High Tea With Abhi ©

Fast & The Furious X.X

2011-10-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

I am back, and sooner than I expected myself to be here. Again a sunday morning. A lazy one, well readers, I am sitting here on my bed with my number of phones and notebooks spread all across writing this post while I should have been getting ready for the F1 race finals. Well Diwali was fun, though my role was revolving around buying stuff, putting candles, decorating the house and taking money out of the ATM. Finally the weekend came and I like my lazy self should have wasted this one fruitfully sleeping and well ummm uhhh doing nothing but reading random stuff off the internet I was asked to join the First Ever Indian Grand Prix in a place called greater NOIDA. Reluctantly I being a good colleague agreed and readily accepted to cheer the Ferrari team whom we sponsor globally. Anyways it was the novelty effect, so I said why not lets give it a shot. Unlike the 1200 actual fans of F1 in India, I was the part of the larger team (1.2 billion -1200) non fans who dont know the A B C of motor racing besides names like Vettel, Alonso et al.

So on a saturday morning, when I should be clearly either sleeping in mid day or driving around, I was sitting in a Volvo with several other pseudo enthusiasts to a well umm a town some 70 km away from my posh South Delhi environ to see few cars burning rubber and making big noise. When we reached the venue that was actually in middle of nowhere, I saw a big race track with galvanized iron stands ( I was in south premium) on uneven earth spread with a green carpet. Cows mooed across the track and people were sitting gazing at a super smooth road (highly unlikely in India barring central Delhi). Most people were a part of the bigger entourage, offered tickets by corporates as they were employees, vendors and small clients (though I did saw some hot chicks in hotter hotpants) and I swear by their degree of hotness (habahabahaba) that they were hotter than the hottest cars :P :D.Anyways with the first car coming on track, the crowd did stood up to cheer but neither did they know the difference between teams and their cars, nor did they know that what is the actual fuss about. I mean why are so expensive cars running at such tracks burning millions of dollars for some one hour of fun.

Little that most people know that it is a mere conspiracy by auto and auto related companies to test their material strengths and designs of their products. Anyways back from the technical details, I saw a jump in the crowd, when the announcer said, Force India ( like everyone felt that Sachin of F1 just arrived). Well their car did look like the Indian flag. Anyways the noise of the rubber burning the tarmac was so much that neither could you ignore it nor can you live with it. With the first qualifier getting over, people lost interest and moving to the food stalls ( for cold food and hotter cold drinks). They did hover around and see the cars but it did became monotonous for almost all non fanatics ( rich well traveled boys who were sitting in the Paddock). Girlfriends were there to show their boys that they support their cause too, oldies were there to be a part of History. Anyways after the race, I was too tired to go back again the next day for the grand finale, so I decided to call it quits. For me a chilled out Sunday is a much more interesting thing to do that visit Mayacity :P.
All I was wondering about the last night was, will the operating expenses of the BIC, be compensated by the revenues of stale burgers and seats only. (PS: Dont try the burgers, keep to the sandwich, they are OK.)

BTW Never drive after an NFS Most Wanted Game ....Even after the game is over, you still drive as you drive in the game.

Just to end this post found an interesting post somewhere, so linking it here too :) Happy racing boys and girls. I am off for a drive. Image Source http://thecomicproject.blogspot.com

A Thousand dreams to live - Part X.X

2011-10-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

For those who are regulars of this blog, I must apologise first as I have been wasting a lot of my time doing stupider stuff than not writing anymore. One reason maybe that I have simply lost interest, well maybe but then after a long day and probably busier weekends I hardly find time to rant here. :) Anyways its Diwali time and almost after 4 years I am back at home to celebrate it here in the place of my birth. (for those who dont know - Dilli Oye). Recently I read some stuff by a chick about a delhi boy, LOL thats wat I can say, I wish I could give her some sense. Anyways this post is not about her or the millions of egoistic chicks like her. Its about Diwali ..... YAY....

Well first of all I want to wish all you guys and gals a very safe and happy Diwali. Dont overeat this festive season and do remember yours truly while making your gift lists. I accept cash and kind gifts. Those who wish to do an online transfer can seek my ICICI account on my email.

The whole motive of writing this post was to talk about Diwali and that too especially the one I have seen since childhood in Delhi. Just a couple of days back as I was driving my way out from a friend's place, I saw a young lad taking a pain in moving around his house and putting up those long wires with small microcontroller controlled electric lights in a south Delhi household. Deja Vu - It reminded me of the several rounds of those old lights in some box in my house awaiting to be put fr decoration this Diwali and for a moment I was back in the years of the late nineties when my basic Diwali chore was to put up the lights ( the bigger ones like taking sweets to people's house, buying crackers, getting flowers for Diwali day from the Mehrauli flower mandi and paying a customary visit to the Chandni Chowk aka Delhi 6 were also there ). I was certainly fond of it. I have always been fond of anything to do with fire or electricity in the modern parlance, maybe that was the reason I was notoriusly famous for snipping all the cable tv operator wires every summer to make sure I get uninterrupted supply of cartoon network and star world. I remeber how I used to get up at 6 on the day of my chore (as decided by myself), gathered all wires, bulbs, pliers, screwdrivers, electric socket extentions, black tape and other paraphernalia and started with what usually ended as a two hour marathon of cutting, taping, nailing of lights all across my house roof and balconies. With each year passing by, I added a new set of lights making my chore bigger and bigger but then who was complaining.

Then came the satisfaction of seeing your house glowing in the night. When I moved out to our new place, there was almost an unannounced competition between house owners. Bigger houses, bigger sets of lights meant longer working hours and as usual I still sweat in october mornings, so a messy shirt at the end of it. Then when I went to college, I used to be at home only for 3-4 days and I always gave lame excuses to mom by just putting a couple of lights here and there and said "lets not waste power ...". Anyways for the last few years I have been out of the house and even the country ( and the continent) and in my absence all my five feet 2 inches mom could do was to put a couple of them on the ground floor balcony.

Well this year, I am back at home and guess its time that I search for all those pliers and tapes and get back to work. Atleast my mom should also get some RoI of making me study electronics.

Well there is also a sad part associated with the lights, you know your vacations are over when you dont see these glittering shiny lights on the streets anymore. It marks and end to the fun times of Diwali. So here comes the philosophy - I would take a pledge to keep these shiny lights remain lighted in my heart for the year to come and make sure that the festive season stays a lot longer this time.

To be a part of my several post long Diwali blogathon.
PS: Work is stressful but fun, I am happy to be with old friends and a new life :)
Gotta go search for those pliers and the wires.. bhai diwali mubarak ho zeee......

In Retrospect

2011-09-05T21:09:00.000-07:00

It has been almost 4 months since I got up so early. I was up at almost 330 AM even though I was dead tired the last night. The night was calm with the monsoon being the only culprit breaking the silence. I was on my back looking at the fan on the ceiling thinking about the past few years. How life has changed, passing out from school, graduating from engineering, topping up with an MBA, almost a year and a half working, moving to new places all the time, making new friends, having a lot of good memories with a hint of few bad ones. Lot of people etching their marks with a few who are better best forgotten but then isnt this which is all about life.Being 26, sometimes it just feels that only a week has passed since my 18th birthday. Anyways the only good thing about life is that I still am as foolish as I was when I was a teenager, still have those starry eyes and a few dreams to be fulfilled. Hope that a few years down the line when I look back again on a random early morning, I smile back at it and then go back again to sleep. Completely Random Post - No offence !!!!

