This Girl Loves Video Games

Why I Stopped Playing WoW

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 00:44:00 +0000

The reason I considered going back to WoW was because of the new expansion coming out, Cataclysm. Of course I want to experience the awesome changes coming to WoW, but truly I cannot see myself playing through the boredom again.

It has been about six months since I quit WoW and I’m thankful for the extra 15$ a month I have in my pocket, because I spend 20$ for three months of Xbox Live now.

I spent many hours on WoW, I had four level forty characters and enjoyed my time there for over a year. I mostly stayed to play with friends, but even they could not cure my boredom. Find quest, complete quest, find another quest, complete quest; nothing changed and I discovered I was becoming a pet collector.

Blizzard has a beautiful storyline and I truly thought this was going to help me find a consistent game for RPGing, because all of my friends are flakes and busy, but it turned out to be a repetitive bit of slop. An addicting slop I consumed almost daily to help replace a tabletop game feel, but WoW never did.

Also, I felt depressed I was celebrating holidays online and making tons of gold by selling holiday products. This honestly scared me, because I was proud of the gold I earned through selling pixel generated items.

My school was suffering, my job was suffering, my personal relationships suffered, I’m very glad I quit, because it was creeping into too much of my life. Furthermore, it became boring and thankfully, my ADD kicked in and decided to find something creative to do, like write an article, a short story, make a silly video, anything but waste time on a boring MMORPG.

Many people become addicted to WoW, but they would just pick a different way to be obsessed if WoW did not exist. I’m glad I am unscathed, but I know many families and friends who are still trying to revive their addicted loved ones.

Of course, WoW was not the only game I could blame, in general anything can become an addiction, but what made games especially harmful was how they become a reality to people. Food, money, sex, at least these forms of addiction were apart of the real world, as for WoW it was like developing schizophrenia.

Luckily many people quit when a game becomes boring, like me, but I saw why people become addicted so easily, any activity with a sense of accomplishment pulled people in and made them want more. It was so easy to accomplish goals and it made me feel good too, but I left and I have no intentions of returning.

There are many sites to help with this form of addiction:

http://www.wowdetox.com/
http://m.wikihow.com/Break-a-World-of-Warcraft-Addiction
http://www.squidoo.com/wowaddicts

Dungeon Fighter Online: Review

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 00:50:00 +0000

Dungeon Fighter Online was a game bringing me back in time where Super Nintendo reigned supreme in story and graphics.

It was a MMO and it impressed me with the simple details, like how your character would cut the grass if he attacked, between the pixels.

Class selection: Slayer, Fighter, Mage, Priest, and Gunner

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For the rest of the article: Dungeon Fighter Online: Review

My XBox Scratched My Disc

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 02:44:00 +0000

Apparently, when the Xbox 360 is upright there is a risk of the disc inside being moved and scratched within. You do not even have to move the Xbox for this to happen, any movement can be fatal to the disc.

I tried all the tricks to fix the disc, cleaning it, toothpaste, professional fix-it-kits, the game still plays, but it takes two minutes to load any online game.

Luckily, my local Gamestop will take the disc as defective and give me a deal for a new or used game.

However, my question is why is Microsoft ignoring this obvious flaw in their design?
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For the rest of the article go here: My Xbox Scratched My Disc

Movie and Game Prince of Persia

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:22:00 +0000

I have only played Prince of Persia: Warrior Within and The Two Thrones, but they have stuck with me because I still press L1, despite the controller I’m using, in hopes of turning back time.

For a video game movie Prince of Persia: Sands of Time was good. Especially when I could see how quick time events could be used within the movie and eventually in game.

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For the rest of the article: Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Was a Good Movie Redition of the Video Game

What JRPGs Taught Me About College

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Wed, 19 May 2010 06:08:00 +0000

1. There was and always will be bureaucracy.

What exactly is a bureaucracy? How I define it is a bunch of soft handed sissies who stand behind the scenes to remain blameless when any shortfall comes to light. They also like to dance around with red tape and count the millions of dollars wasted on shoddy plans for short fixes.

All JRPGs have a large figure who pulls the stings of the game. Most of them are greedy, over powered and over fed presidents, kings or sly magicians who are really sissies but hard to cut through, like red tape.

2. You get what you pay for. San Jose State is the cheapest college in the area, so it is assumed the education reflects the cost. It’s not horrible, but like buying weapons/accessories in a JRPG, more money equals better quality.

For the rest of this article: San Jose Girl Gamer Examiner: What JRPGs Taught Me About College

Three Kingdoms: It's a RTS: Review

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Tue, 11 May 2010 05:16:00 +0000

What? Was this female complaining about how the game cheated her out of scantily clad warriors? Yes, I am complaining, because it was false advertising and I felt like a teenage boy on Playboy.com and suddenly my computer crashed from viruses.

For the rest of this article: Three Kingdoms: Game Review

Battle On Games: Dragon Fable: Review

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Wed, 05 May 2010 20:47:00 +0000

This gaming site featured an online game updated every week based on players input and the creative minds of the creators.

Most of the games were fantasy based, but there was one sci-fi on the list. I’m a sucker for dragons so I decided to play the Dragon Fable storyline and was thrown into a high fantasy.

Of course, one of my first complaints, and a common one, I had was how the only race was human. I stand by the statement as how playing a human online while you are really a human seems boring.

***

for the rest of this article please visit my new site:

San Jose Girl Gamer Examiner

It's a great site where you can write what you want and get paid for it.

California Tries to Ban Violent Video Games to Minors-Thank God they Failed

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 20:25:00 +0000

I head about this proposed law yesterday while listening to KGO 810 and I commented promptly as to how I believe parents are responsible for what games their children buy, not the gaming industries, the stores or even the government.

