VS Powers of the Mind

10 Most Common Personality Disorders and their Signs & Symptoms

2012-01-28T16:35:00.002+08:00

One of the most important things we have to learn as we grow old is to know how to establish good relationships with other people. But unless you have some uncanny ability to read people’s thoughts, it’s quite difficult to understand what’s going in their minds. For this reason, we mentally label others according to different types and classes, which make it easier for us to predict their actions and intentions. More often than not, we do this unconsciously since we expect each other to act according to expected patterns of behavior (there’s just too many of us on this planet).

There are, however, situations wherein we encounter individuals who seem to be completely different from the rest of the so-called “normal” types. In such cases, we can’t figure out how we should interact with them because their actions are difficult to predict. They are people with what we call personality disorders.

Personality disorders are psychiatric conditions wherein an individual's long-term behavior, emotions, and beliefs are extremely different from their society's standards. People with personality disorders are often unable to cope well even in ordinary situations because of their limited ability to adapt and adjust to their society. Just like other psychiatric conditions, a personality disorder range in its severity and may become integrated with other mental disorders.

The following is a list of the most common types of personality disorders:

1. The Paranoid Personality

A person is said to have the paranoid personality disorder when he or she is overly suspicious of other people. Noticeable symptoms may include:

holding the belief that others are critical even when they are not
bearing grudges, often about imagined slight
insisting on rights
easily becomes angry when they think they are being attacked
unwilling to build close relationships with others
sensitive to rejection and criticism
thinking that people are unkind, untruthful, or unfaithful

2. The Schizoid Personality

A person is said to have the schizoid personality disorder when he or she is indifferent to others, preferring to living apart or away from them. Noticeable symptoms may include:

aloofness or detachment
avoidance of social activities
showing very little emotion
living in seclusion
lack of interest in relationships (even sexual)
indifference to praise or criticism

3. The Schizotypal Personality

A person is said to have the schizotypal personality disorder when he or she is holding irrational thoughts and gets extremely disturbed by them. Noticeable symptoms may include:

displaying emotions untimely or inappropriately
dressing and speaking oddly
exhibiting exceedingly unusual behavior
poor social skills
few relationships (friends and family)
strange beliefs, superstitions, absurd fantasies
discomfort in social situations

4. The Antisocial Personality

A person is said to have the antisocial personality disorder when he or she exhibits a pattern of manipulating or harming others, often in unlawful ways. Noticeable symptoms may include:

arrogance and an obviously high regard for self
persuading or charming others
history of poor conduct during childhood
low self-control, impulsive, low boredom threshold
irresponsibility and disregard for safety of others and self
irritability and anger
abusiveness and/or aggression
lack of empathy or remorse
inability in sustaining relationships
lying, stealing, blaming

5. Borderline Personality

A person is said to have the borderline personality when he or she has a history of unstable emotions often caused by childhood abuse or traumas. Noticeable symptoms may include:

fear of abandonment or abuse
feeling of emptiness, boredom, isolation
feelings of paranoia
feelings of depression
idealization of others, then rejecting
impulsiveness with money, relationships, etc.
self-harming, shoplifting, substance abuse, eating disorders
sudden or extreme displays of emotion

6. Histrionic Personality

A person is said to have the histrionic personality disorder when she is often overly-dramatic in displays of emotion that draw attention to herself. This is more common in women and often starts in early adulthood. Noticeable symptoms may include:

lacking restraint or modesty; wants to have everyone's attention
exceeding concern about personal appearance
dressing and acting in an apparently seductive way
exaggerated emotional displays which are often dramatic
likes to make an impression, but are easily impressed themselves
sensitivity to criticism and disapproval
frequent changes in emotional states
believing relationships are closer than they actually are
seeking immediate gratification
gets easily bored or dissatisfied

7. Narcissistic Personality

A person is said to have the narcissistic personality disorder when he or she has an excessively high regard for his/her own importance and tries to gain recognition of this from others. Noticeable symptoms may include:

behaving in an arrogant and entitled manner
envious of others and thinks others are envious
exaggeration of achievements and abilities
focus on self, with little empathy for others
harsh punishment of those who criticize or do not help
manipulation of others to achieve own ends
lack of genuine concern for people in close relationships
fixation with fantasies of power, intelligence, success, etc.
seeking constant admiration, praise, and approval

8. Avoidant Personality

A person is said to have the avoidant personality disorder when he or she feels inadequate, which greatly affects his or her ability to interact with others. This often appears in childhood and about 1% of both men and woman have this disorder. Noticeable symptoms may include:

assuming others think they are inadequate
avoiding social interaction
difficulty in sustaining close relationships
easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
fear of what others may think or say
feelings of inferiority

9. Dependent Personality

A person is said to have the dependent personality disorder when he or she has a constant need for both emotional and physical support from others. This is observed more often in women, predominantly in societies that put them into a dependent position within the family. Noticeable symptoms may include:

avoidance of responsibility
difficulty in decision making and independent action
fear of being alone or being abandoned
generally obedient; finds it difficult to disagree with others
passive but needy in relationships
taking on unpleasant tasks just to get approval
easily upset by disapproval or criticism

10. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality

A person is said to have the obsessive-compulsive personality when he or she has frequent upsetting thoughts (obsessions) and tries to control them by repeating certain rituals or behaviors (compulsions). The obsessive-compulsive personality often emerges in early adulthood. Noticeable symptoms may include:

extreme focus on work and success
tendency to micro-manage people
highly conscientious (e.g. excessive washing or cleaning)
pays scrupulous attention to details
extreme hoarding
little flexibility, seeking control, stubbornness
little generosity or affection for others
unwilling to spend money or other resources
preoccupation with rules, lists, and fine details (repeated checking)
preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts
aversion to particular numbers

Assigning names to different types personality disorders that people display helps us understand them better. It is a practical way for us to distinguish their biases, peculiarities, prejudices, preferences, motivations, traits, weaknesses, etc.

However, there are people with personality disorders who do learn to pretend and behave just like everyone else. Hence, when interacting and dealing with others, it's important to always pay attention to the things that they do as some people may seem to act in usual ways, but may actually have serious issues deep inside that need to be resolved (with the help of professionals).

Do remember that people with personality disorders are no different from those who think of themselves as "normal" people. All of us are trying to find our way in this journey we call life and would rather take the safest and easiest route. But for most of us, life just proves to be one hell of a journey, so the least we can do is to attain a greater understanding of ourselves and each other.

10 Reasons Why People Play Games In Relationships

2012-01-25T20:34:00.000+08:00

People play games not only in sports arenas but in their relationships too. Games are complicated patterns of behavior that appear to be irrational and tend to happen repeatedly. Many of us often get involved in games in our associations with others. Games are typically negative, but people may persist on playing them due to ambiguous psychological reasons.

Eric Berne, a Canadian-born psychiatrist best known as the creator of transactional analysis and the author of Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships, defined a game as: “An ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome.” In other words, people behave in vague ways when they interact with each other so as to achieve certain objectives.

Here are some other facts about games:

Games have rules and the players in a game all have different roles with definite scripts.
If every player knows the rules of a game and follows it accordingly, then it will advance towards the outcome.
Games are usually played by two characters, but other people may also get involved and play supporting roles.
Games may be initiated in different triggers such as a single word or a buildup of events.
Games end when a certain goal has been achieved or when one or more players deviate from the game making it impossible to continue. Not participating in the game can also break the pattern.
Games are generally repetitive. That’s how people remember the rules and why games can last for days, weeks, months, years, or even generations.

Examples of Games

Berne’s named several kinds of games in the book mentioned above, but he also stated that there are many more games that are yet to be defined. Some of the names he gave the games he had observed are actually quite amusing. Here are a few examples:

Stop me if you can – engaging in destructive activity to get attention
If it weren't for you – blaming others for your own shortcomings
I'm only trying to help you – complaining when others refuse your help
Let's you and him fight – getting others to fight for you
Look how hard I've tried – exerting effort just to have a valid excuse
Now I've got you, you son of a bitch – finding reasons to express one’s indignation
See what you made me do – blaming others for one's own problems
How do you get out of here – finding reasons and ways to escape from a situation
Why don’t you - Yes but... – making excuses after someone offers an advice

Why Do People Play Games?

Games are played because of one or several reasons. The game “Now I’ve got you, you son of a bitch,” for example, may involve the need for power, revenge, and displacement.

1. Attention – People play games to enhance their sense of identity. Small children throw tantrums to get attention. For adults, the range of possible behaviors is far too wide.

2. Sympathy – People play games when they experience difficulty in coping with life’s challenges. They enter what Berne’s called the “Child” ego state as if needing the help and reassurance of adults.

3. Control – People play games because they have a need to take control of situations. They are usually what we call “control freaks.”

4. Power – People play power games to secure a superior position among other people and to boost their sense of supremacy and control.

5. Revenge – Our self-esteem and sense of power diminishes when we are offended by others. Hence, we play games of revenge to retaliate so that we can regain what we have lost.

6. Deception – There are times when you can’t always play the good guy role in your dealings with other people. Deception can be used in a variety of ways from subtle persuasion tactics to ruthless games of greed and obsession.

7. Escape and Avoidance – People may play games to get away from things that make their life miserable or to avoid taking responsibility.

8. Excuse – People create excuses in order to protect their sense of identity by leading others to believe that what they have done is caused by something external.

9. Displacement – People change their behavior from one objective believed to be dangerous or unacceptable towards a substitute objective believed to be safe or acceptable. Most teenagers, for example, can’t express their anger directly at their parents, so they run away to their friends.

10. Anticipation – People play games because they like the anticipation they experience from it. Games involve all sorts of feelings such as pleasure, anxiety, excitement, and so on. The experience of these feelings shifting from one to another is often quite addictive.

Most of us don’t realize that we are playing games with other people. This is why we get into troubles in our relationships. Try to find out more about the games that people play. If you can understand how these games work, you will gain the ability to adjust your attitudes and act in more appropriate ways towards others.

Reference

Berne, Eric (1964). Games People Play: The Basic Hand Book of Transactional Analysis. New York: Ballantine Books.

12 Irrational Beliefs That Make People Neurotic

2012-01-24T19:44:00.000+08:00

Neuroticism is an emotional instability considered by psychologists to be a maladaptive type of behavior that lead to dysfunctional and non-productive ways of living. Individuals who score high in neuroticism are often emotionally reactive, are more likely to perceive commonplace events as threatening, get sick frequently, interpret minor challenges as utterly difficult, are often in a bad mood, and tend to lack rewarding interpersonal relationships.

The difficulties that neurotic people experience in managing their emotions frequently reduce their ability to make rational decisions and successfully deal with pressure and stress. Also, when they allow their issues to persist for long periods of time, their problems tend to get even worse.

Personal issues may arise out of numerous causes, but perhaps the only problem why people don’t cope too well is that they don’t realize they are being neurotic. Sometimes the only thing one needs to do in order to find ways to solve one’s problem is to become aware about one’s own behavior and beliefs.

Albert Ellis, an American psychologist who in 1955 developed Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), identified a number of irrational beliefs that people often hold on to and which cause and sustain their neurotic disorders.

According to Ellis, even if your experiences are relatively valid and have caused you real suffering, it is your irrational beliefs that generate enduring problems. The best solution is to disprove your irrational beliefs in order to regain your sense of worth and get the chance to recreate your own life.

Ellis often mentions twelve examples of false and irrational beliefs:

It is a dire necessity for adults to be loved by significant others for almost everything they do.
Certain acts are awful or wicked, and that people who perform such acts should be severely damned.
It is horrible when things are not the way we like them to be.
Human misery is invariably externally caused and is forced on us by outside people and events.
If something is or may be dangerous or fearsome, we should be terribly upset and endlessly obsess about it.
It is easier to avoid than to face life difficulties and self-responsibilities.
We absolutely need something other or stronger or greater than ourselves on which to rely.
We should be thoroughly competent, intelligent, and achieving in all possible respects.
Because something once strongly affected our life, it should indefinitely affect it.
We must have certain and perfect control over things.
Human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction.
We have virtually no control over our emotions and that we cannot help feeling disturbed about things.

Try contemplating on the above mentioned beliefs and determine if you are harboring any one of them. When you do find out that you are holding on to one or more of these beliefs, then perhaps you are suffering from neurosis. Ask yourself if you have any reason for holding on to such beliefs. Make a list of all the negative things these beliefs are causing you and all the positive things that might happen if you let go of them, and then use this list to convince yourself in changing your perspective in life.

References

The Essence of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, by Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Revised, May 1994.
http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/ellis.html

25 Signs & Symptoms of Addiction: What Makes Someone An Addict?

2012-01-23T17:08:00.002+08:00

We often use the term “addiction” quite loosely in conversations without really knowing how it works and what it does to people. There are times when we think that just because someone is doing something habitually ― like regularly visiting a social network site, playing video games, or watching TV ― it automatically makes them an addict, but that’s not entirely true. What is true is that in both habit formation and addiction, we manifest forms of thoughtless behavior.

So how can we tell the difference?

Addiction and habit formation are both considered as forms of learning. When you do something gratifying, there is a good chance that you would want to do it again. If you keep on repeating that behavior for a certain period of time, your actions become automatic, i.e., you form a habit.

Most habits turn out to be quite harmless and can be turned into good use, such as in playing sports or learning a variety of skills. In addiction, the person develops a powerful need and strong desire for a certain substance or activity. This feeling does not easily go away for an addict whereas in a habit you can simply do something else to keep your mind away from the object of desire and thus break the behavior pattern. The feeling that an addict has for a desired object tends to become even stronger when it’s ignored and may even last after the addict has successfully fulfilled the need.

