w h i s p e r i n g d e s i r e s s . . . . . . . . .

Twitter & Follow your heart

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 03:30:00 +0000

Morning!

First thing's first. I was feeling rather acidic earlier this morning when mum's about to go to work, she woke me up asking where's my comb cuz she couldn't find hers. And boy it was an awful feeling, like i feel like my stomach's empty and the gastric juice keeps corroding my stomach wall but i remembered i ate a lot last night. i wonder if it has got to do with coke and choc! lulz. So then I continued to sleep til 10.20am!

Alright, just wanna share with y'all something out of the ordinary that happened around midnight last night. I got a tweet from Michaela Wallace, yea the one that sings Justin Bieber's Girlfriend. I had no idea my tweet (i did not put a @ nor # about her, i was just tweeting that i was listening to her song) would somehow be featured on Twitter or something like that I don't know. I don't hate her for that song, I just feel it's sweet. It's like, she's from another generation and she's writing a song about someone famous decades of years back. Oh God I'm bad at explaining. Like how Taylor Swift sings about her high school boyfriend - Tim McGraw, something like that. It's like you write a song in remembrance of someone. Or you dedicate a book or novel to someone. Got me? Anyway, she's one lovely girl, I hope to hear more of her songs in Country genre. FYI, I'm waiting for this particular American celebrity to tweet me, I really hope for it!

One thing that I dislike happened yesterday was that my Student Representative Council (SRC) resignation appeal got rejected. I can't believe I'm going back to that kind of busy, stressful lifestyle again. I hate it, seriously. I hate joining at the first place. People, a lesson for you to learn: DON'T LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR HEART SAYS NO CUZ YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTAND YOUR CAPABILITIES, NOT OTHERS. No matter how many people ask you to pursue on one thing that they think might be good to you. Stop, step back, and step into your soul and ask yourself within WHAT'S THE BEST FOR YOU. I'm always a sucker on this, I have a very "soft" heart where I don't wanna disappoint people so I surrender to their appeal. But HECK, THERE'S NO USE OF PLEASING ANYONE IF YOU'RE SUFFERING. But there are times I was being serious and not wanting to take up another responsibility or help with some works. But that happens one in a million probability.

I don't know how I will cope with this, but let's just pray that God will send the Holy Spirit to guide me and Jesus to bear my cross with me. But still, I still feel like saying !%#@ to the people I loathe.

Happy Monday!

10 ideas to help raise your travel (gap year) cash

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 05:17:00 +0000

Here's one thing I came across while doing my usual surfing. I normally would just share the link on Facebook and not copy-pasting on my blog like I used to do before but that was after Facebook gone global, and making me a little lazy to update my blog except for personal sharings. Well, anyway, I'll try my best to revive the blogging spirit!

Gap year travelling: I've had this on mind ever since, forever. But, I never really looked into the chances or ways I could do to achieve this. I was brought up by a very strict mother and for that entire time my life is strictly controlled and so there wasn't much communication going on in the family cuz I know all my hopes will never pass the green light. <--- My teenage thoughts back then. But ever since I enrolled university, things started to change and I start seeing some potentials to bring my mom into talking about things I wanted to do. I would not say everything is a smooth sail, because for every activities I intend to do, I must weigh the pros and cons first, and analyse with the situation I'm in, which includes finance and time. But most of the time, I get the support from mom :)

As I'm being raised single-mothered-ly, finance is sure a constraint - a single income to support family of 3 households (me, bro, mom herself) which includes food, study, clothings, and other necessities; $$ for a house in mum's hometown (Penampang) which is now in the process of being built, and etc. FYI, my dad did support us when we were younger, but things got rough between the couple (which I DO NOT KNOW WHAT), and dad ended up leaving us. But no hard feelings, he's still my dad and I still do love him for all the love, joys, support he once gave. Happy Father's Day to you, Ddy, wherever you are. I know my mom must have gone through a lot, that's why I don't wanna burden her too much with my insanity, but she's a strong woman, and I'm proud of that.

Click to watch a very sweet Father's Day video.

And as for time, public universities in Malaysia are different from other universities that allows student to choose subjects they want and any time they're comfortable with. Well, you can ask for a gap year, but it's not a famous culture here. To be taking a year off and then to continue studying with your juniors... I think most people (including me) don't do this because in Malaysia, study period is continuous. I mean, from kinder to primary to middle/high school to college to university and then work. This is the education culture here. People don't work until they get, at least a diploma/degree. Those who work after graduating high school are mostly not interested in "School", and not because of financial constraint because everyone who wishes to continue study are eligible to apply for study loan.

So, even though I can't do this in my post-teenage and early adult years, I hope I could do after I finished my Bachelor's degree! And by then, I hope I'll save enough, if not more $$$ in my account! :D

Click here for original article.

Raising Funds for a Gap Year
Ten ideas to help raise your travel cash
Gap years are by definition one of the most exciting and adventurous times of your life. You’ll travel thousands of miles, experience diverse and exciting cultures and meet plenty of fun and interesting characters along the way. Unfortunately like most things in life, it comes at a cost. Raising funds for your gap year can be a challenging task. If you’re fortunate enough to have generous parents, then great. If not, then you’ll have to look for other sources of cash to build up that much needed travel fund. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Thousands of budding young gappers resort to all kinds of fund raising techniques to raise their travel cash. Below you’ll find a bunch of ideas for inspiration.
Car boot sales – There’s nothing more satisfying than a good ol’ clear out. So check in the cupboards, dig under the bed and climb into the attic to see what treasures you can find. Car boot sales are cheap, easy and can be quite good fun if there’s a gang of you involved.
eBay – eBay is a great way to access a large market to sell unwanted items. It’s especially good for selling unwanted birthday presents and old electrical items like mp3 players or old pairs of designer sunglasses.
Trade in your mobile – If you’re finished with your phone, why not trade it in for some cash? There are plenty of websites out there offering cash for your old handsets but www.mazumamobile.com is one of the more rewarding options.
Etsy – For those of you who are talented enough to be able to create your own designs and products, www.etsy.com is a fantastic way to sell your produce and make money online.
Sponsored Events – Are you sporty/ creative/ enthusiastic? Why not put your abilities to the test and attempt to accomplish something whilst being sponsored? Running a marathon (or half), abseiling down a cliff, completing a distance bike ride or perhaps even swimming the channel are a few ideas!
Party Organising – Has it been a while since you’ve seen all of your old school friends? Why not organise a school reunion and charge a small sum for tickets to put towards a worthwhile volunteering project?
Beg, borrow and steel (within reason!) – You’ll be surprised at how much kit you’ll be able to borrow from friends and family. Just be sure to return it in good condition when you’re done with it!
Part-time job – This is one of the best ways to earn extra cash. A part-time job in the evenings or at weekends can be a great way to bulk up the bank balance on a regular and reliable schedule. Just make sure you don’t neglect those all important studies!
Bake sales – Cakes, biscuits and flap jacks are always in demand! Find a local even and ask the organisers if you can have a stall. If they try to charge you for the pleasure, tell them it’s for a volunteering trip and they’re more likely to give you the space for free.
Offer your services – Get out into your local neighbourhood and sell yourself. Mow lawns, paint fences, clean up leaves or babysit brats. If you can achieve any of these on a regular basis then they can be lucrative little money earners.
Whichever method of fund raising you decide to go for in the end, always try to remember to thank those that have helped you...after all; you wouldn’t be going if it weren’t for them!