The two laws were passed in 2005, but have not been enforced yet. Luckily, the U.S. Court of Appeals are debating if the laws were unconstitutional, despite how it might protect children from the horrors of video games.

One of my greatest fears is how laws pass “for the sake of the children”. This is not only a dangerous tactic but a useful one as well. I’m glad I have freedom of speech here in America and I understand it only reaches to protecting me from my government, not my work or any other private industry. This proposed law obviously stretches to a violation of freedom of speech, even if it only proposes banning “M” rated game sales to minors.

My question is always, “What’s next?” It seems well and good at first, protecting the children, but what is the governments definition of violence? The video game industry already has a very harsh rating system in place to inform buyers what the ratings mean. But, I fear if a parent if offended to how Mario smashes goombas Nintendo may have a problem with even their “E” rated games.

Another issue is how people presume violent video games induce violent acts. However, there is no actual study, other then through correlation, as to how video games affect violent tendencies. It is also very difficult to perform a random study, because people will not play a video game unless they want to, so it defeats the purpose of random selection.

With all of the acceptance and tolerance thrown around about religion, sexual preferences and other social issues, I wonder if privacy, free speech and safety are balanced now. I think people are so concerned about being safe we forget how quickly we are loosing our Bill of Rights.

It may just be video games for now, but I really try to think as to how it could change the larger picture of freedom of speech. The government would love to chip away at it because it is the people’s greatest weapon against politicians.

So, all I can say is write to the California legislature, including the governor, and tell them how you feel about these laws. Also, don’t forget to write to your own State legislature about this and tell them you are thoroughly against any such laws prohibiting freedom of speech, even if it is for the sake of the children.

Children do not stay children forever, so don’t reduce their rights for limited safety.

E-Mail Schwarzenegger NOW!

Earth Eternal: Power to the Credit

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 04:52:00 +0000

<p>&amp;amp;lt;iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=vigagiinabowo-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;o=1&amp;amp;amp;amp;p=8&amp;amp;amp;amp;l=bpl&amp;amp;amp;amp;asins=B000067FDW&amp;amp;amp;amp;fc1=000000&amp;amp;amp;amp;IS2=1&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt1=_blank&amp;amp;amp;amp;m=amazon&amp;amp;amp;amp;lc1=0000FF&amp;amp;amp;amp;bc1=000000&amp;amp;amp;amp;bg1=FFFFFF&amp;amp;amp;amp;f=ifr" style="padding-top: 5px; width: 131px; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" align="left" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"&amp;amp;gt;</p>What first caught my eye about Earth Eternal was the point it made to having no human characters. No offense to MMORPGs and many other games, but humans are boring to play because they are average to play.

You do not have to download the game to your computer, you can, making the download time faster, but it really doesn’t matter. There are over 20 races to choose from and three body types. It’s very simple and sometimes it’s hard to see the difference between the male and female, but it has a certain charm.

There are only 4 classes to choose from: knight, rogue, druid, mage, and it doesn’t matter what race you choose, there is no benefit to having a fox as a rogue versus a bear, so it’s limited. It would be nice for them to add some advantages to the classes depending on which animal you choose, but I think they were attempting to make it simple and fun for kids.

The graphics took me back to the 90s because it reminded me of “Beast Wars”, innovative for its time, but very primitive when you compare it to WoW or Team Fortress 2. It wasn’t horrible, just a little rough and cartoony.

Controlling your character was pretty much the same as for any MMORPG, but I did not like having to click for my auto attack. It’s supposed to be auto right, so why do I have to click on it? This annoyed me and it’s really my only complaint as for character movement.

However, the major disappointment was when I spoke to a player, Slypaw Rogue, and he told me the new download made the game more focused towards buying credits. . He was a level 47 knight and felt cheated as a long-term player to how they handled credit buying, “It would take years” he wrote, “to get the good armor and weapons” for any free player.

(Another Overhyped Video)^^

It was sad to see how companies forget about the players who were there from the beginning and decided to shaft them of they fun by making money the main point within the game. There is nothing wrong with making money, but doing it tactfully and ensuring even free players can still reasonably achieve the best items is key to keeping players happy and playing.

Sadly, the small uniqueness of no human characters did not keep my interest for long especially when a company is willing to sacrifice player enjoyment for sheer cash intake. Many players are already leaving for better MMORPG pastures and I wish them luck.

MMORPGs: Stagnet Storytelling Waters

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 22:19:00 +0000

MMORPGs are very fun to play with your friends and a healthy way of escapism into a fantastic world where you can be a bloodthirsty warrior or cunning mage, without ever leaving the comfort of your home. However, I feel MMORPGs in general have slammed into a rut of repetition and I’m wondering about the ultimate future of massive online gaming.

Of course when someone hears MMORPG World of Warcraft automatically comes to mind. I personally love the storytelling and the beautiful world Blizzard created to involve gamers with world events similar to real life.

With the “Cataclysm” expansion coming out soon for WoW, everyone is excited and chatting away about the dramatic changes happening to the world. I am also excited, but I still feel like it’s just a thin cover to keep older players on while immense repetition remains.

Honestly, I forget there is even a story while I’m clicking away through quests without much concern for the outcome. My choices do not matter, I do not need to take quests, the world will do just fine without me completing the dungeon. This is where MMORPGs fail in storytelling, the world ultimately doesn’t change due to player participation.

MMORPGs are becoming stagnated in this lack of flexibility within the world. I think it’s time to change the repetitive quest and create a world where every choice can you change the environment.

