Vinayak Gole

The Carton of Happiness:

2015-03-21T14:47:00.002+05:30

Take a sleepy man and put him on a roller coaster. What you get is the first year of fatherhood. The sleep won’t let you be active and the roller coaster won’t let you sleep. If at all you do, then what you get is an unbelievable mix of dreams and nightmares. And I stood exactly at that juncture, when I realized we were on the last three boxes of Lactogen. The carton stood empty. Vivaan was one!

And Viv had it all; from a tricycle he couldn’t yet ride to innumerable action hero figures, to cars and trucks. But nothing ever managed to hold his attention for more than a couple of hours. Every toy ultimately landed up in his storage bucket which the toys were soon outgrowing. When Viv was on the last few boxes of Lactogen, a brainwave hit me. Why not put his old toys into the empty carton? That should free up some space in our already cramped household. When I got the carton out, a very strange thing happened. Viv squealed with delight. He jumped right into the carton and got his favorite toys into it as well. To make things better for him, I tied a rope to the carton, and pulled him around. He had never been this happy with any of his toys.

On a regular day, on my way to work, the philosophical side of my brain got thinking. What was so wonderful about the ordinary cardboard carton that made Viv so happy? Why was it so much better than the other sophisticated and battery operated toys he had? Much deliberation saw me arriving at a very unusual answer. And the answer was simplicity. The complicated toys gave him little room to innovate. The truck had to be pushed in a particular way and the action figure had to be turned in a particular way. There was never the freedom to exercise his will. And that’s where the simple carton chipped in. It was a car, it was a chair or it could be anything that his mind could picture it to be!!

And we live our everyday life, wound up around complications. Working hard to solve problems while the best things in life are so simple. We run after material pleasures and ignore the simple everyday moments of happiness which life sprinkles around us. We want complicated toys to compare with peers. We want appreciations for having learnt how to handle complicated toys. But we fail to evaluate if these are actually achievements. An achievement need not always be complicated. We have conditioned ourselves to believe that anything simple cannot be interesting at all. And Viv in his innocent and uncomplicated mind could easily evaluate and rank the carton much above cars, trucks and heroes.

It would take come 'un'conditioning to see the simplicity in everyday lives. But I guess it should not be very difficult. If a child can do it, with his nascent neural ability, it should not be very difficult for us with 15 years of formal education. It should not be very difficult to realize, that true happiness lies in the carton and not in anything else.

Molested, assaulted, raped?

2013-12-02T12:05:00.000+05:30

The entire world is up in arms. There are people with placards and black bands, holding hands, united in revolution. There are journalists writing up incriminating articles in the papers and there are the television presenters, with their uncanny ability to drag a debate till infinity, moderating discussions. It’s a liberated world; it’s a world which feels for the woman, it’s a world which recognizes her pain, her trauma and her anxiety. She has been molested, no because it left like an assault, but not still because she has been raped!!!

Liberation and freedom arrived in India only recently with the recent recognition as an IT powerhouse. The ordinary middle class now had an opportunity to visit foreign countries and explore diverse cultures. The Indian ladies now had the privilege of having the doors opened for them, being treated as equals and more importantly they were now a part of every male bastion previously considered a taboo. Parties in office now had women invitees, who indulged and to some extent even competed in their capacity of alcohol intake. But alcohol seldom comes without the company of tobacco. Ladies in traditional salwar kameeses now could be seen matching butt by butt with the traditional male smokers. Soon, the culture had spread to the other divisions of the working middle class.

But some things have never really changed over all these years. People want values and honor but also want the adventure that freedom offers. People want the tattoos but not the pain associated with them. The law always respects and protects the woman because she cannot ever really let her own modesty be outraged. But what if the woman is not in her senses? What if there is another side to the story? There is the very senior and respectable Judge who has been accused of molestation. There is a doctor who has been accused, tried and also sentenced. Sexual assault and molestation to some extent have become everything except what they really are.

When Shri reached his designated work center in a well-known company’s office, he was hardly surprised to get a call from the project manager. Shri has been known to be a straight talker and often ended up offending people. Fresh out of college and still a rebel at heart, he found it difficult to fit into the discipline and rigor of processes and procedures. He was in for a shock when he found that he had been accused of abusing a lady colleague. Though he was quick to apologize publicly and save his job, he still harbors a fear for women. Turns out, Shri and the colleague had an argument over an assignment. Argument soon led to a tiff and Shri, never one to mince his words, told her, he would do what he pleased and she should mind her own business. The next day, the complaint stated, he had used expletives to get prove his point. The lady eventually quit the company, married someone rich and Shri heads the technology division of a startup. But the small incident has led him to a trauma so great that today he has to be counselled into marriage!