Hope this article helps you! ;) Good luck!

NO YOU CANNOT KEEP SUN BEARS AS PETS!

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 14:13:00 +0000

Boy I just have to share this!

I've missed reading some of Siew Te, Wong's blog on WildlifeDirect. And one blog that made me burst into laughter as I read was this one. To me, as I read, it's just totally ridiculous how one could ask such question. For children to ask, it's okay; but for adult to ask (I mean, I suppose you would read more or research more about this before you refer this question to someone right?)? To me, it's just blah. I couldn't find a word to describe it.

Anyway, here's the excerpt. The ones in italics are my involuntary responses. You can continue read the comments here.

NO! YOU CANNOT KEEP SUN BEAR AS PET!
Category: Pet, Siew Te Wong, captivity
Date: May 5th 2011
By: Siew Te Wong
Last week I received an email entitled “sun bear”. I typically received a dozen or so emails with “sun bear” each week so I read the email with a normal sensation. However, my feeling was over the roof after I read it. I understand the confidentiality of personal emails that were sent to me. However, I would like to make an exception this time to share this email with all of you because this story raises a serious issue that I hope all readers should have be crystal clear after reading our blogs and knowing what we are trying to help sun bears:

NO! YOU CANNOT KEEP SUN BEAR AS PET!

Here is the email I received:
————————————————————–
Dear Mrs Wong. <---- first thing that made me laugh!
Alright, so i started browsing sites just looking at sun bears and I stumbled up yours about the conservation of wildlife that’s either endangered or protected. While watching the video about the Malaysian zoos that sell these animals illegally it got me intrigued. Basically, the just of this email is whether or not their is a legal way to gain possession of a Sun Bear as a pet. This bear is fascinating and in a few years I’d love to have one around. So while looking around I figured I would send an email and get a response.
This may seem odd or strange but I was planning on having some sort of “exotic” pet when the time comes around. Now, I don’t think of this as a prize, or something I can show off as a trophy. But merely an animal that can be nurtured in a loving and providing household.
So can it be done? Can a Sun Bear become a persons’ pet, or is it a strictly zoo animal?
I’d love to hear back
Sincerely,
C@#$ S*^&*^%
—————————————————————
This is my reply to him:

Hi C@#$,
Sorry for the late reply. Your email came to at a busy time.
Thank you for checking with me about the idea of getting a sun bear as pet. For your information, this is really a BAD idea trying to keep a sun bear as pet. It is wrong morally, socially, and legally. Sun bear is protected by law in every country within their range. Keeping or owning a sun bear without proper permit from the authority is illegal. On top of that, sun bear is a wildlife that is impossible to tame. At the end, the bear end up being locked up in metal cage performing all kind of crazy stereotypic behavior. This is a really sad, stressful, and pain for the bear, and the behavior of keeping a sun bear as pet is very sick and has to be condemn seriously. Please read my blog of the “captive sun bear series I, II, III” at http://sunbears.wildlifedirect.org/2008/06/.
In my career I have come across numerous pet sun bears in SE Asia. I consider myself very lucky as one of very few people in the world who is able to observe how sun bear live in the wild. However, I also am one of the few in the world who got to see so many “pet” sun bears, kept by so call “pet lovers”, that live in the condition that no word can describe how badly they were. The cause of this sick behavior, literary torture the bears at every second, was originated from the ill “animal loving” behavior, similar to what you plan to do. So if you ask me if it is a good idea to keep a sun bear as pet, my answer to you is “ABSOLUTELY NOT!”
As you can see our website, what we are trying to do at Bornean Sun Bear Conservation Centre is to rescue pet-caged sun bears from irresponsible and criminal bear owners. We have spent tremendous amount of efforts and resources to improve the living quality of these ex-pet bears and to help them. We are trying hard to fix the mess that these irresponsible, criminal, cool blooded bear owners have created. So if you are smart enough to see what we are trying to do, the answer is again an absolutely NOT A GOOD idea to keep sun bear as pet, and a sun bear CANNOT become a person’s pet, and it CANNOT be done! Period!
Kindest regards,
Wong
P/S: My gender is male, so please is Mr. Wong. <------- This part actually also tickles me to the max! ;)

Like Wong said, NO! YOU CANNOT KEEP SUN BEARS AS PETS! Spread the words guys! :)

For some reason, I do feel the same feeling Wong felt - We still have a long way to go. I know this feeling. It's like, you've done so much and thought you've covered everything or majority of the people knows the message, but in truth, there are still something lacking and uncovered. But whatever it is, the voyage is still on. Start setting sails and conquer every corner of the world! XD

typical blah.

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 14:37:00 +0000

Hola!

Been laying low for quite some time. How are you, World?

Anyway, just made a new banner for my blog few minutes ago. This time it has some kind of ironic twist of colors and wordings. lol i suck at explaining so i'll just leave it like that until i come up with new creative ideas?

Oh hmm I'm thinking of deleting all of my photo albums in Facebook, I mean like, with all those cyber "war" thing, I suddenly feel like, "why do I post up pictures of my personal life online?" I mean, yea even if I've set my privacy settings, but internet is man-made. What's done can be undone and what's undone can be done? Lol, what am I blabbing about? Okay, cut the story short. The risk of hacking. Who knows there might be some psychos out there and they do God-knows-what to your pictures and whatsoever information they could find about you. Haha I'm just saying. I took ICT subject in school, although it was a short lesson (due to the reason that my mum forced me to move to pure science class), but still, I know a thing or two about the borderless mechanics. Okay not gonna torture you bout this already. Let's move on to something else.

Gosh, I can't wait for 27th of June! Not gonna tell you why though :x Oh, Oh, I'm gonna fly to Sandakan on 30th June for my sun bear volunteering program. Yeap, I signed up for it myself. I never done any volunteer work, what the more FOR ONE WHOLE MONTH? Independent living. I like trying to live by myself, exploring new places. If only I could experience the Western culture or the STUDENT culture - studying, travelling, part time job, etc. Geez, how I envy my friends who could experience all these why I'm stuck studying in Malaysia's most boring place. Kelantan. I have to discipline myself, I have to restrict myself from the activities I normally do, so that I won't end up "harassing" their norms. 2 more years, to break it down, I'll have one and a half year in K-land, and half year somewhere doing my internship. I'm hoping to do my interns overseas. But I'm still not sure about it. We'll see how. To go overseas I surely need hell lots of $$$!

Okay it's near midnight now, I'ma got to bed now. Don't wanna mess up with my sleep cycle. Gotta get used to sleeping early and waking up early so I won't have any difficulties during my volunteering month!

Night y'all!

Happy Mother's Day + back in the olden days

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Fri, 06 May 2011 08:06:00 +0000

Well, it's been about two weeks I'm in Labuan now. And what have I done?

Week 1 - All about Sun bears, royal wedding, mum's birthday, high
school reunion
Week 2 - Korean dramas and PMS cravings

Today, I thought to myself that I should watch the TV, instead of locking myself in the room and staring at the laptop screen. But, heh, I don't feel like watching TV. I've not watched TV for the time I'm home except for the royal wedding of about 2-3 hours. I d

on't know why, maybe I'm used to not watching the television while I was in uni?

