Seth Godin opened a recent blog post with this line: One of us is wrong, and its not me.

Isn’t this the way every single conflict begins?

One of us is in the way, one of us needs to step aside, and its not me.

James, the brother of Jesus, explains the source of conflict this way:

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. James 4:1–2, NIV

Why do we fight? Because we are not getting what we want. Someone else always seems to be standing in our way.

This is one reason it’s so difficult to conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel by standing together as one.

We all have our own interests, agendas and ambitions. Eventually we bump into each other heading in opposite directions. We face off. We stare each other down. We make a case for why the other person should step aside.

We trot out our status: Do you know who I am?

We cite our accomplishments: Do you know what I’ve done for this church, for this organization, for this company?

We argue for our own importance: Don’t you realize my project is more important than yours?

On its best days, church is a beautiful community in which we love each other and share fellowship in Christ. On its worst days, church can be a series of standoffs, during which we threaten to run over anyone who gets in our way.

There’s a bit of a standoff in developing in Philippi. Two women, Euodia and Synteche, are in the early stages of staring each other down (4:2). Others in the church may be taking sides.

Paul implores his friends to stand together as one (1:27-30), rather than facing off against each other. Then he tells them how to avoid the kind of conflict that can destroy a church, a team, a family, or a business.

Brace yourself, because Paul is about to give us the secret to getting along with each other. What you’re about to read is revolutionary.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3–4, NIV

That’s his secret? Surely not. This is standard, Christian boilerplate, behavioral language. No revolution to see here.

Don’t write off his advice just yet. This is one of those times when familiarity with a passage or concept keeps us from seeing how radical Paul’s instructions would have sounded to his original audience.

We think of humility as the ultimate of Christian virtues, an ideal we aspire to, but the ancients scorned humility as a vice. They considered it a sign of weakness.

In the Greco-Roman world, it was the “hero” who was admired. A hero was someone who overcame obstacles and defeated his enemies on the way to greatness! He shaped the world around him into his image by sheer force of will. Heroes were lavished with status, honor and recognition.

The Romans based everything on status and honor. Society was a ladder. The goal was to climb to the top of it, by any means possible. It made for a brutal, competitive culture. Imagine living in a world where everyone around you is obsessed with status. (I know it’s difficult, but try.)

In Who is This Man?, John Ortberg summarizes the different ways in which those living in the Roman Empire displayed their status at different stations up and down the social ladder.

Caesar was at the top of the ladder. He was the ultimate hero, set apart from everyone else. He used his influence, among other things, to popularize a hideous haircut. Just below Caesar were the Senators. The Equestrians were below the Senators. They got their name from being able to afford horses for military affairs. Back then, people apparently considered your mode of transportation to be a status symbol. The Decurians took their place on the ladder just below the Equestrians. They held government and priestly offices.

These classes formed the top 2% of the Roman Empire. They flew first class. The other 98% were stuck back in coach. The cultural elite referred to them as “the rabble.” The rabble had its own status categories as well.

At the top of their section of the ladder were the Roman citizens. They enjoyed certain legal protections and rights. For example, a Roman citizen could never be crucified, but they could be decapitated or burned alive. All three forms of punishment were equally deadly, but options two and three were considered to be less shameful than crucifixion. Below the citizens were the Freedmen. They were ex-slaves. While they didn’t have the same rights as citizens, they enjoyed freedom not known to slaves. At the very bottom of the ladder, were the slaves. They had no rights, no freedom, no status whatsoever. Crucifixion was reserved for slaves. It was informally known as the “slave’s punishment.”

According to Ortberg, every aspect of Roman life, from clothing to occupation to seating at parties, was a means to communicate status. Freedmen wore a special cap to indicate they were no longer slaves. Male citizens wore togas. Senators decorated their toga with a purple stripe. Equestrians couldn’t wear the stripe, but they were allowed to stitch a logo of a mallet swinging rider on a horse on the front of their toga (Don’t fact check this). The most honorable occupation was to own vast tracts of land and have slaves work on it. The elite never did manual labor. At private parties, guests were seated according to their social status. Hosts would sometimes invite guests of inferior rank just to highlight their own status. If you were a guest of inferior rank, you might be served inferior food to reinforce your inferiority.

