Vivek Singh Blogs

Do You Hate Someone?

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 15:48:00 +0000

I published this simple yet insightful story in the last edition of 'Bubbles' our company fun-letter. Take time to read it:

Vivek

Do You Hate Someone

A kindergarten teacher decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his plastic bag will depend on the number of people he hates. So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for one week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.

The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for one week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just one week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime?“

Luck

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 07:45:00 +0000

I envy Aamir Khan’s success. The amount of love and respect he draws is unparalleled. While he educated us about ‘dyslexia’ in ‘Taare Zamin Par’, he also inspired millions to pursue their calling through ‘3 Idiots’, which has gained cult status now. What helped him deliver such path breaking movies? Was it just luck?

In quest to discover answer to my question, I watched many of his interviews, read many articles, went through media reports. And here are some facts, which I feel pushed him to the top:

1. Focus: At one point of time, Aamir did have his share of flops. Before ‘Mela’ bombed at the box office, his career was fluctuating. The classic failure of ‘Mela’ gave him insight to rethink his approach to the films and he stuck to One Film at a Time and No Work on Sunday philosophy.

2. Quality above Money: He gave up the greed to make fast money by whatever came his way. It’s not easy as actors are the most insecured lots. Since then, he only did the films which excited him. The first outcome was ‘Lagaan’, which was nominated to Academy Awards in Best Foreign Language Film category.

3. Reinvent the Idea: He recognized the changing aspirations of the society and reinvented the concept of socially responsible films, which used to be appreciated only by critics. He made some of them huge commercial success.

4. Quest for Excellence: He goes deep into everything he does and absorbs the characters he plays. Imagine a 40 plus man, the father of two, playing the role of a teen in 3 Idiots. Don’t blame the media who calls him Mr. Perfectionist.

5. Everyone Should Win: He firmly believes in Win-Win. Therefore, his movies and not sold at exorbitant prices. If it’s a success everyone wins, if it’s a failure, everyone shares.

All this reminds me of the following poem:

Luck

He worked by day;
And toiled by night.
He gave up play;
And some delight.
Dry books he read;
New things to learn.
And forged ahead;
Success to earn.
He plodded on with;
Faith and pluck;
And when he won;
Men called it luck.

The Performance Syndrome

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 07:34:00 +0000

The recent ouster of Saurabh Ganguly from IPL 4 has left me thinking: Is good performance enough to retain your job? Dada’s performance has been praiseworthy throughout and this time nobody even bid for me. What went wrong?

If you notice closely, after Shah Rukh Khan, Saurabh has been the most prominent face of the team. He had become popular to the extent that: individual could supersede the institution. The cheers at the matches were more for Dada than to the team. Eventually Dada became a threat to KKR and he was dispended. It’s pure business!

Could Dada have done anything to retain his job? May be!

1. I’m sure Saurabh must have enjoyed every success. Every time he hit a ton, it must have reinforced the feeling that he was indispensible. He was wrong.

2. There must have been multiple signals of his ouster. He was not enough intelligent catch and interpret them.

3. He could have made effort to make sure the image of institution is not threatened, which he did not.

My final words, performance makes you myopic. If you are performing well, it’s easy to get blinded to the other factors.

So, keep your glasses on for a wider vision and don’t forget to refresh your sensors to catch the imminent threats. You may still be dumped, but it will not be a surprise for you.

The Dark Candle

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 09:37:00 +0000

Do you have the tendency to crib over the past? It's not very uncommon. The following story teaches us to let go the past and enjoy life. It's worth a few minutes of yours.

Love!
Vivek

The Dark Candle

A man had a little daughter--an only and much beloved child. He lived only for her, she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.

His best efforts proved fruitless, however, and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends, refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self.

Then one night he had a dream. He was in heaven and witnessing a grand pageant of the entire little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white robed, angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed, however, that one child's candle was not lit. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing towards her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and asked, "How is that your candle is the only one not lit?" "Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out again," she said.

Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and it's effects were immediate. From that hour on he was no longer a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candle be extinguished by his useless tears.

Get Ready for Everything!

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 07:29:00 +0000

"Don't get ready for something, get ready for everything."

This quote by Warren Bennis held my attention this morning when I was browsing 'The Economic Times.' See, How well it fits into our life.

Mostly things don't work the way we want them.. then leads disappointment, frustration and worry. Why do we feel bad? Because we expect the things to go well. What if we are always on guard, we mentally prepare ourselves that things may go wrong any time in any direction?

