Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 74

Wade Kwon — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 05:00:06 +0000

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glorious, glorious snow
The prospect of white
gold promises a day of
hooky and snugness.

belts are tightening
Not enough money
to cover food, gas and bills.
The struggle is real.

the ai-enhanced toaster
Kitchen appliance
brings the promise of AI
to your dumb kitchen.

writers turned performers
Take your very words
and proclaim them to all the
masses and their ilk.

all is calm, all is bright
Sing of the joyous
couple and their unplanned babe
in a foul stable.

post-holiday blues
The family has
left. The tree is dying. The
returns are still left.

the walmart police
He carefully scans
the cart, receipt in hand, on
the lookout for theft.

the stats on listening
How much streaming did
we consume in a full year?
All hail Spotify!

banned words of 2025
Slop, ballroom, tariff,
parasocial, cringe, rawdog,
tradwife, 6-7!

scratch-offs and bottled water
She played card after
card, hoping for a small win
for her investment.

year-end clearance
Twenty twenty-five
can’t hurt us no more because
we’re ditching that bitch.

new year, same you
The calendar is
new, but you’re still the same old
you with more mileage.

holiday hangover
The spending was wild,
the parties were amazing,
the headache is real.

rat on the loose
Tiny, furry one,
why must you visit my home
this dreary winter?

biking buddies
They pedaled along
empty streets, admiring the
urban wonderland.

lovely and lively
She is delightful
and wry, playful and cheerful
and so kissable.

windshield woes
The glass is cracking
up (again). Time to invest
in costly fixes.

splitting down
I squatted, and the
jeans ripped in the butt. Time to
reduce that booty?

benefits of the doubts
She doesn’t think he’s
keeping pace and resorts to
curt accusations.

veganism as a way of life
No animals were
harmed in the making of these
delicious vittles.

language is no longer a barrier
Pointez votre phone
vers ce poème, et voyez
les vers traduits vite.

gone but forgotten
They served food with a
welcoming atmosphere and
still ended up closed.

struggles with attention
Even the simplest
task becomes monumental
and just out of reach.

for those who cannot change
Scorn and ridicule
to the one who expects good
from doing nothing.

chest time
Quality time on
the sofa to settle in
and snuggle away.

the tawdry read
Smut filled the pages
of the paperback novel
leading her astray.

invasion of the arctic air
Temperate weather
goes out the window when a
polar vortex drops.

life has beaten me down
Tired of getting up
in a world indifferent
to menial lives.

rehearsing the speech in your head
Going over it
over and over, trying
not to sound naggy.

civil rights mecca
Visit Birmingham
to see the history up
close and personal.

(at least) three more years of nonsense
Trumponomics is
a disaster designed to
wreck the middle class.

i can’t drive 55
Follow the highway
to discover new vistas,
new destinations.

defending your life
Rationalizing
the choices we’ve made to a
dispassionate judge.

the wonders of the snack cart
Junk foods of all kinds,
from cookies to chocolates
to chips and gummies.

the faces of ai
Confidante, teacher,
companion, advisor, judge,
advocate, writer.

hypocrisy is dead
Winning became more
important than values. It
has become the rule.

they take care of the customer
They don’t make up lame
excuses. They’re more focused
on setting things right.

the old piano
Between 81
and 86 keys still work
but it needs tuning.

oh yeah, it’s an election year
In Alabama,
a stupid football coach will
become governor.

try a little tenderness
In this hellish world,
be kind to one another
and allow for grace.

the new sidewalk
A concrete ribbon
stretches for blocks, inviting
people and pooches.

every accusation is a confession
They chide enemies,
unwittingly revealing
their evil nature.

sex positivity
It’s really fun and
a good way to explore one’s
self or another.

the uncomfortable mirror
Are we living lives
worth emulating? Or are
we coming up short?

guts
It takes guts to be
the gadfly, the truth teller,
the one who stands up.

first time cooking vegan
It’s seems to be more
about shunning foods rather
than embracing them.

berries for months
She freezes her fresh
harvest by the bucketful.
Cornucopia!

here comes the torch
Celebrate the sports
in Milano Cortina
for the Winter Games!

the original home of mardi gras
Driving to Mobile
to dance, drink and celebrate
the rolling good times.

when the bills come due
Each month, we stretch our
paycheck to cover growing
expenses and needs.

getting things done
An intricate way
to manage projects and tasks
in such constant flux.

cheap wine, good wine
For a few dollars,
you can experience a
glass of fine grape juice.

cabin fever
Been cooped up too long
this winter. Ready to burst
onto la nature.

deep intimacy
When the questions probe
into the psyche and the
responses are long.

galentine’s day
Party for women
who lift each other up in
platonic friendships.

a night for romance
Champagne and truffles,
flowers and candy, dinner
and movie, all set.

the ravages of age
Pay no attention
to the wrinkles, the gait or
the snowy white hair.

buffy for beginners
She’ll quip and quip and
quip, but always ready for
a bloody battle.

worldly ways
She had always been
on the go, visiting these
wild destinations.

summers up north, winters down south
Back and forth in search
of warmer temps and cooling
breezes for comfort.

building a life alone
How did I end up
resetting everything and
relying on me?

dad needs a little help
He just had an eye
operation, and struggles
with little to-dos.

well-paid paperweights
We sit bored with no
way to pass the time, watching
the clock ticking down.

a night of jazz
Fans dressed to go to
dinner later, waiting for
the late musicians.

authoritarian blues
This machine murders
fascists, but not nearly fast
enough for my taste.

the value of protest
Finding people who
support the same underdog
cause you’re fighting for.

the alabama solution 2
Prisoners face off
against murderous guards in
horrid conditions.

i prefer the summer
Nothing against sub-
freezing temps and icy roads,
but gimme hot days.

procrastination, the writer’s friend
Almost ready to
write, just need to get coffee
and sharpen pencils.

exploiting ai
Let us rejoice in
slop and thank our 12-fingered
hands for this content.

how to tell you’re in a cult
Everyone tells you
that you’re in a cult, but you
fail to heed their pleas.

the roundabout
Vehicles turn left
till they exit right, a game
of Rushin’ Roulette.

cooking for the week
Up late making food
in advance to nourish us
in the coming days.

getting away from lists
So many things to
do, on our Post-Its, in our
heads, in our Inbox.

half a banana
Heavy on those carbs
before the race, fractioned fruit
during and after.

the meaning of christianity
A list of holy
do’s and don’ts, but open to
interpretation.

whither college?
What good is higher
learning when the professors
can’t keep up with tech?

the thaw
Signs of spring emerge
underneath the melting snow.
Green is the new black.

climate costs
Higher power and
gas bills. Lost time at work. Need
more medical care.

hype, hype and more hype
Entertainers and
athletes shine brightest before
their predestined fall.

elder rap stars
Once, they rocked the mic.
Now, they spread joy and mirth far
across the tame land.

sponsors needed
Put your brand name here
and win the adulation
of dozens of fans.

please please click me
Make the headline vague
enough to make readers real
curious to see.

snack happy hour
Five o’clock strikes, and
it’s time to munch on pretzels
and assorted treats.

a celebration of movies
Hit the theater
to take in a new comic
book flick or romcom.

the value of protests
Finding your tribe can
be the most empowering
action to fight back.

the hidden atm
Why didn’t they tell
me about the one by the
side garage entrance?

how to drive a car into the ground
Take great care of your
beater, and replace any
parts that go kaput.

and the allergy came back
His eyes were burning
something fierce from either smoke,
pollen or dander.

plant away
Let the seeds erupt
into new vegetables and
flowers on raised beds.

you were never cool
But you were always
kind and considerate, a
soul to admire.

cleaning up, cleaning out
The time has arrived
finally to haul off the
junk and make some space.

you can’t make someone do anything
We try all the time.
It doesn’t work. We can hope,
and we can pray hard.

the cellist with the pink hair
Back from a smoke break,
she tunes her instrument while
humming to herself.

compact champagne
For those great little
celebrations of minor
victories and whims.

electric boogaloo
Americans would
rather pump gas and make fumes
than go electric.

mr. show
A fantastical
show where one surreal sketch would
lead to another.

an ode to 24-hour walmart
We roamed the aisles late
at night, unbothered by crowds,
to pick up some stuff.

the guitarist at the stop light
His belongings at
his side, he strummed for the cars
waiting to drive off.

i smile, she smiles
That’s the rule. When I
make a face, she giggles and
lights up with delight.

quarter by quarter
Make the line go up.
Cut the peons from their jobs.
Collect a bonus.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 73

Wade Kwon — Sat, 20 Dec 2025 06:00:06 +0000

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that boy (still) ain’t right
“King of the Hill” picks
up 8 years later in our
beloved Arlen.

picky about the pic
Volunteer photog
tries different angles while
getting us to pose.

swimming lessons
A summer to flail
around in chlorine learning
how to move around.

deny the fly
It buzzes around
the kitchen, setting on a
plate of vittles. Gross!

kim’s convenience
A Canadian
show about a Korean
family hits home.

no more kings 2
America fought
to cleave from an unjust king.
Shall we fight again?

planning to get out of town
Who will be at the
lake house, and how long will they
be there? Oh, I see …

the sober generation
No longer are they
willing to be swilling booze.
Let’s save the liver.

the new conservative male
Unwilling to be
woke. Attached to Joe Rogan
and the manosphere.

house rich
Flaunt your wealth with gold
sconces, marble countertops
and pink chandeliers.

grand opening/grand closing
No one even had
the chance to browse the store or
touch the merchandise.

or the first day of second summer
A fall where it’s still
hot outside all the time and
leaves stay on the trees.

rip post-herald
It’s been 20 years
since our newspaper shut down.
Many more have croaked.

the mighty sovereign citizen
Anti-gov crackpot
challenges authority
every single day.

artificial scarcity
You need this. But it’s
almost gone! You don’t really
need this. Buy it quick!

don’t yuck my yum
A world of flavors
and preferences, plenty
of room for all tastes.

the library has moved
And so have the books
and the personnel and the
hamster named Herman.

corporate enticements
Free food and ping pong
are certainly better than
flex hours and raises.

hillside ornaments
Landscaping on a
slanted surface with meatball
bushes and much mulch.

donut shoppe dilemma
I can’t decide what
to get for my dozen. Might
I try every one?

plus plus dash
A compliment, then
another compliment, then
a vow to resume.

snoozing in the janitor’s closet
Walking down the hall
listening to the gentle
snore of a cleaner.

first amendment, first priority
Make a joke about
the president and get yanked
from TV airwaves.

look who’s chicken
Sometimes powerful
people fold in the face of
an angry public.

examining the will
Check for intent and
execution. Does it match
testator’s wishes?

pinball heaven
Silver balls careen
through grandiose mazes, and
so many flippers!

missed connection
Hey stranger, our eyes
met at the car wash and you
were wearing burlap …

life on airplane mode
Flying along with
no notifications and
no complications.

the most critical part of a surprise party
Making sure the lights
are off and all the guests are
hiding in their spots.

a sink full of dirty dishes
We let them pile up
without rinsing or putting
them in the washer.

that new library smell
Checking out the plush
pristine carpets and dusty
old books on display.

