The Lonely Island featuring T-Pain - I’m On a Boat Video

I’m On a Boat Lyrics (featuring T-Pain) by The Lonely Island

Andy Samberg: Whoa! Free boat ride for three. Now, who should I take? Keith: Yes!
Andy Samberg: And…T-Pain.
T-Pain: Cool

(Shortay)
Aww shit, get cha towels ready…
It’s about to go down (shorty, yeah).
Everybody in the place hit the fucking deck (shorty, yeah).
But stay on your muthafuckin’ toes.
We running this, let’s go…

I’m on a boat (I’m on a boat).
I’m on a boat (I’m on a boat).
Ery’body look at me
’cause I’m sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat).
I’m on a boat (I’m on a boat).
I’m on a boat…
Take a good hard look at the muthafuckin’ boat (boat, yeah).

I’m on a boat muthafucka
take a look at me.
Straight floatin’ on a boat
on the deep blue sea.
Busting five knots,
wind whippin’ out my coat.
You can’t stop me muthafucka
cause I’m on a boat…

Take a picture, trick (trick).
I’m on a boat, bitch (bitch).
We drinking Santana champ,
’cause it’s so crisp (crisp).
I got my swim trunks,
and my flippie-floppies.
I’m flippin’ burgers
you at Kinko’s
straight flippin’ copies.

I’m riding on a dolphin,
doin’ flips and shit.
This dolphin’s splashin’,
getting ery’body all wet.
But this ain’t Seaworld,
this is real as it gets…
I’m on a boat muthafucka,
don’t you ever forget!

I’m on a boat and…
It’s going fast and…
I got a nautical-themed
Pashmina afghan.
I’m the king of the world,
on a boat like Leo.
If you’re on the shore,
then you’re sure not me-oh.

Get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!!!

Fuck land…
I’m on a boat muthafucka (muthafucka).
Fuck trees…
I climb buoys muthafucka (muthafucka).
I’m on the deck with my boys muthafucka (yeah).
The boat engine make noise muthafucka.

Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now).
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow).
Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow (moon somehow).
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible…

Yeah…
never thought I’d be on a boat.
It’s a big blue watery road (yeah).
Poseidon…
Look at meeee, ooooooh (all hands on deck)

Never thought I’d see the day,
when a big boat coming my way.
Believe me when I say,
I fucked a mermaid…

I’m on a boat…
I’m on a boat…
Ery’body look at me ’cause I’m sailing on a boat (woaah).
I’m on a boat…
I’m on a boat…
Take a good hard look at the muthafuckin’ boat (sha-sha-shorty, shorty, yeaaaah)

SNL Mother Lover Video (Justin Timberlake, Andy Samberg)

Mother Lover Lyrics (starring Justin Timberlake):

Andy Samberg: Oh dang…

Justin Timberlake: What is it dawg?

Andy Samberg: I forgot it’s Mother’s Day.

Justin Timberlake: Didn’t get a gift for her.

Andy Samberg: Other plans got in the way. She’ll be so dissappointed.

Justin Timberlake: Damn I forgot it too.

Andy Samberg: This could have been avoided.

Both: What the hell are we gonna do?

Justin Timberlake: My mom’s been so forlorn ever since my daddy left.

Andy Samberg: COLD.

Justin Timberlake: No one to hold her tight, life has put her to the test.

Andy Samberg: I know just what you mean, my mom’s been so sad and gray.

Justin Timberlake: Word.

Andy Samberg: My dad can’t satisfy her in the bedroom ever since he passed away.

Both: Hold up.

Andy Samberg: You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?

Justin Timberlake: I’m thinkin’ I’m thinkin’ too.

Both: Slow up.

Andy Samberg: What time is it dawg?

Justin Timberlake: It’s time for a switcharoo.

Both: We both love our moms, women with grown women needs.

I say we break ‘em off, show ‘em how much they really mean…

’cause I’m a Mother Lover,

you’re a Mother Lover.

We should fuck each other’s mothers.

Justin Timberlake: Fuck each other’s moms…

I’ll push in that place where you came out as a baby.

Ain’t no doubt that shit is crazy.

Fuck each others moms…

Both: ’Cause every Mother’s Day needs a Mother’s Night.

If doing it is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

I’m callin’ on you ’cause I can’t do it myself.

To me you’re like a brother, so be my mother lover.

Andy Samberg: I’m layin’ in the cut waitin’ for your mom,

clutchin’ on this lube and roses.

Justin Timberlake: I got my digital camera, I’m gonna make your momma do a million poses.

