Victoria Square; The Heart of Adelaide Speaks

Random Bubblings Before Work...

2012-02-17T21:41:00.000-08:00

I Shouldn't be gloating, but I will. I won on Lotto today. Sure, it was only sixty bucks, but what a boon!

Couldn't have come at a better time! In other news, a certain someone known for stirring shit and gossip has become the very prey that she preyed upon...

Can you IMAGINE being homeless at 34? By your own family? Gee, I guess all that pointing the finger paid off, it's finally come full circle and is now pointing at herself!

Queens are getting ready for Mardis Gras like it's the last one, and if the Mayan Prophecies are true, it just MAY be the last... but who knows?

I'm not going this year but am thrilled to see the young'uns run off to the REAL big smoke and experience what part of the bigger world has to offer; How many will get bitten by the bug and not want to come back?

Then again, it's far too easy to go over to Melbourne and befriend a big name and make it big... cause its worked for everyone SO FAR! LMAO!

STILL haven't been on Facebook for FOUR days now and am just WAITING to see when I slip up and pop in for a 'quickie'... THEN, I just may as well kill myself...

Not missing it AT ALL, I'm finding that the sociality of switching the conversation now from something that hasn't hit Facebook YET, to sentences that don't involve status updates, 'Drag Wars', lols and 'what the FUCK did THAT mean?' on a random comment from an acquaintance that you would NEVER poke when in public...

I discovered that the Facebook has NOT consumed the rest of the internet, it was Rupert Murdoch all along, now he's not just tapping phone calls, but he's tapping your E-Mails, updates and internet porn stars as well...

What I have discovered since abandoning FB is INCREDIBLE! This thing called time came back, and boredom flew out the window, which makes me stop and think 'If I don't have to actually SAY that I am going to Elizabeth, will I then ENJOY it?!

Being bored has no meaning when it's not in a status update and without one to type into, I'm rarely bored!

...Sigh... Now I'm off to work to cook the shit outta these Yiros's, and not re-offend the Tranny/Crossie that I did last night... Although just LOOKING at her, I think it's best NOT to kick 'em while they're down.

...You KNOW your in trouble when you don't look like a Tranny OR a Crossdresser... Just sayin' is all...

Til next time, fleeting readers,

MWAH!

xxx

Bitch Can't Help Herself!

2012-02-15T16:23:00.000-08:00

Now that all of THAT crap is over (she got bored and moved on to someone else), I have decided to come back on here and just release my THOUGHTS (which is like a status update, only longer but just as fleeting..).

Facebook is a powerful tool. It disintegrates sociality, puts a standard on 'friendship' and gives every ego the chance to feel superior garnering on how many likes, comments, or friends that one has at the time.

This is my second day of not even LOOKING at the Facebook logo and I am STILL not tempted in any way to pop in. The amount of pictures that involve babies in dumpsters, burnt kittens and wounded puppies that are claiming with each view click a dollar goes to the cause; scam. Heartless scam profiteering on the crueler side of humanity, and combined with what is going on in my own life at the moment; I've seen enough ugliness.

I've recently discovered that I am not a nice person! My friends have ditched me and I FEEL like a witch hunt has started- But it's OK though; I MUST have deserved it.

Perhaps I wasn't providing enough camp banter? Maybe I don't drink enough... Maybe I AM just a waste of space that neither private school nor being a friend of supported means can bring...

Sigh... Not even woe is me, I am not slightly bothered that I am being exiled by a few people at the moment, in fact I am reveling in it, if it is in fact, the case at all.

But it's OK, I shall fade away in to the background, as I usually do, only to be justified by ones actions of being accused with something from my past, and if one does that; then that is where they belong.

Why do I trust people that only end up wanting to hurt me?

I must have done something REALLY bad to be alone in a house full of people... Town... World...

*cue the Violins*

As I stare out the window I contemplate not why me, but why NOT me? I CHOSE a life of struggle and difficulty, or I would have been the one in private school!

I'm not angry, oh no, I'm more concerned about WHERE I am a horrible person that my friends decided to have had enough... They don't even consider me when they go to the MOVIES, why should I think that it's ME that's the problem?

...Because it IS me.

Clearly.

So my worst fears have come true; my father was right.

...*curls up in fetal position*

BUT the GOOD thing out of all of this is; It doesn't hurt me any more, so I win.

...I always thought it was ME who killed off Victoria Square... Now I realize that It wasn't ME who stopped believing in her...

*picks up Violin and heaves it out the window*

No more shall I be bothered with this kind of crap! I sure as shit ain't gonna sit around wastin' tears on things that clearly don't matter; if they did we wouldn't be facing this now!

I'm not sure where I am going anymore, I used to have a path, a muse, a purpose... Now all I have is a bitch of a cat and nothin' but questions;
What am I gonna do now?
Should I move somewhere Tropical, Peaceful or a Concrete Jungle?
Should I stay and wither away in happiness and contentment in the 'burbs'.
Should I SELL or BURN the wigs?
Shall I score an 8ball and become 'Traitor's' 'DFBFF'?
Shall I just count me losses, pick up a surfboard and tempt that Great White fucker from '93?
Shall I co-host Drag-O-Rama?

...Nah, maybe I'll empty an ashtray instead... see what's on the box... I'll get back to Life when I feel like it.

*Picks up shattered pieces of Violin and attempts to play*

Farewell, Goodbye, Adieu , Adios!

2011-11-20T15:40:00.000-08:00

Gentle Readers,

It's time for me to hang up the wigs, lock away the outfits, delete all the music and get my real life back again.

I DID ask for this to happen by way of going Pen in the first place, but MORE than that, I WANTED something to be able to put that final nail in the coffin (and who better than the BIGGEST CUNT in town?!), and the only way to do it was to put myself in a situation that would confirm the death knell that has been slowly killing my confidence and spirit since I was blamed for what happened back in 2004 (ironically she had a massive part to play in THAT too, no pun intended).

I should have spared myself the heartache back then, when everyone I had EVER known were speaking the worst about me: That I had stolen off my dear friend as he lay there in his final resting peace.

I never got over that. Mostly because it never happened (by me, that is), but also as it is one of the lowest things to DO let alone get blamed for. It doesn't matter that most of my 'friends' didn't believe it: They never TOLD me what was going around, and THAT'S why I STILL can't trust anyone.

That is why I don't LIKE myself, as all I did was go out and make people laugh, but I got laughed AT instead, as I didn't know what was being spread about me that would literally break me when I found out... As a result, it was a slow and painful death, that only just FINISHED, this weekend gone!

I had two years, working in the real world with no dramas, no hurt and trusting people again, and one single night made me realise, that for me, it's just not worth it.

It's been hell, to be honest, putting on that façade, when all I wanted to do was disappear, so I could rebuild. I did these last two nights for Margie Legend Fisher as a favour, and am glad I did as I now know more than ever, that Victoria Square is well and truly put to pasture.

It's funny when people say that 'Adelaide can't live without Victoria Square; The Heart Of Adelaide', to which I say; You've done just FINE in the last two years, it's good practice for what's to come!

The Heart of Adelaide.... What a JOKE of a title, queen, person. Adelaide HAS no heart, at least not in MY eyes!

Some things that I never got over will haunt me every time that I have to don that wig, but without it I realise that it's really nothing, how does THAT work?!?!

I don't think I will ever find a 'best friend', a partner or anyone that doesn't know about Victoria Square in this town, as it's not something that I am proud of (because I wasn't strong enough to give a shit when it mattered most), and I can't seem to escape the tightening grip of familiarity that connects me to what I USED to love, but now I despise, which leads me to think that I will only find happiness when I get out of here and get a life where can hopefully be; A nobody.

I have no IDEA where I am going, but I know where I've BEEN, and I'll be DAMMED if I ever have to go BACK to this again!

To all the young kids doing Drag out there: Be true to yourself. ENJOY it for what it is. Make the MOST of bum situations, keep your FRIENDS close, (one day you MAY wake up and find no-one is around you), but most importantly; KEEP IT FUN!!! The world NEEDS colour and movement!

Signing off for the last time,

Victoria Square; The Heart Adelaide Attacked.

My Apologies...

2011-11-19T22:53:00.000-08:00

After much deliberation I decided to erase that last post, it simply didn't do much for the situation at hand, and I apologise to anyone who read it and am glad that I have taken it down because it REALLY didn't suit me!

