle, but more of a frustration from adults preventing him to look at the needle and see the whole procedure with his own eyes. he was really bent on wanting to watch while the needle was inserted into his arm. as for me, i never shy away from needles. it's probably because i've been to doctors several times that i really don't dread any kind of procedure. like i mentioned, the vaccination was uneventful. i got the flu shot on my left deltoid and the pneumonia shot on my right deltoid. though there was no pain during the injection saved for the first needle prick, the story is altogether different now. i woke up today with shoots of pain on my right arm. i could barely move my right arm. dang, it's difficult taking the shower and getting into a shirt. i know this pain will be temporary. hopefully, i can begin to move my arm without much pain by tomorrow or by tuesday.

if these were the after effects, i now don't look forward to getting cervical vaccination in august. a doctor friend offered to give three shots at a discounted rate. my sister also informed me that she's had cervical vaccine before and it took a week before she could have her arm back to normal. anyhow, i think i will still saved up for this. i'm single and i want to rule out cervical cancer in my future. what's a week of weak arm anyway compared to the misery of having cervical cancer. although cancer doesn't run in our family, i think it's just best to prevent it when there's a way it can be prevented. i hope other women will try to get themselves vaccinated too.

untitled

2010-05-05T22:52:00.002+08:00

the past week/month was kinda hectic. i didn't do much but it felt and seemed that way. anyhow, just to rid myself of that busy feeling - i'll just make a run through of the week/month that was:

- flew to bangkok last april 13 despite having doubts and healthy degree of fear. a few days before our flight, i've read nothing but terrible news of deaths and injuries of soldiers and rally-ists alike in central bangkok. luckily, when we were there - bkk was as peaceful as peaceful could get. thus, we truly had a blast. loved, loved the thai's cultural show "siam niramit." jumped with joy when i saw the magnificent ruins in ayutthaya. was amazed at some women who showed immense vaginal muscle control at bkk's famed patpong area. got all wet and white on our last day in bkk during their songkran 'new year' festivities.

- had dinner with him who will never be last april 23. as always, had fun talking about anything and everything that eventually led to him talking about his religion and its traditions. this ended with an invite to attend their "pamamahayag" - some kind of bible exposition and open forum where non-members of their church were invited and given the chance to ask questions about their beliefs.

- first book club discussion with college friends. we tackled "the kite runner." started really, really late due to phone malfunctions, last-minute grocery shopping, and equally late but hilarious and fun dinner of liempo, lechon manok and halo-halo for dessert. i think it was around 10 PM that we finally had ourselves in front of the two computers. miss debi joined the four of us [moi, marini, ivy, and joan] via video call. after a few computer glitches, we had an animated discussion of the book that ended way past midnight. agreed to read e.m. forster's room with a view next

- april 25, as the plan to meet at mactan shrine for the kadaugan sa mactan food fest was foiled as joan got the information wrong, she and i ended up notebook/laptop shopping at sm cyberzone. we left with me lugging joan's very pink asus eee pc.

- april 30 - attended the pamamahayag as promised. [well, jeans were allowed so off i went]. WOW! their church was like a courthouse, reminds me of capitol's social hall. very impressive ceilings and devoid of any statues of saints or the cross [well, jesus is not GOD for them]. apparently, during service men and women take separate seats; men occupy the left side of the hall and the women on the right. each person is also seated one person apart from one another; talk about more elbow room and personal space [this i like esp. if you're the type to cringe at sitting in close proximity with a total stranger [hehe, walay "sikit-sikiti beh, kay walo-walo ni or the like. the event left me speechless! their beliefs were totally opposite what i grew up with [or at least nothing in common with all the teachings i only learned through religious viewing of flying house and superbook, hehe]. he said i should attend their "indoctrination" so all my unasked questions will be answered and that i had nothing to fear as attending such doesn't necessarily equate to conversion. to this i only had laughter as reply + "we'll see".