Andy Samberg: They will be so surprised.

Justin Timberlake: We are so cool and thoughtful.

Andy Samberg: Can’t wait to pork your mom.

Justin Timberlake: I’m gonna be the syrup, she can be my waffle.

Both: Show’d up

Justin Timberlake: My mother loves bubble bath with chamomile.

Both: Straight up.

Andy Samberg: Give it to my mom d-d-d-d-d-doggystyle.

Both: This is the perfect plan for a perfect Mother’s Day.

They’ll have to rename this one All Up Under The Covers Day.

‘Cause I’m a Mother Lover,

you’re a Mother Lover.

We should fuck each others mothers.

Justin Timberlake: Fuck each others moms…

I’ll push in that place where you came out as a baby,

ain’t no doubt that shit is crazy…

Fuck each others moms…

Andy Samberg: Break it down…

It would be my honor to be your new stepfather

Justin Timberlake: It would be my honor to be your new stepfather.

Andy Samberg: I’ll let you do my mother, make me another brother…

And while I’m in your mother, I’ll never use a rubber.

Justin Timberlake: OH!

‘Cause every Mother’s Day needs a Mother’s Night.

If doing it is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

I’m callin’ on you ’cause I can’t do it myself.

to me you’re like a brother, so be my mother lover.

They blessed us both with the gift of life.

She brought you in this world so I’m a sex her right.

This is the second best idea that we’ve ever had.

The choice can be no other.

Be my mother lover.

Andy Samberg: Happy Mother’s Day…

We Didn’t Start The Flame War Video (College Humor)

We Didn’t Start The Flame War Lyrics by College Humor

First post fucking gay
second post go away
stupid picture
simpsons did it
south park did it too.
ROFL copter really stupid
I dunno, I kinda like it
I hate Mindy
I hate Cindy
I hate fags and jews.

Who’s the girl in that pic,
I want her to show her tits.
So gross, no wonder why
girls don’t come to this site!

This picture FTW, I’d bone the girl in it.
I’d bone your mom.
You bone your palm.
Oh snap, epic pwnage!

We didn’t start the flame war,
Peeps were hatin’ on it
‘fore I left my comment.

We didn’t start the flame war,
Let the whole wide world know
I’m a big old asshole.

Saw this on another site.
Photoshop’d am I right?
Hard to see, but I agree.
dugg down cuz it sucks!

how’d this garbage
make it to the frontpage?
users from their site
came and dugg it up.

Stolen from XKCD,
Buried for inaccuracy.
if you’re gonna call bullshit,
post a link to prove it.

Ron Paul 2012!
he can’t win, don’t jizz yourself.
He’s got a chance.
Yeah, in France - bet you’d vote for Palin!

We didn’t start the flame war,
Peeps were hatin’ on it
‘fore I left my comment.

We didn’t start the flame war,
Let the whole wide world know
I’m a big old asshole.

Who wants a free iPod?
Just follow this link.
God, spammers in this thread
Are such massive dickheads.

Oh my god, watch my vid,
crazy funny fat kid.
Eat my ass you fucking troll,
what an asshole.
Rick roll’d.

Gay-ay-ay
You guys know who I hate?
people who are mixed race.
also mexicans, redheads, and asians.

why r u guys so racist.
why r u guys so racist.
double post, my bad.
this kid’s a noob fag.

what’s your problem douchebag?
ur the ass, fucking fag!
your a fag!
you’re a bitch!
all of you can suck my dick!

We didn’t start the flame war,
Peeps were hatin’ on it
‘fore I left my comment.

We didn’t start the flame war,
Let the whole wide world know
I’m a big old asshole.

asshole.
asshole.
asshole.
asshole.
asshole.

Billy Joel - We Didn’t Start The Fire

Like a Boss Video (Uncensored) featuring Seth Rogen

Like a Boss Lyrics by The Lonely Island

Seth Rogen: Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.

Mr. Samberg: No problem.

Seth Rogen: So you’re in charge around here, is that fair to say? 

Mr. Samberg: Absolutely, I’m the boss.

Seth Rogen: Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss.

Mr. Samberg: Well the first thing I do is… 

Talk to to corporate, like a boss.

Approve memos, like a boss.

Lead a workshop, like a boss.

Remember birthdays, like a boss.

Direct workflow, like a boss.

My own bathroom, like a boss.

Micromanage, like a boss.

Promote Synergy, like a boss.

Hit on Debra, like a boss.

Get rejected, like a boss.

