Virtue Alert

It's moving day!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:20:00 +0000

Dear friends,

Up until now, I have managed two sites: This blog at VirtueAlert.com and my author site at VickiCourtney.com. In order to simplify things, we have merged both sites into one location at VickiCourtney.com. This will be the last and final post on this blog. You can click here to hop over and see my new virtual home!

Be sure to bookmark the new site when you get there and update your bloglines if you previously subscribed in a reader. If you have already subscribed to the Virtue Alert e-letter, you will continue to receive our weekly email updates. You will not need to re-subscribe on the new site. If you have listed me in your blogroll, please change the URL address to www.VickiCourtney.com.

Now, what are you waiting for? Come see me!

Abercrombie & Fitch: YAWN.

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:10:00 +0000

Dear Abercrombie,

You bore me. Yawn, yawn, and double-yawn. Your latest attempt to clothe our girls in trashy t-shirts like the ones pictured above is so very, UNORIGINAL. Don't you remember? You tried the trashy t-shirt campaign already, once before. Seems I remember it was right on the heels of the launch of your tho*ng underwear line to young girls. Who can forget the disturbing messages printed on the front like, "Wink, Wink" and "Eye Candy?" Probably not the dads of the girls you marketed the line to, I imagine.

All that to say, I'm not sure what led you to resurrect the old trashy t-shirt campaign, but I'm guessing it's a last ditch attempt to get back in the news. Perhaps you are relying on your once loyal market demographic: Young women with zero self-esteem and zero self-respect. You know, the kind of girls who are so desperate for attention that they're willing to settle for the wrong kind of attention. Because let's be honest, the only person who would wear one of the t-shirts above is someone who doesn't think they have anything else to offer other than well, their parts and services. But here's where your thinking is severely flawed: Girls have become much more adept at identifying the real M.O. behind marketing schemes such as yours. They are tired of being portrayed as nothing more than objects for the male-viewing pleasure. In other words, the gig is up. I guess you didn't get the memo. They're onto you now.

Which leads me to ask...is that old-enough-to-be-a-gramp-pa, Michael Jeffries still running your company? Did anyone tell him that it's no longer even considered fashionable to dress like a hoochie? It's sooooo yesterday, as in Britney-what's-her-name kinda yesterday. If you see Mr. Jeffries, tell him I have an idea for a radical marketing stunt: If he has a grand-daughter (and he very well may, since he's in his mid-sixties), would he be willing to do a photo shoot with his little princess wearing one of the trashy tee's above? Maybe he could stand next to her with his arm around her and do a cheesy thumb's up sign. No? Just an idea...

My guess is that he's feeling a bit desperate as of late, since net sales for the month of August, 2009, fell 23% from sales posted in August, 2008. Some analysts are even buzzing that A&F is past it's company sell-by date and bankruptcy may be just around the corner. So sad. It must be very tense around there. I imagine you guys are chalking up the sales decline to the struggling economy. While that may be a major variable, another cause could be your over-the-top, "sex sells" campaigns. While I'm disappointed that you would once again attempt to resurrect the trashy-tee campaign, in a way, I'm also kind of glad. I personally see this as the final nail in your company coffin. Because hey, everyone knows that when sales are down, you go to desperate lengths to offend what little is left of your customer-base, right?

In the meantime, just know that moms like me will remain vigilant in equipping our daughters to identify marketing campaigns that prey on the insecurities of young women. And more importantly, we will encourage our girls to close their wallets to key offenders, such as your company. And for that reason, your days are numbered. Mark my words.

Sincerely,

Vicki Courtney

(Moms, please take a minute to call or send a quick email to A&F by clicking here.)

It's Give-away (because-I'm-too-busy-to-do-a-post) Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:43:00 +0000

UPDATE: We have a winner!

(gunterak@charter.net) has won our give-away. Here's her entry:

Halo-Beyonce
Finally Home-Mercy Me
Word of God Speak-Mercy Me
You're Gonna miss this-Trace Adkins
Until the Whole World Hears-Casting Crowns
Love Story-Taylor Swift
Super Freak-Alvin and the Chipmunks-kids!!!
Blessed be your name-Matt Redman
Bless the Broken Road-Rascal Flats
Beethoven 5th-Trans Siberian Orchestra

What? Alvin and the Chipmunks have a version of Super Freak?!! I'm heading over to iTunes to pick it up! Congratulations!

This week is CRAZY BUSY as opposed to you know, just NORMAL BUSY. Therefore, I thought I would do a quick give-away to reward those of you who are dropping by my blog and finding a week-old post. Now, in order to qualify, you have to have iTunes or an MP3 player with a "shuffle" feature. If you have no idea what I just said, then you probably don't have it. I feel kinda bad that you are being discriminated against, but this could be a sign that it's time to put that portable CD player away and join us in 2009. ☺

I actually got this idea off one of my Facebook friend's status messages this morning. It appears to be the latest version of the "Grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 56; scroll down to the 5th sentence on the page and copy it down" wave that swept through Facebook several months ago (and strangely, was also a qualifier for my last give-away). So here goes:

Go to your iTunes library, turn on the "shuffle" feature, and list the first ten songs that come up with their respective artists. If you don't have a blogger profile, click on the "anonymous" option and leave your email address, so we can contact you if you win. We'll draw one winner a week from today who will receive a signed copy of my book, The Virtuous Woman and a brand new copy of Jeremy Camp's CD, Beyond Measure. And just for fun, here's my list of the first ten songs that came up in the shuffle mode:

Laughter in the Rain/Neil Sedaka
Come, Now is the Time to Worship/violin instrumental
Jesus Paid It All/Fernando Ortega
I Miss You Here/Downhere
You Are So Beautiful/Joe Cocker
Billie Jean/Michael Jackson
My Love/Lionel Richie
Made to Worship/Chris Tomlin
Rich Girl/Hall & Oates
Industry/Jon McLaughlin

At the very least, it reveals two things about me: 1) I love Jesus and 2) I'm still clinging to the 70's-80's (only the music...not the hair). I'm looking forward to seeing your list! No cheating...(and no judgment!).

You & Your Girl event in Oklahoma!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:16:00 +0000

If you have a tween or teen daughter and live anywhere near Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, I wanted to take a minute to personally invite you to attend the upcoming You & Your Girl event on September 12th. With so much bidding for your daughter's attention, I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday. I've said it before, but it's tough raising a daughter in today's culture. This is an opportunity for your daughter to hear timely biblical truths that will reinforce what you are already teaching her. It is also an opportunity for moms to come together and be refueled for the task that lies ahead. For a behind the scenes slide-show of our last event in Kentucky, click here.

I hope to see you in Oklahoma! Also, don't forget that we will also be in Las Vegas in October, 2009, and Mississippi and Dallas in the spring of 2010. Click here for more information or to register for an event.

Doe River Gorge: Zip-line included

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 16:51:00 +0000

This past weekend, I had the awesome privilege of speaking at a mother/daughter event at Doe River Gorge in Tennessee. Doe River Gorge is a beautiful facility tucked in the mountains of Tennessee that offers horseback riding, challenge courses, tubing, kayaking, mountain biking, a zip-line, and more. When doing events, I don't normally get to interact much with the moms and girls due to the craziness of the schedule, but this event was different. I gave a message on Friday night and then wasn't due to speak again until the evening session on Saturday. So with a free day ahead of me, I accepted an invitation (dare?) to zip-line with a mother (Lisa) and her 6th grade daughter (Franna). Like me, Franna's mom had never zip-lined before, so I was in good company.