Tabletop RPGs consider the player’s choices and by directly engaging players; it makes the story more personal and fun to play. Imagine if your choices on a MMORPG changed the game, it would make the story matter again and engage the player to think wisely.

It would pose new challenges to storytellers, game developers and players, but there is a surplus of creative people up to the challenge of allowing players to shape the game.

I do not believe technology is up to standard to keep up with this immense idea in MMORPGs, but when they can, whomever does it first will blow all other MMORPGs out of the water and bring life back online.

Not everyone will be happy with this new engaging idea, but there could be special servers who just support repetitive quests and flat plots. But, I believe it will re-invent MMORPGs for the better by keeping the player on their toes and playing to see how their choices change the world.

"M" is for Mature

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:00:00 +0000

When I’m playing Left for Dead or Halo I expect to find a well rounded bunch of players (mostly boys) who are ready to kick some bad butt, not a screaming nine-year-old.

Both of the games mentioned are rated “M” for mature (or immature, depends how you look at it) players due to sex, violence or language. I understand the video game industry has some of the most stringent guidelines in ratings, but I think it’s better safe than sorry, especially when you consider how sue happy people are.

However, it is very unsavory to me to find a nine-year-old playing online at one a.m. on a school night. Sure they may be home schooled, but it still isn’t healthy for them to keep such irregular sleeping hours.

I understand some fathers buy games for themselves and want to enjoy it and let their children enjoy the fun, but at the same time it frightens me knowing children are shown such adult themes and violence. It may not be real, but why expose a child to it in the first place, especially when they may not understand what is happening.

I feel like the parent is being shellfish or downright irresponsible when they buy or let their children play mature games. I know kids games can be boring, but your parents suffered through endless board games with you.

I do feel that children’s games have become a bland mix of un-adventure and ground down plot, but there are still a few games out there appropriate for kids and fun for adults. It may take more work to find these games, but it’s the responsibility of the parent, not the gaming companies, to guide the child to appropriate games.

There is also a lack of knowledge to what these games hold within their boxes. I advise parents to buy a gaming magazine and read the reviews for upcoming games their children may want. Of course they may wine and complain, but you are the influential adult, so just say no.

I do believe this world is trying to make children grow up too fast and this has made the gaming industry loose touch with their child like side. Kids buy games too, but it doesn’t mean they have to be bland or boring, everyone was a kid once, just try to remember what excited you then and make a game out of it.

It’s hard to find games appropriate for Timmy, especially when he reaches the pree-teen age, where being a child is questionable, but being an adult is impossible. Gaming industries seem to have forgotten how to tell a good story and go for shock value.

For me, this has made games a little more than grotesque at times. There is a large difference between pushing the envelope and plainly for the sake of gore. I wouldn’t say Left 4 Dead or Halo have crossed this line, but games like Dante’s Inferno have crossed it, mainly with the excuse, “we’re in Hell”.

Parents, it’s time for you to just say no and tell video game companies what you want. There are games for kids, adults and families, the gaming industry has tried to accommodate but. we are the power consumer, we control what our children buy, take advantage of that power and give your child a healthy happy life.

Games I Recommend for Kids:
A Boy and His Blob: Wii
Legend of Zelda: Windwaker: Gamecube
Any of the Lego Adventures (Batman, Indiana Jones, Star Wars): Multiple Consoles
Any of the Super Mario games (I really liked Mario Galaxy): Wii, Gamecube, ect
Banjo Kazooie: Nintendo 64, New game on X-Box 360 (You can download it on the X-Box)
Pokemon Snap (or any of the Pokemon series, this is just my favorite): Nintendo 64 (Downloadable on Wii)
Spore: PC
Zoo/Roller Coaster ect...: PC

Little Big Planet: PS3
Viewful Joe: Gamecube
Pacman: Multiple consoles
Dance, Dance, Revolution: Multiple Consoles (and different versions, or plain rip-offs)

These are just a few of the games I grew up with and played (and still play), but don’t be afraid to explore yourself. I find these games are the least lame children’s games available.

Plants VS Zombies: All We Want is Brains and Ice Cream

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:29:00 +0000

Quickie: Download, Don't Buy the Monotony

My friend Mike introduced me to a new Pop Cap game highly inspired by a drug called LSD Plants VS Zombies. Thanks Mike, like I need another addiction.

Most Pop Cap games, like Peggle, Bejeweled and Insaniquarium feature overly cute characters and colors, making people with ADD become hopelessly addicted to the simple point gameplay.

I do not have a problem with casual games, in fact I love something simple and un-complex every once and a while just to feel like I accomplished something greater than myself. Also, these games meant for hours of gameplay, mainly because of the repetitiveness and simple goals like, kill the zombies.

Plants VS Zombies in particular features classic cute-Mario-world inspired plants designed to fight hordes of classic and pop-culture Zombies. It’s a nice twist to the Zombieland, Resident Evil and Left 4 Dead genera by adding killer-cute plants because I think the theme has been a little overdone.

Sure, this game was a great short distraction, but the levels are too long for my taste and buying the full version just to use different plants doesn’t seem worth it to me. I just wish they would add a fast-forward button, because sitting there waiting for the wave of corpses to come was b-o-r-i-n-g.

It's a simple game for simple players and there was nothing wrong with it as long as you take it in small doses, just like drugs. The industry makes millions of dollars by creating cheap-repetitive-games based on the human nature's need for something cute, fun, cheap, and achieving a simple accomplishment.

So, go ahead and kill some zombies with a peashooter, but save some cash.

