I’m a very stubborn individual. I know it all and more of it than you. It’s a flaw in my personal life but works well for me in the business world (though it can come off the wrong way).

My little girl is the same way. It’s actually taught me a lot about myself and how I treat others when watching her treat me the same way. We learn from each other.

Today, while getting around, Asher was in some kind of mood. Thankfully my wife is far more patient than I because I could NOT deal with that today. As I set him on the ground, the screaming grew louder, and so did the “naughty words” from my mouth. It was not one of my greater moments to say the least.

Shorty after that, Jadyn approached me with such grace and precision. She even looked older as she firmly said, “Daddy, you can’t get so frustrated with Asher.”

WOW.

There are very few women I know that can tell me off so beautifully and I live with both of them.

As proud of a man I am, I was humbled in my office today by a little girl we have to remind to flush the toilet and wash her hands after going to the bathroom. In that very moment in time, Jadyn & I were on the same level. We connected. After all, we think/operate in the same way.

I’ll screw up again – without a doubt. But I’ll never forget the lesson I learned today from my daughter.

Andy is in town this week, which is always fun. Every time we get together we always talk about the various entrepreneurial leaps we should have made over the years. Mostly minor stuff, but stuff that would have been fun to see where it/they could go.

Today, as I drove into work, I thought about some of the risks I’ve taken over the years and how they’ve paid off. Sure I’ve made some bad decisions in my lifetime, but I’ve never been afraid to step out and jump. I quickly made a connection to my little guy, who is on the brink of walking. I know its a very basic connection, but at the core of it all – he is learning to take one of the first major risks in his lifetime. Its interesting to watch him battle through it…to watch the determination on his face, and the utter excitement and joy he gets when we cheer him on.

And much like now as he manages a few steps only to fall again, I know he’ll take a few risks in his lifetime that don’t pan out – but just like he is doing now, I pray he’s learned enough to know how to pick himself up and start walking all over again.

Today was one of those days that, as a parent, I just wanted to throw in the towel. Asher would not stop crying, Jadyn would not stop asking questions, the dog got in the way of everything, and I racked myself in the junk trying to do help my wife and sweep the floor (I know, crazy, right?).

I think we are all supposed to have those days on occasion. They help put things into perspective and help us grow a bit. They make me realize that even when I think I’ve had a hard day at work, I know my wife’s was probably harder. They make me realize how great my parents had to have been to put up with me and my little brother and sister.

They make me think.

So no, I’m not really throwing in the towel, or figuring out how I can leave my kids at my parents house without them knowing. But I am thinking….

growing….

learning….

That’s better than giving up all together, right?

Below is an email I received from Asher (Andrea posing as Asher) while on my NY trip this week. I love my wife and how creative she can be. This was a much needed break from an otherwise CRAZY schedule in the hustle and bustle of the city. Enjoy a good look into “Asher’s World”….

Daddy,

I had quite the morning this morning, and I just wanted to tell you all about it. First, I woke up in a pretty bad mood. I was sort of mad at mom because I woke up around 4 and really wanted her to rock me for the rest of the night, but she shoved me back in my crib after about 5 minutes and made me go back to sleep on my own. This morning, once I had a full belly and a clear mind, I decided to forgive her for her mistake. I told her this in a half hour dialogue I worked up this morning and recited while sitting on the fireplace. Mom said she has never seen me so chatty. After this, I thought I should find some new ways to occupy my time, so I hit the half bath and spent some time lifting and dropping the toilet seat. When mom found me, so told me it was a bad idea and sort of dirty, although I am not sure why, and put me back in the living room. At this time, I spotted the leaves surrounding the lamps, I can’t believe I had never noticed them before, so I snagged one off the lamp and started eating it. Much to my chagrin, mom took that away from me as well. I sort of felt at this time that I was running out of options, so I headed out to explore our vast home, at which time I stumbled across mom’s curio cabinet. Let me tell you dad, there is some cool stuff in there, and right as I was getting ready to open the door to explore it’s many wonders, mom jumped in and gave me the big N.O. Seriously, what’s a boy to do? I was pretty bummed at this point as my quest for new fun had been seriously snuffed out. So, I spent a half hour pondering and attempting to open the locked cabinet under the kitchen sink. Then I had another brilliant idea, so I charged off to have myself a good climb on the stairs, only to find that mom had already blocked them. On my way back to my favorite cabinet, I attempted to climb in the cabinet mom keeps her purses in, but she told me no again and set me back in the living room, where I headed after another bundle of fun, the speaker cord. Just as I was getting ready to bite down, mom snagged it away and picked me up yet again. This time she deposited me by my refrigerator magnets. Feeling quite depressed, I grabbed my fridge farm tight and swayed to it’s comforting music, singing along with old mcdonald. Mom found this to be quite funny. How is that for cruel? Laughing at a man when he is down. Well, now I am off to play the guitar and see if it can’t heighten my spirits. I love you, Dad.

Asher

In the past 4 years, we have not made an effort to find time for each other – until this year. I decided that, without question, we would go out on a date – just the two of us – with no ulterior motive (i.e. running to the grocery or doing errands), with the intent to do it weekly. So far, we’ve managed to do that with the help of my parents, Andrea’s mom and sister (thank you all!). It has been absolutely wonderful to rediscover each other through dating (without all the awkwardness of actually dating).