The Art of Life

2011-06-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

As I sit down today to pen down a couple of thoughts today after a really really long time. Few of my unfortunate friends have even pinged me for why I havent written anything for so long. Anyways last 1 year has been the biggest rollercoaster of my life making it a really really special one for me (though most of it was bad, but still I see as good things coming out of it.) Anyways I still see a lot of people with a pretty myopic vision of life who end up cursing few others who are more successful than them in life. Here are a few things I learned over the last few years, they may sound a bit over the hill, but even if you try to incorporate one of them, I am sure somewhere a few years down the line you will thank me for it.

1. Learn to accept change, in the long run, it is always for the good. I have seen a lot of old men resistant to change, but even a few stubborn guys and gals not ready to accept it, try to be open to ideas pertaining to change, your way may not always be the right way.

2. Stop taking pride in smoking away the blues, drinking away to the joy and sorrow of life or even worse going towards the "get high" school of thought. If you are in your mid twenties and smoking and drinking, its likely that you will miss your child's twentieth birthday or your own fiftieth birthday. The Liver and lungs are not meant for you to play with. If you are so sure, try to run a kilometer or two and you will see why your stamina is going downhill. Every other day I encounter one or the other jackass who takes pride in doing a stupid relay of liquor or being a chain stud. Stop kidding with yourself.

3. Learn to respect those who have invested their lives for you. Be it your parents, grandparents, siblings or even some great friends. The odds are in a few years you will realize that they are not around and then you will realize that a piece of the jigsaw of your life is missing.

4. Love like there is no tomorrow, but forget a cheater without recall. Nothing lasts forever, not even love. Its the way two individuals care about each other that counts as after a certain number of years, the crazy hormones responsible for being in love are no longer produced in your brain, so its upto you to make or break anything. However, if someone ever cheated on you, for no matter what reason, forgive them and close them out of your life. I will not say move on, but will say love yourself more.

5. Save while you are young. All of us have desires, all of us have needs. Everyone wants to live like a prince or a princess, but the hard fact of life is that unless you are already born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you will be slightly better off than your parents who were slightly better off than your grandparents. It is entirely upto you to be richer than that extrapolation of wealth by your own intelligence and streetsmartness. Save atleast 40% of your earnings till you are not married and 30% post your marriage. Never should your savings go to waste, invest carefully and you will see that red ferrari in your garage by the time most people hit for a mid life crisis.

6. There are absolutely no free lunches. A company will only pay you the 10% of what profits you make for it and that is the maximum limit. High paying jobs come with high risk of health/ wealth/life/employment, large amount of work pressure or in most cases a mix of both. Then there are also certain set of jobs which require subject matter experts who have devoted a large chunk of their lives in gaining knowledge when you were fooling around with a girl in your hostel room.

7. Learn to respect three type of people outseide your immediate circle. a) The nerds - You never know you might end up working for one someday. b) The selfmade princes - Never underestimate what a man can do, if he has enough determination. Rags to riches examples flock in dozens in todays world. c) Cocky bastards who have a deadly mix of both - few are such men but when you encounter such a guy/gal, dont think he is just talking about palaces in thin air. You might regret later.

8. Respect yourself, your own intellgence and f**k the luck. Yes luck does play a part in our lives. I have myself been at the recieving end several times but even in the nadir of my life till now, I never gave up. I never suspected my intelligence, and even screwed the jackasses who tried to do so. Learn to respect yourself, being a little egoistic is good but always carry the humbleness of a tree with fruits. Work hard and give it your best. It may take a while but you will certainly be rewarded. Even in my worst of days, I continued to work twenty hours a day so the harder you work, the luckier you get.

9. Be truthful, honest and maintain integrity even in the hardest of times. Its not bad to admit that you are not going through the best of times but then its no reason to lie or decieve anyone.

10. Never give up learning, gaining knowledge is a lifelong process and its entirely upto you whether to embrace it or maintain your life in an ignorance is bliss mode.

At the end, I would say no matter where you are today, your past will seldom matter to your future life. But decisions made today will surely decide whether in the future you will regret or celebrate your wishful thinking.

Yours Truly

Thou Shall Not Fall To Destiny

2011-04-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

Its not that I am not afraid of failure, its not that my soul is made of steel. Its not that I don't sit down alone sometimes to introspect what went wrong but every morning when I rise, I rise with the hope against hope.

Times will always be turbulent, uncertainty will always rule in our hearts, it is this fear of losing everything that keeps me on my toes, though it is aging me faster than most mortals but then I do not need sleep to see dreams, dreams beyond the normal vision of someone who has been fed by a silver spoon and driven around.

It is not the shield of greenbacks that strengthen my character, it is the blood and sweat that I lost in countless days I toiled, it is these stones of destiny that have sored my feet that I still use to sharpen my Excalibur.

While I sharpen the edge, my hands have not always been safe either, but then it is the sight of blood itself that has made me stronger with each passing day. Years have passed since I took the first step out of my den. I was young and restless, not that I have lost my hunger to this day but I realize that I can make for another day without the elixir of success.

I stand by the side of the fast moving jungle wih animals of all type and size, some big, some are small, some are running fast, faster than they can imagine, slower than they expect. I laugh at them sometimes since they think they will outpace their destinies. Some fall badly as they run only to be eaten by bigger ones who move behind them.

Most of them are confused, as to why they are running along, is there a fire in the jungle, some dont even know but then there is always a silver lining that eludes most of us. One is there that awaits me too, though I am not running, I know it is coming towards me, faster than anyone can ever imagine. Some will say this creature is crazy but then staying foolish is all I can do for now.

Leap of Faith

2011-03-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

This is a a very amateur post. It’s a post about a character, I know very closely. It may not resemble any of you or you may find certain shades of yourself in him. Like any other post, my protagonist is going to have a name, lets call him Abhay (Me and my love with letter ‘A’). Anyways, this post is only going to be about Abhay and no one else. Its like an ego sketch of this twenty something guy. Around six feet tall, fair with sharp features and dark mahagony colored hair. Resembles some movie star many say, well he looks good enough to be a model himself but is far from being one. Lives in a small two bedroom house somewhere in the suburbs of a large metropolis, college educated but not working in any job in any company. He is arrogant, stubborn and loyal by nature, wellmany o us would be thinking what is Abhishek trying to say here. Why a rich brats description in his post. Anyways let me go on talk a little more. This guy is not rich, an average well to do typical family but off late he has been living alone. Hardly knows how to cook, lives off magi and some other weird ready to eat delicacies (read Rajma Chawal aka Kidney beans in tomato gravy and Rice) from the small neighbourhood stall.

