Viva la Feminista

I wrote a book: J Is for Justice! an Activism Alphabet

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 26 Apr 2023 03:03:00 +0000

From A to Z, discover your power to speak up for what you believe in and change the world! With empowering language and vibrant illustrations, this alphabet board book calls little ones to action with big and small steps that children can take to lead the way and become the next generation of activists.

Written by Veronica I. Arreola
Illustrated by María Díaz Perera

Purchase your copy today!

Women and Children First

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Kim Moldosky on Amelia Earhart's continuing legacy

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 23 Mar 2023 20:52:00 +0000

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Kim Moldofsky is an all-around creative person and lifelong learner with a penchant for adventure. Inspired by Amelia Earhart, she recently flew in a restored 1929 biplane. Read Kim's newsletter to keep up on all the things she has going on. This is her first book.

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The Feminist Agenda art is by Valency Muldoon.

The Feminist Agenda: Jennifer Baumgardner on feminist literature for all

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 15 Apr 2022 20:14:00 +0000

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Jennifer Baumgardner is a writer, activist, filmmaker, and lecturer. Baumgardner joined The Feminist Agenda to discuss the need to publish feminist children's books, letting projects go, and editing the new feminist book review LIBER. Originally from Fargo, Baumgardner has been working in New York City at the intersection of feminism and publishing for three decades, beginning in 1993 as an intern (and later editor) at Ms. magazine. From 1997 on, she wrote dozens of features for a diverse array of magazines (Glamour, Teen Vogue, Bust, Dissent, Harper’s Bazaar, Harper’s, The Nation, Elle, New York Times, etc.), authored/co-authored seven books (including Manifesta, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics, and Abortion & Life) and wrote, directed, and produced two feature-length documentaries (It Was Rape and I Had an Abortion). Baumgardner has keynoted at more than 250 colleges and universities and, in 2002, co-founded Soapbox Inc., a speaker’s bureau. She was writer-in-residence at the New School from 2008 to 2012. From 2013 to 2017, Baumgardner was the publisher and chief executive of the Feminist Press, where she relaunched their children’s publishing, created the award-winning queer imprint Amethyst Editions with Michelle Tea, and established the Louise Meriwether prize for a debut author of color. From 2017-2021, she was editor in chief of the Women’s Review of Books, a long-running feminist print review out of Wellesley. In December, she left Women’s Review to edit the new feminist book review LIBER, with Katha Pollitt and others. She lives in the Village with her husband, two sons, and two cats.

The Feminist Agenda: 02.03 Dr. Tara T. Green on the respectability of Black women

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 28 Feb 2022 16:00:00 +0000

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Dr. Tara T. Green has two books out in 2022 that center the respectability of Black women, specifically lesser-known women of the Harlem Renaissance era such as Alice Dunbar-Nelson. Green is an award-winning teacher-mentor-scholar and is currently Professor and former Director (2008-2016) of African American and African Diaspora Studies at the University of North Carolina in Greensboro. Her areas of research include Black gender studies, African American autobiographies and fiction (late nineteenth through contemporary), African women’s literature, African American parent-child relationships, and African Americans in the South. Believing that research should explore major issues of the day, Green considers how literature reflects current social and political concerns. Dr. Green is also a community-engaged scholar. During the fall of 2021, she co-led UNCG’s Black Lives Matter Triad Collection project, which is an oral history archive of protestors’ and organizers’ interviews complemented by photos and art. She was the lead interviewer of the protestors and trained her students in her Black Lives Matter course to collect the stories of their peers.

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Dr. Tara T. Green's books: Love, Activism, and the Respectable Life of Alice Dunbar-Nelson and See Me Naked: Black Women Defining Pleasure in the Interwar Era
Reclaim the Stars edited by Zoraida Córdova
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The Feminist Agenda: 02.02 Anne Elizabeth Moore on the real cost of free houses and government corruption

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 21 Jan 2022 23:58:00 +0000

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Anne Elizabeth Moore joins the Feminist Agenda to discuss her latest book, Gentrifier: A Memoir. From Catapult: In 2016, a Detroit arts organization grants writer and artist Anne Elizabeth Moore a free house—a room of her own, à  la Virginia Woolf—in Detroit’s majority-Bangladeshi “Banglatown.” Accompanied by her cats, Moore moves to the bungalow in her new city  where she gardens, befriends the neighborhood youth, and grows to intimately understand civic collapse and community solidarity. When the  troubled history of her prize house comes to light, Moore finds her life destabilized by the aftershocks of the housing crisis and governmental corruption.

This  is also a memoir of art, gender, work, and survival. Moore writes into  the gaps of Woolf’s declaration that “a woman must have money and a room  of one’s own if she is to write”; what if this woman were queer and  living with chronic illness, as Moore is, or a South Asian immigrant,  like Moore’s neighbors? And what if her primary coping mechanism was jokes?

Part investigation, part comedy of a vexing city, and part love letter to girlhood, Gentrifier examines capitalism, property ownership, and whiteness, asking if we can ever  really win when violence and profit are inextricably linked with victory.

