Clear the clutter. The Chinese art of Feng Shui deals with the flow of chi (energy) through a space. If your bedroom doesn’t feel like a sanctuary, it could be related to stagnant chi. Clear the clutter from the space to permit chi to flow freely and make sure there is room on both sides of the bed to walk. Do not store anything under the bed.

Get rid of negative energy. Negative energy may be related to past lovers or arguments with your present mate. Open windows, wash the linens and “air out” the room. Light a sweet-scented candle; strawberry is known to be an aphrodisiac. Some people recommend burning sage to “cleanse” a space.

A second-hand bed – or one you slept in with another lover — may contain “ghosts” of the past in the form of negative energy. Buy a new bed if possible, one that belongs exclusively to you and your lover.

Reduce family influence in the bedroom. Who wants to have sex with a picture of Grandma staring down at you? If you put any pictures in the bedroom, make sure they are happy photos of you and your lover. No parents, no children, no friends. In an extreme case of this mistake, a friend of mine kept an urn with her mother’s ashes in the bedroom. She said it didn’t bother her until my husband pointed it out… but still…

Shut work out (and no workouts, either). Books, paperwork and a desk in the bedroom make it hard to rest, relax – or do much of anything else a bedroom is designed for. Keep anything work-related out of the bedroom to promote an atmosphere of rest and romance. And that exercise bike or weight bench? Unless you’re using it as a prop for sex, put it in another room.

Not too feminine… or masculine. Pink frills and lace are cute for a little girl’s room, but they might make a male lover feel self-conscious. Likewise, a room that is too masculine in its design doesn’t inspire romance. Find a balance with colors like red, coral or deep pink. Blue is a restful color for a good night’s sleep, but balance blue hues with bright red sheets or accessories for passion.

If you’re single and looking for love…

Make space. Does your bedroom have “space” for a lover? Is your bed large enough for two and do you keep the half you don’t sleep in clear? Stocking your bed with stuffed animals, pillows or – worse – dolls from your childhood sends the message there’s no space in your life for a significant other. Some people even go so far as to keep half their closet and dresser drawers empty.

Get a set. A set – meaning a pair – of anything works well in the bedroom. Couple accessories such as lamps, knick-knacks, even nightstands to send the message that the bedroom is a space built for two.

Don’t forget your toys! Single or attached, make sure you have a special space in your room – away from prying eyes – to store your sex toys, lubes and accessories. Whether you put them in a cedar chest or a hat box in the closet, exploring the contents of your toy box should be a ritual wrought with excitement.

And if you decide to hang that sex swing, make sure it’s well-supported by a beam to avoid an embarrassing trip to the emergency room.

Follow these tips to gently add a new element to your love life.

1.    Start small. We mean this literally and figuratively. The 9-inch long, extra-thick vibrating cock may intimidate your man a little. He might be less than enthused to hear it’s got 10 different speeds of vibration, pulsation and gyration. Most men only want to find that many buttons on the remote that controls their electronics equipment, not your you-know-what.

Begin with a slimline vibe that looks nothing like the real thing. Lady Calston’s Feel Good Slim Vibe can help create a great first experience for him or her.

2.    Seek the straight and narrow. Similarly, steer clear of anything that looks like a cock.

3.    Don’t let on that you’re a pro. When you first open your toy box, your man may want to know just how much action your collection has seen. Just smile seductively and say, “I use them now and then.” Deep in the back of your mind, you may know he masturbates daily, but that doesn’t mean you want to think about it. Neither does he.

4.    Demonstrate for him. If your partner seems uncomfortable or unsure what to do, give him a demo. And make it a real show. We promise you he will be so turned on, he’ll do anything you want after that.

5.    Use toys for two. Some clitoral vibes are great to use during intercourse. Your man won’t feel like he’s left out of the equation, and he’s sure to love the resonating vibrations, too. The We Vibe, for instance, is designed specifically for a man and woman to use together.