In any case, it’s still hard to determine whether you are just exhibiting a habitual behavior or already showing signs of addiction. Hence, here are a few indicators to help you determine if you are an addict:

1. An addict tends to change his circle of friends. Instead of hanging out with usual friends, an addict may choose to join those who engage in the same addictive behavior.

2. An addict is compulsive. Even if the person knows that the behavior will get her into trouble or will make her feel worse, she is unable to control her urges. She simply can’t say “no” to her addiction.

3. An addict conceals behavior. An addict will have the tendency to lie to people in his relationships by denying his actions or concealing the substances that he uses.

4. An addict experiences craving. Craving is a constant, ever-present, and powerful desire. An addict can’t think of anything else but to fulfill the need of his/her addiction.

5. An addict depends on the object he is addicted to. An addict is extremely attached to something whether it's drugs, gambling, food, sex, work, shopping, and whatnot.

6. An addict experiences emotional outbursts. Addiction may lead one to experience sudden feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, lonesomeness, spite, and so on.

7. An addict tends to neglect obligations and responsibilities. Addiction is often used as an escape. Thus, the addict is usually absent or may demonstrate poor performance in school or at work.

8. An addict tends to have financial problems. When an addict runs out of money, the person would try to sell anything, borrow from other people, or steal just to sustain the addiction.

9. An addict might harm himself or other people. This may include either physical or emotional injure.

10. An addict’s abnormal behavior tends to increase occurrence. Whether it’s substance abuse or indulging in peculiar activities, an addict will go to the extreme.

11. An addict might engage in dangerous situations. Since addiction puts people in a different state of mind, an addict might exhibit all sorts of irrational behavior thus placing one’s self in danger.

12. An addict tends to have legal issues. Drug addicts often get arrested for use/sale of illegal substances. Other addicts get into trouble for antisocial behavior.

13. An addict experiences difficulty in speech. Some forms of addiction may result to alteration in speech patterns.

14. An addict experiences difficulty in movement. Some forms of addiction may result to lack of physical coordination.

15. An addict may drastically change in physical appearance. Addiction may also cause periods of sweating, pupil dilation, and skin problems.

16. An addict is often preoccupied. The person will usually spend time thinking about the object of addiction even when not busy trying to fulfill the need.

17. An addict is unwilling or unable to give up. An addict lacks the will power to put an end to the addiction, that’s why the person needs the help of others (even if it’s against one’s will).

18. An addict may experience problems in close relationships. The person tends to get into arguments with family members and friends and sometimes even display violence towards loved ones.

19. An addict may display psychological disorders. This may include paranoia, antisocial personality disorders, narcissism, and so on.

20. An addict often prefers seclusion. The person may not like joining other people in social activities. One would rather retreat to a secluded place for indefinite periods.

21. An addict may experience eating and sleeping disorders. Sleeping or eating considerably more or less at unusual times.

22. An addict may become sensitized. Sensitization occurs when there is an increased effect of a drug following repeated doses. This means an addict will experience the same effect even when the drug dosage is reduced.

23. An addict may become tolerant. This is the exact opposite of sensitization. The addict needs to increase the dosage in order to experience the desired effect.

24. An addict may increase or decrease in weight over a short period. This is due to changes in body chemistry and metabolism caused by substance abuse or physical and mental disorders.

25. An addict may experience withdrawal. When an addict stops taking the substance of abuse or ceases to engage in the activity, he may experience unpleasant physical or psychological effects.

Take the time to reflect on these signs and symptoms. If you are exhibiting any or all of these behaviors, then you are most likely suffering from an addiction. It’s not impossible to find solutions to your problem, but in case you find it too hard to solve the problem on your own, you can always seek professional help. Just always remember that you are not alone.

6 Ways To Avoid Common Injuries During Exercise

2012-01-19T22:59:00.000+08:00

[A guest post written by Brenda Lawrence of Physical Therapy Aide.] Exercise is a great way to keep your body fit, but it can also occasionally cause injuries. It’s important to know what to do in case of injury during exercise, since improper care of an injury can cause even more trouble and pain. Here are some of the common injuries that might occur during exercise and how to care for them.

Muscle Strains – If one of your muscles gradually develops pain during exercise, or if you feel sudden pain, you should stop doing the activity. Many people think that working through the pain will make it go away, but this can make the injury even worse. The first thing you should do is rest and ice the muscle for 15-20 minutes at a time, since this will help bring down inflammation. If it keeps hurting after a day or two, contact your doctor for further care. You should avoid exercising the injured area until you don’t feel any pain.

Cuts and Scrapes – If you get a cut or scrape during exercise, you should stop and tend to the injury as soon as you can. Clean the affected area with soap and water, then apply an antibacterial gel and appropriate bandaging. If the cut is serious and you think you might need stitches, contact your doctor as soon as you can. Refrain from exercise until the injury stops hurting.

Falls – Falls can lead to serious injuries such as broken bones and concussions. If you fall during exercise and you think you might be seriously injured, call for help or dial 911. It’s especially important to move as little as possible if you hit your head, in case you have a concussion. Wait until help comes to you and try to stay calm.

6 Ways to Avoid Injury During Exercise

Many people get injured during exercise because they do not take the proper precautions before undertaking an exercise regime. Here are some things you can do to help prevent injury:

1. Consult a physician. Talk to your doctor before starting any exercise program to make sure it is appropriate for your health condition.

2. Warm up and cool down before and after exercise. This helps loosen your muscles and help your heart rate gradually adjust to starting and finishing exercise. You should also stretch properly after warm-ups and cool-downs.

3. Drink water and/or sports drinks to say hydrated. Our bodies lose a lot of water during exercise, so you should drink water before you think you need it, especially if it’s hot outside.

4. Rest if you need to. If you feel pain, dizziness, sickness, or are having trouble breathing, you should listen to your body and take a break so that you can recover.

5. Wear proper attire. Make sure you wear the right footwear for your sport and replace it when it’s worn out. Dress according to the weather so that you don’t overheat or get too cold.

6. Exercise in well-lit areas where there are other people around. If you are injured, it’s much safer to have other people around who can help you if you need it.

Brenda Lawrence is a physical therapist who specializes in sports rehabilitation. She owns the site Physical Therapy Aide for students interested in a career as a physical therapy aide.

10 Ways To Give Your Emotional Intelligence A Big Boost

2012-01-18T05:10:00.000+08:00

Working on emotions is probably the hardest thing I ever did in my life. I mean, it’s easier to deal with physically debilitating and mentally exhausting conditions like sleep deprivation, hunger, and fatigue. Having your own family is enough to get you well-trained in those areas. What’s hard is when the psychophysical stuff such as fear, sadness, anger, hatred, and lust start to arise, the sudden shift from one emotional state to another sometimes makes me feel like I'm being transported into another realm.

When we’re interacting with other people in the flesh (or even in cyberspace) we are usually incapable of seeing the process by which an emotion entirely takes control over our state of mind. Emotions have a life of their own and arise in all kinds of situations, even with the absence of human interaction.

Most people, for instance, would find it hard not to gnash their teeth after watching a viral video on YouTube depicting soldiers committing crimes against humanity or after seeing annoying status updates on Facebook from so-called “friends” they don’t even know personally. Those who are a bit low on the emotional intelligence scale probably experience difficulty in controlling their reactions in situations like this.

Of course, emotions are not entirely bad. Some are actually useful in guiding us towards actions that are sensible and desirable in certain situations. However, if we don’t exert some effort to improve our emotional intelligence thereby gaining control over our emotions, they may cause us to behave in certain ways that might make us feel extremely disappointed and remorseful about soon after.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence was formally defined by Peter Salovey and Jack Mayer in 1990 as a member of an emerging group of mental abilities alongside social and practical intelligence. Emotional intelligence refers to the processes involved in perceiving, using, understanding, and managing emotions to solve emotion-laden problems and to regulate behavior.

Author and psychologist, Daniel Goleman, claims that improving one’s emotional intelligence is more significant in leading a better life than having a high IQ. In his book Emotional Intelligence, Goleman asserts that emotional intelligence, for the most part, determines our success in relationships, work, and even physical wellness. A person may be intellectually gifted (with high IQ), but if he lacks certain skills in social relations, he may have a hard time coping with stress in the workplace.

How can we improve our Emotional Intelligence?

There are numerous methods you can apply to improve our emotional intelligence. In fact, psychologists employ different techniques in therapeutic sessions to help their patients learn about their own emotional issues, which are usually attached to false and limiting beliefs. If you want to work on improving your emotional intelligence by yourself, here are some things that you can try:

1. Introspect – To enhance your emotional intelligence, try spending some time alone in a peaceful and secluded place while examining your thoughts and feelings. Contemplate while you are not engaged with others so that you have more chance to pay attention to your emotions that would otherwise occur below the level of your awareness in social interactions.

2. Become emotionally literate – Being emotionally literate is having the ability to classify emotions accurately. It would be much easier for you to identify your own emotions and that of others if you can name each one of them. This is when knowing the different types of emotions comes in handy.

3. Empathize – Emotional intelligence involves the ability to acknowledge the emotions of other people. Additionally, it includes recognizing differences between people since each of us have different ways of dealing with our emotions. If you can empathize with others, you gain their confidence and trust.

4. Balance – Emotional intelligence involves composure in the face of the changes regarding your emotional states. A balanced attitude means that you do not get easily attached to states of mind such as when you experience gain or loss, admiration or shame, happiness or sorrow, and so on. In this state, you are responsible and active, but you do not dwell on the past or worry about the future.

5. Be responsible – Emotional intelligence involves being responsible for what you feel and the behavior you manifest as a consequence of those feelings. It’s easy for us to put the blame on others for what we feel, but do remember that emotions arise from within our selves. There are no cupids shooting arrows at us.

6. Perceive emotions – A basic aspect of emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize other people’s emotions by recognizing them in facial expressions, voices, pictures, stories, music, and other objects. When you are able to see and read emotion an emotion, it becomes easier to think about how you are going to act in response to it.

7. Use emotions – Emotional intelligence involves taking advantage of your own moods and feelings by utilizing them to enhance your abilities in other activities such as problem solving, creative thinking, interpersonal communication, and decision making.

8. Understand emotions – This refers to your ability of being sensitive to tiny variations between different emotions and the process in which emotions connect and switch from one type to another. For example, knowing when the feeling of humiliation and shame transforms into feelings of anger or self-pity. Understanding emotions is quite different from merely perceiving them.

9. Manage emotions – Emotional intelligence involves the ability to regulate and control our emotions (both positive and negative) by employing strategies that alter your feelings. This includes your ability to assess the effectiveness of these regulation strategies in attaining your desired objectives.

10. Manage other people’s emotions – Lastly, if you can perceive and understand the process by which people experience emotions, then you will be able to exert your influence as to when and how those emotions arise, from activating emotional triggers to managing their emotional states.

10 Common Sources of our False and Limiting Beliefs

2012-01-14T22:06:00.001+08:00

“Do you believe in God?” I often asked this question to my friends who are mostly Christians whenever conversations moved towards the subject of religion. I always enjoyed watching their reactions whenever they threw the question back at me and I answered with something like, “I don’t believe in anything.” Unsurprisingly, they always assumed that there was something wrong with me for not believing in anything and, above all, for not believing in God.

Of course, to claim that you “don’t believe in anything” is erroneous. All of us have beliefs and many of those beliefs work to keep us alive. There are some things that we don’t need to experience first hand in order to prove that they are true. Like the belief that you will die if you jump from a tall building, for example, or the belief that touching a hot stove will cause you pain.

But to say that something is “erroneous” is a belief itself, so how do you resolve that paradox? In my case, I like to be open to all possibilities. That is why I don’t hold tightly to my beliefs. In the words of the Swiss psychologist named Carl Jung:

“The word "belief" is a difficult thing for me. I don't believe. I must have a reason for a certain hypothesis. Either I know a thing, and then I know it - I don't need to believe it. I don't allow myself to believe a thing just for the sake of believing it. I can't believe it. But when there are sufficient reasons for a certain hypothesis, I shall accept these reasons, naturally.”

What is a belief?

Belief is the mental recognition and validation of the truth and actuality of something. Our beliefs form certain patterns in our minds. We characterize beliefs as a particular set of images, sounds, or feelings that we turn into mental representations. Once you form a mental representation of something or attach a word to it, then you are, quite essentially, creating a belief.

Belief is different from knowledge to a certain extent. Beliefs serve as filters on our view of reality. In order to make sense of the innumerable signals produced by the external world, we filter information by deleting, distorting, disqualifying, generalizing, and labeling those signals according to our beliefs.

On the other hand, if you can experience something directly, from moment to moment, without filtering any information (possibly through meditation or some other means) then I “believe” that is what we call true knowledge.

What are false and limiting beliefs?

False and limiting beliefs are those mental representations which restrict, inhibit, manipulate, or control our actions one way or another. These beliefs may be about our selves, the people around us, the environment in which we move, or reality itself. We can acquire our false and limiting beliefs from everything around us, especially from the language we use.

Here are a few examples of where we get our false and limiting beliefs:

1. Experience and reflection – Our everyday experiences are a key source for our beliefs. Unfortunately, we cannot experience either the past or the future. We can only experience what is happening now; even though our awareness of events that happen in the "now" is still significantly incomplete. Through reflection, we often draw mistaken conclusions about our experiences, and these conclusions consequently limit our understanding of reality.