Anne Elizabeth Moore was born in Winner, South Dakota. She has written several critically  acclaimed nonfiction books, including the Lambda Literary  Award–nominated Body Horror: Capitalism, Fear, Misogyny, Jokes, which was a Chicago Public Library Best Book of 2017, and Sweet Little Cunt, which won an Eisner Award. She lives in Hobart, New York, with her cat, Captain America.

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Other books by Anne Elizabeth Moore at Bookshop: Sweet Little Cunt: The Graphic Work of Julie Doucet | Unmarketable: Brandalism, Copyfighting, Mocketing, and the Erosion of Integrity | Threadbare: Clothes, Sex, and Trafficking

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The Feminist Agenda art is by Valency Muldoon.

The Feminist Agenda: Season Two Episode 1 "Gloria Feldt on Intentioning the Road Ahead"

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 02 Jan 2022 01:38:00 +0000

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Show notes:

Gloria Feldt joins The Feminist Agenda to discuss her latest book, Intentioning: Sex, Power, Pandemics, and How Women Will Take The Lead for (Everyone's) Good. Gloria is a New York Times best-selling author, speaker, commentator and feminist leader who has gained national recognition as a social and political advocate of women's rights. In 2013, she co-founded Take The Lead, a nonprofit initiative with a goal to propel women to leadership parity by 2025. She is a former CEO and president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, directing the organization from 1996 to 2005. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Forbes, Time, NBC, Fast Company, Vanity Fair, and much more. 

Download the Intentioning workbook

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The Feminist Agenda art is by Valency Muldoon.
 

Not a clue

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 17 Sep 2021 14:32:00 +0000

Blogger asks me for a title and I have no clue.

All I know is that I have a new job so I have more money, my daughter is now in college so I have more time for myself, and I am so lost. Now that I don't have to drop her off at school and take her to soccer (which I desperately miss) I am taking the train into work. I am trying to find my rhythm.

If I do the full commute on my own, I walk up the street to the bus stop, take that east for a bit, jump on the Red line to Jackson where I transfer to the Blue line and get off at my campus stop. I walk up the steep walkway to the street and head into the office. During this hour and a half journey I listen to a meditation app - which, to be honest may not be helping. Each time it asks me to clear my mind, a zillion rush in. Usually the ones that I have been keeping at bay. The ones that taunt me. When the meditation app asks me to locate where my body is holding the stress it reminds me that I have begun to clench my teeth so much during the day and as I sleep that I busted two fillings. I play softball once a week, 16" of course as I am a Chicagoan. I do my best to hit the climbing gym twice a week. My therapist still thinks it is funny that her goal chasing Capricorn client picked indoor rock climbing as a way to de-stress.

So what am I doing back here?

It's been forever since I have properly used this space for what it was intended - capture my thoughts. I tried to keep a journal during lock down, but that went no where even though I wanted to be able to flip back to remind myself in years to come how hard the year or so we spent physically isolating ourselves from the world. Maybe the fact that someone read my diary years ago still haunts me and putting it all out here like this, now, on my own terms is the only way for me to brain dump.

This is dangerous. Public sharing is dangerous. But I know this better now versus when I started blogging in late 2000. But it is also liberating to put things out into the world.

Yesterday I led a time management and bullet journal workshop for my students. As they shared their struggles with juggling their classes, their personal life, the obligations to family, and of course work, I nodded. Not in "I've been there," but in "I am still working on that."

I have no idea if this is gonna stick, but if there is one theme in my life right now it is that when I share my story, others nod along. Some will thank me for helping them know they aren't the only one thinking that way. I need to silence the voices in my life that tell me that I should be satisfied with enough. Cause I am a lot and there is never enough.

Joining the herd

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 28 Apr 2021 14:00:00 +0000

My mom took my sisters and me to visit a friend’s child who was in the hospital. I was maybe 12. I remember the age because I was shocked that the x-ray technician asked me if there was any way I could be pregnant and I was aghast. Wait? How did I go from visiting a friend’s kid to getting an x-ray? I fainted.

Why did I faint? Because I thought I saw a needle.

A nurse walked into this kid’s room to check on them, and I still swear on my life that she had a needle in her hand. And that is when I realized I was scared of needles.

Each vaccination was tortuous for me. I would tense up and make things worse.

My fear of needles wasn’t always bad though. It is coupled with, I suspect, sensitivity to anesthesia. When I had surgery to remove some fibroids, I passed out as soon as I got the IV. When I had my wisdom teeth removed, I passed out as soon as I got the injection.

I got better about needles during my pregnancy. As a pregnant person, you get stabbed a lot. Oh, the blood draw! So much blood is drawn. Even now when I go to get blood drawn to monitor my pre-diabetes, I warn the technician that I am prone to fainting. I pull out my phone and distract myself with the internet as she does what she needs to do.

But if there is something I am more afraid of than needles, it is COVID-19 and not seeing my friends for another year.

That is why when I was eligible for the COVID-19 vaccination, I jumped at the chance.

Luckily a pop-up clinic opened blocks from my home. I got to walk over while listening to my favorite music to get myself pumped up. I was sad that no one could be there with me to hold my hand or take my photo. But it was the first day the clinic was open, and it was fairly chaotic. The doctor who vaccinated me was also the doctor organizing everything. He had so much energy! I sat down, and he asked which arm. Before I could even warn him that I might faint, it was over. “You’re done, go sit over there,” as he pointed to the waiting area. I was legit mad that I didn’t even have time to prepare myself. HAHAHAHA!