So when Paul says to his friends in Philippi, “in humility consider others better than yourselves.” He’s asking them to set aside everything they’ve been taught about how their society is ordered. He’s telling them to do the exact opposite of what has been ingrained in them regarding both public and private behavior.

Instead of facing off against each other and insisting you get your way, give up your status and treat others as if they’re more important than you are.

This is crazy talk. This is not the way their world worked. He’s inviting them to commit social suicide. He better have a pretty good rationale for asking them to behave in such a scandalous way.

And he does.

(To be continued)

In Philippians 2:1-2, Paul encourages his friends in Philippi to remain united with each other by appealing to the unity they enjoy with Christ.

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.” (Philippians 2:1–2, NIV)

The unity of believers is one of the core teachings of the faith passed down to us in the writings of the New Testament. Unity is a doctrine and should be taken just as seriously as baptism, communion and justification by faith. If Jesus saves, if Jesus forgives, if Jesus renews, then Jesus also unifies his followers. We can’t be one with Jesus and not be one with each other. See why the progress of the gospel depends on Christians standing together as one?

But unity is also complicated and difficult. If it were simple and easy, Paul wouldn’t have needed to address it in so many of his letters.

So let me offer a few clarifications on the nature and limits of the unity of believers.

First, as important as unity is, it is not the the ultimate goal of the church. Making Christ known, contending for the faith of the gospel is the ultimate goal. The mission of the church and the unity of believers are connected, but the unity of believers serves the mission of God, not the other way around.

Unity is not always positive. The Nazis were unified for a disastrous season of history. Plenty of armies, cults, and even churches have demonstrated the downside of unity, by showing how much damage people can do when they unify around the wrong the things and head off in the wrong direction.

When disconnected from the mission of God, unity becomes an idol. Something Christians can rally around to resist God’s call to keep moving forward into his new world. How many churches use unity as an excuse to minimize change, avoid risk, and maintain the status quo? We see the early church struggling to manage this tension in Acts 15 when church leaders discern how to maintain the unity of the church without hampering the mission to the Gentiles.

Second, unity is not uniformity of thought.

If all Christians have to agree with each other on everything to be unified, we have no shot of conducting ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel. We might as well stop trying.

I recently saw a blog post listing things Christians don’t have to agree on in order to be unified. What was on the list?

I don’t remember.

I didn’t agree with it.

I thought it could have been much longer.

I wasn’t the only one who disagreed. There was lots of push back. Most seemed to think the list was too long. That’s okay. Christians don’t have to agree on the list of the things they don’t have to agree on in order to be unified, in order to be unified. (You may need to read that last sentence several times before it makes sense. I did, and I wrote it. I told you unity can be complicated.)

Depending on your religious heritage, this may be a challenging concept. Some of us were raised believing Christian unity was based on everyone in the church agreeing on a long list of beliefs, inferences and interpretations. The longer the list, the smaller the church

In Philippians 2:1-2, when Paul says to be like-minded or to be of one mind, he’s not saying we should share the same brain or only unite with those who see things exactly as we do. He’s saying followers of Christ should have the same mindset, the same focus, the same goal, which he will describe in Philippians 2:3-11.

Even Paul allows for his friends in Philippi to see things differently than he does.

“All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.” (Philippians 3:15, NIV)

After making his case, Paul leaves room for disagreement. Its not his job to make sure everyone thinks the same way he does. He trusts God to show others what others they need to know, when they need to know it.

Sometimes the best way to preserve unity is to stop talking about our disagreements and instead wait for God to show you want you need to see, while trusting he’ll keep showing me what I need to see. If someday God brings us to agreement, then the church flourishes and the gospel wins. When we keep forcing our positions on each other, trying to win an argument, the church suffers and the gospel loses.

Third, unity is not the absence of diversity.

Remember the three-fold friendship in Christ diagram?

Because we are united with Christ (1), we are united with each other (2).

One of the reasons unity is such a challenge is that Christ draws us into a friendship with people whom we would otherwise never be friends with. Christian unity grows out of pre-existing diversity. Sometimes the only thing Christian friends have in common is Christ. And that is enough. Our friendship in Christ, created by the gospel, overcomes the diversity that would otherwise divide us.