-may 1. day after the pamamahayag, off i went with dude#2 and rhea to simala in sibonga. i promised arn a week prior that i'd accompany him there. as i've never been to sibonga, i readily agreed and even had rhea agree to tour us around their town and the famous church. weird.weird experience. it was my first time to go to that church without any idea what the hoopla surrounds the simala church. after paying our respect, we passed by a hallway full of testimonials from people whose petitions have been granted by mama mary - the virgin mother. coincidence or the holy spirit, but i was directed to stand before a board posting a number of ultrasound results from different hospital's women's clinic. a few were of women with myoma and other reproductive issues. some others were of women wanting to have a baby after ten or so many years of being barren. i have had reproductive issues since i was 12 years old and with a non-existent partner, i could not help but cry as the testimonials seem to encourage me to really KEEP the FAITH, and to BELIEVE and HOPE.

anyway, i'm now too sleepy to think of an appropriate closing. thus, i'll resort to saying this, "THE END!"

gifts only from beautiful people

2010-04-09T23:45:00.016+08:00

it's probably not the first time that i mentioned that in the past few months, the issue of growing old alone is getting to me. it enters my mind every so often that sometimes i convince myself that it will be scary. however, i know too, that even if i end up growing old alone, i know that i can handle it and still be happy. sure, there'd be moments that the silence of my pet house will get to me. perhaps it's this knowledge that prompted me to surround myself with trinkets and gifts from very special people. these gifts remind me that i may be the only soul in my pet house, but i'm sure as hell am loved by no less than beautiful beings.

well, it took me a while to provide decors to my pet house. perhaps it's why line bought me all these. i hope i have thanked you for them. if i haven't, know that i'm very grateful and you're still the most thoughtful person i've had the honor of knowing.

hehe, chin's had enough of me complaining about the lack of adequate cooling system in my place. so she got me this fan for my birthday and promised to upgrade it to an airconditioning unit once i get myself hitched. but looks like, i'm never going to get it. too bad..

yup, if abraham lincoln were alive, i've probably concocted a lot of schemes to get him

fridge of love. butterfly's a christmas gift, satchmo for hosting it to a trip to singapore, and bacolod for my penchant for travel

i'm a frustrated dancer. thus, i fancy anything that's related to it. when yam first brought this salsa puzzle poster, i immediately fell in love with it. hehe, i joked yam into selling me the piece, but to no avail. a few years after, when she moved to another apartment she buzzed me if i still want it as she's throwing it away. fortunately, some presence urged me check my ym archives and i read her message in time. i immediately sent a big OF COURSE! reply. thanks for this yam!

yam's do-it-yourself apron

hodgepodge in honor of my love for travel. some are wedding souvenirs only from dear friends

my little christmas tree that brought tears, a christmas gift, and an abraham lincoln children's book

someone to watch over me

my sole source of entertainment as i've no TV until now. for time-to-time pc maintenance, troubleshooting, and sometimes movie/tv show downloads

thanks, thanks, thanks lovelies...

the future and the need to save

2010-04-05T18:16:00.002+08:00

in the past months, i can't stop thinking about the future. while i don't know what will become of me in the next few days, years, I know for sure that i need to save for it. unfortunately, my fate in the love department is not quite promising. so, tally is still in favor of me being sinfully single. though a bit scary, i know i can deal with being old and alone. the key to dealing with that is to have money. yep, i need to have enough [or more] to pay for my needs and i'm projecting for salary of a help. my family is very nuclear. i don't have cousins that are really, really close to me. both my sister and brother don't have relationships [that i know of]. thus, i can't see nieces or nephews in the picture as well. so it's imperative that i begin to save for my future so i will have something to help me get by
when real old age and frailty come knocking at my door. now, the problems that i see in me saving for the future are these:

1) carpe diem - i've always believe in seizing the moment. usually, this entails spending money. now, if you save for the future, one has to reconsider this belief.

2) one can't take one's fortune to the grave - hehe, yeah there's a bit of illusion here somewhere. it's as if i can accumulate that great a fortune. i've this idea that one has to enjoy things as they happen. this sounds like item 1. what good will savings do to me if the next day i die? okay, morbid thought. but yeah, does it mean i let go of the present in favor of the future?

3) travel, travel, travel
- it's always this. i'm single. take travel out of the equation, my life would consist entirely of work and my pet house. no in betweens. it's only travel that brings excitement into the picture. though am a budget traveler, still, traveling involves money. so yeah, i can't do both even if i want to.

hmmm...writing all these makes me realize that i'm full of bullshit. one. i know that i really need to save. the things i just listed are pure excuses for my lack of discipline. my gut is telling me that i can do both. the only impediment to doing both is me having no discipline at all. anyway, enough putting down myself for the day.

i know what's the best course of action. i just have to swallow that bit of pill called discipline. oh, there's also one called "frugal living". in fact, just read about how many billionaires continue to live frugally despite the wealth they've accumulated over the years.

phew!

