People Pleasers are Selfish because they…

• Tend to make everything about themselves. Need some convincing on this one? Start by recalling all the times you apologized for things that couldn’t possibly be your fault. Like your spouse running late to an appointment or for not taking part in a work project that you weren’t even directly asked to participate in. Or maybe you spend a lot of time wringing your hands wondering if someone, even a stranger, is upset over something you may unknowingly have said or done?
• Are inclined to give only to get. Deep down inside a people pleaser believes doing for others buys them something. They usually expect to be rewarded for their kindness, mostly by appreciation, praise or security.
• Seldom, if ever, let others experience the joy of giving money or gifts or let others feel better about themselves by asking and letting them help.
• They hardly ever consider the long-term impact of what they say or do. They’re not interested in how their actions may affect someone else’s well-being down the road as long as it keeps the peace now. A people pleaser, for example, will give the boss exactly what he or she asked for, even if they know it’s not going to help the business advance. A people pleaser will encourage a friend to continue pursuing that unhealthy diet regimen because he or she believes it’s what their friend wants to hear.
• Would lie to avoid the consequences. An example would be lying when your husband asks if you went shopping to avoid his 5 minute lecture.
• Neglect people who love them to please strangers who really don’t care.
• Can carry on a relationship without actually involving the other person with things like, “I know what you will say” and “If I did this I know you will do that.”
• Let others make their decisions so they don’t have to take responsibility for them.
• Overpromise and then rarely communicate that they are running behind.
• Strongly believe they can do tasks faster and better than anyone else so they don’t give anyone a chance. Sharing their knowledge and teaching others how to do it well seldom enters their mind.
• Want to enable and fix everyone else’s lives but have little desire to fix their own.

If you got this far then one or more of those points must have clicked. Sometimes it takes looking at your worst fear and realizing its staring back at you to overcome this nasty habit of the need to please.

Other info on chronic niceness by Vickie Champion you might be interested is:

The Darkside of People Pleasing

Signs you Need to Stop People Pleasing at Work

6 Thing Women People Pleasers Don’t Realize

Disadvantages of Hiring People Pleasers

Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers

Top 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser

52 Traits of a Chronic People Pleaser

19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing

 
To stop the habit of being too nice, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

So here it is as bold and in your face as I can make it…

People Pleasers…

1 Want to be “liked” so much because they absolutely loathe themselves. They are constantly criticizing themselves with every move they make, all repeating this common theme “I’m never good enough no matter what I say or do.”
 
2  Can be extremely dishonest and think nothing of lying to your face, all to avoid the possibility of rejection, disapproval, disappointment and being abandoned.  
 
3  Can easily attract and stay in abusive relationships.
 
4  Have a tendency to be very selfish. See my blog “How People Pleasers are Selfish.”
 
5 Tend to surround themselves with mates, relatives, friends, employers, co-workers, and customers that take advantage of their “niceness,” and have very little, if any respect for them as a person.

6 Have a strong need to feel superior to the victims they choose to rescue and console.
 
7  Would rather be negative and worry themselves sick, and dream up possible nightmarish situations  than be optimistic and focus on happy outcomes.
 
8  Are haunted by regrets and guilt.
 
9  Tend to give only to eventually get. They can easily become angry and resentful when they don’t receive either companionship or appreciation in return.
 
10  Could care less about how anything they say or do affects anyone in the long term. As long as everyone is happy and it keeps the peace now, who cares what happens down the road?
 
This nightmare of a people-pleasing lifestyle, is something you can wake up from. It is possible to reframe the way you look at your people-pleasing habits and to retrain your actions so your life is no longer something to be feared, but embraced.

 
Other info on chronic niceness by Vickie Champion you might be interested is:

Signs you Need to Stop People Pleasing at Work

6 Thing Women People Pleasers Don’t Realize

Disadvantages of Hiring People Pleasers

Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers

Top 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser

52 Traits of a Chronic People Pleaser

19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing

To stop the nasty habit of people pleasing and the need to be liked, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.
 

When you…

• Say yes to practically any task anyone needs done just to be “liked.”
• Wait to be offered a raise instead of asking for one.
• Work longer hours than almost everyone else.
• Allow fellow employees to interrupt and distract your focus constantly.
• Overprepare for meetings.
• Strongly believe that the longer and harder you work, the more they will appreciate you.
• Are comfortable functioning on overload.
• Have been bypassed for promotions but told they really value you in your current position.
• Ask for others opinions and direction on even the smallest tasks.
• Tend to rescue or make excuses for incompetent members of your team.
• Work on vacation days.
• Are getting physically ill from the long hours, stress and worry.
• Stay awake at night with stories you make up about “if I said and did this, they will say and do that.”
• Expect your boss, co-workers, and customers to appreciate you and your extra work.
• Have reviews that encourage you to be more aggressive, improve on decision making, and to be more confident.
• Are told the company will pay for a personal coach for you.

Your career goals and dreams matter. The only one who can make them happen is you. Being a People Pleaser, and putting the needs and expectations of others first may offer some immediate satisfaction. But it’s a fleeting illusion and it doesn’t lead to real joy, real peace.