And that’s why, to pick up a thread from a previous post, church reminds me of Zombies.

Christ-followers have been drawn together from diverse racial, economic, social, religious, political and philosophical backgrounds. We are held together by the one thing we have in common: our salvation in Christ. We believe our survival depends on Jesus.

We are surrounded by forces of darkness, which seek to destroy our humanity and turn us into the walking dead. Having been saved and united by Christ, we have to stick together.

Because we live in a culture that will eat us alive if we don’t.

Here’s an early version of the prayer I wrote for the occasion. (If you’re not from Texas some of the references below may not make much sense. Others may be offensive. My apologies either way.)

After several rewrites, the prayer I prayed today was a bit different from what you’re about to read. It’s posted in a comment below.

Our Father in Heaven,
And speaking of heaven, we thank you for the great state of Texas.
You gave shape to our state when you dug the paths of the Rio Grande and the Red and Sabine Rivers with the tip of your mighty finger.
We shudder to think how without these rivers, we might have turned out as square as Wyoming or heaven forbid, Colorado.
(Although we are thankful for the mighty river of the same name and the many lakes, reservoirs, and rice paddies it sustains.)

Forgive us of our many sins.
Forgive us when we foolishly move from our homeland to live among a people who believe a state income tax is fair and just.
Forgive us when we mow down bluebonnets in our backyard because we think no one is watching.
Forgive us when we “accidentally” shoot a mockingbird with the BB gun our dad gave us for our tenth birthday.

Help us to remember the Alamo, because shamefully, unless one lives in San Antonio, it’s easier to forget than one might think.
Eradicate from within our borders anyone who believes pulled pork is authentic Texas BBQ.
Lead us not into Oklahoma or Arkansas, and only briefly into Louisiana for cajun food.

And deliver us from Jerry Jones.

Clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose.
Texas forever.
Amen

Here are nine observations I shared about the life changing environment at a typical CrossFit gym. Let the reader discern applications for creating life changing environments in churches.

1. CrossFit creates compelling “before” and “after” photos. Physical transformation is a normal occurrence in a CrossFit gym. CrossFit trainers are confident the program works and assume something is wrong when it doesn’t.

2. CrossFit provides a clear, practical definition of physical fitness. Crossfit trainers know what kind of athletes they are hoping to produce and they program accordingly. Exercises that do not contribute to functional fitness are ruthlessly eliminated.

3. CrossFit motivates by measuring progress. How do you know if you’re getting more fit? The numbers don’t lie. CrossFitter’s track progress, pursue milestones, and celebrate their improvement.

4. CrossFit offers a personalized training program. Trainers help athletes identify their strengths and weaknesses and then provide additional programming for improving weaknesses.

5. CrossFit is never boring. CrossFit programming consists of multiple exercises combined in an endless variety of ways. Crossfitter’s rarely do the same workout twice in a row. This not only keeps the training fresh, it also ensures that athletes can’t hide from their weaknesses. (See #4)

6. Crossfit makes it possible for anyone to participate. Workouts are scaled according to each athlete’s level of fitness. This creates an accepting environment in which everyone is welcome.

7. CrossFit uses the power of community to nudge us out of our comfort zones. CrossFit is too hard to do alone. CrossFitters are surprised at how much suffering they can endure when surrounded by others who are also suffering.

8. CrossFit embraces the “suck” factor. CrossFit is hard. So what? CrossFittters don’t try to make CrossFit sound easier than it really is in order to entice their friends to join them.

9. CrossFit emphasizes identity over behavior. CrossFit awakens the athlete within. When people see themselves as athletes, they start thinking, eating, sleeping, and training like athletes. A new identity leads to changed behavior.

Which of these strikes you as being the most applicable to your church environment?

Here’s the thing about The Walking Dead: it’s not about the zombies. You start watching for the zombies, but they’re not why you keep watching. The Walking Dead is really about the survivors.

It’s the story of a group of people…living in a world gone mad…surrounded by mindless creatures…whose sole purpose is to consume everything in sight.

Are we still talking about a TV show?

