View From The Stands-Penn State Football

409 Wins Are Great! Why Am I Not Jumping for Joy?

2015-01-16T21:18:00.000-05:00

Today's announcement by Senator Jake Corman (R-PA) that the NCAA has repealed the sanctions against Penn State, including restoring the 112 wins the football team achieved during the years 1998-2001, was a pleasant surprise.

111 of those wins were achieved through the coaching of Joe Paterno. One of those wins was achieved through the coaching of interim head coach Tom Bradley after Coach Joe Paterno was summarily fired on November 9, 2011 by the Board of Trustees.

But let's not forget that these wins belonged primarily to the players, not the coaches. And so especially for the players, I am happy.

I am delighted that all the efforts by Penn State football fans have finally come to a positive conclusion. I was certainly part of those efforts. At the Blue-White game in 2014, I helped place pinwheels at the statue site, along with numerous other fans who believe in honoring Joe:

More recently, I signed the "409" boards at the Student Book Store as part of the PR stunt by The Porterfield Group announcing the release of the documentary "The People's Joe", a tribute to the life and impact of Joe Paterno. Two of my stories about Joe Paterno are featured in that film.

So why am I not jumping for joy? Because it's only a partial victory. It doesn't make up for the incredible three years of angst the State College community has gone through in response to the allegations against Jerry Sandusky.

It does not make up for the pain and anxiety people in State College experienced wondering if the sanctions would include the death penalty for Penn State and change their community forever.

It does not make up for the fact that due process was so totally ignored, that media coverage was so biased, that anyone who lived in this community felt shamed in some way for what happened, even if they didn't know Sandusky or had anything to do with The Second Mile charity.

It doesn't make up for the anxiety we all felt when a plane flew overhead, proclaiming "Take the Statue Down or We Will", and then the federal government determined that it wasn't a terrorist threat and wasn't going to force the renter of that plane to reveal who had hired it. Really?

It doesn't make up for the questions, wherever we went: Did Joe Know?

Again...and again...and again...this question has come up: Did Joe know? At away football games...the ones I remember were Wisconsin in 2011...Virginia, Illinois and Nebraska in 2012...Rutgers in 2014...opposing team fans who had a hard time with the idea that Joe Paterno could have "covered up" but believed the media hype nonetheless.

Because opposing team fans generally revered Joe Paterno...until the Sandusky accusations were revealed and then prosecuted as crimes.

And if you wore Penn State blue and white you were subjected to this, constantly.

And when I answered, they just thought I was one of those "Joebots" or something, defending Joe Paterno because, well, that's what a Penn State fan does.

Even on a river cruise in Europe last summer...I got that question. It can be downright disheartening and exhausting to explain your viewpoint again and again.

As if I knew what Joe knew!

Fact is, from my own investigation into child abuse reporting laws, Joe Paterno reported in a timely manner what he knew to exactly the right people at Penn State according to what was mandated by Pennsylvania law to report up the chain of command in an organization.

And that is what I have told people. He was praised by the Attorney General for his cooperation with the Grand Jury, and he was never charged with a crime. So the whole idea that Joe Paterno was complicit in some sort of a cover up for a former employee was always a stretch for me, and that's putting it mildly.

It doesn't make up for my husband Terry's continuous anger. From the day the NCAA sanctions were announced in July 2012 to the day he died in January 2014, he was angry about what the NCAA did to Penn State and never understood why a former coach's criminal behavior would require such dire punishment against a football program or its players, who did nothing to achieve competitive advantage on the playing field.

It doesn't make up for those disappointing losses at Wisconsin in 2011, at the Ticket City Bowl, at Virginia in 2012, and at all those other games after the sanctions occurred where the difference between winning and losing could have been the talent of the players who chose to leave.

The settlement today also does not make up for the unanswered questions about the role of Penn State administrators in reporting or not reporting what they knew to authorities. They are people I know and admire. They are people we know to be honorable and honest. And their story has not been told yet in a court of law.

We have as yet only heard the prosecutors' side of the story, in the form of a presentment, and then also a story concocted by a management consultant hired by the Board of Trustees who himself admitted, when he presented his opinion to the public, that his conclusions would not stand up in a court of law. He didn't even interview two of the three defendants in the upcoming trials.