I have noticed, however well you prepare, a few strings stay loose. Hardly have I ever been able to anticipate all problems associated with a project and prepare against all of them. Neither it's a good idea to do so.. as you are likely to get lost in the maze of details losing sight of goals. So what's the point?

While handling a project:

a. Begin with the end in mind-The good old principle. Be clear, what your goals are. What finally do you want out of it.

b.Anticipate major roadblocks and challenges you may encounter, and prepare against them.

c. Start the game and be ready for the things to go wrong anywhere.

Trust me you will be far more composed and in better position to handle it.

What's in the Name?

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 15:26:00 +0000

While browsing through the ‘Videos’ section of CNN IBN, today I came across a beautiful show called ‘Zindagi Live’ and after a long time I enjoyed a talk show so much that tears rolled down more than once. The guest today was Boman Irani.

Without digressing from the topic, I must let you know that one of the rare qualities what Boman has is: To make people feel special. This came out consistently from most of the people who knew him. What is even more compelling is that he has retained this despite all the success.

Upon being asked why he makes people feel important, he says, “I make others feel important because I want to feel special too.” Nothing new, but I find this missing in many of us. There is no dearth of people who mistreat others to prove their importance, but Boman certainly does it differently.

His wife shares, “Boman always looks for the name badge and makes sure to call the person by name, be it a bar or a movie theatre.” Considering my bad track of name recalling, this is indeed a very helpful tip for me.

This reminds me of a few basic things we can do to make people feel special:

a. Control the urge to speak. Listen!
b. Be specific while giving compliments
c. Display positive body language. Smile!
d. Shed arrogance, humility is appreciated by all, and not to forget,
e. Call them by name.

The King Of Hope

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 10:33:00 +0000

After the landslide victory in recent polls, CM Nitish Kumar has certainly become a global icon. The modest man, who reinforced the idea of ‘Action speaks louder than words’ has attracted attention from Forbes, WSJ and many other International Media houses recently while he has already been a darling to domestic media . He has transformed Bihar from a land of destitution to a state of glory, without any doubt. The person, who was a second class politician till a few years back, has become an example in Indian political circle. I was not surprised when a leading news anchor gave him higher rating than President Obama. He has set new standards, scrapped many political myths and has come out with unique solution to perennial problems. All this brings me to the question—“Do we need to relook at the definition of leadership?”

Some of the external qualities expected in global leaders are: Charisma, eloquence, positive body language, designer clothing, sense of humor etc. which make them pleasing to our eyes and music to our ears while the internal qualities expected are: Integrity, Commitment, Magnanimity, Humility, Openness, Fairness, Objectivity etc. While Nitish scores badly on the first set of qualities, he gets distinction on the second set. This bring me to the conclusion that:

a. If you are committed and hardworking, results will show.
b. Charisma and glorification may sway people for some time, but finally result matters.
c. If you can deliver, who cares about the look and accent.
d. Humility draws respect and trust.
e. You don’t really need a designer suit and fine language to inspire hope.
f. Astute planning pays off.
g. What’s done on the ground, cannot be erased with words.
h. You can shut others up by justifying, but they know very well what you are up to and
i. Even if you are not loud, the world will listen and clap if they believe in you.

Self Respect vs Ego

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 08:57:00 +0000

I have been trying hard to distinguish Self Respect from Ego. Here are some of the findings which I feel differentiates the two:

Assertiveness=Self Respect
Aggression=Ego

Competing against Yourself: Self Respect
Competing against Others: Ego

Listening and speaking: Self Respect
Speaking and Speaking: Ego

Taking the responsibility: Self Respect
Blaming: Ego

Saying- I’m sorry: Self Respect
‘Silence’ when you commit mistakes: Ego

Use of polite language: Self Respect
Abusing others: Ego

Giving the deserved credit: Self Respect
Taking everyone’s credit: Ego

Appreciation and constructive feedback: Self respect
Fault finding: Ego

Sharing required information: Self Respect
Holding information to prove self importance: Ego

Focus on Objective: Self Respect
Focus on Person: Ego

I wish you to look at these differentiators from wider perspective. And you very well know, which one to adopt.

The Cracked Pot

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 08:52:00 +0000

We have a monthly funletter for the employees in the company called 'Bubbles.' Last month this story was contributed by one of the staff and I have receive many compliments for this. Therefore, thought of sharing with you.