help from afar
Participating
in protests and petitions
to stop genocide.

social media was a mistake
Every post reflects
nonsensical opinions
on every topic.

costume conundrum
Something timely or
timeless? Funny or scary?
Sexy or slutty?

entertaining seniors
Some light juggling, a
game of bingo and chair-based
yoga on Thursday.

in memory of
The mourners gathered
in church to pay their respects
to a lost loved one.

showdown in the courtroom
Angry mom v.
angry dad over the care
of their little ones.

a book for basic dickheads
Everything I don’t
like is “woke,” especially
this stupid engine.

know your cocktails
A pricey course in
bartender specialties that
can be sipped or gulped.

just call me petty betty
I can hold a grudge
like no other, some going
back a few decades.

don’t call everyone a nazi
(Unless they’re trying
to stamp out minorities
and oppressed peoples.)

bobbing for herpes
No one puts apples
in a tub of water since
we found out it’s gross.

seeking friendship
Companionship can
be rare when we don’t know how
to attract others.

fiesta time
Eating tacos while
color-coordinated
bandas take the stage.

lucha libre
The vocal crowd roared
its support as luchadors
became acrobats.

the care and feeding of a wade
Observe quietly,
engage him gently, offer
him a Diet Coke.

we think we’re the majority
How often we find
out others violently
disagree with us.

the many flavors of anxiety
We learn to cope with
fear of future by getting
us desensitized.

unserious people
Surrounded by those
who could make a difference
but choose otherwise.

your daily fascism
Threats of violence,
a little gaslighting, a
dose of suppression.

the masks are off
Evil spirits no
longer dwell in the shadows
but wander freely.

so many car washes out there
The sole objective
standard to judge a car is
by its cleanliness.

the museum of graffiti
Artists make use of
spray paint to create gorgeous
murals on clean walls.

art deco town
The streets are lined with
fabulous examples of
old architecture.

that new house smell
Walls scrubbed clean and floors
that shine. Take everything in,
lord of the manor.

moving out
Her stuff disappeared
box by box, leaving almost
no trace of herself.

a place for plants
Each windowsill and
table top, all along the
floor and balcony.

mother-daughter detente
A truce at long last,
as both re-evaluate
their losses and gains.

an empty house
A home full of life
goes quiet. The kids have moved
on and far away.

the sofa puzzle
A pink couch that comes
in pieces requires some
tools and some luck.

an eye for decor
A custom palette
and swatches of fabrics lead
the way to great style.

the battle of portland
This Veterans Day,
please remember the selfless
heroes who fought squat.

the ornery judge
She was gruff and would
not deal with shenanigans
within her courtroom.

interview blues
All that prep time to
end up babbling like a dope
for 40 minutes.

the microwave trap
Unsuspecting fools
trying to heat lunches doomed
due to faulty latch.

data center defiance
Where will they build? Not
here, not now. Dreadful impact
on environment.

salad in a bag
All kinds of shredded
lettuce with more veggies and
assorted fixins.

ghosting as a way of life
Never return a
call or a text. Just keep on
gliding through the world.

20 years of poetry
Counting syllables
while putting words to my wild
imagination.

the last days of turkey
Fat and satisfied,
he ambles round the barnyard
with nary a care.

the ballroom
Historic rubble
gives way to hubris with a
tacky gold veneer.

ladies and gentlemen, the weekend
Pack up and head home.
There’s nothing that can’t wait till
Monday or Tuesday.

the high cost of living
Inflation is our
constant companion, making
our sad lives worth less.

the new new nazi party
They speak of murders
for cleansing, giving salutes
with knowing glances.

don’t drink the water
When going abroad,
imbibe the wines and beers, teas
and juices and mead.

pocket translator
Smartphones interpret
the wider world with kindly
linguistic aplomb.

fly the bankrupt skies
Passengers must serve
their own drinks and load baggage
onto the airplane.

pilgrims and indians
Two factions sit down
to dinner and politely
break bread together.

a fall beach trip
Less crowded but still
sunny. Familiar rhythms
beckon us to stay.

life in merida
Mexican city
thrives with kind-hearted people
and warmer weather.

let it flood, let it flood, let it flood
Hurricanes batter
helpless hot spots dumping an
ocean of water.

a book inscription
“Dearest Reader, know
that I wrote this fine book for
you especially.”

prelude to a nap
Drooping eyes, flagging
energy can’t compete with
a warm, cozy bed.

the unpainted table
She felt like sprucing
it up, though it didn’t need
a real makeover.

giftfinding
A special knack for
finding the perfect item
that will bring a smile.

the mother who wasn’t there
Father and son don’t
get along, leaving her caught
in between warriors.

beyond mass appeal
It’s the specifics
that draw an audience, the
details that matter.

always another fire to put out
Something is burning?
It must be a day ending
with the letter “Y.”

what’s a living wage?
When food, shelter and
clothing can be bought, with some
left for dignity.

santa keeps three lists
On the third list are
terrorists, billionaires and
bitcoin fanatics.

snap decisions
The benefits don’t
last long with three kids eating
everything in sight.

modern pinball
Less about flippers
and more about buzzy screens
and endless cutscenes.

where is the exit?
Please let us escape
this nightmare world where our dreams
and plans are strangled.

the value of pbs
A wholesome network
where kids can learn and adults
can absorb culture.

the appeasement strategy
Let the bully win,
then fret when he returns for
more compensation.

the lie that got away
It started as a
fib, grew into a whopper,
blew up in our face.

boyfriend material
Owns his own house and
car. Practices chivalry.
Cares for his kitties.

early morning fog
Even headlights fall
away in an enormous
white cloud floating so.

the crackdown
Masked armed thugs from the
government round up people
of color on sight.

the alabama solution
A deadly sentence
for state prisoners at the
mercy of the guards.

a night at the symphony
Beautiful patrons
love Mozart and Tchaikovsky
performed with panache.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 72

Wade Kwon — Wed, 10 Sep 2025 05:00:06 +0000

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southern politeness
Soft noncommittal
answers dance around probing
inquiries, y’all see.

sets at 7 and 9:45
Comedians get
ready, while fans take on the
two-drink minimum.

toxic moms
They said that you were
no damn good and human trash
unworthy of love.

asynchronous planning
Coordinating
our schedules while skimming through
a jumble of texts.

the mythologization of normalcy
A grand adventure
awaits every small errand
or sip of coffee.

freak rain
Summertime is marked
with cloud bursts and steam baths at
any given time.

ai the reporter or journAlIsm
Hallucinations
plague each and every sentence.
Everyone loves slop.

don’t ask me why
Every drunk must have
his drink. Don’t wait for answers.
Just take your chances.

the bad friend
Never calls, never
texts, never makes an effort
to keep things going.

there’s a new tariff in town
Tax on everything.
Prices are skyrocketing.
Recession coming.

billionaire country
Personal jets and
luxury yachts, tailored clothes
and money to burn.

dance party usa
“Alexa, play New
Wave,” she ordered as she spun
in the living room.

the same page
Sometimes, we’re novels
apart in sentiments and
beliefs. We’ll get there.

the war on hemp
Alabama hates
a plant it can’t control.
Getting high no more.

arcade dreams
Pinball machines and
classic video games beep
and boop all evening.

triumph of the shill
An oligarch rules
with his hand out, expecting
a sizable bribe.

grand theft identity
Foreign powers steer
hackers to impersonate
us for money grabs.

hormones run amok
Her body freaks out
from surges, imbalances
and some hot flashes.

she nose a new season
Put aside pesky
allergies and breathe in the
first day of summer.

poetry in america
The excitement of
sharing treasured verses with
a wide audience.

the workout queen
She ruled the gym with
strength (lactose acid, be damned)
poise and protein shakes.

at the adult spelling bee
W-H-Y
D-O I-T? W-
H-Y N-O-T?

a question of surprises
Is it worth the risk
to surprise someone, or is
it going to flop?

bag it
Forget the wrapping
paper and tape. Shove the gift
in a sack and go.

celiac suspicions
Are the chefs being
extra careful about cross-
contamination?

a mighty crush
His heart beat faster,
all because of a pretty
girl who looked his way.

talk and walk
Their neighborhood strolls
wound through the streets featuring
droll conversation.

the right way to tell people off
Bullhorn, graffiti,
skywriting, voicemail, flyers,
keying vehicles.

the cost of (barely) living
Regrettably poor,
earning just enough to get
by and nothing more.

the hug machine
DIY kit that
squeezes the user gently
providing a hug.

the rainbow parade
Marching down Seventh
Avenue, merry strollers
proclaim, “Happy Pride!”

be more yes
Finding adventure
around every corner. Who
am I to say no?

no more kings
We got rid of King
George 250 years
ago. One to go …

monsoon season
Once a day, the skies
turn violent with lightning
and stormy surges.

packing for the lake
A mere five bags hold
everything for my three-day
lakeshore getaway.

the vacation bible school experience
Kids gather to learn
about Jesus and break for
milk and stale cookies.

the scent of sargasso
The stink of thick brown
seaweed makes this vacation
most unbearable.

hacked and confused
A breach so big all
users must reset passwords
before it’s too late.

homegrown empire
She’s building a 10-
million-dollar enterprise
in her spare bedroom.

lessons from the man of steel
What does a baby
from Krypton have to teach us
in the 2000s?

beyond sweaty
I am damp chested
from moderate exercise,
pouring down my face.

the patterns only i see
Eating cereal,
wearing glasses, placing bowls
in the dishwasher.

parking ins and outs
The parking laws are
meaningless when the weekend
rolls around. Go nuts.

in a hundred years
In a hundred years,
we will all be dead and none
of this will matter.

beta testers
To check the software
(or hardware), volunteers try
out the new features.

the garden club
They take pride in their
blossoming roses, also
their pruning techniques.

earworm wars
Catchy melodies
live rent free in my head. No
wonder I’m crazy.

mayor tiktok
Spending all day on
the socials, leadership by
playlists and selfies.

how to make friends in 2025
End loneliness by
joining group activities
and stopping scrolling.

obsessed with asamimichan
Cartoon rabbits bounce
with cheeky energy and
adorable bums.

creeping along, careerwise
A task here, a task
there. Soon we’ll have training and
minor skill building.

the trouble with china
One billion souls, all
under the control of the
Communist Party.

adoption nightmare
Korean market
supplies stolen babies for
the US to take.

sass to the extreme
It begins with a
dangerous provocation
and ends with wan smiles.

seeking slave ships
Black scuba divers
find centuries-old galleons
on the ocean floor.

great aspirations
Making the best use
of time to win at life and
journey much further.

we don’t vacation enough
Why is it so hard
to claim time off and spend it
pursuing fun things?

a junky inheritance
Generational
acquisitions shouldn’t be
hand-me-down millstones.

fruit fix
Berries and apples
and bananas and melons
and pineapples, too.