2010-04-04T22:23:00.003+08:00

it's easter sunday and what did i do? nothing special as usual. woke up past nine in the morning. ate leftover pasta with del monte's carbonara sauce while i watched a few episodes of burn notice. then the rest of the day was all housework. cleaned my pet house and finally tackled my fresh laundry. i'd say it's a big accomplishment as i'm usually lazy and i managed to iron 30+ shirts, four jeans, and a few house clothes. like i said, nothing interesting. just wanted to note it down here so i'd be reminded that i can NOW actually do household work on my own. i used to just eat, sleep, and do nothing else when i lived with my parents. now that i'm living solo, i get to do these things. although not as good as my mother, i think still deserve a pat on the back.

internal debate

2010-04-03T13:27:00.002+08:00

Four days of no work. Yay, right? Only to a certain extent yay, unfortunately! I'm really grateful for the break, but what I'm not grateful for is the time it gives me to have so much thoughts. Knowing me, having the time to think isn't really healthy for my well-being. Primarily because I have the tendency to dwell on the negative more than the positive things in life. Anyhow, just to kill the lethargic and bored feeling i'll just humor myself by listing some of the thoughts running in my head at the moment. Well, really they're my way of avoiding the month-worth of fresh laundry waiting for me to iron them. Argh, i've been putting off doing the ironing of clothes, but looks like I've to do them today as I no longer have pressed clothes to wear come Monday, or even today or tomorrow, in case I've the urge to get out of Mactan.

to travel or to save
unlike other people, i don't have many things that get me excited except traveling. lately, however i've been debating on whether i should keep up with this penchant for traveling or be serious about saving for my future. unfortunately, i'm not rich. thus, i can't have both. it has to be one or the other. as i'm sinfully single and will be turning 31 come august, i can't also help but think about growing old alone. thus, there's the urge for me to save in order that i could continue to care for myself, or afford to hire help by the time real old age and frailty come into the picture.

europe
i know, i know. this goes against the idea of saving for the future. but somehow, i've convinced myself that i wont have a full life unless i've stepped on euroland. believe me, i know that it's irrational to think so. but it's what i believe at the moment. one korean once said that it'd be impossible for me to go there given my current salary. thus, the itch to go to europe is all the more great. barring that korean's comment, i truly want to visit that other side of the world and try i would. who knows? who knows the dream that he'd take me there would come true? life's full of possibilities, right?

investing in stocks
this is in line with the idea of growing old alone. i need to have money in case my fate doesn't change and i really end up alone. i know i'm not cut out for business, so earning money through business is out of the question. i'm well aware that continued employment won't get me rich. thus, there's sometimes the urge to try working abroad. so comes stocks. well, it does involve money too, but my sister came across one company that allows low-income earners to invest on stocks for as little as PhP5,000. now, i'd like to do this but currently my budget is held up by guess what? travel, hehe... in two weeks, i'd be flying to bangkok and in june to ilocos.

making choices
was watching loads of grey's anatomy and in one of the episodes, making choices was the main subject. in that episode, there was one waiter [approximately, in his 50s] who bribed a doctor to have his bed placed beside a woman's. the woman was about the same age as the waiter. this woman was a regular at the restaurant where the waiter works. for 15 years or so, the waiter was the woman's server from the time she first stepped inside the restaurant until she found another man and got married. all those years, the waiter had never summoned enough courage to tell his love for the woman. the woman, on the other hand, kept coming to the restaurant hoping that the waiter would say something until she made a choice. she met a guy and married him. it was while they were confined at the hospital that the woman heard for the first time what she knew all along [the waiter's love for her]. well, the waiter thought the woman was asleep when he told his story to the resident. meanwhile, the woman's husband was in surgery and his life was in critical condition. knowing this, there was a question on whether the woman would say something to the waiter in response to what she's heard. well, she did say something. she would have wanted the waiter to say something then. in fact, it was the reason she kept coming back to the restaurant. but since the waiter kept his peace, she made a choice. she made a choice and married the guy who did say something.

argh, making choices is foremost in my mind. i know what it is that i want. the question is, will making the choice be the right one for me? do i have enough stuff to make the choice? i know i can't wait for something that will never happen, but... yes, there are lots of buts and i don't think it's appropriate to discuss in public. [not that people read me, LOL!!]

missing

2010-03-11T14:33:00.003+08:00

something doesn't do wonders to the brain. as i mentioned in a previous post, we moved back to our old office in lahug. in as much as i like the building better than the one in banilad, the good thing about this old-new office ends there- it being a better building. the old-new office does not give me a good feeling at all. primarily because i've a lot of wonderful memories the first time we occupied the place. each day, i can't help but think of those good memories and each day i can't help but wish for the old to be back. in the ten months that we were away, a lot of things happened. perhaps this is just a case of wanting too much of the past that can never be reclaimed.