We’ve gone to movies, out to dinner, stayed home and caught up on TiVo, sat out on the deck – and it all has been waaaay overdue. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and I love spending one-on-one time with them, but my marriage has to come first sometimes…otherwise it will all go to hell.

So as I spend the next 4 days on business in New York, I look forward to another date night at the close of this week. For all you marrieds out there, I’m curious to know how often you and your significant other go out on a date. For those that haven’t been out on a date in a while – plan to have one soon!

Click here if you can’t see the video.

So did you hear the one about the dude who sued the Oakland A’s for passing out floppy plaid sun hats from Macy’s? No? Well let me tell you what went down.

May 8th, 2004 – the Oakland A’s decided to put on a Mother’s Day promotion – you know, the whole fight breast cancer gig – 5K run, free mammograms and the first 7,500 women through the gate got floppy plaid sun hats from Macy’s. Well, this didn’t sit well with one Alfred G. Rava. The guy decided to freakin sue – and nearly won. “A judge has given preliminary approval to a $510,000 settlement — roughly half to lawyers and the rest to the “victims” — the poor, downtrodden gender-disadvantaged waifs like Rava who didn’t get their floppy Mother’s Day hats.”

So far, Rava is the only one complaining as there have been no other callers requesting to take part in the settlement, which would award them $50 in cash, two-for-one A’s tickets and a $25 Macy’s coupon. According to the EPSN article, Rava, an attorney from San Diego, has been involved in other suits. “He’s been part of more than 40 male anti-discrimination lawsuits, sometimes as the plaintiff, like in Oakland, and sometimes as the plaintiff’s attorney. He has sued Club Med for a ladies-only promotion. He’s sued the Angels for giving away a $1.45 tote bag to women in 2005. He has sued restaurants and nightclubs and theater companies.”

Rava actually labels himself as an activist for men’s rights – crazy right? I wasn’t aware there was a need for such a thing.

Where has this world gone? What ever happened to doing something nice for someone on their special day? Why do people in society always have to turn a good thing into bad thing? Why does everything always have to be fair?

These are the questions that will continue to eat at me until the world dramatically changes. As long as there are guys like Rava in the world, I fear I may not see that world in my lifetime.

To be truthful, I’m not exactly sure what it is. Maybe it’s the mornings – no rush, plenty of time for coffee while the kids play in the livingroom. Maybe it’s the Friday date nights with my wife. Maybe it’s the anticipation of a fresh new week.

I don’t know what it really is about the weekends, but I’ve learned to truly take them in. To recharge, relax and be. This weekend was one of those great weekends, and I’m looking forward to many more like it this summer!

thoughts?

Without a doubt, my favorite part of the day is dinner.  Not because I love food (because I do – thanks to my wife’s cooking), but because it is one of the few times during the day the entire family is together and on the same page.  We don’t really talk about anything terribly deep or exciting (seriously, I’ve got a 1 and 3 year old – sometimes our conversation at the table involves imaginary people – or random grunting noises if Asher is leading the conversation), but we talk to each other.  I get to hear about the all exciting things Jade did that day while my wife explains what she really did.  Asher enjoys crawling under the table, popping out from under the table just for a brief smile before heading over to my wife, only to start the process all over again.   I don’t have to think about work, or finances, or what I have to do later that day – I just get to enjoy how great I have it right now.

I don’t know how long we’ll be able to do dinner together every night, but you can be sure I’m enjoying every bit of it while I can.

Take some time to watch the live performance below, or read the lyrics below.

Jesus, Jesus, could you tell me what the problem is
With the world and all the people in it?
Because I’ve been hearing stories about the end of the world
But I’m in love with a girl and I don’t wanna leave her
And the television screams such hideous things
They’re talking about the war on the radio
They say the whole thing’s gonna blow
And we will all be left alone
No we’ll be dead and we won’t know what hit us

Jesus, Jesus, if you’re up there won’t you hear me
‘Cause I’ve been wondering if you’re listening for quite a while
And Jesus, Jesus, it’s such a pretty place we live in
And I know we fucked it up, please be kind
Don’t let us go out like the dinosaurs
Or blown to bits in a third world war
There are a hundred different things I’d still like to do
I’d like to climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower
Look up from the ground at a meteor shower
And maybe even raise a family

Jesus, Jesus, there are those that say they love you
But they have treated me so damn mean
And I know you said ‘forgive them for they know not what they do’
But sometimes I think they do
And I think about you
If all the heathens burn in hell, do all their children burn as well?
What about the Muslims and the gays and the unwed mothers?
What about me and all my friends?
Are we all sinners if we sin?
Does it even matter in the end if we’re unhappy?

Jesus, Jesus, I’m still looking for answers
Though I know that I won’t find them here tonight
But Jesus, Jesus, could you call me if you have the time?
And maybe we could meet for coffee and work it out
And maybe then I’ll understand what it’s all about

A lot has changed since then. I love the fact that I’ve got a beautiful little girl. I love that Andrea has a little girl that adores EVERY SINGLE THING she does. I love how she is just like me – strong willed, confident and a bit of an ass. I love the fact that she cares so deeply for her little baby brother.

Aren’t my girls beautiful?

Below is a behind the scenes interview of Bear and Will’s experience together.