Needless to say, we were hooked after the first time down. Proving that you're never too old to succumb to peer pressure, we somehow managed to allow sweet Franna to talk us into letting go of the rope and hanging upside down on the second time down. I am so thankful for the clip above which offers documented proof of my upside-down zip-line experience. (I am on the left, by the way.) The clip will be used on a regular basis to remind my kids that 1) I am not OLD and 2) I am VERY cool. The event was a wonderful way to jump-start my fall speaking tour and an event I won't soon forget. I joked with the staff that I may start giving priority to all speaking invitations that offer zip-lining as part of the package.

Doe River Gorge offers their mother/daughter event (as well as a father/son event) every year. And you don't have to live in TN to attend! I met a group of mothers from Florida who make it an annual event to attend. The best part of the weekend was seeing the moms and girls interact with each other. I witnessed an interesting reversal of roles during a mountain bike ride with Franna and her mother, Lisa. There were some challenging parts on the trail and a few uphill climbs that I wasn't sure I could make. And once to the top, we then faced a steep downhill ride over tree limbs and rocks that I wasn't sure I could survive without ending up in the local ER. It had poured down rain the night before which made the course all the more challenging. As we were huffing and puffing up one steep hill, sweet Franna, sensing that her mom was a tad bit panicked, shouted back to Lisa, "I love you, Mama. You can do it!" Her words were just what her mom needed to make it up the hill and finish out the ride.

As I was thinking about Franna's sweet words of encouragement on my plane ride home, I got a little misty-eyed over the tender picture of this role-reversal. Most of the moms who attended the event wanted to get away with their daughters and provide them with some much-needed guidance and encouragement to stand strong in a challenging culture. Like that mountain bike ride, there will be uphill climbs and unexpected tree limbs and rocks on the course that threaten to knock our girls off God's path. Franna's words echoed the words on every mothers' heart, including my own. "I love you, Paige. You can do it!"

But her words also echo God's encouragement to mothers, as we attempt to navigate the unknown trail of parenting. Some of you have sustained bumps and bruises along the way and have lost your confidence. Maybe others aren't quite sure you have the energy to get back on your bikes and attempt to stay up with your kids, much less, lead the way. I've been there. In fact, I'm still there. Just a couple weeks ago, I faced a parenting challenge with one of my kids that left me wanting to park my bike in the garage, hang up my helmet, and drive myself to the nearest ER. In other words, I showed up at the event with the assigned task to encourage girls and their moms to stick it out and stay strong, yet I was sporting some fresh bumps and bruises from my own parenting ride. Franna's words served as a timely reminder to me, as well. Just when I think the challenge is too much, God whispers, I love you, Vicki. You can do it."

If the Sperry fits, wear it.

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 15:35:00 +0000

Dear Courtney children,

I stumbled upon the above picture recently while flipping through my 1981 high school yearbook. That's good 'ol mom on the far right. You know, the gal sportin' the SPERRY TOPSIDERS. The same style of Sperry's, mind you, that you happen to own. When we bought your Sperrys, I casually mentioned that the Sperry trend can be traced back to my generation -- a byproduct of the fantabulous 1980's. I also dropped the bomb that yours truly had owned a pair. Remember that? I believe that if I remember correctly, you responded with hysterical laughter and never-ending taunting. "Yeah, right, Mom. Did you wear them while walking five miles to school in the snow?" (As a side note, they are water-resistant and able to withstand long walks to school in the snow. However, I recommend you wear them with leg warmers. Well, maybe not you boys...)

In fact, I was met with the same hysterical laughter when notifying you about other notable trends my generation is responsible for jump-starting. Trends, I should note, that your generation has conveniently hi-jacked and since claimed for its own. Let's see. There is the Izod shirt (or as you call them, "Lacoste" shirts), knit Polo shirts (see above pic; flipped up collar optional), embroidered Mexican dresses, plaid shorts, leggings, and those ever-popular Vans, just to name a few.

So, as a child of the 80's and therefore, by default, a seasoned trend-setter, I thought I would be so kind as to tip you off to a few more 80's trends that I feel are due for a comeback in the near future. If you can put your mocking aside, this is your opportunity to be on the forefront of an up-and-coming trend. Here goes:

Pet rocks: Oh, I realize you have your virtual Neopets and the like, but who wouldn't want to love and nurture a black river rock and tuck it into a small bed of straw each night in its miniature cardboard house? Try doing that virtually and gaining the same warm fuzzy feeling.

PacMan: While you boys play your fancy, complicated online video games, you could be playing something simple like PacMan. PacMan contains no blood, guts, or violence of any sort and it is loved and understood by both guys and GIRLS. Key word, here: GIRLS.

Chaps cologne for the guys; Love's Baby Soft for the girls: You and your silly designer fragrances with price tags that could feed a small village. Available at your local Walgreens for under $10 and just in time for the first school dance.

Overalls: Actually, these are quite unattractive, but in a selfish effort to cover up bare midriffs and exposed boxer shorts, I'm cheering on the return of this trend.

Swatch watches: Just click here for a sample. I dare you to try to try to resist buying one of these cuties.

Hang Ten: What girl could resist this cute little logo emblazoned on her shirts and shorts?

As an added bonus, I have also included a list of 80's trends that my generation now humbly admits were severe, grievous mistakes. Therefore, the following should be avoided at all costs: (In an attempt to erase these trends from the 1980's historical timeline, no images or links will be provided.)

Shoulder pads (girls): They should only be worn by football players, period, end of sentence.
Stirrup pants (girls): Wear 'em once and you'll know why they should be forever banned.
Paint-spattered t's, tennis shoes, and especially white overalls: Stick with tye-die. Trust me on this one.
Feathered hair, especially with middle part (guys): Also known as a "butt cut." No, no, no. For girls, it's okay because Farrah started it and Farrah was a GIRL. And Farrah will forever be cool in any and all generations.
Blue eye-liner (girls): Just say no. And if you're a guy, say no to any color. I don't care if you're in a rock band, eye-liner is for girls and girls alone.
Madonna: 'Nuff said.

So, there you have it. Feel free to come to me in the future should you wish to have the inside track on riding the next trend-wave. Oh, and I forgive you for doubting that I owned a pair of oh-so-cool, Sperry top-siders. Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm off to find my Swatch watch...and no, you can't borrow it. :)

Love,

Mom

My Backstreet Boy

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 18:21:00 +0000

For those of you who are new to my blog, I have three children and the oldest just began his senior year at Auburn University (War Eagle!). Honestly, it's hard to believe that I dropped Ryan off for his freshman year just three short years ago. The time literally flew, and voila, here we are in his senior year. The reality of it all hit me about a month ago when I went with him to pick up a suit that had been altered. A suit, mind you, that he and his dad purchased for upcoming job interviews. As in grown-up-man-working-world kind of job interviews. Mercy, do I really have a son who is old enough to dress up in a business suit and go on JOB interviews? Will someone please tell me this is a dream and he is just in the next room building a Lincoln Log tower and watching an episode of Ninja Turtles?