2. Education – We go to school to study a set of courses which are either assigned to us or we choose to assign to ourselves. Educational institutions feed us the information we cannot acquire from personal experience. Sadly, as soon as we graduate, we become finished products of those institutions, yet with limited knowledge of reality.

3. Common sense – When we “use our common sense,” we are basically estimating something based on a set of ideas that we believe the majority of us should have. In early times, for example, people believed that the Earth was a flat disk. Those who thought otherwise usually got slapped on the head.

4. Tradition – In all human societies, beliefs are passed from one generation to another through folktales, legends, myths, music, dance, proverbs, jokes, and customs. Traditional societies have many similarities, but may have quite as much differences as well.

5. Emotions – It is easy for us to attach mental representations to the things that we feel, especially those strong emotions such as fear, hate, love, sorrow, and happiness. Consequently, our emotions can be triggered by similar images from the external world (a fact exploited by people in the mass media).

6. Basic drives – Similar to what we do with our emotions, we also attach beliefs to the things that we need in life such as when we have an ideal diet, ideal home, ideal partner, ideal job, and so on.

7. Religion – Religious rites, rituals, and doctrines are three of the most effective ways of transmitting beliefs. The problem with this is that people sometimes assume that what they believe in the context of their religion is true within the context of other religions.

8. Experts – These are the people who have demonstrable knowledge and skills in certain subjects. They usually pass down the things they know through their written works like books, essays, journal publications, and whatnot. We often summon the spirit of dead experts when we quote their words to justify our reasoning. (Yep, I am guilty of doing this.)

9. Authority – Parents, bosses, specialists, leaders, celebrities, priests, etc. These are all authority figures that we rely upon merely because to their power, status, charisma, or expertise. More often than not, we believe their words without even questioning the things that they say. Just because they have authority over us doesn’t mean that they are absolutely right and incapable of making mistakes.

10. Principles – A principle is an unchallenged set of beliefs established by experts and authorities. In the scientific community, principles originate from systematically designed experiments which provide evidence for what is true and what's not. A principle is usually replaced by another one when a new generation of experts steps up to challenge the foundation of the old generation.

Of course, not everything we acquire from the sources mentioned above are false and limiting. However, it is so easy for us to get attached to our views, ideas, and opinions that sometimes we fail to notice how these things affect our minds, making us perform all sorts of irrational behavior.

Since we can only construct mental representations (maps & models) of the world ― given the fact that we can’t process all the signals that pass through our senses ― then perhaps we could say that our actions are not a reaction to what is really happening in reality, but a reaction to those mental representations that exist in our minds, i.e. our beliefs.

Accordingly, what we believe determines how we see the world, the events that happen within it, and the people who surround us. Many of us usually don’t spend time analyzing our beliefs to check whether these are false or limiting us in some way. If we don’t examine our beliefs, then perhaps we might as well consider ourselves no more different from robots that operate through programming or animals that rely purely on instincts. The bottom line: don’t take your beliefs for granted.

10 Common Decision-Making Mistakes You Should Avoid

2012-01-12T04:22:00.000+08:00

Decision-making is a mental process through which the end result is a selection involving different choices. We make decisions all the time and we normally have multiple preferences with respect to our method in choosing; involving either logic or emotion (or both). Researchers have actually described a wide range of methods we use that vary on the degree of logic or emotion included in the decision-making process.

Logic is certainly relevant for helping us decide what to do. We would like to think that most of the time we are making logical decisions, but it is worth considering that there are certain circumstances wherein our cognitive and emotional biases may also be playing some part in the process, which causes us to commit mistakes in our decisions.

A cognitive bias is a general term that is used to describe many observer effects in the human mind, some of which can lead to perceptual distortion, inaccurate judgment, or illogical interpretation (Kahneman & Tversky, 1972). An emotional bias, on the other hand, is a distortion in decision-making due to emotional factors.

The following are just a few examples of cognitive and emotional biases that can influence the way we make our decisions. Knowing them can help us understand how we can become better decision makers.

1. Ambiguity Effect – This theory states that when we don’t have substantial evidence to support our decision, we are more likely to choose something that we think is more likely to happen over those things that we aren’t sure what the outcome will be. A person who is thinking of investing money between an old and a new technology, for example, may choose the former since the risks involved in investing with the new technology is unknown.

2. Cognitive Dissonance - This is when we feel uneasy due to holding two conflicting ideas in the mind simultaneously. Cognitive dissonance is felt nearly in all the decisions we make. When we make decisions that are not aligned with our values and beliefs, we may either try to change those ideas to support our decision or we may just as well make another decision that won’t make us feel uncomfortable. For example, when you want to buy something expensive and out of your budget, you may either try to find reasons to convince yourself that you are making the right choice or you may just choose something that is not too expensive so as to avoid cognitive dissonance.

3. Commitment - A commitment is a public or private decision to act. The fear of social rejection can prove to have a very strong influence in the decision making process. When we make a promise, we usually stick to our commitment even if we are presented with better options.

4. Contrast Effect – This refers to our tendency to evaluate two things against each other even if there is a fixed standard that we can use to evaluate those things. A salesperson who is trying to sell you something expensive, for example, will show you something that’s even more expensive first. This increases the chances of you buying the first item while ignoring the fact that both items are expensive.

5. Information Bias – This is when we assume that gathering more information when we are trying to make a choice is more useful when, in fact, it is not. In this case, additional information only serves to confuse us. A typical example is when are trying to find information on the Internet about a given subject and then suddenly get overwhelmed by the available data.

6. Involvement Theory – This theory simply states that when we are more emotionally involved in a situation, we tend to pay more attention to it. Conversely, we tend not to think too much about making a decision in a situation that does not affect us emotionally. Other people may find it easier to influence our decision in either case.

7. Pseudocertainty Effect – Basically, this theory states that in making decisions we have the tendency to perceive an effect to be certain even if we don’t really understand the probability of the options presented to us. Here’s a better explanation with an example that is probably better than anything I can think of.

8. Scarcity Effect – This is when we tend to want something more simply because we imagine ourselves being disappointed if we let the opportunity slip by. The scarcity effect is commonly used in sales as in “offer good while supplies last” or “limited time offer.”

9. Source Credibility – Our decisions can be easily influenced by people who are generally likeable, credible, and attractive. Thus, when someone is trying to persuade you or change your beliefs to make a decision, pause and check whether you’re just being carried away by their physical attractiveness, authority, or charisma.

10. Sunk Cost Dilemma – This is when we have placed a considerable investment (time, money, or whatever) in something and become unwilling to pull out our investment despite the possibility of losing more in the process. An example is when people in a casino become reluctant to go home after losing a large sum of money, so they continue to bet hoping to recover their loss.

10 Ways To Add Strength To Your Will Power

2012-01-10T01:49:00.000+08:00

Lou Ferrigno in Pumping Iron

Will is regarded as a philosophical idea that pertains to some kind of internally motivated behavior. Will power, on the other hand, is the degree of strength that can be applied by your will. We often hear people say that those who have strong will power are able to withstand prolonged suffering and tough challenges so as to meet a specified goal, whereas others who have limited will power surrender much easily.

Why is this so? What does strength have to do with will power and how can we get more of it?

Will power and muscle power are remarkably comparable. We use muscle power when we exert physical effort in doing something. Likewise, we use will power when we exert mental effort for certain actions geared toward transforming ourselves.

As we all know, anything that involves movement of some kind requires a certain amount of energy, and energy gets depleted as more effort is exerted. But we also know that if we make our bodies stronger through regular exercise and proper diet, then our muscles perform better and we gain the ability to rise above physical barriers.

Following this principle, if we constantly practice the exertion of willful effort to the things that we want to achieve, then nothing will be able to stop us from attaining those things. The will gets stronger just like our muscles.

“A man can do what he ought to do; and when he says he cannot, it is because he will not.” - Johann Gottlieb Fichte

With that said, here are 10 ways that can help you add strength to your will power:

1. Transfer your energy. When you notice something in yourself that you want to stop doing, replace it with something that is reasonably undisruptive. In psychology, this process of transforming unwanted impulses into something less harmful is called sublimation.

2. Identify the belief. Stop and reflect whenever you notice yourself doing something that you think is wrong. Identify the script that you keep on repeating to yourself. Figure out the belief that is behind it and then change it to something more positive. For example, when you notice yourself using the script “I can’t,” ask yourself why then find a reason that will allow you to change that script to “I can!”

3. Stop making excuses. Only children are allowed ― perhaps sometimes, but not most of the time ― to get away with their excuses. All adults are expected to be responsible for their actions, good and bad.

4. Refuse and resist. People will sometimes say discouraging things to you simply because they don't have enough strength and courage to do it themselves. Don't listen to them. If you are aiming for something, just do it!

5. Make it more costly. We hate things that involve any extra effort or cause unnecessary inconvenience. It’s not because we are inherently lazy as a species, but because we like to conserve our energy as living organisms so that we can use it for more meaningful tasks. Thus, when you want to change a negative behavior, then make it more costly in some way.

6. Recharge your batteries. Get some sleep or take a rest. According to scientists, acts of self-control also feed on the glucose supply in our bloodstream since the brain is doing some very serious processing. Accordingly, when our glucose supply runs short, we feel tired and our will power gets affected.

7. Loss and gain. Think about all the work you have already put in and how it will only be wasted if you’re going to give up now. Equally, think about the benefits you will get and how good it will feel as soon as you’ve reached what you’ve set out to do.

8. Focus on the end result. Sometimes we get caught up in our journey that we forget our destination. Always keep a picture of your goal in your mind. At the end of the day, spend a little bit of time reflecting on this picture and try to make it look so convincing that you can almost experience it as if it is already achieved.

9. Keep your integrity. Giving up on something that you promised or announced to people you would do is a guaranteed way to damage your reputation. Remember that a solid reputation increases your presence and exaggerates your strengths, but a stained one is hard to restore.

10. Align your values and beliefs. Whenever you plan on doing something, always do a thorough screening of it using your core values and beliefs. Having to deal with your conscience can also drain you of your energy, so make sure that your plan is aligned with your idea of what is right.

10 Characteristics Of A Right Training Exercise

2012-01-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

As human beings, we have an inherent need for improving our physical and mental abilities through the use of training exercises. This is exceptionally true for our early ancestors who relied on their skills for one very important reason, i.e. their survival. Just to make sure they stayed alive, they had their training in their natural environment which allowed them to focus on various elements to help improve their physical capabilities such as strength, endurance, fitness, agility, flexibility, coordination, stamina, speed, balance, and accuracy.

Today, we use training exercises not just for survival but for many other reasons. As we can see, people engage in all sorts of activities from those that require more physical effort like bodybuilding, martial arts, craftsmanship, public performance, and sports to those that require more mental effort like interpersonal communication, verbal communication, mathematics, strategic warfare, music, problem solving, reading, writing, rehabilitation, and spiritual practice.

We are also able to come up with various means to conduct training exercises such as programmed instructions, computer-assisted instructions, audiovisual techniques, and simulations. Perhaps the reason why all of this became possible is that, as humans, we naturally want to become excellent in the things that we do. And to become excellent in something means that we have to do certain things repeatedly in the form of training exercises. To quote the Greek philosopher, Aristotle:

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”

Of course, it is not enough to just do any kind of training exercise. It is also important that you try to figure out if it’s perfectly appropriate for the skill that you are trying to acquire, whatever that skill may be. With that being said, here are some general guidelines to help you know if you’re using a good training exercise:

1. Training exercises should be individualized. We are all wired differently, both physically and mentally. Any program must be specifically customized for you so that you can meet your goal.

2. Training exercises should be systematized. It will be easier for you to accomplish your goal if your exercises are part of a realistic method that has provided others with verifiable results.

3. Training exercises should be integrated. It should include a variety of exercises that work on flexibility, endurance, balance, strength, power, etc and involve a range of bodily movements.

4. Training exercises should be progressive. Gradual and progressive training is where the difficulty of the exercises is steadily increased over a given period of time. This guarantees sustained effort which then generates a genuine commitment to training.

5. Training exercises should be scheduled. There are certain times of the day when the body can operate at its maximum level. Set these times as your training hours.

6. Training exercises should be distributed. Doing exercises that vary in difficulty and execution is a good way to stimulate the brain and muscles.

7. Training exercises should be repeated frequently. It becomes easier to be able to do something flawlessly the more time you spend doing it or thinking about it.

8. Training exercises may allow the use of tools. Many kinds of physical exercises require the use of tools and equipment to ensure maximum operability of the human body.

9. Training exercises should be context-specific. You must be able to perform it in the environment it was designed for. Doing a butterfly stroke inside a boxing gym isn’t really possible, is it?

10. Training exercises should produce results. You should get some feedback from whatever it is that you are doing. If you’ve been doing an exercise for a very long time and still haven’t seen anything positive come out of it, then you better try something else.

One thing that is perhaps more important than any other reason we have for training ourselves is that we all need to exercise our brains. According to scientists, there is an area of the brain that gets weaker than any other part as our age increases. This area is called the prefrontal cortex.

The prefrontal cortex is known to be involved in carrying out complex cognitive behaviors, decision-making, personality expression, and moderating correct social behavior. In other words, this area of the brain is strongly linked to a person’s general intelligence and personality.