Other info on chronic niceness by Vickie Champion you might be interested is:

6 Thing Women People Pleasers Don’t Realize

Disadvantages of Hiring People Pleasers

Advantages of Hiring People Pleasers

Top 10 Affirmations of a Chronic People Pleaser

52 Traits of a Chronic People Pleaser

19 Reasons to Stop People Pleasing

For more advice on being too nice, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 
Here’s my personal advice on how to have a better life, business, or career…

1 Try FULLY PARTICIPATING or really engage in whatever you find yourself doing. It’s taking everything you do whether it’s a relationship, work, or making a budget and really getting into it.
I really believe most of our misery and discontent comes from getting into the habit of half-assing it. 

2 HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. We have the choice whether to make any situation in our life, business or our career the worst thing that happened or the best that happened. It’s what we want to make of it.

3 Understand thePURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO LEARN TO LOVE, not to avoid what we don’t like.
I often hear my coaching clients saying they do love others, but it also means loving yourself  the good and the bad and learning to love everything else.

 
To see more inspiring video’s visit Vickie Champion’s YouTube Channel

 
If you want a better life, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary coaching and consulting session.

 
Here’s a summary of what is talked about in this video…
There are five areas of Small Business.

• Holding the Vision


• Finding Customers


• Implementation, which is doing the actual service or the making the product.


• Looking at the Numbers


• Building & Maintaining a Team

 
Even if one of the 5 areas of business is neglected than they ALL will come crashing down. They are all equally important.

• If you neglect HOLDING the VISION, you will have nothing to guide the business.


• If you neglect FINDING CUSTOMERS, you will go out of business.


• If you neglect IMPLEMENTATION, you will aquire angry customers who want refunds and will eventually leave.


• If you neglect the NUMBERS, there is nothing to measure your success or problem areas.


• If you neglect the maintaining and building a TEAM, you will either have a time management problem, become the bottleneck or burnout.
   

Your success depends on how fast you equalize your weakest areas!

To see more inspiring video’s visit Vickie Champion’s YouTube Channel

If you have any small business problems in these 5 areas, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary business coaching and consulting session.
 

Here Are Some Signs You Might be Laid off or Fired soon…

When you…

• Absolutely dread going into work and can't wait to leave.

• Complain about your job duties, your co-workers, your boss and the company to anyone who will listen.

• Notice yourself gaining weight, smoking like a chimney, or becoming deathly ill.

• Will take time off work for even the lamest reasons like getting a third estimate on a new hot water heater, or because your distant cousin needs a ride to work.

• Feel resentful or angry about anything work related. It could be your supervisor criticizing you, failure to get a promotion, not being recognized for your talent or your coworkers not being disciplined for their incompetence.

• Day dream about things you would rather be doing.

• Suffer physical symptoms like an anxiety attack, or knotted stomach when you think about starting another work week.

• Judge everything and everyone remotely related to your work.

• Can’t buy into company policies and procedures, especially the latest ones.

• Find yourself in conflict with your supervisor, other team members, or customers.

• Do the minimum amount of work. Be less than you can be.

• Feel a sense of relief when you think about not having to go into work on your days off.

• Have checked out -- you know, the “whatever” attitude.

If more than a couple of these sound familiar, it could signal that a change in job status is in your future. This is a GOOD THING. Recognizing through the intuitive signs that a particular job is no longer right for you, empowers you to start searching for a more fulfilling job and life.
 

To get more insights and advice on job hunting.
 
If you want to learn how to use your intuition finding a job, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary career coaching and consulting session.

To see more inspiring video’s visit Vickie Champion’s YouTube Channel

 
If you have money problems, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary life coaching and consulting session.

To see more inspiring video’s visit Vickie Champion’s YouTube Channel

 
If you have money problems, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary life coaching and consulting session.

It’s a no-brainer to fire an inefficient, failing employee. What about an employee who has talent and who you believe might be the glue holding your small business together?
Tax consultant Cindy Dillard faced that question.
To answer it, she moved deeper into understanding her own fears and the dynamics of her office.

1. She examined her motives. Why didn’t she trust her gut and fire this person? One reason was that the employee did not do anything HUGELY wrong. It was a lot of little things. And if she fired that person, what would that make her? “I didn’t want to be perceived as a bad person,” Dillard said. 
Plus, she said, “I didn’t know if they were the glue who held me together or if I could function without them.”

2. She observed clients and employees. When this employee was in the room the energy shifted from positive to negative. Clients, too, were impacted by the toxic environment. Cindy came to understand that it was far scarier to think about what would happen if this employee didn’t leave, then to fire this person.

3. She set her intention. When it was time for the employee to go, Cindy talked with her business coach, said her affirmations and set her intention, saying, “I wanted everyone to win and it didn’t matter how that was going to happen.”
Having the courage to fire an employee who was a bad fit, not only changed the office, it changed Cindy.
She realized, “I didn’t need someone else to support me the way this employee had. I can handle anything and I’m not afraid to step into issue that might happen. I realized I can do this on my own.”

To get more information on running a business by Vickie Champion.

For more advice on firing an employee, contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary life coaching and consulting session.

To see more inspiring video’s visit Vickie Champion’s YouTube Channel

 
Contact Vickie Champion for a complimentary life coaching and consulting session.