Demos, demos, demos! Bayonetta, Divinity, Dante and Left 4 Dead 2

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 01:58:00 +0000

Quickie: Ignore the Bayonetta, Divinity, Dante, but check out Left 4 Dead 2

I have to say Microsoft is genius for having downloadable demos available because they have to compete with Gamefly somehow and sucker you into paying 40-60$ for a new game. So, I tested out Bayonetta: First Climax, Divinity II, Dante’s Inferno and Left for Dead 2 to find the best game of the bunch based purely of their demos, which are supposed to make want to buy the game.

Bayonetta: First Climax

The first laughable issue I noticed was the title. First Climax a very sexual message to the player and was a precursor to the big-boobed, glasses wearing dominatrix ready to experience her first gunfight in barrel wielding heels. Yes, this game was a sex fantasy made into a game.

Then the opening movie, with reel holes, appears on the screen, explaining that there is some sort of church like power who condemned your parents for having sex with an angel and there was a revolt and you were freed by someone….to be honest it was so confusing, I had to watch it 3 times to understand it. There was a line between mysterious and confusing and Sega crossed it.

Ok, so the story was a little ‘say what?’, but at least the graphics were sweet and the battle system was button mash friendly, but dodging can be a little difficult with multiple enemies. There was also this ring/ halo collection which I did not understand, perhaps you have to earn angel points to be good enough for heaven.

Furthermore, the characters entire costume and posture say sex fantasy woman. Even when there was no wind her hair blew and she just looked so uncomfortable just standing there. Also, I could not stop picturing her leg blowing off because she broke a heal on her gun-shoes. Honestly Sega has inventive thoughts, but they were ruled by their peckers in this game.

The game looks fun, but it made me laugh too hard and the basic premise was fantasy dominatrix.

Divinity II

Yes another RPG game. The graphics are nice, the story was classic, ‘become a dragon slayer’, but the controls threw me off at first.

I understand video games need to be slightly different from each other, but there are just some buttons designated for certain actions. A or X is for social actions, B is for cancel, LT is for shooting the hell out of something….these are just examples, but most controls follow this basic pattern. This game threw me off by making LT a social action and even talking to people was a pain, they move too much and half the time the action doesn’t work.

Besides that, it really wasn’t unique from any other RPG I’ve played, except for using words like ‘willie-nilly’. Talk to people, earn points, attack things, it left me better off than Dragon Age did, but it really didn’t provoke me to buy the game.

Dante’s Inferno

Again, why does a mature rating on a game automatically mean uncovered boobage and graphically nasty gore. I’m not anti-gore, just when it’s excessive it makes me gag and wonder why logically the producers through it would add to the gameplay.

The scene, in the demo mind you, which bothered me the most was when the warrior sews his crusader cross to this own chest. This was not needed, it added nothing but shock value, especially because he was returning home to his wife, after defeating death, why would she sleep with him with that nasty infectious cross on his chest? But doesn’t matter, she’s dead.

This was where there were excessive boob-shots. No offense, but she was dead and her boobs didn’t look too hot with those blue veins. Otherwise the graphics were sweet and my eyes were in awe of how they were beginning to make Hell come alive.

The battle system was relatively simple, but you need some precision if you were going to survive through the demo. So it’s kind of half and half friendly to button mashing.

Lastly, the story seems a little weak to me. I can see the anti-middle-age crusades oozing though the pixels, but I fail to see why his wife was taken to Hell, especially when the Christian religion makes you pay for your own sins, not of others. Anyway, going to Hell to save your wife’s soul was darkly romantic, but a very heavy price to pay.

Furthermore, it showed the game would only have once setting, Hell. That’s it, dark, gloomy, fire and brimstone…to be honest I hope the game will be relatively short, because I could only handle so much of Hell and maybe that was the point.

I do like the inventive interpretation of the famous poem and hope it has more to offer in story and gamplay than the dark visions of Hell and no more dead-woman bobbies please!

Left for Dead 2

From what I head this game was mostly a glorified expansion pack, but I never played the first game, so it has a fresh view.

When I played this demo I noticed there was a option to play online and multiple versions of the game like realism, scavenge, versus, of course all the options weren’t available, but it was nice to see the verity.

It was fun, the graphics were sweet and the story was classic, zombie apocalypse, why not, this was way better than any Resident Evil game I’ve played. Mostly because it doesn’t rely on any cheesy antics it’s just survive or die with NPCs or friends.

However, as with most online games there are jerks out there but just report them and move on.

I am addicted to this game, it soothes my nerves, infuriates me with blood splatter and who doesn’t want to mindlessly fight zombies. Sure the characters chatter gets a little annoying after a while, but that is why you have an i-pod. Fun, fun, fun, it’s the only one I bought.

I Didn't Like Dragon Age Origins

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:13:00 +0000

For an added Christmas gift to myself I decided to buy a highly anticipated game, Dragon Age Origins. I’ve played many classic RPGs in my time and most of them seem very flat, difficult to control and riddled with clichés.

Unfortunately, Dragon Age meets most of the repeated disappointments in RPGs. One, customizing your character is a tedious task because it really doesn’t matter what you look like because it hardly effects the game and all of the choices are plain ugly.

In addition, there was only the plain human, pointy eared human, and short-stocky human to choose from.

I don’t know why realism transforms the game into a muddy brown mess of hardship, but it adds little to the enjoyment of the game and makes me sigh in disappointment at the graphics.

The blood splatter on characters just made me laugh and say ewww. I don’t understand why a Mature rating in a fantasy RPG means dark theme, with cussing and head to toe blood showers.

To further the laugh I thought the Darkspawn looked like Lord of the Rings orcs with a horrible skin condition. Seriously, they couldn't think of anything more original, at least add some thing outside of the generic fantasy spectrum. There are winged-wolves, stayers, giant puffer fish, giant eyes that can shoot lasers, cat people! Anything to at least stand out from the basic Dungeon and Dragons thought up by an eight year old.

