Daily Haiku – Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 74

Wade Kwon — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 05:00:06 +0000

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glorious, glorious snow
The prospect of white
gold promises a day of
hooky and snugness.

belts are tightening
Not enough money
to cover food, gas and bills.
The struggle is real.

the ai-enhanced toaster
Kitchen appliance
brings the promise of AI
to your dumb kitchen.

writers turned performers
Take your very words
and proclaim them to all the
masses and their ilk.

all is calm, all is bright
Sing of the joyous
couple and their unplanned babe
in a foul stable.

post-holiday blues
The family has
left. The tree is dying. The
returns are still left.

the walmart police
He carefully scans
the cart, receipt in hand, on
the lookout for theft.

the stats on listening
How much streaming did
we consume in a full year?
All hail Spotify!

banned words of 2025
Slop, ballroom, tariff,
parasocial, cringe, rawdog,
tradwife, 6-7!

scratch-offs and bottled water
She played card after
card, hoping for a small win
for her investment.

year-end clearance
Twenty twenty-five
can’t hurt us no more because
we’re ditching that bitch.

new year, same you
The calendar is
new, but you’re still the same old
you with more mileage.

holiday hangover
The spending was wild,
the parties were amazing,
the headache is real.

rat on the loose
Tiny, furry one,
why must you visit my home
this dreary winter?

biking buddies
They pedaled along
empty streets, admiring the
urban wonderland.

lovely and lively
She is delightful
and wry, playful and cheerful
and so kissable.

windshield woes
The glass is cracking
up (again). Time to invest
in costly fixes.

splitting down
I squatted, and the
jeans ripped in the butt. Time to
reduce that booty?

benefits of the doubts
She doesn’t think he’s
keeping pace and resorts to
curt accusations.

veganism as a way of life
No animals were
harmed in the making of these
delicious vittles.

language is no longer a barrier
Pointez votre phone
vers ce poème, et voyez
les vers traduits vite.

gone but forgotten
They served food with a
welcoming atmosphere and
still ended up closed.

struggles with attention
Even the simplest
task becomes monumental
and just out of reach.

for those who cannot change
Scorn and ridicule
to the one who expects good
from doing nothing.

chest time
Quality time on
the sofa to settle in
and snuggle away.

the tawdry read
Smut filled the pages
of the paperback novel
leading her astray.

invasion of the arctic air
Temperate weather
goes out the window when a
polar vortex drops.

life has beaten me down
Tired of getting up
in a world indifferent
to menial lives.

rehearsing the speech in your head
Going over it
over and over, trying
not to sound naggy.

civil rights mecca
Visit Birmingham
to see the history up
close and personal.

(at least) three more years of nonsense
Trumponomics is
a disaster designed to
wreck the middle class.

i can’t drive 55
Follow the highway
to discover new vistas,
new destinations.

defending your life
Rationalizing
the choices we’ve made to a
dispassionate judge.

the wonders of the snack cart
Junk foods of all kinds,
from cookies to chocolates
to chips and gummies.

the faces of ai
Confidante, teacher,
companion, advisor, judge,
advocate, writer.

hypocrisy is dead
Winning became more
important than values. It
has become the rule.

they take care of the customer
They don’t make up lame
excuses. They’re more focused
on setting things right.

the old piano
Between 81
and 86 keys still work
but it needs tuning.

oh yeah, it’s an election year
In Alabama,
a stupid football coach will
become governor.

try a little tenderness
In this hellish world,
be kind to one another
and allow for grace.

the new sidewalk
A concrete ribbon
stretches for blocks, inviting
people and pooches.

every accusation is a confession
They chide enemies,
unwittingly revealing
their evil nature.

sex positivity
It’s really fun and
a good way to explore one’s
self or another.

the uncomfortable mirror
Are we living lives
worth emulating? Or are
we coming up short?

guts
It takes guts to be
the gadfly, the truth teller,
the one who stands up.

first time cooking vegan
It’s seems to be more
about shunning foods rather
than embracing them.

berries for months
She freezes her fresh
harvest by the bucketful.
Cornucopia!

here comes the torch
Celebrate the sports
in Milano Cortina
for the Winter Games!

the original home of mardi gras
Driving to Mobile
to dance, drink and celebrate
the rolling good times.

when the bills come due
Each month, we stretch our
paycheck to cover growing
expenses and needs.

getting things done
An intricate way
to manage projects and tasks
in such constant flux.

cheap wine, good wine
For a few dollars,
you can experience a
glass of fine grape juice.

cabin fever
Been cooped up too long
this winter. Ready to burst
onto la nature.

deep intimacy
When the questions probe
into the psyche and the
responses are long.

galentine’s day
Party for women
who lift each other up in
platonic friendships.

a night for romance
Champagne and truffles,
flowers and candy, dinner
and movie, all set.

the ravages of age
Pay no attention
to the wrinkles, the gait or
the snowy white hair.

buffy for beginners
She’ll quip and quip and
quip, but always ready for
a bloody battle.

worldly ways
She had always been
on the go, visiting these
wild destinations.

summers up north, winters down south
Back and forth in search
of warmer temps and cooling
breezes for comfort.

building a life alone
How did I end up
resetting everything and
relying on me?

dad needs a little help
He just had an eye
operation, and struggles
with little to-dos.

well-paid paperweights
We sit bored with no
way to pass the time, watching
the clock ticking down.

a night of jazz
Fans dressed to go to
dinner later, waiting for
the late musicians.

authoritarian blues
This machine murders
fascists, but not nearly fast
enough for my taste.

the value of protest
Finding people who
support the same underdog
cause you’re fighting for.

the alabama solution 2
Prisoners face off
against murderous guards in
horrid conditions.

i prefer the summer
Nothing against sub-
freezing temps and icy roads,
but gimme hot days.

procrastination, the writer’s friend
Almost ready to
write, just need to get coffee
and sharpen pencils.

exploiting ai
Let us rejoice in
slop and thank our 12-fingered
hands for this content.

how to tell you’re in a cult
Everyone tells you
that you’re in a cult, but you
fail to heed their pleas.

the roundabout
Vehicles turn left
till they exit right, a game
of Rushin’ Roulette.

cooking for the week
Up late making food
in advance to nourish us
in the coming days.

getting away from lists
So many things to
do, on our Post-Its, in our
heads, in our Inbox.

half a banana
Heavy on those carbs
before the race, fractioned fruit
during and after.

the meaning of christianity
A list of holy
do’s and don’ts, but open to
interpretation.

whither college?
What good is higher
learning when the professors
can’t keep up with tech?

the thaw
Signs of spring emerge
underneath the melting snow.
Green is the new black.

climate costs
Higher power and
gas bills. Lost time at work. Need
more medical care.

hype, hype and more hype
Entertainers and
athletes shine brightest before
their predestined fall.

elder rap stars
Once, they rocked the mic.
Now, they spread joy and mirth far
across the tame land.

sponsors needed
Put your brand name here
and win the adulation
of dozens of fans.

please please click me
Make the headline vague
enough to make readers real
curious to see.

snack happy hour
Five o’clock strikes, and
it’s time to munch on pretzels
and assorted treats.

a celebration of movies
Hit the theater
to take in a new comic
book flick or romcom.

the value of protests
Finding your tribe can
be the most empowering
action to fight back.

the hidden atm
Why didn’t they tell
me about the one by the
side garage entrance?

how to drive a car into the ground
Take great care of your
beater, and replace any
parts that go kaput.

and the allergy came back
His eyes were burning
something fierce from either smoke,
pollen or dander.

plant away
Let the seeds erupt
into new vegetables and
flowers on raised beds.

you were never cool
But you were always
kind and considerate, a
soul to admire.

cleaning up, cleaning out
The time has arrived
finally to haul off the
junk and make some space.

you can’t make someone do anything
We try all the time.
It doesn’t work. We can hope,
and we can pray hard.

the cellist with the pink hair
Back from a smoke break,
she tunes her instrument while
humming to herself.

compact champagne
For those great little
celebrations of minor
victories and whims.

electric boogaloo
Americans would
rather pump gas and make fumes
than go electric.

mr. show
A fantastical
show where one surreal sketch would
lead to another.

an ode to 24-hour walmart
We roamed the aisles late
at night, unbothered by crowds,
to pick up some stuff.

the guitarist at the stop light
His belongings at
his side, he strummed for the cars
waiting to drive off.

i smile, she smiles
That’s the rule. When I
make a face, she giggles and
lights up with delight.

quarter by quarter
Make the line go up.
Cut the peons from their jobs.
Collect a bonus.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 73

Wade Kwon — Sat, 20 Dec 2025 06:00:06 +0000

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that boy (still) ain’t right
“King of the Hill” picks
up 8 years later in our
beloved Arlen.

picky about the pic
Volunteer photog
tries different angles while
getting us to pose.

swimming lessons
A summer to flail
around in chlorine learning
how to move around.

deny the fly
It buzzes around
the kitchen, setting on a
plate of vittles. Gross!

kim’s convenience
A Canadian
show about a Korean
family hits home.