When we train ourselves by performing exercises (physical or mental), the prefrontal cortex in the brain also receives exercise. For that reason, it is extremely necessary that the prefrontal cortex receives ample exercise so that it will remain sharp as we grow old. Without getting enough exercise, the personality may radically change during the later stages of life.

10 Golden Rules To Find and Succeed In Your Niche

2012-01-06T19:11:00.000+08:00

Many of you have probably heard of the word “niche” before. No, this has nothing to do with the 19th-century German philosopher who went bananas during the later part of his life. A niche (pronounced as “nich”), according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is “a place, employment, status, or activity for which a person or thing is best fitted.” In view of that, niche specialization is when people specialize in one thing or another which they are good at.

Finding a niche has been the obsession of many people in civilized societies since time immemorial. In fact, many technologies have been developed and many new discoveries have come out through the increasing specialization in and splitting up of various fields of science. There is no doubt that our society values people who have specialized knowledge.

However, one disadvantage of focusing on your niche is that it may reduce your ability to understand things outside your area of expertise. This is why I don’t particularly advocate specialization. Nevertheless, I thought it would be a good thing to share something I’ve read when I was still also trying to find my niche. Just make sure that you always keep your mind open to other things.

This one is from a book called The 80/20 Principle: The Secret of Achieving More with Less written by Richard Koch. Koch is a former management consultant, entrepreneur, and writer of several books on how to apply the Pareto principle (80/20 rule) in all walks of life. In his book, he outlined what he called 10 Golden Rules for Career Success.

Here’s a summary:

1. Specialize in a very small niche; develop a core skill.

People can be divided into two types: specialists and generalists. Specialists only have a very small area of expertise, but are extremely knowledgeable in that area. Generalists, on the other hand, are those who know a lot of things but cannot be considered as experts in one particular area. If you want to lead the game in a world of increasing competition in business and in life, then niche specialization is probably your best choice.

2. Choose a niche that you enjoy, where you can excel and stand a chance of becoming an acknowledged leader.

If you are already doing something that you get pleasure from, then you should look no further. Choosing a niche is not that difficult as some people might think. Almost any kind of thing we do today can be turned into a niche; whether it’s as mundane as taking care of your pet salamander or as far out as studying subatomic particles. The only thing you should ask yourself is if you are passionate about your choice. Passion fuels your desire for accomplishment, and almost all of those who succeeded within their niches are the one’s who really enjoyed what they were doing, one way or another.

3. Realize that knowledge is power.

Specialization requires that you study your niche thoroughly. Those who command authority in their respective areas of expertise are usually the ones who are knowledgeable than anybody else. Study the things that you consider important in your niche such as your product, the customers who buy it, the technology you need to produce it, the market where you sell it, and so on. If you’re selling ideas instead of material goods, then study every aspect of the subject that you want to specialize on.

4. Identify your market and your core customers and serve them best.

In other words, make them happy. As mentioned above, people (customers) and the place (market) where you can find them is an important consideration when you study your niche. Of course, you should not only study them, but you should also give them the best kind of service you can provide since any kind of profit that you’ll be get will be coming from them.

5. Identify where 20 percent of effort gives 80 percent of returns.

Know what it is that requires less of your time but produces the greater amount of results, and then focus on those tasks. At the same time, determine the tasks that require the greater amount of your time but produces the least amount of results, and then try to do less of those tasks.

6. Learn from the best.

Study the ways of those who are already accomplished in your niche or chosen field of expertise. If given the opportunity, work for them directly so that you can observe the methods they apply which make them effective leaders in their fields or get some firsthand advice, and then practice the things you’ve learned.

7. Become self-employed early in your career.

If you are still working for someone else, use your time wisely and learn as much as you can from your profession. When you are confident enough with the knowledge you’ve gained in your job, then it's time to spread your wings and become self-employed. This will allow you to harvest all the benefits of your hard work and have more freedom to explore other possibilities.

8. Employ as many net value creators as possible.

Once you become self-employed, you will obviously want to hire people who will work for you. According to the author, “it is crucial to hire only net value creators: those whose value comfortably exceeds their cost.” What this means is that you should be able to find talented people who can produce more than what you pay them to do. Of course, aside from the skills they already possess, you might need to train them really well for them to become as effective as you want them to be.

9. Use outside contractors for everything but your core skill.

In order to become effective in your niche, you should be able to concentrate on 20 percent of the tasks that you specialize on then hire other specialists to do the other tasks. If you specialize on creating a certain product, for example, then you should use third parties to do the marketing, advertising, packaging, and selling for you. This will allow you to stay focused on your niche and keep it on top of your competitors.

10. Exploit capital leverage.

Use your money to buy tools and machines if it’s more cost effective to use them than manual labor. This allows you to gain more profit from your work while at the same time keeping the number of employees on your payroll at a minimum.

Reference

Koch, Richard (1998). The 80/20 Principle: The Secret of Achieving More with Less. Doubleday.

11 Memory Improving Methods and Devices

2012-01-05T04:08:00.000+08:00

People in ancient times wrote highly important stuff they wanted to commit to memory on stone tablets. In this day and age, having unlimited access to valuable information is no longer an issue. We now have tablet PCs through which we can even enter social networking sites to observe our moral obligations. However, there seems to be a little bit of problem with this picture.

If you haven’t noticed, human memory is immediately being transcended by computer memory. We’re being left behind while the processing speed and memory capacity of our electronic devices are growing at an exponential rate. A day will probably come when not only chess-playing computers will be capable of outsmarting humans, but also small electronic kitchen appliances.

Kidding aside, being able to remember things is crucial for many people. Perhaps you are one of them since you’re reading this. When you are trying to commit something to memory, it may be helpful to also keep in mind these four basic principles about how we remember things.

A memory that is more significant and meaningful is easier to recall.
Any item or event that triggers strong emotional responses is very hard to forget.
It becomes easier to remember something the more time you spend processing (thinking about) it.
Anything that stands out or unique in some way from other things is easier to recall.

If these principles are not enough, here are some memory improving methods and devices that you may also try:

1. Affective Memory – Primarily used by actors to learn their lines and roles quickly. This method basically involves associating things with highly emotional personal memories so that the process of recollection would be much easier.

2. Anuloma Viloma – Many claim that yogic breathing techniques like anuloma viloma (alternate nostril breathing) can help in improving memory.

3. Binaural Beats – The use of sounds that influence brainwave patterns through a process called entrainment. Some people claim this could help improve memory and learning.

4. Isochronic Tones – Regular beats of a single tone that function more or less like binaural beats although some people say these are more effective.

5. Meditation – An ancient method used by spiritual seekers that can actually enhance concentration and memory.

6. Method of Loci - A technique used to remember a large number of things. Here you use a familiar house/building or an imaginary one and then assign each topic to a room. You can assign subtopics to the items you can find in the room. You can also imagine being on a journey and placing items you want to remember along the way.

7. Mind Maps – Popularized by author and consultant, Tony Buzan, a mind map is a diagram used to represent words, ideas, tasks, or other items linked to and arranged around a central key word or idea.

8. Mnemonic Link System – Used for remembering a list of items. The technique involves creating memorable links between two items so that when you think of one item, the other one can be easily recalled.

9. Nootropics – Are modern drugs, supplements, nutraceuticals, and functional foods that help in improving mental functions such as cognition, memory, intelligence, motivation, attention, and concentration. Be careful when using this as you may experience many side effects.

10. Psychedelic Drugs – These chemicals are often used in therapeutic settings because they can allow a person to relive and experience past memories in stunning and dramatic detail. You shouldn’t take these drugs if you have an exam.

11. Traditional Herbs – Various kinds of traditional herbs can be used to stabilize mood and prevent stress, which is an effective way to positively increase brain performance.

10 Good Reasons For Practicing Mindfulness Meditation

2012-01-04T01:16:00.000+08:00

Mindfulness meditation is a type of Buddhist meditative practice designed to specifically develop concentration and deep awareness of two aspects of the human personality. The first aspect covers the physical body, which involves the various behaviors and sensations that we can observe in ourselves. The second focuses on the cognitive processes that take place in the mind, which includes our thoughts and perceptions. One of the most common techniques used by Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike in this practice is called mindfulness meditation on the breath (anapanasati).

Many modern scientists in different branches of psychology are incorporating the practice of mindfulness in their rehabilitation and therapeutic procedures for certain types of mental disorders, and it’s easy to see why.

Here are the reasons:

1. Mindfulness provides insight into the hidden structure of the body and mind.

The body and mind are the fundamental properties that make us who we are. If you think about it, many of us don’t really pay attention to the things we do from moment to moment like the way we eat, stand, walk, talk, write, sit, drink, breathe, think, and so forth.

Mindfulness meditation allows us to isolate the areas where we are having issues with by giving us knowledge of the structure of our own personality. By developing a sense of awareness of our behavior, sensations, thoughts, and perceptions, we get a great deal of information about their quality and how they affect the way we live our lives.

2. Mindfulness gives awareness of the relationship of our own thoughts and perceptions.

The way we think can influence how we perceive the world. Optimistic people, for example, see positive things all around them; pessimists only see the negativity. Equally, what we perceive in our environment can also influence the way we think like when you suddenly become afraid of the dark after watching a very convincing horror movie.

Our thoughts (memories, desires, and beliefs) and perceptions (information that pass through our senses) are dynamic and interrelated parts of the mind. Through mindfulness meditation, we are able to see the hidden relationships of these elements (positive and negative), and this awareness gives us the opportunity to elicit changes in our thought patterns.

3. Mindfulness provides insight into the relationship of our thoughts and behavior.

Our beliefs and desires give rise to our behavior. Consequently, our behavior provides feedback and this information is what reinforces these thoughts although the process goes by unnoticed most of the time. An example of a belief is the statement, “I want to eat chocolates because they say it makes you feel good.” Eating the chocolate is the behavior. The resulting sensation (feedback) that it gives you consequently produces and reinforces thinking patterns in your mind.

We acquire our habits and tendencies, whether these things are of a constructive or destructive nature, through the hidden relationship of our thoughts and behavior. Mindfulness meditation helps us become aware and understand the feedback loops that make us repeat many of the disruptive things that we do.

4. Mindfulness provides opportunity for intervention in patterns of disruptive behavior.

Once you develop a deep awareness and understanding of your thoughts, perceptions, behavior, and sensations (feelings), it becomes easier to convince yourself of the need to eliminate the negative patterns in the structure of your own personality. With this kind of awareness, you can then decide to intervene at certain points in negative behavioral patterns that you observe in yourself.

So let’s say you are addicted to eating chocolates, instead of the old pattern (thinking of chocolate -> eat chocolate -> feel good -> eat more & gain calories -> become fat -> feel insecure), you can then change that with something like (thinking of chocolate -> makes me fat; not good -> exercise to lose calories -> feel good -> gain confidence).

5. Mindfulness enables you to create further plans for intervention.

With improved awareness, you can then begin to sort out and systematize the way you intervene in the patterns of your own thinking and behavior. When you dedicate more time in your meditation practice, you’ll be able to see more hidden disruptive patterns in your personality and this gives you a chance to come up with better ways to change them. In Buddhist psychology, disruptive patterns in thinking and behavior are treated as hindrances to spiritual development. One of the primary goals of Buddhists who practice mindfulness meditation is to get rid of these hindrances. (See the five hindrances to meditation.)

6. Mindfulness allows you to target patterns that are easily changeable but produces the highest degree of change.

Through consistent practice, you’ll be able to identify key areas in your thinking and behavior patterns where even a slight amount of change is enough to cause a significant amount of improvement. In the example I gave earlier, adding a simple script such as “makes me fat; not good” can prompt you to take a different course of action every time you think about eating chocolates. That’s just an example, of course.

7. Mindfulness provides access to deeply-rooted thought and behavior patterns.

Our deeply-rooted thought and behavior patterns are invisible to us. Practicing mindfulness is just like shooting a video of yourself the whole day and then playing it back afterwards to observe every bit of movement you’ve done or words you’ve spoken. The only difference is that with mindfulness, you’re doing the shooting and the play back simultaneously. You’ll be surprised at what you will discover.

8. Mindfulness allows rearrangement and control of your thought patterns.

More advanced practitioners get to the point where they are able to control their own thoughts. This is where it gets a little bit far out. You can learn about this from written accounts in Buddhist literature about monks and yogis who are able to withstand long hours or even days of uninterrupted meditation practice.

9. Mindfulness can be practiced anywhere.

One of the great features of mindfulness meditation is that you can practice it at any given time, place, and setting. You don’t need to sit down for long hours alone in a room or in a forest to do it. The technique is actually quite simple; you focus on your breath and do whatever it is that you need to do. When you become distracted, that’s ok. Just take note of the distraction without becoming attached to it then go back to focusing on your breath. Of course, practicing in isolation in a sitting position is more advantageous.

10. Mindfulness enables you to enter higher states of consciousness.

Advanced meditators who are able to gain a high degree of control over their minds are able to reach higher states of consciousness. If you reach this stage, you may begin to have transpersonal experiences. In the Buddhist tradition, these experiences may include the attainment of the four jhanas, knowledge of one’s previous lives, insight knowledge, and enlightenment.

25 Ways To Find Happiness

2012-01-02T07:09:00.000+08:00

So another year has arrived and many of us are about to spend the rest of it vehemently searching for that elusive thing we call “happiness.” Instead of greeting everyone, which is a very old ritual that doesn’t really do anything of great impact, I thought about starting the year by sharing with you some of the things I’ve learned in life. I hope that in some way, it can help you find what you are looking for. Just pick the ones that apply to you.

