Virginia's Life, Such As It Is!

Christmas in Malawi, Christmas in America

2011-12-02T13:12:00.001-05:00

Christmas in Malawi, Christmas in America

An Advent Poem for Reverend Headson Makazinga

December 2011

Reverend Makazinga,

Dear brother, precious friend,

You are in Malawi, a village pastor, a church planter

Baptizing the brothers and sisters

Ordaining new gospel workers

Caring for the widows and orphans

Year in and year out, month by month, serving in His name.

And it is almost Christmas

When you will gather again to celebrate

As you write to me:

“We are going to have thanksgiving to God

For the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ

And also to worship and praise him

As He is the one who made it possible

For us to reach to the end of the year.”

You live in a house in Nsanje without electricity

You walk or ride a bike to the other villages

Though you are getting older and weaker

And have been in the hospital just this year.

Yet you are also able to take a bus to Blantyre

To use the Internet to send me an e-mail

To buy Bibles and hymnals or pick up my care package

(I will send you some money for your ministries

And fruit tea and some Christian books soon.)

In your note, you say you want poems, my poems,

For blessing and encouragement.

This is your poem from me, though it doesn’t rhyme.

You write, “Wish you all the best of Christmas day!”

And I wish you the same.

You are in Malawi, where the land is

Drought dry, dirt poor, primitive

With shepherds and farmers eking an existence

Much like the Holy Land in the time of Jesus

I am in America, where it is not like that at all

(At least in my neighbhorhood)

I am in America, where I have a van

And electricity for my own computer

And my Christmas tree lights

And clean water and abundant food

The simple gifts I send will not erase all your peoples’ poverty

But I still say “Wish you all the best of Christmas day!”

Because Christmas is not in the stores but in the stories

The stories of Yesu Khristu (whom I know as Jesus Christ)

He said: “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

Because he has anointed me

To preach good news to the poor.”

And at his birth the angels sang:

“Peace on earth, good will to men!”

"So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.” When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told." Luke 2:4-20

Every Body Matters by Gary Thomas (A Review by Virginia Knowles)

2011-11-28T11:53:00.001-05:00

Every Body Matters by Gary Thomas

(A Review by Virginia Knowles)

I’m in the YMCA, about to climb on the elliptical machine for a little self-induced ~~torture~~ (um, I mean healthy exercise). But at the moment, I’m sitting in the lobby with my laptop, a copy of Gary Thomas’s new book Every Body Matters: Strengthening Your Body to Strengthen Your Soul, and my journal where I’ve been taking notes on it over the past few weeks.

Do you know why this is a special joy to me? Because I had the privilege of critiquing the early drafts of Every Body Matters last year and offering my suggestions – the main one being “add more personal stories!” He did! And one of them is about someone I know, Dr. Scott VanLue, a wellness physician and friend of our family. And yes, my name is on the acknowledgement page in the back of the book. So you should buy it. Just to see my name of course. No really, it’s an awesome book even without my name in it! (I can’t help giggling typing this. Am I a classic narcissist or what?)

Anyway, I’m a long-time Gary Thomas fan, having read probably 10 of his books and reviewing a few of them. At first this one seemed out of his genre. I mean, a book about fitness from someone who usually writes about classic spirituality for evangelicals? Actually, the funny thing is, he incorporates classic spirituality into his book about physical fitness with quotes by Fenelon, Climacus, and other centuries old dudes. Simply medieval, I tell you! This philosophical edge is especially apparent in chapters like “Our Ongoing Battle Against Sin.” Gary is actually quite qualified to write about fitness too. After all, he’s run more marathons than I can count, including the prestigious Boston marathon. He takes the body seriously.

So what’s the book all about? It’s about how our bodies affect our souls and vice versa. After all, the more physically fit we are, the more energy we have to devote to God’s kingdom. And if we neglect taking care of our bodies through overeating or laziness, this reflects on our spiritual character as well. It is a virtue to practice self-discipline. It’s good for body and soul. (Sorta reminds me of the YMCA’s trifecta: Spirit, Mind, and Body. I do love the YMCA!)

As Gary says to Christians, “For most of our lives, we have emphasized growing our souls, not always realizing that a lack of physical discipline can undercut and even erode spiritual growth.” We don’t want to be heads without bodies, but whole people.

Indeed, aerobics expert Dr. Kenneth Cooper writes, “A healthy, fit body is the most appropriate home for a vibrant spirit.”

And the Apostle Paul prays, “May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Thessalonians 5:23b) and counsels his readers to purify themselves from anything that might contaminate body and spirit (2 Corinthians 7:1) and to honor God with their bodies (1 Corinthians 6:20). Are these passages just about not doing anything immoral? No, the positive connotation is that we take careful stewardship of the marvelous gift that God has given – the masterpiece creation that we call the human body. To trash our bodies is a sin.

Gary speaks of having “silver souls” that have been refined through difficulty. “Desiring a silver soul means we stop treating our bodies as ornaments – with all the misguided motivations often displayed by those who build their bodies out of pride and ambition – and start treating our bodies as instruments, vessels set apart to serve the God who fashioned them.”

Again, “Protecting your health is the same thing as protecting the vehicle through which God wants to change the world. Is there a greater loss in this world than millions of Spirit-renewed believers digging premature graves with knife, fork and spoon?” He also poses the question: “Is food shaping me into a man who lives solely for his own gratification, rather than nourishing me to look after the needs of others?” For many people, food becomes a kind of self-medicating substitute for God when they are experiencing negative emotions. Eating makes us feel good, but it’s no substitute for the soul food that God wants to give us. Besides that, just chemically speaking, you can get the same emotional boost from the hormones released during exercise than you can get from eating – and it’s a whole lot healthier!

So, what to do? I’ll have to write about that a little later. It’s time for me to get on that elliptical machine before my kids get out of their home school P.E. class!

Ok, I’m back again two weeks later, in the YMCA lobby again, this time after my workout. Picking up the book up again, I’m delighted to read a quote from second-century bishop Irenaeus, “The glory of God is man fully alive.” I love to hear Sara Groves sing that in her song “Just Woke Up to My Own Life.” It’s more relevant than a stiff dose of caffeine in the morning. Alive, energetic, alert, vigorous, robust, vibrant. That’s what we all want to be – not sluggish or foggy-brained. Isn’t that the goal is exercise and nutrition – to take such good care of our bodies that they will serve us as we serve God and others? Glory! Gary writes about the “Muscular Christianity” movement of the 19^th century: “The thinking was that to live an influential, fruit-filled Christian life required a toughness, a hardy spirit, a confronting and facing of challenges, a learning to deal with failure without giving in to it, and a rising up to keep moving forward – each of these is a lesson that can be learned through sports… Soft people who frequently complain about the smallest annoyances, who give in to laziness and excess, who expect others to work so that they can rest, who collapse into passive entertainment instead of active exercise – these are souls custom-made to become all but irrelevant in kingdom warfare. They are not threat to anyone -- least of all to Satan.”

So what can we do? Glad you asked! In his chapter Purely Practical, Gary recounts Dr. Cooper’s advice: to “engage in regular, moderate endurance exercise”, “pursue a strength and flexibility training program throughout your life” and “emphasize low-fat, high-fiber foods in your diet.” Gary adds in eating less and making sure you get your sleep. All of this is especially important in the middle-age and older years as our metabolism changes and women go through menopause. In a previous chapter, he recommends that churches consider offering healthy exercise programs (team sports, group bike rides, a Pilates class, etc.) as a means of outreach and fellowship – and not just an endless round of potluck dinners. If this isn’t something your church can do, consider signing up for community-based exercise programs, such as those offered by the YMCA. The social aspect of meeting up with friends (even brand new ones) fuels a sense of well-being and motivates us to keep going. Agreeing to meet a friend a few mornings a week for 30-60 minutes of brisk walk-and-talk really helped me last year. I need to start that up again! If we want to break the habit of sluggish, sloppy living, a whole new routine is necessary – eating, sleeping, exercising. It is so convicting to type these words.

It can be really hard to make big transitions in health, but it is worth it in the long run. My father was diagnosed with diabetes about 30 years ago, when he was in his mid-forties. I am so impressed with how seriously he took life-change. Accustomed to sitting down in his computer specialist job all the time, he turned into a running machine and was rewarded with a lean and healthy body. Now in his mid-seventies, he still runs daily. Three years ago, while jogging, he was hit by a motorcycle and suffered a traumatic brain injury. Doctors attribute his quick recovery (back in the office in six weeks) in part to his incredible physical fitness.

So what happens when “nothing happens” – when you don’t lose the weight you thought you would? Don’t give up! Fitness matters more than body shape. Exercise is still good for your body and your soul. And if you can’t plunge into a full-fledged fitness program, at least do something. Get started. Move in the right direction and keep going! Make it something you enjoy, such riding a bike or working out at the gym. Listen to some music on your iPod or watch a movie while you’re on the treadmill.

It’s been fun writing this review at the YMCA over a period of weeks, but now it’s time to exercise my fingers and press the post button on my blog. But before I do, one last verse from Every Body Matters.

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:7-8).

The book is now available on-line and in bookstores! Go get yourself a copy because Every Body Matters – including yours!

You can get it at Christian Book Distributors, or www.GaryThomas.com or the publisher, Zondervan.

Some of Gary's other books include...

Pure Pleasure: Why Do Christians Feel So Bad About Feeling Good?

Holy Available: What If Holiness Is About More Than What We Don't Do? (which inspired my poem Corpus Christi)

Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands

Sacred Marriage

Seeking the Face of God

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Remembering Christmas -- And Other Books by Dan Walsh

2011-11-27T20:01:00.000-05:00

Dear friends,

Over the past few years, I’ve reviewed two books by Christian novelist Dan Walsh, and this year I received two more.

Just in time for the holidays comes Remembering Christmas. Rick, a young CPA on the fast track for corporate success, is summoned to coastal Florida to take over running a tiny Christian bookstore after his step-father collapses from a stroke. For someone who is embittered against both faith and family, and who just wants to get back to his own career, this is quite a feat. Add in a schizophrenic homeless man, his imaginary friend, a pretty sales clerk and her young daughter, and you’ve got quite a quirky yet inspiring tale. I particularly enjoyed this book, and the 1980’s pop culture references are especially fun to recall. Wrap it up for someone who needs to touch of grace this Christmas!

Inspired by real life events, The Deepest Waters chronicles the tale of a young couple on a honeymoon voyage in 1857. Their ship sinks, and Laura is rescued by a passing ship. Now she must carry on the journey alone, relying on God and the help of strangers, to meet her new husband’s family and bear the tragic news. This book definitely kept me turning the pages!

The Unfinished Gift is a heartwarming tale of a young boy named Patrick during World War II. His mother has died in a car accident while his father is off at war, so Patrick is sent to live with a grandfather he never knew -- a grandfather who doesn't know how to nurture or celebrate. Fortunately, he finds a guardian angel in his social worker, Miss Townsend.

The Homecoming is its soul satisfying sequel as Patrick and his father Shawn attempt to rebuild their lives.

Walsh’s books are published by Revell, a division of Baker Book House, and I understand that he is collaborating on a new fiction series with Gary Smalley. Check them out at www.danwalshbooks.com.

Virginia Knowles

www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

The End, The Beginning, and the In Between

2011-11-22T08:50:00.001-05:00

Dear friends,

"The end of the matter is better than the beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools... Consider what God has done. Who can straighten what he has made crooked? When times are bad, consider: God has made one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future." Ecclesiastes 7:8, 13-14

I jotted this passage in my journal on August 31, along with a personal reflection:

"It is easy to be proud when you are plotting out your plans for accomplishing great things - but it is going to take a lot of patience to work through the inevitable setbacks and frustrations to get there. And the fruit of your labor is better than the mere dream of it. Things may not go as you plan, though. It could be that the Lord's ultimate goal is different than your dream. He wants character in you that is humble (recognizing his control, not ours) and enduring (able to withstand the tests) and kind to the people you meet along the way. And the future will unfold, the story will be told, even if it seems "crooked" and meandering."