90 miles later
Many a journey
starts on a narrow strip of
mat circling around.

what’s in it for me?
Ask the most basic
question for self-interest.
Otherwise, time waste.

the sleep monster
It awakens at
odd hours, gobbling slumber with
ravenous hunger.

pimping books
The staff shows a deep
love of books in reels pushing
reading as vital.

the passing of a man
Unexpectedly
he died, leaving behind loved
ones and legacy.

invasion of privacy
Secrecy can be
tough to manage when prying
eyes wander too close.

representation matters always
Who stands in for us
in media, government,
board rooms and healthcare?

this fragile democracy
A madman with no
compunction upends our rule
of law and order.

for the good of the corporation
Take heed of the stock
price and make it grow and grow
till it hits the sky.

the four-day workweek
A full day reclaimed
in the name of leisure and
Fridays filled with fun.

radical empathy
Fear turns to kindness
when strangers are welcomed no
matter who they are.

the straying stallions
Yet another team
gallops away. City of
dying franchises.

why even go back to school?
When education
makes students dumber thanks to
widespread whitewashing.

the redditors unite
With brews in hand, they
pulled up chairs to join lively
exchange IRL.

ip i see
Creativity
is blunted not by AI
but by old IP.

the gutting of public media
Programming for the
masses to be pre-empted
in rural places.

the gutting of universities
Cutting-edge research
dissolves without the grants and
funding. Science stops.

teaching is learning
What better way to
show off what you’ve learned than by
instructing others?

stranger on the doorstep
Don’t knock at night if
you expect a friendly smile
and a warm welcome.

grief in all its forms
Neverending tears.
Heart in agony. Time to
eat a casserole.

swelter in place
Shade or no shade, the
harsh penalty for being
outdoors is heat stroke.

the guru in the zoom
She had nothing but
tough love to dole out among
the participants.

clutter opportunist
No free space is safe
when the packrat invades shelves,
closets and counters.

enough shame to go around
It’s class warfare and
actual warfare. This is
a moral wasteland.

a hint of grease
That pan is not clean
enough. Wash it again and
really scrub it good.

watercooler moments
We all deserve a
break, where we can shoot the breeze
with our work buddies.

who will run our town?
These mediocre
busybodies are on the
ballot. We decide.

no checks, just imbalances
A runaway prez
steamrolls over rule of law
and other branches.

unlocking the operating system
The users often
overlook nifty tricks and
time-saving shortcuts.

katrina remembered
Hurricane swamps the
levees. No help is coming.
Coastal city drowns.

flee circus
The good ol’ US
of A is no place for lone
outcasts much like me.

back yard beautification
An unyielding sun
showers me in heat as I
pull some nasty weeds.

all’s quiet on the labor front
Quiet quitting and
quiet cracking … I give up!
I’m going crazy!!

the missing food truck
Hungry workers stand
by as their lunch hour winds down.
Where are their tacos?!

the emptiest nest
Both son and daughter
have flown off to college. The
house seems abandoned.

stuck in a sling
Weeks go by. Can’t work,
can’t work out. Ready to be
out of this restraint.

an instant no
He doesn’t need a
minute to think it over —
it’s always easy.

afraid to date
She couldn’t believe
guys were asking her out. What
a predicament.

meet the sims
Taking good care of
this virtual family
means godlike power.

the death of reading
If you made it to
the end of this short poem,
congratulations.

late night hunger
Driving around to
find some diner open at
this ungodly hour.

the s word
The new textbooks don’t
mention the original
American sin.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 71

Wade Kwon — Sun, 01 Jun 2025 05:00:06 +0000

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project 2025 in action
A solid blueprint
eroding democracy
using government.

adventures in air frying
Load the basket with
assorted ingredients
and set dial to blast.

the offer and the counteroffer
A two-step dance to
find out your worth in dollars,
cents and benefits.

the busy season
Lots of work and lots
of fun to be had, if our
time would allow it.

gift of gab
He would greet each one
by name, a friendly start to
many dialogues.

gelato journeys
Take me away to
summer days with bright sunshine
and gobs of ice cream.

making out at the bar
The couple put on
quite a show while we’re trying
to just have a drink.

a delightful smile
She beams happiness
to all around her, laughing
through her hazel eyes.

introvert’s credo
Not every moment
of silence must be filled with
endless jabbering.

who are you wearing?
Let’s dress up and watch
the Oscars in style. Even
in just pajamas.

emotional ambush
She attacks without
warning, feeding on stress and
deep anxiety.

the age we feel
Who we see in the
mirror isn’t the same as
the age in our heads.

the impudent fire alarm
It was hard (SCREEE!) to
hold a conver— (SCREEE!) sation
with (SCREEE!) all that noise.

playtime at the restaurant
Kids would run and scream
and laugh and clamber on the
staircase before lunch.

sitting in the only booth
We share a moment
(and some tots) at the end of
the new restaurant.

a world without meat
Happy chickens, pigs
and cows celebrate diets
without their protein.

back to running
Hitting the streets with
a newfound focus on great
health and more movement.

clogged toilet, clogged sink
Why won’t the water
disappear? Don’t make me call
the plumber out here …

the ban
She vowed never to
work for the white man again.
It worked out just fine.

watching sports
An endless parade
of jocks playing each other
on fields of battle.

the needs of the special needs
Their teachers look out
for kids on the spectrum who
function differently.

parental alienation
One parent uses the
children as weapons in
a sick, twisted war.

the life of a nun
Days spent in prayer and
service, cloistered from the world
as brides of Jesus.

the piracy code
Why pay for stuff when
you can download it for free?
The artists suffer.

a question of luck
Clovers with four leaves
and feet of rabbits … can they
change puny fortunes?

beyond the norm
A most dry wit with
an insouciant devil-
may-care attitude.

exclamatory exuberance
This is exciting!
I’m trying to be normal
here. I can’t help it!!

too short a season
Along comes spring, warm
with budding joy. Let us dance
in rolling meadows.

government “efficiency”
Hack away at slim
pickings while boondoggles slip
through without a fight.

the true cost of eggs
Soaring prices tell
us that we should’ve tried to
save democracy.

disbanding the feds
It’s easy to can
the federal workforce when
nothing is sacred.

billionaires’ paradise
They own media,
corporations, resources
and the government.

rent in america
Through the roof, which is
now impossible on a
regular paycheck.

the worst timeline
We rolled the dice, not
knowing the consequences
of our fickle fate.

can’t get my meds
The same pills each month,
and yet I must get prior
authorization.

territorial at home
We share a household
but can’t seem to agree on
helpful boundaries.

picking our battles
New current events
warrant outrage, but how much
for each occurrence?

touch grass
Every now and then,
we must commune with nature
and drop all our screens.

let’s go walk the cat
Outdoorsy feline
prefers the leash to napping
all day long indoors.

the book of no
Yes. Yes? Yes! Yes … Yes—
Maybe. Could be. How about?
No No. NO NO. NO!

the battle for water
Our earth’s most precious
resource in short supply makes
for bloody conflict.

the stubborn old man
He would rather be
right than do right by his own
family. Hopeless.

outdated dating ideas
Get a mail order
bride. Make sure she’s dirt poor.
Knock her up. Profit!

death of an apple
The ancient laptop
flashed a sign of surrender,
stuck in boot up.

transparency in war
Tell everyone the
troops are on the way and the
bombs are coming next.

schooling by states
So much for helping
the disabled and fixing
inequality.

self care for a reason
All too easily,
we break down, burn out when not
paying attention.

in concert again
He took the stage to
flex his savvy after so
many years away.

the endless buffet
Steam tables loaded
with tempting Asian dishes
all to fatten us.

the best pizza in the world
We shared slices and
beers at this pizzeria
joint on the southside.

view from the outdoor bar
The world strolls by as
we sip our drinks and laugh at
some silly nonsense.

do you know this band?
A few bars in and
you figure out the artist,
even the album.

from the library of wade kwon
The dust jacket is
missing but the book itself?
Perfect condition.

taxable hoods
Make billionaires pay
for schools, roads, research, the arts,
healthcare and defense.

on the sly
Do it where no one
can see it, right under their
collective noses.

what so proudly we hail
Our nation rots. We
careen to extinction at
twilight’s last gleaming.

somebody somewhere
Sam searches for her
true self with the help of her
friends and her sister.

falling behind in my gossip site
I barely know who’s
cancelled, who’s fighting who and
who’s screwing around.

the food court is no longer in session
The chairs are put up,
the guard is locking up, the
cooks are cleaning up.

drinking at the red lobster bar
It’s just us and a
waitress/bartender hopping
around the tables.

stuck in our musical eras
Classic rock is now
ancient. Oldies are from the
aughts. Radios? Dead.

hoarding it all
She had a need to
collect these odds and ends which
had no real value.

beware the bitter
It can destroy all
the happy feelings and leave
you in the gutter.

this could’ve been an email
She didn’t have to
splurge for our breakup dinner.
(Should’ve ordered steak.)

tearing down history
The architecture
alone is worth saving, but
the new owners won’t.

zillow gone wild
Crazy bathrooms and
panther statues, and all for
our nosy pleasure.

echoes of an eclipse
The disasters came
when the moon went in hiding
and the sun melted.

in remembrance of spencer gifts
Rad posters, raunchy
T-shirts, novelty items
galore at the mall.

magic man
Sorcerer attempts
to fool audience over
and over again.

pop donuts
A quaint storefront with
confections galore and a
hungry clientele.

chance encounter
What are the odds that
we meet someone who ticks each
item on our list?

internal turmoil
Roiling agita
churns my guts. Will my conscience
ever recover?

just friends
They made a go of
it but ended up as pals
with no benefits.

the accusation
HR ambushed her
with a 3-hour meeting
and scant evidence.

a symphonic evening
Beautiful music
floated through the theater
with a baton’s wave.

maintaining posture
Sit up straighter in
an effort to line up our
lopsided bones.

a world of texting
Telegram, WhatsApp,
Messenger and Signal have
bypassed SMS.

nerding out
It’s no longer a
cultural faux pas to be
fixated by stuff.

mental breakdown
Bombarded by guilt
and unable to cope with
a strong shame spiral.

all the news that gives us fits
The headlines offer
nothing but overwhelming
fiascos and cons.

the man without a will
He didn’t need a
piece of paper to give up
his worldly trappings.

the new beard
Face has a new do
styled by indifference and
maintained just barely.

robots that can reason
The rising AI
IQ threatens to replace
our society.

roomies: a love story
She came, she stayed, she
started a new family
of two in this house.

pollen nation
Trees be fucking out
here, leaving hot messes and
making us achoo.

the sarcastic
It’d be so great
if you’d curbed your attitude
for the time being.

the appreciation factory
Gratitude is our
business, and business is so
very, very good.

monday dinner
We look forward to
our weekly ritual for
fellowship and fun.

reddit to the rescue
One forum after
another, chock full of snark
and even advice.

slop till you drop
Artificially
generated content tends
to be terrible.

nosiness detector
Knock knock knock. Who’s there?
Nunya. Nunya who? Nunya
damn business, honky.

home of the hornets
Along the railing
of the balcony stood a
small colony nest.

runaway prices
What if tariffs were
the actual culprit for
inflated costs? Nah.

undue process
Send them to prison
in El Salvador and then
let God sort them out.

lost vets, lost freedoms
Did they fight for an
authoritarian state
or democracy?

those poor billionaires
So misunderstood
with their mountains of cash and
their pillaging ways.