no more kings 2
America fought
to cleave from an unjust king.
Shall we fight again?

planning to get out of town
Who will be at the
lake house, and how long will they
be there? Oh, I see …

the sober generation
No longer are they
willing to be swilling booze.
Let’s save the liver.

the new conservative male
Unwilling to be
woke. Attached to Joe Rogan
and the manosphere.

house rich
Flaunt your wealth with gold
sconces, marble countertops
and pink chandeliers.

grand opening/grand closing
No one even had
the chance to browse the store or
touch the merchandise.

or the first day of second summer
A fall where it’s still
hot outside all the time and
leaves stay on the trees.

rip post-herald
It’s been 20 years
since our newspaper shut down.
Many more have croaked.

the mighty sovereign citizen
Anti-gov crackpot
challenges authority
every single day.

artificial scarcity
You need this. But it’s
almost gone! You don’t really
need this. Buy it quick!

don’t yuck my yum
A world of flavors
and preferences, plenty
of room for all tastes.

the library has moved
And so have the books
and the personnel and the
hamster named Herman.

corporate enticements
Free food and ping pong
are certainly better than
flex hours and raises.

hillside ornaments
Landscaping on a
slanted surface with meatball
bushes and much mulch.

donut shoppe dilemma
I can’t decide what
to get for my dozen. Might
I try every one?

plus plus dash
A compliment, then
another compliment, then
a vow to resume.

snoozing in the janitor’s closet
Walking down the hall
listening to the gentle
snore of a cleaner.

first amendment, first priority
Make a joke about
the president and get yanked
from TV airwaves.

look who’s chicken
Sometimes powerful
people fold in the face of
an angry public.

examining the will
Check for intent and
execution. Does it match
testator’s wishes?

pinball heaven
Silver balls careen
through grandiose mazes, and
so many flippers!

missed connection
Hey stranger, our eyes
met at the car wash and you
were wearing burlap …

life on airplane mode
Flying along with
no notifications and
no complications.

the most critical part of a surprise party
Making sure the lights
are off and all the guests are
hiding in their spots.

a sink full of dirty dishes
We let them pile up
without rinsing or putting
them in the washer.

that new library smell
Checking out the plush
pristine carpets and dusty
old books on display.

help from afar
Participating
in protests and petitions
to stop genocide.

social media was a mistake
Every post reflects
nonsensical opinions
on every topic.

costume conundrum
Something timely or
timeless? Funny or scary?
Sexy or slutty?

entertaining seniors
Some light juggling, a
game of bingo and chair-based
yoga on Thursday.

in memory of
The mourners gathered
in church to pay their respects
to a lost loved one.

showdown in the courtroom
Angry mom v.
angry dad over the care
of their little ones.

a book for basic dickheads
Everything I don’t
like is “woke,” especially
this stupid engine.

know your cocktails
A pricey course in
bartender specialties that
can be sipped or gulped.

just call me petty betty
I can hold a grudge
like no other, some going
back a few decades.

don’t call everyone a nazi
(Unless they’re trying
to stamp out minorities
and oppressed peoples.)

bobbing for herpes
No one puts apples
in a tub of water since
we found out it’s gross.

seeking friendship
Companionship can
be rare when we don’t know how
to attract others.

fiesta time
Eating tacos while
color-coordinated
bandas take the stage.

lucha libre
The vocal crowd roared
its support as luchadors
became acrobats.

the care and feeding of a wade
Observe quietly,
engage him gently, offer
him a Diet Coke.

we think we’re the majority
How often we find
out others violently
disagree with us.

the many flavors of anxiety
We learn to cope with
fear of future by getting
us desensitized.

unserious people
Surrounded by those
who could make a difference
but choose otherwise.

your daily fascism
Threats of violence,
a little gaslighting, a
dose of suppression.

the masks are off
Evil spirits no
longer dwell in the shadows
but wander freely.

so many car washes out there
The sole objective
standard to judge a car is
by its cleanliness.

the museum of graffiti
Artists make use of
spray paint to create gorgeous
murals on clean walls.

art deco town
The streets are lined with
fabulous examples of
old architecture.

that new house smell
Walls scrubbed clean and floors
that shine. Take everything in,
lord of the manor.

moving out
Her stuff disappeared
box by box, leaving almost
no trace of herself.

a place for plants
Each windowsill and
table top, all along the
floor and balcony.

mother-daughter detente
A truce at long last,
as both re-evaluate
their losses and gains.

an empty house
A home full of life
goes quiet. The kids have moved
on and far away.

the sofa puzzle
A pink couch that comes
in pieces requires some
tools and some luck.

an eye for decor
A custom palette
and swatches of fabrics lead
the way to great style.

the battle of portland
This Veterans Day,
please remember the selfless
heroes who fought squat.

the ornery judge
She was gruff and would
not deal with shenanigans
within her courtroom.

interview blues
All that prep time to
end up babbling like a dope
for 40 minutes.

the microwave trap
Unsuspecting fools
trying to heat lunches doomed
due to faulty latch.

data center defiance
Where will they build? Not
here, not now. Dreadful impact
on environment.

salad in a bag
All kinds of shredded
lettuce with more veggies and
assorted fixins.

ghosting as a way of life
Never return a
call or a text. Just keep on
gliding through the world.

20 years of poetry
Counting syllables
while putting words to my wild
imagination.

the last days of turkey
Fat and satisfied,
he ambles round the barnyard
with nary a care.

the ballroom
Historic rubble
gives way to hubris with a
tacky gold veneer.

ladies and gentlemen, the weekend
Pack up and head home.
There’s nothing that can’t wait till
Monday or Tuesday.

the high cost of living
Inflation is our
constant companion, making
our sad lives worth less.

the new new nazi party
They speak of murders
for cleansing, giving salutes
with knowing glances.

don’t drink the water
When going abroad,
imbibe the wines and beers, teas
and juices and mead.

pocket translator
Smartphones interpret
the wider world with kindly
linguistic aplomb.

fly the bankrupt skies
Passengers must serve
their own drinks and load baggage
onto the airplane.

pilgrims and indians
Two factions sit down
to dinner and politely
break bread together.

a fall beach trip
Less crowded but still
sunny. Familiar rhythms
beckon us to stay.

life in merida
Mexican city
thrives with kind-hearted people
and warmer weather.

let it flood, let it flood, let it flood
Hurricanes batter
helpless hot spots dumping an
ocean of water.

a book inscription
“Dearest Reader, know
that I wrote this fine book for
you especially.”

prelude to a nap
Drooping eyes, flagging
energy can’t compete with
a warm, cozy bed.

the unpainted table
She felt like sprucing
it up, though it didn’t need
a real makeover.

giftfinding
A special knack for
finding the perfect item
that will bring a smile.

the mother who wasn’t there
Father and son don’t
get along, leaving her caught
in between warriors.

beyond mass appeal
It’s the specifics
that draw an audience, the
details that matter.

always another fire to put out
Something is burning?
It must be a day ending
with the letter “Y.”

what’s a living wage?
When food, shelter and
clothing can be bought, with some
left for dignity.

santa keeps three lists
On the third list are
terrorists, billionaires and
bitcoin fanatics.

snap decisions
The benefits don’t
last long with three kids eating
everything in sight.

modern pinball
Less about flippers
and more about buzzy screens
and endless cutscenes.

where is the exit?
Please let us escape
this nightmare world where our dreams
and plans are strangled.

the value of pbs
A wholesome network
where kids can learn and adults
can absorb culture.

the appeasement strategy
Let the bully win,
then fret when he returns for
more compensation.

the lie that got away
It started as a
fib, grew into a whopper,
blew up in our face.

boyfriend material
Owns his own house and
car. Practices chivalry.
Cares for his kitties.

early morning fog
Even headlights fall
away in an enormous
white cloud floating so.

the crackdown
Masked armed thugs from the
government round up people
of color on sight.

the alabama solution
A deadly sentence
for state prisoners at the
mercy of the guards.

a night at the symphony
Beautiful patrons
love Mozart and Tchaikovsky
performed with panache.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 72

Wade Kwon — Wed, 10 Sep 2025 05:00:06 +0000

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southern politeness
Soft noncommittal
answers dance around probing
inquiries, y’all see.

sets at 7 and 9:45
Comedians get
ready, while fans take on the
two-drink minimum.

toxic moms
They said that you were
no damn good and human trash
unworthy of love.

asynchronous planning
Coordinating
our schedules while skimming through
a jumble of texts.

the mythologization of normalcy
A grand adventure
awaits every small errand
or sip of coffee.

freak rain
Summertime is marked
with cloud bursts and steam baths at
any given time.

ai the reporter or journAlIsm
Hallucinations
plague each and every sentence.
Everyone loves slop.

don’t ask me why
Every drunk must have
his drink. Don’t wait for answers.
Just take your chances.

the bad friend
Never calls, never
texts, never makes an effort
to keep things going.

there’s a new tariff in town
Tax on everything.
Prices are skyrocketing.
Recession coming.

billionaire country
Personal jets and
luxury yachts, tailored clothes
and money to burn.