Looking back a few meandering months later, I am glad for the encouragement of my own words. I need them right now in the middle of my life, in my crooked times. Isn't that one of the beauties of keeping a journal? I can write courage and wisdom into my own future. The story does unfold, but it isn't always clear or pleasant as it happens. We don't always know what will happen next, but whatever it is, we will need strength and grace. The same day I wrote that journal entry, I started reading Luci Shaw's book Breath for the Bones: Art, Imagination, and Spirit: Reflections on Creativity and Faith, which I have also mentioned in my posts Ivory and Gray and Is My Head in the Clouds? This quote made it into my journal a few pages later:

"We try, in the moment, to make sense out of what may often seem horrifying, incongruous, paradoxical, irrelevant, and absurd, while retaining a kind of eschatological hope that God's order, peace, design, and glory will fill all the spaces in our widely scattered personal and cosmic jigsaw puzzles."

I am glad for the encouragement of her words, too. Jigsaw puzzle indeed.

Thanksgiving is in two days. In light of that, I will say that I am grateful that God is in control, whatever happens, and that I know I am growing and enduring in ways I had not imagined before. I am also very mindful of the kindness of family and friends.

Joy and peace to you,
Virginia Knowles
www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

P.S. You may also wish to read my poems "Between the Seed and the Tree", "This Is My Song and I Sing", and "Grace Will Lead Me Home", which all reflect some of the same themes I have written here today.

Ivory and Gray (A Wedding Poem)

2011-11-06T07:38:00.001-05:00

Ivory and Gray

For the wedding of Alex and Julia on October 15, 2011

On this beginning day of your marriage,

You appear in ivory and gray, not black and white.

So too in the nuances of life you will learn to blend in a little like this,

Making the differences between his way and her way a little less stark.

The way you grew alone now changes into the way you will grow together.

Yet you are still designed to be distinct from one another.

So go forth boldly with grace and joy,

Cherishing who you are each created to be in Christ:

Two gifts of uniqueness joined.

Jesus makes you one for one another, for his own glory,

Reflecting his radiant love in your new home, your new family,

Starting on your wedding day of ivory and gray.

That's the poem, now how about a story to go with it?

I had been wanting to write a wedding poem for my daughter Julia and her husband Alex for quite a while to give to them as a wedding present. I written "Seven Blessings for One Marriage" for Mary and Ryan in 2008, and knew that just as their poem captured the Jewish flavor of their wedding, I needed to think of something that was unique to Julia and Alex's special day. This takes a lot of thought, because I just don't like to dash off a ditty. The wedding was rapidly approaching and I still hadn't come up with any good ideas. Finally, just six days before the wedding, I sat down in a Subway sandwich shop while my boys were at youth group. I carried with me pen, paper, my leather bound journal and the book Breath for the Bones: Art, Imagination, and Spirit: Reflections on Creativity and Faith by Luci Shaw as my inspiration. (You can read more about that book in another blog post here: Is My Head in the Clouds? I had been soaking in the book, jotting down my reflections, when I lady walked in and sat down near me in one of the easy chairs, leaned her head back, and closed her eyes. A little later, we started talking. She was waiting for her daughter, who works there, so our conversation turned to our children. She asked if I was a Christian, and when I told her yes, she said, "I was praying for you while I was sitting there with my eyes closed." Wow! That was sweet -- and timely! I asked her to pray that I could get the poem written for my daughter. She said she would, and then they left. And as I sat there and started thinking about the poem, pen in hand, I imagined seeing Julia and Alex at the altar. What did they look like? Ivory and gray. What did I envision for their marriage? Peace and understanding. And so I wrote: first, second, third drafts. What you see above is probably sixth draft or something, after I removed extraneous lines about the contrasts of burlap and lace, lemonade and sweet tea, that would have clued you in to their country wedding reception. When I finished the poem, I printed it in gray ink on ivory paper in the pristina font you see above. Then I matted it with ivory lace in a gray-silver frame. I read it to them at their rehearsal dinner and gave it to them then.

So there you have it, the story behind my "Ivory and Gray" poem. The wedding was beautiful, just as I had pictured in my mind. You can see more photos here:

Note: I usually write free verse poems, but I did do a rhyming one, Diamonds in Our Family Tree, for my grandparents' 75th anniversary two years ago. The flower arbor I mentioned in their poem reminds some of us of the arbor that Julia and Alex were married under, as in the wedding picture above.

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

A Country Style Wedding Reception

2011-10-21T09:17:00.001-04:00

Howdy friends!

How about some reception pics from Julia and Alex's wedding day?

I still don't have time to write much, but I at least wanted to upload some of the beauty...

The Cake

The happy couple, Mr. and Mrs. Alex Corbett

First Dance

Father and Daughter
(That's me in the black dress with the video camera)

The guest register -- reflecting their love for the mountains of North Carolina

Cheerwine (cherry soda) imported from North Carolina

The Lemonade Bar

Made with real raspberries!

Kettle Corn from the Farmer's Market where Alex and Julia love to hang out

Meat from Four Rivers barbecue, sides by two of the ladies of Metro Life (coleslaw not shown)

The pie buffet

Reception on the patio in front of the church
- this was the first time anyone had one out there,
but I'm guessing it's not the last!
They also turned the drive lane into a dance floor for country music,
but I don't have a picture of that right now.

Old family friends from NHE home school group

Lanterns and leaves

Beautiful sunset to cap it off!

Send them off with a sparkle!
The perfect ending to a country style wedding reception!

A big thank you to my friend Donna Gotschall for many of these pictures, as well as to Bethany Walti for the last one!

To see a few pictures from the wedding, click here:

Just a Few Wedding Pictures!

If you would like to see pictures from the Jewish-style wedding reception of our first daughter, Mary, you can click here: And the Reception, Too.

What a beautiful day!

Virginia Knowles
www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Just a Few Wedding Pictures!

2011-10-16T08:09:00.001-04:00

Julia puts the ring on Alex as Pastor Danny Jones looks on

Dear friends,

My daughter Julia and the love-of-her-life Alex got married yesterday and the wedding was so lovely. Sigh! I wish I had time to write more about it, but that will have to wait a bit. I do want to share a few pictures I took yesterday, while I anticipate getting a lot more pictures from my mom and others.

The happy couple is presented at the reception.

All ten of my children were in the wedding: the bride (of course!), matron of honor, bridesmaids, junior bridesmaid, groomsman, junior groomsman, ring bearer and flower girl. There were actually 25 people in the bridal party, not including the bride and groom!

Here is our new family picture, which also includes both of my sons-in-law and my grandson. Oh, and another grandson "on the way" since my oldest daughter is expecting in February! Thank you, Tonya, for this lovely photo!

We are so happy for Alex and Julia. This has been a long time coming! I think they met about nine years ago at church and have been good friends for about seven years. Julia mentioned in her vows that she had started writing a list of things she liked about Alex five years ago when she was 17 and he was 19. I understand that about the same time, he was carving her initials on a tree near Boone, North Carolina. They'll get to see it on their honeymoon this week. :-)

I'll write more later.

Blessings,
Virginia

Honey Cakes and More (A Photo Post)

2011-09-30T09:56:00.000-04:00

Dear friends,

As if my Monday morning wasn't already busy enough getting five kids out the door for our one day of classes outside the home, I decided to add something more at the last minute. Honey cakes. And more.

I was innocently printing out my lesson plans for our home school co-op's middle school English class that I would be teaching that afternoon. We were starting a literature unit on a novel called The Bronze Bow by Elizabeth George Speare. I had already written a study guide since I've taught this book twice before, and had included a recipe for honey cakes that I had found in someone else's study guide. Why? Because honey cakes are mentioned in the book, which is set in Roman occupied Israel at the time of Jesus. If Daniel and his friends ate them, I figured my students might like to try them too. I had also added some questions to my study guide about recipe reading. A little practical life skills along the way won't hurt, will it? I like making a connection to literature in every way possible, and sometimes the way to a student's brain is through his stomach.

Well, I got to thinking, rather than just include the recipe, why not make some real honey cakes and bring them to class? On the spur of the moment, I started grabbing out the ingredients from the cupboard and the refrigerator. I was trying to make enough for my class and my own kids for lunch, but honey is expensive so I cut back on the amount I used in the recipe.

After the honey cakes were in the oven, I took another step toward the brink of craziness. I started thinking about the 1st-3rd grade science class that I assist in at the co-op. They have been learning about plants we use as foods. Wouldn't they like a sensory experience to go along with their lessons too? I already had most of the ingredients out, the oven was already on, so why not? (I'll tell you why not -- we were already running late! But I'm as stubborn as can be! So, I whipped up a batch of pumpkin apple bran muffins.)

I was literally pulling all the hot yummies from the oven as my kids were already in the van with their backpacks. I scrambled to find a laundry basket and a thick towel to carry them, pans and all. As it turns out, I unexpectedly had to come back home again before my classes, so then I took the time to slice up the round honey cake into wedges and arrange them neatly in a basket with a pretty cloth. Since I was teaching about Bible times, I didn't exactly want to show up with a plastic container. I was trying to be authentic and aesthetic at the same time.

In fact, I even brought a shawl to cover my head so I would look like a peasant girl. Except that Bible time peasant girls didn't wear glasses. Oh, and I wore leather sandals instead of my normal rubber crocs. But leather sandals hurt my feet terribly, so after showing them off to my students, I kicked them off and taught barefoot. Yes, this is not public school, so I could get away with it. My students were highly amused. Anything to make the lesson more memorable! (The week before that, one of my students brought his guitar in and sang a song he had composed when I had assigned the kids to write a psalm of their own during our Psalms literature study. So cool!)

What? You think I look a bit antiquated in that shawl? Well, here is another more glamorous picture taken the same day. My friend Donna had offered to let me borrow her evening gown for my daughter's wedding (only two weeks away now!) so she brought it over to the church building where co-op meets for me to try it on. (A half dozen pumpkin muffins made a handy thank you gift, too.) Nice dress! Unfortunately, it has a train in the back, and it was too hard for me to walk in while wearing heels. My daughter was worried about clumsy me tripping on it and falling down the steps on the way to lighting the unity candle. Instead, I'm going to wear my cute new "little black dress" -- using the word "little" euphemistically here, since I am a rather matronly mother of 10.

Aren't I getting random? OK, a few more random-ish pictures from co-op.

My cutie little grandson joined us for co-op that afternoon. My son-in-law dropped him off, gladly accepting two hunks of honey cake. He said he always remembered his lessons better when there was food involved. The sweetie toddler boy managed to wolf down some of Grandma's honey cake, too. (I confess, this is a picture from a different day that he visited us at co-op. But it does look like honey cake, doesn't it? Some of the classes had a visit from firemen and a firetruck, so his 10 year old aunt gave him her fire hat.)

About those sweet little 1st-3rd grade science students... The creative teacher, Sheryl, asked each student to bring in some dried foods made from plants so they could make collages with them. (We forgot our dried foods, but at least we brought pumpkin apple muffins and peach juice, so I guess we redeemed ourselves!) The students all shared their rice, noodles, and dried beans so they could have some variety. This is my 3rd grade son and 1st grade daughter. Yeah, she's using lettuce on hers. We had to remove it later so it wouldn't rot, but it was a fun art medium while it lasted!