Well anyway, I made a new banner for my blog. It's a mother's day banner. I put up pictures of me, mum, bro and my late grandmother. I wanted to put all pics of us, but I just couldn't find any. But guess what, I found something interesting while looking for photos in mum's cupboard! I found her old handbags! Hehe, vintage! I'll post up the pictures belo

So, in this entry, I would like to wish Happy Mother's day to all mothers out there :)

Funny how I don't see it as *trendy* that time (kindergarten time).

This was my aunt's but she gave it to mum when she moved house.

I don't know when this was taken...

I think I was 9 or 10 years old...

I don't remember how old I was too... Maybe 9? Had a dance show that day. And that big patch on the forehead... Haha, yea, a history in the kitchen when playing "hit-and-run".

And this, I don't remember when too... Erm... 10 or 11 years old? I sing a Chinese song but I forgot which song...

Alright, that's what I found during my "treasure hunt". Gonna continue watching my drama!

me vs. ME ?

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 03:02:00 +0000

You know... Sometimes, responsibility sucks big time!

I hate to say this, but at this point on, I seriously don't think I fit this job. I tried to not freak out when I see what I saw, well I did freaked out, a little. I mean, come on, who needs to be flexible here? Me? You? Like, okay, I know we need to be highly mature and thinking differently than others, but hey, reality check, we're still students. I'm still a student. I don't earn money, well I wish I could. Do you know how "cheap" is the flight ticket? LBU-KL-KB ? Not to forget, taxi fare. And THE most important one, being home, since my home is separated far away by the South China Sea. I'm sorry I can't be like one of the students in my uni who always go on business trip, church talks, visiting other countries, and RARELY go back home... I have not reached that level yet, I'm hoping to reach that, but given money and space, I just can't. Like I said, I don't earn money. I've already asked a lot from my mother and I don't wanna ask for more.

Alright alright I know above are all excuses, but seriously, help me make sense out of it. Or at least, snap me out of "reality". Alright, I have plans to do during the hols, it's not that I have everything fixed in my diary. But at least I know what I wanna do and I'm doing everything - from searching, inquiring to applying in the very times that I'm totally free from the constraints of being in the university.

You know what, what I've learned throughout my involvement with so many activities, join different kinds of groups, meeting people, I really really got a valuable lesson that I regretted not knowing earlier. That is, everyone is different, and you can't just dictate them based on your likes and preferences, and of course, the current state of you being "up" than others. Yea, it's hurtful to hear this, especially when you've been playing dictatorship all this while, like I did before. But I'm glad to have known this by myself, cuz it teaches me to change.

A couple of days ago, I logged onto my StumbledUpon, it's been ages I've not logged in. And I changed my profile details and found out this - Personality - ENTJ, ENTP, ESFJ, etc. And I wonder, "what's that?" So I searched the web and found out this. So I took the quiz and I got this.

ENTP
Inventor — "Each New Thought Propels"
Typically good-natured, upbeat and laid-back, ENTPs can be delightful people to be around. They get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction from interacting with others, and especially enjoy discussing and debating theories and concepts which interest them. They may be prone to initiate arguments because they so enjoy the debate. They are generally fun-loving and gregarious, and can be quite charming. They have a problem with sometimes neglecting their close relationships when they become involved in the pursuit of a new idea or plan.
ENTP Strengths
Enthusiastic, upbeat, and popular
Can be very charming
Excellent communication skills
Extremely interested in self-improvement and growth in their relationships
Laid-back and flexible, usually easy to get along with
Big idea-people, always working on a grand scheme or idea
Usually good at making money, although not so good at managing it
Take their commitments and relationships very seriously
Able to move on with their lives after leaving a relationship

I'm ENTP. And you? Go try it out and know yourself, k?

Alright then, thanks for reading. I'ma ciao now.

p.s. This post is not intended to hurt anyone or particular person. I'm just saying what I feel like saying. No grudges, so no offence, k? Peace :)

BTW, not to forget, please support sun bears conservation k! Thanks!

Oh and, I just got an e-mail reply from a shelter home. So if you could spend some time, please help yourself to read, and......... do what you can do best :) Thanks again.

Dear Potential Mount Kinabalu Climbers,

Thank you so much for your enquiries regarding the Mount Kinabalu Climb that we are organizing in aid for the less fortunate children under our care. We have 3 homes comprising of 45 children and 5 refugee schools comnprising of 350 Myanmar refugee school going children. We provide not only education but also food, medical and dental health care for all of them. It is a wide spectrum but we have managed all along with good folks like you backing us up.

As mentioned, we are organizing a Climb of Hope to Mount Kinabalu with the purpose of raising funds to run the operations of caring for the unfortunate. We are seeking your assistance to participate in this event by being a climber or being a donor to help us financially through your generous giving. Shelter is now 30 years in existence and throughout all these years, we have been working very hard towards upholding the rights of children who are abused, abandoned and/or neglected. Our homes and schools serve basically as a safe place for protection rather than just a home for children.

We are also looking for co -sponsors for this event, which will be publicise in all the leading news medias, TV networks, newsletters, banners and bulletins. We are thinking of asking you to share with us in co-sponsoring this event so that your company's name will be highlighted and mentioned in this Corporate Social Responsibility programme.

Thank You

Edwin Jalleh
Public Relations and Admin Executive for Shelter Home

First things first: How You Can Help Save the Sun Bears

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 06:21:00 +0000

Excerpt from Wong Siew Te:

YOU CAN HELP SAVE THE SUN BEARS!
There are several ways to help: Donate funds. All conservation projects require funding to conduct their conservation programs. You can support and donate funds to the Bornean Sun Bear Censervation Centre. For more information about the centre, visit www.leapspiral.org/new/content/project07.html or www.sunbears.wildlifedirect.org.

Spread the word:
- Join the Facebook cause by going to www.apps.facebook.com/causes and typing in ‘Bornean Sun Bear Conservation Centre’ in the search box.
- Follow us on Twitter (@BSBCC_SunBear)
- Help us spread the word about BSBCC
- Become a volunteer (E-mail wongsiew@hotmail.com for more information)

Do not support the sale or trade of sun bear body parts. The sun bear is listed as a protected species in all countries where they are found. It is unlawful to sell, trade, kill, or eat sun bear body parts, and to keep sun bears as pets. Report to the authorities when any of these unlawful activities are encountered.

Refuse to purchase products made from tropical hardwood, or purchase only certified timber products that were harvested sustainably. Sun bears are forest dependent species. They rely on the tropical forest for their survival, but these forests have been harvested to meet the demand for the tropical timber market.

purchase only palm oil products labeled RSOP to reduce impacts on wildlife and environment. Over the last 20 years, much of the tropical rainforest in Malaysia and Indonesia has been converted to monoculture oil palm plantations to meet the ever-increasing oil demand from the world. The impact of this land conversion is great and irreversible. A Roundtable on Sustainable Palm Oil (RSOP) initiative has been created to produce sustainable palm oil.

Help us promote sun bear conservation and spread awareness of their plight. Learn more about sun bears at http://sunbears.wildlifedirect.org/, http://wongsiewte.blogspot.com/ and tell your friends about them.

HELP THE SUN BEARS :)

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 03:35:00 +0000

I am just starting to be a part of those who wants to help the Malayan/Bornean Sun Bears. Sun Bears are the least known among all bears. They are arboreal, and with the fast decline of forests, they really deserve the world's attention but as of now, little attention is given.

I would like to make a difference for them. I want to help them. I first knew of their existence during my visit to Lok Kawi Zoo in 2007. I get to touch and get close with a juvenile sun bear during my visit to Deerland, Lanchang, Pahang on March 19, 2011.