dance party usa
“Alexa, play New
Wave,” she ordered as she spun
in the living room.

the same page
Sometimes, we’re novels
apart in sentiments and
beliefs. We’ll get there.

the war on hemp
Alabama hates
a plant it can’t control.
Getting high no more.

arcade dreams
Pinball machines and
classic video games beep
and boop all evening.

triumph of the shill
An oligarch rules
with his hand out, expecting
a sizable bribe.

grand theft identity
Foreign powers steer
hackers to impersonate
us for money grabs.

hormones run amok
Her body freaks out
from surges, imbalances
and some hot flashes.

she nose a new season
Put aside pesky
allergies and breathe in the
first day of summer.

poetry in america
The excitement of
sharing treasured verses with
a wide audience.

the workout queen
She ruled the gym with
strength (lactose acid, be damned)
poise and protein shakes.

at the adult spelling bee
W-H-Y
D-O I-T? W-
H-Y N-O-T?

a question of surprises
Is it worth the risk
to surprise someone, or is
it going to flop?

bag it
Forget the wrapping
paper and tape. Shove the gift
in a sack and go.

celiac suspicions
Are the chefs being
extra careful about cross-
contamination?

a mighty crush
His heart beat faster,
all because of a pretty
girl who looked his way.

talk and walk
Their neighborhood strolls
wound through the streets featuring
droll conversation.

the right way to tell people off
Bullhorn, graffiti,
skywriting, voicemail, flyers,
keying vehicles.

the cost of (barely) living
Regrettably poor,
earning just enough to get
by and nothing more.

the hug machine
DIY kit that
squeezes the user gently
providing a hug.

the rainbow parade
Marching down Seventh
Avenue, merry strollers
proclaim, “Happy Pride!”

be more yes
Finding adventure
around every corner. Who
am I to say no?

no more kings
We got rid of King
George 250 years
ago. One to go …

monsoon season
Once a day, the skies
turn violent with lightning
and stormy surges.

packing for the lake
A mere five bags hold
everything for my three-day
lakeshore getaway.

the vacation bible school experience
Kids gather to learn
about Jesus and break for
milk and stale cookies.

the scent of sargasso
The stink of thick brown
seaweed makes this vacation
most unbearable.

hacked and confused
A breach so big all
users must reset passwords
before it’s too late.

homegrown empire
She’s building a 10-
million-dollar enterprise
in her spare bedroom.

lessons from the man of steel
What does a baby
from Krypton have to teach us
in the 2000s?

beyond sweaty
I am damp chested
from moderate exercise,
pouring down my face.

the patterns only i see
Eating cereal,
wearing glasses, placing bowls
in the dishwasher.

parking ins and outs
The parking laws are
meaningless when the weekend
rolls around. Go nuts.

in a hundred years
In a hundred years,
we will all be dead and none
of this will matter.

beta testers
To check the software
(or hardware), volunteers try
out the new features.

the garden club
They take pride in their
blossoming roses, also
their pruning techniques.

earworm wars
Catchy melodies
live rent free in my head. No
wonder I’m crazy.

mayor tiktok
Spending all day on
the socials, leadership by
playlists and selfies.

how to make friends in 2025
End loneliness by
joining group activities
and stopping scrolling.

obsessed with asamimichan
Cartoon rabbits bounce
with cheeky energy and
adorable bums.

creeping along, careerwise
A task here, a task
there. Soon we’ll have training and
minor skill building.

the trouble with china
One billion souls, all
under the control of the
Communist Party.

adoption nightmare
Korean market
supplies stolen babies for
the US to take.

sass to the extreme
It begins with a
dangerous provocation
and ends with wan smiles.

seeking slave ships
Black scuba divers
find centuries-old galleons
on the ocean floor.

great aspirations
Making the best use
of time to win at life and
journey much further.

we don’t vacation enough
Why is it so hard
to claim time off and spend it
pursuing fun things?

a junky inheritance
Generational
acquisitions shouldn’t be
hand-me-down millstones.

fruit fix
Berries and apples
and bananas and melons
and pineapples, too.

90 miles later
Many a journey
starts on a narrow strip of
mat circling around.

what’s in it for me?
Ask the most basic
question for self-interest.
Otherwise, time waste.

the sleep monster
It awakens at
odd hours, gobbling slumber with
ravenous hunger.

pimping books
The staff shows a deep
love of books in reels pushing
reading as vital.

the passing of a man
Unexpectedly
he died, leaving behind loved
ones and legacy.

invasion of privacy
Secrecy can be
tough to manage when prying
eyes wander too close.

representation matters always
Who stands in for us
in media, government,
board rooms and healthcare?

this fragile democracy
A madman with no
compunction upends our rule
of law and order.

for the good of the corporation
Take heed of the stock
price and make it grow and grow
till it hits the sky.

the four-day workweek
A full day reclaimed
in the name of leisure and
Fridays filled with fun.

radical empathy
Fear turns to kindness
when strangers are welcomed no
matter who they are.

the straying stallions
Yet another team
gallops away. City of
dying franchises.

why even go back to school?
When education
makes students dumber thanks to
widespread whitewashing.

the redditors unite
With brews in hand, they
pulled up chairs to join lively
exchange IRL.

ip i see
Creativity
is blunted not by AI
but by old IP.

the gutting of public media
Programming for the
masses to be pre-empted
in rural places.

the gutting of universities
Cutting-edge research
dissolves without the grants and
funding. Science stops.

teaching is learning
What better way to
show off what you’ve learned than by
instructing others?

stranger on the doorstep
Don’t knock at night if
you expect a friendly smile
and a warm welcome.

grief in all its forms
Neverending tears.
Heart in agony. Time to
eat a casserole.

swelter in place
Shade or no shade, the
harsh penalty for being
outdoors is heat stroke.

the guru in the zoom
She had nothing but
tough love to dole out among
the participants.

clutter opportunist
No free space is safe
when the packrat invades shelves,
closets and counters.

enough shame to go around
It’s class warfare and
actual warfare. This is
a moral wasteland.

a hint of grease
That pan is not clean
enough. Wash it again and
really scrub it good.

watercooler moments
We all deserve a
break, where we can shoot the breeze
with our work buddies.

who will run our town?
These mediocre
busybodies are on the
ballot. We decide.

no checks, just imbalances
A runaway prez
steamrolls over rule of law
and other branches.

unlocking the operating system
The users often
overlook nifty tricks and
time-saving shortcuts.

katrina remembered
Hurricane swamps the
levees. No help is coming.
Coastal city drowns.

flee circus
The good ol’ US
of A is no place for lone
outcasts much like me.

back yard beautification
An unyielding sun
showers me in heat as I
pull some nasty weeds.

all’s quiet on the labor front
Quiet quitting and
quiet cracking … I give up!
I’m going crazy!!

the missing food truck
Hungry workers stand
by as their lunch hour winds down.
Where are their tacos?!

the emptiest nest
Both son and daughter
have flown off to college. The
house seems abandoned.

stuck in a sling
Weeks go by. Can’t work,
can’t work out. Ready to be
out of this restraint.

an instant no
He doesn’t need a
minute to think it over —
it’s always easy.

afraid to date
She couldn’t believe
guys were asking her out. What
a predicament.

meet the sims
Taking good care of
this virtual family
means godlike power.

the death of reading
If you made it to
the end of this short poem,
congratulations.

late night hunger
Driving around to
find some diner open at
this ungodly hour.

the s word
The new textbooks don’t
mention the original
American sin.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 71

Wade Kwon — Sun, 01 Jun 2025 05:00:06 +0000

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project 2025 in action
A solid blueprint
eroding democracy
using government.

adventures in air frying
Load the basket with
assorted ingredients
and set dial to blast.

the offer and the counteroffer
A two-step dance to
find out your worth in dollars,
cents and benefits.

the busy season
Lots of work and lots
of fun to be had, if our
time would allow it.

gift of gab
He would greet each one
by name, a friendly start to
many dialogues.

gelato journeys
Take me away to
summer days with bright sunshine
and gobs of ice cream.

making out at the bar
The couple put on
quite a show while we’re trying
to just have a drink.

a delightful smile
She beams happiness
to all around her, laughing
through her hazel eyes.

introvert’s credo
Not every moment
of silence must be filled with
endless jabbering.

who are you wearing?
Let’s dress up and watch
the Oscars in style. Even
in just pajamas.

emotional ambush
She attacks without
warning, feeding on stress and
deep anxiety.

the age we feel
Who we see in the
mirror isn’t the same as
the age in our heads.

the impudent fire alarm
It was hard (SCREEE!) to
hold a conver— (SCREEE!) sation
with (SCREEE!) all that noise.

playtime at the restaurant
Kids would run and scream
and laugh and clamber on the
staircase before lunch.

sitting in the only booth
We share a moment
(and some tots) at the end of
the new restaurant.

a world without meat
Happy chickens, pigs
and cows celebrate diets
without their protein.

back to running
Hitting the streets with
a newfound focus on great
health and more movement.

clogged toilet, clogged sink
Why won’t the water
disappear? Don’t make me call
the plumber out here …

the ban
She vowed never to
work for the white man again.
It worked out just fine.