Oh, it's a full life! Who ever said raising kids was boring -- whether it is a home schooled first grader or a bride-to-be or even a grand-baby!

If you want to try the honey cake recipe, it's in my free study guide for The Bronze Bow on my middle school education blog. It's a wonderful book, the 1962 Newbery medal winner. You can see it here: The Bronze Bow by Elizabeth George Speare. The main character, Daniel, is a runaway apprentice who lives in the mountains with a band of Jewish zealots determined to drive out the Roman oppressors. Along the way, he meets Jesus and wrestles with how to be courageous and forgiving at the same time. You might also wish to read my article The Bible as Literature. As I said, I love to make education a multi-sensory experience. If you would like to see fine art and listen to music related to our literature studies of Joseph, Esther, Daniel, and Psalms, visit my Providence English class blog.

It's time to help my littlest one with her science homework and my son with his math, so I'm signing off of this blog post!

How is your day going?

Virginia Knowles
www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Join us for the fun at Food on Fridays at www.AnnKroeker.com.

Mother of the Bride and Soccer Mom

2011-09-24T13:06:00.000-04:00

Dear friends,

I'm sort of in a unique and busy season of life right now, so my blog posts here might not be very frequent for a while. :-)

One of my roles right now is Mother of the Bride. My daughter Julia's wedding is three weeks from today! There is so much to do, but I thought I'd share just a few pictures from a bridal shower last week.

Julia and I

My seven daughters and I
(Yes, I'm a very blessed mama!)

Julia and I with Cindy, the mother of the groom

And six of my kids (ages 6-16) are signed up for a six week soccer season at our former church, so I'm a Soccer Mom too! I enjoy hanging out at the field chatting with the other moms and dads. Here are a few pictures from soccer.

I'm hoping that none of my kids -- who are all in the wedding -- will get a soccer injury before the big day. They are not playing soccer on that day, for obvious reasons!

Later next month, I guess I'll go back to being plain old home school mom of 10 and grandma. (My daughter Mary is expecting her second little boy!) But I'll enjoy the extra fun while it lasts!

Say a prayer for us in the meantime!

Virginia Knowles
www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Snapshots and Memories from My Birthday

2011-09-07T17:20:00.002-04:00

Dear friends,

I was born on my dad's birthday 48 years ago today,

so that makes it my birthday, too!

My husband woke me this morning and told to come outside

and see my birthday rainbow.

Beautiful!
One of my daughters was already out there
with my iPod camera, snapping away.

I talked to my dad today, and when he looked out in his yard today,

he saw two deer on their hind legs, battling with their front hoofs.

Amazing!

After our rainbow adventure, my husband fixed me

a scrumptious breakfast of eggs,
spicy Italian sausage, and cinnamon and orange rolls. Yum!

He also gave me a dozen red roses with a very sweet note.

The roses may wilt in a week or so,

but the note I will keep forever!

My littlest daughter told me when I got up that

she was loaning me her Mickey Mouse for the day.

The real Mickey Mouse at Disney World autographed

the stuffed one on the bottom of his foot.

The kids also decorated our white board for me.

Impressive.

When I checked my e-mail on my iPod,

I was delighted to see dozens of

birthday greetings on my Facebook wall.

After seeing her message,

I checked out my friend Tracy Klicka's blog

and find a lovely song.

Sara Groves is my favorite singer,

but I've never heard this one, "The Hiding Place."

Tracy has set it to pictures from Scotland,

where I spent seven weeks as a teenager.

Lovely treat for the eyes and ears!

You can find it here: My Life, This Song.

Tracy is the widow of Chris Klicka,

who was a well known attorney and speaker

in the home schooling movement,

and the song she chose is a wonderful one for comforting

those who are grieving or who are in difficult places.

I downloaded it to my iPod as a birthday present to myself!

(Big spender: 99 cents!)

You are my hiding place

You fill my broken heart with songs

Songs of deliverance

You sing of how the weak are strong

~*~*~

When I picked up my grandson this afternoon,

he had a brand new car seat waiting to go.

It was still in the box, but no problem!

After 10 kids, I have plenty of experience getting these set up.

This one just needed its shoulder straps moved up a a few slots.

It looks like he approves!

Home school PE classes started at the YMCA today.

I took the time to work out on the weight machines

since the elipticals were all occupied by the kids

and the treadmills are too hard on my feet.

It's been a really long time since I've lifted weights
-- and I feel it!

While working out, I listened to my "Cheerful Songs" playlist --

everything from James Taylor's "Shower the People You Love with Love"

to "Dueling Guitars" and "La Bamba" from the August Rush soundtrack

to "All Right Here" by Sara Groves to "Stained Glass" by Keith Green.

By far the most fitting tune of the day is "Tick Tock" by Chris Rice:

They say life is but a vapor

Just a blip on a radar screen

Not the dates on your tombstone

But the dash in between

and

Tick-tock, the past is locked

The future’s far away
You can’t go back, you can’t hurry it up

You gotta learn to live today
Tick-tock, it’s now o’clock

The little hand is ours
The second hand sweeps us around

And the Big Hand has the power

and

Celebrate a season
Now another year’s gone
Well there goes a decade, a century, millenium
And here comes eternity, eternity, eternity
Here comes eternity, eternity
What’s up with eternity?

Indeed. Good words to think about on a birthday or any day! "Not the dates on your tombstone, but the dash in between." And my life is a dash, always. We even forget to eat lunch before we left for the YMCA, so I picked up a a bag of 59 cent hamburgers from McDonalds for my kids (special price on Monday and Wednesday at certain stores).

My son-in-law sent along a dish of mandarin oranges for my grandson whose dash will probably be a lot longer since they eat so healthy!

We had a delightful evening with most of the kids, as well as my 22 year old daughter's fiance. (The wedding is in less than six weeks, so they were going to get her ring sized and ordered after my party!) The girls all brought food -- rotisserie chicken, potato salad, rolls and green salad.

My neighbor had given us a beautiful chocolate cake earlier in the week that we decided to save for my birthday. We put on some colorful corkscrew candles but couldn't find any matches, so I pretended to blow out the candles. We served the cake with chocolate ice cream, of course.

One of my daughters gave me almost a pound of premium Belgian dark chocolate with almonds. Are you picking up on the chocolate theme here? Also a new journal, a Psalms reflection journal, pumpkin spice soap, a Brightlight Bookstore gift card, a basket, a tote bag, socks, headbands, a sleeve for my laptop, sweet notes -- am I forgetting anything? Very thoughtful gifts from very thoughtful children!

As you can see, I had a lovely birthday and I'm so thankful to God for my family and friends who made it that way!

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Join the fun at Food on Fridays at www.AnnKroeker.com

Is My Head in the Clouds? (And Notes on Beauty)

2011-09-02T10:26:00.000-04:00

Is my head in the clouds? Well, I don’t know, but my camera sure has been pointing at them a lot lately. There is something about clouds – and the rest of the sky -- that absolutely fascinates me. I always look up when I am outside, and my children know that if there is an unusual sunset going down to come and get me immediately. (You will see this later, I promise.)

This morning, I could hear my daughter Lydia rustling around the kitchen getting ready for school. Early this morning. As in, before six, which I do not consider to be a daytime hour. In my foggy wee hours brain, I remembered that she had baked a large loaf of braided artisan bread for a speech on creativity in her Acting class. I figured she might have quite a juggle getting it to school along with her weighty backpack, full of paper knowledge. So I got up, crept quietly while the house slept. Yes, she would like a ride to school, thank you very much! We left at twenty 'til seven. Still the wee hours for me.

I noticed the wakening sky as we drove to the east.

There is a payoff to rising at dawn, before the sun, is there not?

On the way home, I stopped several times to take pictures with my iPod camera. First, in the high school parking lot, not truly stopping, but holding my camera out the window at a slow crawl...

You do not see the pink edge at the top of the cloud, do you?

I see better with my eye than the camera does.

It is a pity. It is there. You shall see.

I must stop again where I can actually get out of the car!
Why waste the morning glory?

Around the corner and down the street a bit,

just a hint of the rosy pink and gold peeking
from behind the tree silhouettes.

And straight up, no warm sun nuances here,

just thin white marbled clouds on blue.

Driving west, glancing up into my rear mirror,
I see a golden ball shimmering behind me.

I cannot resist. I pull over at Red Bug Lake Park.

I do not think I have ever seen the sun
wedged between the horizon and a cloud bank.

This is a matter of perspective, perception. Of course.

The sun is far away, far beyond, far up and out,
never under, never confined, even if it is out of view.

The sunrise & cloud duet's glory is obscured (or is it framed?)
by earthly protrusions: fence, electric lights, traffic.

We live in the earthly daily even while dreaming of the heavenly eternal.

I am in the car again, preparing to pull out of the park.

I look up again.

The sun has shifted: it is sliding up behind the clouds.

I stop again, get out, walk forward.

What details the camera cannot perceive,
I imprint on my own brain through observant eyes.
(A miracle, if you think about what they can do.)

How long may I stay here?

It is time to go homeward now, but there will be more.

The sky is bigger than me.

The clouds, the sun, will follow me home.

I can see them from anywhere.

Another stop, this one in my neighborhood...

New angle, new shift of light, new bank of white and gray.

What shapes do I see in these clouds, with sun rays sprouting out the top?

This from my own front yard,
framed by a roof and a twin tree thrust cloudward.

This then, is what my little front yard friends see,

who look like clouds themselves, perched atop a birdbath;

this is what they see every morning,

facing east toward the sunrise, while I am still in bed?

They expect clouds, rain clouds, with their umbrella.

The sun, too, as it could just as easily be a parasol.

Clouds and sun. Sky every day, rain or shine.

And what if they faced west?

Would they see the sunset if they could turn their stone faces around?

Naomi took these pictures. She has human eyes to see, as I do.

Oh yes, the glory of the evening as well.

Sky beauty is restorative, redemptive...

A friend who traveled west for cancer treatment notes with gratitude:

"We saw a partial rainbow on way back to Whidbey Island,

not to mention that even though it rained

during our 45 minute wait for the ferry,

the sky turned into a rainbow sherbet sunset over the bay."

"Rainbow sherbet sunset over the bay." I like that imagery.

Beauty I can see in my mind because the words travel the miles.

So is my head in the clouds?

I am more a poet than a logician.

I crave beauty even if I cannot keep my house clean.

My wise counselor asks,

"Are you taking time to read, to write? That is important for you."

He and his wife home schooled a large family.

He knows the "much" of what I live, still teaching five each day,

still caring for all ten, no matter where they are, living at home or not.

He understands how I need the deep to keep me going.

The deep to lift me up.

I am reading.

Namely, Breath for the Bones by Luci Shaw, a prose book by a poet,

subtitled Art, Imagination, and Spirit: Reflections on Creativity and Faith.

And I am writing.

Namely, reflections on my reading,

jotted down in a leather journal my daughters brought home from Italy,

where they breathed in beauty and art. (I am jealous. Someday.)

And on a keyboard, for you.

Note bene from Luci Shaw:

"To have a functioning cosmos would have seemed enough.

Beauty is an added bounty, and because the benefactor is divine,

we ignore or disdain beauty at our peril, no matter where it is found."

"The role of the artist is to call attention."

"There is another calling for the artist,

and that is one of linking earth to heaven,

pointing the human to the divine, finding the connections."

"The Benedictines hold that beauty is 'truth shining into being,'

a principle adopted by John Keats

in his famous 'beauty is truth, truth beauty.'

In this sense, beauty is redemptive.

It can motivate us to turn a corner, to pursue a new objective.

It awakens us because it is often so surprising."

"We all - artists, writers, visionaries -

find ways to live and explore metaphor in our lives."

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me...

to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve...

beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."