Some lonely queen decided to attack me on Facebook (a rather pointless move, as she had blocked me YEARS ago), and I took that last retaliation post down as I really did not want to lower myself to her standards; I mean, you'd think I'd have learnt something after the Loco fiasco, right!

I have no idea why that queen is bothering with me, and I don't care. It really says a lot about this town (and my generation of performers), when someone who is supposed to be upholding a venue can slander those who are not, I hope that the owners/managers are aware that this person is back to her usual tricks, it's only downhill from here!

I'm also not worried or bothered about the younger queens who have to go to her for work; use it while you can, you'd be stupid NOT to! A gig IS a gig!

I'm not interested in whatever she is wallowing in, we never spoke to each other (thankfully) during MegaDrag, yet you can always tell when something is up because her underlings are overly nice to you, but THAT wasn't the first sign that something was going to go wrong, let me tell you!

I am very happy with who I am, I don't CARE what others think of me (especially when it comes from someone who has to become nasty to be liked), I got out of drag for this very reason, and now feel compelled to do the same again, as it's just not worth my time.

So to that performer who is more like a drug pig than a drag queen, I say to you: Thank you for showing everyone around you what you are really like, we knew it would come out in some form or another, it usually does: it's like a neverending cycle with you.

I'm not affected, and I'm going to STILL be me, face on or not.

Now I'm off to Bingo for the last time this year, with Malt Biscuit and Amelia Von Wheels, it's gonna be a HOOT!

MWAH!

XvX

Far From Heaven

2011-11-17T07:20:00.001-08:00

Far From Heaven. By far, THE best show that I have seen in (well, aside from the Halloween shows), a VERY LONG TIME!

Malt Biscuit and The Lampshade Shop reunited once again for a show that will make you laugh, cry, feel emotion like no other show has in SO LONG, I'm just blown away by this.

The cast consisted of Malt Biscuit, Michael Jackson Carson And Paul Harris and was directed by Shimmer Chernobyl. The three acts that made up such a brilliant performance were each different from the next, all staying in the one house from the fifties, then the eighties and finally now.

This is not your average show, people, it MAY be shown in a club where most people talk over a good number, or stand with their backs to the stage in a drunken stupor only to repeatedly say how camp they thought the show was, but THIS show will have you feeling ALL the emotional range that humans are known for.

I'm not going to do a spoiler alert and tell the storyline: This show IS Theatre.

MJC was in his element and is by far one of his greatest performances that I have had the pleasure of witnessing him to date (and we've known each other for YEARS, let me tell you!), the man is SO talented, and in this show really shone like never before, showing a side to his talent that has rarely been exploited like this.

Paul Harris showed us that there is more to him than a FANTASTIC and LOVEABLE performer, he moved the audience in a way that the fool behind us making a lot of noise was drowned out by such a MOVING performance, and it's one that I won't forget in a LONG time. Having known Paul for quite a few years, this is the show that I will ALWAYS think of when I hear his name.

Shimmers direction is WELL directed, and her passion and drive is something to be admired, the hard slog that WONDERFUL and AMAZING person put the cast through came across in such a way that it tempted me to go BACK to the theatre myself, where I feel I belong, I can't thank her enough for making this show possible.

And last, but DEFINITELY not least, the star herself. One of my closest friends and housemate, Miss Malt Biscuit. With what seemed like breathtaking ease, she took us all on a ride that made us laugh, cry, be afraid, fucking MESMERISED the audience, I can tell you that I was not the ONLY one that shed a tear more than once, and some of those scenes will haunt me as they were so moving, and perfectly played. From her dance moves, to a face with more expression than a whole stadium of people, she is what we all know; Amazing. Brilliant. Divine. (but don't tell HER I said that!) In my opinion, this showcased where she came from, what she's learned and where she is going.

I couldn't be PROUDER of someone who REALLY gave it all she's got, and I won't forget the moment that I recognised the fact that this was (in my opinion), her Magnum Opus (to date).

IF you get an inkling, go down next Thursday Night to Mars and witness what has just upped the ante in our little scene. She's always been the one who gets ALL the work, and this show will prove to you why.

To the cast and crew of Far From Heaven: BEYOND brilliant.

I IMPLORE you to go down and witness what hasn't been seen or felt in a LONG time, a fucking AMAZING show.

Til next time,

MWAH!

Good Times And Rough Memories... NOT A Good Combo!

2011-11-07T17:59:00.000-08:00

WHAT a WONDERFUL Birthday I've had! I cannot THANK ALL who made it so friggin' AWESOME! Great times, and even GREATER friends, I am blessed!

Feast Festival is upon us, and this year promises to be a DOOZY! I myself am rather looking forward it, I think it's time that I got back out there, REGARDLESS of the fact that I am not 'allowed' to work on most stages in this town, is it my loss, really?
Not really. I'm not the one missing out on sales over the bar (god knows there's no PAY involved in bringing int he masses for a good night!), but it does kind of suck when you see others that have done worse and STILL 'allowed' to do their thing... Doesn't do much for thinking that Adelaide's Gay Scene ISN'T run by one, or a few, but my... aren't I going on a bit...

I did not come on here to dump, I came to inform you all that I will be making not one, but TWO guest appearances during Feast. I will be taking over from Margie Fisher to work with Malt biscuit during the SECOND night of Feast Bingo, as Margie has her own show to do, and am touched that she thought of me to fill her gap. Pun WELL intended! Thanks Margie!

The second one is SO exciting, I am CO-HOSTING MEGADRAG with three other talents, Shimmer Chernobyl, Malt Biscuit and Penni-Traitor. Or is it traitor rush? Or is it 300 pounds of lycra, I'm not sure, there's no point in addressing her, just point in her general direction if you're not already in her orbit ... Usually does the trick.

Only ONE of the four Queens co-hosting is being difficult and demanding, and this time it's not me! I'm pretty sure we all know who it is, but it's certainly not going to stop me from having a great night! Can't WAIT to see who slips up!

Other than that, the line-up is INCREDIBLE! I am SO excited as the talent this year is PHENOMENAL! it reminds me of when we did it years ago, you could put every queen on one stage and just marvel at the differences between performers and FINALLY, another generation is doing just that - no clones!

How refreshing! Whilst I'm not abject to slandering those who have slandered me in the past (and probably on the weekend just gone), I sure as shit never take the first punch, but WILL be as PROFESSIONAL as is needed on the night- DESPITE the reputation one has acquired from years of being burnt and silly choices like, listening to my then 'friends', or wallowing in the lack of confidence that I am known for.

No WONDER I'm still single, but I'm happy with that. I would NEVER want to put anyone through the rigor mortise that is our scene and have a simple friend GRILLED like a long lost lover by a thousand queens, therefore I shall stay RIGHT here, in the shadows where I feel I belong, only popping out to do the odd fundraising gig - Even Sydney is out for me this year, I just don't have the strength!

Looking forward to a great Festival, the opening nights show is going to be something not to miss, or so I'm told...I'll find out when I am dragged there after being peeled off my computer playing Oblivion...

UNLESS I manage to get me a job during that time to which I shall only ever hear about it...

HOPEFULLY next time I'm on here I'll be in a better mood... Four kittens and no job hardly makes one pleasant...

MWAH!

If I HAD A Heart, I'd Break It, JUST To See What It Feels Like!

2011-11-03T02:35:00.000-07:00

There's one thing I hate about being slightly clairvoyant (I say slightly, because I don't really have THAT much faith in pretty much anything that I do), and that is not knowing what is valid and what is not.

I don't enjoy knowing certain things that happen before you're eyes when you saw it happen months ago in a 'daydream', and I don't like having an extra sensory instinct that can shoot something down before it's even started, it can be good OR bad, but I just don't like it.

I second guess myself on nearly EVERY single, solitary thought that enters my head, let alone what drivvle falls out of it, and the hardest thing, I guess is when you meet someone and even though you may not know it, but over time, the heart swells.

Didn't see THAT coming! I don't enjoy the company of 'potential partners/hook-ups' as I have too many issues to sort out before I even TRY to contemplate throwing myself at someone, and the worst part is I know WHY the barriers go up in the first place, but how do you tell that to a newly acquainted friend that has everyone they know telling them that I have the hots for them?

I didn't even KNOW I had the hots for them, but everyone else does, apparently, and rumors are what keeps this town thriving, so I guess I should just do what I do and keep living in one of the most glittered of shadows that hide many a secret talent; lay low and just keep to myself so I don't feel the need to justify my actions on something as simple as 'hanging out with a mate', which is virtually impossible, as any male that I know I am most likely 'seeing'...