And now we find out that one of the people at the NCAA involved with approving the NCAA sanctions didn't even bother to read that management report that Freeh claimed wouldn't stand up in a court of law.

And yet the NCAA announced the worse ever sanctions against a sports program in their history based on that management report.

I'm happy that Joe's wins have been restored, and that the onerous sanctions on the football team that have done so much damage to their ability to compete have now been lifted.

But there is still angst...still work to be done to find out the real truth.

And so no, I'm not jumping for joy.

But maybe I will sleep soundly knowing that eventually, justice will be served.

Penn State Football: These "Irish" Eyes Teared Up As Penn State Pulled Out a Tight Win

2014-08-31T10:43:00.000-04:00

The tears flowed freely this weekend, and most of them were tears of sorrow, not joy. They first came on Friday when someone posted a 17 minute video of the pep rally in Dublin, a pep rally in an unfamiliar location but with a very familiar format.

My husband Terry and I had attended so many in the past at away games and bowl games all over the country. The pep rallies all seemed the same after a while, but there in Ireland, it was decidedly different. The enthusiasm of the Penn State crowd was contagious and it reminded me that of course I would have been there "if only"...

....if only Terry had not passed away and my life hadn't changed forever.

I had thought that going to Ireland was a foolish idea, but in fact it excited a lot of fans who were looking for something different. The fans appeared to conduct themselves with a lot of class and were having a great time. I'm sure they spent more than a bit of money supporting the Irish economy.   Can't remember the last time there were that many fans for a pep rally. Rose Bowl 2009 perhaps? Former coach Bill O'Brien had the right idea.

Tears came again when the game was about to start and I was sitting at Rotelli's in downtown State College waiting for an Irish breakfast buffet to get organized.

I kept thinking that Terry would be irritated that breakfast wasn't ready BEFORE kickoff. He would not have wanted to miss a minute of that game to go upstairs and retrieve his meal. Which, if I wanted to satisfy my hunger, I needed to do.

The meal was good, by the way. Corned beef and eggs. Irish soda bread. Stew. Breakfast pizza and other stuff. Too much to try. One alcoholic drink included, so I opted for some Irish coffee, something I had not had in a long long time, to put me in the mood to watch this Dublin experience.

Tears came later when I tried to describe to the Success with Honor organizers of this charity event at Rotelli's, what it was like staying in State College and going to a bar/restaurant for the first time ever to watch a Penn State game on TV.

For many people in State College it is probably a familiar experience. But for me, I was always on the road with Terry to see the games in person, until last year. Last year Terry was battling cancer, and the away games were watched at home or in the hospital. But at least he was still with me then.

What I remember mostly about watching away games on TV last year was the dreadful commentary that accompanied the TV coverage. Yesterday, the environment was noisy enough that you couldn't really hear the speakers drone on and on. So all you could do was watch the plays on TV.

That was a good thing, judging by what others have posted online about the announcers.

At the end of the game, the tears of joy for a fantastic last minute win in Dublin were mixed with tears of sorrow. I missed Terry so terribly deeply on this, the first game where I was truly without him.

I missed his running commentary, his sheer joy at a brilliant play well executed, his exasperation when a defensive breakdown allowed the other team to score, his screaming at the coach towards the end of the game when he felt he was being too conservative.

I could hear him say, "Goddammit Coach we need a touchdown not a field goal!!".

I missed his complaining that there was too much time on the clock, and that we were about to lose the game, or that there was not enough time on the clock to get down the field and pull out a win.

At the end of the game yesterday I found myself saying all the things Terry would say to the people around me.

I think they were a bit mad when I predicted that UCF would score again, and then it happened. I was just glad that there was still enough time on the clock - and three timeouts - so that Penn State could strike back with the game winning field goal.

Kudos to Christian Hackenberg for getting the team down the field and to Sam Ficken! I knew somehow that, given the right field position, he would come through with the winning field goal. He has become quite the go-to guy on the Penn State team.

The crowd at Rotelli's erupted. Strangers and friends alike hugged and "high fived" one another and it was then that I realized that being in that crowded bar was probably the next best thing to being in the stands. Penn Staters know how to celebrate victories together, wherever they are and with whomever wears blue and white.