One of most important lessons from The Walking Dead, besides never go walking in the woods without a machete, is that you cannot survive the Zombie Apocalypse by yourself. Survivors have to stick together. This is not always easy, because the only thing most survivors have in common is they’re not zombies.

They have to overcome tremendous racial, cultural and intellectual diversity in order to stay together. But they learn to do it, because they live in a world that will eat them alive if they don’t.

Which brings me back to what Paul says to his friends in Philippi who are facing external opposition, while also struggling to get along with each other.

“Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.” (Philippians 1:27–30, NIV)

He instructs them to live in “a manner worthy of the gospel.” Remember, Paul is obsessed with the progress of the gospel. He knows nothing can frustrate the progress of the gospel more than when followers of Jesus don’t get along with each other or when they treat each other in unloving ways.

In John 13:35, Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

The opposite is also true. When Christians fail to love each other, outsiders to the faith have a hard time connecting the dots between Jesus and his followers.

In his commentary on Philippians, Gordon Fee says, “The gospel is all about reconciliation, and unreconciled people do not advertise it well.”

Paul describes conduct in a manner worthy of the gospel as standing firm, together, as one. He encourages them to function as one unit in the midst of a contest or battle.

His language brings to mind the images of a Greek Phalanx or Roman Testudo, both tightly grouped military formations in which soldiers moved together as one man. The Spartans used the Phalanx with great success in 300 and the Uruk-hai employed the Testudo to storm the gate of Helm’s Deep in The Two Towers.

While I can’t prove this is the image Paul had in mind when he wrote this passage, it’s not a stretch to assume that since Philippi was a military colony in Macedonia, where the Phalanx was made famous, the Philippians might make this connection.

These formations were only as strong as the soldier’s ability to stick together. As Ben Franklin said in a different context, “We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”

In verse 28, Paul says that standing together as one is a sign to your opponents that you will be saved, and that your opponents will be destroyed. They are on the wrong side of history. This kind of language makes me uncomfortable. It challenges my inclusive sensibilities. It also reminds me that when Paul wrote this letter, he and his friends in Philippi belonged to a minority suffering at the hands of a powerful majority.

The greatest power they had at their disposal was unwavering courage and unity in the face of opposition. When Christ-followers stand together as one, we put the truth of the gospel on display for our neighbors.

One writer describes the church as God’s shop window. What outsiders, skeptics, and seekers see the church doing in the window, helps them decide if they will come into God’s shop and take a closer look at the gospel.

One of the most compelling arguments for the truth of the gospel is a group of people treating each other as if they believe it’s true. Which is just another way of saying: Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel, by standing together as one.

The progress of the gospel depends on it.

So does our survival.

(To Be Continued)

And I never let the facts get in the way of good story.

Where he’s in prison doesn’t really matter. Prison wasn’t a pleasant place to be, no matter what city he was in. What’s important is Paul’s attitude toward his imprisonment. His letter reveals fascinating insights into Paul’s perspective on prison, pain, suffering, death, and the meaning of life.

You know, the little things.

As we’re about to see, even when he’s suffering and possibly facing death, Paul never loses sight of his primary mission in life. Paul is obsessed, yes obsessed, with the progress of the gospel. He wants to see the good news of Jesus spread across the Roman Empire and sink deep into the the churches he’s already helped start.

In Philippians 1:12-26, Paul makes it clear that what really matters to him is making Christ known.

“Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.” (Philippians 1:12–14, NIV)

He says making Christ known is more important than his freedom.

His imprisonment has advanced the gospel, both in and outside of prison.

Several of his friends in Philippi know firsthand how Paul’s imprisonment can open the door to share the good news of Jesus. Acts 16:23-34 tells the story of Paul’s time in jail in Philippi. He and Silas, his traveling companion, are praying and singing in the middle of night, when an earthquake breaks their chains and opens all the doors in the jail. The jailer, thinking all of his prisoners have escaped, is about to kill himself when Paul stops him and tells him they are all still present and accounted for.

The jailer asks Paul, “What must I do to be saved?”

Paul says, “I thought you’d never ask.”