I've never SEEN anyone in my life, and with good reason, too! I just don't WANT to! How can I put anyone THROUGH my life, when I can barely get through it myself! It doesn't matter how many times people say how 'fabulous' you are, or how much of a 'beautiful' person you are; when you have NO confidence in oneself, all the compliments in the WORLD seem like an offense!

So imagine my surprise when I catch up with someone who seems to just set my soul on fire, without DOING anything, and all I wanna do is catch up and have a laugh, yet everyone around me is saying what I fear... Maybe this one might be the one to finally break the seal on that catbox?!

I don't think so, Sharon. You'd think that I might KNOW when someone has feelings for me (cause it happens so friggin' OFTEN! :P), but on the odd chance that someone HAS, they mostly get rejected as I can't feel that way about myself, so how can anyone else?

I'll get over it, I'm sure, but for now I'd just like someone to hang with and play playstation, laugh a bit and NOT fill an otherwise lame conversation with witty jokes and one-liners from the weekend...

Knowing my luck, while I'm WAITING for my Knight in shining armor, it'll turn out that someone ELSE is waiting, but it's ME who is the Knight and I've lost me bloody Horse!

HOPEFULLY, I get my new job, and the money can start rolling back in again so I can AFFORD to go and meet some FRIENDS and have fun, until then though, I'm going to go on Facebook to see what I've been up to, the gossip mongers are SO good at what they do, one day they'll get it RIGHT!!!

Maybe I should find Gepetto and become a real boy...

Til' Next Time, Gentle Readers,

Mwah!

Just A Quiet Moment To Myself.....

2011-10-30T06:14:00.001-07:00

What an emotional week!

My 'would be' Bi-Polarity flared up again this week and I found myself on an emotional rollercoaster from hell. I call it 'would be' because I have been procrastinating doing anything about it, but I think it's obvious that I really should.

After some incredible shows, the end of an era in the workplace, as the new owners take over from the best employers IN THE WORLD, and now I have to learn to speak Korean...

Wow, what a hoot! I never DID fancy learning another language when I was in school, it was so long ago that the Korean dialect at the time of my education was not much more than some unintelligible grunting and heavy breathing, and it would have been a LOT EASIER if they HADN'T advanced up the evolutionary ladder with a straw hat and a plow cow as an emblem... My, aren't I going on a bit...

So I had the teensiest breakdown, and am REALLY hoping that I never have to do it in the public eye again, it's just... Facebook is REALLY good for venting, which can turn to seething, narcissistic views on life, to which certain sayings may seem extremely vicious and harmful, but they are only fleeting... Unless you click 'older posts'

...I wish LIFE had an 'older posts' button that we could click to rectify, justify or electrify our own lives, can you IMAGINE?!

So yeah, before I become a COMPLETE basket case, I want you all to know: I am OK.

I tried taking on too many things when I was barely handling my own issues, and kind of lost myself in the process... Shame that, it's such a WASTE! I had SUCH a GREAT time on Friday Night that I RUINED it for myself by letting my mind snap.

That happens to geniuses, you know. Too much knowledge and BLAM! CRAAAAZZY!!!

Why it's happening to me, I haven't ANY idea, my dears!

One things for sure, punters, ain't NO-ONE is gonna put up with me when I'm going through shit like that, so I'm gonna have to get over this and fix it before I dust off my dance card and play husband and wife with The Greatest Guy In The World... Whoever he is...

All good, nothing a little medication won't fix, and even though I said I never would, I seem to have depleted every other option bar running away where it can only chase me.

Good Lord, I swear I just felt a hundred Queens fall off their chairs.

Goodnight, Gentle Readers,

MWAH!

XvX

Best. Shows. Ever.

2011-10-28T22:28:00.001-07:00

Did you get a read of that last post? How FLAT was I?!

Moving RIGHT along... Last night was The Mardis Gras Collective shows Halloween spectacular, and I think it goes without saying: FUCKING BRILLIANT!

Two completely different shows which polarized the audience SEVERAL times, with phenomenal sets, storylines, performers AND performances, these shows just keep getting better and better, why, it almost makes you wonder why the people who get PAID to do shows bother at all?!

The results from the volunteer performers who donated their time, effort and creativity is PARAMOUNT and no-one is an exception, far more professional than most of what I'VE been involved in up til this point and NO-ONE was letting anything down. I hope that everyone involved realised how great a job was done!

The two people who made this possible are Oktavia and Malt Biscuit, and as speechless as I am about the whole thing, I cannot say how PROUD, and GRATEFUL and THRILLED I am to have been able to witness those two shows, it's been so LONG since I clapped more than a single clap for appreciation!

I've wanted to put a gag on Oktavia for YEARS but I don't think I could do it HALF as good as when she did it herself, TEARS sprung to my eyes! Fantastic job, girl!

Such talent. This is NOT a show that I will forget in a hurry, like it's predecessor, Malice In Wonderland, Pennywise is one for the record books. If ONLY Halloween ran for a month, once was JUST NOT ENOUGH!

Great job girls, my only thought now is: TOP THAT YA BITCHES!!!

Inspired and Divined,

MWAH!

Woe Is Me.

2011-10-26T04:36:00.000-07:00

ANIMALS! Surrounded by ANIMALS! No, I'm not talking about the cast @ Live, I'm talking about OUR HOUSE!!! Two dogs that never stop barking, twelve fish that never stop eating, four kittens that never stop CLIMBING and two cats that don't stop fighting, I'm telling ya, THERE'S TOO MUCH PUSSY IN MY LIFE!

I love them all, but sometimes, it's hard to dodge the excitement from any ONE of them when I arrive home (or anyone else, for that matter!)

I'm not going to beat around the bush anymore with the drivvle that I am known for, I'll get straight to the point.

Loneliness, is such a sad affair... A lyric from one of my favourite songs seems to sum me up perfectly right about now, I've been so friggin' POSITIVE lately, and not just on a superficial 'I don't DO free gigs anymore cause I'm a fuckin' GODDESS!' kind of way, but genuinely from the inside out, and I don't know WHERE it has come from, all I know is that it won't be around forever, and I want to cherish this strange feeling of Ecstasy before it vanishes and leaves me feeling cold, and I reach for the blanket of depression that is peaking like a wave, right behind me.

Work is great, life is great, I really can't complain except for the loneliness that seems foreboding, and shall result in my Facebook going eerily quiet. Again.

I feel that I am constantly fighting the Drag within my blood, part of me feels that, while it WAS a great ride the journey is over, but on the other...

Everyone wants me to do SOMETHING, yet offers nothing, and even when something DOES come up, I feel guilty because my drive to be 'on' just isn't there, and those around me never seem happy that I get an offer in the first place!. Sometimes I (like every other fucker on the planet) just want to, disappear and live a quiet, boring life in the middle of nowhere, yet it seems like I'm already doing that!

I've got my birthday coming up, and it shall be like every other: Just another piece of cotton in the weave of life, whilst I never have the kind of parties that others are known for, I don't really WANT one, either. Never liked surprises, but I think everyone knows that, to which I am glad and relieved.

I'm not fond of alcohol. Or groups. or groups AND alcohol, yet it seems to be what most can't live without, and no-one knows how to NOT obliterate themselves with it, therefore I don't like parties. Funny how one can be SURROUNDED by people, yet feel COMPLETELY alone... If my father wasn't an alcoholic, no doubt I WOULD be, but that's another story entirely.

Sometimes I'd just like to FIT IN somewhere, instead of feeling like a dick in an ocean of cunt...

...sigh.. Poor old me... Poor, poor, pour me another....

Rambling Rumblings From The Inner Crust.

2011-10-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

Adelaide suffered another earthquake the other night, thrilling, four queens bolted outta the house and lit up cigarettes to excitedly discuss the rumblings of nature that awoke us from our slumber. No casualties, however a garden chair DID fall to the ground in Bel Air, but no-one was seriously injured.

Rouge Sheppard turned Eighty and celebrated it at Garage, the place was packed, the show was great and a good time was had by all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROUGE!!!

Halloween is upon us, and that means only one thing... The next day is my birthday so I don't really have a care for Pumpkins overshadowing my day of days ANYMORE! I am looking forward to the shows @ Mars on Halloween Weekend, they are going to be bigger and better than ANYTHING you've seen in a LONG time, so if you get the urge, RUN, don't WALK to the club to see these gorgeous creatures of the night hump the stage to you're spook-filled night!