He is not employed but he is always busy, always tied up with things. Always calling people, making arrangements for something or the other. His circle of friends has a long list of PYTs (pretty young things) yet for him something is much more important in life. It is called faith, faith in himself, his ability to succeed, to win and go beyond where most of his caliber would never even dream of going. He is no Slumdog Millionaire but he is still trying to prove himself and reach where few are destined to reach. I ask him whom you idolize, he says “Dhirubhai Ambani”, as both of us sit on the floor of his modest house munching Tandoori Roti and same old Rajma from the neighbourhood stall. I ask him, how do you feel sometimes taking the unknown path, he replies ,“Bhai darr lagta hai kabhi kabhi, but zindagi bhar yahan to nahi reh sakta na.”, pointing towards his house. “Sometimes I feel that a job like yours would have been much more secure, I don’t even know tomorrow, if whatever I do today will even help me. One moment it may all vanish.”, he adds.
“Faith, it’s the tiny steps we take each day which are actually leaps of faith make us realize our destiny. It is these tiny steps that make or break our lives.”, I add philosophically. Today I see this guy take an ordinary path, something which an average guy his age would always fear, I know I would most of the time. Sometimes we do have doubt in our ability, certain instances I recall were when I gave my first interview, the first time I asked a girl out, the first time I appeared to be ragged in front of a senior, but then had I stopped there that day, I would have not even been an iota of a man I am today (as I look in retrospect). What took me ahead was faith and rest followed itself.
I see this guy making good money in an honest and hardworking way, toiling hard, moving from town to town to do something which he loves. Still at the end of the day when he sits with his pals in some smoke filled pub, he is still laughing around and seem to be happy and contended. No one cares for where he sits when he eats or which car he drives. All they know is one happy go lucky guy who is walking an unknown path, who is happy and fighting against the most powerful enemy of the world called life. No one knows that he like millions of us still has doubt and fear but still he is the bravest in my eyes as he is trying to conquer them.
I don’t know what would be the take away from this post. Maybe it is a small tribute to hundreds if not thousands of those young fellows who have taken the leap into the unknown making a mark of their own as entrepreneurs. They work really hard as compared to us lazy buggers who just wait for the last week when we can see our salary slips.

I shall rise again

2011-02-01T20:10:00.000-08:00

They came in disguise and never let me realize
I was naïve and they caught me by surprise
It was all over they almost thought for me
As their knives stabbed my frames several times

But I was not to die, I was to live and fight
I have always fought, no matter what is the enemy’s might
I took their blows each o them coming in full force
As I bled, I stood up to return a favor and fight

I was torn apart, unable to walk but they could not touch my will to fight
I gathered my Excalibur and gave it a swing in full might
They knew that no matter what they do, they cannot kill my soul
It is now that they understand the meaning of the world ‘Invincible’ right

Every now and then the evil camp of destiny sends its coward spies
Deceit, treason and death is what inspire their lies
But every time they try to overthrow my will to fight
I rise again and return them a favor with all my might.

Turmoil

2011-01-30T02:16:00.000-08:00

Turmoil, a weird turmoil resides in my heart
Turmoil, a strange turmoil ever moment tears me apart
With each passing moment the darkness grows as I stand
Turmoil, an engulfing turmoil is piercing my soul like a shard

Turmoil, an unknown turmoil, is trying to take me down
Turmoil, a devilish turmoil, runs from dusk to dawn
I try to break free, but to no use, it surrounds me all over
Turmoil, an overpowering turmoil, is trying to make me its pawn

Someone calls me in the distance, as my heart hears it out
As I take steps towards the voice, because my heart wants to follow the route
I try to stop my heart from straying as I am scared of the turmoil
Sometimes I just wish that my own plans to foil

Earlier too this turmoil tried to reside in my heart
Earlier too this turmoil tried to tear me apart
Memories of thorns from the past still look like a bed of roses
The turmoil is still there, piercing my soul like a shard.

24 Carat

2011-01-23T01:06:00.000-08:00

When I was young I was too fascinated with all the different shiny metals that often found mentioned in treasures of the world. I never knew what was 22 carat or 24 carat gold. One day my mom sat down and explained me all. She since then always used to say "there is no use of 24 carat gold, too much purity of the mind makes you vulnerable to the hammer blows of the world".

I never paid attention to this line till a few weeks back, she still says this once in a while adding to it she says, "some impurities may reduce your value to the world but its better off that way rather than being an object of desire to everyone and being showcased in a museum".

Its her wise words and as a son it is upto me whether to take them at face value or not. perhaps she is right, perhaps I am right. No one knows.

In counter belief I always thought that it is the 24 carat gold nugget that stands the litmus test, as everything else just dissolves in th acidity of the world. The whole world may desire the shiny nugget of 24 carat but only those who really deserve it are ever able to lay their hands upon it and once they do, it becomes so dear to them that they would protect it with their lives.

It is this 24 carat gold lump which is moulded into a sovereign and makes a standard for the worth o the money all around the world.

Dont know which of the two arguments is closer to the truth of life. Only time makes you realize whether the postulate you assumed to chalk out your life was right or wrong.

PS: In case you find these posts disturbing do let me know, in case you have another prospective on life, do comment.

I dont know what to write.

2011-01-21T23:04:00.000-08:00

Today is a weird day, too weird to be true. Life is indeed stranger than fiction. You plan out life right from the very beginning and seldom it happens to be like that by the time you finish.
I am clearly disturbed as a few of my regular readers may feel, more disturbed than I was ever. Well I am, as I always say I am being truthful to myself. This post is not about the negativity in my life. Its about introspection, more about damage control even though I myself know that the damage is beyond repairs in most parts.
Realizing that how just with a single conversation, a single email, a single phone call, a simple incident in the past your whole life would change. Sometimes it is for the worse but sometimes it is for the better also.
People ping me across seeing me depressed and try to motivate me. I thank all of them, I never expected them and the matter of the fact that they were bothered showed that they cared. There were a few others too whom I expected but they never showed up.
I may be talking more like a drunk man today, but in reality I believe a drunk man atleast lets his emotions out to the world and feel blissful himself.
In some years most of us would not be alive, who will care for what that drunk man said. Certainly it wont be written as a glorious chapter in history.
All of us have history, all of us have skeletons in the closets, It is upto us whether to let them be buried there or face the truth. I was told by few people that it is better to take a bitter medicine with sugar cubes. It hides the truth. They still abide by it, I still beg to differ, it is the bitterness that makes you realize the harsh reality of life. Someday if someone takes away your sugar cubes you would either be not able to take your medicine or you would go beyond disgust with the bitterness.

Bitterness is essentially the core of life, mind you I am not saying that be bitter to those who care about you. Life is more than your own ego. Humbleness takes you a long way, often I see young ambitious or should I say over ambitious individuals see life in a different prism of light. They feel that everyone around them is there to sooth their ever boosting egos. They mistake sugarcoated medicine for a permanent relief from all the pain and before they realize all they have been left with is the bitterness, and an over boosted ego which makes them fall on the ground one day very hard. Little do they realize that life is more than material possessions, more than the dollars you earned or the exotic trips you finished. It is more about the people whose hearts you won. More about the people who cried when you left the world.

In the end I feel that despite everything all of us should remember

"Things are for use and people are to love and not the other way around"

I dont even know why I wrote this post, felt that a lot of misguided people in this world exist. Those who see the degree or the car of a person before they see the person. I would sincerely suggest them to open their eyes, what you see is all paper and ink and steel and paint. Do not miss the gold inside the person who is sitting across.

PS: If you find this post disturbing, do let me know. I still sleep very few hours a day and lack o sleep might have forced me to write this post.