Is it the man’s fault if a woman, not completely in her senses responds to his advances? Is it the man, who is at fault if he invites an intern, old enough to be his daughter to his residence? Is it Shri’s fault that he lost his temper on a woman? Or is it the fault of the thousands of men who are accused by unscrupulous women of dowry, abuse, harassment, assault and even rape? Isn’t it time for the country’s legislature to get better equipped legal machinery? All these questions need to be answered and answered fast so justice can be delivered and not be used as a weapon for revenge. It’s time for better investigation and much better laws. It’s time for better use of technology to aid justice and sense rather than blind faith in archaic laws. It’s time grow up!

Love and God: The power of Devotion

2013-10-13T12:08:00.000+05:30

The air is garnished with fragrant smoke from incense sticks, Sindoor has colored the world red, the drums play popular numbers at deafening decibel levels, and there is a lot of dance with humanity indulging in everything considered a taboo otherwise. The air is ripe with devotion. Everybody is busy worshipping faith in human form in their own special way. There’s revelry, there’s rowdism and there is God; sitting mute witness to the suffering of heart patients, expectant mothers and studious students. God being worshipped by everyone from stars to the dusters and faith left in the background. Everyone is so busy worshipping and praying they have forgotten what really binds them to their God, faith - the invisible force that brings a devotee closer to the creator.

Somewhere else, some other day, the lady was missing her love. They had recently broken up and she just couldn’t fathom the fact that he could leave her. She missed the days when life was full of romance and little surprises. She worshipped him and cared for him. But in the end it just could not be. And now she was just missing all the love.

Sudeep had been married for 5 years now, had a lovely, loving wife and an adoring son. In his quest to provide the best for his family, he had drowned himself in work. He had struggled and fought and accepted challenges and somewhere down the line, had become selfish to the core. He had recently stumbled upon some texts which indicated his wife was in an intimate relationship with a colleague. She however maintained that it was purely platonic and she had been forced to look for emotional support during his love affair with his career. He was completely broken now; left with a superficial sense of achievement and the reality of loss.

Nobody could really explain love. Nor could anyone explain miracles or faith. Both love and faith are merely a form of devotion. The more devoted you are to a belief, the more your faith in it. The more devoted you are to your partner, the more you feel the love. But our moral and childhood conditioning does not allow us to believe in faith itself. Faith needs a face, and we find that face in our Gods. Likewise devotion by itself is too bland. Devotion needs drama, and we find it in love. The simple emotion of devotion by itself has been left as completely useless. We change our loyalties and keep switching between Gods and faiths. We have created religions, rules, rituals and holy books. We have the option to switch between those to keep our hunger for finding new ways to keep faith engrossed. We seldom seek happiness in the love that we have in our lives. We take the love of our lovers for granted. We are always in the search for new avenues to try and find that one everlasting love which will be absolutely perfect. But just like we can never find God, we never find that evasive love.

I do not believe that there are Gods somewhere who miraculously bring about change. But I believe in faith. Faith can move mountains and faith can help us win. I do not believe in love but I believe in being devoted to my partner. God and love are two sides of the same coin called devotion. And until we realize this fact, we will forever be chasing, exploring and digging but ever really finding, either the true God or true love.

Accepting the expected!

2013-08-04T20:37:00.002+05:30

Life is an adventure and we keep searching for new stories to tell everyday. We look for anamolys in our in our day to day life to keep the mundane from ruling. But the everyday life is more than just that. It is boring! The day is a schedule and the chores are routine. Right from waking up in the morning to turning in at night, there is nothing new happening. Everything is predictable. Everything is as expected!

And it is so difficult to accept, isn't it? That the everyday cannot be unpredictable. Many of my colleagues complain about living the same mundane routine at work everyday. In fact, the day is so much predictable that they even know the time when the "Eye of the Manager" would see them. Most of their frustrations is because they want something new. And that "something" new just isn't available. I always advise them to understand that nothing will ever change. They just have to accept the expected.

My wife keeps complaining about how mundane the daily life is. By the time it is the weekend, she is all ready to hop on to the mall or to the nearest multiplex. Is she really interested in shopping? Or even the movie for that matter? No, it is just a way to break away. Ogling at clothes on a mannequin or munching away at cheese popcorn is just a way break from the daily cooking and cleaning. And to her, I say the same thing...Accept the daily expected.

All of us are completely fed up of the monotonous life we lead for a change in the routine you need to be a superhero or a mutant. The other best way of dealing with the monotony is to accept. There are small changes which can be brought about by means of some creative pursuits or maybe travel but that is about it. Even art can be a drag and writers are known to have suffered from writers blocks.

Accepting the expected is not a gift bur an effort. Practice and perseverance can help achieve a happier, contented and useful life!! Think about it.

Health scares are just....Scary!!

2013-08-03T16:48:00.000+05:30

Every day some or the other group of scientists are busy working on a new scare. If one group is busy proving the ill effects of coffee, the other group is busy proving natural remedies are for quacks. Everything from everyday cooking oil to the sun's rays is being used to prove just one thing-Everything is unhealthy. And these educationally enlightened could just be right. Because everything is harmful when done in excess. A cup of coffee never harmed anyone but eight cups a day would definitely be unhealthy. Brushing teeth twice a day is considered healthy but brushing eight to ten times could just brush away the teeth.Health scares most of the times are just that..scares.