learning to be sorry
Apologize from
the heart. Own your mistakes. Be
kind and repentant.

the story of jesus
As told by choirs,
one soloist, one string section
and colorful slides.

ankle angst
Does it need rest, ice,
compression, elevation?
Hope it heals quickly.

the cypher
Encoded message
for your eyes only contains
schematics and plans.

stanning for teddy swims
That voice, that gorgeous
voice, coupled with thrilling songs
defying genres.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 70

Wade Kwon — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 06:00:06 +0000

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gratitude is our business
Gratitude is our
business. And business is so
very very good.

sunday scaries
Oh no! The weekend
is almost over, and I
am dreading Monday.

turkey tally
How many birds do
we need for Thanksgiving? A
gaggle? What the flock?!

the bill comes due
The moment you’ve been
dreading: It’s time to pay up,
and you have no cash.

blinded by sunlight
No way to see the
road or the cars ahead faced
with maximum glare.

the unhealable thumb
A simple broken
nail leads to big ouchies from
every snag and catch.

let’s get petty
This game requires
a long memory and a
sour disposition.

psych yourself up for tiny wins
I’m going to get
moving. Any second now,
I’ll stand up for sure.

the snack cart
Baskets of cookies
and chips and fruits and nuts and
everything yummy.

the revamped walmart
Shoppers wander the
aisles looking for their misplaced
bargains and must-haves.

what charities will accept
Dirty jeans, moldy
books, scuffed furniture, ugly
sweaters, odds and ends,

man amongst the machines
He punched buttons and
swore at failures, adjusting
to the mechanics.

security on 25 screens
Black-and-white vision
aids watchful eyes in keeping
the site safe for all.

the ass crack bandit
Slippin’ them quarters
into bent-over butts while
remaining unknown.

sound signals of friendship
The right ringtones and
text tones spark instant joy from
incoming tidings.

the loudest guy in the room
His jovial ways
connect him with others in
keeping things relaxed.

fix a plate
Heap it with lots of
good eats, take a photo to
show off, then dig in!

beyond shopping
Take a walk outside:
Escape the material
world with its trappings.

the crocheted blanket
She poured love into
each stitch, weaving together
brightly colored yarn.

future dread
Thinking about the
future freezes my soul. I
can’t imagine why.

self care and the question of privilege
The world is burning,
but I’m retreating in haste.
Bigger fish to fry.

exploiting a vulnerability
Love is the pit of
your stomach wrenching in pain
from abandonment.

a hint of mint
Toothpaste doesn’t need
to taste like bubblegum or
goddam sassafras.

eat mor milkshakes
A peppermint chip
milkshake: the only food I
need in December.

catching a recruiter’s eye
All it takes is a
couple of keywords on your
LinkedIn profile page.

once, we were happy
A couple so in
love, spending time together.
Where did it all go?

the first phone call in months
Mother and daughters
take turns re-establishing
some kind of rapport.

the frailty of mom and dad
They got old so fast.
Brains, bodies worn out over
time. Goodbye comes soon.

the mini convenience store
Snacks and meals, sodas
and energy drinks. All run
from a checkout stand.

contraband in the planter
She found a stash of
mushrooms, fairly certain they
belonged to the teens.

the war against stuff
Don’t give me any
things. Fight clutter rather than
declutter again.

gig work as an elf
Santa runs a mean
shop. Quotas and deadlines on
expendable pay.

the wild robot
Machine reborn as
caregiver to a gosling
alone in the woods.

small joys every day
Rejoice in the wee
wonders that go unnoticed
brightening our lives.

at every moment, we are volunteers
Stephen Colbert says
to take everything with an
air of gratitude.

weighty matters
It’s OK to tell
the doctor that you don’t want
to step on the scale.

the stealth poet
Able to craft lines
and verses without being
detected by you.

when to hang it up: love edition
Two people without
hope to reconcile their own
insecurities.

when to hang it up: work edition
Relations sour
between once convivial
colleagues. Game over.

the shivery promise of a new season
Winter is here. Do
we hibernate or shed our
comforting jammies?

stressed beyond belief
Suffering under
too many obligations
and money troubles.

a relationship detour
Out of nowhere, a
time to re-evaluate
our shaky future.

who fills mama’s stocking?
Don’t leave out the one
person who makes sure to fill
the other stockings.

a christmas prayer
Worldwide conflicts tear
our lives apart. Seeking peace,
now more than ever.

the war within
Do I shut out my
friends to limit the carnage,
or share my chaos?

rainy, cold and dreary
Seemingly endless
cycle of wintry torment
in long barrages.

the value of camaraderie
To get through the tough
times, we should stick together
and love each other.

our hidden stories
We dare not share them
on social media, so
immense is our shame.

banned words, 2024 edition
Demure, brat, brain rot,
enshittification, cat
lady, skibidi.

going out with a sigh
Good riddance to the
vibes of 2024
and its doomsday scene.

new year, new you
… I muttered after
throwing my dead clone into
the nearest dumpster.

a shattered heart
The hardest part is
letting go. The easiest
part is letting go.

five stages of modern grief
Scrolling, vaguebooking,
numbing, ordering Postmates,
then narcissism.

an unbearable pain
Closing in on all
sides, unable to escape
her miserable life.

the littlest joys
We end the day with
reflection on small wins that
bring on such rare smiles.

conversational desperation
We connected but
for a moment, ending in
complete severance.

a disposable relationship
How do you throw love
away, when it’s so hard to
find in the first place?

to be a good man
Whether to shelve your
feelings and listen, or give
in to being hurt.

the best possible self
A version of me
stood proud for being loving
and fiercely loyal.

the place where wee things belong
Invisible signs
mark the spots where things should go,
home for each object.

seasonally, affectively disordered
Long nights bring gloomy
moods. Such dread manifests in
the gray winter sky.

the uncooperative treadmill
The readout displays
all 8s, meaning exercise
will take place elsewhere.

misery comes in twos
They faced their burdens
while holding each other up,
so great was their pain.

cooking efficiency
Make enough now to
eat again and again right
through the coming week.

how to date in 2025
Let AI make the
texts resonate, the photos
racy, the soul bland.

not working? networking
A year without the
right job means it’s time to call
in the cavalry.

the lost year
Sitting out of the
action, letting precious time
slip further away.

who could’ve seen it coming?
One moment, she’s in
a great partnership. The next,
she’s running from me.

the therapist blinked
Our session went quite
smoothly, until I revealed
my true misfortune.

on his day
King would not be shocked
to find our country ready
to back a strongman.

what she left behind
A fan, a bottle
of pills, a puzzle, fancy
pillow, her house keys.

on tap everywhere
Take a sip of fresh
water, you can really taste
the microplastics.

playing the field
Swipe left, swipe right, chat
up the ladies and locate
their social profiles.

dead inside
A piece of the soul
disintegrates, making the
body immobile.

fish sticks and doughnuts
Homeless and hungry,
the wanderers came in for
food and fellowship.

dish duty
I actually
don’t mind picking up a scrub
brush and scouring plates.

five queens
Black beauties around
a table trading good vibes
and laughing it up.

the burning of the sage
Out, OUT with the bad
juju, and in with the new
hopeful energy.

the legend of the chicken hat
Left behind by new
dates, giving an excuse to
call or to visit.

in the memory care unit
Residents, guided
by helpers, make their way to
their dining room seats.

the judge will sort it out
He said, she said. Their
lawyers out for blood. Let us
settle this in court.

the enshittification of content
We can make most things
with digital tools, but we
crank out loads of slop.

revenge of the dating apps
New methods to be
humiliated, harassed
and harangued online.

message to my ex
Fuck that fucking fuck.
Hope he gets shanked in prison
and dies bleeding there.

voice tracking, but for the tv industry
Local news, weather
and sports, but with broadcasters
far removed from here.

the cold
Runny nose, sore throat,
tired, listless and sore. At
least it’s not COVID.

finding out your worth
You’re worth so much more
than a dollar amount, but
those are our values.

a family in therapy
Mother and daughters
jockey for understanding
and for the last word.

an abundance of hospitality
Family welcomes
stranger into their home for
food and gifts and fun.

a house divided
Can a couple of
political opposites
get and stay married?

new york in 4 days
Take in a few shows,
concert, hit the museums,
dine around the town.

party for two
Presents plus a cake
and takeout dinner. What a
wonderful soiree!

what i like to do
Go walking, lift weights,
watch documentaries, write
poetry, dine out.

temper tantrum
Lashing out because
of high stress becomes ugly
pattern of abuse.

otp pdq
Find the one who bonds
with you effortlessly for
your one true pairing.

empathy surplus
It’s difficult to
empathize with someone who
is all empathy.

no penpals
Her dating profile
was all business, from height to
beliefs to shoe size.

career limbo
At a stage in life
where experience and smarts
get you nowhere fast.

an expensive hobby
Going out on first
dates is fun, but going out
on second dates rocks!

5 o’clock conversations
Late afternoon was
reserved for talking about
how our dear days went.

the vanishing package
A porch pirate (or
naughty raccoon) made off with
my Amazon box.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 69

Wade Kwon — Mon, 11 Nov 2024 06:00:06 +0000

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breaking for gold
Dancers sashay to
hip hop beats, showing off and
showing up others.

friendly fire
The two disagree,
unable to budge from their
hardened perspectives.

techno wizardry
The new gizmo works
as advertised. How often
can you proclaim that?

coffeehouse day one
Brand new furniture,
sparkling appliances, good
brews ready to pour.

enemies in the office
They would be at each
other’s throats if not for the
risk to be fired.

school as a battleground
Children’s laughter fills
the hallways as teachers prep
themselves for the war.

reaching out for help
Sometimes the hardest
step is to ask someone to
lend their assistance.

the lone volunteer
He answered the phones
and kept the minutes and took
care of all the bills.

feeling good
All it takes to get
rid of depression is to
fight negative thoughts.

the halls of kiddie lit
Hardy Boys and Tom
Swift, Nancy Drew and Oz, Thing
Two and Narnia.

shun the nonbelievers
They spent their Sundays
blissfully unaware of
the power of Christ.