Sallow sadness, like a boss.

Send some faxes, like a boss.

Call a sex line, like a boss.

Cry deeply, like a boss.

Demand a refund, like a boss.

Eat a bagel, like a boss.

Harrassment lawsuit, like a boss.

No promotion, like a boss.

Fifth of vodka, like a boss.

Shit on Debra’s desk, like a boss.

Buy a gun, like a boss.

In my mouth, like a boss.

Oh fuck man I can’t fucking do it…shit! 

Pussy out, like a boss.

Puke on Debra’s desk, like a boss.

Jump out the window, like a boss.

Suck a dude’s dick, like a boss.

Score some coke, like a boss.

Crash my car, like a boss.

Suck my own dick, like a boss.

Eat some chicken strips, like a boss.

Chop my balls off, like a boss.

Black out in the sewer, like a boss.

Meet a giant fish, like a boss.

Fuck its brains out, like a boss.

Turn into a jet, like a boss.

Bomb the Russians, like a boss.

Crash into the sun, like a boss.

Now I’m dead, like a boss.

Seth Rogen: Uh huh. So that’s an average day for you then? 

Mr. Samberg: No doubt.

Seth Rogen: You chop your balls off and die? 

Mr. Samberg: Hell yeah.

Seth Rogen: And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick.

Mr. Samberg: Nope!

Seth Rogen: Actually I’m pretty sure you did.

Mr. Samberg: Nah, that ain’t me.

Seth Rogen: Okay, well this has been eye opening for me.

Mr. Samberg: I’m the boss.

Seth Rogen: Yeah, no I got that. You said it about four-hundred times.

Mr. Samberg: I’m the boss.

Seth Rogen: Yeah yeah I got it! 

Mr. Samberg: I’m the boss.

Seth Rogen: Okay, great I heard you. Bye.

Mr. Samberg: LIKE A BOSS!

Jon Lajoie: Pop Song Music Video

Pop Song Lyrics by Jon Lajoie

Girl, im a sexually attractive man.

That makes me a good artist.

This is my new single…

I hope you like it.

Wealthy men hired me

to sing this song that they wrote for me.

They’re investing in this quasi-music video,

and theyre paying to get a bid on the radio.

(on the radio)

And they’re gonna sell a million (a million),

Yes it’s gonna go platinum…

‘Cause they’ll market this song

to young impressionable and insecure teenage girls.

‘Cause all you gotta say is,

ohh baby i love you and girl i need you in my world.

‘Cause they’ll market this song

to young impressionable and insecure teenage girls.

‘Cause all they gotta do

is find a sexually attractive man

that can sing all the words.

(and now the token rap verse

that doesnt make any sense

but helps to get a small percentage

of the urban music market)

Hey baby baby i can tell that you are crazy crazy.

shake that ass girl my rhymes are gettin lazy lazy.

These things im talking ’bout have

nothing to do with the song baby.

But it don’t matter wont you show me that thong baby.

That’s how it works in the pop music industry,

2009 motherfucker that’s just how it be.

‘Cause they’ll market this song

to young impressionable and insecure teenage girls.

‘Cause all you gotta say is,

ohh baby i love you ooh girl i need you in my world.

‘Cause they’ll market this song

to young impressionable and insecure teenage girls.

‘Cause all they gotta do

is find a sexually attractive man

that can sing all the words.

Now I’m singing with my gay voice

to let you know that I’m sensitive.

Oh yeah Im’ singing with my gay voice,

teenage girls love a sensitive boy (sensitive boy)

And you know I wanna…

Make money money

make money money

make money

make money money

make money money

make money…

Rich men makin money off of their investments,

ooh its so sexual baby…

Girl I love you so much,

I wish we could be together.

Unfortunately we can’t because

I’m rich and famous and you’re not

But, why dont you just go out and buy my album,

and tell your friends about it too

so that they also go out and buy it .

**Update: check out our new favorite song by Jon Lajoie: Pop Song

Alone in the Universe Music Video

Alone in the Universe Lyrics

We’re floating in space on the edge of time…
In a universe that we can’t define.
Billions of stars in the endless night.
Try and find purpose for our lives,
Yet we still take the time,
We still take the time,
Yes we always take the time…

To masturbate oohhh…
To milk the snake…
Girls do the taco hand shake…
I’m gonna hold my sausage hostage, tonight.