Recently the CEO of a well known IT company had a fatal heart attack while running on the treadmill. He had the habit of surviving on four hours of sleep and religiously following his morning exercise routine. Even exercise in excess is harmful. The body needs rest as much as it needs its workout. Everyone knows about the ill effects of the sun's rays. But aren't these very rays the source of vitamin D? Sunlight becomes harmful when soaked in excess.

Maintaining a balance is very essential for anything. A certain amount of fats are just as essential for the body as carbohydrates or proteins. The brain needs to work to be fit and fine. But after every couple of hours it needs rest so it can be ready for the next job at hand. Every job, every task and every aspect of life needs a bit of both good and bad. Any good in excess is bad and any bad within limits is good.

The millions of health scares seen everyday might be good for research documents and conferences but when it comes to everyday life, the decision to understand what is advisable and what is not is entirely in our hands. Instead of being alarmed, every time a new study is released, be pragmatic. Understand what is being studied and in what quantities. Quitting your daily cup of coffee could only prove harmful and not really healthy. Get the best out of the study and leave out the rest. And study your own daily pattern to understand what works and what doesn’t. And for the great health studies and the subsequent scare, let them just be scares and nothing more.

The Marriage Conundrum

2012-10-30T20:52:00.000+05:30

There are so many stories around marriage and so many incidences around it. But recently I came across an article about a 39 year old man who had hanged himself because he had not been able to marry. Again, it got me wondering about how important marriage is in our great Indian culture. We talk about modernism but we still stick to the old orthodox ways which press for marriage as a sure way to mate. When will it all change? We build computers and software, we launch rockets and satellites but we are still unable to launch ourselves into the future.

There was a time when it was necessary to mate. The world was a much dangerous planet to live in. Wars and disease took away many a lives. Education and knowledge would come, but it was important to marry first. And it did make sense in that insecure and unsafe world. Everyone had to marry to reproduce. And in case they lost an offspring to disease, there would be others to carry on the legacy of the family. The old world also saw a barrage of wars. The world today though not entirely free of them, is still a safer place to reside in. There are murders but no homicides. There are robberies but no dacoits. Yes, it definitely is safer.

Whereas the rest of the world has awakened to the unnecessary implications of marriage, the Indian society is still struggling. The funny part is, the cycle of life, never stops. Once you marry, you are supposed to have children. Once you have children, you are supposed to care for their education. By the time you are done raising them, you are supposed to get them married off. This absolutely fantastic institution which should now be allowed to focus on companionship is still languishing on the throes of orthodox thinking.

Why should someone marry if he has not found the right partner? Why be forced into a marriage just because he is getting older by the day? Will the torture of peer pressure end once he is married? No, it doesn’t. And worse, is the vicious barrage of taunts and insults that one has to face if he is past the “marriage”able age and not yet into the institution.

Please understand that there is a life beyond this institution of reproduction. Please realise that there is knowledge to seek and a career to make. Please know that, marriage is not the sole purpose of life. Marriage demands commitment and dedication. And not everyone is meant to or supposed to give their everything to this institution. Many an intellectual research paper would have been lost to marriage. Many a symphony and many a painting would have been sacrificed to raising a family.

Modernity does not come from eating burgers and drinking sodas. Modernity also isn’t about computers and smartphones. It is a state of the mind which has to be developed that way. There are many who are trapped in meaningless marriages, who are afraid to get out for fear of society. Then there are others who go into hiding because of unsuccessful marriages. This whole marriage puzzle can be solved only by improving the mind set of society. It’s time we woke up to the futility of being forced into a marriage. Or this is the beginning of many more suicides to come.

Revenge gives meaning to life:

2012-10-23T23:17:00.000+05:30

Everyone preaches about forgiveness. From self help books to gurus to teachers, everyone feels that revenge is what causes most of our worldly troubles. Revenge is what causes wars. Revenge is what causes people to ruin their entire lives. Revenge is the worst of our emotions. But is it really the case? Is revenge such a bad thing? We always look at the wars and the destruction but revenge has also been the best main ingredient in bringing out the best in all of us.

Revenge has brought to us some of the best art, science and even the best investments. Revenge has been instrumental in the forging of the Chanakya Neeti, the foremost text on politics. Revenge is actually a very misunderstood emotion. Its easy to ignore it and focus on the love, just like it is easy to ignore the bad and focus on the good. But we all have to face the bad in us to understand importance of the good.

Revenge utilized in the right manner can yield the best results. Yes, it can be a bit stressful but then, it does bring out the best in you. When I run, I think about all the bad things that people have done to me, and I run more, I run faster. Is it bad? I don't think so, because for me it is just motivation. I have seen people who use revenge as a motivation to work harder. A dear friend of mine, worked up a whole successful business just to get back at the system. And he has been highly successful in the system but living his own way. Revenge can be so useful sometimes.