He tells the jailer the story of Jesus, and in the middle of the night, the jailer and his entire family are baptized. They become part of the church in Philippi. Which means they were probably there to hear Paul’s letter read out loud. I wonder if they said “amen” when Paul says his imprisonment has advanced the gospel?

His friends in Philippi understand better than anyone how Paul is a gospel opportunist.

Set Paul free and he’ll find a crowd and start preaching.

Put him in prison and he’ll make the most of a captive audience and tell his cellmates about Jesus.

Chain him to a guard and he’ll lead his captor to Christ.

Give him a pen and paper and he’ll write a letter about Jesus.

Paul sees every experience, every encounter, every conversation as an opportunity to tell the story of Jesus.

He doesn’t even have to fully agree with others who are also telling the story.

“It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.” (Philippians 1:15–17, NIV)

Some of Paul’s competitors, those who don’t approve of everything Paul teaches, have discovered that by preaching Christ on the outside they can cause trouble for Paul on the inside. I wish we had more details about who these people were and why they were so determined to make things hard for Paul. Much like the mystery of where Paul was when he wrote this letter, chasing down the identity of his rivals can actually distract us from larger point, which Paul summarizes in the next verse.

“But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice,” (Philippians 1:18, NIV)

He says making Christ known is more important than the motives of those who are preaching.

But wait! There’s more!

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.” (Philippians 1:18–26, NIV)

Paul also says making Christ known is important than his preferences about life and death.

Paul believes there’s a chance he’s not going to survive his imprisonment. This is not the first time. He has had a number of near death experiences throughout his ministry (See 2 Corinthians 1:8-10).

He says if he lives, he can continue to serve Christ and have a fruitful ministry. But if he dies, then he gains everything. because finally get to go and be with Jesus. He confesses to his friends the difficulty in choosing between the two. Should I stay or should I go?

(Little known fact: this passage is the inspiration behind The Clash’s hit song of the same title. Just because I can’t cite a source for this revelation doesn’t mean it’s not true. Okay, maybe it means exactly that. Or maybe not. I’ll let you decide. But don’t waste too much time on Google fact-checking me on this one.)

Ultimately, Paul believes it will be better for his friends Philippi if he lives. That way he can continue to help them progress in their faith. Paul is willing to set aside his preference to go and be with Jesus for their benefit. Because what really matters to Paul is the progress of the gospel in those he loves.

We all have a filter through which we view our circumstances and interpret our experiences.

An entrepreneur might view an event through the filter of profitability and ask the question: How can I use this expand my business or sell more product?

A general might view an event through the filter of his battle plan and ask: How can I use this to exploit my adversary’s weakness?

A teacher might view an event through the filter of teachable moments and ask: How can I use this to teach an important lesson?

A lawyer might view an event through the filter reducing a clients liability and ask: How can I use this to log a few more billable hours?

A preacher might view an event through filter of a sermon illustration and ask: How can I turn this into a funny story to keep people from falling asleep during my sermons? (There’s no “might” to it. Preachers are always doing this. If I were in a plane that was about to crash, I’d be jotting down notes on how to fit the story into my next sermon.)

What’s your filter?

Paul viewed every event through the filter of making Christ known.

The fundamental question behind everything he writes in 1:12-26 is: How can God use my circumstances to make Christ known?

Paul wants his friends in Philippi to start asking this question of their circumstances as well. Everyone who follows Christ is qualified to ask this question. But asking it doesn’t come naturally. It’s a skill we have develop. A habit we have to form.

Imagine the difference this question can me in our attitudes toward a variety of life experiences, both positive and negative?

How can God use my success, my victory, my breakthrough to make Christ known?

How can God use my pain, my failure, my suffering, my diagnosis, my disaster to make Christ known?

What would happen if you started asking this question?

I dare you to start asking it and find out.

Even if you’re not a huge college basketball fan, you likely recognize the two most enduring images from that game. The first is Lorenzo Charles dunking Dereck Whittenburg’s air ball at the buzzer to give NC State the victory. The second is NC State’s coach, Jim Valvano, running around the court after the game, desperately looking for someone to hug.