By the time my second vaccination rolled around, the clinic was humming like a well-oiled machine. I wore my US Women’s National Soccer team championship jersey because if this needle-fearing lady was going to get her second vaccination without anyone she loved holding her hand, I was going to wear the jersey of the most badass women. Maybe their strength would rub off on me.

I sat down and immediately asked the medical professional if I could take a selfie with her. She said it was ok with her. Then a volunteer came over and offered to take a photo of us.

As she went to give me my vaccination, the volunteer became enamored with my camera phone and he almost missed the shot! I yelped! Both for the vaccine and him to not miss the shot. So while I was clearly 1,000% focused on the shot and it did hurt, it wasn’t so bad.

I made up my own plans, but if you need help planning your vaccination there is a great online tool by The Meg Foundation called Hack the Vax!

I clicked through the tool to see how it feels and this Capricorn was pleased to see I hit on a lot of things.

✔ Distracting myself with a book & social media!
✔ Listening to music!
✔ Looking away!
✔ Alerting the medical professional that I might faint!
✔ Rewarding myself!

Doing these things makes me feel better. I know it is me taking care of myself.

And ultimately this is what we are doing by getting vaccinated against COVID-19. We are taking care of ourselves. We are taking care of our loved ones. We are taking care of the person in front of us at the coffee shop.

Pro tips for post-care: Be hydrated. Move that arm. And rest the day after. Maybe you can’t take the day off, but don’t ask your body to do much more than your usual routine.

I wish you all the best as you head out to get vaccinated! Let me know which techniques you’re using in YOUR plan.

This post is made possible with support from the Meg Foundation. All opinions are my own.

Review: Braintown

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 24 Dec 2020 05:19:00 +0000

Braintown by Laura Hernandez
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

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Review: Mary: The Adventures of Mary Shelley's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Granddaughter

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 26 Oct 2020 20:29:00 +0000

Mary: The Adventures of Mary Shelley's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Granddaughter by Brea Grant
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

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Review: They Didn't See Us Coming: The Hidden History of Feminism in the Nineties

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 08 Jul 2020 14:25:00 +0000

They Didn't See Us Coming: The Hidden History of Feminism in the Nineties by Lisa Levenstein
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

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Frederick, A Virtual Puppet Performance - Read by Michael Shannon

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 14 Apr 2020 16:34:00 +0000

WOW...this is my first post during the Coronavirus pandemic! I hope you and your loved ones are healthy and safe.

Thanks to the Chicago Children’s Theatre, the city’s largest professional theater devoted exclusively to children and families, for launching a new YouTube channel, CCTv: Virtual Theatre and Learning from Chicago Children’s Theatre. To kick if off we are treated to Frederick. Here's hoping this helps with your little ones. Or is a comfort to everyone of all ages.

Chicago Children’s Theatre’s all-new virtual puppet performance was created while all of the artists were sheltering in place, working with resources limited to what they had in their homes or on their laptops.

Frederick is directed by CCT Co-Founder and Artistic Director Jacqueline Russell. Puppets and sets were designed, built and puppeteered in a home studio by Grace Needlman and Will Bishop, CCT’s Director of Production, the creative team behind CCT’s annual series of Beatrix Potter puppet shows and the company’s hit Chicago premiere Wake Up Brother Bear earlier this season.

Chicago musician Mr. Nick Davio performs the jaunty instrumental underscore, which is inspired by songs from the popular TYA musical version of Leo Lionni’s Frederick by Suzanne Miller, with music and lyrics by Sarah Durkee and Paul Jacob. Video editing is by Shiri Nicole Gross.

Support future productions at

Abrams, Rapinoe, and Bird, oh my!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 04 Feb 2020 22:32:00 +0000

Yup...The fabulous Stacey Abrams, along with badass couple Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird join HBO's THE SHOP: UNINTERRUPTED to chat about the state of the world. Also joining the conversation is EGOT Whoopi Goldberg, Malcolm Jenkins, And Hasan Minhaj.

By the look of the trailer this is gonna be a great conversation. Check it out on Friday, February 7 (9:30-10:00 p.m. ET/PT) or later on HBO NOW, HBO GO, HBO On Demand and partners’ streaming platforms.

Review: Lumberjanes/Gotham Academy

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 04 Feb 2020 21:12:00 +0000

Lumberjanes/Gotham Academy by Chynna Clugston Flores
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have loved the Lumberjanes franchise for many years. After taking some time off to read other series, I'm back and went with the this crossover event with Gotham Academy - a series I thought looked great, but never fit into my overcrowded comic book plate. And you know what? THIS WAS AMAZING.

The Lumberjanes feel was still present - can't speak about the Gotham Academy feel - but it was wacky and sweet. Lumberjanes is ever telling stories of friendship and being true to yourself. This was doubly true for this collection.

I hope these two gangs of adorable young people team up again.

This is a great read for anyone wrestling with expectations - parental to societal.

