Doing, kind of Re-Search.

2009-10-03T15:31:00.004+05:30

Research.

Well, it sounds great to one who is not onto this field.

And here is one guy, who is onto it.

What made him chose this... well Destiny, i would say, even though i dont really believe in it, but thats the perfect word to set aside that question.

Now, the next question i faced,

"What you research people actually do?"

What am i doing here?

Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Oh yes. I do. chatting, orkutting, downloading...

Lets have a look at an abridged version of conversation between an MNC guy (M) and this, so called researcher(R).

R: hi

how r u?

M: I am good....

Well......so whts happenin wid U?

R: doing my MTech ..

2nd year..

in bangalore

M: Hey.....u were in calcutta?

R:yep

this MTech is like.. one year in kolkata,

next year in bangalore

M: Oh thats good for u..

R: u told 1 day, that u will start somthing of ur own

M: If u wud remember i wud also have told that i wanted to date Ms.XYZ one day????

R: u still hav that thought in ur mind..???

dirty fellow...!!!

M: Who do u think XYZ is and why wud that make me a dirty fellow?

......and some blah blah....

M: So.......how many r there in ur class?

R: six.

M: And u call tht a class?

R: no other option...

had to call

considering d no: of students in other streams

its a class

M: Why ......others hav 1 ot two????

Then why dont u call it a tution/?

R: PhD fellows : 3,

int. MSc-PhD - 3,

we hav double their strenght

Int MTech-PhD : 6

M: So where do u hav ur "classes"??? Under a tree??

R: lol

no..

inside faculty's chamber

M: Wow.....that sounds like someting

R: something...????

M: Why is it nothing??

R: thers gr8 difference between a research institute and a college

thats y its like that

M: And what wud u be researching?

R: theres 1-1 correspondence in research institute

M: And why wud u RE search..Why not loose it at the first place...

R: ha ha..

thats a good queston..

frankly i too dnt know, y we r here

M: Then why dont u REsearch that first??

R: we tried..

n v r stuck in a LOOP

re re re re search

whirl pool...

cant come out of that now

M: SO how is this REsearch stuff done....U Google it???

R: mostly ... yes.

and some publications, refernces, come to some new conclusions

and again google it..

M: Like i was looking for some porn of Meg ryan a while back...that was probly already searched by some one..... so when i do it again....wud that qualify as research...

R: No. but wen u act in it ...

along wit Meg Ryan..

its ur own thing..

now u can call that "a reaserch which got light"

M: So u think i should publish a paper on how Meg ryan got laid???

R: Laid.. in a new sense... that nobody has seen or nobody knew would exist..

that u can publish

M: U mean if i dont act along with Meg Rayn and do it wth Monica instead, wud it not be my "Own Thing"

R: hopefully yes..

it just changed the platform you r working.. thats all

M: idiot.......How dare u change my pltform without asking me.....cudnt u see i was workin?

So why do it in a grp (That too with a female in it) when u can do it alone??

R: well..

thats also possible..

but somebody should authenticate that its your own thing, and its the result of ur own work..

then everything is fine..

platform,

single

guy

girl

animal

alien...

whatever

M: Why of course.........it is my own THING...who the F r u to question it??? or lecture on it for that matter

R: no no

i was just tellin the procedure to b followed..

at the end u hav 2 mention the instruments u used,

the reference u hav taken,

the output you got...

and also

u should giv

acknowledgements

M: a) I dont need to be told the Procedure... i am pro in it

b)The instruments we use is our business and u dont hav to know abut it

c) What site we visit and what vid we watch for inspiration is our secret and iam not letting u in on that

d) and Jab i am ready and she is ready why the fuck shud we acknowledge u??

R: yes...

u r absolutly right..

thes are the constraints and difficulties faced by a research student...

and u hav to face it..

thers no other way..

thats y every researcher will b asking...

"y the hell did i join here..??"

hope u will learn frm my mistake, and dont come to this field.

M: Why got to a field...why not go to a park?

R: park is alredy built..

field is blank...

anything can b built over there

M: Npe.....there is grass in there....and dont u remember u had shit in there when it was urgent???

R: correct.

frm such areas only a PARK came into existence..

and its our duty, (a duty, mistakenly taken by us only..!!!) to clear those shits and build a new one.

M: SO will u pls help me clean up the field by getting the hell out of there....

u see i am trying to get all the shit out of there...

R: if you take help from somebody, you will hav to get his name also into the papper

u r supposed to give.

M: Poor u.....

R: and one more thing..

if u start cleaning the field frm one end, by the time u complete the whole field...

u will find the starting area again dirty,,..

and that too might hav dirtied by ur own guide.

M: God r u frustrated......get a shrink......

R: its nothing

dnt draag even ur enemies also in this area

M: K.................

R: hope u understood something about this research

Vineeth V Vadakedath

Doing, kind of Re-Search.