Megadrag is coming up, to which I am co-hosting and performing, which should be a boon; the bitches better not put me on last or I'll turn! Most of you will be surprised if I actually turn up, but I have a job now that allows it, so you never know ;P

Strangely, there is LOTS happening in the world that the news just isn't showing... Bit of a worry in Europe at the moment, but hey! The Carbon Tax is waaay more important than a collapsing dollar and riots on the street...

They're shooting Les Miserables in London with Hugh Jackman, I've never seen it, and I'm not sure I COULD see it, it's not exactly the funniest thing to watch when one has company over, but theater turned movie-goers worldwide are THRILLED!

The Queen turned up in Perth and people were more interested in what Julie Rafter was doing with that OCD nut on Rafters, other than that, nothings been said about that pot smoking 14yo in Bali, it's like he just DISAPPEARED!

Bette Midler finally decides to sell off her costumes from the last 40 years for charity. I've waited all my LIFE to see what she has on offer.... Turns out she's trying to woo Lady Gaga to buy the mermaid outfits and chairs... Then I just may as well kill myself... Well, not until HER NEW MOVIE with BILLY CRYSTAL comes out next year! Finally! BIG NAMES in movies that should have been filmed FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!!!
Better late than never, I suppose.

Still can't BELIEVE that not only does some dickhead want to remake Dirty Dancing, but clearly someone in the next office heard it and is going to redo Point Break, what IS it about the late Patrick Swayze that Hollywood moguls want to recreate his movies... WITHOUT HIM! With the exception of City Of Angels, he WASN'T THAT BAD!!!

It's like, since Whoopi got on The View, she hasn't had any movie offers... Why? I feel that she was better off BEFORE we all got to see the REAL Whoopi, sitting behind that desk grunting like a man, which is pointless, cause Ellen and Chelsea Handler do it better! LOOK WHAT MONEY DOES TO PEOPLE!!!

My, aren't I going on a bit. I better leave this and get to work before I start on Jennifer Bannister...

Til next time, Gentle Readers,

MWAH! xx

If Love Is The Answer... Could You Please Repeat The Question?

2011-10-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

Love. I am surrounded by it. Up until now it had merely been a word that was casually thrown around like, hello, please, or litigation.

Love. The one thing I could do FOR others, only not for myself.

Love. It's time I got me some!

I had a mass revelation yesterday. I was getting ready for work, happy as a larry, free as a bird, as loose as a prossie... well, ok maybe NOT that last one, but you get my drift, and I came to realise that the certain thing I had been searching for was no longer there.

It hit me at precisely 11:42 am that I had become so USED to nursing a broken heart that it had become a part of me until yesterday when I was struck with logic: My heart is no longer broken; and hadn't been FOR SOME TIME!

Isn't that sad, that when one becomes used to a certain feeling, or experience that it becomes a part of you so much that when you realise it's not broken anymore, one almost MISSES it!

I'm not YEARNING for a broken heart, I reminded myself, but I AM looking to expand the mended one that I DO have! The constant feeling that something is missing has now been replaced with a constant feeling to find someone to help me break it again!

Well, maybe not BREAK it, but see if the rest of the world is right, and find out if someone CAN do what I struggle with: Put up with me!

I ain't perfect, never said I was and never will I say that I am, and I think to put it into context, Miss Monroe said it perfectly "If they don't deserve me at my worst, they sure as hell don't deserve me at my best".

Not that that is an excuse to be a real schmuck til potential partner #1 is a toothless wad of gum that yes's me til I'm blue in the face, but finding someone who GETS you is harder than you think when no-one really knows you.... Am I going too fast? Am I going too slow?

Were talking about someone who hasn't been able to speak about the love word without a Sade CD on in the background so I could feign what I was talking about.
It's not that I've NEVER been loved, or don't know what it is, but more so the fact that I've never allowed myself to experience it, for WHATEVER reason. (Personally, I think being born on the Far West Coast in the mid seventies had something to do with it, but there you go). But now I think it's time to find out.

You have no IDEA how many times I find myself pining for the ultimate guy who will make me feel the way I need to be felt in order to be loved, and wanted. Almost every guy I MEET is in the back of my head 'Ooh, is he The One?', then come the fantasies or visions of potential future; picket fences and the like, surfboards on the roofrack, are there kids cause I can handle a Red Dog but a Spaniel is OUTTA the QUESTION! But my, aren't I going on a bit...

I don't feel the need to be searching for someone that is going to 'make it all better' anymore: that's all up to me, cause I know that when I DO fix it, the right man WILL come along and TOGETHER we'll make it all better.

I know what I want, but I don't wanna fuck it up til it's ready, so I've handed the situation in question over to The Universe, and when it comes, it will come... Evidently. (bright words of wisdom from The Universe).

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like had I have been a little more promiscuous instead of looking like Homer Simpson when he sucked that lemon, and then I think.... Aaaah, fuck it. It IS, what it is.

I Am what I am.

You Are, what you are.

I can't WAIT to BE, what we'll be!

x

...Sigh...

One day.

Til next time, Gentle Readers!

xVx

Three Days Off And I'm A Mess!

2011-10-07T18:22:00.001-07:00

OMIGOD! WHAT a WEEK! Three days off and I WANT MORE!!!!

The hacking situation has been fixed, but upon reviewing my bank statement that I received yesterday, which is DIFFERENT AGAIN, I think it is clear. That I must change banks. Problem is, I just got my Group certificate done, so now I have to wait til that's in there, before I can whip it out and open another account with a more reputable bank, and deposit it with the flair and candor that I am known for.

Clearly I didn't find a man last night, oh there were some very familiar threats, but none that took my fancy. Ok, well a FEW did, but they were all taken and I REFUSE to be the other woman!

I'm not going to do a run down of the Toscas this year, as I clearly don't know who won what, and I think the young ones might want a reprieve from publicity, as this generation feels it necessary to thrive on the bad stuff, and the bad stuff alone.

I DID however, manage to make a few more contacts that involve the celluloid world, which I find more appealing than humping a stage for a hundred bucks a night, as Celluloid DOES last forever, and if you don't like it you can always turn it off... Mind you, we say that about Facebook, and look! NO-ONE turns it off!

I SWEAR there must be subliminal messages within the posting wall, why I've been known to glare at the wall for HOURS just WAITING to pounce on the next unsuspecting victim... Commenting on a whim and liking things at random certainly takes it's toll, but it IS how I got the Kylie tickets, so I shouldn't really complain.

But I'll be honest, if I'm not chatting with a friend, I'm playing one of two games, or I'm trying desperately to figure out who 'so and so' is: They've popped up on my friends list proclaiming how it's been too long (I don't hear that often ENOUGH, my dears!), whilst I rack my brain as I scan the photo for anything more than just a twinge of familiarity, trying to figure out WHO the hell they are: DO I owe them money, DID they try to hook up one night, DID I try to hook up one night and they noticed? All these things go rushing through what's left of my memory, and I feel DREADFUL, as I have the memory of a sieve. It retains almost nothing, so you can imagine how to tackle the tricky situation of asking a simple question: I don't remember WHO you are, and I SHOULD, you're TERRIBLY cute!

I am so ashamed of my past, I don't regret a single thing (I regret EVERYTHING!) but the memory of the recoveries of yesterday have clouded my mind, and I cannot remember a THING, other than how fabulous I was when I was doing whatever I can't remember that I did.

Oh, I know it'll come back, it does in spits and spurts, but it does NOT make for pleasant conversation when you get the feeling that the person in question cottons on to the fact, that you simply don't remember who they are!

But I digress,I had a great night out, caught up with MANY a dear friend that I haven't seen for a LONG time, and had a ball, or two.

Almost makes me want to put a frock on.... Nah, not yet!

I can't remember where I've PUT it all!

Til next time, Gentle Readers,

MWAH!

TOSCAS 2011.... And other Stuff...

2011-10-02T01:56:00.000-07:00

Phew! What a WEEK, it has BEEN, my dears! Here we are, on Tosca Eve, who will win Tragic Drag?... Slut Of The Year? The TOSCA?!... Well, not me, evidently. You don't get nominated when you've been incarcerated in a chicken shop, nonetheless, I wish EVERYONE going, presenting, receiving, well, anyone that is in the building to have a great Tosca night!