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Review: Trapeze

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 30 Dec 2019 23:18:00 +0000

Trapeze by Leigh Ansell
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Trapeze by Leigh Ansell is an enjoyable fish out of water tale set in a high school. We meet 17-year-old Corey who is a budding trapeze star. When tragedy strikes, she finds herself stuck in a stereotypical suburb and enrolled in high school. The novel deals with not just Corey's struggle to fit into high school, but her journey to reestablish a relationship with her mother, her first love, and domestic abuse.

Ansell wraps up Corey's tale with one too many tropes, but even as I was thinking, "Really?" I was also moved by the character developments. Considering Ansell is only 21, I look forward to her honing her gift of storytelling in future novels. There is an excellent scene when one character gaslights Corey and it is so well written I could feel my skin crawl.

I recommend Trapeze for high schoolers and those us who survived those years, but still like to revisit through YA novels. Considering the number of moral choices that Corey and her friends have to manage, that all high schoolers have to manage, this would also be a good read for parents. I always appreciate books that could lend itself to conversations between teens and parents.

Disclaimer: I received this book from a publicist in exchange for this review. No other compensation was received.

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Review: Know My Name

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 12 Nov 2019 04:42:00 +0000

Know My Name by Chanel Miller
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Slight spoiler of first 100 pages....beware!

You think you know what happened when two Swedish students found Brock Turner raping a woman next to a dumpster. But you have no idea. Maybe if you lived in the Stanford area you might know more. But I suspect that through gossip you might know even less than I do here in Chicago. That is why the courage that Chanel Miller displays in her memoir, Know My Name, is monumental.

The first three chapters are heart-wrenching and required me to put the book down many times. Chanel wastes no time getting right to why she wrote the book. Why we need to know her name. The night of the rape. The evening where she spent with her family and later her mom dropped Chanel and her sister off at a party. The party. Then the morning after as she awakens in the hospital with zero memory of what happened.

AND NO ONE FUCKING TELLS HER.

Seriously. Chanel painstakingly takes us back to that morning when she finds pine needles in her hair, wonders why she has no underwear, can’t find her phone, and then undergoes a rape test examination. Photo after photo. Test after test. Police interview after interview and no one tells her she was assaulted.

To say I was furious is an understatement. As you will likely be.

I truly believe that this memoir will be assigned in class, passed on from friend to friend, and a divider book - our lives before and after we read the tale of Chanel Miller. It is not a classic because we need to read about her resilience. It will be a classic because we need to drown in her rage.

When I requested a review copy all I thought was, “I need to know how she is feeling.” Pissed the fuck off is what she is feeling.

Her story is one of having the anger take over her life. There is a scene where she loses control and shatters her phone by slamming it on the table. Then she is forced to use it while in a baggie. That scene is palpable. You may even flashback to a moment where anger has taken control of your life, even for a moment.

But what she does with her anger is survive. She grounds herself through art. I honestly feel the bravest thing she’s did was to spend the summer away from everyone and everything she knows to study art. I am usually grouchy about the privilege it takes to jet off somewhere to heal as most people do not have that luxury. But the way it comes about, the learning she gets out of it...well...it is privileged, I also see the beauty and bravery in it.

Everyone who takes a basic women's studies class or reads the news knows that few rape survivors find themselves in court against their attacker. There are Many reasons for this including the trauma of pressing charges.

We get to experience this trauma with Chanel. And IMO the most trauma came from the slow nature of the court system. Waiting. Preparing to testify one day then being told in 3 more months or in an hour versus tomorrow.

Know My Name is an immediate classic. It may take you awhile to get through it as you may need to take breaks. Or you may devour it in one sitting as your fury fuels your need to keep reading. This is a book I want everyone to read because I need to discuss it in person. So please, get yourself a copy and let’s grab coffee or a cocktail.

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Review: The Trouble with Becoming a Witch

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 02:01:00 +0000

The Trouble with Becoming a Witch by Amy Edwards
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If I could, I would give this book 3.5 stars. Rounding up cause I'm like that.

Review: Content scrappers are the bane of a bloggers existence. They are bots that scrape content from blogs and then republishes them on another site and then steals your traffic. I won’t accuse Amy Edwards of being a content scrapper, but good gawd I felt like I had read so much of what she gives us in The Trouble with Becoming a Witch. Edwards beautifully has collected many of the complaints that wives and mothers have expressed over the years into a painful and realistic narrative of one woman taking control of her life.

When I was pitched this book, I accepted it based on the mere fact the title has “witch” in it and the main character shares my name. I didn’t read much else. Thus when I started the book, the honesty hit me like a ton of bricks. I had heard Veronica’s thoughts over the years. Women who complained that their husbands had no idea how to manage the kids. Who worried about the kids when they went on business trips. Women who let loose on girls night out but would have to sober up before they could get home for fear of showing they had too much fun without their husband. Women who prioritized peace over their own needs.

Veronica’s curiosity about witchcraft is a classic feminist trope. It is almost a full stage in one’s growth as a feminist. One of the biggest reasons I earned a minor in women’s studies is because I wrote my freshman rhetoric paper on feminism, goddess worship, and witchcraft. My instructor read my first draft, handed me a Ms. Magazine, and said “Get thee to the women’s studies department.” (Mike, if you’re reading this, thanks.) Alas, Veronica is married to a pretty strong Catholic and controlling man. As soon as she tips her black hat to her husband, he flips out.