"What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the ordinary man seeks is in others."
- Confucius

1. Associate with happy people. It is not only misery that loves company, but happiness as well. We like to infect other people with our thoughts because thoughts and ideas ― just like genes ― replicate in order to survive. Happy folks carry happy thoughts. Stick with them if you want to be infected with happiness.

2. Be kind to strangers. In my country, it's not hard to find beggars and mentally challenged individuals roaming the streets or even normal people who just need some kind of assistance. Many of you probably don’t believe in karma, which I’ve written a lot of times before. According to Buddhists, wholesome actions, like random acts of kindness, produce merit, which contributes to a person’s spiritual growth. Whenever you see others who are in need, take the opportunity to spread happiness by showing kindness. Karma comes back around, and often in mysterious ways.

3. Commit yourself to an ideal. People who engage in some kind of positive cause may find happiness even when they make small accomplishments. They also find inspiration from the challenges they encounter and the people who share the same cause with them.

4. Do good, look good, feel good. This is a military slogan outside a camp I passed through each and every day when I was in college. If you do something that is of benefit to other people, then you don’t even need to worry about what others think about your appearance. You’ll be a hero in their eyes. Of course, some folks are more demanding and there's always a limit to the kind of service we can give to others. But, in any case, doing something good to others and appearing at your best are definite ways to make you feel happy.

5. Do something creative. Looking forward to bringing something new to existence can elicit a powerful release of energy we don’t experience in our normal day-to-day activities. Have you ever had that rush of excitement when a brilliant idea suddenly pops inside your head?

6. Find your belief system. It can be religious, philosophical, or even scientific. Sometimes, people get lost in life because they don’t have a structural framework from which they can understand reality. Belief systems are also like companies with people (tech support) who can provide you with assistance in times of great need.

7. Keep yourself busy. It may not allow you to experience profound states of happiness, but it’s enough to keep your mind continuously occupied and away from boredom and loneliness. Going out with friends, living an active life, focusing on your work, and travelling are just some of the things you can do to keep yourself busy.

8. Learn to let go. Try to forgive those who have sinned against you (like in the prayer) and stop ruminating about those things you have lost. Being attached to these things is what creates the tension and stress in your life. If you can find the necessary force to break those bonds, then you’ll feel much lighter… like an angel.

9. Learn to meditate. People who practice meditation can enter profound states of consciousness where they can experience equally profound states of happiness and bliss. In Buddhism, these are called jhanas.

10. Live in quiet contemplation. There are many people in this world such as philosophers, scientists, monks, and spiritual seekers who are happy with the company of their own thoughts. For these people, happiness comes from the profound insight they gain from living such a life.

11. Live with integrity. Our conscience may sometimes prove to be worse than a brutally nagging mother-in-law. A major cause of unhappiness is doing things that contradict our values and beliefs. If you don’t want your conscience to punish you incessantly, examine your values and beliefs then act on what you think is right and avoid those things that you believe are wrong.

12. Pay attention to yourself. As humans, we have the tendency to find meaningful patterns in our environment. Scientists actually develop and use this skill to the extreme. However, we rarely use this on ourselves. This may take time to develop, but if you can make it a habit to notice just one aspect of yourself each day, eventually you’ll progress and be able to know more about who or what you really are.

13. Act as if you are happy. When we do something that opposes our belief about ourselves, we experience cognitive dissonance (anxiety caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously). To remove the discomfort, we either change our behavior or change our belief. When you keep on acting as if you are happy even if you are not, you will eventually abandon the previous belief and accept the new behavior, i.e. being happy.

14. Re-examine your desires. Everything that we do is the result of the desires we create; whether we are consciously aware of them or not. Think about the things you previously thought would bring you happiness and determine if they did, in fact, give you what you wished for. If the end result is negative, maybe it’s about time that you change it to something else.

15. Show some affection. Any display of affection can make you feel better about yourself. You also make the other person happy. Personally, I live a contemplative life and rarely go outside, so I don’t get to show my affection to a lot of people. However, I do get to hug my daughter each and every day, and that is something even Mastercard can’t ever buy.

16. Specialize in one particular subject. Many experts are socially valued and considered as leaders in their respective fields. Authority, self-confidence, and knowledge are the key elements that give happiness to people who acquire skills and expertise in an area that they are passionate about and enjoy studying.

17. Exercise and diet; to stay healthy. Health and happiness always come together. Being healthy is the positive state of the physical body while being happy is the positive state of the mind. Some people I know actually make a living trying to make not only themselves but also other people healthy. (Hitting two birds with one stone, I suppose.)

18. Study. When we study, we employ ourselves completely, not just the rational brain. We can study by reading books, attending lectures, or engaging in all sorts of activities for experience. People who are serious about studying usually make use of a number of different methods.

19. Take up a hobby. You’ll get to learn new things with it and meet a lot of like-minded people. Many of my friends and relatives do all sorts of things that they treat as their hobby (having a band, riding their bikes with friends, playing games on the internet, collecting items, and other mundane stuff). Sometimes I can’t believe it, but it does make them happy.

20. Visit old friends/places. Sometimes when we are exposed to threat, depressed, restless, or generally unhappy, the sight of familiar people, objects, or places is enough to help us restore positive feelings.

21. Write your experiences. Writing can be therapeutic. It let’s you document and relive those precious moments of joy and happiness. It can also allow you transfer the negative thoughts from your mind to your paper (or whatever medium you use to express yourself).

22. Take care of your needs. Sometimes, all we need to do to find happiness is to make sure our basic needs are taken care of such as health, food, sleep, shelter, safety, love & affection, belonging, and self-esteem.

23. Be thankful. People who are surprisingly grateful for whatever they have (large or small) are noticeably happier than those who are not. Expressing gratitude allows you to directly speak to your subconscious telling it that everything is perfectly ok.

24. Chillax and take a break. When I was still studying music, there were times when I would find myself stuck in a rut (doing the same things over and over again without any progress). I just focused on learning theories and techniques that I forgot what it’s like to just play. Being creative doesn’t work that way. Lesson learned: take a breath of fresh air.

25. Laughter & a sense of humor. You can also try moving like Jagger.

Handling a Spiritual Crisis after a Transpersonal Experience

2011-12-31T05:22:00.000+08:00

People who perform spiritual practices, take psychoactive substances for recreational use, or experiment with any other form of mind altering procedures and devices sometimes have what is called transpersonal experiences. Every now and then, I receive email messages from such people who share their experiences with me asking for clarification and advice on some issues they are having.

Due to this, I’ve decided to write this article so that it would be easier for me to squeeze together information that would otherwise take several exchanges in communication to get across.

Why do people want to have Transpersonal Experiences?

People have all sorts of reasons for trying to induce transpersonal experiences. These may include the following:

to achieve spiritual enlightenment,
to enter states of meditative absorption,
to attain occult/spiritual powers,
to gain deep insight into the nature of things,
to break free from social and personal limitations,
to have a new sense of awareness,
to have peace of mind, or
to acquire creative ideas.

Of course, there are also badly informed folks who try to attain these experiences for reasons such as peer pressure, simple curiosity, malicious intentions, and so forth. In some cases, however, transpersonal experiences happen to others unexpectedly and with no apparent cause. C'est la vie!

What’s the relationship of belief systems and Transpersonal Experiences?

Belief systems serve as support structures during a spiritual crisis, which may happen after entry into profound states of consciousness. They also provide the theoretical framework through which the different types of transpersonal experiences may be understood. Religion, science, and philosophy are different types of belief systems.

Religion, for example, plays a very important role in most cultures. For thousands of years, people generally go through transpersonal experiences within traditional and/or religious settings such as in native healing practices, sacred rituals in aboriginal tribes, rites of passage, and trance ceremonies in occult societies.

People derive psychoactive substances called entheogens from plants and use them in ritualized contexts to induce transpersonal experiences, but there are also those who lead ascetic lives and utilize techniques that allow them to reach altered states of consciousness without using mind altering substances.

What is a Spiritual Crisis?

Transpersonal experiences may offer you feelings of bliss and visionary states, but it may also take you on a trip to hell, which can drive you into perpetual madness if you don’t know what you are doing. When you experience symptoms of mental illness such as panic attacks, seizures, hallucinations, phobias, anxiety, or depression, it is possible that you are having what is called a spiritual crisis (also called "spiritual emergency").

The purpose of having a transpersonal experience, ideally, is for spiritual development, liberation, healing, or revelation. Instructions on how to attain these experiences were transmitted verbally (like in the guru-to-disciple relationship) to protect and preserve traditional knowledge, but after the arrival of the printing press (and also the Internet) almost anyone can have access to such information. Those who neglect or don’t understand the necessity of having a belief system are often the ones who don't know what to do or get into trouble during a spiritual crisis.

What should you do after having a Transpersonal Experience?

Transpersonal experiences may vary from person to person. They can be classified into different types, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will have the same experience as the one described by someone else. Ultimately, you will have to rely on your own interpretation of your experience for internalization. The Free Your Mind page contains articles that can help you with this.

If you think that you are going through a spiritual crisis after having a transpersonal experience, the first thing that you should do is to stop whatever it is that you are doing. If you are taking psychedelic drugs without proper guidance, lay off the chemicals until you figure out what is happening to you. If the symptoms you are having are too much for you to bear, then you will have to check with a specialist. When I say specialist, I’m not referring to psychiatrists or health care professionals who don’t particularly handle such cases. If you consult with the wrong people, they may either inject you with all sorts of drugs which will only worsen your situation or lock you up once they conclude that you’re really out of your mind and there’s nothing else that can help you. If there are specialists that practice psychedelic therapy in your country, they are the ones who are most likely capable of helping you with your problem.

Those who practice meditation or any other form of drug-free techniques will usually have a teacher who can assist them in such situations. Teachers typically give further instructions once they know that it is safe for their student to continue. All the same, your mind and body is undergoing profound changes and one of the best things you can possibly do is to take some time off to reflect on your experience (preferably alone as your mind is very open to suggestions in times like this).

For those who practice alone, please know that it is very important for you to inform yourself. A good student of the path is one who questions everything and does his/her own research. Listed below are some books that you may want to check out. A must read is Stanislav Grof's Spiritual Emergency: When Personal Transformation Becomes A Crisis.

Lastly, try your best not to lose your grip. It may seem awesome and far out that you can do or know all sorts of things when you are out of your body or whatever, but you still do have a body. As John C. Lilly once said, “In the province of the body, there are definite limits not to be transcended."

Suggested Reading

Capriles, Elias (2007). Beyond Being, Beyond Mind, Beyond History: Dzogchen, Western Philosophy and Transpersonal Psychology (3 vols.). Venezuela: Mérida.
Grof, Stanislav & Grof, Christina (1989). Spiritual Emergency: When Personal Transformation Becomes A Crisis. Tarcher
Grof, Stanislav (1975). Realms Of The Human Unconscious: Observations From LSD Research. New York: Viking.
Krishna, Gopi (1970). Kundalini: The Evolutionary Energy in Man. Boston: Shambhala Books.
Leary, Timothy. et.al. (1964). The Psychedelic Experience: A manual based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Citadel Press
Lilly, John C. (1977). The Deep Self: Profound Relaxation and the Tank Isolation Technique. New York: Simon and Schuster.
Sayadaw, Mahasi (1994). The Progress of Insight: (Visuddhiñana-katha). Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society
Strassman, Rick J. (2001). DMT: The Spirit Molecule. A Doctor's Revolutionary Research into the Biology of Near-Death and Mystical Experiences. Rochester, Vt: Park Street.
Turner, D.M. (1994). The Essential Psychedelic Guide. San Francisco: Panther Press.

26 Transpersonal Experiences in Higher States of Consciousness

2011-12-29T22:25:00.000+08:00

Transpersonal experiences are more commonly known and often referred to as spiritual, mystical, religious, occult, magical, or paranormal experiences. The word transpersonal refers to transcendence of the ordinary boundaries of personality (Grof, 1989). Transpersonal experiences may be induced by various methods and techniques such as meditation, sensory deprivation, yoga, kundalini practices, mindfulness of breathing, pranayama, psychedelic therapy, ritual ingestion of entheogens, brainwave entrainment, visualization, mantras, hypnosis, and many others.

The scientific field that studies these experiences is called transpersonal psychology. Stanislav Grof is one of the founders of the field of transpersonal psychology and a pioneering researcher into the use of altered states of consciousness for purposes of healing, growth, and insight.

In his book called Realms Of The Human Unconscious: Observations From LSD Research, Grof classified twenty six types of transpersonal experiences based on his observations while conducting research on LSD and its effects on human patients.

Here’s a short description of those experiences:

1. Embryonal and Fetal Experiences – these involve the reliving of memories of specific events in the maternal womb, typically in stunning and dramatic detail. Experiences may vary from traumatizing events to being in a continuous state of bliss or joy.

2. Ancestral Experiences – the subjects report gaining access to information about their biological ancestors reaching back many generations and centuries or in more recent times. The experiences generally correspond to a person’s racial and cultural background.

3. Collective and Racial Experiences – involve visions and insights into the various aspects of cultural groups such as history, social structure, religious cosmology, forms of worship, moral code, art, and technology.

4. Phylogenetic (Evolutionary) Experiences – involve regression into the past and insights into the evolutionary development of animals such as insects, mammals, birds, reptiles, and various species of sea creatures. Subjects reported gaining an intuitive understanding of Darwinian or Lamarckian concepts of evolution.