watching sports
An endless parade
of jocks playing each other
on fields of battle.

the needs of the special needs
Their teachers look out
for kids on the spectrum who
function differently.

parental alienation
One parent uses the
children as weapons in
a sick, twisted war.

the life of a nun
Days spent in prayer and
service, cloistered from the world
as brides of Jesus.

the piracy code
Why pay for stuff when
you can download it for free?
The artists suffer.

a question of luck
Clovers with four leaves
and feet of rabbits … can they
change puny fortunes?

beyond the norm
A most dry wit with
an insouciant devil-
may-care attitude.

exclamatory exuberance
This is exciting!
I’m trying to be normal
here. I can’t help it!!

too short a season
Along comes spring, warm
with budding joy. Let us dance
in rolling meadows.

government “efficiency”
Hack away at slim
pickings while boondoggles slip
through without a fight.

the true cost of eggs
Soaring prices tell
us that we should’ve tried to
save democracy.

disbanding the feds
It’s easy to can
the federal workforce when
nothing is sacred.

billionaires’ paradise
They own media,
corporations, resources
and the government.

rent in america
Through the roof, which is
now impossible on a
regular paycheck.

the worst timeline
We rolled the dice, not
knowing the consequences
of our fickle fate.

can’t get my meds
The same pills each month,
and yet I must get prior
authorization.

territorial at home
We share a household
but can’t seem to agree on
helpful boundaries.

picking our battles
New current events
warrant outrage, but how much
for each occurrence?

touch grass
Every now and then,
we must commune with nature
and drop all our screens.

let’s go walk the cat
Outdoorsy feline
prefers the leash to napping
all day long indoors.

the book of no
Yes. Yes? Yes! Yes … Yes—
Maybe. Could be. How about?
No No. NO NO. NO!

the battle for water
Our earth’s most precious
resource in short supply makes
for bloody conflict.

the stubborn old man
He would rather be
right than do right by his own
family. Hopeless.

outdated dating ideas
Get a mail order
bride. Make sure she’s dirt poor.
Knock her up. Profit!

death of an apple
The ancient laptop
flashed a sign of surrender,
stuck in boot up.

transparency in war
Tell everyone the
troops are on the way and the
bombs are coming next.

schooling by states
So much for helping
the disabled and fixing
inequality.

self care for a reason
All too easily,
we break down, burn out when not
paying attention.

in concert again
He took the stage to
flex his savvy after so
many years away.

the endless buffet
Steam tables loaded
with tempting Asian dishes
all to fatten us.

the best pizza in the world
We shared slices and
beers at this pizzeria
joint on the southside.

view from the outdoor bar
The world strolls by as
we sip our drinks and laugh at
some silly nonsense.

do you know this band?
A few bars in and
you figure out the artist,
even the album.

from the library of wade kwon
The dust jacket is
missing but the book itself?
Perfect condition.

taxable hoods
Make billionaires pay
for schools, roads, research, the arts,
healthcare and defense.

on the sly
Do it where no one
can see it, right under their
collective noses.

what so proudly we hail
Our nation rots. We
careen to extinction at
twilight’s last gleaming.

somebody somewhere
Sam searches for her
true self with the help of her
friends and her sister.

falling behind in my gossip site
I barely know who’s
cancelled, who’s fighting who and
who’s screwing around.

the food court is no longer in session
The chairs are put up,
the guard is locking up, the
cooks are cleaning up.

drinking at the red lobster bar
It’s just us and a
waitress/bartender hopping
around the tables.

stuck in our musical eras
Classic rock is now
ancient. Oldies are from the
aughts. Radios? Dead.

hoarding it all
She had a need to
collect these odds and ends which
had no real value.

beware the bitter
It can destroy all
the happy feelings and leave
you in the gutter.

this could’ve been an email
She didn’t have to
splurge for our breakup dinner.
(Should’ve ordered steak.)

tearing down history
The architecture
alone is worth saving, but
the new owners won’t.

zillow gone wild
Crazy bathrooms and
panther statues, and all for
our nosy pleasure.

echoes of an eclipse
The disasters came
when the moon went in hiding
and the sun melted.

in remembrance of spencer gifts
Rad posters, raunchy
T-shirts, novelty items
galore at the mall.

magic man
Sorcerer attempts
to fool audience over
and over again.

pop donuts
A quaint storefront with
confections galore and a
hungry clientele.

chance encounter
What are the odds that
we meet someone who ticks each
item on our list?

internal turmoil
Roiling agita
churns my guts. Will my conscience
ever recover?

just friends
They made a go of
it but ended up as pals
with no benefits.

the accusation
HR ambushed her
with a 3-hour meeting
and scant evidence.

a symphonic evening
Beautiful music
floated through the theater
with a baton’s wave.

maintaining posture
Sit up straighter in
an effort to line up our
lopsided bones.

a world of texting
Telegram, WhatsApp,
Messenger and Signal have
bypassed SMS.

nerding out
It’s no longer a
cultural faux pas to be
fixated by stuff.

mental breakdown
Bombarded by guilt
and unable to cope with
a strong shame spiral.

all the news that gives us fits
The headlines offer
nothing but overwhelming
fiascos and cons.

the man without a will
He didn’t need a
piece of paper to give up
his worldly trappings.

the new beard
Face has a new do
styled by indifference and
maintained just barely.

robots that can reason
The rising AI
IQ threatens to replace
our society.

roomies: a love story
She came, she stayed, she
started a new family
of two in this house.

pollen nation
Trees be fucking out
here, leaving hot messes and
making us achoo.

the sarcastic
It’d be so great
if you’d curbed your attitude
for the time being.

the appreciation factory
Gratitude is our
business, and business is so
very, very good.

monday dinner
We look forward to
our weekly ritual for
fellowship and fun.

reddit to the rescue
One forum after
another, chock full of snark
and even advice.

slop till you drop
Artificially
generated content tends
to be terrible.

nosiness detector
Knock knock knock. Who’s there?
Nunya. Nunya who? Nunya
damn business, honky.

home of the hornets
Along the railing
of the balcony stood a
small colony nest.

runaway prices
What if tariffs were
the actual culprit for
inflated costs? Nah.

undue process
Send them to prison
in El Salvador and then
let God sort them out.

lost vets, lost freedoms
Did they fight for an
authoritarian state
or democracy?

those poor billionaires
So misunderstood
with their mountains of cash and
their pillaging ways.

learning to be sorry
Apologize from
the heart. Own your mistakes. Be
kind and repentant.

the story of jesus
As told by choirs,
one soloist, one string section
and colorful slides.

ankle angst
Does it need rest, ice,
compression, elevation?
Hope it heals quickly.

the cypher
Encoded message
for your eyes only contains
schematics and plans.

stanning for teddy swims
That voice, that gorgeous
voice, coupled with thrilling songs
defying genres.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 70

Wade Kwon — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 06:00:06 +0000

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gratitude is our business
Gratitude is our
business. And business is so
very very good.

sunday scaries
Oh no! The weekend
is almost over, and I
am dreading Monday.

turkey tally
How many birds do
we need for Thanksgiving? A
gaggle? What the flock?!

the bill comes due
The moment you’ve been
dreading: It’s time to pay up,
and you have no cash.

blinded by sunlight
No way to see the
road or the cars ahead faced
with maximum glare.

the unhealable thumb
A simple broken
nail leads to big ouchies from
every snag and catch.

let’s get petty
This game requires
a long memory and a
sour disposition.

psych yourself up for tiny wins
I’m going to get
moving. Any second now,
I’ll stand up for sure.

the snack cart
Baskets of cookies
and chips and fruits and nuts and
everything yummy.

the revamped walmart
Shoppers wander the
aisles looking for their misplaced
bargains and must-haves.

what charities will accept
Dirty jeans, moldy
books, scuffed furniture, ugly
sweaters, odds and ends,

man amongst the machines
He punched buttons and
swore at failures, adjusting
to the mechanics.

security on 25 screens
Black-and-white vision
aids watchful eyes in keeping
the site safe for all.

the ass crack bandit
Slippin’ them quarters
into bent-over butts while
remaining unknown.

sound signals of friendship
The right ringtones and
text tones spark instant joy from
incoming tidings.

the loudest guy in the room
His jovial ways
connect him with others in
keeping things relaxed.

fix a plate
Heap it with lots of
good eats, take a photo to
show off, then dig in!

beyond shopping
Take a walk outside:
Escape the material
world with its trappings.

the crocheted blanket
She poured love into
each stitch, weaving together
brightly colored yarn.

future dread
Thinking about the
future freezes my soul. I
can’t imagine why.

self care and the question of privilege
The world is burning,
but I’m retreating in haste.
Bigger fish to fry.

exploiting a vulnerability
Love is the pit of
your stomach wrenching in pain
from abandonment.

a hint of mint
Toothpaste doesn’t need
to taste like bubblegum or
goddam sassafras.

eat mor milkshakes
A peppermint chip
milkshake: the only food I
need in December.