We tend to have inferiority complex because of our weakness, that's where we go wrong. Not just strength, our weaknesses too make us special. This story is all about this.

Take time to read and post your comments.

Cheers and love!
Vivek

The Cracked Pot

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.' The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?

'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.' Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You should take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

Don't React. Respond!

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 08:20:00 +0000

I read this article a few days back at one of my friends' Facebook post. It does deserve a few minutes of yours.

Love
Vivek

Don't React. Respond!

I happened to go to a coffee shop on a road side very recently while traveling..Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on on a lady. I wondered if this was the cockroach’s response to all the glory that was spoken about it! She started screaming out of fear. With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my people or my boss at work place that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. Its not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that hurts me.

Lessons learnt from the story:
I understood, I should not react in life. I should always respond. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always intellectual.

The Negative Inspiration

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 17:01:00 +0000

The Negative Inspiration
All of us admire qualities in others and sometimes we like them so much that we try to incorporate them into our lives. That’s what we do very much consciously.

However, a few times we know what the deed of the other person is not right. We know that’s not a great thing to do. But, while landing into such a situation, we perform the same act, despite knowing it’s not right. Why? Because I saw someone else doing it. I call it ‘Negative Inspiration.’ Somehow our mind tries to justify a wrong deeds just because someone else was doing it. We become less rational at that time and somewhat escapist.

I was about to do the same thing yesterday, but I got it right. On many other occasions in past, I did not correct myself.

This is what happened. I was in hurry to reach office. Right after I parked the car, I knew that I needed to put the sun shade on. But I didn’t want to do it. Was feeling lazy, while my mind said it should do it. Then I looked at the car parked next to mine. My colleague had not done it. Now I got a reason, not to do it because my colleague had not done.

Another example, a more serious one. You are stuck in traffic and desperate to reach office, but you feel helpless. The emergency lane is empty and you find it very tempting to use it in order to cut the traffic. You maintain restraint. Then you see the guy behind you snaking to the emergency lane and wheeling away. While you are tempted, you see a few more vehicles doing the same. The negative action of the first guy prompted many others.

I guess, human beings get this quality by default. Very few are able to restrain. The best way to prevent yourself from falling into the trap of negative inspiration is to Stop and Think. Most often we do not analyze our action consciously, that’s exactly what we need to do.

Merry Christmas and have a blessed new year 2011
Vivek

A Special Morning Walk

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 05:14:00 +0000

For last few weeks, I have been able to continue morning walk on the gulf road. Thanks to the reduced working hours during Ramadan which triggered this initiative.

The freshness of air in the morning and to see the changing colors of sun is delightful. Besides this, a walk in nature is a fertile ground for new ideas and fills you with lasting energy.

Today I removed my shoes and walked barefoot on the grass. The tickle of green grass to my sole was something I can’t express in words. Tried this out with closed eyes. Every time my step fell on the grass, the spikes of cold grass made me feel blissful.

Secondly, I tried mixing walk with jog. I would run for some time, when tired, I would start walking, after some time I took rest sitting on the bench and again continued jogging. I envied those who were religiously running, dropping sweat beads from the forehead, but I just wanted to be comfortable not ready to tire myself with this exercise.

After reaching the viewpoint triangle, I spread my hands, closed the eyes and tried to hear the sound of flutter which my clothes were creating against the wind coming from the sea. The waves were more active than usual and created varied noise while splintering some parts on me. When I opened the eyes after a few minutes, it felt so different.

While returning, I tried counting the number of skyscrapers in Kuwait from the gulf road jogging tracks. Despite several trials, I couldn’t get it right. Still it was fun. Sometimes just trying something new feels great. I will try it again next time.

Finally, I came to the car and played Hare Krishna bhajans while driving back home. It was a special ride because there were hardly any cars on the road and I preferred a longer route. The fast ride gives you thrill, but the slow one is even better. On a free six lane road, I was driving at 50-60 km per hour, Imagine! While driving I was able to appreciate nature, streets and myself for the ability to resist from driving fast.

Can there be a better start for Friday?

Don't Do It Too Hard

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 07:59:00 +0000

Every time I have worked too hard towards something, I have lost interest faster. And once I gave that up, hardly did I go back to it.

Every now and then I keep getting groundbreaking (that’s what I feel) ideas and then I try to refine it. As long as I’m obsessed with it, everything else takes a backseat. It continues for some days or some weeks (if the idea is really great) and suddenly I feel it’s too boring and quit.