6.    Discuss it outside the bedroom. You can drop hints about toys you’d like to use by taking your man shopping – online, of course! Surf the Web with him one night and point out some of Vibrator.com’s more interesting, couple-friendly products. Chances are, he’ll be intrigued. If he seems lukewarm to the concept, start a dialogue. “I think these would be fun to use; what do you think?” During an honest discussion, he can air any misgivings and you can reassure him, or at least share your point-of-view.

7.    Toys for him. In some ways, introducing cock rings and pumps might be easier. After all, you merely have to tell him how good it will feel. What man doesn’t want more powerful orgasms and stronger sensations during sex?

8.    What about vibes for him? Once you’ve both gotten used to using vibrators together, he may get curious about experience the vibrations from a closer perspective. Or maybe you will be the one to suggest it.

Use plenty of lube for anal penetration and go slowly. Request that he communicates with you; let him set the pace.

Does color matter? If you think your guy will have hang-ups about something pink, purple or girly, go with a neutral color. On the other hand, some men won’t care at all.

Whatever toy you use, make sure to clean and sterilize it thoroughly before going from ass to vagina. It’s best to keep two separate toys on hand for these purposes if you plan to use vibes for anal and vaginal penetration during a single session. Who wants to get up and clean toys in the middle of sex?

The staff of Vibrator.com has painstakingly picked our favorite men’s sex toys, from cock rings to personal masturbators. Of course, we recommend these Father’s Day gifts for the man – or men — in your life who isn’t actually your father. That would just be weird.

1. The Fleshlight Masturbator – Vibrator.com’s most popular toy for men, hands-down,  the Fleshlight masturbator features an interchangeable masturbation sleeve in a case that looks like a large flashlight. If women can have vibrators disguised as lipstick tubes or cell phones, why can’t men have appropriately discrete toys, as well? The sleeve is manufactured from patented Real Feel Superskin for a soft, realistic sensation and the phthalate-free material is safe and hygienic. The only drawback I see is that it won’t be much help on the nightstand in the event of a blackout – on second thought, it would probably be perfect in that situation.

2. Colt Power Stroker – Can a sex toy get any more manly than the “Colt Power Stroker?” In case the name doesn’t scream “tough,” this sexy, ribbed suction shaft is also shaped like a hand grenade. Inside, though, it’s all soft, super-stretchy Futurotic, which forms a tight little anus with ribbing for added pleasure and a tight-vacuumed suction shaft to make the experience even better. Like the Fleshlight, this toy is relatively discrete – that is, if you’re the type of person who can easily explain why there’s a hand grenade on your dresser.

3. Maven Masturbator – This reasonably priced masturbation sleeve comes to you from Vibratex, makers of the legendary Rabbit Pearl and Rabbit Habit toys. With a seven inch shaft and a textured entrance for immediate and prolonged stimulation, plus rows of raised nubs inside, this fun sleeve is a great introduction to masturbators for your favorite man.

4. Beginner Cock Ring – Tantus, well-known for quality dildos, vibes and other sex toys, has introduced a stretchy silicone cock ring. Easy-to-use and not intimidating, Tantus hails their newest offering as the perfect “beginner” cock ring. Two inches in diameter and super-stretchy, the cock ring warms up quickly to body temperature for a comfortable experience. The silicone is hygienic and easy to sanitize in the dishwasher or in boiling water.

5. Lasso Cock Ring - Every man wants to think of himself as a wild animal that must be tamed, so why not get your guy a Lasso? This easy-to-use adjustable cock ring from Cal Exotics makes a low-priced gift that promises an evening of fun.