IN the real world, however...

Hacking situation is solved, money has been reimbursed and I feel human again! Secondly, Basil gave birth to FOUR kittens! And thirdly, our house is currently haunted...

No, not of my 'career' haha, but, well, it's ALWAYS had at least two that we know of, and fleeting as they are, we'd gotten used to them, and they, for the most part, confined themselves to the back yard. But lately, the place has been like Grand Central Station, shit's happening ALL OVER the joint!

We've ALL seen the phantom cat that swishes in and goes to rub you're leg and it disappears, two of us have seen the Shadow Man standing in the doorway, and things have just been 'turning up', that we haven't seen in MONTHS, like jewellery and stuff...

Weird, coincidental dreams between two of us with such freakish similarities that it made us think, 'maybe Lesbian lovers AREN'T the only ones who can sync cycles....'

The dogs quite often bark at the corner of the lounge room in the middle of the night, (but they're both idiots, so it might just be their small brains playing up, you never know)

But Something just SHUT Lola in Malts room.

Malt just left for Bingo @ Garage, then Toscas @ Mars (looked heaven, btw, even if it WAS just a slip she was wearing) and I was in my room, playing Sim-city 4 (Oh god, did I just TYPE that?!) when, through the crack in my door I saw someone rush frantically IN to Malts room, with Lola in tow. I heard someone rummaging through things, and thought 'She's decided to put something over that slip, good girl'.

It went quiet for about a minute til Lola started barking, and I realised that she was locked in. Then it hit me: Malt hadn't left yet, she was still in there, but Lols was barking like she wanted to REALLY get out, so I knocked... Nothing. I peeled back the flap to her annex... Lola came tearing out of there, and the light was off - NO-ONE was in there!

These spirits are clearly not the same spirits that we have known to be here. They have confined themselves to the backyard because even THEY don't want to hear our shit EVERY SINGLE DAY, and we like it like that!

But now, this thing that's seemingly invaded our home is... Interesting. It's not scary (yet), but it's more... fascinating, than anything....

I take great relief that I am not alone in what has been witnessed, or having seen the same thing as someone else makes one think that one is not ENTIRELY crazy!

I'm going to get a camera and take some photos, I think...

Thanks for listening,

MWAH!

HACKED! HACKED! ...You Called Me A What?!

2011-09-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

We got hacked.

I'M not the hack, but we've BEEN hacked!

NEVER presume that it'll never happen to you, because it does.

My account was being siphoned to the tune of nearly ONE THOUSAND dollars, and housemate #1's account was closed and apparently was shopping in Dubai last night, which is kind of funny as the aforementioned housemate starts to hyperventilate once he gets any further than Northgate!

Luckily for me, I got mine fixed before any real damage was done: It's only money, and I HAVE blown it before, but when someone else does it FOR you, well, it doesn't do much for one's burdening sense of confidence, I'll tell ya the truth!

What a horrible experience. I wouldn't wish it on the worst examples of humanity that the Drag World has to offer... and that list is getting LONGER by the day!

For example, the housemate who 'shopped in Dubai' and was back before bedtime had money taken from his wallet in an room full of Young Drag Queens whilst rehearsing for a show, ON THE SAME NIGHT as Dubai-gate!

What idiot would do that knowing there are cameras ALL OVER the club!?!?!

TIME will tell and a young queen shall sink to the ground when it's been proven! God I LOVE justification, there ain't nothing WORSE than goin' down for somethin' that never happened!

Nonetheless, it's nothing compared to what I am gonna do when I find out whose been breaking in to my account, NOR will it be when HM #1 finds out who tried shopping in Dubai with a shonky credit rating?!

I know, there are PLENTY of people out there pointing at the screen, or over a crackpipe saying 'It's Karma' or 'What goes around, comes around' or to a lesser extent, 'Dubai?!...I mean, really?' and I couldn't give a shit as I would inevitably be saying the same thing when I see a former 'friend' going through some rough times, it IS a vicious cycle and I intend to ride it for all it's worth!

Maybe it IS karma, maybe I'm just NOT A NICE PERSON, maybe my friends were right (and I have so FEW that it's hard NOT to listen to just about ANYONE!)

The point remains: that old saying 'It'll never happen to me'... Well, it did. And it does. And probably will again in different ways, NO-ONE is immune from it!

I would rather prefer to go through another hellish nightmare with some crack whore masquerading as a friend than suffer being violated by something you DON'T know, cause when you find out... It's invariably too late!

What a BITCH of a day!

Til' next time, Gentle Readers,

MWAH!

Facebook, How DARE You CHANGE!!!

2011-09-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

THAT'S what the REAL world is for!

How amusing! Watching people FREAK OUT over a few changes, that, truth be told, have made life just a LITTLE easier for those of us who feel the need to live in a digital world.

So the interface got a little easier to use, the lack of being able to 'not be online' without ACTUALLY being SEEN is infuriating 'I was NOT at home, I was at SCHOOL!' 'But you've leveled up NINE TIMES IN FARMVILLE today, Little Jimmy! I know this, cause I milked you're cows!'

People are ALL in a flutter and I cannot help but laugh! I like it, actually, and the general consensus is, if you don't... there's always Google+, which, is kind of obvious that THAT is the reason for all these changes, maybe Google+ IS actually better and made FB pull it's socks up, ever think of that?

No-one's in there yet, but it won't be long! Hoaxes have been limiting many FB users for too long and I am here to dispel THE TWO MAIN ONES for you!

Before I do, however, I'd like to tell you how I did it.

I read the fine print, is all. Here we go:

Facebook does NOT own you're pics, YOU DO!

They will NOT claim them to use them for anything (although the whole Police raping FB when you've been embroiled in some scandal IS a grey area, damn Federal ruling!)

Facebook will NOT start charging for the use of their site, it says it right there on the LOGIN page, which, it would seem that no-one reads anyway, and it reads thusly; 'Facebook is free... And always will be.' Cause if they did start charging, Mark Zuckerberg and the others who founded our digital society would be sued by every account on the planet, so they're kind of screwed on THAT one!

Thirdly, it's only a friggin' social networking site, the way some people are behaving, it's like God came down to laugh at Jesus in Queensland HIMSELF! IT'S JUST NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!

Too many people depend on Facebook for the wrong reasons (according to Humanity, that is). I like it because it's the only stage I'm likely to be on for a loooong time, and unlike the real ones, you can hide me if you want... Well, you COULD, I'm not sure how that works now... But I digress...

It has been too, too funny to watch people split hairs over something that is so easy to fix: Stop whining and delete you're account, or do what everyone else will do and forget about it in a few days time, when it becomes the norm again.

It ain't brain surgery to READ the fine print on the settings page, it seems that FB are totally aware that these things are being spread around in hoax updates, but like Chinese whispers, they just get weirder and weirder, and rather than try and tell everyone in an 'important message from the founders of Facebook', they KNOW that some fool will stand up and declare THAT to be a hoax, too!

So DO YOURSELVES a favour, READ the fine print, IN THE SETTINGS SECTION, KNOW what you're rights are, and then sit back and watch the uneducated fry themselves in the pan of confusion.

There, I said it.

In other news, has anyone TRIED Google+ yet? It's kind of lonely in there, but at least no-one is bitching about it... Til' they get in there, I guess...

Smell Ya Later!

xVx

JESUS! QUEENSLAND! WTF?!?!

2011-09-18T19:10:00.000-07:00

Did you watch ACA last night? Did you hear the news? Jesus is alive and well, and living in Queensland!

He turned up (or washed up) right after the Queensland floods, and proclaimed to his followers with broken lives that his return shall herald the new awakening... Or something.

He's even got Mary, his disciples and the same friggin' hair do, which let's face it, after two thousand years you would have thought he might have opted for something a little more... modern, but who am I to judge?

His followers are convinced that by giving their sins a name, like: 'Bad Spirits' will make them feel better and lead them to salvation.... The first problem I have with this is, giving you're sins a scapegoat will NOT make things better, they're YOU'RE sins, and NO-ONE is to blame but YOU! The second is, if a bad spirit 'possesses' you and makes you drink all night long, or take drugs, or shag some pig at the bar, then surely the same thing can be applied for a good spirit 'possessing' you to donate to charity, or sharing you're heels, but oh, no!

It's FINE to be possessed by a spirit that controls you're life, according to Jesus from Queensland, just as long as it's not the bad ones... Riiiiight....