Just so you know, I'm currently taking a degree on Applied Science in Natural Resources, in Universiti Malaysia of Kelantan. And protecting wildlife (and of course the whole ecological world) is one of the components in my study. And as for now, I've chosen to start my endeavour in helping the Malayan sun bears. I also think that it is my obligation, as a student of Natural Resources, to apply what I've learn in class into the real practical world :) After all, that's what studies are for.

On one of the days in March 2011, I stumbled upon a website and am surprised to know that so little is known of these adorable creatures!

I've sent my application to volunteer in assisting the Bornean Sun Bear Conservation Centre (BSBCC) in Sandakan. BSBCC is just next to Sepilok Orang Utan Santuary.

So, brothers and sisters, friends and family, boys and girls, dudes and dolls, ladies and gentlemen, dukes and dutchess, Kings and Queens, JOIN ME as I venture into this whole new world of conservation and volunteering. Lend a helping hand in any ways you can. SUPPORT US. I will be transforming my blog into blog-for-a-cause (sun bears conservation), but then again, I might be setting up a new blog. Anyway, I'll let you know from time to time.

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated” - Mahatma Gandhi

By Wong Siew Te:
Unlike tiger, panda, rhinos where every known about, sun bear is the least known bears in the world and one of the neglected large mammals in Southeast Asia. The lack of knowledge about the species and their plights among the public is a big obstacle for the conservation efforts to save sun bears. Everyone can help us to raise awareness of the sun bears simply by spreading the words about our cause and the sun bears. Internet has become an important tool to communicate with friends across the world.

Joining our facebook cause http://www.causes.com/causes/95651) and repost our blogs http://sunbears.wildlifedirect.org/), could help us get the message out for sure.

The last thing about how other people can help us is what I always telling people on how they can help us: “do what you do best to help us!” If you are a writer, you can help us write about sun bears and our work; If you are a film maker, help us produce a film about the sun bears; if you are a scholar, help us conduct studies on sun bears, etc. In short, do what you do best!

You can also write to him at wongsiew@hotmail.com

Last words, HELP THESE SUN BEARS in any ways that you can :)

Hi there!

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 15:31:00 +0000

29 minutes before Easter ends! Gotta blog quickly. Hey wait, Easter is a one-week celebration, so no rush :)

Why do I talk about Easter? Well, I wasn't going to talk about Easter when I was intending to write this post. I was just going to say I've updated my WHOLE blog, and it's all clean and simple, and I love it this way :) I've only The Blog List left to settle, but the lazy bones got me, so I had to give in and stop updating. Even my eyes are telling me to go to bed! I've been very tired after staying awake for 26 hours!

Alright, about the Easter, Easter is about regeneration, Christ has risen from the death so it's also like a new breath of life, a new year, and so A NEW LOOK for my blog. There you go! Need I explain more? Nah, I guess that's enough. Oh, I think this is necessary. Notice that new banner of mine? Yea, I know it looks messy, well that's what this blog is about! Join me on this voyage and get to know me. Although this blog is kind of personal, I don't really publicize this blog, but feel free to read anyway, I don't mind. Blog is just where I share my thoughts when I have no one to talk to.

I really have got nothing to say, well I have something to say earlier this afternoon but I'm just too exhausted now I really need to tuck into bed. Sorry I can't think of nice words to make up nice sentences like I normally do. My mind just isn't working very well at the moment. *yawn*

So, ciao! Gute nacht! Which means Good Night in German.

p.s. i am not always strong.

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 17:15:00 +0000

Hello there! Taking a break from studying German. Had MPP & Secretariat meeting at 9pm followed by supper with Sal & Jai at Cafe just now.

The meeting was about proposing a parliament style student body. But we do it in "Dewan" style.. Like Dewan Undangan, Dewan Rakyat and such. I'm no good in politics so I was a little "yawny" during the meeting.. And what astonished me was someone suggested me to be the Timbalan Pengerusi (Deputy President) in the Dewan; and I was like, major "NO!". The reason why the person chose me was because "I can listen and understand and interpret the situation". Hmm, I admit that but I'm not entirely good at that and plus, I'm still searching for the right thing for me and I was still unclear of myself so I did not want to get involved in too many things when I barely can take control of myself. When asked of the reasons, I couldn't give a solid reason that could support my resentment and I simply blurted the fact that they say they want the DP to be of students and not MPP, which they said earlier on. And given the fact that I'm the head bureau of my bureau, I need to voice out, I can't stay silent (the President, DP, Secreatary, Asst. Secretary are not involved in rebutting and giving opinions during the meeting). Fortunately, thank God, I'm safe from the nomination! :D

I went for Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) two days ago (Friday). It was much like counselling than confession, lol! As I go into the confession room, I was nervous that I could not come clean, knowing that the Father is one whom we know and interact a lot. There were two other priests doing confession but the two lines are like snake-long so I decided to go to our parish priest. Compared to my parish priest back home, I barely talk to him, probably because it's a larger community there and I couldn't blend in well there. And provided that I always go for outside priests that my parish priests, so it was quite less intense. In Kota Bharu, the church community is small and we parishioners know each other well. And the Father, Sisters are really connected with us directly.

So when I was in the confession room, as I make the sign of the cross and Father blesses me, I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and let the Holy Spirit fill me and I just say what things that burden me the most. I could feel my eyes were salty at one point of time but luckily I didn't burst out. As Father gives his advice, I slowly open my eyes and look him in the eyes. With his kind and gentle loving smile, and his reassuring words of comfort:

"I don't know you well, but I know you're a fully capable person. There's nothing wrong if you don't come to church often. Remember the primary objective of you coming here is to STUDY. But, always remember to communicate with God. I know you're very efficient and capable. And you speak very well. And that is why people chose you. Being a leader, people will throw a lot of hopes and responsibilities on you. But that's because they know you are efficient and capable and they put their trusts on you. You will be a great person one day, maybe you will not see it today, but in the future, you will see the fruits of your rough roads. The reason why you're feeling down, depressed is because you're OVER-STRESSED. You have to find a way to de-stress. Find things you enjoy doing, there must be something. And don't forget to pray and ask for God's help."

That was roughly what Father said to me... It was really assuring but it somehow doesn't stay long in my mind. But I'm trying my best to reassure myself.

Yesterday morning, we have a video sharing. Grace played some videos and asked us to sit individually in the church and to reflect on the videos. Hmm, I was having hard time to implant the messages into my heart, mind and soul. And I don't know why. It's as if my heart has turned into a stone heart. But no worries, I'll make sure I get hold of myself and hang on till the end. I know I can do it, I just need to find other approaches. :)

Alright, I think I talked too much and I'm not even sure if what I wrote would make sense. Heh...

Ciao!

p.s. i am not always strong.

A westerner's soul.

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 05:39:00 +0000

I wanna marry a Westerner!!! I wanna live in 4-seasoned place! I wanna have candle lights everywhere at home with snow falling down on Christmas eve! I want Christmas songs to be heard in the air everywhere. Haha.

I was listening to Angels We Have Heard On High melody by Molly Pauken and Rob Brumfiel. The guitar sound... It's really nice and I want my future partner to play me songs with guitar every night!