0/0 vision
From AC haven
to searing heat, my glasses
completely fog up.

academic grind
Classes generate
huge workload for tired students
to finish at home.

newest member of the family
White paws and black fur
with a vocabulary
of “mew mew meow.”

the empathic brother
He wept in the hope
that his oldest brother would
be happy at last.

stories to tell
Her arsenal was
no more than an array of
fantastical tales.

the breakup
She had the yearly
crisis of confidence that
led to their breakup.

choosing sides
A family breaks
apart on a fault line of
mistrust and half-truths.

familial obsession
Getting fixated
on the one member who seems
the weakest of all.

senior promise
A year to work hard,
celebrate and look back on
a high school career.

billionaire express
What rich prick are we
shooting into space today?
Let’s send all of them.

a doctor who will listen
Not too pressed for time,
willing to pay attention
and serve the patient.

to study wine
Read the label. Pour
a sample. Swish it around.
Take a sip and slurp.

rejoicing of the commenters
A resurrected
online community breathes
air of sweet freedom.

the hill you’ll die on
For a big cause or
small cause, or even if you’re
just being petty.

the life of a teacher
Grading papers and
coming up with lesson plans,
or just staying sane.

pigskin embargo
I gave up watching
football 10 years ago and
haven’t missed it since.

reservation dogs
Four teens dream of life
in California, far from
their crummy home life.

a little lotto win
Crossing state lines to
get lottery ticket, but
winnings go to gas.

it’s not a meal until you wear it
Oops! I dropped some sauce
on my nice clean shirt and I
look like a big mess.

laboring intently
If you do a good
job, they reward you with more
projects. What b.s.!

cleaning the garage
Donate, keep, trash. Keep,
trash. Donate, keep, trash. Donate,
keep, trash. Trash. Trash. Trash.

two american families
The men lost jobs in
factories. The couples work
hard to fall behind.

kid chef
Already a pro
at making burritos and
grilled cheese and ramen.

bourdain the biopic
Our favorite chef writes
books and travels the world to
celebrate cultures.

the toughest job market in years
Can’t get interviews,
can’t get call backs and can’t get
recruiters to help.

when it hurts all over
Doctors somehow fail
to treat chronic pain in an
average body.

the new hopeful
She struts onto the
field, ready to run over
her competitors.

the lesser-known hits
They play them for the
groupies and the true fans, tunes
that sound familiar.

laughter is the best lubrication
Way to overcome
social anxiety is
rubbing funny bones.

finish each other’s sandwiches
She burnt the grilled cheese,
but I ate it anyway …
it was made with love.

a drive-by reunion
They recognized each
other in an instant, did
a fist bump, then left.

return to networking
It wasn’t so bad
wading through people, drinking,
chatting up strangers.

concrete arches
Standing at the show
left us in pain for days, our
legs aching badly.

when plans don’t align
Their evening brought up
a painful realization
they couldn’t foresee.

a nation of immigrants, a nation of laws
We can’t seem to make
up our minds about a path
to citizenship.

an oven like new
Thanks to some repairs,
the oven can once again
get (and stay) heated.

quiet quitting
Fuck this job, I can’t
wait to get out and work at
another dead end.

ambushed in the office
Dispiriting words
send morale crashing in a
humbling instant.

the coolest summer of your life
It’s only gonna
get hotter from here on out.
Better buy sunscreen.

autumnal fare
Fall brings delights such
as pumpkin pie, turkey and
oodles of candy.

new habits come easily
I’ve never had a
problem starting a new plan
and sticking to it.

the surging candidate
She brought a new truth:
Never underestimate
the power of joy.

the fly trap
A bowl with orange-ish
broth luring fruit flies to an
untimely demise.

imagination to text to image
AI is the best
illustrator to capture
wildest dreams onscreen.

originality
Are we ignorant
of where ideas come from
in the first place? Hmm …

the clique
Left out on his own,
he navigates through mankind
with a wary stare.

please vote
Go register now
and be ready to cast a
vote in November.

everything’s circumstantial
Until a smoking
gun pops up, we can’t be sure
if they are guilty.

shooting up southside
Four dead, 17
wounded when gunmen shot at
patrons of club Hush.

the secret ransomware attack
The city would not
admit it was paralyzed
by Russian hackers.

the things they do with reese’s these days
Once a simple cup,
now unrecognizable
as shapes and sizes.

borrowing money from mom
She put aside her
pride and asked for a loan to
prevent disaster.

they aimed for italy
Large bureaucracy
sent them packing for a new
beginning in Spain.

the relationship sojourn
They took time apart
to figure out how to beat
their fears and foibles.

feeling unappreciated
Toiling endlessly
at work for a tiny bit
of recognition.

they fought in the car
Turn off radio,
face each other, speak gently,
listen to what’s said.

the holiday do-over
They rewarded each
other for a job well done.
A full day of fun.

spiraling
Each day, the feeling
of depression is bigger
than the one before.

afraid to speak up
Courage is needed
when it comes to voicing those
matters of the heart.

ready for halloween early
Their yard became a
cemetery overnight
way back in August.

working for the perfectionist
She would let colleagues
know about the proper way
to do everything.

aged out
How old is too old
to hold down a job? Keep
on driving? Not die?

the picture book
Assembled are great
photos from throughout the years
they spent together.

may you live in interesting times
The problem with that
is they’re too interesting
to endure longer.

death to the beater car
Don’t shoot it — a waste
of ammo. Tow it quickly
to any junkyard.

milquetoast confessions
Prefer milk over
water. Drives slowly in the
right lane. Needs glasses.

tricks 2024
Deepfake your friend in
a compromising photo.
Gaslight a lover.

project 2025
So many wicked
ideas crammed into a
political book.

pot pourri
His clothes reeked, his hair
reeked. But the officer could
not find any weed.

one way to two way
No way this one-way
should change to a two-way street.
This is not the way.

the halting road
Every 50 yards,
another stop sign ruined
the daily commute.

klepto phase
He would snag bits and
pieces from family rooms
and closets. But why?

exercise ratio
For every hour
spent sedentary, walk for
10 minutes or so.

never enough spoons
How do you use so
many spoons in the kitchen?
We *have* forks and knives.

no plan survives contact with the enemy
“Everyone has a
plan until they get punched in
the mouth.” — Mike Tyson

the telltale yawn
Tired ran across his
face as the mild evening stretched
into darkest night.

cleaning out the fridge
Shelf after shelf needs
wiping down after taking
out all the spoiled foods.

little annoyances
Having a split nail;
drivers not using blinkers;
volume up too loud.

and a 12-foot skeleton comes to life
Ghosts who haunt your house.
Bats that become vampires.
Witches casting spells.

the menu planning board
Balancing the needs
of all, while trying out some
brand new recipes.

homeless smorgasbord
Sandwiches, chips and
drinks. Tepid soup and other
assorted handouts.

modern circles of hell
Traffic, lousy weed,
digital trolling, health care,
no wifi signal.

stress won’t go away
Knotted stomach aches
while body tenses up. Each
hour, agony.

ballot box blues
Casting votes for hope
or fear, progress or regress,
woman or man-child.

the office beginning
A blur of new names
and faces. Learning passwords
and daily routines.

the missing son
He snuck out of the
house, to party all night with
friends and miscreants.

creative output
In mash notes and hot
dishes, in running errands
and taking selfies.

family squabble
They agreed to bouts
of counseling, not knowing
it would lead to fights.

the break room haven
A quiet place to
heat lunch and drink coffee, to
sit and just be there.

the biggest parade of all
Stand proud, Birmingham:
Our parade serves as the best
salute to our vets.

• • •

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Happy Labor Day!

Wade Kwon — Mon, 02 Sep 2024 05:00:19 +0000

Video: Why we celebrate Labor Day

Happy Labor Day! Watch this quick look at the holiday from USA Today.

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 68

Wade Kwon — Fri, 02 Aug 2024 05:00:06 +0000

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the war on books
It is not enough
to decry books, but to stop
others from access.

most wanted librarians
They’re outlaws because
they fight for freedom to read,
to think and to share.

a trip to the emergency room
Waiting among the
sickies to be processed and
tested and restored.

a tendency towards warm soda
They would drink cans of
Coke straight off the counter, no
ice, like weirdos. *burp*

car shopping 2024
Check out a bunch of
websites to find suitable
used cars to purchase.

the ever-tightening belt
Paycheck to paycheck,
staying afloat (barely) all
while making ends meet.

the rise of sports gambling
Bet on every score,
tackle, pitch, penalty, free
throw, fight, injury.

striking distance
Never friendly to
labor, the South finds itself
with more new unions.

bonus ticket
Invite a friend to
accompany us to the
concert this evening.

things that go wrong baking cookies
Too much of something,
an uneven oven or
butter at wrong temp.

the fraternity
Fighting one minute,
playing together the next.
brotherly love wins.

stop signs and speed bumps
The neighborhood would
no longer tolerate those
speeders on the street.

the lonely whistleblower
Her voice proclaims the
misdeeds of others, only
to be brushed aside.

driving to mexico
Get off road before
nightfall. Carry bribe money
for policía.

looking for peppadews
Wandering the aisles
and asking the employees
about this pepper.

never order the chicken salad
They make the dish with
whatever chicken scraps are
left lying around.

browsing mckay’s
Aisles of beautiful
used books, crate after crate of
albums, lots of games.

forced to use the drive-thru
We wished to order
at the counter, but they locked
the damn restaurant.

who needs a driver’s license anymore?
Kids today with their
screens and anxieties don’t
want to drive a car.

pranking gone wrong
They’re usually
just excuses to be mean
while having a laugh.

barbecue dynasty
They carried on in
their father’s name, working the
pits from early dawn.

jump higher than ever
His vertical reach
was more than before, which was
a total surprise.

possessions unloaded
Before moving, the
couple disgorged themselves of
all worldly chattels.

no more farce
Satire is no
longer possible when real
life grows outlandish.

homes for one euro
In Italy, the
oldest broken down houses
are sold for nothing.

boundless neediness
The singer begged for
applause and shouting from a
weary audience.

alcoholics synonymous
Everywhere she turned,
her friends drank themselves nearly
to death. Spirits crushed.

no one blogs anymore
It’s all TikTok and
Instagram. Not Snapchat nor
Twitter. (Some Facebook.)

coltrane’s ‘alabama’
Written to echo
King’s speech and played in tribute
to four little girls.

the storytellers on facebook
Long rambling tales of
personal loss and minor
triumphs. Hit Publish.

have i seen this before?
So many movies,
books, TV shows and bands are
hard to keep in mind.

only so many saturdays in a year
A plethora of
choices from festivals to
art shows to cook-offs.

humorous decline
My ability
to pen punchlines has failed to
keep up with the times.

how we commemorate this memorial day
Picnic, prayer, beach trip,
grilling, cleaning graves, reflect,
storytelling, “Taps.”

christmas card from 1998
Chock full of witty
statistics from my own hum
drum everyday life.

has the internet made us smarter?
We have access to
the sum total of human
knowledge on our phones.

commute under protest
Wake up, get in the
car, face traffic, find parking,
repeat at day’s end.

up next … summer
Carefree days of hot
weather, cold drinks, all under
a brilliant blue sky.

the unexpected roommate
She arrived on the
doorstep with no place to go.
She crashed on the couch.

an end to toxic relationships
No more abusive
language. No more gaslighting.
No more tolerance.

kid art
An unkempt sheaf of
old drawings gathers dust. Should
we keep them always?

dear daughter
I miss you, and I
hope you’re the one to break the
absolute silence.

the murky path forward
To bootstrap yourself
requires a menu of
tough (some bad) choices.

a potpourri of plants
Green leaves and swelling
branches bring the room to lush
life. Growth beckons us.

the gentle art of sitting outside
Despite the heat and
mosquitoes, it behooves us
to sit a spell there.

interviews and connections
A job on the line,
it all comes down to sincere
likability.

the first cruise
They boarded the huge
ship, ready to explore nooks
and crannies alike.

the bad girlfriend
She led him to wrong
choices and cackled at his
casual cruelty.

chipmunk on the loose
Strange visitor from
the outside scampers through the
unguarded kitchen.

staycation sex
Like vacation sex,
but in oddball poses and
various spaces.