Anyway, back to 2009. He absolutely refused to allow me so much as one little picture of him wearing the suit. "Mom, I know you. You'll put it on your blog." Whatever. Okay, so he knows me well. But, I did happen to stumble upon this vintage video clip from the first semester of his freshman year that I thought would make for a good flash-back. He is the curly-headed lad in the red shirt and the performance was filmed in his dorm hallway with a few of his friends. Kind of an impromptu thing. You know, a typical college diversion from say, studying.

So, if you have a son, this one is for you. And for the record, he's a Business Management major, which is probably a good thing. I'm not thinking he's boy band material. Now, if you'll excuse me. The clip reminded me that he needs a haircut before the interviews begin. Always on the clock...

Virtue en Vogue!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:30:00 +0000

Last night was the Virtue en Vogue mother/daughter fashion show in Austin, Texas and I'm happy to report that we had nearly 500 in attendance! I'm also happy to report that we didn't run out of desserts this year! (Last year, we were a bit caught off guard when we had over 150 showed up at the door to register. We refer to this unfortunate event as "Cupcake Chaos of 2008.") This year, it was a sea of frosted cupcakes and there was plenty to go around. As you can guess, it takes a team of devoted volunteers to make an event like this possible, so I want to take a minute to extend a giant thank-you to the following:

All in One Bakeshop
Galaxy Cupcakes
Let's Pray Today Ministries
Dominican Joe Coffee Shop
Pine Cove Christian Camps (Outback/Columbus, TX)
B&H Publishing Group (Corporate Sponsor)
Dillard's Lakeline Mall
Grace Covenant Church
The Reliques (Worship band)
Melody Dalgleish (Creator of the amazing Virtue en Vogue cake!)

A special thanks also to our darling mother/daughter models including Christy May, who organized the mother/daughter model teams. Thanks also to the many volunteers who baked, served, and helped out in the bookstore. Thank you, thank you!

The proceeds from this event directly support the maintenance and upkeep of our website for teen girls, VirtuousReality.com. The site is offered free of charge and currently receives visitors from all 50 states and over 30 countries. If you've never seen our site for teen girls before, please check it out by clicking here. Surf around and be sure to check out the prayer board to get a glimpse of some of the tough issues teen girls are facing. If you have a teen daughter (middle or high school aged), be sure to add her email address to our subscriber list while you're there, so she will receive email notifications regarding new content. I also recommend that you subscribe so you can stay in the loop of what is impacting girls in today's culture.

Given the current economy, this is going to be a lean year for Virtuous Reality Ministries and we are praying that we can continue to update the site on a regular basis with relevant and timely material. We realize the economy has affected everyone, but if you are in a position to give, we would greatly appreciate it. No donation is too small! (There is a donate tab on the homepage of the virtuousreality.com site.) Most importantly, we covet your prayers for Virtuous Reality Ministries and especially, the countless girls (and moms) we minister to on a regular basis. Thank you for your consideration and willingness to partner with us in any capacity!

(Note: The song used for the slide show is "More Beautiful You" by Johnny Diaz. Click on the song title for a direct link to iTunes.)

Sibling rivalry: Hayden comes out on top

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:42:00 +0000

Ah, one of many fond summer memories. Hayden (16) attempts (and succeeds) to crush his sister (far left) and her friend while tubing on Lake LBJ a few weeks ago. Had Paige (19) been the crushee, I doubt she would be smiling. And I can guarantee you, there would be a shot of Hayden swimming for shore to escape her wrath. Fortunately, her friend Jesi also has a pesky younger brother, so she's no stranger to abuse of this nature.

For those of you with younger children who duke it out on a regular basis, I realize this gives you little hope. However, look at the bright side. Once they reach this age, you trade in your striped referee jersey and replace it with a camera. Let's face it, these are the shots that make for great scrapbooks. Or if you're scrapbook-challenged like me, gallon size Zip-loc bags.

Twitter-dee, twitter-dumb.

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:38:00 +0000

Believe it or not, the title of this post is the lead-in for my first-ever "tweet" on Twitter. What, may you wonder, is so unusual about me being on Twitter? Well, I just so happen to be the gal who said she would never Twitter. As in NEVER-EVER. I also said I would never drive a mini-van, give my babies pacifiers, or take up running. Guilty as charged on all three counts. Just add my entry into the Twitterverse onto my long list of never-ever declarations that I've had to eat over the years. But in this case, I must eat my words in 140 characters or less. Good luck with that one. I am a woman of many characters, ya know.

So, if you are on Twitter, click here to find me. Unfortunately, Vicki Courtney the German teacher, snapped up my name first, so I had to settle for vicki_courtney. But, I'm not bitter or anything. You snooze, you lose. I felt like I needed to call that to your attention, since Vicki Courtney the German teacher, currently has a tweet up that says she "enjoys beer, crisps, and England." Nothing wrong with that, but I didn't want you to follow the wrong Vicki Courtney and then get confused if she starts tweeting in German, especially if it's after a late night at the local pub.

But seriously, my main purpose of caving into the Twitter craze, is to respond real-time to stuff shaking down in the culture (like Miley's recent pole dance) and link you back here to related posts. That's not to say my tweets will be all work and no play. I'm sure I will also be alerting my Twitter following to important events in my daily life. Like the one that occurred a few days ago when I had to rush my 4 lb. Yorkie, Scout to the vet after he shredded and swallowed parts of a AAA battery. No worries...my little Energizer Bunny is A-Okay after lots of lovin' (and a $200 vet bill). See what you are missing?

If you twitter (tweet?), feel free to offer words of Twitter wisdom to this newbie. And if you don't twitter, never say never.

Miley Cyrus: Balancing act or pole dance?

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:15:00 +0000

Move over Britney, there's a new tart in town. The entertainment news sites were abuzz this morning over Miley Cyrus's performance at last night's Teen Choice Awards that involved um, a stripper pole. Check out this excerpt from NewsDay.com:

Who wears short shorts? Miley Cyrus does - and black leather boots, too.

The 16-year-old Disney star, who sold out Nassau Coliseum in 2007 and is in line to do the same for her November show here, took another step along the Britney Spears career track this weekend with a pole-dancing performance at the Teen Choice Awards that some say sent the wrong message to her tween-age fans.

Cyrus, who has been piping up about broadening her appeal, busted out the provocative get-up to sing her song "Party in the USA" for a segment of the teen awards fest taped Sunday and broadcast Monday night on Fox.

Halfway through the song, Cyrus climbed atop an ice cream cart and shimmied alongside a pole protruding from its top. But if you were surprised, offended or shocked by the move, you really shouldn't be, say Miley-watchers - this has been coming for some time.

"She already has this risque image, so it really wasn't much of a stretch," says Us magazine senior editor Ian Drew. "That's how Britney took off. She was the good girl gone bad, and it looks to be working for Miley as well."

Ah, Brits: during the TCAs, Spears joined Cyrus to accept an award - a trophy Cyrus was proud to hand over "because I'm a big fan of hers." (Click here to read more.)

I didn't catch the show last night, so I decided to check out the performance for myself on YouTube this morning. While she appears to prance more than dance, the debate at hand seems to be over whether she is actually "pole-dancing" or rather, using the pole to balance herself while dancing on the ice cream cart to which it's attached. I say, "WHO CARES!" The bottom line is that the scene didn't have to be included in the performance. Is this girl only surrounded by "yes people" who see nothing more than dollar signs when they look at her? Did no one (including her own parents!), have the guts to say, "Um sweetie, do you think the general public might mistaken this "balancing prop" for a stripper pole...especially, if you happen to be dressed like a stripper while you're holding onto it?" C'mon! And my guess is that there were no shortage of advisers who encouraged her to spice up her moves on that ice cream cart. It's quite possible that Miley is patting herself on the back this morning for refusing to emulate some of the stripper moves that were likely, suggested. Her willingness to include the ice cream cart scene indicates a moral desensitization that is all too common among our young people (including our church kids) today.