Let Death Win

2011-01-16T21:17:00.000-08:00

As I lay in an unkempt bed
Staring at the ceiling, I hold up my head
Tears roll down my eyes, I don’t know why
No matter how hard I try, couldn’t help but cry

Life was never going to be the same now I know
Sometimes I wish I had somewhere to go
Maybe I could end this all in just one blow
Better than living and dying every moment you know

As I lay at the nadir of my life
I battle an internal strife
The will to live is dying itself now day by day
I don’t know how long will I be able to hold on and stay

Sometimes I think about what happened to my life
Just one fine day, I got up and got the shock of my life
I wonder if I would ever be able to smile now
I guess, its time for me to take my final bow

You have cursed me to live a thousand deaths each living moment
I wish to die for once and for all, and let my corpse ferment
It is not easy to live like a dead man all my life
I wish to end it all and lose to my inner strife

QLC - A twenty something phenomena

2010-12-25T13:57:00.000-08:00

Hi,

I am 25 and counting. I am an MBA & an Engineer from ivy league institutes of India. I have several hundred friends (most of them are relatively as successful as I am tagged). Some of my friends even say that I have almost everything that someone may ever desire. This year became a turning point in my life. I joined the real world after almost two decades of a protected environment. Though I had tasted failures before, the real taste comes when there is no backup. Anyways I along with several hundreds of my friends am suffering from a common phenomena which was completely unknown some thirty years back. That phenomena is called QLC or Quarter Life Crisis. Maybe this is due to the fast paced life these days but almost everyone I know of my age is suffering from the symptoms of this disease. Recently a friend of mine sent me a mail describing the situation. I could absolutely relate to it. I thought why not share it with those who read my blog too. So here it goes. In case there is anyone who is not suffering from any of the symptoms please please contact me and do let me know how to tackle the situation. :P

BTW thank you RG for the mail.

BEING IN TWENTIES – Something I want to share…

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You may make friends in your job life that would ever cherish in your heart or you may think why for that short time I met him/her.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...

We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis...”

Love Letter from a Financial Analyst to Her Love Interest

2010-11-17T13:19:00.000-08:00

Dearest Most Valuable Asset of My Balance Sheet,

Since the day I have fallen in so deep in love with you, just like the stock market fell in 1929, I have not been able to hold back my feelings which are as vulnerable as goodwill on a balance sheet of an Internet firm, I am writing this special love credit note to you. My blood flow is surpassing the cash flow of all the stocks trading on the Nifty 50 as I think of you. No longer am I rational as a technical analyst, your love has made me as irrational as a retail investor in an uncertain market. I hope there is no uncertainty on the trading floor of your heart as I have already bought all the shares of your love and left none for any other potential investors. I will go bankrupt if you declare that your balance sheet and income statements of love were over stated.

I hope that you will take care of your sole shareholder and not issue an FPO for other potential buyers. I am really scared of the PE firms which have been luring you with their skimpy skirts, overstated assets and perpetual proforma cash flow. I do not seek any immediate dividend in terms of gifts and presents. I hope that this relationship as long lasting as between Warren Buffet and Goldman Sachs. You know I am not a Venture Capitalist who has been involved in risky investments in the past. I look for moderate returns and a loyal management which takes care of its shareholders. According to my friends you are grossly overvalued at the moment but looking at your past performance and future prospects as a lover I see a bright future with you. I firmly believe that you will outperform the market of potential suitors and shower me with the heaviest of dividends of love even though I am not expecting anything too soon. Hope that one day there is a merger between the two of us. Love you more than Bloomberg.

Financially Yours

A Financial Analyst

A Night of Thousand Stars - II

2010-11-11T13:38:00.000-08:00

“Saying Happy Diwali to random people - The auto wallah, the bus conductor, the air hostesses, the baggage porter, the bhaji walah, and folks on the street, brings out unexpected happiness and warm response which are totally unmatched by any programed response of glee. Go ahead.. spread the joy.. to all whom I know and to all those whom I don't, Here's wishing you a sparkling Diwali!” – A status message from a very close friend of mine – Thank you Ashu for this thought.

It is Diwali time once again and the third time that I am away from home that too in a row. Not that Diwali at home was any glorious or anything but I was where I was born. I was where I grew up, I was in the city with a glorious past, where people spent millions on showing off their wealth impressing neighbours, inlaws and friends. Where no matter which religion you have faith in, your house does have a made in china lighting on Diwali day. Anyways folks as I rewind my memory cells to the glorious years of the past, I sit down once again to bring you another story. A story about Diwali; a story about happiness and joy. A story about the night of a thousand stars.