waves and waves and waves
Their pool antics made
for tiny tidal waves while
they shrieked in laughter.

road trip to texas
Gas up and head west.
Follow horizon till we
end up in Lubbock.

to pay it forward
So rarely do we
get the chance to help someone
we see in ourselves.

for the love of tires
Two tires for this
car, two tires for that car.
Rolling toward debt.

the closet of ill-fitting clothes
Not a shirt nor a
pants still fit. Time for a big
fashion overhaul.

invasion of the rats
They left little gifts
on desks of unsuspecting
workers overnight.

hail the conquering webmaster
It’s not easy to
create a company site,
but she did it well.

rules of power outages
Do not open the
fridge. Do not believe the time
promised for repair.

aligning with corporate values
Do we see eye to
eye when it comes to virtue
and dignity? Aye.

antiquing on the road
Browse the aisles at quaint
repositories for some
old, old bric-a-brac.

where does the money go?
We spend it as soon
as we get it. “Flush with cash”
turns into “flat broke.”

anniversary the second
Never have I had
a partner who makes me smile
so effortlessly.

selling art
Paintings and sculptures,
photos and music. Pricing
creativity.

the agony of split nails
They get caught on just
about everything, making
healing seem hopeless.

authoritarianism 2024
The world embraces
the strongman, at a true cost
to democracy.

trash city
Bag after bag fills
the can on the street. We’re a
throw-away culture.

the paper plate experiment
Forget the dishes:
Live a little with dishware
that can disappear.

the speed of mendacity
A lie is halfway
round the world before the truth
has got its boots on.

advance memories
My dreams sometimes drift
back to the newsroom when it
all brimmed with promise.

the proper loading of a dishwasher
Cups and bowls on the
top rack; plates, bowls, utensils
and pans on bottom.

unsolicited flattery
He butters me up
with compliments and sweetest
nothings. I do blush.

gathering on the fourth
The neighborhood brings
meats, sides and desserts aligned
with last initials.

sweaty overall
The humidity’s
stuck at 100 percent
in blistering heat.

gotta have a hat
A hairnet does no
one any favors, but a
cap always fits nice.

summer of sharks
In waist-deep water
does the fierce predator lurk,
jaws at the ready.

ramble on
She would wind her way
around a sentence, with one
more set to collide.

forming an identity
Pieces combining
to denote temperament,
attitude, ego.

the kitchen grind
Cooks a blur with prep
work and firing steaks. Plate
plating after plate.

to catch a president
He’s guilty, but he
won’t see the inside of a
prison this go-round.

locking it all up
One key for the front
door, the back door, the warehouse
door and offices.

great at communication
Speaks clearly and with
humility. Listens to
every nuanced phrase.

talking-to-teen talking points
Pay attention. Do
better. Clean up your room. Take
out the trash. Grow up!

being seen is everything
I mean, just try not
being seen, an exercise
in mute frustration.

chefs
Gang of knife-wielding
sickos who smoke, drink, curse and
turn out great cuisine.

he wore a red bandanna
Around his neck, it
reminded him of a girl
with bright shiny eyes.

headsets and joysticks
Gaming online with
your best friends, total strangers
and vicious smack talk.

the malfunctioning refrigerator
It got hot, it got
cold. It couldn’t stay on task
for long periods.

unsolicited feedback
They come at you with
criticisms and jabs while
you’re trying to work.

the checklist
The charter kept him
on track for opening and
closing the office.

painting projects
This one is a blue
lobster, while this other one
is a tiger face.

face off
The two candidates
slung proposals and insults
for 90 minutes.

choice of side dish
Corn on the cob, baked
beans, turnip greens, mac and cheese,
fried okra, coleslaw.

a northern heat wave
The furnace that is
our outside arrives in the
once chill Yankee states.

ooh la la, gay paris
The City of Light
welcomes competing athletes
from the world over.

an unpredictable violence
He could lash out and
punch walls at any moment.
We tolerate it.

narrating your life
A subconscious urge
to bring order by speaking
aloud mundane tasks.

waiting for updates
Check email. Wait. Grind
teeth. Wait some more. Check email.
No news is no news.

shield me from the microwave
You can’t convince me
that it ain’t bombarding me
with radiation.

radiation and the modern phone
Supergadget or
mini-nuclear reactor
for pocket cancer?

both sides now
He felt it best to
prep for the conversation
using a checklist.

morsels for the mind
What do we feed on
that helps stimulate the brain?
Smart choice, smarter us.

• • •

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Happy Independence Day!

Wade Kwon — Thu, 04 Jul 2024 05:00:08 +0000

Video: Chicago performs “Saturday in the Park”
for “A Capitol Fourth” TV special.

•

Happy birthday, America!

Enjoy this musical celebration from the 2023 “A Capitol Fourth” special.

Happy Memorial Day

Wade Kwon — Mon, 27 May 2024 05:00:16 +0000

Video: 2024 National Memorial Day Concert

Happy Memorial Day!

Enjoy music and more from the 2024 National Memorial Day Concert in Washington.

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 67

Wade Kwon — Tue, 23 Apr 2024 05:00:06 +0000

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the clique round the office
Splinter group lunches
together and shares their best
inside jokes and memes.

giving back giving forward
Spend the time to help
those in your community
who need a kind deed.

suing the family
Where has the stepdad
hidden loot promised to the
next generation?

beacons in an analog world
With no cell service,
they charged their phones only to
use them as flashlights.

sharing the photo albums
The residents burst
to life as they gazed at old
pictures from their youth.

forcing myself to stay present
It’s too easy to
zone out with a phone or book
and miss life as is.

coffee nook
Huddled over a
small table, they shared their lives
with lattes and love.

a daughter’s willfulness
She could be careless
with a stray barb, her meanness
as a defense move.

dad at a distance
Without custody,
he was just a stranger who
popped up at random.

the lonely garbage can
The cart, always with
a little trash, was missed each
time the truck rolled by.

bed of theseus
She planned to swap out
sheets, pillows and mattresses
to suit her own style.

when introverts collide
They gave each other
the space needed to renew
from together time.

escaping country
Too many hicks who
think they know about the world
and shout it out loud.

the spare freezer
A hiding spot for
popsicles of all stripes and
fresh chicken livers.

the fate of democracy
What’s at stake? Just our
free and fair elections which
allow us to rule.

the magic of stir fry
Lots of chopping, a
little peanut oil, 5
minutes in the wok.

the streamer’s goodbye
It is not enough
to cancel a show … Remove
it entirely.

a tough room
The jokes came with few
laughs; an audience of one
remained unamused.

white history vs. black history
One is a complete
fairytale, the other is
the absolute truth.

fair warning
Hey, if you didn’t
want to be in a poem,
don’t date a poet.

the fallible mechanic
It took a few tries
before the car was running
smoothly once again.

the threat of ice
Roads without treatment
become deadly slick with a
slightly frozen rain.

at build-a-bear
Stuffed companions rise
from tables of child labor
and inspiration.

separation anxiety
Don’t stay away too
long, for I shall melt down in
to a wan puddle.

ai shortcuts
Write a love poem
or draw a flaming castle
with unicorn heads.

frozen pizza excavation
It tasted much worse
than normal cardboard pie. We
tossed it in the trash.

tiktok addiction
Flip through videos,
all while consuming junk and
skin and dumb dad jokes.

driving in downtown atlanta at night with google maps
Speed up, slow down, miss
the turn again. Drive in a
bike lane, pray for us.

fleeing north korea
Harrowing journey
through the wilds of China and
other Asian lands.

the birthday weekend
Hours of fun and
cuddles, a band, a movie
and a homemade cake.

happy galentine’s day
Celebrate women
and their grand accomplishments
and their awesomeness!

types of love
Friendly, romantic,
playful, self, familial,
neurotic, endless.

credit card scheme
Sign up and take the
bonus. Wait for another
offer and repeat.

the flat out front
The car with the bum
tire decorated the
quiet one-way street.

the unyielding zipper
Caught menacingly
on the crotch of my black long
johns, foul metal trap.

dreaming of a spring garden
Hoarding seeds, making
compost, envisioning all
the green vegetables.

the looming election
Will enough people
vote? Will they help save our frag-
ile democracy?

constant darkness
Polar oddity:
days and days without any
sunlight. Endless night.

poor things
Emma Stone transforms
from a large toddler into
a Frankenhooker.

barbie
Plastic doll endures
existential crisis that
spurs patriarchy.

oppenheimer
Science nerds convene
in desert to orchestrate
a really big bang.

state vs. state
Abortion seekers,
immigrants and trans youth lurch
across state borders.

the great american ban-a-thon
Libraries become
battleground over books that
possess real knowledge.

burn it down
Oppressive systems
create hardship when making
Hollywood magic.

magic city graffiti
Overpasses and
walls tagged with an uplifting
“You are beautiful.”

1-d chess
The battle of wits
was no more than a skirmish
of teeny IQs.

misfit day for misfit play
Take a day to leap
for joy and celebrate the
wonders of our lives.

the bad book
Written, then stolen,
a manuscript published un-
der false pretenses.

the show must not go on
Dancers take flight. But
after long intermission,
the gig is canceled.

subscription models everywhere
From streaming vids to
heated seats, the world runs on
tokens, more tokens.

airplane mode
Knees aching, eyes dry,
air stagnant, smartphone useless,
and armed with pretzels.

keeping up with the chinese
Rivals for money,
power and population.
Who wins, who loses?

the yummiest bowl
You pick the fixins,
they cook them on a round grill,
you eat the results.

the nasty office sink
Get it together!
Wash the coffee mugs, and put
away the dry ones.

city of the sun
Streets aligned with the
stars and the moon, pointing to
a higher power.

the color purple
Learn to love yourself,
despite all of the hatred,
abuse, jealousy.

designated cook
Rummage through the fridge
and find us something we can
eat for our dinner.

winter’s last gasp
Winds howl, and rain pours.
We shiver from the icy
cold season again.

an ip world
We’ll never have to
come up with original
work ever again.

ai job hunting
“Smart” robot sifts through
online listings to find a
suitable posting.

the dirtiest microwave
All six sides covered
in grease, with a turntable
caked with gunk and grime.

a hole in the wall
Fist-sized openings
display a raw timeline of
anger and violence.

saving in the twenties
The ant squirrels away
money, while the grasshopper
will not retire.

football mania
This bruising sport has
never been more popular
with the whole dang world.

disability rights and you
At any moment,
we can join the ranks of the
disabled. Fight now.

welcome back
The flowers and trees,
birds and animals come out
of hiding for spring.

the dying treadmill
Each day’s journey is
a little shorter, barely
worth putting on shoes.

escape is imminent
We no longer have
to stay within our prisons
of the soul and mind.

10,000 steps
Walk a few miles while
stuck at your desk or out on
an hour-long lunch.

blind spots
Even when we try
to be better people, we
fall short of our goals.

trauma is just a state of mind
Surviving (barely)
unspeakable horror leaves
residual pain.

head to the beach
Pack up the car, and
point it south. The ocean and
cold beer are waiting.

paint it till it’s perfect
It wasn’t quite the
shade of green needed, so we
started all over.

an abundance of gift cards
Save a few bucks here,
a few bucks there. Soon, it adds
up to real money.

creative parking
No ticket or tow
truck will deter me from the
perfect outlaw spot.

bless these food stamps
Getting to eat, one
of the highlights of being
unemployed for months.

the human pillow
Aggressive felines
relax on warm body, not
on ample bedspread.

making paella
The trick is to let
the rice cook for awhile to
get that crisp bottom.