Regardless of what the true motive or intent was in including the ice cream cart scene, the majority opinion (even among her youngest of fans), appears to be disgust and disappointment. For that, I'm relieved. Most decent folks seem to take issue with a 16 year-old girl dressed in micro-mini-short-shorts, a shredded t-shirt with exposed black bra and high-heeled black leather boots, who appears to be dancing (ahem, balancing?) up next to what could be mistaken for a stripper pole. Especially, if the 16 year-old girl has a fan base built on the backs of young impressionable, grade school and tween girls who just-so-happen to want to be like her.

Ah, so what's a parent to do? In my book, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter, I address the precarious balance that we, as parents must find to "protect" our daughters without going overboard with so many rigid limitations that we end up "provoking them to wrath." (Eph. 6:4) I imagine that most reasonable parents will draw a line in the sand if their daughters are begging in the junior's department to buy the Miley-inspired shredded-t with attached mesh bra to wear to the upcoming school dance. Where it gets tricky is the shady gray area in between. Do we put a ban on the Hannah Montana lunchboxes or watching her made-for-tweens show on The Disney Channel? Or what about her catchy pop songs? I for one, happen to love her song, "The Climb" and unashamedly bought it off iTunes when it came out. I even sing to it in my car, that is, until my kids make me stop.

And speaking of gray areas, my daughter just recently mentioned that she wants to see Miley in concert this next year. She's 19 and a sweet Christian girl with a good head on her shoulders. At 19, she is old enough to discern the gray areas and self-monitor without me breathing down her neck at every pass. And I feel quite certain that she is spiritually mature enough to enjoy a Miley Cyrus concert without feeling a need to pole dance at the next frat party. But what's acceptable for my daughter, may not be what's best for your daughter. Only you can decide where to draw the line with your own daughter. Some girls are more impressionable than others. Some girls are young for their age, while others behave well beyond their years. And some girls, due to variables outside of their control, crave more attention from the opposite sex.

I have been ranting for years about the sexualization of our girls to channel their "inner hooker" and do whatever it takes to capture male attention. This anything-but-subtle brain washing begins at a very young age and unless parents take a proactive position, you can be assured that your daughter will be impacted at some level. Chalk up the Miley pole dance/balancing act as another tally mark in the column of casualties for our girls. Which is exactly why it's important to start the conversations now. Keep the lines of communication open with your daughter. Don't bury your head in the sand when it comes to these issues or bark off a default "no" that can in the end, leave your daughter frustrated and pondering rebellion in the years to come. You will make mistakes along the way. Lord knows, I did. Sometimes, you will grant too much permission and other times, you won't grant enough. Have the courtesy to explain the "why" behind your rules and limitations. And have the courage to apologize when you go overboard.

I address the "protect, but not provoke" parenting plight in the DVD session for Week 2 of my 5 Conversations Bible study. My desire to adapt the 5 Conversations book into a workbook for group study was to see mothers have a support group to discuss many of the challenges they face in raising daughters in today's challenging culture. In fact, it may very well be the only Bible study on the market where thong underwear is discussed in a DVD session! (Those of you with younger girls, take a deep breath. Those of us with older girls will get you through this!) Moms, we can't blame our girls for the state of our culture, nor should we be shocked when they express a natural desire to want to "fit in." Surely, we remember our own desperate need to fit in throughout the tween and teen years.

I feel great compassion for those of you with younger girls. When my daughter was in the grade school to young tween years (1990's), she played with American Girl dolls and obsessed over Ariel from "The Little Mermaid." For heavens sake, Ariel's worst offense was a bare mermaid midriff which was arguably, the status quo for under-the-sea fashion. It doesn't even make the radar up next to the Britney era that followed. My daughter grew up back when Disney branded animated cartoon characters, not destined-to-fall-off-their-pedestal-and-take-our-kids-down-with-them tweens and teens.

And maybe that's the lesson that we, as parents need to learn. When it comes to influencing our children, no one (Christian, virgin-pledging, or otherwise), should be placed too high on a role-model pedestal. If we refuse to prop them up, we won't have a big a mess to clean up if they fall down. It's that simple.

College drop-off #4 (Part Two)

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:26:00 +0000

Get a load of my goof-ball smile in the self-portrait taken above. It's almost looks like I'm mumbling through clenched teeth, "Smile and pretend like we're having fun, honey." Oh but wait. Maybe it's because that's exactly what I was mumbling when the picture was taken. Because two-day driving trips are SO much fun, especially when two giant Pottery Barn floor cushions block the view out your back windshield for 860 straight miles. That's not stressful or anything. Of course, the alternative of leaving them behind was just not an option. Every mother of a daughter knows that college is all about the floral printed duvet cover with matching shabby chic balloon valance and coordinated floor cushions. I mean seriously, we have our priorities straight in this household.

On Monday, we drove from 8:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. and ended up as far as Mobile, Alabama. By then, we had had our fill of fast food and convenient store cuisine, so we decided to treat ourselves to a Cracker Barrel feast. Now, let me pause here for a minute and interject that the Cracker Barrels along the I-10 corridor from Austin to Destin, Florida, bring back quite the memories for me. I got a little teary-eyed when I walked into the restaurant in Mobile and had an instant flashback of a family trip we made to the beach back in the summer of 1997. If you had children under the age of 12 at that time, you might remember the Beanie Baby craze that erupted in that year. Good mothers scoured hotel and hospital gift shops in search of the rare, retired creatures to add to their little munchkin's treasure trove. And really good mothers convinced their husbands to stop at every Cracker Barrel along the 1-10 feeder road so their kids could hock their entire allowance and draw against their future allowances for the next ten years just to purchase the bean bag critters.

God help you if you stood in the path of a good mother when a load of retired critters would unexpectedly show up on the shelf at the local Cracker Barrel. Move Pa-Paw and his walker to a corner and take shelter because that same good mother would show no mercy to anyone who dared to cross her path, literally. She wouldn't hesitate to mow you down and claw your eyes out in an attempt to grab up a Chops the Lamb with 4th generation tags, especially if there were other good mothers on her heels and breathing down her neck. Never mind that Chops the Lamb has now been retired to my Yorkie's dog pen and down-graded to a chew toy. It was an embarrassing season of life for me, but a memory all the same. And if that was your Pa-Paw that I frightened at the Cracker Barrel along I-10 in 1997, please apologize on my behalf. I'm happy to pick up the tab for a bag of salt water taffy on his next visit to the Cracker Barrel. That is, if his dentures can handle it. Paige was only seven years old at the time and we got a good laugh over the memory while sitting at our table waiting for our food. My how time flies...

The following day, we arrived in Auburn and unloaded our bags at the hotel. Our assigned move-in time wasn't until 7 a.m. the following morning, which meant we had plenty of time to hit the local Target and TJ Maxx and buy more stuff. And then we spent a good half hour in the parking lot shoving that stuff into the empty spaces our suitcases had previously filled before unloading them at the hotel. Fun times. The next morning, Paige and I successfully managed to wiggle back into our assigned 30x50 inch crawl spaces in the car and made our way over to her sorority hall to begin the move-in process. My husband stayed behind in Austin this year and my oldest son (who also attends Auburn) conveniently took an impromptu beach trip with a friend, so Paige and I were on our own for the move-in.