catching a recruiter’s eye
All it takes is a
couple of keywords on your
LinkedIn profile page.

once, we were happy
A couple so in
love, spending time together.
Where did it all go?

the first phone call in months
Mother and daughters
take turns re-establishing
some kind of rapport.

the frailty of mom and dad
They got old so fast.
Brains, bodies worn out over
time. Goodbye comes soon.

the mini convenience store
Snacks and meals, sodas
and energy drinks. All run
from a checkout stand.

contraband in the planter
She found a stash of
mushrooms, fairly certain they
belonged to the teens.

the war against stuff
Don’t give me any
things. Fight clutter rather than
declutter again.

gig work as an elf
Santa runs a mean
shop. Quotas and deadlines on
expendable pay.

the wild robot
Machine reborn as
caregiver to a gosling
alone in the woods.

small joys every day
Rejoice in the wee
wonders that go unnoticed
brightening our lives.

at every moment, we are volunteers
Stephen Colbert says
to take everything with an
air of gratitude.

weighty matters
It’s OK to tell
the doctor that you don’t want
to step on the scale.

the stealth poet
Able to craft lines
and verses without being
detected by you.

when to hang it up: love edition
Two people without
hope to reconcile their own
insecurities.

when to hang it up: work edition
Relations sour
between once convivial
colleagues. Game over.

the shivery promise of a new season
Winter is here. Do
we hibernate or shed our
comforting jammies?

stressed beyond belief
Suffering under
too many obligations
and money troubles.

a relationship detour
Out of nowhere, a
time to re-evaluate
our shaky future.

who fills mama’s stocking?
Don’t leave out the one
person who makes sure to fill
the other stockings.

a christmas prayer
Worldwide conflicts tear
our lives apart. Seeking peace,
now more than ever.

the war within
Do I shut out my
friends to limit the carnage,
or share my chaos?

rainy, cold and dreary
Seemingly endless
cycle of wintry torment
in long barrages.

the value of camaraderie
To get through the tough
times, we should stick together
and love each other.

our hidden stories
We dare not share them
on social media, so
immense is our shame.

banned words, 2024 edition
Demure, brat, brain rot,
enshittification, cat
lady, skibidi.

going out with a sigh
Good riddance to the
vibes of 2024
and its doomsday scene.

new year, new you
… I muttered after
throwing my dead clone into
the nearest dumpster.

a shattered heart
The hardest part is
letting go. The easiest
part is letting go.

five stages of modern grief
Scrolling, vaguebooking,
numbing, ordering Postmates,
then narcissism.

an unbearable pain
Closing in on all
sides, unable to escape
her miserable life.

the littlest joys
We end the day with
reflection on small wins that
bring on such rare smiles.

conversational desperation
We connected but
for a moment, ending in
complete severance.

a disposable relationship
How do you throw love
away, when it’s so hard to
find in the first place?

to be a good man
Whether to shelve your
feelings and listen, or give
in to being hurt.

the best possible self
A version of me
stood proud for being loving
and fiercely loyal.

the place where wee things belong
Invisible signs
mark the spots where things should go,
home for each object.

seasonally, affectively disordered
Long nights bring gloomy
moods. Such dread manifests in
the gray winter sky.

the uncooperative treadmill
The readout displays
all 8s, meaning exercise
will take place elsewhere.

misery comes in twos
They faced their burdens
while holding each other up,
so great was their pain.

cooking efficiency
Make enough now to
eat again and again right
through the coming week.

how to date in 2025
Let AI make the
texts resonate, the photos
racy, the soul bland.

not working? networking
A year without the
right job means it’s time to call
in the cavalry.

the lost year
Sitting out of the
action, letting precious time
slip further away.

who could’ve seen it coming?
One moment, she’s in
a great partnership. The next,
she’s running from me.

the therapist blinked
Our session went quite
smoothly, until I revealed
my true misfortune.

on his day
King would not be shocked
to find our country ready
to back a strongman.

what she left behind
A fan, a bottle
of pills, a puzzle, fancy
pillow, her house keys.

on tap everywhere
Take a sip of fresh
water, you can really taste
the microplastics.

playing the field
Swipe left, swipe right, chat
up the ladies and locate
their social profiles.

dead inside
A piece of the soul
disintegrates, making the
body immobile.

fish sticks and doughnuts
Homeless and hungry,
the wanderers came in for
food and fellowship.

dish duty
I actually
don’t mind picking up a scrub
brush and scouring plates.

five queens
Black beauties around
a table trading good vibes
and laughing it up.

the burning of the sage
Out, OUT with the bad
juju, and in with the new
hopeful energy.

the legend of the chicken hat
Left behind by new
dates, giving an excuse to
call or to visit.

in the memory care unit
Residents, guided
by helpers, make their way to
their dining room seats.

the judge will sort it out
He said, she said. Their
lawyers out for blood. Let us
settle this in court.

the enshittification of content
We can make most things
with digital tools, but we
crank out loads of slop.

revenge of the dating apps
New methods to be
humiliated, harassed
and harangued online.

message to my ex
Fuck that fucking fuck.
Hope he gets shanked in prison
and dies bleeding there.

voice tracking, but for the tv industry
Local news, weather
and sports, but with broadcasters
far removed from here.

the cold
Runny nose, sore throat,
tired, listless and sore. At
least it’s not COVID.

finding out your worth
You’re worth so much more
than a dollar amount, but
those are our values.

a family in therapy
Mother and daughters
jockey for understanding
and for the last word.

an abundance of hospitality
Family welcomes
stranger into their home for
food and gifts and fun.

a house divided
Can a couple of
political opposites
get and stay married?

new york in 4 days
Take in a few shows,
concert, hit the museums,
dine around the town.

party for two
Presents plus a cake
and takeout dinner. What a
wonderful soiree!

what i like to do
Go walking, lift weights,
watch documentaries, write
poetry, dine out.

temper tantrum
Lashing out because
of high stress becomes ugly
pattern of abuse.

otp pdq
Find the one who bonds
with you effortlessly for
your one true pairing.

empathy surplus
It’s difficult to
empathize with someone who
is all empathy.

no penpals
Her dating profile
was all business, from height to
beliefs to shoe size.

career limbo
At a stage in life
where experience and smarts
get you nowhere fast.

an expensive hobby
Going out on first
dates is fun, but going out
on second dates rocks!

5 o’clock conversations
Late afternoon was
reserved for talking about
how our dear days went.

the vanishing package
A porch pirate (or
naughty raccoon) made off with
my Amazon box.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 69

Wade Kwon — Mon, 11 Nov 2024 06:00:06 +0000

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breaking for gold
Dancers sashay to
hip hop beats, showing off and
showing up others.

friendly fire
The two disagree,
unable to budge from their
hardened perspectives.

techno wizardry
The new gizmo works
as advertised. How often
can you proclaim that?

coffeehouse day one
Brand new furniture,
sparkling appliances, good
brews ready to pour.

enemies in the office
They would be at each
other’s throats if not for the
risk to be fired.

school as a battleground
Children’s laughter fills
the hallways as teachers prep
themselves for the war.

reaching out for help
Sometimes the hardest
step is to ask someone to
lend their assistance.

the lone volunteer
He answered the phones
and kept the minutes and took
care of all the bills.

feeling good
All it takes to get
rid of depression is to
fight negative thoughts.

the halls of kiddie lit
Hardy Boys and Tom
Swift, Nancy Drew and Oz, Thing
Two and Narnia.

shun the nonbelievers
They spent their Sundays
blissfully unaware of
the power of Christ.

0/0 vision
From AC haven
to searing heat, my glasses
completely fog up.

academic grind
Classes generate
huge workload for tired students
to finish at home.

newest member of the family
White paws and black fur
with a vocabulary
of “mew mew meow.”

the empathic brother
He wept in the hope
that his oldest brother would
be happy at last.

stories to tell
Her arsenal was
no more than an array of
fantastical tales.

the breakup
She had the yearly
crisis of confidence that
led to their breakup.

choosing sides
A family breaks
apart on a fault line of
mistrust and half-truths.

familial obsession
Getting fixated
on the one member who seems
the weakest of all.

senior promise
A year to work hard,
celebrate and look back on
a high school career.

billionaire express
What rich prick are we
shooting into space today?
Let’s send all of them.

a doctor who will listen
Not too pressed for time,
willing to pay attention
and serve the patient.

to study wine
Read the label. Pour
a sample. Swish it around.
Take a sip and slurp.

rejoicing of the commenters
A resurrected
online community breathes
air of sweet freedom.

the hill you’ll die on
For a big cause or
small cause, or even if you’re
just being petty.

the life of a teacher
Grading papers and
coming up with lesson plans,
or just staying sane.

pigskin embargo
I gave up watching
football 10 years ago and
haven’t missed it since.

reservation dogs
Four teens dream of life
in California, far from
their crummy home life.

a little lotto win
Crossing state lines to
get lottery ticket, but
winnings go to gas.

it’s not a meal until you wear it
Oops! I dropped some sauce
on my nice clean shirt and I
look like a big mess.

laboring intently
If you do a good
job, they reward you with more
projects. What b.s.!