I'm studying Philosophy but I couldn't concentrate. Probably cuz there's so much things yet to be settled! Two more assignments! Ahhh! And some MPP stuffs.... God this is killing me! I feel like resigning! But what will people perceive of me? Haihhhhhhhhh! I shouldn't have taken this road earlier now that I'm regretting. What to do what to do.......?

OK lah. Going to have a meeting with our dean about company later on at 2.30pm. Ciao!

simply me talking again.

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 05:23:00 +0000

It's a windy Thursday today. I kind of enjoyed my time up to now. Hopefully I'll enjoy till the rest of the day. I skipped class this morning. I slept at 4am and set my alarm at 6am. I did hear my alarm but I did not bother. At 7.45am, my room mate woke me up and say "Class". I was like, "OMG! 7.45? My assignment!". Haha I worry bout my assignment instead of waking up late for class. Lol. I just automatically went straight to my desk and turn on my laptop.

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. Finally, I get to go to church, after nearly a month of not going! What I realised in church was how bad I've become recently. How much I whined, complained, say bad stuffs all these while. I mean, I was so optimistic before (specifically before mid sem break), but I've changed and became a pessimist. Well, not a hardcore pessimist, but pessimist enough to let me through hell. And I finally figured out, what I've been missing. I've been missing the link with God. I could hardly attend mass due to field trips, activities, etc. I could hardly have daily conversation with God cuz my time is just TOO OCCUPIED.

No worries, there's always these moments in life. And it's our duty to make a turning point to that. It's a challenge, at the same time, a blessing. Last night, I accidentally used religion as an example in an argument with my fellow MPPs. Maybe there are some people who will think I'm absurd - why suddenly involve religion. But I think, people have been seeing things away from religion that they are blinded of how religion actually helps in solving something. There are many types of religions in this world. And of course, you have to know your religion more, but what harm does it cause you to know bout others'? Problem statement: No understanding of inter-racial religions which leads to poor unity. Let's get back to basic. If you know each other, there'll be ENOUGH PEACE for everyone cuz everything is not overlooked, everything is taken into consideration. Alright, I shall stop here now before I continue on with my philosophy.

Now, there's an argument about which has the most priority in life. An active student, will hold many responsibilities. When some meetings happen at the same time? Which one do you go? For me, it's not about what club or what organisation that determines which should receive the most priority. For me, it depends on the content of the meeting, the urgency, and not just the title of the club or organisation itself. Say, you're a representative of a student body and of course, in the eyes of people, student body is a GRAND organisation, but that doesn't mean it bears the most priority. What's important is how you see it and not how it determines you.

I am not going to give up my stance. I will stick to what I believe good for me and the surrounding. We are all adults and we have our own thinking. I don't mind to have arguments because I feel it's a way of learning too. In arguments, you learn to defend your points, learn to know other's points, reflect on your weakness, and finally obtain the fruitful insights.

Alright, I think I'ma have some catnap now... Bye! Good day!

The Search in Life.

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 09:04:00 +0000

"How was your sleep?"
"Okay."
"Why didn't you come yesterday? They learn about evolution, things that are not taught in lecture."
"Oh really?"

"So Marieanne, tell me, what have you learnt throughout these days?"
"I don't like the fact that we had to kill them"
"You're a science student you have to do."
"No I can't."
"Then what are you going to do for your thesis?"
"I don't know. Anything but this."
"Susahlah itu macam. Mo cari kerja pun susah."

Moments later, Ean asked me if i wanna dissect the frog and i said no but my lecturer asked me to try and i decided to try. Then Ean held a Mengkarung and asked me to hold it. I tried holding its body but i can't and my lecturer asked him not to force me cuz he knows the feeling cuz he's afraid of reptiles too. But he finally tried to hold it and he did it and taught me to hold it too. And few others were asked to try too.

I contemplate, what have I learned? Besides goin up and down the hills, setting up traps, ID samples, etc. What have I actually learnt? Is it wildlife researches equal animal cruelty? Is it to let go off part of the humane conscience? Is it how to deal with people? Or how to practise contextual adaptation?

There were two discussion: soulmate and responsibility of an SRC, with lab assistant and my lecturer respectively. I gained some insights and answers to some doubts and confusion.

"blurry vision, clear connection" - this is what i see on wednesday while waiting for bus to arrive. I forgot to wear my spectacles and so I had a rather blurry vision but amidst that, I could see clear connection of the doubts I've been having.

Selfless

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 14:32:00 +0000
I am no longer in authority of myself. I am now lying on chair while the others identifying bats and rearrange the specimen's blood sample. I am not dong anything cuz there's nothing for me to do. I don't find this trip very interesting. Rather, it is more to discovering or proving whether or not wildlife is really my field. And what I can conclude, I don't fit in this field. I dislike animals being killed for experiment. Yes it is necessary; it might be okay for others but not me. I tried holding them and secure their mouth. I tried taking blood from their hearts which they eventually will die. I don't like what I did. I don't like. I dislike fleas. I have weal immune systm lately compared to the healthy me just 6 months ago. I've detest the water in my hostel cuz that's what weakening my immune system. I hate it.

But this is life. And I feel so restless.

a metamorphosis, i could say

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 22:40:00 +0000

Good morning!

This will be a short and quick update from me!
First and foremost, I would like to thank all my voters who voted for me for the Student Representative Council (Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar, MPP in Baha
sa). I was seriously stunned and speechless. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with the result but "Congratulations" means "Responsibility". I'm holding the responsibility to walk the talk! I'm so nervous about achieving my manifesto. But, I will try my best!

It will be very different from now on, now that I'm the public university figure. Some things are restricted as you carry the image of your university; even the way you carve your smile counts, and your dress code; and of course, your thinking. I wonder if I can take these all, I wonder if I'll miss my then life. I wonder how am I to cope with sacrificing my weekends?

Oh well, I worry too much right? Let's just think of the moment and deliver the best quality.

This is my manifesto I used for electronic-campaigning.

don't tell me you don't

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 13:54:00 +0000
Hehe I'm wandering away from my research work again... I'm researching about laws actually, conservation and wildlife protection laws to be exact. Who says only the Law students study laws? You tell me.

I have a really fulfilling and satisfying feeling that it is this feeling that I think, keeping me on the move. Things might not go smoothly but somehow, I think I'm beginning to tolerate in a different way. It's a really significant transition that I could really feel it!

Like this morning, I encountered a situation where if I go with my usual self and temperance, I would just give back the shit. But today, I took back and proceeded with professional handling. It's annoying people do not respect you and asking you stuffs like, demandingly. I mean like, WTF? You're not the boss of me and I'm not the boss of you. So why don't you just shed that ego off unless of course you need that because you're too self-conscious and lack confidence? Ha! Sorry bitch! Ooops, there I go again, but hey at least I'm not doing this in front of the person or at that particular moment. This is some kind of "post-mortem" to me, reviewing how's my day progressed. So don't act like you're an angel or something, you do do the same thing at some point of your life, no?

But still, I'm glad that I actually realize the transition occurring in me. Alright, that's it for today! Gotta continue with my research! Oh, there's one more thing! My lecturer (teaching us Wildlife Management and Park & Protected Area Management) felt weird why I did not voice out my POV or opinions or answers and such! Lol! He asked, "Eh Marieanne, how come you're so quiet today? Usually you yang banyak cakap... But today you're so quiet. So, what's your idea?" I was playing chinese chess on my phone actually. And the reason why I was not active as usual was because he said we often give him random "guess". I mean, he said we are not confident of our own answers, we often try to answer but that is not what he wants. He wants a definite and rational and genuine and critical idea. So, that is why I didn't say much cuz first, I wasn't feeling comfortable with the place which made me lose concentration on what's he's teaching. Second, maybe I was just plain lazy. But after he asked me, then I became active as I was again! :) Is it really weird if you're not being who or what you're supposed to be (your usual self)? Lol!