It is the night before Diwali and I felt that life has completed one full circle.Sitting at the airport lounge I remembered how great last Diwali was. It was a Saturday and her scent post bath was enchanting. She stood there in wet hair folding her hands in front of the little mandir in my room. Dressed in an impeccable white salwar kurta she looked nothing short of an angel. Her earrings sparkled against the flouroscent lights of my room. She murmured vedic chants as I watched her. Life is going to be so wonderful with her, I thought.
“lets go my lazy boy, its time you take a bath.”, she said. “Do I have to, it’s a holiday for god’s sake.”, I replied. Well my name is Akhil and she is Isha, my love interest. We have been together for the last two years and are supposed to marry next year. Anyways this is the first time we are celebrating Diwali together as I have flown down to home and would be spending some precious moments with her. Life has been a rollercoaster for the last two years with me shifting to Kolkata while Isha still working at Delhi. Long distance is never easy but still we did try our best to make it work.
We were to go around the city in the car Isha bought recently finishing our last minute shopping before we hit back to our places for the Puja. It was 11 already and Isha was shouting at her peak to make me get out of my bed. Soon after my bath and a meager breakfast I was forcefully dumped into the car and driven away to the busiest shopping arcade in central Delhi. After that it was three hours of “Ooh, do you like this?”, “Do I look fat in this ?”, “Is this better or the one that is there?”. We finally made through and ended up in the Mcdonalds just outside a British era cinema hall chomping on our burgers and sipping our colas.
“I am so happy that you are here this Diwali. I so wanted to spend time with you.”, Isha murmured as our eyes crossed. “I know that baby, I wanted this too. Its been so long that I am away. Even mom wants me to shift back soon and I have been trying really hard to do something about it.”, I replied. “You know, I was thinking if you could shift to Kolkata, this could be pretty easy for us. No parental pressure, no time restrictions and all the time to ourselves.”, I added. “I know but you know my problems. I cant just move like this. My grandmother needs me.”, She replied. “OK, let’s forget it, I just want to spend these four days in the best way.”I replied as I gathered all the bags and stood up to leave. It was already three and I wanted to show Isha the gift I got for her before we went to our places for the puja. As we drove to south Delhi’s greens I asked Isha to take a detour. It was fun being the navigator for a change and driving her mad. We drove into a posh apartment complex and I asked her to park and wait in the car as I walked to the elevator. I asked her to bring a box kept on the backseat in the car after she gets my call to flat 2125. She agrees and waits while she puts her Ipod on and listens to the Eagles.
The bell inside the flat rang and I opened the door to find her all hush hush standing to surprise someone inside but instead she got the biggest surprise of her life. She reads the inscription on the brass name plate “Isha & Akhil Pandey”. “Akku what is this about?”, she walks in and sees the drawing room filled with balloons and decorations and a big banner saying WELCOME HOME ISHA. She was awestruck as she saw each room. I had bought that flat recently on installment post my promotion and it was all a surprise for her. “Akku, how the hell did you manage this? This must have costed you a fortune.” “Shush, leave those things to me” as I closed her eyes guiding her to the master bedroom. As I let her open her eyes she found a bed covered with rose petals and teddy bears. I could see a tear rolling down her eye as she hugged me hard and whispered “I love you Akku”. It was to be my most wonderful Diwali ever as she pulled me on to her and her lips enclosed mine. I could feel our sweat roll into each other and rose petals sticking to our naked bodies as we rolled over the bed. After some serious love making , she just held my hand and kissed it over and over again. I pulled her close to me and kissed her back and said,“Happy Diwali Ishu”. It was already 7 in the evening and we were so late. I locked the flat in haste and rolled down the stairs as we held hands. “So, what are your plans for tomorrow?”, she winked as she started the engine. In the next three days, we spent almost all our time together making love, kissing each other, talking and making plans for our future. They were the most wonderful three days of my 27 years of existence.
Life changed so fast after I resumed back at office, the work schedules became hectic as the year end approached and we got less and less time to talk to each other. Meanwhile I was sent over on deputation to Singapore and the time difference started taking the fizz out of our love. She was busy writing certification exams and I did not wish to disturb her most of the time. My family was also having certain problems due to old family feuds which were putting extra stress onto me to change jobs and shift back to home. Isha used to text me now and then and say sweet nothings over the phone as I kept working bursting my keyboard keys. I seldom was able to reciprocate as by the time I used to finish I had nothing in my mind besides a hot shower and a soft bed.
By the time, the new year came I was nothing short of being screwed. My firm was losing money big time and I was on the line to be fired as my team was supposedly made the sacrificial goat. I told this to Isha and somehow in the midst of other issues certain things got to her father. He all of a sudden became very rigid in matters of marriage and announced that Isha will marry me only if I maintain my job and status. In all other cases he will find a suitable groom for her and marry her off before Diwali.
I was in utter shock when Isha gave me the news. I was in a quagmire, no job, no girlfriend, family feuds. “What is happening to me?”, I thought to myself. By the time January was to end I was sent back to India and made to work like a dog. I had no option but to keep quiet and perform otherwise I would be sacked by my firm which had already sacked four of my team members. As I lost sleep, I became more and more irritated and annoyed, Isha used to complain to me about my short temper now and most of the time with her peaking stress levels due to her certification examinations we were fighting almost everyday.
It was 235 AM on a Friday night and I was just preparing to mail my boss, as the phone rang. It was 14th February and I had no idea regarding the date. “Please call me after fifteen minutes”, I shouted. “I have called to tell you that this would be my last call to you”, the voice was rude and harsh. “As you do not wish to talk right now, I would like to tell you that its better that we break up today right now”, she said. “I hope you find peace now Akku.”, she slammed the phone with those words. I never heard her voice again for another five months. I tried calling her several times but she never picked up. I SMSed her to find no replies ever. I called her mom and brother but they never gave me clear replies. During my visit to Delhi, I dropped at her house but to find that she was not there and her father asked me not to come back again.
It was 12th July and a very special day for me. It was her birthday and I thought even as an ex-boyfriend it was my duty to call her and wish her. So I picked up my phone and gave her a ring, to my surprise, she picked up my call. “Happy birthday Ishu. How are you these days?”, I asked. “Thank you very much Akhil, I am doing good. How are you?”she replied. After a three minute conversation, there was an awkward silence and so I bid adieu to Isha and kept the phone down. Meanwhile I got to know from a common friend of ours that she was engaged to be married to a local businessman. I was in utter shock as I tried to revisit the past. So many sweet memories just started to turn sour. I always thought that after a while Isha would come back to me. No longer was my job under threat, no longer was I under the same amount of stress but all of a sudden the news made me realize that she would never be with me again. It was finally over. The year was not going well for me anymore.
Slowly months passed by and I tried to gather myself into my work and my life. I tried dating again but despite everything I did not feel the spark I had with Isha. My mom was getting worried about me and she had started looking for girls for my marriage as I had finally agreed to the fact that I will not fall in love again and am ready for an arranged marriage. I had to fulfill my parents expectations too despite whatever I felt for someone. I was asked to come back home on Diwali as my mom called me up that she had a couple of girls lined up for me to see. I was least interested in them though I wanted to go back home. So here it was, I was standing in the queue to the aircraft on the night before Diwali and within the next 16 hours I was to meet a gal who might be my lawfully wedded wife for a lifetime.
I reached home very tired and went on to the bed straight post my meeting rituals with my parents. I woke up at 9 and saw the whole house was looking brand new with my mom trying to make last minute adjustments. The maybe would be in-laws were to arrive in two hours. I was made to clean up my act and asked to dress up as they were to arrive any moment now. Anyways I was told by my parents that the girl’s parents wanted us to meet first and did not want pictures to be exchanged before that. I had weird thoughts about such a request and imagined that the girl may be a squint or something.
We were to meet at our house and then move to our farmhouse a mile away from our place for a lunch my mom was hosting on Diwali day.
It was a weird feeling for me, I know that I would never love this girl who I was about to see. I was already in love and it didn’t matter if she didn’t love me and she was engaged to be married to someone else. I gave my heart and soul to her long back and I would always love her in my heart, but now I had to meet my parents’ expectations. I sat down on my table carelessly browsing through old pictures of us together as the doorbell rang. I stood up and straightened my Kurta to see who came in and moved to the living room. I was in utter shock to see Isha’s parents sitting down with a pundit along with my parents as Isha sat in the corner shying away her eyes from everyone. She never looked prettier in a suit, not even on the last Diwali when we were together. I wasn’t able to gather my strength to talk to her there so asked mom to come in to my room and explain the situation.
It was a destined to be as the businessman who was to marry Isha turned out to be in love with some other gal and refused to marry Isha (well good for them and for us). Isha was already devastated by her father’s decision who was finally convinced by her mom to try and take the matter up with my parents. My parents agreed readily and felt that it would be best for both of us if we get married. Supposedly our horoscopes also matched and we were to get engaged on 25th October 2010 (which was today). All my friends and relatives were to be present at the ceremony and personal invites went from my parents though I was never told of the ceremony. As I gathered up so many things in mind, all of a sudden the would be wife moved in and pinched me. “So, do you wanna get married to me handsome?”, she asked. “Yes, I certainly do.”, I replied.

Prologue
Isha & Akhil got engaged on Diwali day in a small ceremony at their farmhouse. Both of them looked very happy throughout the ceremony but by the time it was five in the evening both love birds were no where to be seen. Later a neighbor at Akhil’s new flat saw the name plate which was removed a while ago back on the door and the car was seen to be parked in the allotted parking. Looks like they had a Diwali to celebrate together. Happy Diwali

Love Letter from a Marketing Manager to His Love Interest

2010-10-23T03:30:00.000-07:00

I dont know if you guys will like it but I did found it amusing as I wrote it down. Hope some marketing lover chic falls for it.

Dearest Consumer of My Love,
My happiness has no bounds, ever since you have successfully endorsed my product of love. You have not only helped me achieve me the required consumer penetration level but also given me the assurance that my love as a product is amongst the most superior ones available in the market. As you are a new user to this exotic product, I would further like to highlight that I would from time to time come out with new campaigns both above the line and below the line (metaphorically and literally) to make sure that you remain a valuable patron of my product. My product comes with a lifetime guarantee of assured service in terms of care and affection and we do not intend to take the product out of the market after a desired trial run in this relatively unexplored market. The product promises you to provide you with excellent after sales service and loyalty points which can be availed at regular intervals in terms of goodies like chocolates, dresses, jewellery and other products depending upon the number of love coupons that you have accumulated. You will also be provided with excellent benefits which will make you realize that the previous products that you used were of inferior quality, however since my product is a marked at a premier price, I would appreciate that you take good care of it by regularly servicing it with your feminine affection. I hope that you are enjoying the experience and you would continue with my product for a lifetime. You are free to call my toll free number 1800-LOVE-YOU-FOREVER for 24X7 service.