The plot also made me question the writing skills of the team because at one point Alistair describes his character as the bringers of bad news and witty one liners. Honestly I liked him compared to Morrigan whose lack of social contact with people made her an annoying-sarcastic-monotone filler.

All the characters were flat, annoying and looked like they smoked pot from the bags under their eyes. I could not connect with any of them effectively to care if they lived or died.

The story itself has many choices, personally, I chose the Mage path and I hated how if you chose the wrong phrase to answer certain questions you would become stuck. No offense to the sandbox, but I rather have a guided game than dig through the sand only to find cat turds.

This plan would especially be useful in quelling tedious quests like Kill the Bears or Find Me a Pretty Pansy were used for filler and not the progression of the story itself.

The battle system was well planned for an RPG, but I hated having to understand how to play every character and develop them. Honestly I just wanted to focus on my own character and let the computer do the work for the other party members.

When I did return the game the employees at the store ragged on me for disliking one of the “best RPGs ever” and dictated to me how I chose the wrong story to play the game with. Excuse me, but shouldn’t any character choice be well rounded and written? All it lead for me to believe was there was just sheer laziness from the development team.

How was reusing classic enemies, redundant race and class choices, filler quests and flat character development counted as a fantasy RPG? There was little innovation in any of the storytelling aspects and it just made me yawn and hope for skip buttons. I think writers and game developers have reached a rut in fantasy RPGs. There needs to be come true creative inspiration to save this game genre and it has to be more than changing enemy names and adding a dragon.

11 Dumb Things in Assassin's Creed 2

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 05:42:00 +0000

In no particular order the dumb things in Assassin’s Creed 2:

1. Baby Wiggling

When you first play Ezio you are just a newborn baby and you are forced to make him wiggle. I just though this was a little silly, gross, and just because you have a mature rating doesn’t mean you have to show an actual birth.

2. It’s You Ezio!

I noticed that when Ezio’s name sounds like ‘it’s you’. I really don’t know if it was to make you feel like you were the character, but it’s a little stupid and just made me laugh.

3. Freaking Guards

The guards are either borderline moronic or plain ruthless. If I accidentally bump a person in front of them while I run they come out in full force to murder me. Holy Bob was that annoying. I guess they focused on making the game pretty, and it is, so the AI had to suffer.

4. Why is Leonardo here?

I’m sorry, but when a game places any famous historical character in game for the pure reason of using one of his inventions for one scene, it’s shameless lameness.

5. Tickle Me Pointless

I hate pointless treasure hunts in games. They add nothing to the story, are wastes of time, and are especially annoying when you have to complete them. Thankfully the feathers were an option.

6. I Have to Run to the Villa to Change

I noticed when you buy new armor it automatically assigns to you. However if you want to change any of your armor without buying it you have to go to your Villa to change. WTH? I can freakin carry everything else in hammer space, but not my armor? Oh NO! I have to run to the Villa to change. How stupid.

7. Un-friendly Button Mashing

For the most part it is simple, but I hated having to release buttons to attack versus dodge. It would have been so much easier if there were just one button mashing for each of the moves.

8. Dressin’ to Kill

Ok, I understand you have to have some distinction in your character, but Ezio is just advertising he is an assassin. His hood, cape, coloration, armor, would just
bring trouble around every turn. Also he would just drown in the water because he was so heavy.

9. Nobody Drank the Water

If this game is to be historically accurate, the water would have been filthy and Ezio would have refused to swim in it. Every time I had to swim, mostly by accident, I cringed imagining the poop and garbage floating about….ewwww.

10. Death by Wa-Wa

I thought it was actually hilarious to just push a guard/enemy into the water and wait for insta-death. I used it as much as I could because it just made fights easier and hilarious.

11. It’s a Me Mario!

One of the funniest lines in the whole game is when Ezio meets his uncle. When he said the fabled words “It’s a me Mario!” I instantly thought Nintendo is going to sue. Honestly they couldn’t find any other Italian names?

Of course it’s a matter of opinion, I loved the game, for the most part, It was pretty, thought provoking and made murder fun again.

League of Legends: Sweet

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:54:00 +0000

Quickie: Too Awesome, Download

League of Legends

Online real time strategy game (RTS) featuring Warcraft III graphics, creativity. as addicting as premium chocolate because having control of a demigod at your finger just feels right and awesome. The tutorial was easy to understand and play through, so when you play practice or competitive games you won’t feel lost.

There was also a great selection of charters to choose from, to meet your battle style. I was lucky to be apart of the opening weekend, so all the characters were open, now that the store opened I have to spend points, earned in game, to play my favorite characters.

My personal favorite was Annie. A little pink haired girl who skipped about and threw fire magic on you. She also has a little bear named Tibbers, who she can animate and lead him in a path of destruction.

Her catchphrases, all the charters have them, can be a little annoying, but she is a little difficult to play for a beginner. So, here is a wonderful website to help you use your character efficiently: League Craft. This site helps you play your character, choose the appropriate runes and just not suck.

I do not like how you have to have the final blow to earn gold from killing minions or other demigods, but it was compensated by having a constant flow of money over time.

There were also these mastery points which you can use to improve your characters general stats. They were like the talent trees on WOW.

I’m was just happy to see a game completely free, with excellent graphics, awesome gameplay, creative demigods, there was nothing to complain about. Support the game, download it now.

Mid-Evil Sim City: Evony

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:58:00 +0000

Quickie: No Need to Download it's Online FUN!