This fairly short novel takes us on Veronica’s journey of figuring out what she wants her life to look like and how her husband fits into that plan. She discovers how much of her life has just happened to her, versus her choosing the life she has. It is a journey that has you gasping and cheering. The Trouble with Becoming a Witch is a great beach read - that’s where I read it - as it is a quick and easy read. If you don’t take time to assess your own life choices that is.

I should also give a content/trigger warning for domestic violence (economic and mental) and pregnancy loss.

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Real Sports: On the Basis of Sex: Girls' Baseball

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 30 Sep 2019 11:00:00 +0000

I needed to log into HBO GO to catch an episode of Real Sports that I missed about girls and baseball.

The topic is fascinating for me. I played softball in high school and still play in a league - of course, Chicago 16" softball though. But as you know, I love baseball too. I did play Little League and never felt comfortable there.

But you need to watch this episode. It goes through the history of Maria Pepe who sued Little League USA for the right to play baseball. They fought her for 2 years. And after she won, Little League started softball.

I love both sports. And it breaks my heart each time I reflect on softball's role in discrimination against girls and women.

It infuriates me to watch the clip of men giving bullshit excuses why girls shouldn't play baseball including:

Dental injuries will make girls less attractive
Getting hit in the chest will lead to breast cancer (isn't it FASCINATING how people who don't want women to do something will find a way to link it to breast cancer?)
No one wants a girl to be hurt by a boy (I was on La Vida Baseball a few weeks again and we were discussing women playing in men's leagues. Another panelist brought up this issue as to why he couldn't support women playing in men's leagues.)
Some fathers didn't want boys to tag their daughters on the butt or chest. Because apparently everything is sexual, especially at the Little League age. Good lessons there, dads!

It's a great segment and will lead to some great conversations. Watch the trailer below then log into your HBO account!

Review: Maybe He Just Likes You

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 07 Sep 2019 01:13:00 +0000

Maybe He Just Likes You by Barbara Dee
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

School is back in session and I know some of you are scrambling for good books for your tweens to read. "Maybe He Just Likes You" by Barbara Dee should be on your child's book list.

"Maybe He Just Likes You" tackles a lot in short succinct chapters and amazing grace.

Mila is in 7th grade and suddenly receiving attention from a group of boys at school. At first she thinks it is all in her head and then a girl friend accuses her of flirting. As things escalate Mila is overwhelmed with confusion and frustration. She does not like the attention, but all her friends dismiss her feelings. In the middle of all of this, her mother is going through her own drama.

I need to be real with you. The way Dee writes makes you feel the action. This includes the anticipation Mila feels when she is expecting unwanted attention. I felt it in my body and flashed back to my own hellish time in 7th grade. I wish I had handled my own situation the way Mila attacks hers. Don't get me wrong, she flops around and fails a lot, but you are always sympathizing with her, even at her worst.

The ending is pretty pat and may give young readers the idea that life has perfect bows, but I choose to think of it as an aspirational ending, not an idealistic one.

This book could be a great salve for a young person on the receiving end of unwanted attention. It is also a great mother-daughter book. As Mila's mom was wrapped up in her very real and valid grown-up issues, it still made me wonder of what I may have missed with my own daughter when I've struggled with my life stuff. This book is also an excellent learning tool for all tweens about being a good friend, about being brave enough to be a good friend.

Disclaimer: I was pitched this book by a publicist. I am happy I said yes!!

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Review: Wait, What?: A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 00:53:00 +0000

Wait, What?: A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up by Heather Corinna
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"Wait, What?: A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up" is the book I wish we all had when we were in middle school. And if you have a middle school human in your life, you should get them this book.

One of the first pages, page 9 to be exact, sets the tone of the book. That humans develop in all ways at a different rate from each other. Some of us mature physically, some of us mature romantically earlier, and that's all ok.

Heather & Isabella take great care to talk about all things puberty-related with not just great care, but in a gender inclusive manner. Vaginas are not talked about things women have, rather vaginas and breast development are things that happen to humans and if that what you are experiencing, great! If not, maybe you have a penis and other stuff is happening. Don't get me wrong, there are pages that talk about boys and girls, but in a way that allows each reader to identify how they feel, including that some people feel feminine one day and masculine the next.

One of the favorite parts of the book are the discussions around consent and relationships. Consent treated not just as a topic in order to reduce sexual assault, but woven in to how we relate to each other in relationships. At the most basic level it is that you need someones consent to be in a relationship and everyone has the right to not be in a relationship. It makes you imagine how much dating would suck less if we all learned how to talk to each other about our expectations for relationships when we were 12 instead of in therapy in our 30s or 40s.

I attended the Chicago book party. Instead of Heather & Isbella reading everything, they asked for volunteers to read for different characters. Hearing the story from the mouths of tweens was everything. It cemented how perfect the narrative is in helping middle schoolers understand that puberty is a hot mess, but you're going to be just fine. Even if you don't have a Superteam like we one we follow in "Wait, What?"

Disclaimer: I received a review copy, but did purchase a copy for myself. Also Heather is a friend and someone whose work I have greatly admired for many years.