I have some incidences which I have not been able to forget over the years. The taunts I faced when I was looking for a job made me look out more dedicatedly. Every time I decided to give up, some one or the other would remind me of my joblessness and I would fight back. Finally, I did land up a fantastic job, which I never felt the need to leave. Revenge is just wonderful sometimes.

Instead of burning in the fire that vengeance brings, it is much useful to use the fire to to forge weapons. Every emotion is a feeling. Every emotion is a weapon. Use it to sink or use it to fight. Use it to lose, or use it to win. Revenge does have a better purpose than we have known it to have. Use it!!

Rise and Stand up:

2012-10-12T23:42:00.002+05:30

Over the years, I have read quite a wide variety of philosophical books. And invariably, every one teaches us restraint and patience. From saints to preachers, everyone has the same set of advise. Conquer anger, conquer fear and conquer your mind.But how much is enough? Where do you draw the line, that you are no longer trampled on? At some point of time, it becomes imperative to show them, that you do have the power to be irritated. And yes, they do have to be told, "Mess with the best, die like the rest."

A very old friend of mine, has her ex chasing even after their break up. And he makes it a point to put her down, in some way or the other. Their prolonged relationship has given him the edge. He knows all her weaknesses and pressure points. And she just blows her top and cribs but just cant turn her ex away.

Another good colleague of mine is grappling with his boss. He is under constant fear of losing out on a good appraisal. The boss senses this and makes him slog more. The end is never in sight. I told him once, that he should stop caring more about the life he is losing out on and less about having a good appraisal and a promotion. What use is the money, if you do not have a life to spend it on. But alas, my words fall on deaf ears.

How much can we or do we have to actually endure before we draw the line? And is it really necessary to endure someone else's whims and idiosyncrasies? We got this life to live it our way. We have obligations and we have responsibilities but is that what life is all about? Once in a while, it becomes necessary to show people that you do have a heart and it hurts. It's easy to be trampled upon once, twice, ten times...but then, it becomes a habit. And we learn to accept being trampled upon. Every once in a while, let it go. Let the world realize that there is a side to you which does not accept everything lying down.

Every once in a while..it's just not enough to be the punching bag....Rise..

What we forgot about Gandhi: Being Minimalistic

2012-10-02T23:55:00.002+05:30

It's a strange day. It's a day when you are not supposed to work because it is the Birthday of the Father of the Nation-Mahatma Gandhi. Ironic I say. A compulsory holiday for a man who never ceased to work? But that is just the beginning of the strange.

I step out on the road expecting less traffic. But the roads are jammed worse than ever. Everyone is out shopping or visiting. I wonder, would Bapu really want us to stay at home, laze around or to go visit the mall on his birthday? I wonder. The shops are doing brisk business. One of the shopkeepers tells me, "Business is better today than ever. Thanks to Bapu." He winks. And I wonder. Is this how we want to celebrate the birthday of a man who survived on minimalistic needs? Is this really the free India he imagined? Is this the Freedom that he struggled for?

As India stands on the verge of a revolution in the retail business, a question raises. Is all this talk about freedom from foreign rule just a humbug? I agree that as a nation progresses it has to rely on other nations to survive and grow. But the one thing that India symbolized is no longer existent-Freedom. The world's largest democracy is today a symbol of corruption and crime. And is it really free from foreign rule? The biggest investments in the country are from foreign investors. The biggest employers in the country are foreign companies. The best companies in India are foreigners.

I look around and I see people desperate for more. More salaries, more money to spend, more gifts, more love, more alcohol, more shopping, more lovers...the list never ends. A nation that was built on the ideals of a man, known for his simplistic needs, today bleeds for everything that he hated. Bapu lived his entire life on just about two pieces of clothing. And today we have our wardrobes full and still want more. We eat so much that we have to actually find diets. We spend so much that our salaries seem low. This is the new country. A country built on values of simplicity is today too busy to even slow down and wonder what went wrong.

Being minimalistic has so many virtues. The biggest being that of being satisfied. But the desire for more never lets us be. People change jobs faster than they change their clothes. Companies no longer want to reward their employees but show more money on their balance sheets. A kid grows up to burger and ice creams and not to rotis and sabzis. Parents want their children to study more, get better marks, get more degrees. I wonder what the cost of progress has been. A society fed on the need for more.

I wonder when we realize that we were meant to be Minimalists and not Capitalists. So long Bapu. Happy Birthday!!

The saint in the Rikshaw:

2012-09-30T00:28:00.000+05:30

I had read somewhere a long time ago that there were saints everywhere and they appeared as and when they were needed. They live amongst us, protecting us, helping us in our everyday struggle with life. When we give up hope, they appear out of nowhere to motivate us not to give up our fight against life. And for long I have believed them to be angels working with us to make our lives easier. And for ever, I have placed them at par with Gods.