Yours Lovingly
An Anonymous Brand Manager

The Enemy Inside You

2010-10-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

Life is a phase of ups and downs, it has always been like that to almost 99% of us. Today I am not going to talk about the 1% who are immune to it but to those of us who have admitted themselves to schools of mediocrity and self pity. I am not any self help book writer but many say that I can be one anyday. I say you can be anyone you want to be, the key to it is self realization. Life as most of us see comprises of the haves and the have-nots. There are few elite who hold the wealth of the world while the masses suffer hunger, unemployment and death.
What is that one thing that makes almost everyone in this world a mere pawn to destiny? What is that belief that pulls you down, that makes sure that you do not rise in life beyond what circumstances permit you to be. If impossible was the word to be taken at face value, it would have not been possible for a race that evolved mere 10000 years ago to go beyond the reaches of space to the moon. Had the men in ancient Rome not taken the charge of the affairs no one would have ever imagined what modern European architecture would have been without the influence it drew from the ancient Latin architecture.

Look at this line image that shows a majority of population below the median level of life while a few elite enjoying the most of this world. You can never be what you want to be if you never think that you can be that person today. Most of us always think that perhaps what we have right now is the best we can get for our abilities. Among the masses there are certain classes of men and women whom I have encountered in 25 years of my life history. Many wise men will say that they have been shaving for twice my age but anyways I have already decided that I would try to reinstate a fact that most of us always tend to ignore.
When I was 10 I had a few dreams, I wanted to be a Judge. When I became 13, I decided that I will do good even if I become a lawyer. What was it that changed my thinking that I accepted a lower hierarchy despite growing up 3 years older. The truth is I was exposed to the world, the big bad world. The wise men call it the reality. I call it…..lets wait for it…..BULLSHIT. When we are young all of us aspire to be in the top 1% but as we grow older and older we see so many of the rest of 99% weaklings that we accept the fact that we are mere mortal pawns in hands of destiny and lets make the best of it by taking what god has given us. Ever wondered why even the worst actors who look uglier than the ugly duckling make it to the most glamorous of the movies. Ever wondered why men who do not command a physique of a sportsman still create records which most men cant even dream to break in the coming decades. It is because these men and women did not bend to circumstances, they did not fall prey to those 99% of BULLSHITTERS who said you cant do that. That’s impossible. That place is for the rich and famous or how can you even dream of doing that.
The Europeans were the pioneers, to abdicate this mentality as a whole and that has given them a way big advantage in todays world. That’s why they say it’s a white man’s world. Today as I see a black man shaking hands with me bending his back almost halfway through despite knowing that I am not even younger than his youngest son just because I am whiter than what he may have ever seen. The Europeans left it and went all around the globe to show the yellow, the browns, the olives and the black skinned people how a mere transformation of a skin pigment makes them the most superior race in this world. And the most of non whites agreed to it accepting their supremacy.
It is a game that elite play among elites and masses play among the masses creating a social hierarchy which makes you believe that you are inferior. When you don’t believe in that thought, many others will try to make you believe that and my guess is that most of the times you will fall prey to it. You will cry, make a big fuss about it and maybe even try to harm yourself for something which will in the end not matter to you anymore one day. It is a game which most of us lose to our very own minds. You get defeated not by others, not by the world but by the enemy who has been hiding inside you for a very long long time and whom you cannot outplay unless you learn to wield the Excalibure of your own power o thoughts. I am still very young, at an age when most of us are confused about what to do in life. We think about how to deal with situations which will haunt us for decades to come. Many of us will try to leave behind great powerful thoughts that would have made you the ever greatest man or woman to have lived on this earth. They fall prey to mediocrity, they fall prey to a negative thought spiral which crumbles you like an anaconda as you give way to it.
This thought may seem radical to you now as you read it the first time. As I will continue to kill this ever enlarging snake with my power of thoughts I will come back with my journal about how to overcome what each one of us faces and go rise to a level where a few elites have risen.

Walking Alone

2010-10-15T23:53:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since I wrote anything meaningful or written anything at all. Life has changed a lot in 2010. It certainly has changed so much that I feel it has come a full circle. I find myself standing at the same place today where perhaps I was standing a few years ago. But I was younger then, I had dreams of what is held in the future, well today I know what was there in the future as it becomes my past. Well anyways few more years down the line, I will write again about what is in store for a next few years too…
Meanwhile this is something which mirrors my current emotions today…Maybe a few broken souls can empathize….

I was born in this world with closed eyes and marvelous dreams
When I opened my eyes I say pain, blood, tears and screams
As I walked on all fours around the plastered floor under the shades of the Neem
I saw how the world was, to me it was wonderful it seems

A hand pulled me up and I learnt to walk, slowly and carefully treading my path
I never knew that it was broken, dead ended sometimes, I just walked not caring about the aftermath
A loner always, a privileged one some said, I never knew what love and care was
Life began to move so fast, without any pause

The hand that guided my earlier smiled as I began to run
Running was something I enjoyed, something I felt was fun
As a loner it was my destiny to run fast, faster than anyone’s reach
But I was human, and humans are social they preach

As I ran, I met a few who ran alongside me
But as a steed my goal was the only thing I could see
I never knew that life is a journey and not a destination
I forgot who ran with me and the goal became my fascination
There were a few souls which I should have waited for taking a break in my marathon
Atleast I realize that today as I stand alone in an oblivion
My heart sometimes pounds for what I gained and what I lost
I yearn for the calm pine forest and the winter frost

Today as I stand alone, I feel the autumn leaves are falling around will the wind blowing them away
I realize what I gained and how much have I lost as I kept running all my way
Maybe loneliness is what I sowed, so that is what I shall reap
There is no sense today in feeling miserable or to weep

They say the soul never dies, but I defied them all today
My body still remains, but my soul did die away
I no more run today, just drag on like a lifeless corpse
In the life that is left, the only emotion today is remorse

I wish I could run backwards to the souls I met a while ago
Hold their hands and never let it go
I may not have won the race then running so fast
But then it wouldn’t have mattered even if I would have stood last

The Golden Cage

2010-09-05T22:52:00.001-07:00

It all starts when a smart young guy or gal who has been scoring above 80% all throughout his life decided to do a professional degree over a regular degree. Some go for engineering (like I did), some become accountants, doctors and lawyers. Then begins the rat race to get into a “Prestigious Technical Institute” as most advertisements in a job supplement of a national daily mention, as almost every engineering aspirant knows that if they go to a B level engineering college, their dreams of making it big are almost screwed. Two years or more are usually spent by kids shuttling between school, tuitions and coaching classes. Meals are skipped, outings are avoided, and sleeping hours are sacrificed till the most coveted exams are done with.