Isaiah 61:1-3

With love and hope,

Virginia Knowles

www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Maniac Cleaning Day

2011-08-20T15:53:00.003-04:00

Dear friends,

I was cleaning our living room like a maniac this morning. Trust me when I say that it was not a good thing to get in my way. It started out rather innocently. I was just trying to tidy up our adjacent computer room. Then I started dusting and vacuuming, and the more dirt and clutter I saw, the more motivated to eliminate it I became. And the rest is history.

I've often joked with my husband (who probably would have been better off marrying a Miss Susie Homemaker since he is more of a neatnick) that since I probably have ADD, I may "forget" to clean house sometimes, but once I get started, watch out! The hyper-focus mode kicks in. Don't stop me when I'm on a roll because I can get a lot done if I keep moving!

I sorted out DVD's, CD's and CD-ROM's, then stacked up stray books to put away later. I dusted the furniture (amazing how much of it collects in the nooks and crannies!) and poked everything out from under an antique cabinet with my long wooden back scratcher. My eight year old son helped me by dusting the piano. I remember dusting the same piano when I was his age, which made me feel nostalgic. Ever the curious one, he even opened up the piano and dusted inside. Then I pulled the couches away from the walls so I could vacuum behind them, and found an overdue library book in the process. Yay for me!

Not content to remove the surface debris, I decided to shampoo the carpets. Unfortunately, I broke the carpet cleaning machine while trying to adjust it. Now it can only suck up dirty water but not inject the clean soapy water into the carpet. Thad offered to rent a carpet cleaning machine on Monday, but I was so desperate to get it done right away that the three younger kids and I just sprinkled and even poured water with cleaning solution mixed in onto the carpet. While we spent forever getting it all sucked up again, it was worth it to see all the murky water that came back out of it and to see halfway clean floors. I'm just waiting for the carpets to air dry a little more before I put back all of the stuff I moved. The boys were trying to convince me to rearrange the furniture permanently, but I'm pretty sure our current layout is what we need. I still need to clean the stains off the couch cushions and put away (or throw away) the rest of the little junk that I threw into a bin on the end table.

Next time, I'll attack the computer room again. Yes, attack is the word. That is definitely the militant mode I was in today. No Miss Susie Homemaker here. More like Sergeant Clean-It-Up-or-Else, which is a drastic change from my usual Mystic Mommy Just-Let-It-Go-for-Now persona. At this moment in my chaotic life, mess is something I can control at least for a few hours, and that feels good right now. Besides, we just need to get rid of a lot of junk that is cluttering up our days. It would be nice to get to sit on the couch once in a while without having to shove over a pile of school papers or unmatched socks. Now if I can just convince the kids that the living room is not the place to bring food and drinks, or wear their shoes, or do their art projects, or scatter their toys, or leave their pencils wedged in between the couch cushions... Or maybe I should just hold my breath another 15 years until they all move out?

There has to be a balance somewhere. Life is too short to keep a white-glove-clean standard with nine kids still living at home. They will all be gone soon enough, and then I'll miss the mess. My second daughter is leaving our little nest to get married in just eight weeks and I'll sure miss her! At the moment, I'm helping my 12 year old son with his math homework and chatting with him about this-and-that as I type this blog post, just as I did when I was cleaning this morning. Yeah, multi-tasking and all. But blink, and he'll be gone too!

How do you all keep a clean house and still have time to enjoy life with your family? Care to enlighten me?

What are your favorite organizing web sites? Here are two to get started:

I thought about putting this post on one of my other blogs, www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com, but I realized that cleaning is not just a Mom Thing. Besides, I just posted on that blog yesterday (see Friday Favorites #12: Back to School -- Overwhelmed?) and haven't put anything new on this one in quite a while!

If you like this post, you might want to read Let Our Ordered Lives Confess the Beauty of Thy Peace...? on www.StartWellHomeSchool.blogspot.com.

Blessings,
Virginia Knowles
www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

P.S. (Three days later) I guess we didn't get as much water out of the carpet as I thought. It was pretty stinky by the next day! My husband managed to neutralize the odor somewhat by yesterday, but I think he's still going to have to rent a machine and redo the cleaning, along with the rest of the house which still needs it! Oh well! I guess I was just being too stubborn for my own good! :-)

Leu Gardens and a Busy Birthday for Melody

2011-08-02T23:28:00.007-04:00

Dear friends,

My littlest daughter Melody turned six years old today. It's hard to believe that my youngest is that old, especially since I had babies just about every other year for 18 years.

Usually, I buy several smaller gifts for them at the dollar store or on clearance, and let them pick out a larger gift. Then they also have birthday money from relatives to spend later.

We were on our way to Leu Gardens yesterday (free admission the first Monday of each month) and stopped at Walgreens for snacks. She's been wanting binoculars for a while and saw this pair for $10, which her brother Micah said were of good quality for the price. So we bought them just in time to use at Leu Gardens. Here she is, hot and sweaty, waiting for our tour of the historic Leu House.

After I took the one of her, she took this one of me.
I wish I could show you all the pictures I took at the gardens, instead of just several. Maybe later. Or I will just let Micah upload his, which he took with the good digital camera, onto his own nature blog. All of these were taken with an iPod camera.

We especially love the rose garden.

The one advantage of my iPod camera is that it is really fast. If a butterfly was anywhere in the vicinity, I could just aim in the general direction and start clicking as fast as I could, hoping to catch something. And I did! A pair flying by, and another landing in a planter.

We always visit this dude near the butterfly garden. He's not going anywhere since he's a sculpture. I love to pay attention to details, in this case, his overalls. You can get a new perspective by looking closer, or from a different angle...

Another example? Same plant, farther away and closer in.

This plant, from one side of the leaves and then the other. Brighter purple! And I didn't notice until I edited the picture later that my son was crouching down right behind the plant!

It was so hot outside we were glad to escape to the air conditioning of the historic Leu House. I love antiques -- so cozy and quaint.

Although I'm not sure I'd want a basket made out of an armadillo...

When we left the gardens, we ate our picnic lunch. I suggested eating on the grass, but again, we were so hot that the air conditioning of the van was just too tempting. I was so tired when we got home, but still had some errands to run at night, like going grocery stopping. In the same shopping plaza, I stopped at the Brightlight used bookstore to sell books we didn't need anymore, and found a Winnie the Pooh bedtime story book to buy on my store credit for Melody.

As if yesterday wasn't busy enough, today was even busier. First, a birthday breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes, waffles and sausage (all bought in the frozen aisle at Aldi last night). Then we had home school evaluations for all five of the younger kids for the rest of the morning. My friend Cheryl and her husband Mike, a certified teacher, do these at their house. Then, off to pick up an order of my Learner's Journal lesson planners at the printer, so I can get them shipped out to customers tomorrow. Then a quick birthday lunch before going to a planning meeting for the Providence Home Educators co-op which starts its seventh year in just two weeks. I stopped briefly on the way home at a fancy consignment store to look for a mother of the bride dress to wear to Julia's wedding in October, then took a quick peek (OK, more like 15 minutes) into the antique store next to that. I love to see pretty things, even if I can't afford them! :-) (Besides the fact that we were already fortunate enough to inherit enough antique furniture and linens to keep me happy for a lifetime.)

It's a good thing that Melody chose something simple -- chicken nuggets and mac & cheese for her birthday dinner, because I didn't have much time in the evening. Naomi had already made the brownies for our volcano cake. That's basically a mound of cut up brownies covered with cherry pie filling (for lava), whipped cream (for smoke, but this time the whipped cream was too runny), and chocolate chips (for debris). I invented volcano cake one year when we were learning about Mt. Vesuvius in our unit study on Ancient Rome. Anything to be educational... It is yummy.

If you want to see more about volcano cake, read my older post here: Volcano Cake Plus Home Management. At left, you can see a more volcano looking version of it from that post. Note to self: Don't nuke the whipped cream too long in the microwave!

Singing happy birthday and blowing out candles, of course. My iPod camera doesn't do light sources well, so the six little candles really do look like a volcano spewing flames!

Naomi serves it...

My grandson Jacob plays with paper plates while sitting on the dining room table. He makes us all laugh!

Jacob's got a new brother or sister coming early next year!

Will he or she look like baby Melody did six years ago?

Happy birthday, Mel'y! We love you!

You can see my blog post from Melody's 3rd birthday here:

Melody, My Bud of Joy.

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

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Ten Things I Appreciate About Metro Life Church

2011-07-22T10:50:00.001-04:00

Dear friends,

My husband and I were members of Metro Life Church for 8 years until we left last summer. When I was sharing my thoughts about Metro Life and Sovereign Grace Ministries in the past two weeks, I was remiss for not focusing more on the positive aspects of our experience. I apologize.

About two years ago, I wrote a post about what I appreciate about the pastors there. You can see it here: Appreciating the Pastors at Metro Life Church. Today, I would like to recount ten things I appreciate about the rest of Metro Life Church. If you have ever been a part of Metro Life, I invite you to share your own list in the comment section!

The first one, hands down, is the love and devotion of the people there. They love God, they are serious about their faith, and they lovingly serve other people. We are grateful for our many friends there. I have often commented to my children over the years how much I love their friends from church, too. It is like a family. It is sweet to see you at the events we still attend there, and nice to know we are always welcome.
Home groups are a big part of life of Metro. We nearly always had a place to go on Wednesday evenings for more personal fellowship and discussion. And if anyone needed a meal, or help with a household project, or someone to watch the kids for a few hours, the home groups were excellent at practical caring.
The generosity among members has been another sweet thing to watch. So many people were so kind to our large family at times, whether it was passing along extra food after events, or paying our registration to a Celebration conference or to Camp Destiny for our kids. I know that other people in the church have been blessed by this kind of generosity, too, whether it was through the church benevolence fund or just someone noticing a need and quietly filling it.
As a home school mom, I have always appreciated the support that Metro offered to families who were teaching their own kids. I particularly wish to commend Benny Phillips, a pastor at MLC who is also the principal of the church’s home school enrollment program, The Regent Academy. I am so thankful for the parent training sessions, the weekly tutoring and enrichment classes, the record keeping, the guidance counseling, the general supportive atmosphere, and so much more. I am also grateful that they allow the Providence Home Educators co-op, which is an independent program not affiliated with MLC, to take over the building every Monday during the school year for a reasonable rate. This is big for me. :-)
Folks at Metro Life have been quite active in community service and outreach projects, such as the middle school youth in the Neighbor to Neighbor program which helped the elderly with household projects and yard work, the annual Thanksgiving Turkey Fry, holiday food and gift drives for disadvantaged families, the work day to help single moms, the homeless outreaches, and so many more that I can’t think of right now. The Conversation program for introducing newcomers to the Christian faith is noteworthy, too. These people take the initiative!
On a global scale, I am thankful for Metro Life’s leadership in the Mission:X program which has taken so many of the young people to serve others away from home. My own daughters have traveled to Bolivia, the Dominican Republic, and the Florida panhandle. The trips have been life changing.
I have always loved the music at MLC, whether it is from Sovereign Grace Music or songs by Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, Hillsong, Sara Groves, or others. The talented musicians do a fantastic job every week leading the congregation in worship to God. Dancers and actors enliven holiday programs and occasionally Sunday services.
I also admire the gifted visual artists who adorn the Sunday School room walls with colorful murals, build imaginative sets for Kid’s Night Out and dramatic productions, and decorate beautifully for other events. Beauty reflects the heart of God.
I always enjoyed attending the Mom’s brunches when I could make it. Great food, great friends, great childcare, great presentation on motherhood or homemaking, and then a great small group discussion… Who could ask for more? Oh, and great book giveaways! Great job, Sheree and company!
I know some people wouldn’t think this is important, but for our family, the sports program has been a big blessing. One of my daughters made some of her closest friends while playing Wolverine basketball during her high school years. The younger kids all loved the Saturday morning soccer, and I think we’re going back for that this fall! The sports program honors the fact that our bodies are important to God, and that fun and teamwork are important components of fellowship. I like that.