6. Dr. Joel’s Penis Pump – If you’re looking for an exciting new adventure in the bedroom, a penis pump may give your man the lift he craves. A penis pump increases the cock’s size temporarily (some say permanently) and creates a stimulating suction effect. This high-quality pump from trusted sex toy manufacturer Doc Johnson features a state-of-the-art quick release valve and an industrial grade hose. The tapered cylinder measures nine inches long with a 2 ¼-inch opening. Manufactured from ultra-clear polished acrylic with a flared base that doesn’t need a gasket for the right fit, this comfortable pump includes a pressure gauge to help maintain consistent suction pressure.

For instance, I like to watch Monday night sitcoms. With Allison Hannigan co-starring in How I Met Your Mother and Kaley Cuoco as the hot blond Penny in Big Bang Theory, the scenery’s good.

A recent episode of Rules of Engagement, which proceeds my usual Monday night TV viewing but just happened to suck me in this particular night, gave me a good laugh. Here’s the elevator pitch description if you don’t follow the show: it’s about the lives and antics of two couples — one married, one engaged — and their single, stereotypical wanna-be ladies’ man friend played by David Spade.

In this particular episode, one of the women hosted a sex party. You know, one of those where the girls get together and buy over-priced sex toys and lingerie that never really fits anyone once they get it home.

I just got rid of the $80 slinky black “dress” (okay, more like a negligee) hanging in my closet that, after too many glasses of White Zin and near-satanic goading from my friends, seemed like a wonderful investment.

But I digress –

The ladies attended this sex toy party and the men were quite worried. “Does my woman need toys in the bedroom? Is our sex life too boring?”

One particularly amusing scene involved the husband barging into the bedroom upon hearing tell-tale buzzing– to find his wife brushing her teeth with an electric toothbrush.

This whole thing got me thinking. What is it about vibrators that some men find so threatening?

Obviously, some men feel they are falling short (so to speak) in the sex department if their partner desires stimulation from a toy. They wonder what they’re doing wrong or why they aren’t “enough” for their partner – both in the very physical sense of not being large enough and in the sense of not being able to satisfy their partner for any reason, whether it’s size, technique, or something else all together.

Some men even go so far as to compare themselves physically to the toy. This gets into the realm of Really Silly when you look at certain sex toys designed partly for shock value and partly for those adventurous ladies (and men) looking to try something different once in a while. But let’s be realistic: How many women really want a 16-inch dildo up there every single night?

Comically large rubber penises aside, guys, there are plenty of things flesh-and-blood men give us that a sex toy can’t. Our Ambitious Beaver rabbit vibe  can’t take out the garbage or hang that shelf in the foyer, for instance.

But we’re talking sex here. A vibrator in the right hands may be efficient, but no matter how many different functions of pulsation, vibration and rotation it has, it’s still essentially the same thing every time. It’s a machine. Literally. Sure, a vibrator can send a woman to never-before-experienced levels of ecstasy, but it’s almost too easy.

A real man fumbles, makes mistakes, tries again, eventually gets it right. He explores our bodies and responds to our moans and squeals, hopefully in a way we enjoy. Couples who’ve been together a while are hopefully proficient, but you can still experiment to keep things exciting.

Using a vibrator during lovemaking is another way to keep things from getting boring, BUT, if your wife does want to introduce a vibrator into your bedroom routine, it doesn’t necessarily mean sex is boring without it.

There’s also the give-and-take of sex with a real person. Women, by nature, are nurturers. We want to give you pleasure to you as much as you rejoice in pleasuring us – maybe even more so. We simply don’t get the pleasure of giving when it comes to our battery-operated toys.

We can’t kiss a vibrator lovingly, rub its muscular shoulders, enjoy a cuddle after the main attraction. Masturbation with a vibrator relieves tension and yes, it makes us feel great, but it tends to get lonely.

If sex with real men has so many benefits, why do women even want to play with sex toys at all? They’re powerful. They’re efficient. And when you just want to get fucked good, hard, and fast, with multiple speeds of vibration to make sure it’s done right, they do an unparalleled job.

What’s even more fun than playing with a toy is sharing this amazing sexual event with a partner — combining the purely physical, sexual act with the sensual and erotic experience of lovemaking.

