Victim Of Desire

2008-02-07T21:27:00.000+05:30

Venus and Mars

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing mebecause she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows that I'm smarter than her.

2008-01-27T07:28:00.000+05:30

Resignation Letter

Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Today is my last day."

For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "meets expectation." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expectation cigar. Thanks Trish!

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to apologize to him.

To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you as poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in my career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work was truly demoralizing.

To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart. Bad mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when your talking about someone who knows your disgusting secrets. ; )

To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone. You threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from it. I still can't believe that after following your instructions, I ended up getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.

Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I'm happy that you were let go in the same manner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the phone last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never expected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of people but then again, with this company's rooted history in the slave trade it only makes sense.

To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such. Despite working through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I truly thank you for that. There was once a time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it's a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us "faceless little people" more. There are many great people that are being over worked and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the moral of this company.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary recipient ("because it's good for the company") in India or Tampa who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-worker and will cherish our history together. Please don't bother responding as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows down listening to Biggie.

One!

2008-01-17T22:26:00.000+05:30

Uncaptured Dreams

Confined in the corners of my heart,
Some dreams lie in hope.
Those were nurtured and cultured since ages,
They are the ramblings of my innocent mind.

From childhood to youth i grew,
My dreams became many from few.
They blossomed over my eyes,
My thoughts both old and new.

But now as i move towards maturity,
My innocence feels demure.
"Will my dreams ever come true?",
This insecurity creeps far and more.

Still, everyday when i wake-up,
My eyes add a new vision to my store.
On this day, with a new start,
"My Dreams will come true", I dream this even more.

2008-01-01T21:21:00.000+05:30

A Thought...

I for sure don't know your name. I
might never see your face again.
I know not what place you call home,
Whom you love or are all alone.

But was that you,
Whose grandfather and mine,
slogged together to earn a living
in what we today call"The stone age"?

Or , did i see you,
standing third in line,
as i endured boredom
to exercise my polling franchise?

As the tube beamed pictures,
and lights flickered on,
eyes set like me,
on the 8'o clock news
was that feature, your face?

You are not a stranger,
Are you?

2008-01-01T21:13:00.000+05:30

Two minutes..

Two minutes of laughter
Happy as a sky lark
Two minutes of grief
Life's all grim and dark

Two minutes of freedom
None can keep you confined
Two minutes of enigma
To baffel a straight mind

Two minutes of solitude
To introspect your life
Two minutes of humility
To wipe out all strife

Two minutes of admiration
And the world's at your feet
Two minutes of silence
When your journey's complete..

Credits: All praises goes to nohe other than my dear friend Suvarna.

2008-01-01T21:05:00.000+05:30

Love me toooooo...

“Love, love me too.
You know I love u
I’ll always be true
So, please, love me too”
-Beatles

Nah! I’m not a die-hard Beatles fan, nor can I claim to be an admirer of their kind of music. Infact, the first time I heard them wasn’t more than a fortnight ago, and I still can’t name all four of them. IF they were four!

I would, again, be wrong if I claimed that I fell in love with their songs the moment I heard them. As a matter of fact, their “please, love me too” had me retorting, “How desperate is that?”

Before you jump to conclusions, let me tell you that this is not about the Beatles; this isn’t about their music or about my opinion of them. It’s all about the “Please, love me too”

The thought lingers. Now I can’t really brush off the feelings these ‘oh! So honest’ words bring with them. Think of all those times these words could actually have been spoken and realize that they are perhaps the most difficult ones to say AND the most natural ones to think about.

‘Westlife’ aren’t one bit off-mark when they croon

“I’m too shy to ask
I’m too proud to loose
But sooner or later, I’ve got to choose
And once again, I’m thinking about
Taking the easy way out…”

The number of times your heart screams out, only, your tongue refuses to surrender and words remain unuttered. It’s funny how less often we tell people around us the love we feel for them, fearing a lack of response. It’s perhaps the fear of indifference or maybe just the narrow range of relationships we perceive the term “I love you” as being applicable to.

Then there are instances when this feeling of un-proclaimed love becomes so integral a part of the relationship; you hate to bring it out in the open. There’s this phone call. The voice at the other end says, “Love you!” and the spell is broken, the magic lost! That’s another chapter, of the same story though.

While my mind has been churning out these thoughts, the play list has moved forward and I can catch Paul (or is it George? Dunno which one of them) singing-

“I don’t care too much for money,
Money can’t buy me love…”

Yet again, I can’t but smile at the brutal honesty of their words.