And so it has been that whenever I have been troubled, a stranger has come up to hold me. The past few days, I have been bothered about how the office space. I have been bothered about the evil that men do to project the good in them. I have been swallowed by sycophancy, I have been devoured by debauchery, I have been troubled by the troublemakers. And in this troubled mind, I hail a riksaw, almost when I had given up hope of finding one.

The people seemed to have found the Lord on the streets, with everyone in this city stepping out to see the Lord Ganesha off on the penultimate day of his visit to the common world. The traffic was in a state of stationary inertia and the tempers hotter than the weather, when the old man at the wheel said, "What a waste of money. Do you think the God wants to listen to these songs as his so called devotees dance in a drunken trance?"

And that was just the beginning of a wonderful discussion we had on God, life, treachery, struggle and the evil that men do to win. I was taken aback with the knowledge that this seemingly uneducated old man had about the scriptures and the philosophy of life. I asked him why was it that evil always won and why should I even believe in God because he seems to be doing nothing about the evil around him. His reply was that evil only seemed to win but never did. In the long term, it is the Good that wins and not the Bad. When I asked him about people who would go to any extent just to win a promotion, he asked me to be patient and wait for the results.

By the time I got out of the rikshaw, I stood impressed by the ability of this man to understand life and how firm he was in his beliefs. If we could all understand what we actually stand for, the world would be such a better place. However, we always live by what the others have to say or do. We have idols and ideals but never enough dedication to ourselves. Its amazing how we worship people but never ourselves. Food for thought from a rikshawalla?

Give a damn someone...

2012-09-27T23:49:00.002+05:30

It's been five years since I have been writing. And I have been getting better by the day. One of the abilities that I have been especially proud of has been my ability to rhyme. I might not be as good as Eminem but I am still better than most of the others. And my verses however silly have been able to bring a smile to the lips of people I have written them for.

I recently decided to put up my verses online where not just the incumbents but everyone would be able to enjoy them. And surprise! No one seems to be interested. It takes more effort than writing about a recipe, writing a peom. With all the rhymes, working together to bring meaning to the fore, the abstract materializing into emotions and feelings, the real essence of poetry emerges from the corners of the words.

But now comes the best part. Just a handful ever understand poetry. Isnt it so ironic? People would love an article I write about inter racial dating and argue and discuss over it. But no one has time to discuss the nuances of poetry. Its all the same to them. Ladies would love poetry written for them but would never try to understand what it really means. People love the words I write about the world but no one would like to read them again. A movie review or a phone review would generate more interests.

I now very well understand the angst and the anger of abstract artists. So few actually understand or even try to understand the real meaning behind the brush strokes. Likewise for poetry. Simple poetry is hated because it is not complex enough to be poetry. Complex poetry is too difficult for the simple minds to understand. I do keep the faith and I do try to keep my spirits up when I write.

But in the end, I guess it will be just for me to read. I wonder how the voracious appetite for information has been so detrimental to the fine arts. Noone appreciates a good painter on the streets anymore because he isn't existing on Facebook. Noone cares about the talented casual writer because he doesn't have a marketing campaign on twitter. And nobody gives a damn about a silly poet who doesn't have a huge list of followers on his blog.

I hope and I pray that one of these days someone or at least God will wake up to the plight of people who write or who paint or who can sing or who can play. And maybe someday, the internet would not just be an information seeking medium but also a place where people can really appreciate art and share it too. Someday some body will give a damn...

A worthy Life

2012-09-24T22:51:00.000+05:30

Many fathers have died before us,

One day we will die as well.

But have we made our lives worth,

Only our deeds will tell.

Live for the own self,

But work not for this self.

Make life good and better,

For everyone, self and latter.

Follow principles but not them rules,

Live proud, unlike common fools.

Educate, learn not just study,

Work clean, even when all is muddy.

Make them happy, who do you good,

Try and forgive, others who are rude.

Life is a journey, travel it well,

Help those, on the way, who fell.

Take every moment, but plan ahead,

Who knows, in a moment, you could be dead.

Live proud, even after the death,

Be remembered as the best guy they ever met.

Words for me:

2012-09-15T23:29:00.002+05:30

He says..write some happy words,

Write about the green grass and birds.

Not always about being sad,

Or just about being raving mad.

She says.. write me a happy verse,

Not ways about ghosts or a curse.

Write about the blue sky wide,

Or a wonderful fantasy ride.

They say..kid write to sell and be famous,

Not about being here, anonymous.

Write what the readers need to read,

Not about fulfilling your writing need.

I say..who cares about this or that,

Happiness, madness, rat’s scat!!

I write ‘cos it makes me be,

This is me, wake up and see.

In the middle:

2012-09-11T23:31:00.001+05:30

I stand taller than,
Most of the men around can.
But not tall enough,
To be the tall and handsome stuff.

In the middle, I stand,
Trying magic without a wand.
Never high, never low,
Never hollow, but still shallow.