Guys, when we add another vibrator to our toy box, it doesn’t mean we want you any less or that there’s a sexual need of ours you aren’t fulfilling. In fact, we’d love for you to give us a hand with our latest machine!

The teen auctioned off her virginity for 8000 British pounds. That’s just shy of 13,000 American dollars – a decent sum for one night of “work!” Even nicer, Percea said she had a great time with the 45-year-old Italian businessman, and would see him again, without charging him.

Then the government had to step in and ruin a good thing. Prostitution is legal in Germany, so that wasn’t the issue. But prostitutes pay a 50 percent tax on their earnings. Additionally, because the teen earned so much money in one night, she could get hit with a VAT (Value Added Tax) bill, too, which would typically be collected from the customer. She’d end up with not even $5,000 USD for her entrepreneurial efforts.

Of course, the government may end up losing out on the deal, too, if the businessman – as so many do – decides to find some way to justify the expense in that lovely little gray area of a business “entertainment” write-off.  I’m no expert on German tax law – and I have an accountant so I don’t even have to be an expert on US tax law – but I’m pretty sure you can deduct at least 50 percent of any business entertainment expenses, which means the money the government took out of young Percea’s hands would go straight back to the customer who spent it in the first place. I guess it’s another instance of the rich getting richer because, really, do you know many people who have $13,000 lying around to pay for sex?

A few other observations, courtesy of a close friend of mine, name withheld because he has no idea I’m quoting him on a sex blog, but I’m pretty sure he’d think it was cool.

- “Why would anyone pay $13,000 for a virgin? If I’m paying that much for sex, I want someone with some experience, who knows what she’s doing already.”

- “Why would anyone pay $13,000 for a virgin? I’ve bedded two and all it cost me was dinner and drinks.”

My friend (who is bi) then confessed he’d give up his ass-cherry for $13,000 but not for the paltry sum of $5,000, unless he was going to do it anyway, in which case, the cash would be a nice bonus.

Yours truly then began to consider what she might give up – and realized she’s got no cherries left to offer. Maybe a kinky S&M experience or two if the price were right?

My friend and I both realized there’s very little we’d want to do for $5,000 if we weren’t planning on doing it anyway. For most people, an extra $5,000, while it would be nice to have, wouldn’t exactly mark a significant turning point in your life, while losing your virginity is a memory to treasure or regret. Granted, it can be a memory to treasure or regret whether you get paid for it or not, and, according to reports, Percea has no emotional or physical regrets whatsoever about the experience.

I can only hope the teen learned an important fiscal lesson, which will serve her well in all her future endeavors, sexual and otherwise. Always, always, always factor taxes into your hourly rates, because the government will take their cut. They always do.

Darling readers, please share your thoughts. What would you do for $5,000? What about $13,000 (tax-free)?

On May 26, California Supreme Court voted to uphold Proposition 8, which makes gay marriage once again illegal. However, the 18,000 couples who were married between May and November 2008, when a law passed stating that Prop 8 is unconstitutional, are still legally married in the eyes of the California courts.

So if you are a gay or lesbian couple in California who got cold feet at the altar – you’re out of luck for now. He who hesitates is lost (hopefully only temporarily).

An article in the Christian Science Monitor reports Chief Justice Ronald George as writing that only the term “marriage” is withheld, and same-sex couples in a civil union will have the same rights as married heterosexual couples. Essentially, he’s implying the “spirit” of marriage will remain for gay couples – just not the terminology.

It feels like an empty victory, if it can be called any “victory” at all. Language is powerful and to offer gay and lesbian couples the same rights in a civil union as married  heterosexual couples enjoy smacks of unconstitutional segregation. Didn’t we (i.e., the United States) determine in the 60s that “separate but equal” isn’t really equal at all?

