VIKTIMA

2012-10-22T00:05:00.001-04:00

tome...maryam nassir zadeh...we like to keep our pants as slim-fit as possible...sandy from grease style...but sometimes we need some breathing room in order to avoid constrictions...if you know what we mean...

2012-10-21T22:31:00.001-04:00

arielle de pinto...opening ceremony...it's fall...no, no, no—autumn—far more sophisticated...so it's autumn...duh...and we're in dire need of boots...but leather and suede are overrated...so we're gonna go ahead and go the crochet route...

2012-10-10T10:51:00.001-04:00

valentino...net-a-porter...when we were youngins we had this lady pick us up from school...our parents worked long hours and we lived far from school...this lady didn't allow her own kids to watch tv...they came out very weird...and they all had a cleft chin like her...in any case...she wore really long culottes, with striped polo style shirts and plain keds or espadrilles...we alway remember long-ass shorts because of her...we'd like to honor her with these leather valentinos...

2012-10-10T10:40:00.000-04:00

felted fantasies...etsy...as the mercury continues to dip...we need warmth both inside our hearts and on our chubby skin...few things are warmer than felt (albeit it itchy—but scratching produces heat) and kissing kitties...or whispering kitties...we can't tell which...does it really matter?

2012-10-10T10:29:00.002-04:00

creatures of comfort...creatures of comfort...so the second date with the fella didn't go so well...we've got to ante up the sexy quotient...we figure this dress is the ticket...

2012-10-09T10:10:00.001-04:00

acne...totokaelo...lug sole...patent accent...cut outs...laces in one spot...velcro in another...this shoe couldn't be more sublime if it tried...

2012-10-09T10:02:00.000-04:00

nasir mazhar...opening ceremony...in order to hide our humps we like to employ the use of sartorial distractions...in this case...beads and fur in the shape of a backpack...

2012-10-08T11:55:00.000-04:00

isabel marant...maryam nassir zadeh...as the mercury drops, naturally we need to invest in cold-weather wear...but we especially like sweaters we can have a good cold or flu in...and wipe our noses on the edges of the wrist...

2012-10-08T11:42:00.000-04:00

emmanuelle...creatures of comfort...not surprisingly the fella that took us out last week is ready for some mo' of the viktims...and who could blame him? the dress we wore nearly caused his socks to combust...so we have to come back with another double whammy to seal the deal...

2012-10-05T10:52:00.004-04:00

merlo designs...etsy...since we've been left speechless by the beauty of these shoes...we'll leave you with the designer's description: "For the forest nymph inside your soul, these little bitches are six inches of do-me-in-the-forest"...

2012-10-05T10:45:00.001-04:00

ann demeulemeester...luisaviaroma...we've always had dreams of being go-go dancers on an indian reservation...is it indian reservation or native american reservation...we've yet to hear anyone say "native american reservation"...

2012-10-05T10:37:00.001-04:00

acne...opening ceremony...whenever people move in and out of our building, the elevator is always lined with puffy, quilted stuff...we always thought it was for people who went insane from the stress of the move...apparently it's so the lift doesn't get all scratched up...weird...duh...

2012-10-04T12:23:00.000-04:00

united bamboo...creatures of comfort...so we have a blind date coming up...and you know we have to keep this fool's tongue wagging...so what do we do? we find the sexiest dress on the market...the kind that hugs every curve and shows off the cankles of the century...

2012-10-04T12:12:00.002-04:00

salvador kitti...etsy...we can't think of better original artwork on a bag than startled sea otters...the fools on the streets are going to be startled AND stunned once they see us with this fly piece...

2012-10-04T12:03:00.001-04:00

robert clergerie...totokaelo...we're always looking for the most beautiful way to show off our cankles...there's nothing we can do about them...so we celebrate and honor our ankle/calf fat...

2012-10-03T11:59:00.000-04:00

marques’almeida...opening ceremony...the sartorial version of pulled pork...makes our thigh fat protrude in the most appetizing way, too!

2012-10-03T11:51:00.000-04:00

martin margiela...creatures of comfort...we can barely walk...we can barely breathe...we can't sit down...and we'll most likely have to see the doctor in a month's time...but we look really cute...labor day...schmabor day...

2012-10-03T11:06:00.000-04:00

rachel comey...totokaelo...if orthopedic high fashion shoes ceased to exist...so would we...

2012-10-01T11:14:00.002-04:00

sabrina tach...etsy...good stuff...we can wear the bucket bag with our industry of all nations skirt to the ratt concert at the meadowlands...but hold up, hold up...pause...we need to ask...what's up with your girl wearing mom jeans walking around like lady godiva?

2012-10-01T11:01:00.000-04:00

jil sander...bloomingdale's...when we were wee ones we had a leg that was shorter than the other...we had to wear orthopedic shoes to correct that...sometimes we still do...

2012-10-01T10:52:00.002-04:00

carven...opening ceremony...we actually like the idea of a big ole church window on our bulging bellies...

2012-10-01T10:47:00.000-04:00

industry of all nations...creatures of comfort...circa 1984...dirk (captain of the A/V club, standing near our lockers): hey viktims, are you going to the ratt concert at the meadowlands this friday?...the viktims: only if you're paying...otherwise we have to wash our hair and try on our skirts...

2012-09-28T09:57:00.000-04:00

haute faux sure...etsy...when it gets cold...we want our legs to look hot...plain and simple...and we don't mind looking like we're going to a concert where mollies are as plentiful as ritz crackers...

2012-09-28T09:23:00.000-04:00

pushbutton...opening ceremony...not only does this blouse have great architecture as a print...it also has pronounced architectural boobies to give us all that extra bit of point madge was able to have in the early 90s...

2012-09-26T10:47:00.003-04:00

pleaser...endless...ok, let's clear up one thing...tee hee...CLEAR! we've never been to the pole...we haven't encountered a gentleman's club that fancied our blubbery, pimpled and bacne'd bodies yet...their loss...later for them...and while we're viktims of sky high high fashion...we'll entertain the prospect of a budget item...especially when there's a built-in tip jar...