Evony was a fun and addictive Sim City type of game based in a mid-evil setting.

The controls were simple, clear and I especially like how it’s a strict internet based game, no downloading for hours only to discover the game sucks…yay.

You start with a seven-day grace period featuring basic tutorials. I suggest you go to http://evony.medievalgamer.com, for a beginners guide to success.

It’s also nice because you do not have to constantly maintain building, some of the projects take a long time, so you can leave the computer for a while.

However it is annoying how you can only perform one building construction at a time, but they do have items to shorten the time it takes and if the construction time is under five minutes it doesn’t cost any items to speed up.

In the beginning it’s a little lame because you’re weak and can only focus on building more stuff or upgrading stuff. I also do not like how it costs items to chat on the world server.

Building an army was also a little tedious, because you control every detail and you have to be careful how you spend your resources or you will be stuck with useless workers.

You also have to join a guild to be any threat against other kingdoms because you are just a tiny speck on the Evony map, easy pickings for anyone.

So, login at least once a day, otherwise you will be severely plundered after the seven day grace period. Also, you receive a free amulet that gives you free stuff once a day, but it expires, so use it.

In short, if you like Sim City, you will like this game, especially because it’s free.

Maplestory: Monkey Trainers...Really?

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:49:00 +0000

Monkeys...really?

Quicke: This Cake is Really Just a 2D Image

I’ve heard about Maplestory from some friends and for the most part they liked it at first, but gave up around level 15 because the game just abandoned them like orphan vampires.

It looked super cute and it had nice nostalgic feel with the 2D environment, but it lacked a creative story. It felt very strange to ask monkeys for tutorial steps, no wonder the kingdom was falling apart, the warriors are taught by apes.

I also thought the controls were too much like button mash paradise and the hit detector was shotty. It brought no joy to my life, it just depressed my inner gamer despite the cuteness.

Most MMORPGs have a dynamic story drawing you in, making you interested, active, but Maple Story just slapped your character in with monkeys to guide you.

There was nothing to communicate the character’s motive in the game and I thought carrying around a chair for your character was retarded.

The enemies pop up so much, there was not time to sit and it just looked lame for an adventurer to carry a chair. Just imagine a adventurer on WOW carrying a chair…

enough said.

Maplestory was too simple to enjoy and it just left me a little empty inside.

Runes of Magic: Nothing New

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:40:00 +0000

Runes of Magic

This MMORPG was a copy paste of WOW without the creative designs or creatures you pay 15$ a month for.

What I found to be very annoying was when signing into their account management, I had to create a new account in order to apply for the “free” game. I had to find this on the forum: Runes of Magic Forum for the Login Issue

And do not forget to change your region before you “start game” on the loading screen, because if you forget it will not recognize your ID and password until you change it to the appropriate country.

It was a beautiful game to play, but it failed to be any different from the other MMORPGS I’ve played. Mostly it lacked any unique character races; elves and humans were it, that was it, and pointy ears do not improve hearing people.

My favorite part of the creation was the boob adjuster, only for females, sorry.

Like any other “free” game, there was the option of buying “diamonds” to buy unique items online, but this doesn’t effect the gameplay too much because badass gear still has leather straps holding it together.

Was this false advertising? As with all movies promoting a game. Of course they show awesome battle sequences that never happen in game and even when they do have one featuring in game footage, everyone looked the same and bland.

I’m also confused about what exactly this game was. Why are the elves in exile? Who are we going to fight? Why? Nothing was explained.

Anyway, when you did begin there was an offer for a tutorial, take it, it gives a mount. However, the next fifty million quests are the tutorial, yay repetition….what am I four?

I still do not fully understand why people want to play a human character. It’s boring, you’re a human now, why do you want to play one on a fantasy RPG? I insist on playing a freaky character, because at least I’m something different than a clone of myself who can leap buildings.

To be honest, if you like WOW in a simple format, this is a good game. But it lacks the originality of WOW and fails to present anything unique for the gamer explorer.

Just tell me this doesn't look like a dragonhawk >>

Dungeons and Dragons Online; shoulda, coulda, woulda, wasn't

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:52:00 +0000

Quickie: This cake was a lie!

Dungeons and Dragons Online

I have attempted to play the tabletop version of Dungeons and Dragons (DD) with my friends, but the games always seemed to fall through. But I did find Dungeon and Dragons Online (DDO) and it was “free”.

Liars. It was only free until level four. Not only that you have to pay to register and guild and to access some dungeons, what the hell.

It was not a bad game visually, it was actually like Guild Wars in style because it was mostly colored in bland colors like brown. At least World of Warcraft (WOW) had some color, it just felt too real to be fun, no escapism could be found in the repetitive sewer dungeons or towns, which was all you could do, unless you paid.

In other RPGs with my friends, like Exalted, the dungeon master (DM) was a least creative and gave us unimaginable challenges that gave us a mental workout, but with DDO it was the same dungeons with three different monsters.

Not only that, but if you wanted the good equipment you had to go through the dungeon again on a different difficulty. What a horrible way to extend playtime, it’s like a bad NES game tactic.

Also, the character choices are minimal:
human
pointed ear human
husky small human
small human

and the other two choices, dark skinned pointed ear human and molted giant human, the Warforged, weren’t available unless you paid. I will never complain about WOWs verity again after seeing how little imagination went into creating races for DDO.

The way you controlled the character was also very difficult. From what I understand the mouse was used for character movement/targeting and the keyboard dealt out spells, special attacks and abilities. This was at least how I play it, but DDO decided to make the left mouse key attack, requiring you to move with the keyboard.

It was jumpy, hard to control and why the hell did they change a good system? I wonder if they even test their ideas sometimes.