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Book Review: Everything Grows by Aimee Herman

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 13 May 2019 20:32:00 +0000

A lot of books show up at my home that go unread - to be given away or on the never-ending TBR pile. Thankfully something about Everything Grows urged me to read it and now. And that is exactly what this books does to your heart - it plants into your heart and tears it apart as it blossoms.

Aimee Herman gives us the tale of Eleanor, a teen in 1993 (This GenXer is still floored each time she reads a book that is nostalgic for her own high school days and LOVES it. Even if it is hard to read "historical fiction" for that time.) whose bully has recently taken his own life just months after her mom attempted to do the same. At the prompting for her English teacher, Eleanor journals her way through the months after the bully's death, exploring not just their relationship, but also her relationship with her mother, and most importantly herself.

There are definitely places in this book where I felt it was a bit unrealistic, but it works in the end. It all works. 1993 was a huge year for me. I am the same age as Eleanor's sister, who struggles through her first year of college. Every step along Eleanor's journey was deeply felt due to both superb writing, but also personal flashbacks.

I am not sure how this would go over with someone who has survived their own attempt to take their lives, so please consult someone. I do know that this book is full of hope as Eleanor wrestles with what suicide means - is it giving up? Is it giving in? Why? Why not? This book is also about queer youth, as signaled by the rainbow button on the cover. According to the Trevor Project "suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24 and LGB youth seriously contemplate suicide at almost three times the rate of heterosexual youth." From everything I know of LGB youth and young adults, I would like to think this book is a welcome addition to their lives as it is affirming not just for one's identity, but for the really fucked up ways we all stumble through figuring out that identity.

As a parent, I appreciated the insight into the teen mind. As I get older, I lose the finer touch of my memories. Aimee Herman reminded me of all the drama that happens in our minds and hearts. And why sometimes the best thing a parent can do it simply say, "I love you. I accept you." and the shut the fuck up.

I was going to give this to a parent who spotted me reading it at soccer, but I think I'm going to walk this over to our Gender and Sexuality Center over my lunch break.

Disclaimer: I received this book in exchange for an honest review.

Marvel-ing at Grief

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 May 2019 02:30:00 +0000

Spoilers head for Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse and Avengers: Endgame.

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When Stan Lee died many fans were quick to point out that his legacy is much more than just comic book characters, but the messages that those characters endear to us. He spent years reinforcing those messages on his Soap Box. It is with his words about the power of love in mind that I outline that Avengers: Endgame is a film about grief masquerading as an action flick. Grief is everywhere in the film - appropriately since it takes place in a post-snap, post-apocalyptic universe. The grief of Thor is central to this lesson, but is the one most undercut by humor.

Avengers: Endgame begins with Hawkeye losing his family to Thanos' snap. And this snaps something in him causing him to become a vigilante. Rhodey reports to Nat of his slaughter of Mexican gang members. Nat finds him in Tokyo after his latest slaughter. We first see Thor upset because he did not go for Thanos' head, allowing Thanos to complete the snap. He makes sure not to repeat that mistake by beheading Thanos to stop his holier-than-thou speech about why the snap was good, blah, blah. After Tony is saved, he is so upset about the snap (most likely because of Peter Parker) that he collapses. Of course Tony is always upset about something, so grief or Tony? Your guess.

Five years after the snap, Steve Rogers runs a grief support program encouraging others to move on. Then he remarks to Nat that they can't move on. When it is time to get the band back together, Bruce/Hulk and Rocket find Thor in a deep depression - he is heavily drinking, staying in his home, and gaining weight, presumably due to over eating (the fact he is a god is to be ignored). Whereas Steve & Nat identify that they are stuck in grief and regret, Thor's grief is played off as a joke.

The first time I saw Avengers: Endgame the entire theater gasped at Thor's beer & pizza belly. I know I did. It was shocking especially compared to the scene in Infinity War where Thor's perfect body is compared to Peter Quill's non-Godlike body. And it should be noted that while his body was perfect, Mantis does say Thor is filled with grief. Back to Endgame...On my second watch, I paid attention to how Thor's belly is framed and lit to highlight it as a gag instead of a manifestation of his grief.

Later on when Thor is discussing the Reality stone and how he needs to time travel back to Asgard, he starts to mourn the loss of Jane as a girlfriend, his mother, and ends before getting to losing his father, brother, Loki, and Asgard itself. But when he gets to Asgard he is overcome with emotion at the sight of his mother on her deathday.

Rocket rightfully does some truth telling - how he is not the only one who lost something from The Snap. That they have a job to do and if they do it, they can put things right. I even accept the slap! But what I don't accept is how the slap played as humor. Rocket dug deep into his own trash-filled soul to give some tough love. Maybe the humor was there to take the edge off the heavy moment. We'll return to this idea later.

As mothers are apt to do, Frigga can see his pain in his face. She counsels him that even he is like everyone else in terms of failing, but that doesn't mean he stops trying. Frigga even gives him direction by telling him to be who he is, not what he is expected to be. That's some real mom truth-telling there! To cap off the scene Thor summons Mjolnir and when it arrives he exclaims, "I'm still worthy!"