From an economic standpoint – which I’ve talked about before – at least the GLBT community receives the same financial benefits as straight married couples. But same-sex couples have made it abundantly clear that their argument is not about money, but about love and equality.

Meanwhile, with the latest ruling, the state of California loses any financial benefits of simply upholding Prop 8 and not recognizing any sort of legal union for same-sex couples. Maybe I was wrong and it’s not always about money – at least not entirely?

For reasons unfathomable to me in the liberal state of California, the decision seems to be more about preserving the so-called religious sanctity of the word (and concept of) marriage. Which brings us back to a very compelling argument about separation of church and state.

At this point, your happily married, mostly-heterosexual blogger – who really isn’t affected in either way by the whole argument other than as a human being and an American who believes in civil rights for all – just wants to throw up her arms in disgust and shout that either way you slice it: “Proposition 8 is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!”

I’m not alone in that sentiment, either. Following the ruling, protest rallies and marches ensued in 100 major cities across the country. One of the largest took place in New York, beginning at Sheridan Place and ending in Union Square. City Council Speaker Christine Quinn implored the 1000-person crowd to lobby the state senate for gay marriage to be legalized in New York.

Iowa, Vermont, and Maine recently voted to legalize gay marriages, joining Massachusetts, where same-sex marriages have been legal since 2004.

I understand this is an extremely serious matter and we can only hope that public opinion and the GLBT community will once again sway lawmakers into legalizing gay marriage again – in California and in the remaining states. I can practically feel the frustration of Californians after all they’ve been through in fighting for their rights. But to end this post on a lighthearted note, I thought I would share this witty – and I hope facetious! — blog post about why gay marriage *isn’t* fair to straight couples, especially brides-to-be!

The video crosses the line into Really Explicit when we see a tiny head pop out from between the screaming girl’s legs. The video, shot with an iPhone camera, promotes a docu-drama series, launching June 1, on the Web site HeyBabe.co.uk. HeyBabe (Be Aware Be Educated) is a site run by NHS (National Health Services) Leicester to provide support and information to sexually active teens in Leicester, England.

The video closes with the words: “Not what you expected? Being a teenage parent might not be either.”

YouTube banned the video a mere 24 hours after NHS Leicester posted it, saying it was a violation of their terms of service, which prohibits the show of gratuitous violence.

Oddly, Youtube then allowed the same video, branded with information about the docu-drama series it promotes tacked onto the end, to remain on their site. The video also still airs at HeyBabe.com.

Representatives from NHS Leicester Trust said they filmed the video because previous marketing tactics of pamphlets and posters weren’t getting the attention of teens and teen pregnancy is running rampant in Leicester, with one out of every 20 girls, ages 15 to 17, pregnant.

So what’s the problem with the viral video?

I have a number of problems with the video. If you’re going to shock teens into paying attention – and I’m all for that – don’t do it with misinformation and melodrama. Viewing the bloody scene may scare teens out of the thought of giving birth; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it terrifies nearly any woman of childbearing age who may happen upon the video. I’m definitely glad it came out after I gave birth! Considering the video’s been viewed more than 72,000 times (and counting), and has attracted the attention and ire of the mom blogger community, I wonder how many women have already made panicked calls to their moms, friends, sisters or ob/gyns?

But childbirth doesn’t have to be like that at all – not for a young teen or for anyone. Rather than scaring a teen out of having sex, it’s more likely to scare a teenage mother-to-be straight into a scheduled c-section. And that’s not really a desirable option – not for the pocketbook of the health care system, the mother’s well-being, or the infant, for that matter.

Teenagers are impulsive, “instant gratification” types and while the video may temporarily scare them out of ever wanting to have children, I don’t think it will scare them out of having sex. It might not even scare them enough that they will remember to use protection.

However, it’s important to remember the video is only one part of a larger campaign. And NHS Leicester admitted the video was designed to get teens’ attention. In that regard, it has succeeded.