There you have it! Now it’s your turn! What do you most appreciate about Metro Life church?

Grace and peace,

Virginia Knowles

www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

My Recommendations for CJ Mahaney and SGM (From the Cheap Seats!)

2011-07-16T07:25:00.003-04:00

Dear friends,

A week ago, I wrote an article with my thoughts about CJ Mahaney and the current crisis in Sovereign Grace Ministries. There have been nearly 4,000 page loads on this blog since then. This is quite unusual since prior to that, my average per day was only about 30-50.

Last night, I substantially revised, reorganized, and updated my original post. If you just stumbled on this blog and you aren’t already really familiar with the issue, or even if you read the article when I first wrote it and want to see the new information and links, you may can read it here: My Thoughts on CJ Mahaney and Sovereign Grace Ministries.

In today’s post, I would like to do offer five things:

A brief background refresher
My recommendations for CJ Mahaney
My recommendations for the SGM board of directors
My recommendations for local SGM churches
My response to concerns brought up by those who read my original post

A brief background refresher: Before I start with the recommendations, the short version of the story is that CJ Mahaney is the co-founder of Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM), formerly known as People of Destiny International (PDI). SGM is an association (or denomination) of about 70 churches, mostly in the United States but some in other countries. Over the past 30 years of its existence, serious complaints have been made about the organization about abuse of spiritual authority, mismanagement of members’ crises, and a pervading overemphasis on the sinful nature. In the past few years, these concerns have been expressed by an entire on-line community of ex-members on two protest blogs, www.sgmsurvivors.com and www.sgmrefuge.com. A former SGM insider, Brent Detwiler, also compiled hundreds of pages of careful documentation with his allegations and evidence, and circulated them among SGM pastors after trying unsuccessfully for many years to bring correction directly to Mr. Mahaney. After Mr. Mahaney announced last week that he was stepping down temporarily from SGM for a period of evaluation and correction, these documents were uploaded to the Internet by an anonymous person. Since then, a flurry of commentary has exploded on the Internet. I was a member of the Metro Life Church, one of the two SGM churches in the Orlando area, for eight years. We left the church one year ago this week, along with about 300 other people.

What should CJ Mahaney do? I believe that he should, of his own volition, resign immediately and permanently from any kind of leadership within Sovereign Grace Ministries. Through his mismanagement and the subsequent scandal (if I may call it that), he has permanently damaged the trust of a significant percentage of the people who were/are in these congregations, as well as in the larger world beyond SGM. (As I noted in the update to my previous post, his personnel history alone would disqualify him from leadership in any other corporate or non-profit organization.) He has also, perhaps unwittingly, fostered an atmosphere of hero-worship and “fear of man” which is unhealthy for a church that claims to worship God alone. I believe that he should devote a few years to spending some time with God and his own family outside of the public limelight. He can use this season to nurture a fresh reliance on the power of the Holy Spirit to change his life as he seeks to evaluate and correct what has gone wrong. During this time, he should, to the best of his ability, reconcile with those who have grievances against him – not just fellow leaders, but ordinary people. This includes making full public apology and appropriate restitution. After that, he could return to public conference speaking and writing. Those in the larger Christian world who still wish to hear what he has to say can do so. I believe that his gifts and his passion for the gospel of Jesus can flourish better outside of the pastorate and organizational leadership.

What should the SGM board of directors do? If CJ Mahaney does not choose to immediately and permanently step down from any leadership in SGM, the board members should make that decision for him. Then they should follow suit. The board members should also acknowledge their own abuses of authority, make fully public apologies, seek out those they have offended, make restitution where appropriate, and attempt reconciliation. Then SGM should disband as an organization and let each congregation become completely autonomous.

What should local SGM churches do? If the CJ Mahaney and the board of directors fail to resign and disband SGM, local pastors, bolstered by the support of their members, should continue to put pressure on them to do this – and not be intimidated by fear of being fired. Once SGM has disbanded, local pastors will be free and empowered to deal with the crises in their own congregations without having to wait for and follow what upper level SGM leaders are deciding for them. They can seek the fresh guidance of the Holy Spirit and consult with their own members as they move forward in ministry. They can also redraft their church constitutions, as SGM’s flagship Covenant Life Church has promised to do. The pastors in each church should renounce and repent for any authoritarian leadership. They should seek to humble themselves and submit to their members rather than demanding respect and obedience because of their positions. Pastors should also seek out those who have left their churches to offer reconciliation and restitution, without expecting them to return. In addition, they should start recommending, and in some cases funding, professional (non-church) Christian counseling for those who need it.

So, dear readers, what do you think? Leave a comment for all of us to read!

UPDATE: After I posted this, I was alerted to this note on the SGM web site: An Honest Take on a Difficult Week. What is very encouraging is that they are allowing dissenting comments. That's a start! There may still be hope for SGM as an organization, but I guess we'll all have to wait and see!

May I also present…

My Response to Concerns Brought Up by Readers of the Original Blog Post

Since posting on my blog last week, I have received a lot of e-mail in my inbox. A friend warned me that I would want my children to look at my life through a thick lens of grace if they were writing about me in public, and that I would not want a response from others of "too little, too late." As she wrote, "According to Scripture, anyone is only one step away from God – a step of repentance. So, please be careful what you say and send out. You will reap what you sow." That is all so true. It is a sobering thought. I know my children could find a lot of unpleasant things to say about me. I mess up a lot as a mother. There is always time for looking at the log in your own eye before trying to remove the speck from someone else’s. But that doesn’t mean we need to be perfect before we open our mouths. It means we need to acknowledge our own problems, not entirely fix them, before speaking out.

Other friends have questioned whether those who protest against SGM’s abuses are properly following the corrective procedures set forth in Matthew 18. I think theologian D.A. Carson ably addresses that issue of bringing public correction to public figures and teachings (in his case, the Emergent Church movement) here: Editorial on Abusing Matthew 18. Australian born blogger, Anna Blanch, who is in her final year of a PhD at the Institute of Theology, Imagination and the Arts, at the University of St Andrews, Scotland, also recently wrote the article Calling Out Christian Leaders in the Age of Digital Media in light of the some of the controversies surrounding popular preacher Mark Driscoll.

Another thought for those who object to publicly questioning Christian leaders and institutions, is that this is following the example of reformers like Martin Luther, who posted his 95 Theses on the Wittenburg Door, or the Puritans, who called for reform in the Church of England. (Note that I am not a huge fan of the Puritans since my ancestor Margaret Scott was the last and oldest person that they hanged during the Salem witch trials. She was no witch, just a cranky old lady in the wrong place in the wrong century.) Just within the past decade, think about the people involved in the International Church of Christ - also known as the Boston Movement – who spoke out boldly to warn others about the abusive (even cultic) leadership and doctrine. It certainly made a change in their organization as the leader, Kip McKean, stepped down. (See here for a start: http://www.reveal.org/) Shall I go on?

Another reader asked me, “How's the view from your high seat of judgment?”, then suggested that I “seem so overly eager to jump into the fray” and asked if I felt that my blog post glorified God. I replied to the last question, “That is always my intent in whatever I write, as you will see consistently on all of my blogs. It is very difficult for me as a mother and friend of SGM members to put myself out there like this, but what I do is with firm conviction and peace.” And, “I have prayed much about when would be the right time to speak out more publicly. On Friday night, it was time. I do not rejoice in this situation. It grieves me deeply. It would be so much easier to ignore it and wish it would go away. It will not.”

So I know that my words have hit a nerve. A few people have asked questions like, "Why don't you just move on?" or "Why don't you just go settle your grievances with your former church?" Please understand that while I did have some difficult experiences there, I don't write to redress or avenge them. That is totally not the point. My problems were actually quite minor compared to most, and they were (as necessary) resolved with those involved. None of those people were trying to cause me harm, and I wish them the very best. What is at stake are life-giving principles of liberty, justice, grace, and truth. I care about others, and want them to be able to see and avoid the pitfalls that have caused so many such distress, not only with the Sovereign Grace movement but within other movements. If you don't know what I mean yet, please take the time to read at www.sgmrefuge.com and www.sgmsurvivors.com. Or, if you would like the perspective of individual ex-members, read the blog posts about SGM by a young college student or a former member in Canada or at Spiritual Tyranny. Please note that I do not endorse everything you will find at these sites. They are only provided FYDI (for your discerning information). The stories are both plentiful and painful to read. Yes, you will find rancor and angst and harsh words. This begs the question, “Why don't you all just move on and forget about SGM?” Part of it is that people are still processing their pain, and it helps read the similar experiences of others, to write about their own stories, and to talk it through, back and forth, bit by bit. And part of it is that they want to warn people of what to expect as members of Sovereign Grace affiliated churches.

Granted, some SGM members are perfectly happy in their churches and suffering no ill effects. They don’t see any significant problems. I’m glad for them. But others are hurting deeply and wondering if something is wrong with them. In their SGM experience, they feel like they are being spiritually oppressed or that they are in a dark and dismal place. (This was my experience, and I wrote the poem “It Became to Me a Dark Thing” the same week we left, which is, coincidentally, almost exactly one year ago.) It was, in a way, a form of spiritual bondage to inward legalism, and I would love to spare other people from my experience with it. While I certainly don't equate SGM with the barbarity of 1800's slavery, I do think of Harriet Tubman. She was not content with her own freedom if she could not share it with her people, so she went back over and over and over again, at great risk to herself. How dare I compare myself to her? How hard is it to write a blog post in the comfort of my home, as compared to facing the swamp, the whip, and the "Wanted, dead or alive" signs? I’ve got it easy. So, I don’t wish to compare myself, just aspire to her nobility and courage in my own little 21st century techno-mommy ways.

In closing to this postscript, I leave you with a few recent related blog posts.

On Mommy Blogging: Image, Identity, Authenticity and Freedom – writing in late June, I hinted at the issues within SGM without naming the organization

Weekend Gratitude: Lord Have Mercy – reflections from a mellow little PCA church service post-SGM

Spiritual Warfare Prayer - for those who are praying for SGM leaders and members.

All blessings of grace, joy, and peace to you,

Virginia Knowles

www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Weekend Gratitude: Lord, Have Mercy!

2011-07-10T17:55:00.001-04:00

Dear friends,

Weekend Gratitude continues...

I am so thankful for the kind words of support that have filled my inbox and been spoken to me personally in the past two days. (See Friday night's blog post, which has had over 1,000 page loads so far.) It's been quite the journey that past few years, learning more about the mercy and grace of God. This morning, I definitely looked forward to being spiritually refreshed at Lake Baldwin Church. I was particularly excited that our pastor, Mike Tilley, would be preaching on Colossians 2:6-15. (Happy birthday, Mike!) Mike spoke about 5 things in our walk with Christ:

A Growing Walk in verses 6-7:

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

A Careful Walk in verse 8:

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.

A Christ-Centered Walk in verses 9-10:

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.

A Freedom Walk in verses 11-14:

The Crucifixion"
by Matthias Grunewald,
National Gallery of Art

In him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature, not with a circumcision done by the hands of men but with the circumcision done by Christ, having been buried with him in baptism and raised with him through your faith in the power of God, who raised him from the dead. When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross.