I can visualize a certain female shaking her head and thinking, “Suvarna has gone crazy, she’s writing about LOVE??” and another male nodding in agreement, glad that I’ve come around to his school of thought. Period!

The Beatles continue-

“ All these lonely people,
Where do they come from?”

I think of a connection with the “Please, love me too” thing, or rather the lack of it. What say?

P.S: If you are curious about a certain “someone” in my life after reading this, don’t bother! You are missing the whole point of it.

But anyways,
“Please, love me too”

; )

Credits: The above article has been the brain child of one of my dear friend Suvarna. Would request you to please direct your generous thoughts to this lovely friend of mine :)

2006-11-28T13:56:00.000+05:30

An affair to remember!

Before joining i-flex: "Jald hi mera waqt badalne wala hai"
On Joining i-flex: "Mera Waqt badal raha hai"
After Joining i-flex: "Mera waqt wakai main badal gaya hai"

I am sure you must be imagining what made me say that. Well before I begin my story I would like to request you to take some time and recall that Anirudh with whom you have spent your time, shared emotions and also the kind of person he was.

Done That? Good....

You must all remember how excited I was to join i-flex. I got a chance to join the Company which made the world's best Banking Solution. Having interest in Finance and Computers, this job was a dream come true. After some tense moments and frequent shifting of joining dates, I finally joined i-flex on 18th of Sept’06. My joy knew no bounds.

But this was just the beginning and little did I realize that I shall face an entirely new world.

The first surprise: My training got reduced to mere 15 days instead of a full fledged 45 days training program. Wow, Lucky me.

The second surprise: On the very 16th Day I was placed on a multi-million dollar project, to be developed for one of the biggest banks of the world.

The Third Surprise: I got a chance to train my hands on Database (Oracle 10g) which constituted to be the heart of the project. Lucky Me!

Well that’s not all... This is just the start…

If I write the complete story, you just might kill me for being lucky, so I would rather give you an insight of one instance which is the best one too: MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!

It started with a pre-birthday party. We had a small party in the office, had cakes and pastries. Though it was small, it was enough to lighten my spirits and make me happy. Later in the evening, together with friends we went to Pizza Hut and ate till our desires actually gave up.

The next day (birthday), we started with a shopping session at MG road and Kakde Mall. Bought 2 T-Shirts and had a lovely time eating Italian food at one of the finest restaurants of Pune, MARZ-O-RIN. Later I decided to check out the courier that I was supposed to receive. I wanted to possess it anyhow as it contained my Birthday Gift sent by the most amazing friend I ever had. After many phone calls, a bit of running here and there and a 2 hour effort I finally received this huge parcel that shook the very faith in me. As a bachelor living alone I first thought she has sent me a mirror, later my roomies suggested that it must be a board that might be used for ironing clothes, etc. Then after a 15 minutes careful exercise I was finally able to open the multilayered dressing of the parcel. And the very sight of the gift made me smile like a Dog. Yes, it contained a picture of a pretty little girl laughing with her faithful Dog. Along with it there was a picture of me and her with the words 'FRIENDS FOREVER' written in between. What made me like the gift was the innocent smile of the girl and simplicity with which the meaning of friendship was expressed.

In the evening i-flex gave a treat to all its employees by sponsoring a show of DHOOM-2 at E-Square Multiplex. Although the movie wasn’t too good, but that was a lovely treat from my company. Later in the evening, I had the pleasure of having dinner with my Chacha-Chachi and my Chacha's in-laws. And once again with a cake cutting ceremony and a great dinner, I had a lovely evening.

Now time for the post-birthday party: As decided by my friends, we all went to Not Just Jazz By The bay, The Gordon House Hotel. There we had a sort of continental lunch. Had almost 28 types of Salads, Desserts, Sandwiches, etc. And most importantly had the first taste of liquor, the famous French Red Wine. I know it will sound surprising but I assure you the quantity was small enough to actually get the feel of it. After this sumptuous 2 hour meal, we again went to MG road for shopping. But this time, it was the ladies turn to shop and we rather enjoyed staying around. And lastly my friend's gifted me with this wonderful Levi T-shirt which I just cant stop praising. Thank You Guys shall always cherish it.

So this is how the life of an unconventional guy has been turned into. Those who are close to me know well that I don’t expect too much from life. But now after having a taste of leisure, I feel proud to call myself once again a "VICTIM OF DESIRE".