5. Past-Incarnation Experiences – are fragmented visions of scenes and individual events or a full reliving of experiences in one’s previous lives. Although one may experience being in another form, place, and time, individual identity is not lost.

6. Precognition, Clairvoyance, Clairaudience, and “Time Travels” – the subjects reported being able to perceive events far into the future or into the past, see objects and hear sounds from vast distances, and travel through time at will.

7. Ego Transcendence in Interpersonal Relations and the Experience of Dual Unity – the subjects reported experiences of merging with another person like the therapist, a family member, and so on while still maintaining their individual identity. These experiences may evoke deep feelings of love and sacredness.

8. Identification with Other Persons – an individual experiences herself as another person and may completely lose her own identity. The person experiencing this may identify with relatives or other people (often well-known) both in the past and in the present.

9. Group Identification and Group Consciousness – an individual identifies with an entire group of people. Some examples given were groups like the victims of the Spanish Inquisition, prisoners of Nazi concentration camps, tortured Jews and Christians, people joining the Islamic pilgrimage to Mecca, Hindus worshipping at the Ganges River, and many others.

10. Animal Identification – an individual experiences what it is like to be an animal, but unlike phylogenetic (evolutionary) experiences, the person does not regress into the past and there are no Darwinian-like or Lamarckian-like processes witnessed.

11. Plant Identification – an individual identifies with different species of plants and experiences what it is like to be in the here and now, have direct contact with the four elements (earth, water, fire, wind), bring beauty to the surroundings, transform cosmic energy into useful resource for food, and nourish other forms of life unselfishly. (Sounds nice to be a plant. Hmm.)

12. Oneness with Life and with All Creation – identification with all forms of life on the planet and insight into the fundamental laws of nature.

13. Consciousness of Inorganic Matter – an individual gains insight into macroscopic and microscopic phenomena of non-living things such as the ocean, fire, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, windstorms, computers, jets, diamond, gold, steel, atoms, electromagnetic forces, and so on.

14. Planetary Consciousness – an individual gains insight into the nature of the entire planet including the different aspects of its geological, biological, cultural, and technological development.

15. Extraplanetary Consciousness – are experiences involving phenomena outside the planet Earth. These may include observations of other planets, satellites, solar systems, supernovas, quasars, black holes, etc. Subjects who have studied mathematics and physics have reported gaining intuitive understanding of complex theories and principles of time and space.

16. Out-of-Body Experiences, Traveling Clairvoyance and Clairaudience, “Space Travels,” and Telepathy – the individual feels that he can read other people’s minds, go beyond the usual limitations of time and space, and go out of the body to travel at will to any location that one chooses.

17. Organ, Tissue, and Cellular Consciousness – one experiences tuning in to the consciousness of the different parts of the body (muscles, organs, tissues, etc.) which can extend all the way to cellular and subcellular levels.

18. Spiritistic and Mediumistic Experiences – one may experience phenomena similar to those found in occult writings such as glossolalia (speaking in tongues), automatic writing, encounters with astral bodies or spirits of deceased persons, spirit possession, mediumistic trance states, etc.

19. Experiences of Encounters with Suprahuman Spiritual Entities – an individual may encounter and interact with spirit guides, religious teachers, and enlightened beings like buddhas and saints.

20. Experiences of Other Universes and Encounters with Their Inhabitants – an individual finds herself in strange extradimensional realities with entities that appear in strange physical forms and operate in unintelligible ways.

21. Archetypal Experiences and Complex Mythological Sequences – an individual experiences visions of archetypal and mythological figures like those found in the writings of analytical psychologist, Carl Jung, and comparative mythologist, Joseph Campbell.

22. Experiences of Encounters with Various Deities – an individual experiences visions of benevolent and malevolent deities (gods and goddesses) like the ones described in various cultures and religions (Hindu, Buddhist, Greek, Egyptian, Mesoamerican, and so on).

23. Intuitive Understanding of Universal Symbols – an individual experiences visions of universal symbols and insight into the various levels of their meaning. Some examples are the cross, star of David, swastika, Nile cross, lotus flower, yin-yang, Shiva lingam, and so on.

24. Activation of the Chakras and Arousal of the Serpent Power (Kundalini) – these experiences involve the release of energy from the individual chakras of the body. According to Grof:

“Kundalini yoga bears the closest resemblance to LSD psychotherapy. Both techniques mediate an instant and enormous release of energy, produce profound and dramatic experiences, and can bring impressive results in a relatively short time. On the other hand, they involve the greatest risk and can be quite dangerous if they are not practiced under careful supervision and responsible guidance.”

25. Consciousness of the Universal Mind – an individual experiences the boundless, supreme, unfathomable, ineffable, transcendental, non-rational, infinitely blissful, formless, dimensionless, and ultimate principle of being, i.e., the consciousness of the Universal Mind.

26. The Supracosmic and Metacosmic Void – Grof described this as “the primordial emptiness, nothingness, and silence, which is the ultimate source and cradle of all existence.”

Reference

Grof, Stanislav (1975). Realms Of The Human Unconscious: Observations From LSD Research. New York: Viking.
Grof, Stanislav & Grof, Christina (1989). Spiritual Emergency: When Personal Transformation Becomes A Crisis. Tarcher

Please be reminded that many psychoactive substances such as LSD are illegal in most countries. If ever they are legal, only licensed professionals are permitted to administer them for research and treatment use. I have written tons of articles that could help you reach higher consciousness states using techniques that don’t rely on the use of any kind of substance. I’m not an advocate of unsupervised and uncontrolled use of psychedelics as you will understand when you read my next post regarding spiritual crisis. If the experiences listed above inspire you to explore the realms of the unconscious, try practicing meditation (not only is it legal, but it’s also free).

10 Models We Use To Create Our Reality

2011-12-27T08:00:00.000+08:00

Many philosophers and scientists say that the meaning we apply to the things we experience in the external world does not solely rely on the signals that pass through the senses, but also on previous experiences already processed and incorporated by the nervous system and turned into models of what we call “reality.” In other words, what we are able to observe is not reality itself, but rather reality interpreted and altered by our subjective knowledge, which varies from one person to another.

There is a well-known story of Hui-neng, a well-respected Buddhist monk, who one day happened to be passing by two monks. The monks were in disagreement about the temple flag waving in the wind. The first one said, "The flag moves." The other said, "The wind moves." They argued back and forth but could not agree. Hui-neng said, "Dudes, it is neither the wind nor the flag that moves; it is your mind that moves." The two monks were struck with awe.

Undeniably, reality does not freely divulge its deep secrets to us. So to make sense of this apparently complex world, the human nervous system automatically creates internal models that help us interpret the various signals we receive from our environment.

The following are just some examples of these models. They can partially or completely alter the meaning of the signals we receive and their effect on our behavior, feelings, and thoughts. By learning about these models, you gain the ability to better understand not only the way you make sense of the world, but also how other people construct their own realities.

1. Belief models – include the values, ethical rules, cultural norms, and religious doctrines that we acquire from our society. These models serve as scripts/instructions about how members of a particular group or population should behave.

2. Causal models – are the set of ideas we use to explain the cause and effect relationship of the things around us and to predict future events. They tell us why people do what they do and why things happen. We start to form our causal models at a very early age either by direct experience or by accepting ideas from others.

3. Conceptual models – are the mental images that we form inside our heads. They can either be concrete concepts (tangible stuff that we see around us) like a car, people on the streets, buildings, etc. or abstract concepts such as joy, sorrow, love, hate, and so on.

4. Functional models – are what we use to easily repeat or imitate various behaviors be it as simple as designing/building a rocket or as complex as making our women happy. Functional models typically involve a series of steps. First do this, then do this, and so on.

5. Geographic models – these are internal maps of our external environment. In order to move around, we have to know what our world looks like, so we form internal images of the lands, features, inhabitants, and events that we can see here on Earth. When you feel surprised, astonished, or frightened after finding yourself in an unfamiliar place, that simply means you haven’t created a map for that environment yet so you don’t know what to expect.

6. Personality models – are the models of personality that we use to distinguish the characteristics of the people around us. The word "personality" comes from the Latin persona, which means mask. In psychology, people have classified broad domains or dimensions of personality such as the Five Factor Model (openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism) to describe individuals. Personality models turn into stereotypes when we classify people based on harsh or uninformed assumptions.

7. Mathematical models – these are the models that people use to measure, estimate, simulate, or control any given system in the physical world. People who are very good at creating and using mathematical models are like sorcerers. They use all sorts of formulas and invoke spirits of dead people to create magical stuff.

8. Science models – are field specific (biology, chemistry, physics, etc.) but they do have a basic connection with mathematical models in the sense that they are based on certain laws and principles. People who are very good at creating and using science models are like high priests. They tell us stuff we typically don’t understand.

9. Spatial models – are what we use to help us determine the location of objects we see in three-dimensional space. We can also use these models for objects we cannot see like when the lights are turned off in your room and yet you still know where to reach your cell phone. According to some sorcerers and high priests, there are other dimensions in space (4D, 5D, 11D, etc.) that we are unable to perceive, but actually do exist.

10. Time models – tell us how long certain events take place in three-dimensional space. People with unique skills can integrate their time models with their causal, functional, conceptual, and mathematical models to demonstrate omniscient-like capabilities in activities like construction, politics, war, commerce, and even gambling.

One of the many reasons why people fight over their differences is that they get trapped in the models of reality they have formed for themselves. Breaking out of the bubble requires some effort, but if only we can all take the time to understand how we create our own realities, then perhaps we will stop hating and killing each other, yes?

The Century of the Self

2011-12-12T23:41:00.000+08:00

Philosopher Immanuel Kant once wrote, “There will always be some people who think for themselves, even among the self-appointed guardians of the great mass who, after having thrown off the yoke of immaturity themselves, will spread about them the spirit of a reasonable estimate of their own value and of the need for every man to think for himself.” Yes, of course. The sad thing is that the number of people who don’t think for themselves will always be greater... for various reasons.

THE CENTURY OF THE SELF

Abstract:

Adam Curtis' acclaimed series examines the rise of the all-consuming self against the backdrop of the Freud dynasty. To many in both politics and business, the triumph of the self is the ultimate expression of democracy, where power has finally moved to the people. Certainly the people may feel they are in charge, but are they really?

The Century of the Self tells the untold and sometimes controversial story of the growth of the mass-consumer society in Britain and the United States. How was the all-consuming self created, by whom, and in whose interests?

The Freud dynasty is at the heart of this compelling social history. Sigmund Freud, founder of psychoanalysis; Edward Bernays, who invented public relations; Anna Freud, Sigmund's devoted daughter; and present-day PR guru and Sigmund's great grandson, Matthew Freud.

Sigmund Freud's work into the bubbling and murky world of the subconscious changed the world. By introducing a technique to probe the unconscious mind, Freud provided useful tools for understanding the secret desires of the masses. Unwittingly, his work served as the precursor to a world full of political spin doctors, marketing moguls, and society's belief that the pursuit of satisfaction and happiness is man's ultimate goal.

Trailer:

Click Here for The Century Of The Self-Full Length Documentary

How To Take Control of Your Life With More Will Power

2011-12-01T09:12:00.000+08:00

There were many times in the past when I was almost driven to insanity by this question: "Am I free to choose the things that I want to happen in my life or is everything already determined and there is nothing else that I can do about it?” Many unmindful, unreflective people out there don’t bother with questions like this, but that’s all right. That makes life easier for them to live through, I suppose.

But what about those who are compelled to search for an explanation? If you are one, should you allow yourself to drown in despondence for the mere fact that you chance upon tragic and agonizing circumstances from time to time that somehow forces you to abandon and declare as untrue the notion that you have any kind of stake in this game we call life?

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” This is what Socrates said when he tried to defend himself in court against his accusers who charged him with “corrupting the youth” and “not believing in the gods in whom the city believes.”

So now, allow me to corrupt you by asking you these questions:

• Do we really have free will?
• If yes, then how can we use it to direct our lives towards the path that we choose?

What Is Will?

Will is a very broad term, and many psychologists and philosophers have written about it and contributed their own views about what it is and how it works. A few notable theories about will were presented by thinkers such as Friedrich Nietzsche (the will to power), Arthur Schopenhauer (the will to live), Victor Frankl (the will to meaning), Sigmund Freud (the will to pleasure), and myself (the will to get on people’s nerves).

To make things simple, will is the act or an instance of making a conscious choice or decision. It is a faculty or set of abilities that give way to the complex mental events involved in executing our actions. Modern-day philosophers have made will synonymous with ordinary mental phenomena such as desires, beliefs, volitions, or intentions.

Do We Really Have Free Will?

Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden (Image Credit: Jonathan Linczak)

As I mentioned earlier, I almost became a nutcase trying to find an answer to this question. When I tried to examine the biological, psychological, environmental, moral, cultural, and even spiritual factors that influence all the choices we make in each and every moment of our lives, it seemed to indicate that everything we do is not causally determined by our own selves.

There’s just too many of these factors that influence our decisions. So many, in fact, that I immediately tagged anyone as an idiot if he/she asserted that we are conscious beings who have the freedom to live life the way we want to by making our own choices. We have no choice. It’s either that things happen to us through random chance or everything is already determined and happens according to some “hidden” plan.

I didn’t realize that I was the idiot because I kept on believing that there was absolutely no answer to the question. To quote one of my favorite authors, Robert Anton Wilson:

“Only the madman is absolutely sure.”

But then the Buddha told me something that cleared away my confusion. He said:

“Something is such (tathya), is not such, is both such and not such, and is neither such and not such.”