After a great amount of introspection, I have concluded that I didn’t quit because the idea was bad, I did it because my obsession faded and it became too boring due to repeated thinking about the same thing.

Like our body, our brain too needs new experiences. If we overdo one thing for some time, we are likely to lose interest and go back to square one. So the question is- how to balance it and keep our interest alive?

I have tried and it works greatly for me. Now, whenever I’m working on a new idea, I keep myself guarded. I look for the opportunity to identify the indication of fatigue. Once I feel getting close to it, I give myself a well deserved rest for some days and start again with revived interest.

And the biggest advantage is: Nothing takes the backseat anymore.

True Love

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 11:40:00 +0000

My other commitments are keeping me too occupied. Therefore, I'm unable to blog regularly.

Just a few days back, while looking for a story to be published in our company Fun letter, I came across this one. Not to say, this is one of the most touching stories I have ever read.

Have some time to go through it and comment.

Love
Vivek

True Love

It was a busy morning, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said to the doctor that he was in a hurry, as he had an appointment at 9:00am.

The doctor took his vital signs and started evaluating his wound.

On examining, he saw it was well healed, so he talked to a nurse and got the needed supplies to remove the sutures and redress the wound. While dressing the wound, the doctor asked him if he had another doctor's appointment that morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told no, as he needed to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife.

The doctor inquired about his wife’s health. The elderly man told that she had been there for a while because she is a victim of Alzheimer's disease. As they talked, the doctor asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him for five years now.

The doctor was surprised and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted doctor’s hand and said, “She doesn't know me but I still know who she is.”

True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Damn the Competition

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 07:59:00 +0000

Did you ever think about competition and it scared the shit out of you? This happened to many many times.

I was then preparing for Combined Defense Services (CDS). Whenever I though about those competing with me, I tried to be optimistic, thought-- Let's look at it as a challenge and work harder. But, truth was-- the optimistic approach hardly helped in subsiding the fear. I could not stop myself from thinking how difficult it would be to contest with hundreds of thousands of applicants.

The more I thought about it, the scarier it looked and it wasn't helping at all in any way.

So, I decided to just do, what I was supposed to-- Stop thinking and start working.

Although the fear was not eliminated, yet the intensity of work was so high that everything else took a backseat. I continued for a few months, appeared for the exam and wasn't sure what would happen.

After the few months, the result was announced and I didn't care to check. One fine afternoon, I got a promotional letter from a coaching institute for Interview Preparation, which congratulated me for getting through the written examination. I was surprised. I went online, browsed through the list of successful candidates, yes, I was one of them.

Do you know even the toppers are as scared as you and me. Only after the result is announced, they come to know what a genius they are.

So, the crux is:
Damn the competition, and don't care how many are in the queue.

You job is just to do the best.

You Can Do It Better Than Me

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 14:31:00 +0000

You would agree when I say-- The higher you go on corporate ladder, the word 'ME' gets stronger. The result: Suppressed creativity, lack of motivation, low morale and inability to take decision among the team members.

On many occasions, I have seen the Senior Executive cutting down the discussion midway and announcing her decree. The silence follows, and the questions are invited just for the sake of it.
By this I don't challenge the Boss's ability to take the best decision. Mostly the senior executives have more experience, better education and wider vision than the team members.

My point is: Do we aim at just getting the work done (machine and animals do that better) or inspire the team to set new milestones, converge creativity, and create a fountain of path-breaking initiatives.

If you feel the team should deliver more than asked for, you must have belief in the phrase

"You can do it better than me." and see what follows.

True Test Of Character

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 14:01:00 +0000

Yesterday, I was stuck in car inside the parking lot of a leading mall for over forty minutes. It was the first time I experienced Friday evening traffic at the Avenues. I could see otherwise well-behaved citizens honking impatiently and pushing ahead out of turn. That made me think- Just a few extra minutes in traffic makes people lose nerves and break rules, what about those who lack shelter and can’t feed their family?

It’s far easy to stay morally upright when your tummy is full, a nice suit to wear and a beautiful car to drive.

Let’s suppose you are standing next to a bakery unfed for two days and don’t have a single penny in your wallet. The Baker trusts you with the store till the time he comes back from the prayer. Can you restrain yourself from stealing? Your answer could be yes.. what you will actually do at that time.. even you don’t know. Few of us have experienced such predicament.