2006-10-19T14:15:00.000+05:30

The Lost World

I am lost in the middle of my thoughts,
All alone there’s no way to be found,
The world has suddenly become insane,
So much torture, hatred and pain.

I dreamed of a world which was pure and free,
Birds singing, children playing, joy all around,
But now its all gone, the trees are dead, the children silent,
With bloodshed everywhere, the world is dark and violent.

The past was glorious, said stories of knights and their might,
The present like a desert, with no life in sight,
The future is a dope, that gives you false hope,
With love being just an illusion and pain the only truth

O Lord, you are no more a hero,
Its money, the new king, which controls pain and suffering,
God, I beg you to release my soul from this devilish world,
Give me strength to unite the loving,
Coz everyday the situation become more dire,
And my heart burns like a pyre…

2006-05-12T17:01:00.000+05:30

Here's one more thought for all the friends who have been together with me... This one is specially composed by one of my very old Classmate and Good Friend SHWETA BHARDWAJ... I am deeply grateful to her for this Lovely Poem.. Kudos to you Shweta!!!

THE COLLEGE DAYS

Just as I was about to retire,
Just as I was to extinguish the fire,
A thought flashed into my mind,
That I was to leave my college days behind.

Those were the days of fun and frolic,
Those were the days of gifts and gossip,
Those were the days of bunking the classes,
Those were the days of “cheering” with tea glasses.

Days of bowing down before seniors in first year,
Days of fearing EDC and NT the next year,
Days of running behind Profs for internals in third year,
Days of preparing for MBA and Campus the last year.

Now, these days will never come by,
Now, we’ll never do “Assignment ki Chapayee”,
Now, in the canteen, we’ll never have samosa and tea,
Now, in the gathering, we’ll never dance to the rhythm of beats.

No “hyaaa…t” screaming in the class,
No aero plane flying towards the dais,
No linking of girl’s name with that of a boy,
No fresher parties full of “masti” and joy.

But these days have taught us to take pride,
And also to take success and failure in our stride,
They have brought out our hidden talent,
They have taught us to be independent.

There are so many memories to take away home,
There are so many friends that I am not alone,
There are so many contacts in my “INBOX”
There are so many messages on “Sign-off”.

The extra tuitions, the Internship training,
The “Industrial” tour, the canteen chatting,
The VII SEM seminar transparency,
The VIII SEM project: FACTS and FANTASY.

The Exam form, the Express coffee,
The Result day, the Class party,
The writing on the desk, the writing on the wall,
The cheating in exams, fearing one and all.

All these “yaadein” are there forever,
All the GFs-BFs, may there love be forever,
The DOSTS and YAARS may change NEVER,
Remember the movie we saw together!

So, Just as I was about to retire,
Just as I was to extinguish the fire,
Another thought flashed into my mind,
That this part of the tape will never “REWIND”.

--Shweta Bhardwaj

2006-05-08T17:07:00.000+05:30

FAREWELL

I played my part here
Now its time to go
I made people happy
I made them cry
I wiped the tears of some,and let them fly
Played with some,maybe hurt some others
Laughed with some,cried with some othrs
Today I say a Goodbye to all
Sorry to those all whom I hurt
Wishes to all I ever knew
My heart's treasured with moments of love
The care and affection,I had from all
The classes,the benches,pens and drawing halls
The grounds,The evenings and drives with all
All treasured in my litle heart
All I will ever remember
The friends,the loves and the missed calls

But now I have to say a Goodbye
Coz its time for me to leave
My parts' here is over
My times gone
As I walk away to a new road
I wish you all great luck ahead
May your path be loaded with roses all red
Distances might keep us apart
But our love will never depart
The touch of a friend, in the crying time
The hugs of friends in flying times
All there in my heart
I take these moments with me
To live forever, through my life
For company in my lonely times
I thank all for each moment you ever gave me
My college where I spent it seems a lifetime!!!

2006-03-24T23:27:00.000+05:30

MY ADVENTURE TRIP!!!

Few days back just before Holi, I got an oppurtunity of leaving behind the hustles of city life and experience the divinity in the lap of nature. I along with my friends Havish and Gaurav went to Chikhaldara, a hillstation which is 300 kms from Nagpur.