Not too sure on this one kids, the guy is a wee bit clever and made all these predictions that ANYONE could do: Of COURSE the world will be in turmoil in four years (it is now, DUH!), of COURSE there will be dramatic and deadly natural disasters in the years to come (there are NOW) and of COURSE there will be mass panic in a few years (2012 is scaring the SHIT out of some people, remember Y2K?)...

You don't need to proclaim to be Jesus, or even PSYCHIC to predict this, it's happening anyway, and half of the prophecies he has made have been floating around the internet for years, which is where it's at; When was the last time you read an original Facebook Status Update?!

He's raised all this money from his followers to buy land in Queensland for his... Sanctuary (or whatever you wanna call it), yet the land owners are 'donating' it to him anyway, and no-one bothered to point out the obvious: What's he gonna do with all their money when the land was GIVEN to him in the first place?

Oh, did I mention that he used to be in Real Estate? Coincidence? THAT sure as shit was not in The Bible!

On one hand it's complete bunk. On the other... what if he WAS? I mean, the second we started bagging him, the power went out, you never know really, do you?

Of COURSE Jesus would turn up in Queensland and give sermons to people in desperate situations, it's totally the FIRST place you'd come after a millenia of being crucified, but I think you'd have to agree, that... There are far worse places in more dire situations than Queensland that need his help.

So I'm not buying it. I'm not saying he DOESN'T exist, but I'm not saying that he DOES, either... Cause if he did, I'd be in DEEP SHIT, I'm sure!

On things for sure, I sure as shit ain't traveling up to The Sunshine Coast to find out!!!

Til next time, Gentle Sinners,

MWAH!

Nearly Bedtime! (and it shows...)

2011-09-15T04:58:00.001-07:00

I cannot BELIEVE how positive I have been lately, it makes me SICK to the stomach, I feel like I've been possessed by the goodness that Olivia Newton John is known for!

I'm a Scorpio, so it just DOES NOT FEEL NATURAL!

I will, however milk it for all its worth and am determined to ride this wave of goodness for all she's friggin' worth. Strapped to the front of a boat like them crusty old gargoyles on them pirate ships that you only see nowadays with Johnny Depp swinging from the left tit to thwart off a foe, whilst I am sprayed with the foam from the Ocean of Life, lookin' like a RIGHT mess, but thrilled at the strange sense of ecstasy that a new direction brings.

What am I saying, my dears? Not a lot, but the point remains that I am rather enjoying a challenge nowadays and strangely feel at odds with myself. TOOK LONG ENOUGH! But I do, there, I said it.

So much so that I feel that it is time that I go out and find me a man! A real man, a good man, a true man, and ride around the country in a combi van, that's the plan, Jan!

First I have to figure out how all this dating stuff goes, what to wear (It's not easy to find something stylish when you resemble a metrosexual Lesbian from the Northern Suburb's), Drama Queens are out, (so no spitting at the waiter for looking me in the eye), and most importantly, who's paying.

I know I'm tight, but I've had to be in the past, THAT'S all changed now, and what a relief! So I'm totally up for paying my own way, until the third date, then it's crunch time....

But I digress, I have to FIND a guy FIRST! And that might take a while, I was never one to run and dive into a pool when I first got there, I had to be dramatic and gracefully 'enter' the deep end with about as much class as a Dugong with a hard on, but in my head 'LOOK OUT ESTHER WILLIAMS!', but if that analogy means what I think it does, then we're ALL screwed!'

Oh, the joys of being young and naive, I don't miss it. You wouldn't catch me going back to 19 again if I had the chance.... NO WAY! Nuh-uh! No Siree Bob, I LOVE the age I'm at now and if it holds off for another five years before I turn 33, I'll be happy.

Well, that's enough ramblings for today, it's time for me to slip into the night.

I'm going to leave you with my favorite quote from my favorite entertainer;

Find your light, they can't love you if they can't see you - Bette Midler

I think there's something in that for all of us, don't you?

Til' next time, Gentle Readers,

MWAH!

Flicking Off Foxtel, Bootin' Up The Floppy And Pregnant Pussies.

2011-08-28T21:40:00.001-07:00

Were getting rid of Foxtel. Why? Well, were fed up with all these GREAT new specials to lure new customers in, yet there is no incentive to keep the old customers there. And there's not going to be, either.

So after much deliberation we decided (after an amusing chat with the Foxtel 'help' center), that it was better, cheaper and easier to hook up a computer to the telly and watch things online. For FREE. WITH NO ADS! God knows there are HUNDREDS of sites out there that cater for such things, and I know SEVERAL of them, and unlike Foxtel programming, there's no incessant REPEATS to fill in a potentially LETHAL timeslot!

looking forward to being able to watch what we want, when we want, and not have it repeated two hours later when there is nothing on. You can even watch old shows that are no longer in syndication (except Secret Valley, no-one wants to replay that!), and the beauty of it is, the whole ENTERTAINMENT world is in ones grasp!

In OTHER news, Basil is pregnant again so were waiting for a little den in the linen cupboard to appear, god KNOWS Cats like to give birth in strange places, but I told her that I draw the line on the fridge, where she's been known to perch and glare and scare the shit out of those who aren't expecting it!

She's trying to outdo Beyonce by giving birth first... I think she'll win.

isn't flicking through a trash mag like watching Home and Away? One day, someone like little Kingston Rossdale is in a stroller, then the next week the little fucker
is flaunting High Fashion as a nine year old in front of a Starbucks somewhere, these kids seem to grow up faster than anyone EVER did on H&A!

Like, who remembers little Sally who, overnight - BLAM! Norks! And someone whose preggers on this show can give birth to a nine month old, who the following month is going to Kindy, but my, aren't I going on a bit?

While Irene is lashing the Big Apple and peace is being restored in London, generally speaking, the world is rather quiet at the moment, there's nothing really to bitch about.

Except Lady Gaga. How long can she keep this shit up for? When Madonna did the whole reinvention thing, it wasn't EVERY SINGLE DAY, there WAS a down time, and even she had the decency to THINK about what came out of her mouth before she let rip!

We should call her Lady Saturation, she's overdoing it, one day she's gonna get a picture of her in trakkies and a singlet taken, you know, being REAL, like the rest of us but even then I don't think people will care. The meat dress has put everyone off, I think.... NEVER underestimate the power of Giblets, my dears...

But how DARE I diss The Gaga! I guess anyone that refers to her fans as 'Little Monsters' kind of signifies that she's like one of those Mothers who adopts ANYONE who walks through the door, gets them to do their dirty work, then never calls unless she wants something...

Sigh...

Now all I have to do is go out to get that cord, from the comp to the TV and I can get back to it!

Til' next time, Gentle Readers!

MWAH!!

Incessant Ramblings...

2011-08-21T22:28:00.000-07:00

I was about to commit suicide by overdosing on the Kardashian Syndrome when I got an E-Mail out of the blue from someone that I haven't heard in a LOOOONG time, and in fact, the LAST time I had anything to do with this kid was right here, on this very blog. Needless to say, my heart thumped a beat as I was SURE I was going to cop it, but no... Thank GOD for people having a sense of HUMOUR!

And then I thought, well, it serves you RIGHT for reading posts from 2008, Bradley Tanner! Although I actually have to agree with him, when I HAVE, on occasion read blog posts from YEARS ago and how funny they were/are, I am surprised that I haven't been smacked in the mouth yet! Although, it would take a pretty big fist to do THAT, and after the childhood that I had, it's hardly necessary. It didn't work then, it sure as shit won't work now!

Ya can't keep a good bitch down!

But I digress, as I have one foot firmly in the Ghosts of Blogposts past, and the other in what's left of the internet, it got me thinking, Why, oh WHY can't I keep up with Twitter?

It's too much! It's really just a status update without a page to glare at whilst you wonder what to write next, and I know that you can post things at the same time on Myspace, Twitter AND Facebook, but how much shit can one person handle?!?!?

All this technology really makes me laugh, I SWEAR that were gonna end up like the humans on Wall-E, too fat to do anything without a prying wand! Some of us might already BE there, but I won't go on in such a way as to IMPLY anyone...

Another thing that really gets me thinking is lately the people who aren't IN a decent relationship seem to want to destroy those that ARE. Oh, don't look at me, I'm jealous as all HELL, what I'd GIVE to have someone that could deal with.... this, but for now, all I can do is revel in other peoples happiness whilst around them, the associates that have been cleverly masked as 'friends', some for more than TEN YEARS are trying to ruin what they don't have themselves.