Hanging over every piece of footage of Valvano (Jimmy V), the charismatic coach and compelling public speaker, is the knowledge that he would die of cancer a decade later at the age of 47. But not before challenging the sports world to enlist in the battle against cancer. This led to the formation of the Jimmy V Foundation, which over the past twenty years, has raised over 100 million dollars for cancer research.

In the documentary, Coach Mike Krzyzewski (Coach K), of Duke University and good friend of Jimmy V, reflects on the connection between the championship and the cancer. He describes how NC State’s miracle win gave Jimmy V celebrity status, and thus a platform, from which to lead the fight against cancer ten years later. Jimmy V’s victory in 1983 prepared the sports world to pay closer attention to his suffering in 1993.

An insightful observation from Coach K.

Before Duke played Louisville in this year’s NCAA tournament, Coach K complimented the way Rick Pitino responded when the Kentucky team he was coaching in 1992 suffered a heartbreaking loss to Duke on a last second shot by Christian Laettner. Coach K went on to say it’s usually the person who loses a close game who has the greatest opportunity to shine, because we can learn more about a person from how he responds to adversity and disappointment than from how he responds to success.

Another insightful observation from Coach K. He’s kinda smart isn’t he? He just might amount to something someday.

Actually, Coach K’s perspective on adversity is similar to the way Paul talks about his difficult experiences in his letters collected in the New Testament. His letter to his friends in Philippi is a great example.

One of the skills he wants to impart to the Christians in Philippi is the ability to see God at work in the midst of difficult circumstances, to see adversity as an opportunity to shine for Christ and glorify God.

This may be one of the most important skills a Christ-follower can acquire and develop. That we’ll face adversity is not in question. What is up for grabs, is how we’ll respond to it when we do.

Perhaps Paul’s words from prison can help us get ready.

“Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.” (Philippians 1:12, NIV)

In my next post, I’ll walk us through what he has to say in the verses that follow.

In future posts, we’ll dig into the details of what Paul SAYS in his letter to his friends in Philippi. In this post, let’s focus what he’s DOING by writing the letter in the first place.

What he’s doing is showing us how Christian friendship works.

Friends help each other in their time of need. So the Philippians send Paul some help while he’s in prison.

Friends also encourage and challenge and hold each other accountable for their behavior.

Because there are a number of things friend don’t let friends do.

Friends don’t let friends:

Drink and drive.

Drive and text.

Drink and text or tweet or update their facebook page.

Get bicep implants.

Of a certain age wear spandex.

Forward emails with pictures of cats doing annoyingly cute things.

Buy sushi at a gas station (or a bait stand).

Take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.

Watch Saved By The Bell reruns.

If you don’t know what some of these things are, that’s good news. It means you’ve got some great friends who aren’t letting you embarrass yourself.

Friends don’t let friends split a church over Chicken Joe’s mohawk.

Friends don’t let friends spend their time and energy pursuing goals that in the grand scheme of things don’t really matter.

Friends don’t let friends waste their lives.

What do friends do for each other?

Based on what Paul does in Philippians we can say that:

Friends pray for each other.

Friends help each other stay focused on what really matters.

Friends set a positive example for each other.

Friends keep pointing each other to Christ, the third party in their friendship.

Friends remind each other that God will finish the good work he began in them.

In his book Vital Friends, Tom Rath describes his work on a research project designed to answer the question: Why do some people emerge from homelessness and recover and others do not?

During the course of his research, Rath interviewed a homeless man named Roger.

At age 30, Roger was living a nice life. He had a great job, one house, two cars, one wife and two kids. Several years later, self-destructive behavior left Roger without a job, a family, a home and without any friends.

During the interview, Rath asked Roger, “Who expects you to be somebody?”

Roger answered, “I don’t think anyone does anymore.”

Rath also tells about his interview with Maggie.

Maggie grew up in a terrible home environment and was homeless at age 16. Six years later, she got off the streets, got a job, and started working toward a college degree. A decade later, she was an executive at a financial services company and doing quite well for herself. She was happily married with two kids and a sizeable network of friends.

Rath asked Maggie the same question as Roger.

“Who expects you to be somebody?”

Without having to think about it Maggie said, “Jessica.”

Jessica was the volunteer who befriended Maggie in a homeless shelter and helped her get her first job.