Now, if you've never done a college move-in before, let me assure you that nothing can prepare you for this experience. Imagine the entire inventory of a Container Store being dumped onto the lawn in front of the dorm/sorority hall in a matter of minutes. It was a sea of Vera Bradley patterns and I am now convinced that Vera is worth more than Oprah. She owes her fortune to sorority girls across America, or at least their parents who are no doubt, footing the bill. To get a proper perspective of move-in, now imagine that same inventory of goods making its way up a narrow stairwell, loaded on the backs of parents, girls, brothers, and boyfriends as they bump off of walls, railings, sometimes shuffling only a few short steps at a time. Not even Jillian Michaels and her 30 Day Shred workout can prepare you for a college move-in of this caliber. In fact, I have decided that moving a daughter into college is the equivalent of shredding a full 30 days. I'm not sure if my arms are sore from the multiple trips of carrying her loot up two flights of stairs or swiping my credit card to pay for all the loot. And Ms. Jillian can take a hike, cuz I'm taking the next 29 days of shredding off. Move-in was on Wednesday morning and my muscles are still screaming in pain as I type this two days later.

But alas, no pain, no gain. I am happy to unveil the before and after photos of Paige's room for the next year. Take a look:

Before and ....

After!

A close-up

Paige's roommates'rooms:

It looks like a stinkin' Bed and Breakfast! Of course, true to his nature, my frugal husband suggested we rent her room out in an attempt to break-even on the costs incurred. I plan to be out of town when the Visa statement arrives end of this month. But seriously, I'm happy to report that saying good-bye was not nearly as difficult this year as it was last year when we dropped her off for her freshman year. I only teared up twice and once was over having the corner of a wooden TV stand rammed into my calf in the "stairwell of hell." Maybe it was because I was so exhausted on Wednesday evening when it came time to hug her good-bye that I just plain forgot to be sad. I flew home yesterday, and this morning, it's just now beginning to sink in that two of my children are missing. Hayden is at two-a-days for football right now and the house is quiet. Very, very quiet. Perhaps, a bit too quiet. I think I feel a tear coming on...

Francis Chan, Pastor-of-many-talents

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 12:58:00 +0000

Dear Francis Chan,

My home church is currently without a senior pastor and I would like to encourage you to apply for the position. The clip above is certain to impress our pastoral search committee and your stellar singing and choreography skillz (especially the creativity you displayed at minute marker 2.35) are likely to land you the job on the spot. The way I see it, anyone who can challenge the notion that Christians are boring and uptight and leave folks with a more positive impression overall, can likely pack a church on Sunday and leave 'em coming back for more. I realize that our congregation is probably a bit smaller than what you are accustomed to, but a huge bonus to the job is that my church is located in the fabulous city of Austin, Texas. Our motto in Austin is "Keep Austin Weird" and call it a hunch, but I think you would fit in just fine here. In fact, after watching the clip above, I am convinced that you belong here.

I took it upon myself to do a little research on your current location of Simi Valley, California and feel that Austin has much more to offer. For example, according to Wikipedia's overview of Simi Valley, you are in a high risk area for wildfires and earthquakes. In Austin, your greatest risk is running into Leslie the vagrant crossdresser (and two-time mayoral candidate). Leslie has a habit of hanging out on the corner of Congress and 6th Street (downtown) during prime business hours, dressed in nothing more than a leopard print thong and stilletos. A scary occurence no doubt, but not nearly as scary as falling off into the ocean. Since Simi Valley is just a few short miles from Los Angeles, I doubt that Austin (or Leslie) would be much of a culture shock for your family.

Should you wish to discuss this position further, please don't hesitate to contact me. It would be an honor to sit under your teaching. Bravo brother, for keeping it real.

Sincerely,

Vicki Courtney
(One of your many podcast followers)

P.S. I'm reading your book, Crazy Love right now and really enjoying it. Congrats on recently winning the 2009 Retailers Choice Award!

College drop-off #4 (Part One)

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:35:00 +0000

Just moments ago, I waved good-bye to my oldest child as he backed out of the driveway to begin a two-day journey back to Auburn University. Heavy sigh. I can't believe that this is his last and final year (said prayerfully with eyes cast heavenward). And for the record, this also marks the first time his father and I have not made the drive to help him with the move. Here's why he didn't need us this go 'round:

Isn't she adorable? Ryan's "special friend" arrived a few days ago to meet our family for the first time. After a three day mega-dose of Courtney-family-crazy, I knew she was a keeper when Ryan and Hayden capped off the last night of her visit by turning off the lights, turning up the music, and initiating an impromptu dance party, complete with a flashing strobe light. She had a choice in that very moment and God-love-her, she chose to dance rather than run from the house screaming. She gets bonus points for patiently enduring my attempt at the robot when I made an unexpected (and uninvited) appearance at the party. (You try sitting still on the couch when Mr. Roboto is playing in the next room. I dare you.)

Seriously though, no child should have to endure such an embarrassing display from a parent, much less, said child's "special friend" who's visiting said child's home and meeting said child's parents for the first time. I even offered to pay for a session of hypnosis in an attempt to erase the sad display from their minds. However, I do feel that I should get some credit for resisting the urge to moonwalk. Actually, it was next on my list, but a blinding headache induced by the strobe light no doubt, forced me to leave the room after all of about 60 seconds. Ryan seemed releived.

This Monday, my daughter and I will begin the two-day journey to Auburn, Alabama. I'll try to post a "College drop-off #4 (Part Two)" update with pictures when I return. This will be year two for her and needless to say, I plan to treasure every moment I can and make lots of memories along the way. Which reminds me that I need to put that strobe light on the packing list...and some Advil.

File this under possible VBS craft projects

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:01:00 +0000

My youngest son, Hayden (16), volunteered to help out at our local church's Vacation Bible School this week and arrived home this afternoon sporting some interesting forehead graffiti. When asked for an explanation, he matter-of-factly explained that he had been assigned to help lead a group comprised of nine 5th grade girls. No other explanation was necessary...

Introducing my new workout buddy...

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 20:45:00 +0000

Several months ago, someone sent me a link to the above clip featuring Matt Chandler, pastor of The Village Church (Highland Village, Texas). Liking what I heard, I googled him to see if any of his sermons were on podcast. I was in luck and after listening to a few, I liked what I heard even more and proceeded to load up my iPod with over 60 of his sermons. Which I guess officially makes me some kind of Matt-Chandler-podcast-groupie. But no worries -- I have no immediate plans to stock up on MC screenprint tee's or show up at his service and wave a lighter in the crowd. At least, not yet. Just recently, I've taken to walking/running three miles in the evenings 3-4 times a week and it's during this time that I listen to Matt. I guess you could say that he's my new workout buddy. (Disclaimer to harsh legalists who may read more into that last sentence: I do not know Matt. Matt does not know me. I am married. Matt is married. We do not literally "workout" together. So take a breath. And follow it with a chill pill.)