It will be interesting to follow the rest of the marketing campaign and view the docu-drama when it launches. It will be even more interesting to compare teen pregnancy rates after the docu-drama has made the rounds.

I commend NHS Leicester for trying to tackle a very difficult problem. As a natural childbirth advocate, I just wish they had been a bit more responsible in doing so.

Aquarius Hydro-powered Underwater Massager, $21 - A rabbit massager? That’s waterproof? And multi-speed? All for just $21? Okay, enough with the questions… You know the answer! And with all these features, it’s no wonder the 5.25-inch long Aquarius from Cal Exotics is one of our most popular rabbit vibes! The removable soft jelly sleeve has nubbies for pleasure and features the clit tickler rabbits are known for. The soft jelly sleeve is extremely comfortable and also easy to clean. Plus, you can use the matte finish plastic shaft on its own as a straight vibe, so you’re getting two toys for the price of one.

I Rub My Duckie, $21 – This unique looking waterproof massager has multiple surfaces to keep things interesting in the tub, pool, or Jacuzzi. Plus, you can store it in plain sight in your bathroom and it will blend in as part of the scenery. This cute little rubber duckie is perfect for clitoral pleasure. Plus, it’s practically silent.

G-Spot Dream Massager, $20 – This g-spot massager has many of the same features as much more expensive models. It offers multiple speeds, gyrating motion, and whisper-quiet operation. Made from soft Rubber-cote and measuring a full 7 inches long, this toy packs a lot of pleasure into a low, low price.

Colt Waterproof Anal T Vibrator, $21 – It’s hard to find remote control vibes –especially anal vibes – for a low price. But the Colt Waterproof Power Anal T, measuring 5.25” from the base, is a great value for the money, and is new here at Vibrator.com. The remote control lets you power through four different speeds of vibration, while the rubber coating promises a smooth insertion. The unique T-shape makes it easy to hold and insert, and the shaft is slanted for better ergonomics. The manly black color makes this a great gift to give your guy, and he’ll never know you paid so little!

Wireless Clit Flicker Stimulating Cock Ring, $20 –Vibrator.com’s best-selling cock ring is available for just $20—batteries included! This soft jelly ring fits most cocks, so you can save regardless of how well-endowed you are. Reviewers have used it orally, anally and vaginally with orgasmic results every time. The wireless stimulator simulates tongue action to give you both hours of pleasure for one low price.

Money may be tight, but there’s no reason to skimp on pleasure or let your toy box get dull. Freshen up your collection with one of these fun finds. One reviewer said of the Clit Flicker cock ring that it “changed [their] sex life forever.” Now isn’t that worth about 20 bucks?

In a prior post, we explored the medical and colloquial definitions of a fetish. But what if your partner has a fetish that isn’t exactly hampering his ability to function as a normal individual, but it makes you long for the days when sex was just, well, a little bit of foreplay, then penetration? No props, cameras, vinyl, rubber, leather, lace, balloons, puppets… you get the picture.

Is It a True Fetish?

Experts consider a fetish any sexual obsession that interferes with a person’s ability to function normally in work and social settings. But sometimes, when one partner has a fetish the other person doesn’t share, it can affect your sex life in a negative way – even if you previously enjoyed sharing in the fetish activity.

In fact, when a partner indulges their significant other in a fetish, that fetish can grow stronger until it turns into a problem for both parties. If your partner can’t get aroused without thinking about or using the fetish object, by all means, seek professional help or couples counseling.

If your partner can get aroused without the object, but chooses not to, he may not realize it’s grown stale for you. Chances are, you’ll be able to work things out on your own, without professional intervention. As with any other aspect of sex, communication is the key.

Remember, It’s Not You

Partners coerced into fetish activities often begin to feel they aren’t adequate on their own. “He only wants me for my feet!” might be a common complaint.