One conclusion Rath drew from his research was that men and women who had been homeless for decades all had one thing in common: They couldn’t name a friend who expected them to be somebody.

Who expects you to be somebody?

If you were to ask the Christians in Philippi, they’d say “Paul expects us to be somebody. You should see the letter he wrote us.”

If you were to ask Paul, he could name plenty of people from his vast network, but he might say, “My friends in Philippi expect me to be somebody. They always send help when I’m in need.”

Who expects you to be somebody?

God does, that’s why he began a good work in you.

Who else can you name? Who else is a part of your three-way friendship in Christ?

Who else is working with God to help you be somebody?

Working together with God and our other friends, we can help each other live lives that really matter.

Because that’s what friends do.

Paul is in prison and his friends in Philippi send Epaphroditus, along with some money, to help Paul in his time of need.

Epaphroditus also brings Paul news about how the church in Philippi is doing. Based on what Paul says in Philippians, we can get a pretty good idea of what that news was.

1. His friends in Philippi are facing opposition. Some of their neighbors consider the story of a resurrected Jewish Messiah to be more of a threat to their way of life than good news. So in some way, the Christians in Philippi are suffering for their faith.

2. A couple of influential women in the church—Euodia and Synteche—are at odds with each other. Their disagreement threatens the unity of the church (See Philippians 4:2).

Paul responds to this news by writing his partners in the gospel a letter of encouragement. In the opening verses (1:3-8), he expresses his love for them, he tells him he prays for them regularly, and he declares his confidence that God is still working in their lives. Their present difficulties are not a sign that God has abandoned them. God will finish the good work God began when he opened Lydia’s heart to the gospel by the river.

Having already mentioned prayer in verse 4, he returns to the topic in verse 9 and actually spells out the content of his prayer for them.

Years ago I saw a cartoon depicting a pastor greeting his church after the gathering.

He says, “Oh no, here comes Bertha. I told her I would be praying for her.” He looks toward the heavens and says, “Dear God, please be with Bertha.” In the next frame he’s shaking hands with a woman and saying, “Hi Bertha! How you doing? Been praying for you!”

That’s not the way Paul operates. When he says he’s praying for you, he actually prays for you. He’ll even tell you the specifics of his prayer.

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9–11, NIV)

He prays for their love to overflow into knowledge and understanding. No squishy feelings or gooey emotions here. For Paul, love is related to wisdom. Grow in love and you’ll grow in wisdom. The reason he wants them to grow in these areas is so they’ll be able to “discern what’s best.” Another way of saying this is he wants to “understand what really matters.” If they understand what really matters and live accordingly, then they’ll be ready for the day of Christ and God will be glorified when they bear the fruit of righteousness.

It’s a deep prayer, with a lot of commas.

Here’s my comma-less paraphrase: I pray you keep growing into the kind of people who understand what really matters so you can glorify God with your lives.

Why does Paul pray this for his friends?

Before I answer that question, let me tell you about Chicken Joe’s mohawk.

Several years ago, when my boys were still young enough to watch animated movies over and over again, our family was headed somewhere in our minivan. As I drove, I heard my boys start talking about Chicken Joe. For those of you who don’t know, Chicken Joe is an important historical figure whose life is chronicled in the movie “Surf’s Up.”

In the course of the conversation, for some random reason, one boy said, “Chicken Joe has a mohawk.”

The other boy said, “He does not have a mohawk.”

“Yes he does!”

“No he doesn’t!”

Next, I heard a slap, followed by a grunt. Then a series of noises heard only by witnesses to the worst of wartime atrocities.

My wife broke up the fight before too much blood was spilled.

As I continued to drive, I looked in the rearview mirror and employed a tool favored by inexperienced parents of children not yet old enough to read without moving their lips—logic.

I said, “Guys, do you realize you’re arguing about the hairdo. . .of a chicken. . .in a cartoon. . .about surfing penguins? Is Chicken Joe’s mohawk really worth fighting over?

That’s when one boy said, “Dad, Chicken Joe doesn’t have a mohawk.”

To which the other boy screamed, “Yes he does!”

Sigh.