cleaning the garage
Donate, keep, trash. Keep,
trash. Donate, keep, trash. Donate,
keep, trash. Trash. Trash. Trash.

two american families
The men lost jobs in
factories. The couples work
hard to fall behind.

kid chef
Already a pro
at making burritos and
grilled cheese and ramen.

bourdain the biopic
Our favorite chef writes
books and travels the world to
celebrate cultures.

the toughest job market in years
Can’t get interviews,
can’t get call backs and can’t get
recruiters to help.

when it hurts all over
Doctors somehow fail
to treat chronic pain in an
average body.

the new hopeful
She struts onto the
field, ready to run over
her competitors.

the lesser-known hits
They play them for the
groupies and the true fans, tunes
that sound familiar.

laughter is the best lubrication
Way to overcome
social anxiety is
rubbing funny bones.

finish each other’s sandwiches
She burnt the grilled cheese,
but I ate it anyway …
it was made with love.

a drive-by reunion
They recognized each
other in an instant, did
a fist bump, then left.

return to networking
It wasn’t so bad
wading through people, drinking,
chatting up strangers.

concrete arches
Standing at the show
left us in pain for days, our
legs aching badly.

when plans don’t align
Their evening brought up
a painful realization
they couldn’t foresee.

a nation of immigrants, a nation of laws
We can’t seem to make
up our minds about a path
to citizenship.

an oven like new
Thanks to some repairs,
the oven can once again
get (and stay) heated.

quiet quitting
Fuck this job, I can’t
wait to get out and work at
another dead end.

ambushed in the office
Dispiriting words
send morale crashing in a
humbling instant.

the coolest summer of your life
It’s only gonna
get hotter from here on out.
Better buy sunscreen.

autumnal fare
Fall brings delights such
as pumpkin pie, turkey and
oodles of candy.

new habits come easily
I’ve never had a
problem starting a new plan
and sticking to it.

the surging candidate
She brought a new truth:
Never underestimate
the power of joy.

the fly trap
A bowl with orange-ish
broth luring fruit flies to an
untimely demise.

imagination to text to image
AI is the best
illustrator to capture
wildest dreams onscreen.

originality
Are we ignorant
of where ideas come from
in the first place? Hmm …

the clique
Left out on his own,
he navigates through mankind
with a wary stare.

please vote
Go register now
and be ready to cast a
vote in November.

everything’s circumstantial
Until a smoking
gun pops up, we can’t be sure
if they are guilty.

shooting up southside
Four dead, 17
wounded when gunmen shot at
patrons of club Hush.

the secret ransomware attack
The city would not
admit it was paralyzed
by Russian hackers.

the things they do with reese’s these days
Once a simple cup,
now unrecognizable
as shapes and sizes.

borrowing money from mom
She put aside her
pride and asked for a loan to
prevent disaster.

they aimed for italy
Large bureaucracy
sent them packing for a new
beginning in Spain.

the relationship sojourn
They took time apart
to figure out how to beat
their fears and foibles.

feeling unappreciated
Toiling endlessly
at work for a tiny bit
of recognition.

they fought in the car
Turn off radio,
face each other, speak gently,
listen to what’s said.

the holiday do-over
They rewarded each
other for a job well done.
A full day of fun.

spiraling
Each day, the feeling
of depression is bigger
than the one before.

afraid to speak up
Courage is needed
when it comes to voicing those
matters of the heart.

ready for halloween early
Their yard became a
cemetery overnight
way back in August.

working for the perfectionist
She would let colleagues
know about the proper way
to do everything.

aged out
How old is too old
to hold down a job? Keep
on driving? Not die?

the picture book
Assembled are great
photos from throughout the years
they spent together.

may you live in interesting times
The problem with that
is they’re too interesting
to endure longer.

death to the beater car
Don’t shoot it — a waste
of ammo. Tow it quickly
to any junkyard.

milquetoast confessions
Prefer milk over
water. Drives slowly in the
right lane. Needs glasses.

tricks 2024
Deepfake your friend in
a compromising photo.
Gaslight a lover.

project 2025
So many wicked
ideas crammed into a
political book.

pot pourri
His clothes reeked, his hair
reeked. But the officer could
not find any weed.

one way to two way
No way this one-way
should change to a two-way street.
This is not the way.

the halting road
Every 50 yards,
another stop sign ruined
the daily commute.

klepto phase
He would snag bits and
pieces from family rooms
and closets. But why?

exercise ratio
For every hour
spent sedentary, walk for
10 minutes or so.

never enough spoons
How do you use so
many spoons in the kitchen?
We *have* forks and knives.

no plan survives contact with the enemy
“Everyone has a
plan until they get punched in
the mouth.” — Mike Tyson

the telltale yawn
Tired ran across his
face as the mild evening stretched
into darkest night.

cleaning out the fridge
Shelf after shelf needs
wiping down after taking
out all the spoiled foods.

little annoyances
Having a split nail;
drivers not using blinkers;
volume up too loud.

and a 12-foot skeleton comes to life
Ghosts who haunt your house.
Bats that become vampires.
Witches casting spells.

the menu planning board
Balancing the needs
of all, while trying out some
brand new recipes.

homeless smorgasbord
Sandwiches, chips and
drinks. Tepid soup and other
assorted handouts.

modern circles of hell
Traffic, lousy weed,
digital trolling, health care,
no wifi signal.

stress won’t go away
Knotted stomach aches
while body tenses up. Each
hour, agony.

ballot box blues
Casting votes for hope
or fear, progress or regress,
woman or man-child.

the office beginning
A blur of new names
and faces. Learning passwords
and daily routines.

the missing son
He snuck out of the
house, to party all night with
friends and miscreants.

creative output
In mash notes and hot
dishes, in running errands
and taking selfies.

family squabble
They agreed to bouts
of counseling, not knowing
it would lead to fights.

the break room haven
A quiet place to
heat lunch and drink coffee, to
sit and just be there.

the biggest parade of all
Stand proud, Birmingham:
Our parade serves as the best
salute to our vets.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 68

Wade Kwon — Fri, 02 Aug 2024 05:00:06 +0000

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the war on books
It is not enough
to decry books, but to stop
others from access.

most wanted librarians
They’re outlaws because
they fight for freedom to read,
to think and to share.

a trip to the emergency room
Waiting among the
sickies to be processed and
tested and restored.

a tendency towards warm soda
They would drink cans of
Coke straight off the counter, no
ice, like weirdos. *burp*

car shopping 2024
Check out a bunch of
websites to find suitable
used cars to purchase.

the ever-tightening belt
Paycheck to paycheck,
staying afloat (barely) all
while making ends meet.

the rise of sports gambling
Bet on every score,
tackle, pitch, penalty, free
throw, fight, injury.

striking distance
Never friendly to
labor, the South finds itself
with more new unions.

bonus ticket
Invite a friend to
accompany us to the
concert this evening.

things that go wrong baking cookies
Too much of something,
an uneven oven or
butter at wrong temp.

the fraternity
Fighting one minute,
playing together the next.
brotherly love wins.

stop signs and speed bumps
The neighborhood would
no longer tolerate those
speeders on the street.

the lonely whistleblower
Her voice proclaims the
misdeeds of others, only
to be brushed aside.

driving to mexico
Get off road before
nightfall. Carry bribe money
for policía.

looking for peppadews
Wandering the aisles
and asking the employees
about this pepper.

never order the chicken salad
They make the dish with
whatever chicken scraps are
left lying around.

browsing mckay’s
Aisles of beautiful
used books, crate after crate of
albums, lots of games.

forced to use the drive-thru
We wished to order
at the counter, but they locked
the damn restaurant.

who needs a driver’s license anymore?
Kids today with their
screens and anxieties don’t
want to drive a car.

pranking gone wrong
They’re usually
just excuses to be mean
while having a laugh.

barbecue dynasty
They carried on in
their father’s name, working the
pits from early dawn.

jump higher than ever
His vertical reach
was more than before, which was
a total surprise.

possessions unloaded
Before moving, the
couple disgorged themselves of
all worldly chattels.

no more farce
Satire is no
longer possible when real
life grows outlandish.

homes for one euro
In Italy, the
oldest broken down houses
are sold for nothing.

boundless neediness
The singer begged for
applause and shouting from a
weary audience.

alcoholics synonymous
Everywhere she turned,
her friends drank themselves nearly
to death. Spirits crushed.

no one blogs anymore
It’s all TikTok and
Instagram. Not Snapchat nor
Twitter. (Some Facebook.)

coltrane’s ‘alabama’
Written to echo
King’s speech and played in tribute
to four little girls.

the storytellers on facebook
Long rambling tales of
personal loss and minor
triumphs. Hit Publish.

have i seen this before?
So many movies,
books, TV shows and bands are
hard to keep in mind.

only so many saturdays in a year
A plethora of
choices from festivals to
art shows to cook-offs.

humorous decline
My ability
to pen punchlines has failed to
keep up with the times.

how we commemorate this memorial day
Picnic, prayer, beach trip,
grilling, cleaning graves, reflect,
storytelling, “Taps.”