Happy Valentine's Day people! <3

things unseen.

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 17:17:00 +0000

I have just finished packing. Well, not completely. Just some toiletries and shoes left. Finally, after a rather convincing talk with a friend, I decided to go for the pre-election camp for SRC candidates.

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep, six feet under scream, but no one seems to hear a thing?"
Katy Perry Fireworks

The feeling is not yet gone. I wonder why it's so hard for me to snap out of this shit, and I don't even know how this came about. I feel like my soul had been sucked out. And I still wonder why, and still searching for the answer. Why such sudden? What am I thinking actually? Why have I mis-focused? There's no peace and synchronization of mind and soul. The mind tells the heart what to feel, not otherwise. This is not the way it is. How can I get myself back??

from my perspectives

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 04:33:00 +0000
Whoa! Hadn't blog for a long time! But first thing's first! Happy CNY 2011!!

Had a great one-week hols with family last week! I can't believe I miss those days the minute I looked at the Kelantan land through the rectangle window of my flight. It was funny how I thought I was on a flight to Labuan. Reality check, No the flight I'm in is going to Kelantan unfortunately.

I have no idea why I feel so melancholic suddenly. Is this normal? After having such great time? Coming back here, I can't stop thinking of the things that are yet to be done. And one more, the SRC - student representative council. Kinda regret applying for it. I wasn't interested at first but on second third fourth hundredth thoughts, I finally gave it a try. I have to attend a pre-SRC camp in Setiu (i've been to that place twice!) this Thursday. I really feel like quiting now. The election is next week if I'm not mistaken. I don't even know anything about doing and giving manifestos. And I thought I've left behind these lives? I just wanna live my life peacefully and be a free person. But thinking of CV, SRC might help a lot but as the chinese saying goes, "xian ku hou tian" which means "sorrow comes before sweet". you only taste the sweetness of life after a wild roller coaster ride.

I am still not ready for class and that is why I took the risk of playing truant. I'm sorry dear lecturers. But what's the point going for lecture if the soul just isn't there? It might only break the lecturer's heart to see students are not paying attention. And students, on the other hand, don't benefit anything from attending lecture with lost soul. At least staying at home, oops in the room, we get to relax and thinking critically on the situation. Well of course, a day or two is okay. Just don't exaggerate not going to class for 3 days or more. Haha although I remembered I only attended few lectures when I was in Matrix. I was such a bad student back then! That's the advantage of having so many students in one lecture hall! But, of course I'm not like those who doesn't care about studies. I do, it's just that I do it in a different way :)

Oh well, I'm doing German homeworks now but suddenly thought of blogging... I did a banner for eco-friendly week halfway yesterday when I realised I didn't know the size of banner. So it's stuck half-way. Chatted with lots of friends last night, catching up and asking for advices. However, in the end, it's all up to me to decide.

Alright that's it! Blessed Sunday everyone! Gonna continue savouring my chocolate Mum bought from Labuan! =)

哎哟

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 16:28:00 +0000

The taste of freedom and a whole new world

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 10:28:00 +0000
What does my title mean?

After having festive hols for 4 days, today marks the beginning of the first class of 2011. And......... it turns out.... okay... uhmm I woke up early this morning so I can get my full shower (shampoo my hair) since there weren't enough water last night. However, it was disappointing to see the crisis ISN'T OVER YET!!! So, I went back to my room to continue finishing my Wildlife Management report. I have German class at 9am and I plan to get my shower at 8am, hoping there'll be lesser people in the toilet! Okay, at least I get to shampoo my hair this time. Quickly get ready for German, turns out, NO CLASS for today. So, Tini and I went to have breakfast @ Spicy.

Back room, continue with report and finally printed it out. 1pm Wildlife Management class - Journal presentation. Everyone improved! I especially like listening to Fert, I believe he applies his debate skills in his presentation, including last week's!

Okay, the main point! The taste of freedom? A whole new world?

I'm starting to feel my college life is reaching to my heart's desire of HOW I want my college (or uni) life to be! I've mentioned it before right? This semester, I vowed to myself not to hold any position or get involved in the event organisation team, I just wanna be a participant. But, unfortunately I am still stuck with that Sponsor thingy! UGHHH!!! AND IT'S A LAST MINUTE ONE! My vermicompost is another thing, but that's a commitment so I can't run away from it.

I see my friends and juniors walking in and out of campus, at every hour... Making phone calls, texting others, meetings, etc.... And I feel like, WOW, I'M AT PEACE!!! No more such activities in my life, finally! I mean, I think I've had enough of involving myself in these kind of activities in uni. I wanna explore the other side of the world. And guess what! I AM!!! I'm the project manager for the church's youth trip!

Therefore, it's not that I totally give up in extra curricular activities, it's just that I'm doing it in a different place and a different dimension (world), with a different crew! And I feel like it's a destiny cuz I'm really into ecotourism and provided with the fact I'm going to have my internship next year, I think it's really a bonus for me to learn beforehand a little bit about tourism cuz I don't want to have intern in an office, I want outdoor! I've been a project manager for our class' eco trip, but the experience was not enough and I wish to gain more!

So, the freedom? Free from university activities. The new world: Church youths.

Another thing is that, I have a whole new image this semester (I wouldn't say this year cuz I might change my image again the next semester, LOL!).

Age is not a serious problem

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 01:48:00 +0000
It's 14 more hours before I turn 20 this year!

Honestly, I don't feel that age is something to worry about anymore. I am highly anticipating of me turning 20! Cuz when you get older, you can do lots of things on your own, and you get trust and respect as well. And for the fact that you can do anything you want, I take this opportunity to do all the things I want to my best and just enjoy life before it ends.

So people, whine not about increasing age, but rejoice in the potentials you have as you age! haha!

Noticed that I hardly ever blog these few weeks? Haha well that's because I'm lazy, and plus the WiFi at my place isn't cooperating with me so that makes me online a little lesser. Though I am online 24-7 on my iPhone. haha!

Aite, that's it for an update. My friends actually complained that my blogs are too long so I'll keep my posts short before I change the layout of my blog that could make my posts look a little shorter (means expanding the post width layout!)!

Ciao!

stop the melodrama

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 00:55:00 +0000
Wokie it's Thursday morning, which makes it a week to go for me to step on KK land again! I'm both excited and sad for it, but well I'm not gonna yammer bout it again. It's a typical phase to go through and I'm sure you guys are sick of hearing or even seeing the likes of it now, right? You see your Facebook status updates of your friends: most of them are grizzling bout holidays ending soon (including me, haha!), not wanting to go back campus, etc. Some kind of melodrama eh?

I just sent Mum to work just now, not to her actual workplace. These two days (Thursday & Friday), she'll be doing stock-checking at the Labuan Hospital. FYI, she works in the state's Health Department, and as usual, stock-checking at the end of the year perhaps? So, I drove a different route. And I actually like that road compared to the Kinabenuwa road. I like it because it's full of greenery scenes and the air is fresher (Kinabenuwa has fresh air too, but couldn't beat the freshness of this other road offers). And given the fact that it was drizzling, I did not turn on the aircon, I opened the window instead. Now imagine, how wonderful the gift of nature is!