The Buddha’s view was non-dualist. From a non-dualist point of view, we have freedom in our actions, but our actions are also determined by our fate. Quite perplexing, isn’t it? To make it even more bewildering, the Buddha adds that there is no doer, agent, soul, or self that is doing the deed. He states that, “In seeing, there is just seeing. No seer and nothing seen. In hearing, there is just hearing. No hearer and nothing heard.”

To better understand this position, check out my articles regarding Dependent Origination and the Three Marks of Existence.

In Buddhist thought, the notion that we are completely free to make any choice (absolute freedom) is incorrect because it denies the reality of the biological, psychological, environmental, moral, cultural, and even spiritual factors that affect our lives. However, the notion that we absolutely have no choice in life or that our lives are pre-determined is also incorrect. To claim that we have no freedom is to claim that we cannot make any effort to change our behavior and ways of thinking so that we could live better lives. The best thing that we can do is to avoid holding either of these views (applying the Middle Way), and instead start trying to change our lives by seeking true happiness then see what happens. Fair enough for me.

Understanding Your Choices

Click here if you can’t view the video.

In this scene, Neo begins to have doubts about his freedom to choose (free will). His conversation with the Oracle in this movie and in the first Matrix film gives him the impression that all of his choices – like sitting down or taking a candy – are determined by something or someone else as the Oracle seems to have figured out what he’s going to do even before he decides to do it (determinism). He therefore asks the Oracle how could it be possible for him to make a choice. The Oracle tells him that he didn’t really come there to make a choice because he already made it. Instead, he came to understand “why” he made it.

It is often easy for us to fall into two extremes: believing that things happen to us by chance or believing that our life is governed by our fate. In the scene that you just saw, the Oracle explains to Neo that what happens in the present is merely a product of the decisions he made in the past. It is really us who makes our decisions, sometimes consciously but most of the time unconsciously, which is why we often don’t understand the things that happen to us. Our perplexity could be the result of our poor memory, limited perception, lack of insight and self-awareness, or basically that thing that we call ignorance.

Bringing Socrates and Buddha back into the picture, part of their solution to eliminate ignorance is self-examination. The task of recollecting all that we have been doing up to the present is perhaps difficult for most of us, but if we simply pay attention to everything that we are doing now and why we are doing it, we can exercise control over our will and this is what gives us genuine freedom of choice. It doesn’t really matter if you have made numerous bad choices in the past. Actually, the result of those choices can help you decide what you should do in the present. To quote Arthur Bishop (Jason Statham) in the movie called The Mechanic, "Good decisions come from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad decisions."

Strengthening Your Will

Now we get to the main point. How can we have a stronger will power so that we can use it to direct our own lives? It’s pretty simple, actually. If the human body is your hardware and culture is your operating system, the will is just one of your applications/programs. Running several programs on your computer simultaneously slows it down. Here’s what you can do to make it run faster.

Eliminate thoughts one by one. Less thought gives you more control.
Eliminate your desires one by one. A favorite author of mine once said, “As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be, you can't see how it is.”
Chillax. Allow your mind to settle down so that it can take a definite form and you can clearly see what you’re thinking about.
Practice your independence. Do not be easily influenced by the suggestions of others (that includes me).
Develop mindfulness and concentration.
Reduce your activities. Less activity means more concentration.
Observe silence everyday for some hours. Practice staring at the sky, the trees, the wall, or even darkness. Works well for me.
Get some privacy. Solitude is desirable for self examination and peace of mind.

Self-examination leads to self-mastery. If you want to take control of your life and strengthen the power of your will, take the time to understand the decisions that you make. We are all here to do what we are all here to do, but when you become capable of understanding your decisions, you will be able to see beyond your choices and vice versa. Consequently, whatever you choose to do is instantly willed and whatever you will brings about your desired course of action.

The Yogis of Tibet: A Film for Posterity

2011-11-29T00:52:00.000+08:00

I’m not a film freak, but I used to watch tons of movies when I was in college. Classic, foreign, local, documentary, silent, independent, blockbuster, whatever; resistance was futile when it’s part of our grade, you see. During my sophomore year, we were told to watch Seven Years in Tibet (Brad Pitt, David Thewlis, etc.). I went to see it with my then-girlfriend/classmate and we stayed in the theater for approximately seven hours. That's right. Seven bloody hours.

Seven hours in the movie theater watching Seven Years in Tibet, so you’re like, “Oh, you must be huge Brad Pitt fans, right?” and I’m like, “No, we’re not.” It was just an outgrowth of coincidence; we needed to watch the movie more than once because we had to submit a paper the following week. We took notes.

Yeah, right!

Actually, she took mental notes whereas her humble servant (me) took power naps. No, I wasn’t trying to redefine what it means to be a gentleman. I just didn’t like drama back then and I couldn’t relate with the film due to my insufficient factual knowledge of history and foreign cultures. When I finished my degree, however, the Force had become quite strong in me. Meaning, I possessed substantial awareness of human drama and I became a well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior, i.e., a true gentleman.

Nah!

Anyway, when my interest in Buddhist philosophy and spiritual practice started to develop, I felt the need to see the movie again. I think I’ve seen Seven Years in Tibet seven times already. My mathematical skills are limited to counting sheep and keeping track of how many times I saw a movie, so like whatever. My Christmas wish list includes an abacus; thank you for asking.

If you’re planning to watch the movie, please go ahead. The story is about one man’s quest for self-actualization, with lessons in spirituality, compassion, loyalty, purification, perseverance, loving-kindness, and even politics – Hollywood style. Coincidentally, there’s a part where Heinrich Harrer (Brad Pitt) creates a small movie theater for the Dalai Lama.

Nevertheless, you might want to watch the documentary below called The Yogis of Tibet so that you can really appreciate the movie. If you know a bit about Tibetan culture and Buddhist ideology, much of the scenes will truly stand out. If you’ve read my article on the Tibetan Book of the Dead, so much the better. It doesn’t really matter if you’re from the U.S., India, Japan, Afghanistan, or Mother Russia and following a different belief system. If you want to set your mind free from the limits imposed by your own culture, the best thing to do is to start seeing the world from a different perspective.

The Yogis Of Tibet (Full Movie)

An overview of the history and traditional practices of Tibetan yogi masters. Includes interviews with Choje Togden Rinpoche, Garchen Rinpoche, Ven Drubwang Konchok Norbu Rinpoche, Chetsang Rinpoche, and the 14th Dalai Lama.

7 Questions That Can Change Your Success-Blocking Beliefs

2011-11-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

Why is it that success or achievement in any field of endeavor (material, behavioral, social, or spiritual) seem to come as easy as pie for some people whereas others often end up having disappointed expectations and thwarted ambitions? Do these people have some kind of obscure magic formula? Do “thoughts become things” for them with just one snap of the finger? Or is it simply their destiny to become successful in life?

I’m sure you’d like to know the answer. It’s pretty simple really; no rocket science involved. What creates success for these people are their beliefs. Allow me to explain…

Deep-Rooted Beliefs

All of us have our own set of beliefs which are stored in the unconscious mind. Most of these beliefs are imprinted in the mind when we were still very young. They serve as the framework through which we interpret all our experiences. They tell us what’s possible and impossible, good and bad, or true and not true. These beliefs are like tape loops, scripts, scenes, or applications that affect your computer/brain’s performance. They are able to repeatedly influence and guide our imagination for many years telling us how we should see the world and behave in it. The French psychologist, Emile Coue, put it this way:

“Not only does the unconscious self preside over the functions of our organism, but also over all our actions whatever they are. It is this that we call imagination, and it is this which, contrary to accepted opinion, always makes us act even, and above all, against our will when there is antagonism between these two forces.”
Self-Mastery Through Conscious Autosuggestion (1922)

As we grow older, we add more layers of experience that reinforce and strengthen our beliefs, but the memories of the original experiences get buried deep into the unconscious mind. The process makes it very hard for us to bring these memories back to the surface of our consciousness in order for us to apply changes in our beliefs. In most cases, people have to go through an existential crisis before they can let go of one or more of their deep-rooted beliefs.

Introspection

Success in doing something can only be possible if there is harmony between your conscious desire and the beliefs stored in the unconscious mind. If your deep-rooted beliefs disagree with what you want to do, they will serve as hindrances to your plans and the result is guaranteed failure. A famous occultist once said, “A man whose conscious will is at odds with his True Will is wasting his strength. He cannot hope to influence his environment efficiently.”

People who grew up surrounded by people (relatives, friends, teachers, etc.) who programmed them with positive and modifiable beliefs, have a certain advantage – or luck if you will – over those who did not. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that it is not possible to change or modify the beliefs we have acquired just because they are negative or limiting. Meditation, hypnosis, psychoanalysis, and cognitive behavioral therapy are just some of the methods that people use to summon up deep-rooted beliefs so that they can deal with their problematic and dysfunctional ways of thinking and behaving. One of the simplest methods that you can use is called introspection.

The inertia of introspection leads toward recollection, for only through memory is the past recaptured and understood. In the fact of experiencing and making the present, we are all actors. But in the lacunae—in the rare moments of sensory deprivation when experience in the present is a minimal thing, as on a long plane ride, or any indolent, self-examining trip—then memory is free to speak and call forth the landscapes of our striving in moments now past.” – Terence McKenna, True Hallucinations (1993)

Introspection is the process of examining your own experiences or mental processes. It may not be as powerful as meditation and other comparable methods in giving you access to your unconscious mental processes, but it is effective enough in helping you determine and change your success-blocking beliefs. Basically, all you need to do is to probe yourself and find out if it is possible to achieve the goal that you have set for yourself. If you can convince yourself strongly enough that there is a possibility for success, then you will achieve it however difficult it may be.

Here are some of the questions that you may ask yourself:

1. What is your present state and what is your desired goal? - The first and most important step in changing your success-blocking beliefs is to define your desired state. Find out where you are in your present state and clearly describe what it is that you want to accomplish.

2. Why are you trying to pursue this goal? – Think about the result. For example, if you are working removing an addictive behavior, you need to figure out what you will do or what kind of benefit you will get after you eliminate that negative behavior.

3. What kind of resources do you need? – Identify the resources that you need, whether it involves other people, money, time, a lot of effort, etc., to get the result that you expect.

4. Do you know people with similar goals who have succeeded? - Testimonials and vivid anecdotes are one of the most popular and convincing forms of evidence presented for changing other people’s beliefs. You’ll need this too if you want to persuade yourself into changing your own beliefs.

5. When and how do you want to accomplish your goal? – You need to discipline yourself by first stating how your goal will be accomplished within a certain method and timeframe. In business, this is called project planning. Setting realistic deadlines for yourself helps you avoid procrastination and following the methods of the successful people you have identified reduces the possibility of committing mistakes.

6. How will you know when you are already successful? – Set useful targets for yourself so that you’ll have something to look forward to and something that would indicate that you need not exert any more effort.

7. What would you be like after you achieve your goal? – As mentioned earlier, our beliefs influence our imagination and it is our imagination that shapes our view of the world. If you can imagine yourself being successful, then you are already half-way there.

When you ask yourself these questions upon creating your goal, your mind will automatically start the process of changing your beliefs. This in turn will affect the way you behave and see your surroundings. The unconscious mind will automatically monitor your behavior and give you corrective feedback that will keep you on track towards your goal. If you repeat this reflective process often enough, you will soon believe your own thoughts even if they are not true, at least for the time being. Your repeated affirmations will eventually break through the protective walls of the unconscious, and once this happens, you are well on your way towards success.

Culture Is Your Operating System

2011-11-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

If you know Terence McKenna, then you've probably come across this statement before: “Culture is your operating system.” What this means is that basically all your beliefs, values, principles, ideas, desires, fears and whatnot were programmed into you by the social order, which has been running the process of cultural transmission long before any of us were born. Even the idea of what it means to be human was handed down to you by your culture.

I have shared this before, but I just thought about sharing it again. Having a degree in mass communication allowed me to deeply appreciate the message imparted by McKenna in this video. I'm not sure if it will have the same effect on you, but if you need a little bit more exposure to the horrific conditions of human society brought about by modern cultural programming, then you can check out the videos in this playlist called Mainstream Media Lies and Manipulation to Control. Free your mind.

How To Deal With An Existential Crisis (Defense Mechanisms)

2011-11-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

If you are experiencing an existential crisis, you are said to be dealing with existential anxiety. In this article, I’m going to explain some of the defense mechanisms we use to deal with this anxiety. Defense mechanisms are the psychological and cultural programs built into the psyche that activate to assist us in crisis situations which can happen when our ego is threatened or during self-examination as our current beliefs and values start to trickle away.

George Eman Vaillant, an American psychiatrist and Professor at Harvard Medical School, categorized defense mechanisms into four levels:

Pathological defenses – delusional projection, denial, distortion, splitting, and extreme projection.
Immature defenses – acting out, fantasy, idealization, passive aggression, projection, projective identification, and somatization.
Neurotic defenses – displacement, dissociation, hypochondriasis, intellectualization, isolation, rationalization, reaction formation, regression, repression, undoing, and withdrawal.
Mature defenses – altruism, anticipation, humor, identification, introjection, thought suppression, and sublimation.

As you can see, we have quite a lot of ego defense mechanisms, but I will only focus on the mature defenses (level 4) since these are the ones that can help you get back on track with more success if you are experiencing an existential crisis. As a matter of fact, many books on personal development and psychology deal with the application of these mature defenses.