I earn better than,
Many workers around can.
But not well enough,
To be counted among the rich dough.

In the middle, I count,
Trying hard to earn another round.
Never too high, never too low,
Just enough to not beg and bow.

I fit in a better class in society,
But not good enough for high tea.
Just about better than the least lower,
Somewhere in the middle class I hover.

It’s always about being in the middle,
Never the best, always second fiddle.
It’s always about being just a bit better,
Than being the last to the letter.

I am better than most,
But never good enough to be the toast.
This is where it ends to be fair,
To be stuck in the middle of nowhere.

Ironic, I feel ‘cos we should really matter,
We make the balance, we the latter.
But never do we get the best of deals,
Just leftovers and the steals.

Well, all you middle men,
Wake up, stop being hen in the pen.
The world is for your taking,
We need more of you heroes in the making.

Sleepless:

2012-09-02T23:39:00.000+05:30

Dark indeed is the night,

Not a soul alive in sight,
Except me staring at the fan,
Trying hard, to sleep, if I can.

The window shows me a scary sight,
Dark tree, dark leaves, nothings right,
I stare at the clouds hiding the moon,
And I hope he shines, coming out soon.

Lightless is the night, dark to see,
Sleepless and loneliness, all for me,
I fight to rest, to sleep well,
But again I lose, today as well.

I curse the clock, racing away,
Master of time, its hand a-sway,
I curse myself, fading away,
Into the void, falling astray.

Its 3 am now, I give up,
Another night awake, times almost up,
And then it happens, I slip in,
Forget, rest and sleep within.

I wish, I could be asleep like the tree,
Falling to nothing, nothing to worry,
But cursed I am to the human mind,
To worries, it seems to be a bit kind.

Mornings here; sun, rise and shine,
But I am still on this sleepless wine,
Another day, spent to lethargic plight,
Another hope, tonight I will sleep right.

Thoughtless

2012-08-22T23:48:00.000+05:30

Ever wondered, how forever we are bounded by thoughts? Good thoughts, bad thoughts, but thoughts everywhere. I could never understand how the brain works and where all these thoughts come from (the scientists claim they do). I wonder if they will ever be decoded, thoughts.

But there is a space in our lives, our everyday lives, where we can be absolutely thoughtless. Some call it meditation, a place, a state of the mind when the mind sleeps. But such is the hustle and bustle of success, we forget to rest our tired mind. And the poor mind toils and toils hard.

I ask you, how much does it take to rest the mind? What is it worth to be thoughtless for a while?

Ever since we start understanding the scheme of things all we ever do is to worry. We worry about being alone and we worry about when our next meal is gonna come. We worry about success and we worry about failure. And when we are not worrying, we wonder. We wonder about happiness and we wonder about peace. We wonder about good things and how everything will be all right. What we do not ever realize that sometimes, being still is fun. No worries and no wondering. But we are just too busy to ever notice.

Take a break sometimes. And by a break, I do not mean a holiday. Just be still for some time everyday, when thoughts and worries do not attack your mind. Stay in a state of absolute inertia. Find your cocoon. Meditation is not about stilling still in a place and thinking. Meditation is about finding a place or an activity which leaves you completely thoughtless.

I found it in the gym. I do not workout to have a wonderful physique. But I go there to be absolutely thoughtless. An hour of absolutely no thoughts, just sweat and peace. Reema, a colleague found peace in her quest for the perfect picture. Only, she would paint that picture. Aryan, on the other hand finds peace when he is listening to his favorite music. In the end, all that matters is resting the poor tired mind.

Try it, break free, find peace. Stay Thoughtless!

Leave the women alone!!!

2012-07-29T17:59:00.000+05:30

I recently read an article by well-known author Chetan Bhagat, condemning the state of women in our country. He implored his fellow countrymen to look beyond the phulkas and understand the contribution women can make to the society. Then there is this famous writer and feminist who has been imploring women to get on beyond the kitchen and explore other avenues. And then we have this famous actor, pulling up men for the atrocities committed against women.

I recently read about a very dynamic lady in Gujarat who had turned her backyard dairy into a full-fledged business worth crores of rupees. Has she moved beyond the kitchen? Probably not. I am sure her family still enjoys the wonderful meals she cooks up for them every day. I have a colleague who makes wonderful paranthas and gets them in the tiffin every day. And the appreciation, she says, inspires her more to try out new recipes. Has she moved on beyond the kitchen? I wonder.

If women like cooking (which in most cases they do) why are we forcing them to move on? Everyone wants a piece of the pie in the advice for women. Everyone wants them to do this and do that. Some want them to work; some want them to look beyond child rearing and other want them to move beyond the kitchen. All of the above are basic qualities which all women have in them. And if they want to and like to be able to continue doing so, why force them to stop doing what comes naturally?