A Victorious Walk in verse 15:

And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

All of these words from Colossians 2 are so relevant to me right now! I don't need empty religion, but fullness in Christ. Not everyone who teaches the Bible is Christ-centered. So much of what we hear can be misleading and actually turn us astray from truth. We need to know it for ourselves, reading Scriptures and meditating on what the verses say. Even a paragraph or a chapter a day can make such a difference. Nurturing our personal relationship with Christ will help us to endure the temptations brought by suffering, peer pressure, loss of spiritual emotions, the hypocrisy of other Christians, and our own failures and sense of unworthiness. Since Christ has taken the punishment for our sins, we can be free to walk in a new life of victory as the Holy Spirit works in our hearts.

I thought you also might enjoy one of the songs from this morning. I actually recorded the congregational singing on my iPod, but you can hear my voice and it's not exactly in tune... (When I lamented about that to my husband, he patted my arm sweetly and said, "What's really important is singing joyfully." I was doing that, from the heart.) So instead, let me present a YouTube version of Michael Smith's classic "Lord, Have Mercy" as sung by Eoghan Heaslip. The lyrics are on the screen...

I leave you with a poem I wrote several years ago about the mercy of God.

Rhapsody in M

by Virginia Knowles (Advent 2006)

Myriad mercies:

more and more

merited? no! no merit in murky miserable me

Mystery:

manic malice meted on Messiah Martyr

Mighty and Meek

Miracle:

manic malice meted on my Mediator misses me

marvelous mercies ministered on me

Majestic Master:

master me

move massive mountains in me

make merry melodies in me

mirrors of Thee in mere me

more and more

myriad mercies

~*~*~

But when the goodness and lovingkindness of God our Savior appeared,

he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness,

but according to his own mercy… Titus 3:4-5a

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace,

that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Christ's mercy on you and yours...
Virginia Knowles
www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

My Thoughts on CJ Mahaney and Sovereign Grace Ministries

2011-07-08T23:39:00.021-04:00

Welcome to my commentary about CJ Mahaney and the current crisis in Sovereign Grace Ministries. Please note that this post, originally written on July 8, has been substantially revised, reorganized, and updated as of July 16. I have also deleted many comments (mostly my own!) because I either incorporated the information into the main blog post or I felt that they detracted from the flow of the conversation. If you have comments about this or any other post, I would be delighted to hear from you, even if I can't always respond right away.

As a followup, on July 16, I also wrote My Recommendations for CJ Mahaney and Sovereign Grace Ministries. This new post also includes my responses to concerns brought up by readers of the original post that you will read below.

Note: There is an update as of December 3 at the bottom of this post.

Dear friends,

On July 6, I was quite surprised to receive the news that C.J. Mahaney, the president of Sovereign Grace Ministries, had stepped down temporarily for a season of evaluation and repentance in the midst of grave allegations about his leadership. One paragraph from Mr. Mahaney reads, “Over the last few years some former pastors and leaders in Sovereign Grace have made charges against me and informed me about offenses they have with me as well as other leaders in Sovereign Grace. These charges are serious and they have been very grieving to read. These charges are not related to any immorality or financial impropriety, but this doesn’t minimize their serious nature, which include various expressions of pride, unentreatability, deceit, sinful judgment, and hypocrisy.”

Why should this matter to you, and why does it matter to me? It should matter to you because Mr. Mahaney is a well known author and conference speaker who is lauded as a leader among Reformed evangelicals like John Piper, Al Mohler, Ligon Duncan, Mark Dever, Mark Driscoll and others. His young protégé Josh Harris is also a popular author and speaker. As such, Mr. Mahaney has a lot of influence, and how he behaves reflects on the church at large. It matters to me because for 8 years, I was a faithful member of SGM. Most of my family and I left the local SGM church last year, but we still have an adult daughter and many dear friends who are members there.

I would like to share with you some of the back story, starting with how it became more of a priority for me. A little over three years ago, while corresponding with a Mormon friend about our respective faiths, I started researching not only the Latter Day Saints church, but the dynamics and doctrines of other contemporary religious movements. I focused particularly on ones with authoritarian leadership styles and/or unusual beginnings. (Later this study would also expand to the patriarchal segment of the Christian home schooling movement, where there is much overlap. I have written a series on Gender & Authority.) By what I would call divine coincidence, I stumbled on a pair of blogs written by ex-members of SGM, www.sgmsurvivors.com and www.sgmrefuge.com. In the posts and comments, they shared raw tales of abuse of authority, church dysfunction, and pastoral mishandling of serious situations such as child molestation, domestic abuse, substance abuse, mental illness and suicide. Other recurrent themes are the intense sin-focus, the inward and outward legalism, the lack of grace, and the quenching of the transforming power of the Holy Spirit – all of which I was already noticing more and more as the months and years rolled by.

What about the authoritarian leadership model? Another observation was that SGM (then known as People of Destiny International or PDI) had its earliest roots in the shepherding movement, which advocated invasive scrutiny of members’ lives by pastors and home group (aka care group) leaders, while at the same time not holding these leaders themselves accountable to their own congregations. The “shepherding movement” was founded by the Ft. Lauderdale Five: Derek Prince, Don Basham, Bob Mumford, Charles Simpson, and Ern Baxter. Most of these five men realized the danger of what they started, and later publicly disavowed the model and methods as being dangerous. A former PDI pastor named Chris wrote to me questioning details of PDI/SGM’s early associations and influences with these men and their followers, and suggesting that PDI invented their own “creative brand of control” that resulted in fostering “the amazing blogs that have flourished” (referring to Refuge and Survivors). On the other hand, I have been told by an ex-member that the shepherding movement’s New Wine magazine was often read by PDI pastors. Either way, the general consensus among ex-members is that the organization did indeed adopt an unhealthy level of control at all levels. Chris (the pastor) did join others in pointing to the influence of Bill Gothard, whose conferences and materials about family life (Institute of Basic Life Principles) and home education (Advanced Training Institute) were popular among PDI leaders. (As a side note, I have been reading countless tragic stories by people whose lives and families have been shattered by IBLP’s and ATI’s legalistic requirements and rigid emphasis on authority. There is an entire web site devoted to former members at www.RecoveringGrace.org.) But whatever the formative influences were, I believe that SGM never completely outgrew that paradigm, though it has softened somewhat over the years. Typically, in this kind of environment, there is a pervading atmosphere of fear among both pastors and members.

fear of failure if someone in leadership isn't telling you what to do
fear of taking initiative on new projects because that will be seen as pridefully “putting yourself forward”
fear of being seen as unsubmissive (especially the wives and young adults)
fear of being dismissed as proud and bitter if you try to bring up something bothering you
fear of being publicly shamed, asked to leave the church, or shunned by the members
fear that you will lose your children to “the world” if you choose not to do it their way, which in SGM circles usually means home schooling and courtship
fear of other evangelical Christians not in or approved by your group (as evidenced by which quotes are mentioned from the pulpit and which books are sold in the church bookstore)
fear of trained mental health professionals, Christian or secular
fear of the culture around us

Did all of this drama affect our own congregation in Orlando? Yes, most certainly. I am not going to detail specific incidents that were personally troubling to me. That would be unnecessary and perhaps hurtful to those who were involved. However, I will say that I was noticing enough “red flags” to really bother me, primarily in home groups, women’s events, congregational meetings, and church discipline situations. In addition, while I like to think that I am normally a cheerful and easy going person, I experienced periodic depression and anxiety. While there certainly may be other factors (like having 10 children in 18 years) I attribute the increase in symptoms to an atmosphere of neo-Puritan “worm mentality” and fear. (See my poem“ It Became to Me a Dark Thing".) Increasingly distressed and trying to stay objective, I was putting up with all of it the best I could for the sake of my relationships there and out of a sense of loyalty to the church. However, there were a few trigger incidents which I could not let slide by without speaking about my concerns to the pastors, especially regarding the nature of grace in the Christian life. They listened carefully and politely, and I respect them for that. They also preached a wonderful series on the grace of God, which was a huge blessing to me. I started to hope that there might be some meaningful change in the atmosphere of the church. Then in early 2010, our worship pastor resigned, citing irreconcilable differences with the other pastors over a period of years. All of the sudden, people in the pews who had been blissfully ignorant of any on-going problems got a really rude awakening. They started asking questions and demanding answers. Congregational meetings got quite heated. Other disturbing things happened as well. And for many of us, it was just too much to stay. From what I’ve been told, about 300 people, maybe more, have left the church since then. (This kind of mass exodus has happened in other SGM churches as well.) A sizable percentage of those who left had been members for over 20 years. Many of them had been pillars of the church, serving as leaders in the home groups and other vital ministries. We were among those who transitioned into other congregations. Our family eventually settled in a small Presbyterian (PCA) church where the pastors and elders are more accountable to the congregation. Please know that I do not bear any animosity toward the pastors or the people in our former local church. The pastors have always been very kind to me personally, and I wrote a blog post nearly two years ago sharing what I appreciated about each of them. You can find it here: Appreciating the Pastors at Metro Life Church. And on July 22, I wrote Ten Things I Appreciate About Metro Life Church. My primary protest is against the SGM leadership, polity, and overbearing emphasis on pastoral authority and the sin nature that is propagated from the top of the organization to the bottom. I think it is unfortunate that local pastors have gotten stuck in that mess. I hope that is clear from what I write.

And somehow that brings us to the July 6 announcement from Mr. Mahaney. Many people have started congratulating him for being so very humble and honorable to come forward. I seriously don’t believe that such praise is warranted in this sobering time. And unfortunately, I think his announcement is too little, too late. He speaks as if he intends to take a short sabbatical season away from his duties so that his offenses against a group of select disaffected former pastors can be evaluated and corrected by a team of men. Then he intends to return and lead SGM into a future of fruitful ministry. Hello?!?

In addition to the aforementioned protest blogs, hundreds of pages of careful documentation by former SGM Brent Detwiler were anonymously uploaded to the web. I have only read excerpts and summaries, but from what I understand, the evidence is quite incriminating about severe dysfunction within the organization. Coupled with the decades of serious stories about spiritual abuse and grossly mismanaged family crises that have already been reported by ordinary former members from every single SGM congregation, we’re taking deep trouble throughout the entire organization. This is a top down systemic infection, not an isolated bump here and there. If even a fraction of what has been reported is true, I personally think Mr. Mahaney’s poor job performance has disqualified him from ever returning to a prominent position in ministry. And I don’t think that his peers on the SGM board of directors are qualified to restore him to it, since by many accounts they too have been complicit in this sorry situation for a long time.

The odd thing is, that just a week after announcing that he would step down for a season until his sins could be evaluated by an independent third party, the SGM board has now decided that he is fit for ministry and leadership. They are still going through with the outside evaluation, so this latest announcement seems to be quite a bit premature and presumptive. Ostensibly they are basing this on the grounds that Mr. Detwiler failed to follow their prescribed means of redress to their satisfaction, and therefore they are discounting the validity all of the charges presented in his exhaustive documents. I think these are two separate issues. As a mother, I do not say that one of my children is innocent of all manner of household transgressions just because his or her sibling has tattled with an obnoxious attitude. The legitimacy of the grievances must be dealt with separately from the legitimacy of the means by which they are brought.

I know it seems harsh for me to say all of this about disqualifying CJ Mahaney and the board of directors. This is obviously my own fallible opinion from the peanut gallery. I don’t personally know Mr. Mahaney, though I have heard him preach on numerous occasions. Nor do I have an accurate window into his heart in the past, present or future. But here is my reasoning: to extend grace and forgiveness is one thing, but restoring real trust is quite another. The recent admission of problems by Mr. Mahaney and the SGM board of directors is also seen by many as preemptive posturing of humility in the face of increasing public exposure and impending humiliation, rather than as evidence of genuine repentance and responsibility. I think SGM’s credibility has pretty well been shot. And I am not ready to glibly forgive-and-forget-and-restore-the-man-to-power when there are so many wounded by SGM who have been almost completely ignored in the past few decades. I am astounded that public figures like Southern Baptist Theological Seminary president Al Mohler are so quick to endorse Mr. Mahaney’s character and move on. Maybe this is sincere loyalty and admiration from Mr. Mohler, but detractors have been quick to point out that donations (in excess of $100,000?) to the seminary by Mahaney and SGM had something to do with that. Oh my.