Nevertheless, I do suggest that you read about the other defenses (pathological, immature, and neurotic) by visiting the link I have provided above so that you’ll know if you are still utilizing these defenses.

Think of these defenses as anti-virus software that run in the background to protect your operating system (mind). The first three levels of defenses (pathological, immature, and neurotic) are outdated software while the fourth level (mature defenses) is the latest one in the market. The proper way to uninstall the outdated defenses is by becoming conscious of them and turning them off whenever they start to activate. By doing so, you can train yourself into using the mature defenses below so that they can run properly with your operating system.

Mature Defense Mechanisms

1. Altruism - It was a French philosopher, named Auguste Comte, who coined the term "altruism," which is basically the opposite of "egoism" or "selfishness." All of us were born selfish. It's just part of our nature to take care of our needs first in order to survive before we concern ourselves with other people's issues. However, it is also the reason why we suffer because selfishness feeds that which creates the illusion of separateness, i.e. the ego. The dissolution of the ego during an existential crisis becomes harder to bear if we have fed it so much through our selfishness. Hence, caring for the welfare of others is, perhaps, the best solution. Try to create a purpose wherein helping other people becomes your main objective. To quote the Dalai Lama, "The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes."

2. Anticipation – It is the nature of the mind to anticipate and think imaginatively about the future. It collects information from our present state of affairs and from our memories of the past to create our expectations of future events. This is, perhaps, one of the things that separate us from our friends in the animal kingdom. Those guys live by the day; eat or be eaten. We humans have the ability to plan for parties. One of the main reasons why we suffer an existential crisis is when we lose the very thing that makes us anticipate what’s going to happen next. When you have nothing to anticipate, you have nothing to look forward to so you think you have no more reason to live. You may have an objective now, but when that objective expires and you don’t know what you’re going to do next, that smells like trouble. The truth is, the moment you start to think it’s all over that is actually when the party really begins. Check out my article on how to find your purpose in life.

3. Humor – Much of what happens to us in everyday life is a good source for humor. Humor can also help you gain success and respect in almost every facet of life (unless, of course, if you work in a funeral home). Woody Allen once said, “I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things — because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.” Try not to take everything in life too seriously. Too many people are doing that already that’s why the world is in such a mess. When someone tells you that laughter is the best medicine, take the prescription.

4. Identification – When you have made the decision that life must go on, there is still that sense of uncertainty as to what you should do next. This is when using another person as a role model can help us determine what to do. Identification is seeking to change yourself to be like the other person either in some limited way or in all ways. During this stage, you should be very careful in selecting the person/s you’re going to identify with as they can strongly influence your whole character. Children identify or use their parents as role models. Since you’re no longer a child, identifying with men/women of great wisdom would be a smart thing to do.

5. Introjection - In an existential crisis, many of the internalized ideas you have acquired from your culture and society are wiped off. It’s as if you’re being reformatted like a computer. According to Freud, the ego and the superego are “constructed” by introjecting external behavior into your own persona. In other words, you pick a good (or bad) attribute of a person you admire to make it part of yourself. Since you are “reconstructing” your ego and superego, you obviously need to install new programs (behavior, qualities, and beliefs) so that you can start operating once again. Just choose your programs wisely!

6. Thought suppression - There are two ways in which you can mentally restrain and suppress unwanted thoughts: 1) replace the thought with a positive one, or 2) distract yourself by doing something. Of course, suppressing an unwanted thought is just a temporary solution and successfully pushing a thought out of your consciousness is not a guarantee that it won’t come back. Thought suppression is only useful because it allows us to take care of our responsibilities first and deal with our issues later. However, this is not a final solution. As I mentioned before, we grow by accepting the feeling anxiety as part of our nature as humans and by acting upon it.

7. Sublimation - In classical psychoanalysis, it is believed that our impulse is to fulfill the wishes of the id. The id is the part of our personality structure that contains our basic desires like sex, aggression, etc. The ego converts these unconscious negative drives into positive and productive behavior so that we can fit into our society. All the decisions we make, both large (e.g., finding a partner or a job, relocating) and small (e.g., keeping up with the Kardashians or whatever), are thought of as sublimations of our base desires. This process is unconscious, and you are not aware of the drives that you convert. You are, however, conscious of your choices and decisions because you can imagine them. Thus, in order to make use of this defense mechanism, all you have to do is to train your imagination into imagining positive things. If you keep on imagining that you are depressed, then you'll never be able to get out of it. If you can imagine yourself being happy and doing great things, however, then everything will soon change for the better. The choice is always yours. In the words of the psychologist William James, “Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”

How To Deal With An Existential Crisis (Anxiety)

2011-11-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

When you find your meaning and purpose in life, you know where you are heading. There is no need for soul-searching and you can operate rather well within the society. When you are suffering from an existential crisis, however, you have a sense of being alone and isolated. Life becomes meaningless and purposeless. There’s nothing more for you to do in this world. But why?

To deal with an existential crisis, it would be useful to know first how people get into this kind of situation. Basically, what happens in an existential crisis is that you undergo three phases:

1. You encounter a paradoxical situation – the sense of meaning and purpose you presently hold is confronted by a situation which forces you to abandon it. Everything seemed to be going well as you have planned it, but all of a sudden you find yourself in an unfamiliar situation like a divorce, pregnancy, unemployment, the death of a loved one, an accident, poverty, middle age, old age, etc. You then get the impression that life has no meaning and purpose.

2. You experience cognitive dissonance – this is a feeling of anxiety caused by holding conflicting ideas concurrently. A part of you believes that life has meaning and purpose, but now another part of you is saying exactly the opposite. You can’t really decide which one it will be, so you struggle and try to convince yourself to choose one over the other.

3. You employ defense mechanisms - defense mechanisms are the innate psychological and cultural strategies we turn to when we experience anxiety so that we don’t lose our grip on reality. Your mind will not allow you to have two opposing ideas, so you need to decide which one you will stick to. Once you have made your choice (consciously or subconsciously), the defense mechanisms will activate to protect that idea. I’ll talk more about defense mechanisms on the second article.

Existential Anxiety

If you are going through an existential crisis, you are said to be experiencing existential anxiety. Existential anxiety arises when a sufficiently rapid series of life changing situations or events are experienced leaving you with a profound sense of uncertainty and fear regarding your existence.

All of us go through the various stages of development in human life. At certain stages of development, we endure a series of changes (physical, psychological, social, etc.) that allow us to progress from one stage to another. These changes can be brought about by internal factors (physiological and psychological) or external factors (societal and environmental). Anxiety is the result of not being sure how to respond to these changes.

We grow by accepting this feeling of anxiety as part of our nature as humans and by acting upon it. It is the time when we can fully integrate into our lives memories of our previous experiences (lessons of the past). When we reject it, however, the results can be disastrous.

Changes In Your State of Mind

When you go through an existential crisis, you experience changes in your state of mind. Your state of mind, in this regard, is the sum of all your beliefs and values. It is from which you derive your sense of identity, meaning, and purpose. When the process is over, your state of mind can:

1. Change into something new and superior to the previous state – the accumulation of changes forces you to grow so that you may evolve into new levels of awareness and understanding. You then get the sense of having a higher purpose in life.

2. Change into something new but inferior to the previous state – you regress into a non-integrated set of beliefs and values. You shift your focus onto other lower needs that were neglected or perhaps reenact memories of previous experiences so that you can fully integrate them into your current view of the world.

3. Change randomly/repetitively into different states – your mind becomes capable of being easily altered or controlled by outside forces. You get the sense of doing something, but it changes from time to time.

4. Cause a mental breakdown – you lose your mind completely. When this happens, you could show all kinds of abnormal behavior such as destructiveness, neuroticism, narcissism, depression, insanity, or suicidal tendencies. At this point, you need to consult with a professional whose expertise can help solve your problem.

Obviously, nobody would want to experience an existential crisis. However, it is during times like this that you become conscious of yourself as an individual. You are forced to look at the possibilities available to you so that you can make your own choices. As a matter of fact, this is the moment when you get that sense of autonomy you normally don’t experience in the routines of everyday life. It is a time when you renew your sense of identity, meaning, and purpose altogether (presuming that you don’t lose your mind as a result of the process). In the next article, I’m going to discuss the defense mechanisms we use to deal with an existential crisis, which will hopefully give you a sense of what to do.

How To Find Your Meaning and Purpose In Life

2011-11-11T18:01:00.000+08:00

All of us have something that gives us a sense of identity, meaning, or purpose. Take that thing away, and we are bound to experience all sorts of psychological disturbances the most brutal, perhaps, is an existential crisis. In other words, you have a certain need; something that you must attach or connect yourself to so that you don’t lose your grip on reality. So how can we exactly determine what it is that we need?

Your need is different from other people’s needs because we all operate in varying degrees of self-awareness. Some people focus on higher attainments while others find their fulfillment in simple ones. Those who question the nature of reality, for example, are trying to fulfill their spiritual needs, while those who are looking for the right partner - who will give meaning to their existence - may be trying to fulfill their sexual or emotional needs. Different strokes for different folks.

“Man is born as a freak of nature, being within nature and yet transcending it. He has to find principles of action and decision-making which replace the principles of instincts. He has to have a frame of orientation which permits him to organize a consistent picture of the world as a condition for consistent actions. He has to fight not only against the dangers of dying, starving, and being hurt, but also against another danger which is specifically human: that of becoming insane. In other words, he has to protect himself not only against the danger of losing his life but also against the danger of losing his mind.”
Eric Fromm, The Revolution of Hope: Toward a Humanized Technology (1968), p. 61

Take a look at the seven needs below (starting from the lowest to the highest) to determine what you are trying to fulfill or the kind connection you have lost if you are suffering from an existential crisis. Take note that some of these needs may overlap each other as in the case of a person who is trying to gain authority and group acceptance (social need) in order to fulfill his/her intellectual pursuits (intellectual need). In another sense, the needs may take each other’s form as in the case of a person who is consciously trying to make a name in the music industry (creative need) with the unconscious desire for popularity (social need). It’s up to you to determine which type of need corresponds to your present state of mind.

1. Survival – the need for safety, financial security, material resources, health, etc. are examples of survival needs. Whatever pertains to human biological survival generally belongs to this category. For example, some people find fulfillment in providing for themselves and their families. Suffering a financial hardship is not an option for them. As long as they can find pleasure in something and avoid suffering (pain), life remains meaningful and purposeful.

2. Sexual – the need for sexual pleasure, reproduction, nurture of the young, etc. are some examples of sexual needs. Whatever pertains to human sexuality generally belongs to this category. For example, some men find their sense of identity and purpose by pursuing as many women as they can while some women find fulfillment in bearing children. They don’t really care too much about politics, proving the existence of God and aliens, getting rich, and whatnot.

3. Social – the need for status, authority, power, group acceptance, self-esteem, achievement, etc. are some examples of social needs. Whatever pertains to your position in society generally belongs to this category. Some people, for example, would do anything to achieve fame or social recognition while others just do their best to be part of the group in which they belong. Those who fall under this category get their sense of identity, meaning, and purpose mainly from the society.

4. Emotional – the need for love, relatedness, friendship, intimacy, etc. are some examples of emotional needs. Whatever pertains to interpersonal relationship generally belongs to this category. Emotional needs may arise when you want to overcome the feeling of separateness without sacrificing your sense of individuality. In other words, you need to be with someone other than yourself. Those who fall under this category get their sense of identity, meaning, and purpose from their emotional attachment with other people. People who do not succeed in fulfilling this need tend to become narcissists.

5. Creative – the need to express artistic talent, musical skills, business expertise, dance, athletics, architecture, etc. are some examples of creative needs. Basically, anything that compels you to express yourself creatively belongs to this category. Some people, for example, have a sense of purpose as long as they can sing in front of an audience or if they can, perhaps, make their living out of that which they love doing the most.

6. Intellectual – the need for problem solving, analysis, research, exploration, investigation, etc. are some examples of intellectual needs. Anything that compels you to use your rational brain to its fullest capacity belongs to this category. Some people, for example, get their sense of meaning as long as they can rationalize something. They become scientists, philosophers, psychologists, mathematicians, engineers, and so on. Those who have reached their limit in using the rational brain may either move to the next level (spiritual) or become raging lunatics.

7. Spiritual – the need to contemplate or question things beyond the reach of rational explanation. Anything that compels you to explore the mystical, spiritual, divine, metaphysical, transcendent, or whatever you want to call it falls under this category. For example, there are those who want to know if there is a soul that survives after they die, if there’s really a meaning to existence, if there is life somewhere else in the universe, if there are other realms of existence, if the Flying Spaghetti Monster really exists, and so on. Those who have reached the end of their spiritual journey may either become enlightened beings or hopeless psychopaths.

Keep in mind that all these needs are present within each and every one of us. You should not focus solely on just one need and neglect all the rest, but it also doesn’t mean that you should exert an equal amount of energy in taking care of all these needs all the time. Just remember that before you take a step to reach something that’s high, you should have a stable foundation so you don’t fall down. Manage your lower needs first as best you can so they won’t give you any trouble in the future.

If you take the time to reflect on these needs, you will discover that there is only one that really resonates with you. Don’t think it; feel it. Your heart, not your brain, is the one that is keeping you alive, so it should know what it is you are looking for. When you are searching for a purpose you are quite ineffectual, but when you find the right one you respond with increased energy. Finding a purpose in life is a sign that you have reached some level of completion. But if you don't find what you're looking for, don't worry. It will find you. Peace and respect! R