Prior to finding Matt's sermons on podcast, my workout playlist-of-choice was a 70's/80's mix of classics from Boston, Chicago, Journey, The Eagles and even a little Manilow thrown in. Seriously, who doesn't want to cooldown to "Looks Like We Made It?". (That question ought to officially scare off my dozen or so male readers!) I realize that my secular playlist confession may come as a shock to a handful of you (and by handful, I mean about 2.36 people) who read this blog and mistakenly assumed that a Christian author with a blog called "Virtue Alert" would only jog to a playlist of hymns and wear a God's Gym t-shirt (long-sleeved). Call it a hunch, but I bet you're the same 2.36 people who submitted snarky comments on my Michael Jackson post from a couple of weeks ago. Your harsh works of displeasure over my admission to 1) attending a MJ concert in 1984 and 2) actually having the nerve to enjoy it, left me humming MJ's tune, Black or White" for the remainder of the day. Not sure why?

But, back to Matt. One thing I appreciate about his delivery style is that he's engaging enough to distract me from otherwise, stroking out in the steamy, 100+ degree Texas-heat. He has a real gift for story-telling and it's not uncommon for me to literally laugh out loud during my run, which has been known to garner a few suspicious stares from fellow passers-by. He's not afraid to address some hard spiritual truths that are often ignored from the pulpit. Truths, mind you, that many pastors today steer clear of addressing for fear of scaring folks away. On a more serious note, God has used Matt's virtual preaching to give me some much-needed direction as of late. For the past several months, I've felt like I've been in a holding pattern of sorts as God has patiently been tweaking some ares of my life that suffice it to say, were in much need of tweaking. It's been a difficult season to say the least. Another post for another day, I suppose.

What a blessing that technology allows us to access sermons from some of the best preachers on the planet with just a few clicks of a mouse and best of all, free of charge. I encourage you to take advantage of Matt's sermons, as well as others offered on iTunes. Load them up on your iPod and listen while you exercise, sit by the poolside, or travel. You can click here for a library of Matt's sermons. They are also offered for free on iTunes, which is where I go to load them to my iPod. Some of my favorites include his five part series on "The Great Cause" (April/May) and his three part series on "Repentance" (March). For the record, his Star Wars story in "The Great Cause" (Part 2), won the respect of my 16 year-old son and made him a devoted Matt Chandler fan. If you are currently without a church home and live anywhere near Denton, Flower Mound, or Highland Village, you can click here to find out more about The Village Church.

This weekend, I will be in Flower Mound visiting family and I am planning to stop by for a service at The Village on Saturday evening. Having logged over twenty hours of Matt's preaching, it will be nice to finally put a face with the voice. (This better not be the weekend he's on VACATION!) So Matt, if you ever happen to read this post, thanks for being my "workout preacher." It's an honor to sit under (jog to?) your teaching and be a part of your congregation, albeit virtually. If you are there this Saturday, I'll be the wacky lady waving my lighter in the crowd and trying to start-up the wave...

If you have a daughter and live near Austin...

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:59:00 +0000

...please consider yourself invited! For more information about this event, click here. If you have questions about the event, feel free to email my Assistant, Shawna Peterson. Hope to see you there!

We're overdue for a give-away!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:31:00 +0000

UPDATE: WE HAVE WINNERS! Congratulations to:

Angie128 - Me and My Good Life - http://meandmygoodlife.blogspot.com/
Mindy - mindymc5@gmail.com - http://philippians4verse8.blogspot.com/
J. Davis - j6davis@gci.net

This give-away is a bit random in nature, but I was inspired by seeing this on Facebook. Grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 56. Scroll down to the 5th sentence on the page and copy and paste it into your reply on this post. Don't forget to leave your email if you don't have a blog profile I.D., so we can find you if you win. One week from today, we will draw for 3 winners and each will receive a signed copy of my newest release, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter. In fact, I'll let you pick between the book or the new Bible study workbook. Best of luck!

Oh, and just for fun, I turned to page 56 of 5 Conversations and here is the 5th sentence: "And for the record, if the pediatrician isn't worried, you shouldn't be either." Pretty random!

Not your grandma's wedding

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 23:57:00 +0000

I found the following article from Newsweek.com regarding new bridal trends rather depressing:

Like a Virgin No More
Why modern brides are opting for racy gowns, wild bachelorette parties and sexy Maxim-style pre-wedding photo shoots.
Jun 4, 2009

Two decades ago, when young girls wondered how brides were supposed to look and behave, they'd most likely conclude—with some prompting from Cinderella—that on their big day they'd be a princess. They'd be blushing, virginal and wrapped from head to toe in tulle and lace.

So why is it that these days, some brides seem to be taking their cues more from Jessica Rabbit than Cinderella? More vamp than virgin, they're having bachelorette parties that are as raunchy as their fiancés' sendoffs. They're selecting cleavage- or lower-back-baring bridal gowns that might get a gasp from conservative relatives. "A big-selling style is a sheer lace corset midriff," says Millie Martini Bratten, the editor in chief of Brides magazine. "It's clearly meant to look like you're seeing through someone's shirt." And today's wife-to-be is hiring photographers for what are called "boudoir shoots," where they pose Maxim magazine-style in lingerie or nothing at all and give the prints to their grooms—a trend that Bratten says began about three years ago. (Click here to read the remainder of this article.)

The article goes on to cite the trend of cohabitation as a contributing factor to the escalation in bridal trends that seem more centered on lust than love:

Couples are also living together before they get married, of course. About six out of 10 brides check their single lives at the door of a shared apartment years before their wedding day. In response, sociologists say, the sexier dresses and the handoff of pin-up pictures—which was introduced into the wedding prep about three years ago—are ways to add spark to an already-established couple's sex life and mark the marriage as a monumental life change.

"When a girl left her parents' house to be married, she was making an enormous transition," Wallace says. "The wedding celebration was to help her negotiate the change. Now very often there is no functional difference between marriage and living together." And some of the new emphasis on sexuality is an effort to mark the occasion in a new way.

In 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter, I devote an entire conversation to the topic of marriage and motherhood. As part of the necessary "conversation," I encourage mothers to candidly discuss the consequences of living together prior to marriage before their daughters leave the nest. Many Christian girls are justifying the decision to live together prior to marriage, some even claiming it is a necessary cost-saving measure in today's economy. The devaluation of the marriage ceremony is only one consequence of playing house before the wedding. There is a direct link between cohabitation and marital problems on down the road (separation, divorce, infidelity, etc...). We owe it to our daughters to give them all the facts lest they buy into the popular opinion of the day.

How about you? Have you noticed this trend of raunchy bachelorette parties, racy bridal gowns, or one-time "good Christian girls" shacking up before their wedding day? Maybe it's because I'm in the Bible belt, but I've not witnessed the trend of racy bridal gowns at the half a dozen or so weddings I've attended over the past couple of years. They have erred on the side of innocent rather than inappropriate. Now, senior prom dresses are another story. I think we'll save that topic for another day!

Looking for a new routine?

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:48:00 +0000

Being a Christian is not about "playing it safe." I've never been one to hug the beam, but I have been guilty of resorting to the same-old dull routine. Lately, I've felt like God has been nudging me to upgrade my routine with some bold, new moves. It's time to throw a cartwheel or two. I could end up with some bumps and bruises along they way, but hey, it sure beats hugging the beam. Wanna join me?

The Michael Jackson I will remember...