17-syllable tabloid
There’s only so much
drama I can stuff into
three short lines of verse.

let us rejoice
With all the bad that’s
surrounding us, let us be
grateful for good things.

an extra helping of depression
It masks itself in
extra sleep and slowly drains
my vitality.

looming deadline
Pressure’s on, gotta
make sure the project stays on
track till the finish.

the joy of being near
I follow her from
room to room like a lovesick
pup wagging his tail.

fear of an ai world
Mankind obsolete
in a digital hellhole
that we created.

pocket foods
Morsels encased in
pastry — baked, fried or steamed — from
all diverse cultures.

malady compounded
She told the doctor
about her chronic pain. He
said that it’s just pain.

the drivable money pit
A radiator.
The front suspension. Costly
repairs will not stop.

one key short
One stupid lock stands
in the way. Curse these tumblers
keeping us outside.

oversharing unlimited
We have this habit
of sharing the most private
secrets while online.

the flour massacre
They were just trying
to get food when they were gunned
down in the open.

the local rate
When companies pay
less for the same work performed,
that’s a big red flag.

tax the billionaires
No plutocrat I
know opposes it. Send them
the bill right away.

the broken-down washer
We swapped the old one
for the new one, only to
find the new one choked.

unneeded pressure
She found the added
coercion unhelpful and
stressful at the least.

queen of predictions
Gazing into the
crystal ball, she made guesses
about the future.

dessert for days
Enough sweets to feed
an army (or two) looking
for a final course.

tween rockers
Their fledgling fame starts
and ends with a promo pic
on a cookie box.

the war over drugs
It is one thing to
legalize pot, another
to get it started.

the pool is open
Alert the lifeguards
and get out the deck chairs. It’s
time to go swimming.

dei gratia
Working to include
everyone threatens only
those with privilege.

death of a college
Entire campus
swallowed by debt, and students
flee to other schools.

• • •

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Vote 2024: Sample ballots for Jefferson, Shelby County primaries

Wade Kwon — Fri, 01 Mar 2024 03:30:21 +0000

Photo: 7beachbum (CC)

Next Tuesday is Super Tuesday. Are you ready to vote in Alabama?

Voters in 16 states will head to the polls for the primary election. We have the sample ballots for Jefferson and Shelby Counties for the primaries.

Find your polling place/districts.

Check out the top federal, state and county offices up for grabs. And peruse the Alabama Voter Guide 2024, with voting procedures and frequently asked questions.

For easier viewing, you can print, download or zoom to full screen with each ballot.

Vote next Tuesday, with runoffs on April 16.

• • •

Sample ballots for all 67 counties.

• • •

Jefferson County: Democratic ballot

[Mobile version]

Jefferson County: Republican ballot

[Mobile version]

• • •

Shelby County: Democratic ballot

[Mobile version]

Shelby County: Republican ballot

[Mobile version]

• • •

Alabama Voter Guide 2024

[Mobile version]

• • •

Also:

More info on the lone state amendment on the ballot
AP guide to Super Tuesday

• • •

More Vote 2024 coverage.

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 66

Wade Kwon — Sat, 13 Jan 2024 06:00:06 +0000

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parking entrepreneurs
They tow all makes with
enthusiasm and greed.
What a slimy scam.

surprise, it’s wholesome
Click on a cartoon
to discover heartwarming
vibes and pure intent.

love your body
We mourn what shape we
could have been and fret over
the shape we’re in now.

the gift card that never came
Checked the mailbox each
day for a special surprise.
All I got was junk.

matching glasses, matching tennies
We look so cute side
by side in identical
pairs of specs and sneaks.

where did we park again?
I placed the pin in
the map app, but it led us
to an empty lot.

the time to go costume shopping is 2 weeks ago
Getting down to the
crummy outfits and props left
on the empty shelves.

bones all the way down
Scare the kids with a
massive show of creepiness …
12-foot skeleton!

ode to big brother
To the blindsides and
vetoes, the hook-ups and back
doors, and showmances!

writers vs. chatgpt
No way John Henry
could shovel as much crap as
the modern AI.

strikes across america
The labor movement
is reawakening with
vigor and vision.

dishwasher on strike
No more scrubbing pots
and pans, rinsing utensils
or spraying soiled plates.

pivot to video
On the one hand, too
cumbersome and dull. On the
other hand, TikTok.

shiny new fences
Plank by plank they went
up, to hide their hideous
yards from the neighbors.

tricks 2023
Egg their electric
car; ask if treats are keto
friendly; indict them.

the parade of t-shirts
Her love of music
shone brightest in the shirts she
wore to big concerts.

if i should fall down
Call the police, call
the paramedics and get
me some painkillers.

the hits of yesteryear
I remember most
of the songs charted in my
adolescent days.

too weak to declutter
Stuff stays stuff because
the alternative is to
get rid of some stuff.

the chores no mores
You could clean the house,
do laundry, wash dishes. Or
live in grownup filth.

the tracker
Know where your loved ones
are at all times, or until
they turn off the app.

most popular weirdos
They seem to be the
It Couple when it comes to
eclectic groupies.

rocket rest area
North Alabama
along I-65 stands
a Saturn 1B.

halloween 2023
A million Barbies
and Kens in a sea of pink
outfits and cocktails.

we’re all shilling something
Artwork, classes, books,
pimento cheese, necklaces,
essential oils.

first amendment
Freedom of speech, press,
religion, assembly and
call on government.

candy opus
There’s nothing like Trick
or Treating in the wild and
receiving full bars.

the annual sickness
From outta nowhere,
a sore throat and an achy
head to wreck my week.

at the movies with taylor swift
Thirty-foot-tall star
struts and sings with the whole world
singing along, too.

rain at the amphitheater
Waiting for the band,
a storm swoops in to drench us
for a few minutes.

the age of streaming
They used to bundle
channels. Now they bundle shows
and movies. Can’t win.

the power of now
Measuring time in
minutes? Try moments to keep
you present always.

keep your unpopular opinions to yourself
Eastern Europe, the
Middle East, reparations,
abortion and guns.

peak fall
Wrapped in a sweater,
walking through leaves with a hot
mug of fresh cider.

humanitarian pauses
When we stop for a
moment and let people live
without doubt or fear.

not everything has to be a musical
A book to a film
to a sequel to a play
to another film.

women and poc and queer artists
See their movies, buy
their books, hit their concerts and
spend to support them.

those who have seen war
Those who have seen war
clamor for peace and friendship
among our nations.

forgot priming
Move all furniture,
tape all edges, put down tarps,
mix a color, paint.

nose-to-tail dining
A piece of chicken
gnawed to the bone. Very clean
and very Asian.

the interminable job listing
Must have these 20
skills. Five years experience.
For “entry level.”

crumbs everywhere
On the seat and in
the folds of clothing. On the
floor and round the mouth.

more options than time
Do power users
learn all the shortcuts? Or do
they make do with some?

no encores
The house lights came on.
The audience stopped clapping.
The house lights came on.

waiting for the tow truck
Smoke is coming from
the engine. At least nothing
is on fire. Yet.

the right analogy
It can crystallize
a thought or lock in a way
to visualize.

the perception of crime
Are these streets safe? It
all comes down to personal
experiences.

inflation deflation
Shopping at the store
brings shock after sticker shock.
Just trying to eat.

the invisible pedestrians
They walk in the tall
shadows of night, not very
streetwise nor secure.

no strangers at the table
Breaking bread, sharing
wine. All are welcome at this
motley gathering.

unleash the mariah
I just want you … Make
my wish come true. All I want
for Christmas is you.

celebrity memoirs
Before they were some-
body, they were nobody.
Everybody cheer.

hot christmas gifts 2023
Some kitchen device,
bitcoin gift card, custom soap,
bulletproof clothing.

the world is slowly dying
A warming Earth needs
not an infestation of
us callous mammals.

the seventeenth best leader
Sometimes you gotta
lower your standards to put
anyone in charge.

tv as homework
Watch each show with a
notebook to remember all
the names and events.

kicked off tiktok
Stand up for what you
believe and be lumped in with
all the cranks and scum.

life in a food desert
Surrounded by fast
food and gas marts, unable
to buy fresh items.

the cardboard rainbow
Picking paint colors
from dozens of shades of green
and gray leaves me blue.

painting the rec room
Tape down the edges.
Don’t drip on the carpet! Make
sure the paint’s even.

to kill a mockingbird
Small town justice plays
out before a young girl’s eyes
in the dark Deep South.

too many apps
One for banking, one
for texting, one for social
media et al.

modern christmas shopping
Visit stores and sites
or give all your money to
Amazon.com?

i’m not comfortable in this body
The shape I’m in is
unrecognizable to
my earlier self.

do re mi ay ay ay
Forget the hits. Hang
on to novelty songs that
unite us in hate.

mr. fixit
He can take any
household project and turn it
into one less chore.

exercising privilege
I can ignore things
in the news and retreat to
my secret safe space.

apartheid state
Those in power keep
residents under foot through
violent enforcement.

lessons in love
Learning that you are
capable of giving and
receiving true love.

the suspect mold
Becoming tired
from out of nowhere. Having
trouble with breathing.

counting my spoons
Plan for the day: Take
out the trash. Eat leftovers.
Spot clean the bathroom.

setting boundaries
No, Mom, you can’t talk
to me that way. It’s over
the line and too harsh.

the recurring trip to the in-laws
Oh, the terrible
food and mandatory group
pic. Family sucks.

the cooking equation
A question of base
ingredients, prep tools and
time before dinner.

forming habits
Incremental change
brings gradual but steady
improvement each day.

a chance to shine
We all need a chance
to shine, to show off our skills
and benevolence.

what we have left of the year
Not counting weekends
and holidays, no time left
to dillydally.

the darkness and the coldness
Let winter come. Let
it bury us in chilly
nights. Let winter come.

their christmas day tradition
Hit the cineplex
to watch the worst movie while
giggling in horror.

fancy scoops
The chefs conspired
on gourmet ice cream flavors
never seen before.

even kwanzaa and hanukkah
Multicultural
Santa respects and loves all
holiday customs.

joy to this world
I used to have the
holiday spirit. Got to
get that back somehow.

appointments of fate
What planner you pick
determines if your new year
goes well or badly.

the creature in the crawl space
Some animal is
roaming down there and leaving
gifts of poo and stank.

the tiniest country
It sits atop an
offshore platform and boasts a
robust royalty.

banned words, 2023 edition
AI, X, EGOT,
ChatGPT, FYP
and dystopian.

the joy of creation
Words and music, knives
and paintings, whatever you
make really matters.

the party to end all parties
Let’s have one more toast
to celebrate before it’s
2024.

a clean slate
Time to start anew.
New hopes, new dreams and new goals.
The new year awaits.

will there be enough time this year?
For getting enough
exercise, reading books or
planting a garden.

pretend snow
A pretend blizzard
with a pretend fire for
a pretend snuggle.

will it start?
Press the button. No.
Press it again. No. Press. No.
Press. No. Press. Yes. Whew.

crisp $100 bills
Barely used, always
welcome. Peel them off and show
everyone who’s boss.

life in a war zone
Crowding in basements,
feeling the booms of shelling,
too aware of death.

gift card jubilee
Where to eat and drink,
to shop and spend this heaping
virtual bounty.

mom in the wild
Nurtures, but also
accuses. Sometimes friendly
but also prickly.

kid chefs
A kitchen alive
with activity as they
whip up gourmet meals.

midlife crisis van trip
Gone for 3 days to
find himself. Only to come
back still douchey.

escape with fiction
Enough self help! She
wants to lose herself in a
mystery romance.

the helper
Issuing gentle
reminders, keeping eyes on
the clock, pitching in.

those darn personality tests
They purport to show
our true selves. But they distort
our complex nature.