oh, really, really bad for my well-being.

hopefully, i'd be able to stop myself before blurting out the many things i really want to do and make a fool of myself.

weird night

2010-03-07T10:58:00.002+08:00

was what i had last night. see, i went home to labangon since my brother was home from diliman. anyway, as i vowed to go cheapskate in order to accommodate my travel plans, i took the jeepney to get myself back to mactan. i rode a 21B jeep from robinsons to get to hi-way mandaue. when we were somewhere in martirez in mabolo, our jeepney driver probably dozed off a bit because he was suddenly surprised to see a honda car in front of us. unable to hit the brake fast enough or avoid the car in front, it collided with a loud bang. the crashing sound was crazy. seriously, being on vehicles that got involved with crashes recently aren't doing good to my little brain. two weeks before, the cab i was in was rear-ended near uclm, just off the old mactan bridge. except for feeling a bit dazed for hitting my forehead on the windshield/dashboard, there was no permanent damage. these days, i hate taking public transportation because i'm half-convinced that i'd figure in another accident. imagine two incidents in a span of two weeks? incredulous, right? but since there's no way i can go from point A to point B without taking public transportation, i just resort to really deep breathing and a prayer that my jeepney/trike rides will be very uneventful.

going back to the 21B crash, all the passengers had no choice but to get off the vehicle as there's no way the 21B jeep will drive away anytime soon. the honda car's rear was pretty banged up so a traffic police would have to be called in. well, since it was way past 10 pm, i didn't linger at the scene of the accident. i immediately hopped on the next vehicle heading to hi-way that i spotted. as soon as i got seated, i took on my phone to send an sms to someone to narrate about the incident. i meant to send the message that i found being on two accidents in a span of two weeks was really funny. funny in the sense that i thought the universe needn't have to let me experience car crashes to remind me of my mortality. well, before i could finish my message, i was surprised by someone passing by the jeepney i was in who hit/slapped my right arm. there was no other explanation except that the guy was just "tripping" and i unfortunately was the victim that night. i was so surprised that i only managed to blurt, "what was that?"... of course, the other passengers were surprised and unable to react possibly because of my reaction as well. but believe me, the guy hit my arm so hard that i could feel the tingling sensation right through my bone. take this, the incident happened somewhere in martirez mabolo and i stopped feeling the sensation on my arm only when i reached hi-way, mandaue. it was awful. good thing that i managed to hold back my tears, yup it was that hard and my automatic reaction was to cry. but like i said, i managed to hold it off as i just resorted to rubbing my arm to try to ease the tingling sensation.

like i said, weird night.

my makeover

2010-02-26T23:52:00.015+08:00

NOPE. I didn't have my eyebrows shaped nor did I get bangs or have my hair permed [i'm curious to have curly hair, but don't have enough guts to do so, hehe..].

my pet house did. however, this isn't a "new" makeover. when i created this blog, i intended to chronicle the things going on inside my little pet house and the thoughts that ran through my head while i'm here. but have never really been true to this blog's goal. so i'm going to remedy it starting with this little post, albeit this is late, but who's keeping tabs??

anyhow, you be the judge at my little attempt at room makeover. how do i fare?

this is how my unit looked like when i first got the keys of the property

this is what i changed it to..

1) room color - i forgot the exact paint color. i picked a vibrant color as i'd be living alone. this is a happy color for me.

2) book shelf - very first piece of furniture i bought so my books will have their proper pedestal. the size was just right for the wall facing the front door.

3)replaced the aluminum sink with tiles

4)constructed a little counter/cooking area. as my space is quite small i had this custom-built to house my gas range and serve as my eating area. i thought a regular table will consume much needed space.

my really, really teeny kitchen

my then very empty living room

the space NOW after some additional fixtures

the black thingy is a step ladder i bought. rather than stow it away, i used it as a stand for my "supposedly" wall clock turned desk clock and some trinkets from friends.

well, this folks, is where i spend cooped up in mactan whenever i've no work and too lazy to venture out. and yup, your eyes have not deceived you. i really don't have a TV. i only have "faith" as my little companion [a.k.a. my little asus eee pc] and contrastingly too loud for its size altec lansing speakers for entertainment. and since i've been hit by the travel bug early on - i don't think i'll be getting myself TV anytime soon. well, a donation is greatly welcomed, hehe...

empty image

2010-02-24T14:02:00.000+08:00

the page on my screen shows an article about the history of pseudonym. on the upper right corner of the screen, there's an ad of a book. the book is entitled "look at me now."