christmas card from 1998
Chock full of witty
statistics from my own hum
drum everyday life.

has the internet made us smarter?
We have access to
the sum total of human
knowledge on our phones.

commute under protest
Wake up, get in the
car, face traffic, find parking,
repeat at day’s end.

up next … summer
Carefree days of hot
weather, cold drinks, all under
a brilliant blue sky.

the unexpected roommate
She arrived on the
doorstep with no place to go.
She crashed on the couch.

an end to toxic relationships
No more abusive
language. No more gaslighting.
No more tolerance.

kid art
An unkempt sheaf of
old drawings gathers dust. Should
we keep them always?

dear daughter
I miss you, and I
hope you’re the one to break the
absolute silence.

the murky path forward
To bootstrap yourself
requires a menu of
tough (some bad) choices.

a potpourri of plants
Green leaves and swelling
branches bring the room to lush
life. Growth beckons us.

the gentle art of sitting outside
Despite the heat and
mosquitoes, it behooves us
to sit a spell there.

interviews and connections
A job on the line,
it all comes down to sincere
likability.

the first cruise
They boarded the huge
ship, ready to explore nooks
and crannies alike.

the bad girlfriend
She led him to wrong
choices and cackled at his
casual cruelty.

chipmunk on the loose
Strange visitor from
the outside scampers through the
unguarded kitchen.

staycation sex
Like vacation sex,
but in oddball poses and
various spaces.

waves and waves and waves
Their pool antics made
for tiny tidal waves while
they shrieked in laughter.

road trip to texas
Gas up and head west.
Follow horizon till we
end up in Lubbock.

to pay it forward
So rarely do we
get the chance to help someone
we see in ourselves.

for the love of tires
Two tires for this
car, two tires for that car.
Rolling toward debt.

the closet of ill-fitting clothes
Not a shirt nor a
pants still fit. Time for a big
fashion overhaul.

invasion of the rats
They left little gifts
on desks of unsuspecting
workers overnight.

hail the conquering webmaster
It’s not easy to
create a company site,
but she did it well.

rules of power outages
Do not open the
fridge. Do not believe the time
promised for repair.

aligning with corporate values
Do we see eye to
eye when it comes to virtue
and dignity? Aye.

antiquing on the road
Browse the aisles at quaint
repositories for some
old, old bric-a-brac.

where does the money go?
We spend it as soon
as we get it. “Flush with cash”
turns into “flat broke.”

anniversary the second
Never have I had
a partner who makes me smile
so effortlessly.

selling art
Paintings and sculptures,
photos and music. Pricing
creativity.

the agony of split nails
They get caught on just
about everything, making
healing seem hopeless.

authoritarianism 2024
The world embraces
the strongman, at a true cost
to democracy.

trash city
Bag after bag fills
the can on the street. We’re a
throw-away culture.

the paper plate experiment
Forget the dishes:
Live a little with dishware
that can disappear.

the speed of mendacity
A lie is halfway
round the world before the truth
has got its boots on.

advance memories
My dreams sometimes drift
back to the newsroom when it
all brimmed with promise.

the proper loading of a dishwasher
Cups and bowls on the
top rack; plates, bowls, utensils
and pans on bottom.

unsolicited flattery
He butters me up
with compliments and sweetest
nothings. I do blush.

gathering on the fourth
The neighborhood brings
meats, sides and desserts aligned
with last initials.

sweaty overall
The humidity’s
stuck at 100 percent
in blistering heat.

gotta have a hat
A hairnet does no
one any favors, but a
cap always fits nice.

summer of sharks
In waist-deep water
does the fierce predator lurk,
jaws at the ready.

ramble on
She would wind her way
around a sentence, with one
more set to collide.

forming an identity
Pieces combining
to denote temperament,
attitude, ego.

the kitchen grind
Cooks a blur with prep
work and firing steaks. Plate
plating after plate.

to catch a president
He’s guilty, but he
won’t see the inside of a
prison this go-round.

locking it all up
One key for the front
door, the back door, the warehouse
door and offices.

great at communication
Speaks clearly and with
humility. Listens to
every nuanced phrase.

talking-to-teen talking points
Pay attention. Do
better. Clean up your room. Take
out the trash. Grow up!

being seen is everything
I mean, just try not
being seen, an exercise
in mute frustration.

chefs
Gang of knife-wielding
sickos who smoke, drink, curse and
turn out great cuisine.

he wore a red bandanna
Around his neck, it
reminded him of a girl
with bright shiny eyes.

headsets and joysticks
Gaming online with
your best friends, total strangers
and vicious smack talk.

the malfunctioning refrigerator
It got hot, it got
cold. It couldn’t stay on task
for long periods.

unsolicited feedback
They come at you with
criticisms and jabs while
you’re trying to work.

the checklist
The charter kept him
on track for opening and
closing the office.

painting projects
This one is a blue
lobster, while this other one
is a tiger face.

face off
The two candidates
slung proposals and insults
for 90 minutes.

choice of side dish
Corn on the cob, baked
beans, turnip greens, mac and cheese,
fried okra, coleslaw.

a northern heat wave
The furnace that is
our outside arrives in the
once chill Yankee states.

ooh la la, gay paris
The City of Light
welcomes competing athletes
from the world over.

an unpredictable violence
He could lash out and
punch walls at any moment.
We tolerate it.

narrating your life
A subconscious urge
to bring order by speaking
aloud mundane tasks.

waiting for updates
Check email. Wait. Grind
teeth. Wait some more. Check email.
No news is no news.

shield me from the microwave
You can’t convince me
that it ain’t bombarding me
with radiation.

radiation and the modern phone
Supergadget or
mini-nuclear reactor
for pocket cancer?

both sides now
He felt it best to
prep for the conversation
using a checklist.

morsels for the mind
What do we feed on
that helps stimulate the brain?
Smart choice, smarter us.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 67

Wade Kwon — Tue, 23 Apr 2024 05:00:06 +0000

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the clique round the office
Splinter group lunches
together and shares their best
inside jokes and memes.

giving back giving forward
Spend the time to help
those in your community
who need a kind deed.

suing the family
Where has the stepdad
hidden loot promised to the
next generation?

beacons in an analog world
With no cell service,
they charged their phones only to
use them as flashlights.

sharing the photo albums
The residents burst
to life as they gazed at old
pictures from their youth.

forcing myself to stay present
It’s too easy to
zone out with a phone or book
and miss life as is.

coffee nook
Huddled over a
small table, they shared their lives
with lattes and love.

a daughter’s willfulness
She could be careless
with a stray barb, her meanness
as a defense move.

dad at a distance
Without custody,
he was just a stranger who
popped up at random.

the lonely garbage can
The cart, always with
a little trash, was missed each
time the truck rolled by.

bed of theseus
She planned to swap out
sheets, pillows and mattresses
to suit her own style.

when introverts collide
They gave each other
the space needed to renew
from together time.

escaping country
Too many hicks who
think they know about the world
and shout it out loud.

the spare freezer
A hiding spot for
popsicles of all stripes and
fresh chicken livers.

the fate of democracy
What’s at stake? Just our
free and fair elections which
allow us to rule.

the magic of stir fry
Lots of chopping, a
little peanut oil, 5
minutes in the wok.

the streamer’s goodbye
It is not enough
to cancel a show … Remove
it entirely.

a tough room
The jokes came with few
laughs; an audience of one
remained unamused.

white history vs. black history
One is a complete
fairytale, the other is
the absolute truth.

fair warning
Hey, if you didn’t
want to be in a poem,
don’t date a poet.

the fallible mechanic
It took a few tries
before the car was running
smoothly once again.

the threat of ice
Roads without treatment
become deadly slick with a
slightly frozen rain.

at build-a-bear
Stuffed companions rise
from tables of child labor
and inspiration.

separation anxiety
Don’t stay away too
long, for I shall melt down in
to a wan puddle.

ai shortcuts
Write a love poem
or draw a flaming castle
with unicorn heads.

frozen pizza excavation
It tasted much worse
than normal cardboard pie. We
tossed it in the trash.

tiktok addiction
Flip through videos,
all while consuming junk and
skin and dumb dad jokes.

driving in downtown atlanta at night with google maps
Speed up, slow down, miss
the turn again. Drive in a
bike lane, pray for us.

fleeing north korea
Harrowing journey
through the wilds of China and
other Asian lands.

the birthday weekend
Hours of fun and
cuddles, a band, a movie
and a homemade cake.

happy galentine’s day
Celebrate women
and their grand accomplishments
and their awesomeness!

types of love
Friendly, romantic,
playful, self, familial,
neurotic, endless.

credit card scheme
Sign up and take the
bonus. Wait for another
offer and repeat.

the flat out front
The car with the bum
tire decorated the
quiet one-way street.

the unyielding zipper
Caught menacingly
on the crotch of my black long
johns, foul metal trap.

dreaming of a spring garden
Hoarding seeds, making
compost, envisioning all
the green vegetables.

the looming election
Will enough people
vote? Will they help save our frag-
ile democracy?

constant darkness
Polar oddity:
days and days without any
sunlight. Endless night.

poor things
Emma Stone transforms
from a large toddler into
a Frankenhooker.

barbie
Plastic doll endures
existential crisis that
spurs patriarchy.

oppenheimer
Science nerds convene
in desert to orchestrate
a really big bang.

state vs. state
Abortion seekers,
immigrants and trans youth lurch
across state borders.

the great american ban-a-thon
Libraries become
battleground over books that
possess real knowledge.

burn it down
Oppressive systems
create hardship when making
Hollywood magic.

magic city graffiti
Overpasses and
walls tagged with an uplifting
“You are beautiful.”