• • •

Read more Wade’s 101.

Read more poetry at Wade’s Daily Haiku.

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Happy 2024!

Wade Kwon — Mon, 01 Jan 2024 06:00:37 +0000

Photo: Birmingham Public Library (CC)

Happy New Year! Have a terrific and radiant 2024.

Merry Christmas!

Wade Kwon — Mon, 25 Dec 2023 06:00:29 +0000

Video: “All I Want for Christmas …”

Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wade Kwon — Thu, 23 Nov 2023 06:00:22 +0000

Video: Comedian Leslie Jones saves your Thanksgiving
from family quarrels.

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! Enjoy this clip from “The Daily Show.”

Happy Veterans Day!

Wade Kwon — Sat, 11 Nov 2023 06:00:54 +0000

Video: Livestream of the 2023 National Veterans Day parade

America’s biggest parade is back, and the route is a little bit different this year.

The 2023 National Veterans Day parade starts at 1 p.m. downtown and runs till 4:30 p.m. The video livestream above will have coverage of the event starting at 1:30 p.m.

Map: National Veterans Day parade route

Happy Halloween!

Wade Kwon — Tue, 31 Oct 2023 05:00:34 +0000

Video: A SAG strike-friendly holiday.

Happy Halloween!

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 65

Wade Kwon — Wed, 04 Oct 2023 05:00:06 +0000

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not-so-temporary classrooms
Learning in trailers,
an age-old tradition for
overcrowded schools.

the haunted bathroom
The toilet would flush
by itself, because ghosts need
to relieve themselves.

battle of the deplorables
They jabbed in comment
sections and heaped insults on
those they found too “woke.”

rip tina turner
She prowled the stage as
the queen of rock ‘n’ roll no
matter the decade.

the morning pledge
Never too soon to
get the school children voicing
patriotism.

say what, grandma?
She asked if I knew
how to speak the language; I
just shook my head no.

ai ex machina
Dost thou require
sustenance? ERROR ERROR
ARCHAIC LANGUAGE

the tale of the billionaire submarine
Suddenly, their steel
coffin implodes over the
briny ocean floor.

gathering of the neighborhood
They came with chairs and
dishes to celebrate and
watch the fireworks.

mongolian barbecue explained
The chefs take your bowl
of fixins and fry it on
a circular grill.

the summer of leisure
Watch bonfires, play
video games, sleep in and
eat whatever’s there.

plans for the future
Higher learning or
trade school? Move out or stay home?
Get job or study?

flirting with menus
He would text her the
link to restaurants and wait
for her decision.

the ungrateful undead
Elderly dad huffs
at daughter, the volunteer
caregiver for years.

sweat everywhere
On the forehead and
chest, in the pits and butt crack,
dripping dripping wet.

the fallen watermelon
The gourd crashed into
the kitchen floor, leaving chunks
of red everywhere.

punching up, punching down
One is funny, and
the other is scoring laughs
without dignity.

the job no one wanted
They went back and forth,
disagreeing over who
was more qualified.

the alumni gathering
They got off Facebook
long enough to exchange toasts
and share old stories.

i have only my imagination
My brain takes me to
crazy situations and
exotic places.

barry
Hitman turned actor
discovers himself onstage
and can knock ’em dead.

bye bye, braces
Metal contraption
making teeth straighter comes off
with nary a scratch.

party math
Number of guests times
units of food divided
by flavor appeal.

darkest timeline
Doomscrolling poisoned
by suggested followers,
dumb posts, sundry ads.

enshittification of the internet
Build a great product,
then let it rot as they hone
in on short-term gains.

writers’ strike, day 81
Writers have always
struggled with getting fair pay
for all they create.

the struggle to find meaningful work
The job listings run
together in a blur of
keywords and must-haves.

escape to nashville
Head down to Broadway
and check out honky-tonks with
their blaring music.

prescription hassles
Tried mailing it and
faxing it and calling it
in. Just want my drugs.

finding scapegoats
We can’t blame ourselves.
The responsibility
goes to another.

greedflation
When they raise prices
just because they can, it’s a
struggle to get by.

cop city
A police training
site that the people don’t want
in their wooded lot.

wither the absurdist?
We’ll always need a
dose of comedy in some
unexpected ways.

what is the nature of creativity?
Imitation or
originality? Where
does it all come from?

the spend-the-night bag
Pajamas, mouth guard,
book and saline solution
for a night from home.

fifty years of hip hop
Bronx born with rapping,
DJing, graffiti and
break dancing in one.

there’s a better poem here somewhere
First draft needs a lot
of revision to make it
to its final draft.

global boiling
Last month will be the
hottest month ever until
this month breaks records.

hottest trend of the summer
AC repairman
sweats it out each house call as
he brings back coolness.

barbecue wings on wheels
Rolling through the town
to bring lunch options to some
hungry office folk.

who still uses cash?
Cash is king, except
dealing with those coins and bills
ain’t worth the hassle.

who still uses checks?
Let me go find my
checkbook and a pen and write
out the transaction.

roadtrip to atlanta
Watch the clock so we
can time our arrival to
avoid rush hour.

summer sleep schedule
The sheer delights of
staying up late and rising
whenever you choose.

the hottest auditorium
Movie fans sweat it
out for 2 hours in a
room without AC.

school will never be the same again
Who needs thinking when
you have AI to do your
homework in a blink?

the kidnapping that wasn’t
She claimed to see a
baby on the road and led
officers astray.

the unintended consequences
Roe v. Wade is dead,
as are women who have been
denied basic care.

reading round the clock
Plenty of time for
binging and doomscrolling, need
to make time for books.

the comedian’s decline
The punchlines need to
be punchier, lest the laughs
become scantier.

bojack horseman
Former sitcom star
spends his days aimlessly drunk
and melancholy.

even worse than the court of public opinion
The court of public
opinion in the age of
social media.

walking for peace
They traveled from North
to South Korea through the
DMZ gauntlet.

the historymakers
Black notables grant
interviews about their lives
for posterity.

pick a direction!
They agonized for
weeks about the new project.
Deciding was tough.

the external lung
Strap your face into
the silent contraption that
breathes life into sleep.

mostly couples goofing around
A strange assortment
of TikToks and Reels that bring
smiles and make your day.

fun around the pool
Float around with friends,
sipping coladas, swatting
insects, keeping cool.

smoke gets in your eyes
Gas crisis: We choke
on bad air from fires a
continent away.

long distance affair
She ran off to be
with her married lover, just
to end up alone.

a life beyond numbers
Up until this point,
he depended on stats to
manage him daily.

the sleep clinic
Take a bed, get wired
up and go to sleep. In the
morning, some answers.

the goat of mountain brook
Billy scampered to
unknown streets, finding ways to
escape his captors.

ads are everywhere
A flower blossoms.
Try new Metamucil Plus.
The petals shine bright.

an almost concert
The show must go on,
except when the artist is
too sick to perform.

down with patriarchy
Let men run the world,
they said. What could possibly
go awry, they said.

summer’s end
Pack up the swimsuits,
put away the sunblock, get
ready for the fall.

the day the ac died
Sob in horror as
the house transforms into a
gigantic oven.

a billionaire’s whims
Indulge in petty
payback while desperately
trying to seem cool.

mercury northward
Next year, we’ll look back
on this summer as coolest
one in our lifetimes.

kickin’ ass for the working class
Join together and
fight the greedy CEOs
for a bigger slice.

drive-through and through
The big revamp leads
to a restaurant with more
cars, fewer diners.

foodie fantasy
I want to try all
the restaurants, if I can
find them when open.

somebody hates these cans
These cans are begging
to be organized, not just
left there on some shelf.

on forgetfulness
I seem to have lost
track of recent memories,
the scope I don’t know.

have you tried not socializing?
We could go out, or
spend the evening quietly
in our fine jammies.

could’ve sworn it was a parking lot
Before anyone
realized it, a surprise
Waffle House popped up.

did we win the war on terror?
Seems like we gave the
terrorists more reasons to
fight back everywhere.

analysis paralysis
Too many choices
leaves us unable to pick
one among the crowd.

feeling blah
Depression sometimes
lurks as demotivation
to do anything.

painting in the warehouse
A sweaty, dusty
task turning black to white in
several even coats.

on the 60th
Addie Mae, Carole,
Cynthia and Denise, may
they rest in power.

foot-in-mouth disease
Without trying, he
managed to insult most of
the staff. What a dolt.

four indictments
Such is the state of
our democracy when one
leader’s out on bail.

the hidden weight
She refused to step
on a scale, the tyranny
of numbers ended.

atomic nightmare
Unleashing the bomb
has brought us to the brink of
nuclear holocaust.

a day at the cineplex
Warm popcorn and cold
soda, heated seats and fun
fans. Roll the movies!

the overnight guests
They need a respite
from the stuffy abode and
myriad of pets.

lo–fi hip–hop beats to study/relax to
Late into the night,
he pored over his textbooks
looking for answers.

fall is coming
Fall is coming. Fall
is here. Fall is a blessing
each and every year.

gathering in nashville
Four friends hit the town
for musical adventures
and grand fellowship.

birthday boy
He brought his buddies
to the pool where they could swim,
splash and celebrate.

the yelling kind
Screaming rage sets off
my anxiety, a fear
reaction triggered.

withering inspiration
Someday, the muse will
stop dropping by and all things
creative will die.

game show dreams
Let me guess the price
of a waterbed, so I
can win on TV.

people who need church the most
“Jesus was a dang
lib’rul, needs to toughen up
against illegals.”

double duty
Why wash the dishes
before sticking them in the
dishwasher? No clue.

the awful waffle
Small booths and semi-
filthy bar await diners
starving for vittles.

ova here
Hard boiled, over
easy, scrambled, hollandaise,
omelette and just raw.

senior discount
The older you are,
the more you can save by just
being not dead yet.

what is a cult?
A charismatic
leader working on raising
funds and brainwashing.

• • •

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Read more poetry at Wade’s Daily Haiku.

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Happy Labor Day!

Wade Kwon — Mon, 04 Sep 2023 05:00:19 +0000

Video: Why we celebrate Labor Day

Happy Labor Day! The U.S. Department of Labor put together this video on the importance of workers.