It’s very difficult to hold on to your principles when the time is tough and loss of hope. Trust me! That’s the time to test your true character.

Adequately Resourced

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 13:57:00 +0000

I generally get brilliant ideas at unusual places.. in the washroom, at the airport lounge, while driving or on a morning walk.

In none of these situations I carry a notepad or pen. As a consequence, when I reach office or home and try to recollect, half the ideas are already vanished.

I must admit I’m old fashioned when it comes to gadgets. I hate typing at my Samsung mobile, looking at which the sales guy gave me a sarcastic look when I asked him to show iPhone 4.

I shared the above concern (inability to recollect thoughts) with a friend of mine and his quick advice was- “Buy a phone with a voice-recorder.”

My Samsung already has a voice-recorder which I’ve never used. The problem was not with the phone, but my ability to recognize this feature.

I see many cribbing for lack of resources. When you stop over and ponder, mostly you will notice, you already have all that you to need to carry on the path to realizing your dreams.

Don’t use lack of resource as an excuse to stop you from reaching your turest potential . Keep your mind and eyes open. You’ll find yourself resourced enough.

The (un)Objective Comment

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 13:55:00 +0000

“I loved Kites. Bollywood has come a long way.” I excitedly shared this with my friends.

“It’s bullshit. I can’t imagine Hrithik Roshan acting. Better you go and watch The Notebook. It’s true copy.” My friend Steven snapped.

I could imagine the conversation leading to argument and decided to change the topic. We started discussing how fantastic the pickup of BMW was which we were driving in.

After spending the fantastic evening in the Dubai bar, when we reached back the hotel, I was curious to know why Steven did not like Kites. I tried to probe and he endlessly reiterated that the idea was not original. I too am, not very appreciative of stolen concepts and agreed with him. However, I personally like Hrithik Roshan’s flawless performance and can bet it was one of his best. So, I added with caution, “ Where do you think Hrithik could have done better.”

“I just don’t like that nut.”

“But, you said his acting was bad.”

“I just hate the look of that six-fingered.” He snapped.
“How’s that related to his acting.” I questioned.

No answer. I assumed he did not know whether Hrithik’s performance was flawed.

This reminds that, over time our perception is built and it’s not easy to challenge them. This may sometimes stop from appreciating a great deed or celebrating a big achievement. If you still hate someone, ask yourself—WHY? If you don’t have an answer, look for something to appreciate.

Now, I’m trying to figure out why I hate Shah Rukh Khan so much.

The Guy In The Glass

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:21:00 +0000

I just read this poem and have realised how truthful it is. Thanks Dale Wimbrow for bringing such a beautiful poetry to us.

Not to be missed!

Vivek

The Guy In The Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life,
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous,
difficult test If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Don't Tweet Trouble

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:27:00 +0000

In the last few months we have heard at least a dozen controversies related to social networking sites and blogs. Laymen have lost jobs and ministers have lost their cabinet berths. Reporters have been fired and diplomats have been snubbed.

While facebook, twitter and blogger have made every man a super man and every lady a wonderwoman, they have created a himalayan imbalance in our lives. The conflict between personal opinion and official stand had never been rare. What is creating chaos these days is, the opinions which were limited to a close group of friends are reaching out to millions. While emotions run high among humans, it is not easy to stop yourself from tapping a tweet on your smartphone. By the time emotion settles and you realize what a misfire it was, news channels are already discussing it. Then starts protests, effigy burning, war of words and so on. This whole new set up gives no scope to damage-control. I have even seen some people closing down their accounts and many more are confused.

While the concept of social networking has empowered us to a new level, it expects us to display a great amount of restraint and responsibility.

To play safe what I do is- Access Facebook and Twitter once a day and before I post anything I’m very clear, it’s not going to cause any trouble. If in dilemma, I don’t post at all.

Happy Tweeting!

Don't Express An Opinion, Don't HAVE An Opinion

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 13:38:00 +0000

Whether it be a Board room or a Drawing room, silence prevails on most critical issues. Someone out there knows very well to leverage it and decision is made, although unilateral, but is assumed democratic.

Just after the meeting, I notice tete a tete taking place among the dummies (as I call them), about how autocratic the decision was. They complain that an opportunity to think was not given to them, it was too hurried, they were not prepared etc. Hardly ever they admit that their silence has prompted one-sided verdict. My comment to them in a simple phrase is:

“If you don’t express and opinion, you don’t HAVE an opinion.”