Thor's journey through grief and embodiment as a pot belly is played off as a joke. Compare this to how Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse handled Peter B. Parker's grief and depression. Yes, it was played off as a joke at first, but Peter B. offers up some hard truths to Miles about #ThatSuperheroLife, marriage, and how sometimes heroes don't get the happy ending we assume they do. His longing for a second or third chance with Mary Jane is palpable. Which is why I bawled when he showed up at her door at the end.

Given that the target audience for superhero movies is still young men and boys, Marvel has an enormous opportunity to normalize grief for a population that is obviously struggling with their emotions. When men experience mental health issues, including grief and depression, they are more apt to lash out than women. In fact they often lash out at the women in their lives.

Violence by men and boys is a national epidemic. Gun violence. Intimate partner violence. Sexual violence. All are disproportionately inflicted by boys and men. I for one do not believe that it is because men and boys are somehow inherently terrible human beings, but our society warps them into ignoring their feelings AND tells them that they way to get things out is to lash out at others. This is royally fucked up.

What if Rocket had hugged (I know, hard for our fave trash panda to hug our fave Norse god) instead of slapping him, or after slapping him, much like the hug that Tony gets to give to his father and Peter Parker? We get a taste of this empathy when Bruce/Hulk talks to Thor in New Asgard.

Can you imagine the impact on the young men and boys sitting in theaters around the country and the world if Thor's depression and grief had been given the same weight as Tony's death? Grief makes us all feel weird. We don't like to talk about grief. After my mom died, I had a few people in my life tell me to get over it so I could move on with my life. We don't know how to deal with grief, so we tell people to get over it or make awkward jokes. I don't think we needed Thor to end up with a grief counselor, but more acknowledgement of his losses and less jokes and body-shaming would had been awesome. Especially in light of the overwhelming sense of grief everyone was carrying throughout the movie.

If Stan Lee's legacy is a catalog of superheros that inspire us to be our best selves, why not include being inspired to talk about our grief and understanding that eating a salad will not resolve our depression-weight-gain.

Book Review: Wolfpack by Abby Wambach

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 21 Apr 2019 02:19:00 +0000

Less than a year ago, Abby Wambach took the stage at Barnard's commencement and gave a speech that shook many, including myself, to the core. Her speech went viral and I made the above image in order to share the highlights of her speech. Earlier this month Abby released the speech in book form.

Wolfpack: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game is short (less than 100 pages) but is much more than just her speech. You get a peek into how the speech came together and why she said everything. And because the book is short and is an expanded speech, it moves quickly. I feel that it moves with the same ferocity that Abby use to move down a soccer field. And you might find yourself cheering as she takes you through the story.

Abby has always been one of my favorite players. The way she ran amok on the pitch was exactly the way I felt I played sports. Never caring how you looked and giving it your all. Leaving it all on the field. When she retired from soccer, international and US soccer were looking for their next leaders. I was sure that the way Abby talked about gender issues that she would head off to an Ivy League school, get her MBA, and come back to run US Soccer. I'm still hoping that will happen one day. US Soccer needs her fire and someone to give attention to the girls program. But after retiring from soccer, Abby appeared to struggle with reentry into ordinary life. Her arrest for driving while under the influence was her public low-point. In her memoir, Forward, she is honest with her struggles with addiction and other ghosts in her life. Perhaps speaking her truth allowed her to exorcise the demons and restart her life. She has even started her own leadership training program, Wolfpack Endeavor.

I finished the book the same day I received it (Monday) and immediately assigned it to my 15-year-old-soccer-playing daughter. Now I did this while she was on Spring Break and needed to finish a research paper. "It's less than a 100 pages, it reads quickly, and you will have it done by Friday." She had it done by Thursday.

If you are burned out on leadership or inspirational books, I strongly suggest you pick up "Wolfpack." Not only is it a quick read, but it distills so much of what great leadership looks like without fluff. Is that ain't quintessential Abby Wambach, I don't know what else it is. There are citations, there are studies quoted, but Abby gets right to the point and moves on. Us powerful majestic goddesses do not have time to read 300 pages of why we need to have demand the fucking ball. So get yourself a copy and maybe even one for your BFF, daughter, or goddess-in-training.

Please purchase your own copy of Wolfpack from Powells or Indiebound and support Viva la Feminista.

Disclaimer: I received a review copy from a publicist.

Review: The Folded Map Project on stage (Collaboraction)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 18:41:00 +0000

Chicago is a segregated city. When Martin Luther King Jr brought his nonviolent work to Chicago he was struck by a rock and remarked, "I have seen many demonstrations in the south but I have never seen anything so hostile and so hateful as I’ve seen here today." The shorthand manner to discuss our segregation is to note that the Northside is where you find White Chicagoans and the Southside is where you find Black Chicagoans. The Northside is where you find all the resources whereas on the Southside you find vacant lots and high crimes.

There have been countless attempts to bridge this divide. One of the most recent and ingenious is the Folded Map project. Simply put, who lives at 6400 North and 6400 South and how are their lives different or similar.

Now comes a stage production of the project brought to us by Collaboraction. This production is part of a larger "Encounter" series that runs through January 27th. There are in fact only 2 more times to see this particular piece: Wednesday, January 23 at 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, January 26at 7 p.m.