Then starts the anxiety for the results, and once they make it through to a prestigious college, there are several “mithai ka dibbas” which do the rounds of the neighborhood with echoes of phrases like “ladka engineer bann gaya “– (your son is an engineer now). When you enter an engineering institute, no matter it is an IIT, NIT, some govt college or a private institute you realize that just like you there are thousands if not hundreds of thousands bright boys and girls from unknown parts of the country who have also made it to the several institutes of repute. You realize that it is just the first filter paper over a funnel that filtered you out for mixing you with several qualified enough bright young boys and girls who will continue to run in the rat race.

I met all kind of people at a reputed engineering institute during my undergraduate days. There were guys who were sheer geniuses and there were drunkards (even they are bright). I made friends with almost all. There are some of my friends who always considered that those who are in socially unacceptable practices of doping/smoking/excessive drinking are not good people and over and above that not good engineers or professionals. I always beg to differ, as I have seen some of the brightest minds in this world being discarded by the society for a choice that is too personal for anyone to frown upon.

Four years of engineering or for that matter any other professional degree are full of exams. Literally and metaphorically, and mind you not everyone passes all exams. Actually no one passes all exams. You need to fail in atleast one exam to learn that life is not a bed of roses. Most engineers I knew (including IITians/NITians) that their institute was “Jaali” or fraud. Their degrees are not good enough. I wonder what did they have in their minds when they came to an engineering college.
Gone is the era of radical inventions that most of us read about in school. Today even a small variation in a big machine needs to have years of research behind it. Life has become competitive. You don’t hear anything being invented so often as you might have in the industrial age. Most senior engineering students think that they wasted their years in engineering and that to pass an exam all you need is learn the notes you photocopied from your batch topper. They forget that engineering is also an art. A place where you learn to appreciate the intricacies of a machine and its working. Most of them end up clearing their degrees and ending up with jobs which have no relation to their fields of expertise. Textile engineers/instrumentation engineers/mechanical engineers working in a IT software company. The recent boom in the Indian software economy has led to the downfall of Indian engineers.

The self proclaimed “Jaali Engineers” never realize that had they not been good enough no profit oriented organization would have picked them up fresh as a hot cookie from the oven to work for them. Oh and I almost forgot how do most of the students decide what company to work and what domain to go. Just follow where the “Moolah” is going. Money is important especially in a semi hyper inflationary world where almost everything costs two times of what it was 5 years ago.
A middle class boy or a girl is often forced to go for such professional courses so that they fare better financially, they get a good match and that they are able to afford a two BHK flat in a suburban area of a big metropolis , by paying exorbitant prices to builders who are barely high secondary passed. So that they have an A+/B category car in their car park and enough money in their pension plan which will last them a decent living for a lifetime. For this most bright gals and guys I knew spent some 6-7 years right from teenage till they are eligible to marry and drink inside their books. Engineers especially never realize the sheer importance of their profession and often believe that engineering is a waste of time.

But if you ask an electronics engineer about a logic gate after 10 years of his degree he will say he doesn’t remember it. That is what happens when almost all of us are studying to get jobs and not education. Few engineers remain engineers these days, most of them end up as IT major employees where you have no engineering work (see the resumes of almost any of them after 10 years, they all have the same shitty jargons which an HR wont understand and would apply a JD filter to it). They end up as Ctrl C+Ctrl V key pressers to copy snippets from IT junkies from the 90s to mammoth codes written by sheer genius coders who never had a college degree. Few get better salaries than others, few work in back end offices of large multinational firms and most of them don’t even know who founded the company they are working for. A large chunk end up in the ever increasing ranks of MBAs (read Mediocre but Arrogant) and end up doing jobs in a bank or a company selling soaps or toothpastes.
I never appreciated the movie “3 Idiots” for the fact that it didn’t do justice to the novel “Five Point Someone” but one point I will always appreciate that in this race to buy the 2BHK flat and probably a happier life most of us forget what the race is for excellence and not success. Success always follows Excellence.

I guess had we been doctors where lives were at stake, we would have been more serious about our work and our education's importance.

The Dream

2010-04-02T22:13:00.000-07:00

As IIM Shillongs Class of 2010 graduates today, I want to dedicate this to those who stood against all odds to see this day.

We saw a dream, a dream of flying away to the rainbow
It was a long, cold and dark night, we did not know where to go
The sunrise was awaited with great hopes, but the clouds stood in the way
Few lost hope of the sun, it’s a lost battled they used to say

But the brave ones, stood firm and faced the dark sky
With each passing hour of the night, some hopes lived while some died
It was more than a battle against the all odds
We fought against all hell, against the entire army of gods

The hours of darkness continued in full might
But we never lost hope of seeing the first light
Today as we witness the sun rise above those distant heights
The distant dream becomes a reality with the sun shining bright

I want to go back to the mountains

2010-03-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

I want to go back to the mountains
Where the air is crisp and the nights are clear
Where the breeze is crisp and cold
And pine trees stand with secrets untold

I surely miss those days of carefree long walks
I miss the chirpy hostel nights and dinner talks
As I sit in a metropolis thousands of miles away
I miss those pine cones along the misty way

I may not come back today to the misty mountains
I may not come back today to the incessant rains
I may not walk down those twisted pathways
But the misty town will stay forever with me no matter what anyone says

I will come back one day for sure
Tomorrow might not be my day anymore
Till then I stand looking at the future through the windows of the past
I Hope that the memories we shared are strong enough to last

To Die Rather than Give In

2010-03-27T06:13:00.000-07:00

The child inside of me may sound immature,
Immature with dreams unrealizable in my mind
They may sound weird today to the world
But the day will come, when they will salute my find

The failures I faced may make you laugh at me
As the world typecasts something I am not yet to be
Success comes to those who don’t stop trying
And the day will come, when I will what I always wanted to be

The bravery I carry may look more of foolishness to you
I took the blows in the heat survived by few
I may sound foolish to walk down the aisle of fire
But the day will come, when I will tame this fire with my burning desires

Its these things that define and complete me
They are more than what I ever want to be
And I would rather prefer to perish
Than give in to being what the world wants me to be