Men might be good cooks. I, myself can cook quite well but the taste of my mother’s cooking, is something I have never been able to inherit. Every now and then, comes this bit of advice to the men to try cooking and try their hand at housework. But if a certain gentleman simply cannot cook, (and that is the case with most of them) why force them to change roles. Would Mr.Bhagat like to marry the CEO of Yahoo, whom he praises so diligently? Or would the famous feminist like to force her husband to dust her bungalow? It’s very easy to preach!!!

And these middle class everyday working women fall for these illogical articles which do not make sense at all. Many of my colleagues wonder why they have to cook and their husbands shouldn’t. My question to them is, if the husband does cook, will you be able to eat it? Instead give him a chore he will be able to do better.

I would like to implore all the ladies in the world who feel that being in the kitchen is a woe, to check out the praises and appreciations that come with a well cooked meal. Trust me, they are better and more worth than some stupid article imploring you to break out of the kitchen. Take the kitchen as a choice and not a chore. Be there if you like it. Don’t just quit on the wonderful meals just because some limelight hogging feminist or author think otherwise.

Strange beautiful data: the art of visualization

2012-07-04T23:46:00.001+05:30

After years of learning and forgetting one technology after the other, I had almost given up on the life I would be living in the future. A sad, monotonous life spent making love to the computer screen in front of me. I dread the feeling.

I have never been one of the humongous crowd of self professed lovers of analytical powers. I have no clue how a balloon can fill a room or how I can fill a 5 L jug with a 3 L jug and frankly I don't and never did care. I never found writing code challenging or solving puzzles a way to feed my dying ego. I detested my job for lacking something that defines our very existence...color.

They say, there is music everywhere. I believe there is art everywhere, not just music. Notes and colors define why we exist. But sadly we never notice. We love gray and would be only too happy to go and waste ourselves in a sad depressing color. And then, about five years ago, I got pulled into the world of colorful data.

Data is perhaps the most interesting faucet of our lives, but like colors and notes, data gets ignored too. Sherlock Holmes, screams in desperation, "Data, data. I can not be expected to solve a case without Data." And today, data is recognized not just by individuals but also by large organizations as the primary source for influencing decisions. But what use is data that is gray?

And that is where the art of visualization comes in. Giving meaning to data, making it presentable and readable and painting numbers on the screens of users is perhaps a more tedious job than coding. When I started building my first dashboard, I was more frustrated than Picasso doing his first painting. The color combination, the background, the design and the look of the graphs and the charts was more tedious than I had ever imagined.

After several attempts and frustration, here is my first tangible attempt at a dashboard.

Surya Dev: The Sun God

2012-07-02T23:16:00.001+05:30

With the power to give and take life, the sun, is the most powerful of the elements that surround us. Resplendent in the blue skies around him, Surya Dev or the Sun God can only be bowed to.

Next is what?

2012-07-02T23:14:00.001+05:30

One of my good friends recently joined a small company with a really big package. All these years, she had been this average girl next door, who seemed to be happy with whatever she ever got in life. All she wanted was enough money to pull her through her treks to the Himalayas. And suddenly she was a big star. A person grossly underestimated by the people around her. It wasn’t long before people did start discouraging her. “Are you sure the company is gonna survive?” “You’d be laid off soon.” “You already had a good package, now you are doing better. Next is what?”

It’s really funny how people don’t want to venture out and try something new but are always envious of those who do. Especially of the ones, who have been written off as useless. Which brings me to the point- Next is what? The popular tagline from Samsung is now my life’s mantra. Thanks to the guy who ventured to ask my friend what her future plans were.

If we start deciding and writing our future, wouldn’t we be destiny ourselves? But that is how most of us feel, that we can write our own destiny. But how many times have we actually been able to predict where we would end up? I for one had never ever imagined that someday I would be working for one of the biggest IT companies in the world. I never had it in me to pass the multiple and increasingly silly aptitude tests. How is answering a question about how a balloon will fill up a room ever help me design a visually impressive report? But here I am, building reports without having to ever understand about a balloon or a stupid room.

Next is unknown. Next is blind. Next is dark. Next can only be revealed when we decide to walk that path. If we are comfortable in our cosy rooms there is never going to be a next. Not that it is something wrong. Being cosy and comfortable is definitely not wrong. What is wrong is being jealous of someone who decides to step out of the cosiness. Why bother? If I am happy with my life, why bother about someone else’s? If I am comfortable in my room, why bother about how more comfortably someone else’s room would be? But that is what we do…don’t we? Compete, compare and complete.

Many of my colleagues feel, competition completes them. They are able to perform only by competing and comparing. All I can tell them, is, my friends, open your eyes. Compete with yourselves. Instead of asking a traveller, what he expects to see next, step out there and explore. Competing from the confines of comfort, will never ever express what “Next” holds for you. If someone was to ever ask me, next is what? I’d only tell them, that only Next can foretell. Because, the day we can answer this question, we will be able to be comparable to God and destiny. Better let Next be blind and unexpected.