Not only is it sad, but its really rather puerile behavior at best. I cannot STAND it when a relationship starts, then all of a sudden, the happy couple find themselves swimming with sharks who are hell bent on ripping them limb, from limb, and then proudly proclaiming how 'I KNEW they wouldn't last' when the last morsel is torn from the hearts that beat as one...

WHY would anyone BOTHER?

Because everyone has needs. Some need to love, others need to destroy what they don't have. It's worse when it comes from people that SHOULD know better, but HEY! It was a GREAT recovery and it was sooo funny at the time....

pack of cunts.

Jeeezus, you'd think I was in a relationship! No not me (shock horror), but some of my close friends are, and it bothers me to see people we've known act like a thousand seagulls about to rip Dory into pieces, and it really says a lot about our current social state, but then again, what DOESN'T, in this town?

I would like a relationship one day, but until I conquer my demons, that won't happen as I won't risk screwing someone else up in the process of 'finding myself', which is better done, by ONESELF, then and only then, shall I go out and land me some poor worm.

Sure, it gets lonely, but I take solace in the fact that I haven't wasted someones heart and time whilst trying to fix my own, but my, aren't I going on a bit???

For example, I have learn't that there is NO POINT in ASKING me how things are; I'm going to TELL you anyway, can you IMAGINE how many guys would have dumped me over that shit alone?

It was funny to see Albert in The Birdcage, but no-one wants to see it in real life, and THAT was TOTALLY where I was heading, but didn't want to find myself on a park bench someday looking like a RIGHT fag and proclaiming how aware I was about being ridiculous, sashaying my way through life.

Thank GOD I stopped THAT before I called Dr. Euthanasia!

It's only NOW, in my ... VERY early thirties that I am beginning to see what I have to offer, and aside from a slight weight issue, I can't really see TOO much that would deter me from 'entering the market', and NOT just to buy a tomato, either!

I wouldn't DARE go on to Grindr, as I have no I-Phone, but I am totally considering seeing whats out there on offer... I'll have to change my mantra from : I've got two hands, I can do it myself, to: I've got someone ELSE'S two hands that are waaaay better at it than I am!

You never know you're luck in a moderately sized city!

Til next time, gentle Blogheads,

MWAH!

xVx

Having Ones Cake And Eating It Too

2011-08-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

Equality. If It's alright for Centerlink to penalise us for being in a relationship, surely it SHOULD be enough for the Government to let same sex marriage be legal.

But no. Apparently not yet. Oh, it's FINE if you got married in NEW YORK, THEN it's 'recognised' in our own country, but not if we get married here, how does THAT work?

Then someone came up to me the other day and said something that rang true to me, and was only confirmed MORE when a few other people were sharing the same opinions on Facebook.

It's all good and fine to be protesting for equal rights against the establishment, but how can we do that when we don't even treat our own KIND with the same demand for equality?

And I'm pretty sure that if you think long and hard enough, there may be a little bit of truth in that for all of us.

We have spent SO LONG fighting for our rights to become an accepted part of the world when there are parts of our own community that we try to ignore/disown/put down.

This kind of behaviour has always been prevalent within our scene, but not quite so much on the scale that it is now. The reason why I feel the need to bring it up is there are too many people that share the same opinion.

We keep on fighting for acceptance, yet STILL put a hierarchy within the 'ladder' of sociability that makes us different from 'the average person', and that, I feel is a major problem.

The politics within ANY society is unavoidable, sure, yet ours seems to be rusted barbed wire on a broken fence that NO-ONE seems to want to fix, as our first and only goal is to become accepted by the norm. Not accepted from within our own group FIRST, which would make sense, but lets tackle the wider scope BEFORE were all cool with our own sub-culture/lifestyle/sexual orientation, whatever the FUCK one wants to call it nowadays.

Gone are the days when Lesbians and Queens would be like wet cats when in the same room, but on the street united as one. Now, it seems that it's each person for their own... What USED to make us different, is now going against the grain, and kind of freakish... How did THAT happen?

One day we'll live in a perfect world where anyone can marry whomever they want to without fuss, or muss, until then, it's starts from within (our society)... One question DOES spring to mind, though: After the whole marriage thing, what's next?

We've been known for making noise and protesting at the drop of the hat, but after this marriage ban.... What else is there left to fight for?

There's nothing WORSE than a quiet queen, imagine a whole SCENE of them!

There is no question, times are changing... I myself, need to buy a new watch. I'll admit it, I'm not really a fan of going out anymore. Times HAVE changed, that happens! But there is also nowhere of our own to go that doesn't obsess on youth, (that IS where the money is after all!).

Whatever happened to a venue that catered for people who like to TALK without doof doof pumping in the ears whilst yelling to hear the latest bitchy comment while the gum falls from the dewey eyed youth's mouth that continues to chew without it?

Life revolves around money nowadays more so than ever, which is why there is no venue for people who choose not to blow it on a one night high. And that's a shame. Our scene is ten times bigger than what frequents the nightlife, yet most of those have had their FUN in the nightlife and this is why I believe they all want to get married and have kids and a nice suburban life. Cause there is nowhere else to GO when you're over thirty but out to witness the kids make a right mess of themselves. (and we've been there, done that!)

How many venues have crumbled under 'not enough support' 'too much indulgence' and 'nothing to do' or just 'being drilled to the ground'? I take my hat off to venues that stay open for longer than a year and doesn't go down without a scandal, it happens so rarely now...

bitch, bitch, bitch!

So says the Queen who 'cancels' everything, Life got in the way and rent had to be paid, but hey! I'm nothing but a contradicting mess now cause I myself have fallen victim to this: pay rent, or entertain the masses for the pittance that isn't even a THIRD of rent... But it's easier to point and moan about things than it is to find yourself in the real world with no-one beside you.

And that's probably why I can't be bothered anymore. What's the point? There is no money in it, and I'm sorry, but money is now a priority for me: rent, bills etc. There's just no getting by on Drag and Drag alone, unless that is ALL you're fortunate enough to do. Which I'm not. And I'm ok with that, really I am, but my, aren't I going on a bit...

Til next time, Gentle Readers...

MWAH!

Loonbook And The Like...

2011-08-16T04:13:00.000-07:00

Ah, Facebook, Facebook, BOOKFACED!

My, how times have CHANGED, my dears! Gone are the days when the loons would seep out of the walls in the dark corners of the club ready for a chance with a frocked up queen, now they find YOU on FACEBOOK!

I'd known about this for a while, but it's now becoming quite rife! I find the whole thing amusing, I mean, don't get me wrong, there's nothing WRONG with gettin' some loon action, we've ALL done it!(... Haven't we? ;P) Besides, EVERYONE knows at least ONE funny story involving a loon and a heel/balloon/letterbox and the like, I just find that having them on FB, chasing you like a rabid dog is stepping over the line a bit, no matter HOW funny it really is.. Like, can you just IMAGINE how many guys are getting busted by the Real Housewives Of Loonville all across the world when E-Mails are read, pictures are witnessed and sometimes, videos...

They should make a show about THAT!

Facebook; Connecting People Through Fetishes!

bet the founding fathers of Facebook didn't see THIS coming!

To Smoke, Or Not To Smoke...

2011-08-10T05:37:00.000-07:00

Did I NOT just say it? Hollywood is fucked? They're remaking Dirty Dancing.... As if the 'sequel' wasn't bad enough? Surely one could look at High School Musical and think that it MAY have started off being the new 'Grease', but clearly the director saw that it was a bad idea and turned it into something.... else, instead.

What's next, Harry Potter And The Deja-Vu of death?

Coming back to town now, there is a bit of a stink being kicked up about smokers. Now, those who know me not only am I aware that I smoke (sometimes I burn) a lot.
My choice, sure, I am also a considerate smoker when out in public, I stand about four feet from a bus stop if I've lit up, JUST IN CASE, the mong sitting down spits something about the fumes, but I do.

Now, not only are Cafes and Restaurants that have outside seating going to have to get around it (with, less customers mind you), Rundle Mall is to become smoke-free, too? Not COMPLETELY against the idea, but unlike the whole Gay Marriage thing, I feel that a compromise is in order!

By saying NO altogether, means less shoppers (for a while, but that's all it takes for the odd business to close), and more of our rights being taken away, WITHOUT the possibility for a win/win situation.