I also do not understand why they include what dice was needed for the attack, even if you didn’t actually use dice rolling in the game.

It was also unbalanced in solo playing, but DD was based on group campaigning, so unless you like groups, I would stick with something else, like Navy Field or WOW, which has excellent balance in solo characters.

Monotonous dungeons, enemies, character designs killed this game for me. I expected time and creativity to be poured into it, but found average graphics covering up horrible gameplay.

DDO was a killjoy to the creative tabletop franchise dooming nerds to their homes and fanfiction. Don’t play it, pretend it never happened.

Gunbound...a chibi solution to tanks

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 07:56:00 +0000

Quickie: Download

Gunbound is fun and sadistic, especially because they have super cute chibi players, adorably deadly tanks, accessories and annoyingly sweet music as you bombard your enemies with rockets!

When I fist started playing Gunbound it was much easier to acquire a unique avatar with the gold you acquire through mercilessly killing other obscenely cute players on playful maps with cheery music in the background.

Now, it takes a hefty amount of gold to build your avatar, unless you want to pay cash. In fact, it is very annoying to build a proficient character with only gold.

Obviously they are attempting to make people spend money, but a noob is still a noob no matter how good the gear he has.

There are some avatar accessories only available through cash or gold, but for the most part you can find an equivalent if you pay either way.

What really makes me angry is the fact Gunbound charges depending on how much time you want to keep the avatar item. Personally I believe if you pay cash, you should be able to keep if forever, end of story.

Furthermore, they make you pay to post your picture on the profile? WTF?

Moving on to the actual gameplay…Gunbound is like tanks, but with a little gay flare to entice more females into the franchise. Or maybe boys just like visually molesting chibi avatar females, I don’t know.

Tank choice is fun, because it’s just not a soulless tank. Most feature cute eyes or can even be an animal ready to maim with it’s custom rockets, coming from hammer space.

Personally I like the Bigfoot, it doesn’t hit worth anything, but often leaves enemies buried and eventually the hole leads them off the map into death.

There are also many maps to choose from and it’s very easy to make your own room, just remember to choose a tank suited to the map and your abilities. There are also different kids of battles:
Solo-every avatar for themselves
Score-you blast the opposing team with limited lives
Tag-you choose two mobiles to fight with
Jewel-you hit targets, earning points to victory
Powerball-same as score, but the teleport is only available, and powerballs drop giving advantages to players who collect them or land on them

I suggest you start on Jewel until you become used to the aiming dynamic of the game, which is simple, but takes some practice. All you have to consider is angle and wind, but each tanks weapons can act differently to each condition.

There are also certain bonuses you can earn by how many hit points you accumulate on a player, if you shoot backwards, high angle, it’s endless and fun to explore different styles of fighting.

Gunbound Trick Shots Tutorial - Watch today’s top amazing videos here

I like how the game isn’t just point and shoot and how you can develop your skills through actual practice. It’s takes time and energy, but it’s so cute and fun to play.

So, download and give it a try, it’s free, fun, cute and addicting!

My Little Pony Frigate: Navyfield.com

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 05:37:00 +0000

Quickie: Download

Navy Field is a game where you play pre-WWII battle ships in a WWII like setting. What I like most about the game is, it’s free and the gameplay is relatively the same.

There is a optional membership fee of 10$, but it only offers 40% more XP, credits, and when you are in battle for give minutes or more you gain 1,000 more XP. So, unless you want to level up faster, paying for a membership isn’t really worth it.

As a beginner, you start out as a Frigate, a small ship. I named mine ‘My Little Pony’ just to satisfy my quirky girlyness. You have to recruit a captain, some gunners and other characters to help your ship. I was thankful I had some friends to help me out because it was a little confusing and some of the buttons you need to press are too small.

When I did play my first game I discovered I could only hide or distract higher level ships with some maneuvering skills, but you should only do this until you team reaches 100,000 attack points in order to gain XP.

The game itself is extremely customizable because of the vast choice in ships and tech tree selection. Your tech tree determines what your ships specialty will be. If you do make a mistake, do not worry you can always make another ship and experiment with what you really want.

At level 12 you have to choose a nation: Germany, Japanese, American or UK. You cannot mix nations, except for the Germans and Japanese, and each nation has its own benefits:
Germany-good anti-air guns, but bad armor
Japanese-best verity of carriers and best dive-bombers
American-average stats
UK-heavy armor but low range

The main goal of the game is to win battles and level up your sailors. Leveling up happens automatically, but you have to make sure you have enough recruits, especially when they can become experts in their field.

Training recruits to be experts can be risky because they can fail in the training and you loose the recruits.

This is not a game for the casual gamer, it takes planning and some dedication if you are going to enjoy the game. It especially helps to have friends and asking more experienced players to help you if you have questions, otherwise the game will suck and you suck.

I also have an issue with the aiming system. I’m sorry, but I think there should be an auto target system. Yes it would destroy some of the frustrating mechanics of the game, but I’m sure they developed radar before WWII, 1936 to be exact.

Furthermore, there are no women avatars, so I chose my own Hello Kitty Darth Vader just to be interesting.

However, enjoyed the simple game of blasting planes and running away by hammering the “f” key, it satisfied my bloodlust. I also like the realistic sounds, how simple it is to control your ship and how it’s as customizable as a Barbie with better guns.

So press “f” for victory and download Navy Field, look me up I’m raindragon16.

PoxNora.com: Magic The Gathering Meets Warhammer

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 22:24:00 +0000

Quickie:Download

PoxNora.com is another one of those sites offering “free” online games. I usually do not sign up for a “free” online game, because eventually it will cost you more than your time and energy, but actual money to buy in game products.