All that aside, though, think about the logistics of the corporate world for a moment. If you had a man or woman applying to be the CEO in your business or non-profit, and candidate’s previous personnel file revealed the kind of mismanagement that Mr. Mahaney has been charged with, would you hire or promote this person? Not likely! And if they were already “on board” you would probably fire them very quickly and very permanently. But, you might object, Mr. Mahaney founded this organization! It’s his ministry! Oh no, it’s not! The church belongs to our Sovereign God. Leaders must be accountable, first to the Lord and then to the people. The church is the whole body of Christ: the people, not just the pastors. If a pastor is not serving his people with integrity and skill, and is instead causing grave harm, he does not belong on the job no matter how penitent he is. That is especially true of the man at the top, who sets the pace and the protocol for everyone else. If Mr. Mahaney was the president of another church denomination such as the Baptists or Presbyterians, where leaders are accountable to and elected by members, would he be reelected with his reputation? I don’t think so. How does the concept of grace and forgiveness automatically equate with his qualification to lead in the future? It’s not about him. It’s about the effectiveness and health of the church. Even if he totally changed his ways, there would be that element of distrust and disrepute hanging on to him – and to the church he continued as its top leader.

People need to hear the truth in plain words, even if it is excruciatingly painful. Do over 50,000 hits in less than 12 hours on July 9 at the www.sgmsurvivors.com web site mean anything? Charges of “gossip and slander” against those who speak out aren’t going to cut it anymore. See here for a very insightful article by Bob Bixby called What Bitterness REALLY Is. Let’s not play the “bitterness trump card” and blame the victims, like Mahaney’s T4G conference colleague Ligon Duncan does when he calls on his ministry constituents to “ignore the assaults of wounded people on attack websites and blogs, and that you discount the opinings of those who have no real knowledge of these matters or relation to SGM or authority to comment upon them…” Yes, sir, that’s quite the way to dismiss the legitimate concerns those who have been hurt by their very real firsthand knowledge of life within SGM! NOT! The anguished appeals for reform have already been exhausted over and over again for decades. The leaders of SGM – not just CJ Mahaney – have chosen to be above any real accountability for too long. Now they have to pay the piper and face the music.

Do I want to bring others down? No, I want to lift others up, to see the downtrodden restored to their dignity. Will CJ Mahaney "go down" in the process? I don't know. I do hope that the man who wrote the book Humility: True Greatness will, through true humility, find that true greatness. That is the greatness of really serving (in deeds, not just platitudes) and restoring the thousands of "the least of these" who have been so devastated as a result of his actions over recent decades. I do think Jesus would be most honored and glorified if he did that. Then "the gospel" that SGM has proclaimed truly would be the Good News of Jesus that it was intended to be. So whatever their initial motives were, I hope and pray that Mr. Mahaney and his colleagues will indeed use this opportunity for true repentance, evidenced by actual restitution and reconciliation with members and ex-members at all levels, not just pastors. He has often preached about the local church being “the happiest place on earth” – but many who came will never darken the door of a church again because SGM broke their sacred trust. Others have fortunately found refuge in grace-filled churches that respect individual people in the pews, not just the leaders.

What is going on with Josh Harris, senior pastor of SGM’s 3000 member flagship congregation, Covenant Life Church? My first thought about Mr. Harris was amazement that he allowed dissenting comments on his blog announcement of Mr. Mahaney’s temporary resignation. I totally respect that! Mr. Harris is garnering the appreciation of many observers by his forthright admissions about the severity of the problems, his acknowledgement of the truths contained in the blogs and the uploaded documents, and his stated determination to see this situation through to resolution. This includes, I am told, a new CLC church constitution approved by the members of the congregation. You can listen to his Sunday morning sermon addressing the situation at CLC here: The Father’s Discipline. However, Mr. Harris’s approach is not necessarily shared by the SGM board members. Due to disagreements with how to proceed through this time of correction Josh Harris has resigned from the SGM board of directors, though he will continue to attend the meetings. The board issued a statement of Where We Differ and Where We Agree. This young man is certainly in my prayers! He has made a good start, and I hope he works to keep this process moving in the direction of integrity and responsibility.

I also need to humble myself and share the SGM blame in my own small ways. For years I quieted my own conscience, my own God-given sense of right and wrong. For years I was so proud (let’s make that arrogant!) that I belonged to THE church that featured what I thought were right doctrine and right living. (Ginny Jacobson, who attends our former church, addresses this tendency in her insightful blog post here: A Fallen Idol - One Man's Sin Exposed My Own.) Where else could I find that unique blend of Reformed / Baptist / Charismatic teaching, amazing worship music, and devout fellow members who took their lifestyle choices like home schooling and courtship seriously? I advertised SGM conferences, books, and CD’s in my e-magazine and on my blogs. I always alerted my friends whenever CJ Mahaney would be in town, so they could come hear him preach. For years, I told friends what a wonderful place our church was to raise children, not fully aware of how many of the young people were struggling and straying because of their experiences there. Beyond our tithe to the local church, we gave extra offerings to SGM until the last year, when I couldn’t do that in good conscience any more. We were deeply involved in all sorts of activities and ministries at church. (I do not regret this, because we have wonderful memories and dear friends from these times.) But it seemed like we were always there, taking somebody to something at the church building almost every day of the week. I was so committed that I thought I would be a member of that church until I died. And lo and behold, I did start dying, inside, little by little. And I let it happen with only a squeak or two here and there, until God mercifully poked me hard and woke me up.

I have a few seemingly random mental images to share before I close this note. There are others in my mind, but these should suffice.

The Berlin Wall: Ronald Reagan calling on Gorbachev to tear it down and the freedom-loving people of Germany dismantling it chunk by chunk. It’s time, folks. Call for truth and freedom. Don’t settle for anything less. Pull down the barriers until the truth is known and the arrogance, fear, and control come tumbling down.

The tale of “The Emperor Who Wore No Clothes”: His royal tailors assured him that his finery was crafted from such a special fabric that only the wise could see it. And all the people, including the emperor himself, “saw” his beautiful clothes because they wanted to be thought wise. Then a truly wise little boy cried out, “But he doesn’t have anything on at all!” And they all realized what fools they had been. Some of you have suspected something amiss for quite some time, but feared being labeled as foolish or non-compliant if you dared to speak up. Call it like it is, dear little flock. Be bold. Speak truth to power. You don’t need to feel naked or vulnerable yourself, because Christ himself clothes you in his very own righteousness, the garments of joy and praise instead of the spirit of heaviness.

“With liberty and justice for all”: the last phrase of the Pledge of Allegiance. Sweet Jesus, under your victory banner, bring that liberty and justice to the least of these my brethren. Bring your healing and grace. Help us to cling to our precious identity in Christ, and never let anyone snatch it from us. Help us to reclaim the transforming dignity that as believers we are (as 1 Peter 2:9 so gloriously declares) “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” Help us to focus on you, the perfect life you lived, the victory you won over death through your resurrection, how you promised the Holy Spirit would indwell us so that we could be more than conquerors “through him who loved us”!

One final word to my friends who are members of Sovereign Grace Ministries, including my own former pastors. Even if you are upset at what I have said, I hope you can respect that I am trying to be true to what I believe. I love you dearly, and I miss you. I know many of you may be shocked and even offended by my words, but I write from my heart because of my concern for you. Please consider my words and pray about how this affects you. My brothers and sisters, cry out to Jesus, the Good Shepherd, who truly gave his own life for you, who bids the weary to come and find rest in his gentle yoke, who leads us on the true path. Writing this reminded me of a short story that I wrote for my Mormon friend. You might enjoy it as well. You can find it here: Parable of Grace.

As a followup to this post, I wrote My Recommendations for CJ Mahaney and Sovereign Grace Ministries. The new post also includes my responses to concerns brought up by readers of this original post. I also ask you to read Ten Things I Appreciate About Metro Life Church and add your own list in the comments.

Update on December 3, 2011: After nearly five months, there does not appear to be any substantive progress at the national level. Here are the top ten developments, with links to articles and blog posts from various sources, including www.sovereigngraceministries.org, www.sgmrefuge.com, www.sgmsurvivors.com, and www.larrytomczak.com.

The pastors of Covenant Life Church (led by Josh Harris) are seriously considering withdrawing from the SGM organization, which has been headquartered in the church building. (See the "Family Update" letter to CLC members.)
Mr. Mahaney and much of his extended family (which includes other pastors) left Covenant Life Church and attended a non-SGM church (Capitol Hill Baptist) for a while before moving on to Solid Rock, a more sympathetic SGM congregation in Maryland.
Mr. Mahaney has retracted his confession (see transcript from November pastors' conference, with added commentary by Kris of SGMSurvivors) and continues to speak publicly in various venues, including a message at the conference.
Also at this pastors' conference, attendees were instructed to go back to their congregations and root out “divisive” members.
Brent Detwiler, the insider who released hundreds of pages of incrimination documents, has been publicly shamed and shunned by his former congregation. Members have been told to avoid talking to him, as well as encouraged to defriend him on Facebook.
Jared Mellinger, a pastor in one of the Pennsylvania churches, warned his church that it was more destructive to read anti-SGM blogs than to go to a porn site. (That’s a real head scratcher!)
Larry Tomczak, who co-founded PDI (now SGM) has issued his own statement about his departure from the organization in 1997, acknowledging the blackmail and cover up.
Todd Twining (my friend and former MLC worship pastor) wrote about his own departure from SGM.
Ambassadors of Reconciliation has been doing in person and phone interviews with people who have been adversely affected by SGM and will eventually present its conclusions and recommendations.
The SGM board is conducting its own review by setting up three panels of current pastors do investigate the issues.

I personally have a hard time believing that the leaders of SGM are planning to change course in any significant redemptive way. Right now, they seem to me to be in full damage control and spin mode. I would concur with Mr. Tomczak that they all need to step down. Their integrity and credibility are in serious question. I am more confident than ever that I made the right choice to leave SGM last year.

You may also wish to read:

On Mommy Blogging: Image, Identity, Authenticity and Freedom – writing in late June, I hinted at the issues within SGM without naming the organization

Weekend Gratitude: Lord Have Mercy – reflections from a mellow little PCA church service post-SGM

Spiritual Warfare Prayer - for those who are praying for SGM leaders and members.

With love,

Virginia Knowles

www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Weekend Gratitude In Advance: Anticipating Blessings

2011-07-01T14:51:00.001-04:00

Dear friends,

This week I'm writing my Weekend Gratitude in advance, looking ahead to what I think awaits me in the next two days.

First of all, it is my son Micah's 12th birthday tomorrow. I'm so glad to be his mom. He is a really friendly and funny kid, and a delight to be around. Micah teaches me a lot because he is always curious and loves to learn, especially about nature. He takes beautiful pictures of birds, insects, and flowers, and expertly cares for the dozens of fish in our aquariums.

So it was no surprise that the only thing Micah wanted me to buy for his birthday was a gerbil with its cage and food. We didn't want to wait until tomorrow, so we went to PetSmart today to pick one out. Our local store was plum out of gerbils, though, so we had to drive another five miles to one that had two white gerbils left. Without further adieu, meet Whiskers, our little girl gerbil! Micah just told me that she ate some sunflower seeds from his hand.