Wheter you’re English, French, Japanesse, or German,
Whether you’re at home or at a movie with Pee Wee Herman,
We all take matters into our own hands.
With the five finger army we invade our pants.
We’d all be doing time,
Yes we’d all be doing time,
If it was a crime…

To Masterbate ooohhhh…
To pull the hand brake…
To play vagina dj…
She’s gonna play country on the clitar, tonight.

He burps his baby,
She’s putting on a puppet show.
Our genitals are Juliet,
Our hands are Romeo.
He chokes his chicken,
She tickles her camel toe.
Our genitals are Jul….

(2 Hours Later)

That Marisa Tomei is HOT!
Our genitals are Juliet,
Our hands are Romeo.

I’m gonna play ball on team penis, tonight.

What What In The Butt Video, Song by Samwell

What What In The Butt Lyrics by Samwell

[Breath]
[Breath]
[Breath]
[Breath]

I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.

You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
Let’s do it in the butt…OKAY!

I feel you watching me…over there.
Come to me…if you care .
Don’t sit and stare…it’s just not fair.
Make your move…if you dare.

What what

I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.

You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
Let’s do it in the butt…OKAY!

It’s okay, if you have a little fright.
Don’t you worry, I won’t bite (not that hard).
If you want it, I’ll give you power.
Just be gentle, I’m delicate like a flower.

I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.

You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
Let’s do it in the butt…OKAY!

I will give you what you need,
all I wan’t is your big fat seed.
give it to me if you please.
give it to me if you please.

I will give you what you need,
all I wan’t is your big fat seed.
give it to me if you please.
give it to me if you please.

What what in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.
I said what what, in the butt.

You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
Let’s do it in the butt…OKAY!

I said what what, in the butt.
(I will give you what you need)
I said what what, in the butt.
(all I wan’t is your big fat seed)
I said what what, in the butt.
(give it to me if you please)
I said what what, in the butt.
(give it to me if you please)

You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
(I will give you what you need)
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
(all I wan’t is your big fat seed)
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
(give it to me if you please)
Let’s do it in the butt…
(give it to me if you please)
OKAY!

I said what what…okay.

Turtle Having Sex With Boot Video

Her Morning Elegance Video & Music by Oren Lavie

Her Morning Elegance Lyrics by Oren Lavie

Sun been down for days, a pretty flower in a vase.
A slipper by the fireplace, a cello lying in its case.

Soon she’s down the stairs, her morning elegance she wears.
The sound of water makes her dream awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup, a spoon of sugar sweetens up

And she fights for her life as she puts on her coat.
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain as it pours.
And she fights for her life as she goes in a store,
With a thought she has caught by a thread.
She pays for the bread and she goes…
Nobody knows…

Sun been down for days, a winter melody she plays.
The thunder makes her contemplate.
She hears a noise behind the gate.
Perhaps a letter with a dove, perhaps a stranger she could love.

And she fights for her life as she puts on her coat.
And she fights for her life on the train.
She looks at the rain as it pours.
And she fights for her life as she goes in a store,
With a thought she has caught by a thread.
She pays for the bread and she goes…
Nobody knows…
Nobody knows…

And she fights for her life as she puts on her coat.
And she fights for her life on the train.
She looks at the rain as it pours.
And she fights for her life as she goes in a store,
where the people are pleasently strange.
And counting the change as she goes…
Nobody knows…
Nobody knows…
Nobody knows…

About “Her Morning Elegance” (the video)

Her Morning Elegance
Directed by Oren Lavie, Yuval and Merav Nathan
Featuring Shir Shomron
Photography by Eyal Landesman
Color Todd Iorio / Resolution

About Oren Lavie

Oren Lavie is the songwriter and co-director of Her Morning Elegance. He was born in 1976.

Oren’s debut album, The Opposite Side of the Sea, came out in 2007 in Europe. In January of 2008, Oren started his own label, changed the name three times until finally settling on A Quarter Past Wonderful. He then released his debut album on iTunes in the US.

The album was featured on the iTunes Singer/Songwriter Spotlight, subsequently becoming #30 on the charts.

Not longer after that, “Her Morning Elegance” was featured on a Chevrolet TV commercial.

The Opposite Side of the Sea was written and produced by Lavie and recorded in his Berlin apartment over the course of three years.

Oren Lavie on Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/orenlavie

Everyday Normal Crew Rap Music Video

Everyday Normal Crew Lyrics by Jon Lajoie

Hey yo! Fuck NWA (Get the fuck outta here).
Fuck G Unit (fuck that shit).
Fuck D12 (motherfucker!).
Get the fuck out of the way (fuck you bitch!).
Normal motherfucking crew (motherfucker!).
Everyday normal crew (what what what what!).