To A New Life; To A New Destination

2010-03-09T08:39:00.000-08:00

Few years back, a boy sat at the back seat of a car in early morning hours as the car zoomed by the Ring Road to the New Delhi ISBT. The boy was to board the bus for Jalandhar where he was to join NIT and study for four years. Four years later when he came back a man, he never knew that within a month he will embark on a new journey, a journey to the “Scotland of the East”. That journey ended yesterday as that man sat in the back seat of a taxi (incidentally the same car model) and zoomed past the highway to Guwahati.
Last two days have been nostalgic, memorable and emotional. I have never felt so bad about leaving friends since the day I left Bombay in the monsoon of 2007 after completing TIFR- VSRP. I still remember the day I left, how my angels (MJ, PK and KD) along with SRV and DS were all emotional and on the verge of crying before the train left for Delhi.
Somehow I missed that feeling of leaving when I left NIT. Perhaps the time was not right then as few of us got our joining delayed and a job search was on for us. And I thought that I would never be able to feel that way from then. But I was wrong; two years at IIM changed it all. Ever since I decided to stay back for a few more days than most of my classmates who left one by one each day, I did feel the emotions coming in. After an emotional farewell and the following party where for the first time the party didn’t stop even after the lights went off at 1AM, I realized that I am going to badly miss this place.
The next day many people left, including ACD, AB and MA. Though we were not on the best of terms, I still had a few of the greatest days spent along with them. As I opened my eyes that day, the voice of John Denver filled my ears. So ACD was leaving and I had to get up. As these guys left, I turned back with a heavy heart knowing that the next day AG will also leave. On Holi, AG left too making me without a ‘friend’ for a considerable amount of time. I used to go around the campus and sit down at the Idea Spawn reliving the days me and AG spent talking there about everything in life.
I knew that soon I would leave too missing people who already left, who will leave and those who will stay back. Not only people from my batch but also a few of the juniors with whom I spent a lot of quality time. In the last days of my stay, I wished that I could make a time dilator which could lengthen every moment I spent at Shillong.
Meanwhile god played his part well. I was to leave on 5th of March but somehow I wasn’t able to get the much needed ticket to Delhi. I failed twice in getting the ticket which made me smile for a few more moments. I finally got a ticket on the 6th for the train on 8th. The moment I was handed that piece of paper, I felt like tearing it out to pieces as I didn’t want to go. But life has to move on, so with a heavy heart and a fake smile on my face I came back to campus.
That evening in a smaller version of the ‘High Tea’, I hosted DA & AJ with peanuts, chikki, revdi, icecream, aloo chop, Aliva and Tea offcourse prepared by me at my room. Few more moments to be remembered, few more memories to relive, I thought. The next few hours were spent among friends especially (SK who has been in love with chickens so much that he got Chicken Pox). I was to host a High Tea that day for some of my juniors and SK would not have been able to make it, so I wanted to compensate for it. In that ground floor room of the new hostel we spent an hour chatting about all random stuff (from his love for NT :P to selecting electives for the second year).
Later that evening, some of us took a taxi to a café in Central Shillong for the last ‘high tea’ hosted by me. I was joined by EA, AU, AJ, SC, RG and NM, all juniors of mine. After all it was the last ‘High Tea’, so it had to be special. We spent a great evening together with Pasta, pastries and coffee (well Ice tea was the only Tea thing there). Clicking pictures and cracking jokes while Bob Marley played on in the background and I really felt that the clock should stop then and there. But it didn’t, and we did came back but that day AJ pulled one of the most ‘KODAK’ moments in my life. I was overwhelming with emotions that night and was feeling miserable as I was to leave Shillong the next day.
Next day was spent in packing, meeting people (read professors), eating one of the most sumptuous meals of my life in Shillong (Thanks to Prof. MD) and clicking pictures of the campus. The day ended as the sun went down and I was all set to leave post dinner. I was going alone that night and it was supposed to be an adventure (Night Out at a railway station) but that was now the last thing on my mind. Just as I finished packing AU & RG came in to bid adieu with a note that reminded me of my maritime days ahead and I once again lost a bet to AU (Typical Me).
A night before I was to leave, DA was talking to me and I in my usually flamboyant way reiterated “Jaayenge to style se jaayenge” as she laughed away. Anyways the moment was there, I must say it was a beautiful night, with not a single speck of cloud in the horizon. Stars were all twinkling their way and a mild breeze was on. SK, CJ and BVM helped me out with my bags into the taxi. The moment for saying goodbye was there now. But I was still waiting for the ‘Navratnas’ (:P) and suddenly I got a call from EA asking me to meet at the baddy court. As I went back from the taxi to the baddy court I remembered a favor AG asked me on the chat a few hours before and I was to do him a favor. EA & DA got one of most amazing gifts I could ask for and I reciprocated by a Jadoo ki Jhappi to both of them (One from me and one from AG). The sequence of Jadoo Ki Jhappi continued with people coming in from my year (MK, DSG, SVC, TP, BP, SB). SC & AJ (The NITA gang) did me favors by “two khikhs in my b***”. Finally AU, RG and NS came too completing the “Jadoo ki Jhappi Day” for me.
Sweet Goodbyes were uttered out and I finally sat down in that taxi, to go down the road for one final time. As I looked back from the window at the people standing behind smiling, I finally felt that the journey was worth the effort. In the silhouette of a stary night stood majestically the “MayurBhanj Palace” wishing “Zill-e-Illahi” a final goodbye.
And slowly the car moved along the winding roads of West Khasi Hills towards another journey and another destination.
(This piece was written while I sat in the Guwahati – New Delhi Rajdhani as it moved from Kishanganj to Barsoi (Both in North Bihar, India) on 8th March 2010.)
Luv U Guys
GodSpeed
Zilli/ACB

Walk into the sunset

2010-03-01T23:45:00.001-08:00

Dedicated to the Class of 2010 - IIM Shillong

Walk into the sunset, O wanderlust

Walk down the snowy mountains, walk down the paths laid with dust

Life is a journey with beginning or end

No one knows where the road will go after the next bend

Forget all the pains, forget all the sorrows

Spread the cheer as you walk down, let others borrow

There will be gardens of Eden and there will be empty quarters

But the song you sing should not die down as you walk farther

Walk into the lonely nights with a smile

Make your journey, one to remember and worthwhile

There will be dawn after the dark night before you realize

Do not give in to the darkness; the dawn will be a cherished prize

Walk into the sunset, O wanderlust

Pack those bags and don’t let your dreams gather dust

Life will be a happy song only if you sing with a smile

Steer your boat to the elusive emerald isle

Godspeed

ACB

Alvida

2010-02-28T16:48:00.000-08:00

On Saturday 27th of February, I had one of the most wonderful days of my life. It was a farewell given to us (Class of 2010) by our dear juniors (Class of 2011). On a parting note AJ from the junior batch said something which touched my heart and I wanted to reply to

AJ said:

“kahan aansuon ki yeh saugaat hogi

naye log honge nayi baat hogi

main har haal mein muskurata rahoonga

tumhari mohabbat agar saath hogi

charagon ko aankhon mein mehfuj rakh lo

badi door tak raat hi raat hogi

musafir hain hum bhi musafir ho tum bhi.

na jaane kis mod par fir mulakat hogi”

All I wanted to say is :

“Aansu to sookh jaayenge aaj nahi to kal

Muskurate hue yaad karoge tum jab yeh pal

Naye logon main jab tum dhoondhoge kahin

Hum to hamesha khade milenge tumko wahin

Yeh dostana itna aasan nahi hoga bhulana

Badalta hai to sirf musafiron ka thikana

Aaj nahin to kal hum fir zaroor milenge

Abhi ke liye alvida dost, hum bas hi itna kahenge”

Thank you to all my juniors for the wonderful one year we shared, few have impacted me strongly in these times and I will surely miss them in my days to come. But life is really very short to forget people and I am sure we will cross paths again, once you reach the corporate world.

Best Wishes

ACB

Life is a Song !!!

2010-02-25T20:17:00.000-08:00

Living my last few days at IIM, chatting with friends, reading a book with no deadlines, enjoying the February breeze, listening to vintage jazz....and off course taking an 8 hour nap.....This is what bliss is all about....

Anyways some random thoughts are wandering in my mind....so here they are

You are the singer and life is a song
It can be a solo or a duet
It can be either short or long
No orchestra needed and no high pitched clarinet

You start with a few notes and build upon time
You can sing as bad or good you want 'coz no one should care a dime
You can have a few backup singers
To help you out when you voice lingers

You need'nt have people for singing to
You may have an occasional audience, you will always have a few
You can sing an opera or whine your blues
You are the centerstage singer wearing classy suede shoes

You can sing a duet with the one you desire
You can sing in the moonlight, you can sing by the winter bonfire
You are the singer and life is a song
Sing as loud you want, sing as much as you long