We always let the kids choose what they want for each of their birthday meals. Micah wants eggs, bacon, sausage, and biscuits for breakfast, then sub sandwiches with spicy chili Dorito chips and lemonade for lunch, and then he's going to make pizza (from scratch) for dinner, with brownies and chocolate for dessert. It's going to be a yummy and fattening day. I get hungry even thinking about it. He is eagerly anticipating going to Walmart with me in a little bit to buy all of the ingredients.

On Sunday, we're having lunch with the Walti family, Rachel's and Joanna's hosts in Chiavari, Italy, for three months this year. (See www.AbbondanzaDiVita.blogspot.com for lovely photos and fascinating stories!) The Waltis are flying back to Italy this week after a month in the states, so we're getting together with them and two other families tomorrow afternoon. It's an Italian potluck, so we're making a big pan of lasagna ahead of time. I'll have to figure out a way to keep it warm while we're at church, because we're not coming home in between. I am grateful for our lifetime friendship with Lee and Jeannette and their five kids.

We had planned to go to Lake Baldwin for fireworks on Sunday evening, but my daughter Julia said her fiance Alex has offered to bring over some small fireworks to set off in front of our house instead. We had a blast (literally) with that last year, and it will be a lot less complicated than trying to find a place to park and then getting out of a traffic jam afterwards with a bunch of tired kids on the van. Of course, this holiday is not just about patriotic red, white, and blue and fireworks. It is about the fact that over two centuries ago and even now, men and women have willingly sacrificed their own lives and fortunes so that we in America could enjoy liberty and justice for all. I'm thankful for that! (See

A Tour Through Liberty.) Later note: On Monday, I took the kids down to the Orlando Science Center for their members-only Fourth of July festivities. We could see the downtown Orlando fireworks over Lake Eola from a sixth story terrace a couple of miles away, and they had all sorts of cool shows and exhibits for the kids. We had a blast!)

That's what's coming up this weekend, and I'm grateful even in the anticipation of it. As I thought about that this morning, I realize there is much more to anticipate with gratitude. Most vitally, as a believer in Jesus, I look forward expectantly to the day when I will see him face to face, and all of the sorrow and confusion and pain of life will melt away. This world, with all of its gifts of family, friends, fun, food, and pets -- it is all no match for what is to come. It boggles the mind to ponder an eternity in Heaven in the presence of God, and being changed into someone who is no longer held back by either physical and spiritual weakness. That is a wonder of his grace! (See Grace Will Lead Me Home.) And a feast, such a feast! The wedding feast of the Lamb!

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

"Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is." 1 John 3:2

"Then the angel said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!’” And he added, “These are the true words of God.” Revelation 19:9

Or, as West Coast Revival sings, "Oh to see you, Jesus, I can hardly wait to behold the One I love! Oh to see you, Jesus, know your sweet embrace. My heart is yours, for you I long.”

Blessings,
Virginia Knowles
www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

P.S. I can't resist showing you a picture of the finches they had at the pet store today. As we wait for what we need and want, let us remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 6 about how God cares for us even more than the birds:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Weekend Gratitude Sunday Edition: Jacob's First Birthday Party

2011-06-28T22:53:00.004-04:00

Dear friends,

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I split my Weekend Gratitude into two parts. Here's the second half, covering Sunday!

I am always grateful to be at Lake Baldwin Church on a Sunday morning. It is a blessing to be in what I would describe as a contemporary yet mellow, semi-liturgical setting with really friendly people and good preaching. What's been really fun this summer is that about 140 students from Campus Outreach (mostly from Kentucky and Tennessee) are in town for 10 weeks, and about 100 of them have been joining our little congregation on Sunday mornings. This is especially notable since our usual attendance is only about 175 to begin with! Bring out the extra chairs, folks!

Another thing I appreciated about church on Sunday morning is that our friend Cathy got up during the prayer and praise time (which we have about once a month) and announced that she had set out a big teddy bear shaped plastic container for us to put our coins in each week to feed the hungry. She will give the proceeds to Second Harvest, a local food bank, and hopes to recruit other churches to do the same. Within fifteen minutes of the service ending, the pile of coins -- and paper money! -- was mounting. My kids have been scrounging around the house for spare change ever since then. I found over a dollar helping one of my teens clean a bedroom!

Mike Tilley preached a great sermon on Colossians 1:23b-29 about the Richness of Serving: the servant's suffering (vs 24), the servant's riches (vs 25-27), and the servant's power (vs 28-29). Here! Read it for yourself and be blessed!

23b This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant. ²⁴ Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. ²⁵ I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness— ²⁶ the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints. ²⁷ To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. ²⁸ We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. ²⁹To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.

Usually, I bring a folder with notebook paper for taking notes, but in the flurry of getting out the door with birthday presents, I left it behind. So I was scribbling my notes on the back of the church announcements page instead. Mike encouraged us to dream of ways to make a difference, just as our friend Cathy had.

Our day wasn't over! After a quick stop at a nearby McDonald's, we celebrated my grandson's first birthday party at a local park with about 30 family and friends. I'll let the pictures tell most of the story...

Mommy and the birthday boy!

Jacob's aunts and uncles all adore him! Here are the four youngest of them. It seems like just yesterday that we were celebrating Melody's first birthday, and now she's almost six!

Yes, time sure flies! Mary has known Katie since she was nine, and Catie since they were in college. Friends forever!

"Ben, are you eating a cupcake already?" Oops! The other Ben, Katie's husband, thought I was talking to him! I didn't mean you! Honest!

Mary wanted to get some natural wood blocks for Jacob, but I had trouble finding them in at Walmart and Target. We finally went to Lakeshore Learning, but a box of 50 cost $70. No way! I had a huge basket of all colors of blocks at home, so I just picked through it for a good assortment of natural colored ones, embellished for the occasion with some alphabet blocks. Yes, I had to tape them to stay in place!

My other presents, also wood, are a puzzle that makes animal sounds, and an abacus. We had one of those when Mary was little -- and at least that was reasonably priced at Lakeshore! I think I paid about $15 for it.

Naomi isn't done with her alphabet book for Jacob yet, but here is one of the page spreads!

Cake for Jacob!

And cupcakes and Middle Eastern food for the rest of us!

Those dark balls are falafel, made from chick peas!

My son-in-law made those!

The tan stuff is pita bread with humus. Yummus!

I hope you enjoyed these birthday pictures. There are more here: My Grandson's First Birthday.

By the time we arrived home in the early evening, we were exhausted, but I still managed to play a game of chess with my son Micah. My husband had made dinner for us before we left for church in the morning. That sure made things a lot easier -- and I'm grateful for it!

What am I grateful for? My family, my friends, my church -- people who care! I'm especially thankful for my sweet little grandson, who has brought so much joy to us this year. And now let me borrow the Sunday morning benediction, and make it a prayer for Jacob as he grows older...

"Almighty and eternal God, so draw our hearts to you, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, that we may be wholly yours, utterly dedicated unto you; and then use us, we pray, as you will, and always to your glory and the welfare of your people; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen." (Book of Common Prayer)

That goes for the rest of us, too!

Blessings,
Virginia Knowles
www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Weekend Gratitude: Lake Sybelia at Sunset, Lake Lily at Dusk

2011-06-27T17:32:00.003-04:00

Dear friends,

I guess I've resurrected my Weekend Gratitude series, at least for a little while! This weekend was a very special one for me. So, I've split it into two posts -- one for Saturday and one for Sunday! I'll try to do the second post tomorrow or the next day.

Early Saturday morning, my husband took our teenage son Andrew down to the church office so he could board the bus leaving for youth camp in Tennessee for the week. I'm so thankful Andrew gets to do this!

Then we decided to tackle organizing our storage room and getting rid of as much stuff as possible. Our daughter Julia is getting married this fall, and we need room to store all of the great stuff she'll be collecting in preparation for that. I loved working together with my husband; we made a great team of deciding what would go where, getting things for each other, holding the flashlight, etc. I don't think there is any way either of could have done what we did by ourselves, no matter how much time we had. I'm grateful that we can work together, and that we can make our home a nicer place to live, bit by bit.

After a long day of housework and errands, he wanted to get away with me for a little while. I didn't know where we were going when we left the house, but I absolutely loved it when I found out! My husband knows how much I adore taking pictures of nature, especially of the sun and clouds, so I cheered when we pulled up at Lake Sybelia. What beauty! I only wish I had my regular camera (which went with Andrew to camp) instead of just my iPod to take these pictures. The ones here are just a few of the dozens I snapped. At the end of this post, I'll give you a link to see more.

Our friends Dee and Jeff got married right here at the outdoor chapel area nearly 26 years ago. What a sweet memory!

The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Psalm 19:1

Amen and amen to that!

Why is this tree glowing? No, that is not a firefly on steroids. No, there is not a light hanging from the tree. It's just a lantern on a pole that happens to glow through the fork of the tree trunk from behind. It's all in the angle, folks!

Not enough of lakes at dusk? The sun is mostly down, but we're off to nearby Lake Lily, where you can walk all the way around. It's one of our favorite spots for a stroll. The fountain is so much prettier in real life. I just couldn't seem to catch its true glory in a picture.

This looks like a Dr. Seuss style tree to me! God has a sense of humor!

What a lovely way to unwind with my husband after a long day... Oh, and we went to McDonald's for a hot fudge sundae and pie after that. I'd call that quite a successful date!

I'm so grateful!

Where do you go that refreshes your spirit?

How do you cultivate gratitude in the little things?

You can see over 40 more pictures of our evening here: Lake Sybelia at Sunset, Lake Lily at Dusk.

I'll post part 2 of this weekend's Weekend Gratitude soon! (Hint: It's my grandson's 1st birthday party and more!)

Blessings,
Virginia Knowles
www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com

Virginia's Life, Such As It Is!

Christmas in Malawi, Christmas in America

Every Body Matters by Gary Thomas (A Review by Virginia Knowles)

Pure Pleasure: Why Do Christians Feel So Bad About Feeling Good? Holy Available: What If Holiness Is About More Than What We Don't Do? (which inspired my poem Corpus Christi) Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands Sacred Marriage Seeking the Face of God

Remembering Christmas -- And Other Books by Dan Walsh

The End, The Beginning, and the In Between

Ivory and Gray (A Wedding Poem)

A Country Style Wedding Reception

Just a Few Wedding Pictures!

Just a Few Wedding Pictures!

Honey Cakes and More (A Photo Post)

Mother of the Bride and Soccer Mom

Snapshots and Memories from My Birthday

Is My Head in the Clouds? (And Notes on Beauty)

Maniac Cleaning Day

Leu Gardens and a Busy Birthday for Melody

Melody, My Bud of Joy.

Ten Things I Appreciate About Metro Life Church

My Recommendations for CJ Mahaney and SGM (From the Cheap Seats!)

Weekend Gratitude: Lord, Have Mercy!

My Thoughts on CJ Mahaney and Sovereign Grace Ministries

On Mommy Blogging: Image, Identity, Authenticity and Freedom – writing in late June, I hinted at the issues within SGM without naming the organization

Weekend Gratitude: Lord Have Mercy – reflections from a mellow little PCA church service post-SGM

Weekend Gratitude In Advance: Anticipating Blessings

Weekend Gratitude Sunday Edition: Jacob's First Birthday Party

Weekend Gratitude: Lake Sybelia at Sunset, Lake Lily at Dusk

Pure Pleasure: Why Do Christians Feel So Bad About Feeling Good?

Holy Available: What If Holiness Is About More Than What We Don't Do? (which inspired my poem Corpus Christi)

Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands

Sacred Marriage

Seeking the Face of God