Okay, what I'm excited about going KK next Thursday is, I'm gonna get my iPhone4!!! I called Digi center in 1Borneo yesterday asking about the stocks of iPhone4 both 16gb and 32gb, and both are available. I asked her, is it still available if I come next Thursday? And she said, it's first come first serve. So I'm really hoping I'm in time to get one! Actually I'm afraid if I make the wrong decision to buy an iPhone, instead of other phones like N8 or HTC Desire... I read a lot reviews and I had numerous second-thoughts. I even think of buying an iPad since it's so much lighter than my laptop so I could easily bring it around with me anywhere I go, especially campus. I'm lazy to go back to my third-floor room (that is, if I still stay in the same room for next semester), because when I do, I know I won't be doing my works! The hassle about bring my current laptop is that it's heavy! Haha well of course I have this thought of any of my uncles or aunts would ask me what I would like for reward? Lol! And I'll definitely answer, "an iPad!" Lol! I want a dSLR actually... But, I've made a deal with my Mum that she'll get me one only when I get a 4.0! That's pretty hard to achieve but I'll try my best!

I just signed up for a Plurk account. Add me up if you want, just click here.
I'm thinking of baking pancakes but I don't know how... baking powder, bicarbonate soda, milk, etc.... so I guess I'll be doing my Ma-ri-an's own recipe of pancakes! Haha!

Okay lah, I don't know what else to say. I had lots to say but the ideas seem to flown away somewhere. Bye for now! Good day!

satisfaction.

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 01:40:00 +0000
Dead silence eh? Ahah. I was lazy to blog the past few days cuz there were so much to talk about but I'm just darn lazy to put into words. And also pictures.

Alright, let's review. I came back on the 16th of November. So that's the first week where I spent time playing guitar, sleep, and watching Korean drama.

The second week, still continue watching few last episodes of that Korean drama, get my hair permed on Wednesday and went to KK on Thursday. We went by car with our cousin. The next day, we went surveying for tombstone for our late granny, oh before that we went to Donggongon's Tamu. Alright we went Karamunsing for brunch, and bro was calling me asking Mum to go over the Optic shop cuz he was out of cash to buy his contact lens. Then, I asked for eye check, for the second time (the first time was in Kelantan, but there's still no need for me to wear specs); but now I have to!!! :( I don't actually know I had blurry vision, I just assume I have impaired vision because of the first eye check but I thought I was seeing things clearly?? Lol, little did I know the edges of all the things I see were blurry! And I just realised that when I wear that Einstein-like glasses! Goshhhh!!! And the colors are bright too! How sad... all this while I've been looking at dull colors.......... Haha... Alright then, after sending our aunt to work, we headed to 1Borneo. Hmmmm I really spent a lot................................... Then, oh, night out with cuzzies! Bob, Beb, Bro, and Jessel. Oh, and Beb's friend from Kuching. We went to Yoyo. Too bad, the ice-cream that I used to eat is no longer that tasty. Or maybe because it's late (it's closing in an hour's time), just like the last time I went with my friends and seniors. Should I say it's disappointing? We'll see when I'm back to KK next week then!

2010 is really a year of "cash-out". Sigh. Hope 2011 will be "cash-in".

Alright, the next day, we went for our second cousin's wedding reception. It was a rainy day and hell it was kinda tough to walk up the hill with my cousin-in-law pregnant, and is due 28th December! Well, I hope the baby will be born on the 29th so we can share the same birthDAY! =) At night, our uncle invited over to his house for dinner. It's only few steps away. I drank a whole tin of Tiger beer! This is a record! I never manage to drink the whole tin! And we watched some Kadazan-Dusun-Murut sketches. Funny! Then, the next day again, I went to Gaya street with my two aunts and mom. We had breakfast at this one kopitiam near Gaya street, I forgot what's it called. And there's this Kuching tourists asking me what egg was I holding. Lol! It's goose egg. Then we headed to Suria for movie marathon! We didn't get to watch Harry Potter the night before cuz everyone's tired and 'drunk'. Haha! We first watched Rapunzel in 3D, then Harry Potter. Then we had dinner at Lee Garden in Grace Point near Sembulan. I didn't know there's Lee Garden there too, Labuan has one, in airport.

Then on Monday, I drove my aunt's car to Menumbok!!! Well, I didn't get to reach Menumbok cuz the car broke down halfway. So we had to board on uncle's Avanza. So we sent the car to the nearest workshop... There was one, but it's only for special cases workshop. But the owner called his friend to tow the car. So we headed back to the car to wait for the tow truck. On our way, I received a text from my classmate, Sri, asking me is it true that result is out? And I said, "Really? I don't know!" Then I texted Mooi, and called Tini. My aunt lend me her Blackberry to go online but the line suck. I couldn't wait, and I didn't want Tini to know my result.... So I called my Bro, ask him to check for me but he said he wants to sleep. Then I called my friend Jennifer in Labuan if she can go online now but she was hanging out with her friends. Then, no choice. I had to call Mooi. I don't know why, but I don't feel any pressure with him. So yea I asked him to check for me. And GAWD I WAS SO SO SO ELATED! hahaahaha! Everyone in car was happy for me. And I told my Mum, I'm in Dean's list. OH YES! NEW HANDPHONE!! I want iPhone4!!!!!! BAHAHAHAAHHAAH!!!! My aunt suggested my mum to buy in KK. Oh well, she still need to get to KK to get Digi's iPhone4, cuz only Maxis provide iPhone4 in Labuan.

But, I don't know if Mum has a clue about the how much the iPhone costs! Lol! If I tell her it's around 2.3k, and there's 12 or 24 months contract, with the cheapest plan of RM58/month (after auto billing), will she buy for me? HAHA! But, I always console myself that Mum will buy. I remembered Mum said if I get straight A's for my SPM, she'll buy for me any phone I want even how expensive it is! LOL! I didn't get straight A for my SPM though... Haha, but this time I told her if I get into Dean's list then she has to buy a new phone for me and that new phone is an iPhone! Am I materialistic? Nah, I'm just making my life easier. Lol! Still, I was worried so I asked my uncle what he thinks about it? Will my Mom buy for me? Then my uncle said, "she will. She told me the other day, saying that she's gonna buy you an iPhone." Then I said, "but does she know the price? It's expensive..." Then my uncle said, "If she said so, she will, even how expensive it'll be." WOW THAT WAS GREAT. But, certainty is not certain if it's still under uncertainty! Lol, what am I saying? I just wish right now that those Digi outlets in KK will have enough stock of iPhones so I don't have to wait.....................................

Alright, my relatives were here until yesterday. And yesterday, I went to apply for an international passport. With no original birth cert, I embrace myself to the Immigration Department and asked what documents should I need. They asked me to get a duplicate of my birth cert from National Registration Department. This is what I like most about Financial Park! It's an all-in-one complex! Makes life easier! So after this and that, I finally get my passport done! Haha! That was truly an experience and I like the fact that I'm handling all these like I'm really an adult! WooHoo!

Bro was supposed to get his passport first but I guess he was too lazy to run through all the legal stuffs, it's actually easy to get everything done. Or maybe I was so sweet that the NRD staff just couldn't help but try his best to satisfy my needs! Haha! And of course, with a whole lot of faith and prayer! I was praying the whole time, hoping God will grant my wishes and prayers! Anyway, Mum's gonna get hers either this month or next. And she really is planning to go Philipines! Aww! But her ultimate dream is to have the Euro trip and pilgrimage to Rome.