We just a regular everyday normal crew,
You can fuck with us ’cause we won’t fuck with you.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
Once a month we get drunk and watch Terminator 2.

We just a regular everyday normal crew,
If you’re hot bitches we’re too shy to talk to you.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
And we get joy spending time with our families.

This is my bro J-A to the S-O-N yo,
the best at Mike Tyson’s Punch Out on Nintendo.
From Glass Joe to Macho Man, yo he fucks shit up,
then Tyson goes down with a star upper-cut.

And he’s also pretty good at Super Mario 3,
but he doesn’t use the flutes cause he doesn’t like cheats.
Like the Contra code that he really doesn’t like,
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right,
then B, A, B, A, Select, Start you got 30 lives.
He says that shit’s for pussies who don’t know how to fight.

Yo this my man cheese, better known as cheese bread,
We call him that ’cause every time he gets out of bed
he puts 5 slices of cheese on 5 slices of bread.
Microwaves that shit, eats it, then goes back to bed.
Sleeps 12 hours a day and he doesn’t like Asian food.
That’s right bitches, he doesn’t like Asian food.
He doesn’t like the taste of soy sauce,
personally I love that shit but he does not.

Yo Ben is my friend that owns every DVD
from Goonies to Time Cop to Beverly Hills Cop 3.
Dark Knight, First Knight, A Knight’s Tale, and Knight Rider,
He even owns the motherfucking movie Street Fighter.

I borrow them from him I never pay to rent a movie,
as long as I take care of the box and don’t scratch the DVD,
cause last week I borrowed City Slickers and it got scratched,
I was hoping that he wouldn’t notice when I brought it back.
but he did and he was pissed so I apologized to him
and he forgave me and I asked him if I could borrow the movie Twins.
He was reluctant to do so, but he knows I love DeVito,
with Schwarzenegger, that’s a motherfucking comedic duo!

We just a regular everyday normal crew,
we own our tickets to Alanis Morissette in June.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
we bust gats and cadillacs in Grand Theft Auto 2.

We just a regular everyday normal crew,
no party is a party without a Phil Collins too.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
And when one of us gets a haircut we make fun of them.

Yo this is D and he’s a big fucking wrestling fan,
Monday Night Raw, Smackdown, and all the shit from the past.
Like Macho Man Randy Savage and Hulkamania,
Every year he travels to attend WrestleMania.

It may come as no surprise that he’s never had sex,
but it doesn’t bother him ’cause he has the internet.
He jerks off to freaky shit like 2 Girls 1 Cup,
he’s fucked up I tried watching it I fucking threw up.

This my nigga KC (What the fuck did you just call me?),
Sorry…I’ll say friend.

This is my friend KC the only black friend in the crew,
not because we’re racist every race is welcome in the group.
Truthfully he’s a friend of a friend I don’t know him that well,
but not because he’s black my favorite actors are Denzel…
and Samuel L. Jackson, I also like Bill Paxton,
but not because he’s white, but because of his acting.

This is my friend Cleo, she really likes the Beatles,
her favorite is McCartney and her least favorite is Ringo.
A year ago I asked her to go on a date with me she said no,
she said she’d rather just be friends, I started cryin and ran home.
And since then we rarely make eye contact when we speak,
which is awkward ’cause we all hang out at least two times a week.

Finally, I ain’t me without my best friend Steve,
He’s got my motherfuckin’ back although he’s weaker than me.
He’ll probably have a heart attack sometime soon,
but until then he’s my top gun like fucking Tom Cruise.

Jon Lajoie: Say it
Steve: Nah
Jon Lajoie: Say it, c’mon say it.
Steve: Nah
Steve: You want some of this bitch?! Money! Have a nice day bitch!

If you play organized sports say, “Hell yeah.”
If you watch 24 say, “Hell yeah.”
If the only ass you see is in porn say, “Hell yeah.”
If you eat chocolate when you’re bored say, “Hell yeah.”

I eat chocolate, a lot…when I’m bored. Um, I should stop though…
my metabolism is slowing down. I also like pie…cherry…rhubarb.

We just a regular everyday normal crew,
the joke’s getting old I fucking agree with you.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
I just repeat the same shit from Normal Guy 1 and 2.

We just a regular everyday normal crew,
What a twist with this one I rapped about my friends too.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
I think this cow’s been milked dry…motherfucker!

Steve: You want some of this bitch? You’ll never get it…it’s gonna go right up my asshole.