If they WANTED to, they would stop making Cigarettes. But they DON'T want to, the revenue they get from this product is what's keeping the country afloat.

Fact #1: Australia is the ONLY country in the world that hikes more than ten percent tax on this product... Try 75%

Fact #2: If they WERE to ban smoking and tobacco products, crime and the black market would resemble London at the moment, I'm sorry, but it's true.

Fact #3: Upon having the ban, SOMETHING will have to pay for that massive hole that Cigarettes fill the tills with... You're everyday staples like, bread, or milk would inevitably soar to something like, nine dollars a litre/loaf, and THAT'S just the staples!

Fact #4: No-one likes a little smoke from time to time if you're a non-smoker, but livers are disintegrating lives through Alcohol faster than smokes are ruining lungs, but don't mention Alcohol, the biggest killer of them all!

Compromise is what is needed. Sure SOME places should be smoke free, but to keep everyone happy, we'll need designated smoking pits/alleys, WHATEVER, until SOMEONE speaks up for the pigeons.

Them digital cigarettes are AMAZING, but they'll clearly give the tobacco companies a run for their money, I like them a lot! Nothing but vapor, no smell, no smoke, just a pure nicotine hit that you won't even KNOW it's been inhaled. Or exhaled. Or legalised.

I'm not advocating those digital fags so that I can 'light up on a plane', but man, it would be GREAT to 'smoke' without smoking in public so that no-one can bitch about it...

We don't LIVE in a perfect world, we're not GOING to live in a perfect world (mostly because ONE person will complain about something, then it's all over anyway, so why bother trying?), why then, can't we just come to a friggin' compromise on these issues?

Cause it ain't perfect, that's why! The only time the world is perfect is when someone is on Facebook. EVERYONE (myself included) is a pillar of society, perfect in every way, RIGHT in EVERY opinion, and we ALL have the status updates to prove it... It's just when we get OUT that it becomes a problem....

I think there's something in that for all of us don't you?

Til next time, Gentle Readers,

MWAH!

I Say This To Myself With Love, Compassion And The True Meaning Of Sisterhood.... I Am FULL of SHIT!!!

2011-08-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

Can you BELIEVE that last post, what was I thinking? It has been OVER a year since I fumbled about in the dark, entertaining the masses with this little page of words, and yes, I have returned!

No longer shall I sit back and keep my bitten lip from pustulating all over the shop, one thing is for sure, you WON'T find me on Facebook under an assumed profile, firing shots left right and center without being caught, oh no, not me. HERE, it comes STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSES ARSE!

Can you believe that it has been over a YEAR?! And what has happened in that time that has kept me to be so quiet over the last thirteen months?

I got a job. I know, how dreary! I got a job as a Chicken Shop Goddess. Granted, it wasn't CALLED that in the paper when I went for it, but it made it so much more... validating?! HOWEVER, no-one TOLD me when I applied that it would mean not having a life WHATSOEVER, but most of you are all too aware of that fact, so in true VS fashion, we shall bypass the facts for some light entertainment.

Here we go: Since I've been gone; (takes BIG breath)

I was right! Facebook HAS consumed the internet, Noni Nazelburst garnered a whole new slew of fans by using the F word, Georgie Parker added some REAL talent to Home and Away, The Government decided that we can't get married, but Centerlink said 'Fuck it' and penalized gay couples anyway, Julia Gillard is the first Ranga as PM... Ok, the first FEMALE PM, Kevin Rudd had surgery on his heart to prove that he DOES have one, Arnie got busted fertilizing Hollywood, Mike Myers came out (and no-one cared), Amy Winehouse died (and no-one cared. I'm PRESUMING that it's because she didn't die choking on her own vomit, but... it's a shame nonetheless), The Divine Miss M took on Vegas, then Vegas went all hip (I wonder what she has done for Hospitals now that she's confined to one... For the moment, anyway).

Barbra Streisand threatened the public with a remake of Gypsy, (and no-one cared), Mariah gave BIRTH to twins, but she named them to match her 'other' twins (Morroccan and Monroe), you know, the ones the public are familiar with? Madonna is STILL kickin'... Lady Gaga, well, she... she just is, ok? Like thrush, it'll be a while til it goes away. Justin Bieber, the worlds richest singing sensation, yet no-one seems to actually LIKE anything about him...

Harry Potter waved his wand for the last time, but it's ok because you can go to Harry Potterland in Florida, Twilight is so huge now that soon it will boast it's OWN theme park... It'll be nothing but trees, and forestry... Perhaps a baying wolf on audio, but my, aren't I going on a bit?!?

Japan turned green when the earthquake hit, so don't buy canned Tuna (for a COMPLETELY different reason, you understand?) London is burning, AGAIN! Chris Lilley; Could he BE anymore genius?! The Lady with the Lavender gaze left us; Miss Elizabeth Taylor passed away, Queensland had that dreadful flood, then Victoria HAD to involve themselves (if they hadn't siphoned off The Murray, this would NEVER HAVE HAPPENED!)

Tony Modra threatened a comeback, and no-one cared, PLANKING became the DUMBEST craze, but everyone was doing it, so it was OK. Bill Hunter passed away, an Aussie legend. The Kardashians are now bigger than Nicole and Paris, but never fear, cause in a year, we'll be saying Kim who?

Rupert Murdoch wasted peoples money by screwing the media to fuck privacy over, but he owns a third of the world now, so he'll never go down for it. DOLLY IS COMING DOWN UNDER! She's also touring Australia at the end of the year, which is a boon, I have to say.

Wicked has been and gone, Mary Poppins is apparently AWESOME (when the brolly opens, that is. Friggin' 'technical' difficulties, PHHH!), Avenue Q was SO GOOD that Matt Byrne felt the need to revamp it. It's been so LONG since I saw amateur theater, I can't WAIT! West Side Story flew in to town, and then flew right out again after the realization that if you're going to modernize something, it's probably best to modernize THE WHOLE THING. FABULOUS cast, though.

Priscilla opened on Broadway, with Bette Midler as producer and fresh from Vegas, she POURED money into it. And it shows! Youtube it! (SHAMELESS promotion for my girl!)

Delta Goodrem (she's SOY good!) got with one of the Jonas Brothers, but she got with the gay one so it's a moot point, really. Kesha does nothing but piss everyone off and Chris Brown proved that it doesn't matter if you're abusive when you're hot. Well, he's STILL in the papers, ain't he? Sophie Monk should take HIM up on an offer! Even if it's just for publicity, although we'd all know it would be just another excuse to see the rhinoplasty surgeon.... anyone know what she's actually DOING in the tabloids???
We all thought we'd seen Mel Gibson go COMPLETELY loopy....Then he goes and makes a movie about a beaver.... Charlie Sheen made Mel look like Dick Clarke though... I'm sure Ashton will rise to the occasion.

They're remaking remakes now, Hollywood's gone TOO far! Or not far enough, you decide.

Kylie Minogue proved (to me) what it's like to be gay. I've never screamed so much in my life! I SWEAR I stopped yelling out 'CHARLENE!!!' by the third number. How that girl became a human watersport and lived to tell the tale is BEYOND me!

So you can see it's been one HELL of a year! Most of which I was lucky to avoid, life in a chicken shop means no life at all, but I STILL managed to pull through.... Thank GOD! I wish the same could be said about so many others... But my, aren't I going on a bit?!

Til next time, gentle readers.... Ah, it's good to be back!

Fairly Well, My Dears (In online terms only)

2010-07-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Gentle Readers,

It's become evident that I just don't have time for blogging anymore (anyone else feel that? I think Loco just fell off her chair). I'm afraid that I am going to have to tear it down. I've had so much fun putting this little blurb online, and anyone that got anything out of it, from shits and giggles to full-blown drag wars, the time has come to put this baby to rest.

Oh, I'm not going anywhere, but when I DO have more time to commit to this site like I used to, then I shall bring a whole new webSITE, not just a blog.

Only next time will be better, I can assure you all here and now.

Thank you to everyone who's supported this little piece of the internet, I will now be known for meandering my way through the narcissistic land we call Facebook, liking comments at random, and throwing philosophy to the wind when someone posts why their life sucks, so it's not ALL bad, I shall have to condense my blog posts into status updates is all... But I WILL continue to host Bingo At the Hampshire Hotel, and then who knows - The SKY IS THE LIMIT! ... But my, I AM going on a bit...

Until we meet again, I thank you.

MWAH!

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