The piece was moving, but also left me wanting more. Much more. "Folded Map" is far more an origin story of Tonika Johnson and the project itself. I really wanted to hear more about what Johnson had learned from the conversations and if those on the Northside had made changes in the way they go about their lives.

In one sense it is easy to fold the map of Chicago from Englewood, the most dangerous neighborhood if all you know of it is from the evening news, to Rogers Park, home to aging hippies and the heart of Chicago's progressive community. It should make it easier for the project, especially the stage production to ask those with more money, influence, and privilege what they will do to ease the differences we see through the project. Because it left the "what next" conversation centered on sharing ones love of gardening I felt unfulfilled.

That is not to say that the origin story is itself a bad story. In fact it is a fascinating story of one woman's family that started in Englewood, moved to Uptown, then back. It is a case study is why it is worth the two-hour commute for some students in order to have a high school experience that prepares you to be a UN ambassador. It is heartwarming, touching, and extols the power to art to not only be a medium for storytelling, but as community building.

In the end, I strongly encourage you to see the remaining two shows. I hope that Johnson and the rest of the crew continue to evolve this piece that can help cut through the divides, both physical and mental, that keep us apart and Chicago from being the city it can be It has a companion piece, A Great Day (in the Neighborhood), which is a fantastical romp through a creative mind.

The "Encounter" series runs through January 27th.

Catch "Folded Map" on Wednesday, January 23 at 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, January 26 at 7 p.m.

Disclaimer: I saw "Folded Map" through a press pass. All opinions are my own.

She'll do all of this....and She'll do none of this

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 08 Jan 2019 00:05:00 +0000

I'll teach my daughter / To bang on anything that makes a beat / She'll shake-a-boom, she'll quake a room / She'll ... She'll do all of this. And she'll do none of this. And it's funny how we hide behind these daughters, Hide ahead of our own herstories. Scared of ourselves.

Today is my mom's 15th birthday since her death. It is the last of the 15-year milestones (15 years since her death, Ella's 15th birthday, 15th Christmas, 15th of my birthday). The woman who instilled in me how special I was, how important I am to the world, and who held me to high standards, should be indulging in a tiny slice of turtle cheesecake for her day. Instead a bit of her ashes sit in a tiny urn on my altar. She hovers over my life as a sage and cautionary tale.

Dear reader, you may be shocked at how I can hold anger in my heart over her death. Well, I do. I am mostly angry at all the wonderful things she has missed out on, including resolving our relationship. Before you stop reading, I should tell you that I am far more heartbroken than angry. At the start of my relationship with grief, I thought I needed to pass through phases, that you did not hold each at the same time. Thanks to the Refuge in Grief newsletter and splurging on the 30-Day writing group, I know that it is quite common to feel both. So much of the pain in the first few years of grief was actually pain caused by the world, including some close to me, telling me to "get over it," to push through the anger to heartbreak to acceptance. As if accepting the loss of someone who meant everything to you, who literally made you, would end the grief.

Mom looms large in my life. She was the more vocal of my parents on how I should live my life. She prescribed a lot of my choices, sometimes not always in my best interest. I have reflected on her bad advice with my therapist. How life always seemed to bulldoze her and how that may have impacted how she guided me. She raised me to kick ass, but also to be cautious of deals that sounded too good to be true. I have come to the realization that she was so scared of me getting bulldozed by life that she steered me away from too big of risks least I fell on my face.

I shared the gory details with my daughter on my mom's birthday last year (when I wrote the bulk of this post). Not to disparage her grandmother, but to share with her why I am so determined to support her dreams, no matter how large and out-of-reach they may seem to others. I try to be rational in my support, telling her that is she wants X, she better start doing Y to get there. It is hard not to want to live out my dreams in my daughter. She looks so much like me, she is very much like me. But she is not me. And I am not my mother.

I am not my mother.

That sounds awful to say on her birthday, but it is the truth. My dad and her worked hard so I could be offered opportunities they did not have. Now my daughter has opportunities I dared not to ask for growing up because I knew we could not afford them. I know the world is what it is. It can be cruel, but it can also be loving. Sometimes at the same time. I have had my share of joys and also life kicking me in the gut as I lay on the ground crying. I work hard to not let the challenges life presents instill fear in my daughter or to try to control her life so she easily overcomes them. And it is freaking hard.

One day last year Alix Olson's Daughter came over my earbuds as I was at the climbing gym. I remember the first time I heard it thinking, "Yes! This is how my daughter will be!" Then getting to the end of the piece and thinking, "Shhiiiiit...." With Daughter raging in my ears as I willed myself up a wall, I flashed back to me explaining at Christmas 2017 that we are born with all the eggs we will produce. Meaning that as I floated in my mother's uterus I already had my daughter in me. Three generations together in a tiny moment of time.

Life beat my mom into fearing my dreams. That has left me with the challenge to show my daughter that no matter how hard life punches me, to stand back up and punch back harder. That we will fail, but we don't stop dreaming. That is the fear Alix sings about. That is the fear I fight.

My mom was and still is my everything. I am angry that she died before she could experience the joys of being a grandmother to the most amazing girl ever. I am crushed she missed me hitting my stride as the woman she raised me to be. Her memory is not just a blessing, but what keeps me moving.