I do not advocate the vedic verse- Maunam Sarvarth Saadhanam (Silence solves all the problems). I rather believe, Silence sprouts most of the crises. More often than not, Silence is assumed as consent than otherwise.

When I search the reasons for Silence, I get the following answers:

A. Dilemma
B. Reluctance to hurt someone’s feelings and
C. Inability to take responsibility.

Don’t misinterpret my expectation, I don’t hope one to be George Bush. I just wish, s/he must express what s/he feels. In each of these situations, I have tried and tested a few ways out, and they work. This is what I advise:

A. Dilemma: State that you are not sure, you need more time to have a stand. A delayed verdict is better than a wrong verdict.

B. Reluctance to hurt someone’s feelings: Think of the consequence if you are silent. If it is justified, then keep mum. However, others must note that your silence is not assumed ‘Yes’. If not, the truth must prevail and you get an opportunity to try out diplomacy.

C. Inability to take responsibility: Remember! The pivot of the world are those who can take a call. You may have to find reasons to justify but it’s well worth it. Don’t hush the leader to emerge from you.

Do the Words Speak Your Mind?

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 10:06:00 +0000

Recently, a friend regretted that she wanted to tell her boss how terrible she felt working with him, but on facing, ended up saying how handsome he looked that day. The worst happened when the Boss responded with smile considering this a compliment oblivious of the fact, she had running in mind.

This is a classic example of imbalance between the words and mind.
I myself have faltered on various occasions when it came to express what I thought. If the person was superior in hierarchy or someone who I’m not very comfortable with, made things all the more difficult. Sometimes it also happened that I didn’t know how to respond to a comment and ended up saying something what did not make sense.

After deep thinking, I have reached a conclusion that the factors which created the imbalance between my speech and mind could be one or the combination of these: courage, rapport with the person, state of mind, clarity of thought, sensitivity of the topic and the ability to articulate.

The irony is- this angle is never discussed in any communication training. If you too are down with this sickness, I have got a tip. Whenever the tongue slips, ask yourself WHY? And commit yourself not to repeat the same mistake ever.

Else, your may find a friend writing a blog on you.

Trust or E-mail

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 09:14:00 +0000

I hope you will agree if I say our communication have become too complex. SMS, web chat, Skype, emails, mobile and everything else associated with technology have rather added to the agony than making it easier.

It’s difficult to articulate the pain I undergo almost every day. Yesterday I needed to tell something sensitive to my colleague (her cabin is located 2 meters away) in a diplomatic manner, as they say. I nearly spent half an hour confused among three choices- Intercom, Face to face and email and as business goes, I ended up emailing, just to make sure I have a documentary evidence if things turn wrong. Without any delay, I got a reply with carbon copy to my Boss. I can’t challenge her aptitude, she proved smarter. She trusts others far less than I.

The erosion of trust has reached such a limit that more than expressing, we have started documenting. The more we try to use fancy corporate jargon to reach closer to manuscript our real intention, the higher others tend to misunderstand.

This reminds me how nice were days when people didn’t have choice to document. They would just meet face to face and sort out everything. I guess, they didn’t have an option, but to trust. I wish some technology brings that back. Life would be much simpler.

Fail Quickly Fail Small

noreply@blogger.com (Vivek Singh) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 08:30:00 +0000

This statement by Rekitt Benckiser (RB) CEO Bert Becht caught my attention when I was browsing through the recent edition of Harvard Business review.

Although the context there was different, but I’m putting this into our life in general. When I retrospect, I realize, all the winning moments made me proud and I moved ahead in life with laughter on my face and cheer in my heart. I hardly remember anytime I sat and tried to figure out, despite the win, were there any flaws.

Success doesn’t equate perfection. On countless occasions we succeed and it’s very common to get blinded to the flaws.

Failure is painful, troubling, sometimes embarrassing and many times disheartening but it gives a scope to remove the flaws, reconsider the plan, rethink the idea and rewrite the history. After the failure, we are challenged, excited and thrilled and ready to outdo to reclaim the victory.

Bert further adds, “Failure is actually a huge incentive, because people get so personally competitive that they work even faster for the next success.”

How true? However, failing small is better than a titanic failure and failing quickly is better than a after the war failure. When the stakes are low, the failure leads to challenge. But, on a high stake, it results in frustration.

This reminds me of recent Toyota fiasco, which has shattered its image and shaken its profitability. What if its Prius had failed at quality testing?