It was a classic game. A game that neither team should have lost, but one team had to. Both teams played as well as could be expected for a first game of the season. Mistakes made but overcome. One key mistake at the end of the game by Penn State and the outcome might have been different. Central Florida came out on the short end this time, and I wish them well for the rest of their season.

Kudos to the entire team for bringing home a victory and to Coach Franklin for his first win. Now, get rested really fast and get ready to beat Akron!

Later on Saturday, I went to Webster's Cafe for a reading and signing by Jay Paterno of his new book, The Paterno Legacy. Here is what Jay inscribed on my copy:

"To Carolyn,
Thanks for all your support.
It is all real and it will always last.
Best wishes,
Jay Paterno"

He is right, in more than a thousand ways.

Paterno Legacy by Jay Paterno: A Must Read!

2014-07-25T16:53:00.003-04:00

I was lucky enough to learn that the Barnes and Noble bookstore in State College had a few copies of this book before anyplace else in the country. I was able to drive down to the bookstore and pick one up right away. Never mind that I almost got a speeding ticket on my way to pick up the book...luckily the police officer that stopped me was kind!

Once I acquired it I couldn't put it down, even though I went through an entire box of tissues while reading it. There are painful moments, rich moments, humorous moments. It is very well written.

It's not a pleasant read if you love Penn State. Especially if you teach at or work for Penn State, and during that awful November 2011 were trying to faithfully conduct your job during the chaos of the news media avalanche on State College, while also trying to sort out your many conflicting feelings about what was happening and how the crisis was being managed, and deal with your very confused students in the classroom.

Child sexual abuse is a horrific crime, and nobody at Penn State could avoid the reality that public reaction to anyone accused of child sexual abuse or to an institution accused of covering up child abuse will be swift and severe.

And so the horror of the accusations against Penn State were very real for this most avid Penn State football fan. One of my first acts after reading the grand jury presentment was to understand the child abuse reporting laws.

You see, I had worked for several years in children's services in Massachusetts so I knew something about mandated reporting laws for child abuse. What I discovered in my own investigation into the laws of Pennsylvania was that Joe Paterno did exactly what he was supposed to do according to university policy and the law. There was no cover up on his part. I believed that then and I continue to believe that now.   As for the other administrators whom Joe reported to who allegedly perpetrated a cover up, there has been no evidence yet presented in a court of law to determine that.

As Jay so correctly points out in his book, there was no crisis management and very poor handling of the media during those first critical days. The resulting confusion was then compounded by the choice that the Board of Trustees made to relieve both president Dr. Graham Spanier and coach Joe Paterno of their duties without any investigation or due process. Jay describes the pain of those days for Joe and for his family as they try to respond to what Jay calls the train wreck.

Jay Paterno describes what it was like for the football team and for himself and his family during those confusing days and weeks. What he states is very painful to read, but it also gives good and new insight into how the Paterno family was reacting during those initial days and weeks, and what their guiding principles were.

The book also brings back memories of the dreary conclusion to the 2011 season, one that had such promise of perhaps a B1G championship or at least a good bowl selection.

Instead this football team, which had no part in Sandusky's crimes, was passed over by several bowl selection committees until finally the Ticket City Bowl agreed to extend an invitation to play against Houston.

Jay's role on the football team is of special interest here. The pressure he was under was unbelievable, at a time when his family was also confronted with the news that his dad had been diagnosed with lung cancer.

My husband Terry and I lived that pain with them as we not only witnessed the Nebraska game, we also traveled to support the team at Ohio State the following week, at Wisconsin where pedophile jokes were being shouted at us by some obnoxious fans, and at the Ticket City bowl where among other things we had to contend with Westboro Baptist Church pickets at the entrance to the stadium. We watched an excellent football team with championship potential fall apart at the end of the season.

Between the years 1990-2012 Terry attended every game Penn State played and I missed only four. Terry had also attended 426 games overall since 1970, and I had attended games since 1987..

So this book brought a lot of smiles as well. There were Jay's descriptions of critical plays that were the keys to success in certain come from behind wins.   We were in the stands for all of them.