Sometimes Christians fight over things that don’t really matter. I’ve never experienced it personally, but I’ve read about it in some books.

It’s possible to waste your time and energy taking a stand for something that doesn’t really matter.

It’s possible to miss the opportunity to do good because you aren’t able to discern what is best and therefore, end up making one poor choice after another, never bearing the fruit of righteousness, because you don’t understand what really matters.

In the face of adversity, Paul doesn’t want his friends in Philippi to lose sight of what really matters. He doesn’t want them to blow their church up by fighting over something that doesn’t really matter.

Paul is a bit sneaky with this prayer. He doesn’t just pray it and then move on to something else. Instead, he spends the rest of the letter showing his friends in Philippi what their lives will look like when God answers his prayer.

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:3–8, NIV)

From these opening lines of Paul’s letter to the Philippians, you can see why many scholars describe the church in Philippi as one of Paul’s favorites. His tone is warm and cordial. Friendly even. In other letters to other churches, Paul’s introductions can be sharp, sarcastic, and confrontational. Compare the verses above to the opening verses of Galatians and First Corinthians to see what I’m talking about.

Philippians is not a letter of confrontation. It’s a letter of friendship. A long thank you note, in which Paul shows his appreciation to his friends in Philippi for their partnership in the gospel.

In verse five, he reminds them of how they’ve been partners from the first day. What is he talking about?

Here’s the backstory to their relationship from Acts 16:6-15 (along with my running commentary):

“Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia.”

The Holy Spirit prevented Paul from preaching in Asia. I have no idea what that looked like and neither do you.  If I had to guess, I’d say this is a spiritual way of saying they had car trouble.

“When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas.”

The Spirit of Jesus wouldn’t let them enter Bythynia. Still not sure what’s going on here. I thought the Spirit’s purpose in Acts was to empower the preaching of the gospel, not prevent it.

“During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, ‘Come over to Macedonia and help us.’ After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.”

Since the Spirit won’t let them go anywhere else, Macedonia seems like a good option. Especially since it appears to be the only option.

“From Troas we put out to sea and sailed straight for Samothrace, and the next day we went on to Neapolis. From there we traveled to Philippi, a Roman colony and the leading city of that district of Macedonia.”

Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!

“And we stayed there several days. On the Sabbath we went outside the city gate to the river, where we expected to find a place of prayer.”

There must not have been a synagogue in the Philippi. So the Jews and God-fearing gentiles would gather for prayer near a river, which they could use for ceremonial washing.

“We sat down and began to speak to the women who had gathered there.”

Maybe this explains why they went down to the river to pray. The department of synagoguery required at least ten Jewish men to be part of the community before issuing a building permit.

One of those listening was a woman from the city of Thyatira named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth. She was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message. When she and the members of her household were baptized, she invited us to her home. ‘If you consider me a believer in the Lord,’ she said, ‘come and stay at my house. And she persuaded us.”

And that’s how their friendship began. The Spirit closed a couple of doors and then opened one to Macedonia. Then the Lord opened Lydia’s heart to the gospel. Theirs is a partnership formed by the work of the Holy Spirit.

After some time in the local jail, which led to a few more conversions, Paul and Silas move on to another city to preach the gospel, as was their custom. They leave behind a church of Christ-followers in Philippi.

Time passes, and Paul keeps traveling and preaching. As was his custom, Paul ends up back in jail. When the church in Philippi hears about his imprisonment, they send one of their own, Epaphroditus, with some money to help provide necessities for Paul while he’s in prison.

Paul doesn’t describe the Christians in Philippi as his partners in the gospel because they sent him money. They send Paul money because they are ALREADY his partners in the gospel. This is a critical distinction. This is not a business relationship. It’s not even a typical Greco-Roman friendship based upon escalating reciprocity, where each party tries to enhance their social status by outdoing the other’s generosity.

This is a three-way Christian friendship.

God is at work in Paul’s life. God is also at work in the lives the Philippians. That why Paul and the Philippians are friends, partners in the gospel. Their friendship is not based on what they can do for each other; it’s based on what God is doing in them.

As we’ll see, this radically different way of understanding friendship turns every interaction between Christian friends into an opportunity to live out the gospel by imitating Christ.