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 13:49:00 +0000

On a hot summer evening in July, 1984, I was among the spectators in a sold-out crowd of 40,000 people at the Texas Stadium in Dallas, Texas who had come to see Michael Jackson perform live. I was 20 years old and it was the summer before my junior year at the University of Texas. As a high schooler, I had fallen in love with Michael Jackson's music while driving around (cruising the Sonic in Irving, Texas) on weekend nights with my friends and listening to a Motown cassette tape. I knew every word to "I'll Be There," and "Rock With You." Thriller released during my freshman year of college and I doubt there is anyone my age who didn't watch the music video with sheer amazement.

When the Victory Tour was announced in 1984, it was a no-brainer that I would go. The only question was Dallas or Houston? I'm glad I chose Dallas because it just so happened to be the only stop where Eddie Van Halen joined Michael and his brothers onstage to perform his signature solo on the song "Beat It." Oh yes he did.

While I'm sad that Michael's life took the turn that it did, I am glad that I was able to witness his tremendous God-given talent up close on that evening in 1984. The clip above is from the Victory Tour. If you're my age, you might enjoy seeing some of the people in the crowd. The 80's were grand. Regardless of your age, you will want to see Michael's dance moves at 3.35 and 5.46 in the clip above. The place went nuts when he started moon-walking across the stage. I'm sure I was among those screaming in the crowd. My friends and I had logged many hours attempting to duplicate the move in our white ankle socks on slick kitchen floors.

A few fun trivia facts about the Victory Tour: (according to Wikipedia)

The Jacksons' Victory Tour was the group's final concert tour of the United States and Canada in 1984. The tour commenced on 6 July in Kansas City and concluded on 9 December in Los Angeles.

The tour reunited all Jackson brothers including Michael, who had just released the highly successful Thriller album in 1982, two years previous to the tour, and Jermaine Jackson who had not recorded or toured with his brothers since they left Motown in 1975.

The tour consisted of 55 concerts to approximately 2 million fans.

The tour reportedly grossed $75 million and set a new record for the then-largest grossing tour.

Michael's whole share of the proceeds from the tour were donated to charity.

The set list did not include "Thriller" itself. Despite rumours suggesting Thriller was not included for spiritual reasons, Michael reportedly was not satisfied with the way the song sounded live.

There was a huge ticket controversy surrounding the tour. Fans wanting to see the concert had to buy the tickets in blocks of four (at a cost of $30 per ticket), with a limit of one block of four per address. Tickets had to be paid for using a US Post Office money order, using the original application form found in participating newspapers and copies of forms were not allowed. Because of these requirements, some post offices had run out of money orders. How I managed to jump through all those hoops as a scattered college student still remains a mystery to me. I do recall driving to the post office by campus nearly every day the week prior to the concert to see if my tickets had arrived. They arrived the day before the concert and we piled into my car the following day and made the road trip from Austin to Dallas. And boy am I glad we did. I will never forget that Michael Jackson. The white sequined glove...moon-walking across the stage...Beat It...Billie Jean...Rock With You...Shake Your Body. Never.

What's your favorite MJ song?

NOTE: As an update to this post, please note that by sharing a post that centers on my nostalgia associated with attending a Michael Jackson concert in 1984, I am in no way endorsing or excusing his unconscionable behavior in the years that followed. I realize that there are many opinions regarding Michael Jackson, the person. I too, am greatly disturbed by the allegations that followed a decade of more later. I felt it necessary to clarify this point after receiving a comment from a concerned reader who felt the post might be misunderstood. The post was intended to be a celebration of the music that undeniably marked an era...not the man that followed.

A step at a time

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:35:00 +0000

Last week, God answered a prayer and delivered some much-needed wisdom in a rather creative way. I have a dear friend who is a new believer with somewhat of a similar testimony to my own. (Translation: A one-time doubter who was previously critical of Christianity and viewed it as a crutch for the weak). It has been exciting to watch my friend's journey of discovery from the sidelines and witness God's relentless pursuit of his heart along the way. I count it a privilege to be one of many "gardeners" who have been granted the task of planting and watering seeds of salvation into his life. (1 Cor. 3:6)

Witnessing my friend's journey has served as a reminder that we are all at different places in the journey. Too often, I write and speak to my audience without taking the time to filter the presentation of the message through the eyes of a skeptic or new believer. It's easy to become desensitized when talking with others and assume that we're all tracking along in the Christian journey at the same pace. I cringe at the thought of how many times I may have launched into a mini-sermonette with someone, seasoned with churchy-sounding lingo only to be met with a blank stare in return.

Last week, I checked in on my friend to see how he was doing. He expressed that he was experiencing some discouragement, which is all too common for a new believer. Seeing the length of the Christian journey before him after coming out of the starting blocks strong, he found himself overwhelmed and frustrated with his lack of progress. Similar to those maps you find in amusement parks that conveniently mark "YOU ARE HERE" and provide the route to your targeted destination, my friend was caught off guard by the distance from point A to Z. I encouraged him to stay the course and more importantly, prayed that God would further encourage him.

After praying for him, I took a few minutes to try and remember back some 24 years ago when I found myself in the same place in the Christian race as a new believer. Since I often mark up my Bibles in the margins, I felt compelled to grab my first study Bible off the shelf that I carried in my first five years of being a new Christian. After brushing a layer of dust off the cover, I opened the Bible and began to fan through the pages. It is not uncommon for me to find notes tucked away in my old Bibles, some written on offering envelopes or old event program guides, marking my journey along the way. As I flipped through the Bible that marked the beginning of my journey, I found many notes written in the margins, but only one loose piece of paper tucked in the pages.

I could hardly believe it when I read the title of a page that I had torn out of an old "Daily Bread" devotional: "A step at a time." As the only scrap piece of paper tucked in my Bible, it obviously had significant meaning at that time in my life. The key verses were from Colossians 2:6-7 which says, "As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude." The first paragraph of the devotion reads:

Scripture portrays the Christian life as a process of growth in which we advance from one stage to the next. From spiritual infancy to maturity, from milk to strong meat, from being rooted in Christ to being firmly established. We may want to be grown up all at once, but we must learn to take one step at a time.

What I found most interesting is that the entry was dated Wednesday, June 7th. Having become a Christian in 1985, I wondered if perhaps I had torn the page out within the first year of my journey. I pulled up an old calendar to solve the mystery and discovered that June 7th fell on a Wednesday in 1989, not quite four years after I had begun the Christian journey! Four years? Shouldn't I have felt like an old pro by then? Probably not, since some 20 years later, I still don't feel like an old pro!

As I reflected on my state of mind in 1989, some five years after making my leap of faith in 1985 as a single college student, I quickly realized why the devotion must have spoken to my heart at that time. I was now a married, stay-at-home mom of a one-year old and probably feeling way in over my head. I was surrounded by seasoned believers (including my own husband) and no doubt, I was feeling frustrated over my own self-perceived lack of progress. I guarantee you that I couldn't have spelled "Colossians" at the time, much less found it without looking it up in the table of contents in the front of the Bible! And trust me, there are some books in the Old Testament that I am STILL having to resort to the table of contents to find even today!

It's been two decades since I left that devotional page in my Bible and yet its wisdom still speaks to my heart today. While I have certainly matured as a believer, I am far from having my act together, so to speak. In fact, I have found that the longer I am a believer, the further it seems I have to go in the journey. Oh sure, I can distinguish between the Old and New Testaments now, spell "Colossians," flip to Bible passages much faster, and have an arsenal of Bible verses memorized, but I am still slow at times to apply God's truths to my everyday life.