There were those dreary years between 1998-2004 when losses piled up, especially on the road. When Terry and I would look at each other and ask each spring, "So do we really want to follow a losing team for another season?" And then we would purchase our airfare anyhow, because, well, hope sprung eternal and Joe was right - the team never quit during all those losing years. They were a play or two or a bad call or two away from winning some games that would have made the difference.

Jay's description of the 2004 season sparked a memory of an encounter Terry and I had with Dr. Graham Spanier at Ohio State. Dr. Spanier was waiting for a ride to take him to his next appointment as Terry and I were heading into the Penn State Alumni Association tailgate. We chatted a bit about the losing season. I asked him if he was getting pressure from the "Joe Must Go" crowd. He told us, "You bet. Over 200 calls or emails per day. I had to hire someone extra just to answer the phones."

Then he asked Terry and me, knowing we were long time faithful fans, what he should do. Terry and I both expressed that Joe had done so much for Penn State that, regardless of his win-loss record, he had earned the right to determine when he wanted to retire.

I concluded with this remark "You're damned if you fire him and you're damned if you don't. You are hearing from the naysayers now, and if the losses pile up there will be more of them. But I hate to imagine what the calls would be like to your office if you force Joe out. My guess is it will be a whole lot more." Dr. Spanier seemed to appreciate that input. Jay's take on the 2004 season to me was accurate when he talks about how close Joe might have come to getting fired.

There was Jay's discussion of the 2005 turnaround season, and Joe's special relationship with Michael Robinson. Jay might not have liked the word vindication, but to me it was very sweet after years of chasing losses on the road. There was also the Big Ten championship 2008 season and the horribly cold Iowa game that year where we lost at the very end of the game and I almost got trampled by Iowa fans trying to run onto the field to celebrate.

And so, colored by my own experience especially, this book is both a fun and powerful read.

Why? Because it adds so much insight into the recent history, and when you're not dealing with the painful parts of the destruction of the Paterno legacy and Penn State by the media and by how the Sandusky scandal was handled, the rest of the book is extremely insightful into the workings of the mind of a coaching legend. You learn about his recruiting philosophy, his political motivations, his relationships with other coaching legends like Bear Bryant.

And how often do you get a perspective on Joe Paterno from three different points of view: a son who was raised by him, a player who was coached by him, and an employee who was supervised by him?

Jay Paterno provides all three of these perspectives and does it with a writing style that's not only engaging, but hard to put down.

I never witnessed my father at work. That was his separate life, and he hardly ever talked about it at home. It was only at his retirement party that I finally understood how many people revered him and what he did for his company. Most of us are similar to me. We go through life barely understanding how our fathers or mothers operate at work.

Jay had the privilege of seeing how his father operated in all areas and described how his dad approached decisions in ways that will bring new insights into how he managed to win for all those years. There were notes that Jay found and shares in this book that provide insights into his thinking about the Big Ten, about certain critical seasons.

Jay also shared the struggles of watching his father die amidst all the turmoil. The joyful moments and the sad moments. The many many visitors and phone calls. The descriptions of his dad's intentions and his final thoughts.

Jay gives good insight into why the Paterno family continues to take action, including legal action, to get to the truth.   Clearing Joe Paterno's name and legacy is only part of their motivation, but they also have worked to get at the truth of what really happened so that people can be educated about how to prevent further victims of child sexual abuse from "nice guy" predators.

Their love for Penn State comes through in their legal attempts to counter the false narrative of the Freeh report, with all the damage it wrought upon the university.   In fact, when reading this book, it's at times hard to understand why the Paternos continue to want to support Penn State. But they do so with grace and class.

Overall, the book confirms once again how much the world gained by Joe Paterno's life and what we lost when Joe Paterno passed away. The life lessons he imparted on several generations of football players and on all others who came to know him will have an impact for years and years to come.

As soon as it's available, get this book and soak it up. It will make you cry. It will make you angry. It will make you smile. It will give you insights that perhaps you can use in your work or your daily life.

And to Jay I say, congratulations for a job well done.

You told a bold story in a forthright manner, and it is one of the best books I've read in a while. For everything you and your family are going through as the truth of Penn State's involvement in the Sandusky crimes has yet to be determined in a court of law, you will continue to be in my prayers.