It’s a game where a player clicks on “runes” to open up characters and abilities and place them on the field. The base concept is to defeat the enemies and take their posts, which supply “Nora”, the energy used for spells and such.

The game is simple because there can be a strategy or no planning at all, seems to work, especially if the player is using a pre-made cast of runes.

The player can build their rune cast from scratch, but I would suggest just playing with their pre-made ones, unless spending 20$ on a rune is cool.

I have nothing against PoxNora, or any other site, from making money by offering players really useful game products for cash, especially when “free” play is just as enjoyable as paying for play.

However, I do not like games labeled “free”, but in reality you can only enjoy the game to it’s full potential by buying one of their online gadgets or points from a gift card.

My general rule for applying for “free” games is if they ask for a credit card number don’t apply. The main reason is the “free” game may charge after the trial.

Moving on, PoxNora is a medieval-fantasy world with a mix of Magic the Gathering and miniature wargames, like Warhammer.

The gameplay is very simple and easy to follow. The player has an army, a base who faces an enemy, which the player must defeat.

It takes a little strategy, but it’s not so intense where there is a need for an extreme battle plan. I like it, it’s free, simple, and fun.

Remember NiGHTS?

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 08:53:00 +0000

Quickie: Don’t Buy

Remember Nights, on the Sega Saturn? I used to spend hours at Sears playing the game and having no idea what I was doing, but it was fun to have the almost unlimited freedom to roam a beautifully mystical world with a character that looked like a jester in a purple leotard. Well it’s back on the Wii…

BORING!

I just wanted to fly, I loved flying in the game, but you have to play as a pre-teen running around collecting her Ideya…sounds like idiot to me…

But even when you have the chance to fly you have to Dualize with NiGHTS…it sounds like a sex term and instantly looses its innocent charm.

When you do have to play as the human they walk around like ducks and are horrible to look at. Your only weapons are the Blue Chips and it’s all timed so you can’t focus on the games beauty at all…and there isn’t very much, because the landscapes look like they took a Picasso painting and put it through a shredder.

I found myself pressing (+) at every cut scene, unfortunately you can’t skip. I don’t need all of the whiny drama or storyline to make the game better, it actually made it worse because the characters were as thin as paper.

Personally I can do without the story altogether and fly, by jamming the nunchuck stick to the right…yes…they even ruined the enjoyment of flight by making it as restrictive as a nunnery.

What is the point of having flight in a game if there is no freedom in it? It’s like giving a child a bike with flat tires; too much effort to ride, so they just leave it to rot in the sun and rain. It’s the same with NiGHTS, no freedom equals no enjoyable play.

It was repetitive and felt like a never ending torture flying through loops and chasing down keys for a pointless mission from the horrible storyline. The freedom was lost from the Sega Saturn I’d experienced and turned into a suppression via Nintendo.

One boss, Bomamba, was such a pain in the butt I just gave up on the game. You had to roll all the kitty heads…that’s right heads…into little holes in a certain amount of time…and there were many stages of ulcer causing pain.

I must have tried for two hours to complete this boss, but those kitty balls just wouldn’t fall in, especially if there was a hill to roll over.

The developers were trying too hard to add sense to the NiGHTS universe. Honestly I would have been satisfied with a little prologue and a simple storyline of saving children’s dreams or something but instead the player was given flat character children, boring levels, complicated bosses and limited flying, which killed the game ultimately.

Don’t try, don’t buy, it will just make you cry.

The Wii is Losing Hardcore Gamers

noreply@blogger.com (Joelle Driver) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 19:40:00 +0000

When my father bought the Wii for the family, I was ecstatic to try out the motion sensor gameplay.

He bought all the right games: “Mario Galaxy”, “Twilight Princess”, “Mario Party”, it was great, wonderful, until I started playing.

I played “Twilight Princess” on the Gamecube and enjoyed the plot twisting, interactive and tear wrenching gameplay which was all completely lost because of the flippin Wii mote.

Swinging your arm to wield a sword is a novel idea, but once my arm became tired, the immersion was lost. I knew I wasn’t a reincarnated warrior saving Hyrule, but I didn’t need to be reminded with a cramp.

I blame parents who blame video games for causing obesity in children. It’s your child, take the game away, throw out the junk food, but OH NO, that’s asking you, an adult, to change your habits for the betterment of your child.

I fell sorry for Nintendo, because they have almost defeated the purpose of playing a game by attempting to make it healthy.

The Wii does well when focusing on ideas like “Wii Sports”, because it’s short, simple, and doesn’t need hours of play to complete. Furthermore, most of these types of games provide little to no emersion for the player so there is nothing lost when you feel the real pain in your arm from bowling.

Let’s be specific, the Wii is losing their serious fanbase and gaining the casual gamer; a player lost to Xbox and the Playstation. So, despite attempts to make classics new on the Wii, I believe it has seriously backfired because of the lost emersion of the player in the game.

However, Nintendo is far from dead to a serious gamer, mainly because of the option to download old classics and play with an actual controller. This is only a slight saving point for the Wii, because if a game is not enjoyable with the featured controller why bother playing the game? Also, when you have to play old games to enjoy a new system, it defeats the purpose of buying it.

I think they found their error and are attempting to fix it slightly by letting gamers play with a normal controller, but if they continue to turn out tired classics, they will still loose their oldies and just have casual gamers left.

Nintendo needs to try something new with their old classics because goombas are only so impressive and finding temple weapons, like in “Twilight Princess” is a tired collecting strategy dying hard and fast. If they don’t, I guess us fans will have to convert to the X-Box.