Street Hog:

2012-06-10T10:51:00.001+05:30

On a Moonlit night, riding over the darkness, feeling the breeze, breeze past you. The feeling is second only to that of being in Heaven. The Hog rules the streets, the night and even the moon.

There's magic everywhere:

2012-06-09T17:55:00.002+05:30

There came a time in my life when I was totally done with the job that I was doing. I was done as in DONE. There was nothing more to learn, there was nothing more to teach. Life was becoming more of a morass of monocrity and there was nothing left. But there was one decision I had stood with. I wanted to be with technology and not move on management. And there was a personal reason to it. I was a reporting specialist and I loved the representation of data. It was weird.

It was wonderful how data could be visualized and displayed in so many different forms. And every bit of data, is like a child waiting to get dressed, waiting to play. I have always missed art in my life and here I was with every opportunity to paint, create and build. But here the canvas was data. Some of the representations of data has been nothing less than breathtaking. And I....I have been enjoying all the painting. I have been honing my skills with the latest version of Business Objects (4.0). I have been trying my hand with Xcelsius and Qlikview. It has been an interesting ride so far.

The point I want to make here is, there are always ways around us to find our calling, but we are so adamant on what we want to do that we completely forget what is being offered to us. And we continue to complain. We never seem to be happy with what we have and always struggle for what we want. Life has so much to offer but we continue our search for what we want. It's interesting as it is funny, how people just seem to accept what they find instead of finding what they accept.

Bill Gates stumbled upon Microsoft, Narayan Murthy and his team never imagined Infosys would someday be a behemoth and Facebook has already made a certain Mark quite famous. Books have been written and read. Lectures have been delivered and digested but human tendency is to search continuously. We searched for food, we searched for a better life and now we search for happiness. We always find a reason to be unhappy about a part of our lives and manage to complain. But let me ask you this......

It's just one life. Is it worth all the complaints and the animosity towards what has been granted to us? I feel, it is much better to live and enjoy what we have than to worry and crib about what we do not have. This world is magical, this life is magical. What we really need to do is find the magic. There magic everywhere. Step up and find it.

Mahadev:

2012-06-06T23:37:00.001+05:30

When we think of Shiva, the Lord, what really comes to our mind is the entity embraced by the Damroo, the third eye, the Ganges and the Moon. This is an attempt by me to recreate the aura of the Lord, without actually painting him.

Need, Indeed:

2012-06-06T23:22:00.002+05:30

Need, Deed,
Feed, Breed,
Lead, Plead,
Knead, Bleed,
Steed, Stampede,
Speed, Heed,
Impede, Succeed,
Accede, Secede,
Reed, Weed,
Creed, Exceed,
Greed, Indeed!!!!!

Nobody’s fault:

2012-06-05T22:54:00.004+05:30

I recently got into a rickshaw at Vidyavihar-w and immediately noticed that the meter was not working. When I did point it out to the driver, he looked back and mumbled something. I told him to let me get down if he was not sure why the meter was not working and he assured me that it was all good. When I did reach my destination, he demanded Rs.15 whereas from my experience, it should not have been more than Rs.12, which is the minimum fare. And in the ensuing argument, I mentioned to him that when I did point out the issue with his meter, all he did was mumble. To which, the gentleman had a very interesting retort, “Neither is it my fault, nor is it yours”, he said. “The entire fault is that of the meter.” I was too shocked to say anything but was adamant I would not pay the extra Rs.3. Finally after showering me with the choicest vituperations, he left.

Though the incident should have left me angry and flustered, I found myself laughing. Many a times, just to prove ourselves right, we come up with silly reasons and excuses. The human tendency to save one’s skin is so powerful, the self-preservation instinct so strong that we forget the implications of some of our extremely negligible actions. What seemed like a minor altercation between the rickshaw driver and me left him poorer by Rs.3 and left me with a hurt ego. Had he been kind enough to accept his mistake I would not have taken the issue personally. But then, his instinct to preserve himself led to the misadventure.

And so is the case with our everyday lives. We simply refuse to accept our weaknesses and our faults. Some term it ego, but I term it our natural instinct. I had initially posted about accepting our life as our own. And if we learn to accept our life, it shouldn’t be difficult to accept everything that comes with it. Our goods and our bads. But is something which is our own, so difficult to accept? And if it is, then why is it?

Digging deeper into the human psyche, we realize that the answer to the above question, is fear. It is the fear of being reprimanded that makes us run away from our own deficiencies and our drawbacks. We are afraid that the world would not be very encouraging about defects within. And that is correct to a large extent. But then, ruining away and not facing our fears is not the answer to our problems. After the initial sinking feeling, it would be much easy later. Once we find the courage to face our fears and our drawbacks, it will be a much better world to live in.

Finally to wind up and round it all up, all I can point out is to stand up for yourselves and not the world. A point comes wherein it is easier to stand and face our fears and stop running away from ourselves. Acceptance comes with embracing all the good and the bad within. It’s time to accept, our fault, when it is our fault.