First, remember that his fetish has nothing to do with you. Even if it hasn’t turned into a full-blown addiction that requires treatment, it’s about the object, not about you. If he can’t get turned on without the object, that is because of him, not your level of attractiveness. If he can… then it’s time to talk to him about doing so every so often.

Conversation-starters

First, stress to your partner that you don’t want to abandon his fetish completely, but you’d like to try something that turns you on more every once in a while.

Suggest, kindly and when you’re outside the bedroom: “Would it be okay if we tried sex without [fetish object] once in a while, just for something different?”

Don’t be afraid to ask for the reassurance you need. Ask him straight out if he still finds you attractive. If he has a foot fetish, for instance, ask him to compliment other body parts, even if you have to fish for the compliments. Wear clothing emphasizing other body parts and then ask a question like, “Doesn’t this thong make my ass look tight?” Hopefully, he’ll get the idea that you want to focus on another body part for a change.

Transfer the “Object of Transfer”

A fetishist transfers his sexual feelings onto a specific, typically non-sexual, object. If the so-called fetish  is not so much about the fetish object, but about doing something daring, different and socially unacceptable in the bedroom, change it up.

If your partner is infatuated with dirty talk, try making a video instead. If he’s into being blindfolded, see if he’d be game to try being tied up instead. If he doesn’t have a true fetish by the clinical definition, but merely craves excitement and is turned on by taboo acts, he shouldn’t mind trying something different. Maybe he’s just fallen into a kinky rut and needs to explore other creative sex acts.

Fetishes, like any non-mainstream sex acts, aren’t inherently good or bad, but when one partner stops finding enjoyment in it, it’s time to pause and re-assess your sex life. It doesn’t mean you’re not good together as a couple, it just means you need to work on some aspects of your relationship. And who doesn’t?

However, many people use a fetish to describe any “unusual” and recurring sexual behavior. It doesn’t interfere with the person’s job or social life, and may even enhance a couple’s sex life.

History of the Fetish

The word fetish, by most accounts, originates from the Portuguese word “Feitico” meaning “false” and refers to the transfer of power from one object to a substitute. For instance, rather than being turned on by an entire woman, her sexual power is transferred only to her breasts, or feet, or lingerie she’s wearing.

Some experts claim fetishes are established from incidents that take place while masturbating during puberty. The person becomes fixated on object which is not normally associated with sex (in other words, you can’t actually have a vibrator fetish!) in order to become aroused.

That may be true about actual, clinical fetishes that interfere with a patient’s life. What people commonly refer to as “fetishes,” – non-vanilla sexual preferences – more likely come about due to a sense of sexual adventure, experimentation, and the desire to keep things exciting in the bedroom.

Is it a Problem?

Do you have an actual fetish or just a preference? If you can get aroused without using, seeing or even thinking about the object or body part, it’s merely a preference. If you absolutely need it for sex, it’s a fetish.

Whether you should get treatment depends on if it’s preventing you from functioning normally—in and out of the bedroom. If you have a fetish and an understanding partner more than happy to humor your fetish, keep it up (so to speak).

Types of Fetishes

Many different fetishes exist, and we covered some of the more unusual ones in the post “They Like What?” But all fetishes fall into one of three categories:

Media: A media fetish emphasizes the material of an inanimate object. Like leather, lace, rubber, latex or silk? That’s a media fetish.

Form: A form fetishes focuses on the shape of an object rather than its texture. A balloon fetish is both a form and media fetish, while an attraction to high heels is purely a form fetish. Casting, for the person viewing the cast, would be a form fetish, while for the wearer, it is a media fetish.

Animate: Any fetish involving living things or even body parts, from hamsters to human feet, is considered animate.

Askmen.com published a list, based on a reader survey, of the top ten most popular fetishes. The top five?

1. Voyeurism & exhibitionism

2. Golden showers

3. Water

4. Braids, ponytails and pigtails

5. Fingernails and lipstick

We’ll explore these and other fetishes in future posts. What’s your favorite fetish?