I invited her to climb the Mt. Kinabalu and I teased her she's a Sabahan but she never climb the mighty Mt. Kinabalu... Haha. Then she said, "To climb Mt. Kinabalu is not my dream. My dream is to have a Euro trip and get a bulldog and name it Raul" Lol! I can't wait for Euro trip as wellllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!

All in all, 2010 has been the best year ever! I wish to say more but I'm afraid I'll just have to save it till the next post! I'm getting bored of blogging by now... Gonna continue watching my drama! Ciao!

p.s. Please pray for me I'll get my iPhone4 before going back Kelantan!!!!!!!!!!! =D Thanks!

mares that ....... oh nevermind.

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 14:04:00 +0000
Okay here's what! A WHIRLWIND IN MY BEDROOM??? JUST RIGHT NEXT TO ME ON MY BED WHEN I WAS SLEEPING??? FUCKKK THIS IS GETTING WAY TO FAR!!!! YOU GOT MY HEART RACED IN A WHIRL-LIKE ABYSS!!!!!!! GASPING FOR AIR TO BREATHE.

I wanted so much to get up but I just can't, I can feel like I'm watching the whirlwind right in front of me even with my eyes closed. When I finally do snap out from that dream, and fall right into sleep again, another dream came up! A not-so-nice dream, and again, when I was awoken by that dream, and fell back into sleep again, another dream came up again, and the cycle just continue until I finally really wake up and get my shower! It's been going on and on from night till the morning sun! And I don't know when it started.. Few days ago I guess when I had this crazy dream about not being able to take my Biometry paper. I was 30 minutes late and I didn't bring my exam slip, but I had it in mind that I'm having the exam in DK4, but when I went there, it's not my class. I was nervous. And kept searching around. I don't even know why I looked for my matrix lecturers asking where's my exam hall. The atmosphere was intense I feel like waking up but I can't cuz I still wanna take my Biometry paperrrrr!!! In the end, I didn't get to take it anyway. GEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Is it hinting me that I'm gonna flunk my Biometry???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, I had a food spree with Mum yesterday............ But why do I feel like the taste isn't the taste it used to taste anymore???? Hmmmmm.

And, I think I'm having depression I don't know why but I just think I do. I'm becoming quiet all of a sudden and am not having that much interests in things I like doing and I don't even have the mood to do what I'm supposed to do. But I'm glad that I've done two things in my to-do-list for this hols.
1. Played a full song with guitar
2. Permed my hair

One thing that I did that's not in my to-do-list was watching Korean drama. I'm not an addict nor am I obsessed with Korean artists and all. But I'm quite surprised that I actually realized something about life or about me. And I think that is why I'm feeling a little depressed. Trying to figure out the right things in life.

I'm at my kampung now. I followed my cousin by car to from Labuan to Sabah mainland, Menumbok, and then to Penampang. He's going to have his big day this Saturday. Oh and, the moment the car reaches its wheels on Sabah mainland somehow excites the little heart beating inside me. After feeling all miserable because of the night and day mares marathon!

What is happening?

I keep consoling myself but this time I couldn't find anything. I do think about this one quote my senior wrote "When you are sincere, nothing will get on your way." Well, I actually said that during the presentation of my Mt. Kinabalu experience. All my way down from the mountain (from KM4 actually), I kept telling myself that nothings gonna happen to me as long as I'm sincere, since I was alone going down. Now, I can't think of any philosophical thoughts to fight this situation I'm going through. I am not giving up though, I will try my best to search for the best way to tackle all these. =)

I'm wishing myself happy hols! And you too!

p.s. I might be going KL early... Maybe on the 14th. Sad. My cuzzie Jill will be coming back on the 14th. No Cheekies gathering this time :(

get to know a girl at this 'one' time

noreply@blogger.com (mae) — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 05:53:00 +0000

Hey so it's Sunday today. Hmm. I'm supposed to go to church, but......... Mum's not here and I.......... don't feel like going alone.... And plus I slept late so yea I couldn't get up anyway. Was buzzed by Jennifer and Izwan around 10am, inviting me for lunch or satay in the evening. I was like, my head was feeling heavy and my stomach.... when I imagine the buffet style of Dorsett lunch.... I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE EATING ANYMORE. Maybe it's all because of the spaghetti I ate last night! It's like this, I cooked quite a lot spaghetti sauce yesterday but no one wants to eat it SO, I HAD TO FINISH THEM MYSELF! One for lunch, twice for dinner + supper. Like, OMG I just feel like I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF SPAGHETTI!!! It's funny how I craved so much for Spaghetti when I'm in UMK.

Alright, I think I'm in the PMS phase now. Mood imbalance, I can see that. And I have started to snack on Chocolates!!!!!!! I'm going to buy another chocolate later on! Don't you just love being in Labuan? hehe. And, in spite of the hurtful fingertips, I don't feel like playing the guitar now, so yea, the blame goes to PMS. And, there were actually lots of things I wanna do, but I just don't have the mood for it. I tell you what. These two days while Mum's gone, my world has only been my room, bathroom, and the kitchen. I didn't even watch TV or go to the living room! And my room is like, in a mess right now, cuz I haven't unpack all mystuffs, so the two luggages are still on the floor, and all the small stuffs like all the lotions and all those stuffs la, are all on the floor and some are in the small magazine holders which I put on the floor as well. And oh yea! My room smells Dettol! Stupid insects in UMK! You leave so much scars on me!!!!!! URGHH I HATE END OF YEAR IN UMK!

Oh well, anyway, I was actually planning to join Raleigh or WWF for volunteer work but................ I haven't done my resumé!! First, I was distracted by guitar so I didn't get to finish my resumé. Next, PMS! HUH!!! Anyways, when I went out the other day, I saw my ex-neighbor in the Body Shop so I asked her can I work part time? She said can. So all this while, I have been thinking, should I work part time this hols? How bout the volunteer work? As I contemplate further, I thought, volunteer work would be more fun in a long period of time instead of just for a week or so. So okay we'll see how then!

Okay, I'm going off for Satay at Layangan Beach later at 3pm. Anyone wanna join? Haha. Jenn's gonna fetch me. I'm too lazy to drive and bro's using the car anyway. So.......... Let's be passenger this time! (I have always been the passenger when going out with them!) HAHA! Oh I feel so young! I mean, since I'm the youngest (born in December), so it's like I feel like they're my brothers and sisters and I can just be as childish as I want!!! =D =D =D Compared to me in UMK, hmph! Don't even compare! hahah!!!

Oh, I'm going to KK this Friday for 3 days only. Attend cousin's wedding. Hmmm I wanna shopppppppp!!!!!!!!!! SALE PLEASEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

BTW, I AM STARTING TO SAVE MONEY FOR EURO TRIP! I'll either go there before graduating or after graduating. WE'LL SEE HOW THE MONEY EXPANDSSSS!!!!!!!! But, which is better? Going before graduating or after?

Okay, I need to get ready for the beach now! Ciao!!! =)

Oh, I actually forgotten to upload this one picture I took that day.

Milo made from Australia??? WOW! FYI, Labuan & Aussie are like brothers/sisters you know. Haha! OH MY! YUMMY I FEEL LIKE EATING MILO POWDER!!! WEEEEE =)