My friend made the statement that his progress seems more like taking "baby steps." I think if we're all honest, we can relate to feeling like we're taking "baby steps" throughout various legs of the race that mark the journey to Christian maturity. Sometimes our progress will seem slower than at other times, but it is essential that we keep moving forward with our eyes fixed on the finish line. And for the record, I wouldn't be one bit surprised if twenty years from now, my friend has logged many hours cheering others along in the journey, myself included! I can hardly wait. ☺

The demasculation of Scout, the wonder-pup

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:25:00 +0000

Clearly, we have way too much time on our hands this summer...

The princess movement: Are we raising a generation of royal pains?

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:50:00 +0000

Recently, the Wall Street Journal featured an article entitled, "Bringing Up Princess: Turning Girls Into Narcissists." I read the article with great interest, particularly since I address this trend in my book, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter. Here is an excerpt of the article:

For only $44 at Nordstrom, you can dress your toddler in a tank top that declares her to be a "Juicy Couture Princess" -- that is, someone whose parents can afford to buy designer shirts that will end up stained with ketchup or jelly. And until recently, numerous Saks stores maintained Club Libby Lu, a spa for 5- to 13-year-old girls offering princess makeovers with tube tops and miniskirts that left girls looking more like Real Housewives than Cinderella.

Call it trickle-down narcissism. Today, even as the economic crisis continues, many middle-class parents aspire to give their daughters the best of everything, "the best" meaning the most expensive. A quick tour around suburbia will show princess-themed bedrooms (the rhinestoned-and-feathered kind, not the cartoon-character kind) and ostentatious birthday parties, as well as pedigreed dogs being toted in designer bags by 10-year-olds. Maintaining a diva daughter has become one more way to one-up the Joneses. (Click here to read the remainder of the article).

In 5 Conversations, I offer a few solutions to help princess-proof your daughter...at least from the type that borders on unhealthy indulgence. Here is a snippet from the chapter "Princess today, royal pain tomorrow" that focuses on raising a Proverbs 31 Princess:

By looking to Proverbs 31, we get an idea of the type of woman (young and old) who is esteemed in the eyes of God. Amazingly, she has a little princess in her, having an affinity for fine linen and purple (a color often associated with royalty). However, when you take a close look at the Proverbs 31 passage, two qualities emerge that fly in the face of the princess mentality. Rather than tell you straight out what those qualities are, let me show you some key verses and see if you can recognize them. As you are reading the following verses, what quality comes to mind?

Verse 13: She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
Verse 14: She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
Verse 16: She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
Verse 17: She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
Verse 18: She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
Verse 19: In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
Verse 22: She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Verse 24: She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

Needless to say, “entitlement” was not a word in the virtuous woman’s vocabulary. Clothed in fine linen or not, this woman was a hard worker who was far more likely to have dirt under her nails than a tiara propped upon her head. Let’s stop for a minute and examine some tangible ways we can instill the value of hard work within our daughters. First of all, we can put our daughters to work around the house and give them regular, age-appropriate chores. From the time my children were very young, they had jobs assigned to them that matched their age level and ability. From about the age of eight, they have been responsible for doing their own laundry. If they run out of clean clothes, they have no one to blame but themselves. In addition, they take rotations doing the dishes and some of the yard work.

Once my children were old enough to work, they are responsible for depositing their paychecks and keeping track of their balance. Some of the money they earn from working is put aside in a savings account, another ten percent is taken out (by them) for a tithe at church, and the rest can be used at their discretion for clothing, electronics, movies, and other outside leisure activities. Once they are in college, they are required to put aside some of their summer earnings to go toward some of their college expenses such as books or outside activities.

Take a look at some other verses in the Proverbs 31 passage and see if you can recognize another critical quality in raising a virtuous young woman.

Verse 15: She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
Verse 20: She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
Verse 27: She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Again, the verses hardly point to a self-indulgent princess who puts her own needs or desires before everyone else. Ironically, the description of the virtuous woman is the very antithesis of the princess attitude our culture breeds today. Children, adolescents, and teens are already prone to thinking life is all about them. Unfortunately, there will be many who grow up and fail to shed the “it’s all about me” attitude. Unless, that is, we help them do so along the way.

I have been personally convicted about my own “inner princess” that often holds me back from getting my hands dirty and feet moving when it comes to serving others. I have confessed to my daughter that far too often I model an attitude that is “too much princess” and “too little servant.” In an effort to put my tiara aside and learn to say “no” to myself when it comes to my own wants and “yes” to others who have true needs, I suggested to my daughter that we sponsor a child together through Compassion International. My daughter chose a little boy from Thailand and we split the monthly sponsorship fee, which amounted to $18 for each of us. I figure I spend that much on my stupid grande vanilla latte habit and she spends at least that much on her shoe habit (my fault on that one, too!).

Expose your daughter to the blessing of serving others in Jesus’ name. If she’s young, volunteer in a soup kitchen or sponsor needy families at Christmastime and take her with you to pick out the gifts. Find a mission trip that is kid-friendly and take her outside her normal comfort zone. The mission trip my church makes to the Texas/Mexico border several times a year allows involvement of families with kids of all ages. Even if it is impossible for you to physically go or financially give at this time, model the importance of praying with your daughter for those who fall into the “needy” category. There is nothing wrong with telling your daughter she’s a princess and treating her like one on occasion. The key will be emphasizing servant-hood above princess-hood. After all, tiaras were never meant to be worn full-time.

What are some steps you are taking to princess-proof you daughter from becoming a full-blown royal pain?

Shred-head update: Let's hear it for the boys!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicki Courtney) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:06:00 +0000

My youngest son gave level 3 of the 30 Day Shred a try recently and willingly admitted that he was sore the following day. Mind you, the lad plays three sports and is in great shape. Next up: His older brother attempts level 3 a few days later:

Ryan was pouring sweat by the end of the workout and also confessed that it was much tougher than he had imagined. Be reminded, these are the same boys who have talked non-stop smack to me during my two months of shredding with taunts about how easy the workout looked. Since these photos were taken, they have yet to return for another Jillian torture-fest. However, my ever-faithful trainer, Scout, (seen consoling Ryan in the photo above right), remains by my side, cheering me on through each and every workout.

I continue to do the workout about 4-5 times a week and alternate back and forth between Level 1 and Level 3. I have also incorporated walking on my off days, but with the temps in Texas topping 100 as of late, I'm hit or miss. Strangely, I did break the weight barrier after several months of only losing 1-3 pounds. As I've mentioned before, losing weight was not my goal, but to my surprise, I weighed in a few days ago and had lost another couple of pounds. But, here is the best part: I went swimsuit shopping a few days ago to take advantage of the newly mark-downed prices and I actually enjoyed it! Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd type. :)

Aside from the obvious benefit of having more energy and endurance throughout the day, one of the biggest rewards has been enjoying the way my clothes now fit. My arms and legs are toned enough to wear sleeveless shirts and shorts without feeling self-conscious. This past week, we've had temperatures hover around 102/103, so good luck surviving outdoors for more than ten minutes in a pair of denim blue jeans if you live in a city like Austin.

Well, that about does it for my Shred update. Now, it's YOUR turn. Where are you in the Shred journey?