hmmm...the title gave me pause. i got distracted by it. look at me now. it got me thinking. what will people see see when they look at me? what could possibly run in other people's minds when they look at me? what do i want people to see when they look at me?

as i pound on the keys of my keyboard, i'm becoming aware that my mind is empty. it doesn't have a specific picture of what it is that i want people to see when they look at me. could that non-existing picture be a problem? but a problem as regards to what? hmmm...

another case of my mental wanderings... i tend to do more of this lately. i wonder why.

just wondering

2010-02-22T14:36:00.001+08:00

it amazes me how the human brain can conjure "what if" scenarios. most often, the scenarios are grim. they are so horrible that most of the time the person becomes paralyzed by fear. if the brain has this much capability to think of different scenarios, why is it that the tendency of most people is to think those which are very negative? why is it so hard to think of the positive things in the spectrum? if it's possible to believe that much negativity, how come believing in the positive with equal force takes a lot of effort?

changing perspective

2010-02-16T12:08:00.002+08:00

over the past years, i've had negative thoughts about my future. the thoughts range from growing old alone, seeing him with a wife and kids, to new sickness that seems to sprout one after the after. generally, thoughts of a grim future due to my beautiful u problem. i'm not proud to have had these thoughts. but they did occur to me especially when i let my mind loose.

then last feb. 10 - i attended a healing mass conducted by fr. fernando suarez. in his homily, he talked about 'perspective'. i don't know if it was coincidence or divine intervention but his talk about perspective gave me the creeps. see, i have a college friend whom i keep on advising to "get perspective" on her situation. to look at her life differently and see things in an entirely different light. then there was fr. suarez talking about 'perspective' like i said. i felt God used fr. suarez to deliver my own message of "perspective' to ME. it was as if, i needed fr. suarez to say those words so that i too may believe and heed my own advice. i'm guilty to having a perspective of a gloomy future, alone and sick. when i listened to fr. suarez' homily, a realization hit me: all these years, i've considered myself as one sickly person. a person with one little symptoms after another - the kind that doesn't stop. i've never treated myself as one healthy human being. i've always thought of myself as physically weak. so yeah, it hit me. i should change this perspective. i should think of being healed, feeling the healing occurring in every cell of my body now, and basically leading a normal pain-free life. this much i know. it will be difficult for me to do, especially if my symptoms manifest - but i'd like to think things differently. it may sound crazy and preposterous, but each day i will say this mantra, "my body is healing now. i am healed." perhaps the number of times i will say these will allow me to believe about the possibility of things.

====
back in my early twenties, my perspective was: there's infinite possibilities out to be discovered. sickness happened and my perspective was changed. i lost the girl who believe in ALL good things about life. i'm no longer a twenty-something person, but i hanker to have her back. so yeah, i'll start thinking about a beautiful future for me. again, it will be difficult, but i will definitely try.

moving out thoughts

2010-02-16T12:01:00.001+08:00

by month's end, we will be returning to our old office back in lahug. apart from i'd be spending more on fare when we return to lahug, i am really not excited about the move. foremost, i don't like the owners of the building. thankfully, i don't have to deal with them. but the ultimate reason i dread returning to the old place is because i've had good memories [also sad] back there.

it was there that i learned that i could really be brave amidst possible humiliation. i learned that i could uphold the truth even if it's something that's difficult to do. from that lesson on truth and courage, i found a friend in one person. we don't have a special relationship. ours is not a relationship between couples in love. it's just different. it has no label and it doesn't have a future. yet, we're okay with it. it's in that place that i've had long talks with him. it was there that we enjoyed sharing food, good laughs, and all things connected to our little lives. a big part of what i know of him and what he knows of me took place there. it is for all these reasons that i dread returning to the old place. i'm definite that the memories will be replaced. they won't be the same as the ones i've had a few months back. oh well, such is life.

V Day!!

2010-02-12T17:06:00.001+08:00

yay, valentine's day! another vday to pass without ever experiencing it. it's expected actually as i'm sinfully single even at my age of 30. haha, a part of me wishes to experience how it is to wooed on this supposed day of love. i know it'll be great to receive flowers or chocolates - haha, even if choclits trigger my migraine. [i didn't realize until now that i had it in me to actually go for the mushy stuff -- LOL!!! interesting] but it'll be a novel experience. anyhu, fact remains that the coming vday will be another ordinary day for me. perhaps, i'll be doing laundry then - haha. but universe, if you must know - it's okay if you will change things differently this year. [haha, rolling with laughter!!!]

advance happy valentine's everyone!