I call it an adventure trip coz we planned it just within few hours and by the time we realized that we had to leave it was already 10 pm. But then it is said that fortune favours the brave and hence we set out on this journey and left for Amravati at 11 pm by bus. we reached Amravati at 3 am and just like any typical Indian town, were waiting desperately for a cab to take us to the Bus Stop. till we could find any conveyence, we strolled around and found ourselves in the Campus of Punjabrao Deshmukh Medical College. The night was chilly and even though we were completely covered with our jackets, we were still shivering. Later we examined the campus for few minutes and then decided to continue our search for the cab.Finally we got an autorickshaw and reached the bus stop at 3.45 am. After we had a painful short nap (since we were tired) we contitued our journey for Chikhaldara on a new Bus at 6.45 am.

The route to Chikhaldara was completely through the forest of Melghat. All along the journey we travelled through Ghats and jungles. The bus took small stops in small villages and people from local tribes joined us in our journey. They were going to Chikhaldara on account of the Holi Market, which crops up every year. During our journey we saw extensive and beautiful fields. The scenic view was much better than any other screensaver available in the market. We reached the place at 10.30 am and started our search for a hotel room (since the journey was unplanned). We could figure out that there were 2 confereces going on andd hence all the rooms in good hotels were booked. This time both tired and hungry we continued our search for an houranf finally got a roomin the best hotel available.

After getting fresh and having a peaceful meal, we continued our journey and set out for the panoramic view of valleys and waterfalls present around. We saw the local Forest Museum and got acquainted with the local animals and tribes living in the nearby forest area. We continued to move further and saw Devi Point, a temple inside a creepy cave. Later we went to an echo point called Panch Bol ( Five words), were one can here the echo of a single word atleast five times. I must say we were completely taken over by the marvelous experience of nature.

Further we saw some valleys and forests. Some of the valleys were so deep that we could not even look at its bottom, due to the fear of falling inside (now dont think I am a coward, but those who know me know it well how adventurous I am). We experienced the virgin beauty of waterfalls and forests. The sound of gushing water was equivalent to that of any other jet present in todays era.

The next day we left on an adventure trip towards Kalalkund. It is called so because of the extensive depth of the waterfall and the depth of the valley. In our 8 km trek, we came across different small streams rocky terrains. Believe me the experience of climbimg those rolly hills with any supportive gear was mind blowing. Also the rocks were completely vertical and the thrill of climbing them was like a journey to hell and back, all alive and in single piece. After a 2 km trek we saw a beautiful fall which originated from a big piece of rock, probably equivalent to a mountain. I was the first one to climb that rocky mountain and trust me my feelings were even more powerful than what must have been felt by Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate winslet in Titanic.

Our trip became even more enthusiastic when we realized that two more people have joined us. These magnificient personalities were Kenny and Rama. Kenny was 74 years old and Ex-Vice President, Hewlett Packard, India, while his wife Rama, 68 years old was a housewife. Looking at their courage we were determined to do every possible activity and feel the extremes of nature's fury. However, one man who increased our experience multiple times was our Guide Veerappan. He had a moustache more than 1 feet long. He was the best guide one could ask for since he was a native of a nearby village and knew the region more than any one else could.

Moving ahead, we came across another fall which was probably 4 times the size of the first fall. Initially I was reluctant, but later I could muster enogh courage to climb it and dude, I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD! Looking at me Havish and Gaurav too overcame this daring feat and later the incident became and inseperable part of my life. Though Kenny and Rama never climbed any hill, on the contrary the movements of Veerappan were so swift that he could climb the hill without any support within just few minutes.

Finally we reached Kalalkund and I was thrilled to see this amazing face of nature. The water of all the previous falls combined to form a river and this river further fell into Kalalkund, a valley with a depth of more than 2000 feet. Inorder to get a feel of its depth we tried all possible moves but still couldnt find a suitable view. Finally we moved further on a different hill and from there we could see the strength of Nature. We were so thrilled that we nearly forgot all other things in this world. The sound of the fall of water was deafening and was powerful enough to break anything in its way into pieces. After this awful experience we returned to our basecamp, our hotel.

While I was packing my bags, I could feel a desire growing inside me to stay back and spend some more time in the lap of mother earth, and maybe build my own house near a fall. I know it sounds childish, but mother earth has truly inspired the child in me. And just like a small baby I too wanted to have the care and affection of my mother. So with a sad heart we left the place but firm desire to return again and pay my respects to my Mother Earth!

2006-03-10T10:50:00.000+05:30

We just had TRADITIONAL DAY in our college. I thought that its a good idea to express our regards to our culture. Also its fun to be a part of such event. I was dressed like a Marwadi Seth. Here's my pic. Do check it out!