1-d chess
The battle of wits
was no more than a skirmish
of teeny IQs.

misfit day for misfit play
Take a day to leap
for joy and celebrate the
wonders of our lives.

the bad book
Written, then stolen,
a manuscript published un-
der false pretenses.

the show must not go on
Dancers take flight. But
after long intermission,
the gig is canceled.

subscription models everywhere
From streaming vids to
heated seats, the world runs on
tokens, more tokens.

airplane mode
Knees aching, eyes dry,
air stagnant, smartphone useless,
and armed with pretzels.

keeping up with the chinese
Rivals for money,
power and population.
Who wins, who loses?

the yummiest bowl
You pick the fixins,
they cook them on a round grill,
you eat the results.

the nasty office sink
Get it together!
Wash the coffee mugs, and put
away the dry ones.

city of the sun
Streets aligned with the
stars and the moon, pointing to
a higher power.

the color purple
Learn to love yourself,
despite all of the hatred,
abuse, jealousy.

designated cook
Rummage through the fridge
and find us something we can
eat for our dinner.

winter’s last gasp
Winds howl, and rain pours.
We shiver from the icy
cold season again.

an ip world
We’ll never have to
come up with original
work ever again.

ai job hunting
“Smart” robot sifts through
online listings to find a
suitable posting.

the dirtiest microwave
All six sides covered
in grease, with a turntable
caked with gunk and grime.

a hole in the wall
Fist-sized openings
display a raw timeline of
anger and violence.

saving in the twenties
The ant squirrels away
money, while the grasshopper
will not retire.

football mania
This bruising sport has
never been more popular
with the whole dang world.

disability rights and you
At any moment,
we can join the ranks of the
disabled. Fight now.

welcome back
The flowers and trees,
birds and animals come out
of hiding for spring.

the dying treadmill
Each day’s journey is
a little shorter, barely
worth putting on shoes.

escape is imminent
We no longer have
to stay within our prisons
of the soul and mind.

10,000 steps
Walk a few miles while
stuck at your desk or out on
an hour-long lunch.

blind spots
Even when we try
to be better people, we
fall short of our goals.

trauma is just a state of mind
Surviving (barely)
unspeakable horror leaves
residual pain.

head to the beach
Pack up the car, and
point it south. The ocean and
cold beer are waiting.

paint it till it’s perfect
It wasn’t quite the
shade of green needed, so we
started all over.

an abundance of gift cards
Save a few bucks here,
a few bucks there. Soon, it adds
up to real money.

creative parking
No ticket or tow
truck will deter me from the
perfect outlaw spot.

bless these food stamps
Getting to eat, one
of the highlights of being
unemployed for months.

the human pillow
Aggressive felines
relax on warm body, not
on ample bedspread.

making paella
The trick is to let
the rice cook for awhile to
get that crisp bottom.

17-syllable tabloid
There’s only so much
drama I can stuff into
three short lines of verse.

let us rejoice
With all the bad that’s
surrounding us, let us be
grateful for good things.

an extra helping of depression
It masks itself in
extra sleep and slowly drains
my vitality.

looming deadline
Pressure’s on, gotta
make sure the project stays on
track till the finish.

the joy of being near
I follow her from
room to room like a lovesick
pup wagging his tail.

fear of an ai world
Mankind obsolete
in a digital hellhole
that we created.

pocket foods
Morsels encased in
pastry — baked, fried or steamed — from
all diverse cultures.

malady compounded
She told the doctor
about her chronic pain. He
said that it’s just pain.

the drivable money pit
A radiator.
The front suspension. Costly
repairs will not stop.

one key short
One stupid lock stands
in the way. Curse these tumblers
keeping us outside.

oversharing unlimited
We have this habit
of sharing the most private
secrets while online.

the flour massacre
They were just trying
to get food when they were gunned
down in the open.

the local rate
When companies pay
less for the same work performed,
that’s a big red flag.

tax the billionaires
No plutocrat I
know opposes it. Send them
the bill right away.

the broken-down washer
We swapped the old one
for the new one, only to
find the new one choked.

unneeded pressure
She found the added
coercion unhelpful and
stressful at the least.

queen of predictions
Gazing into the
crystal ball, she made guesses
about the future.

dessert for days
Enough sweets to feed
an army (or two) looking
for a final course.

tween rockers
Their fledgling fame starts
and ends with a promo pic
on a cookie box.

the war over drugs
It is one thing to
legalize pot, another
to get it started.

the pool is open
Alert the lifeguards
and get out the deck chairs. It’s
time to go swimming.

dei gratia
Working to include
everyone threatens only
those with privilege.

death of a college
Entire campus
swallowed by debt, and students
flee to other schools.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 66

Wade Kwon — Sat, 13 Jan 2024 06:00:06 +0000

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parking entrepreneurs
They tow all makes with
enthusiasm and greed.
What a slimy scam.

surprise, it’s wholesome
Click on a cartoon
to discover heartwarming
vibes and pure intent.

love your body
We mourn what shape we
could have been and fret over
the shape we’re in now.

the gift card that never came
Checked the mailbox each
day for a special surprise.
All I got was junk.

matching glasses, matching tennies
We look so cute side
by side in identical
pairs of specs and sneaks.

where did we park again?
I placed the pin in
the map app, but it led us
to an empty lot.

the time to go costume shopping is 2 weeks ago
Getting down to the
crummy outfits and props left
on the empty shelves.

bones all the way down
Scare the kids with a
massive show of creepiness …
12-foot skeleton!

ode to big brother
To the blindsides and
vetoes, the hook-ups and back
doors, and showmances!

writers vs. chatgpt
No way John Henry
could shovel as much crap as
the modern AI.

strikes across america
The labor movement
is reawakening with
vigor and vision.

dishwasher on strike
No more scrubbing pots
and pans, rinsing utensils
or spraying soiled plates.

pivot to video
On the one hand, too
cumbersome and dull. On the
other hand, TikTok.

shiny new fences
Plank by plank they went
up, to hide their hideous
yards from the neighbors.

tricks 2023
Egg their electric
car; ask if treats are keto
friendly; indict them.

the parade of t-shirts
Her love of music
shone brightest in the shirts she
wore to big concerts.

if i should fall down
Call the police, call
the paramedics and get
me some painkillers.

the hits of yesteryear
I remember most
of the songs charted in my
adolescent days.

too weak to declutter
Stuff stays stuff because
the alternative is to
get rid of some stuff.

the chores no mores
You could clean the house,
do laundry, wash dishes. Or
live in grownup filth.

the tracker
Know where your loved ones
are at all times, or until
they turn off the app.

most popular weirdos
They seem to be the
It Couple when it comes to
eclectic groupies.

rocket rest area
North Alabama
along I-65 stands
a Saturn 1B.

halloween 2023
A million Barbies
and Kens in a sea of pink
outfits and cocktails.

we’re all shilling something
Artwork, classes, books,
pimento cheese, necklaces,
essential oils.

first amendment
Freedom of speech, press,
religion, assembly and
call on government.

candy opus
There’s nothing like Trick
or Treating in the wild and
receiving full bars.

the annual sickness
From outta nowhere,
a sore throat and an achy
head to wreck my week.

at the movies with taylor swift
Thirty-foot-tall star
struts and sings with the whole world
singing along, too.

rain at the amphitheater
Waiting for the band,
a storm swoops in to drench us
for a few minutes.

the age of streaming
They used to bundle
channels. Now they bundle shows
and movies. Can’t win.

the power of now
Measuring time in
minutes? Try moments to keep
you present always.

keep your unpopular opinions to yourself
Eastern Europe, the
Middle East, reparations,
abortion and guns.

peak fall
Wrapped in a sweater,
walking through leaves with a hot
mug of fresh cider.

humanitarian pauses
When we stop for a
moment and let people live
without doubt or fear.

not everything has to be a musical
A book to a film
to a sequel to a play
to another film.

women and poc and queer artists
See their movies, buy
their books, hit their concerts and
spend to support them.

those who have seen war
Those who have seen war
clamor for peace and friendship
among our nations.

forgot priming
Move all furniture,
tape all edges, put down tarps,
mix a color, paint.

nose-to-tail dining
A piece of chicken
gnawed to the bone. Very clean
and very Asian.

the interminable job listing
Must have these 20
skills. Five years experience.
For “entry level.”

crumbs everywhere
On the seat and in
the folds of clothing. On the
floor and round the mouth.

more options than time
Do power users
learn all the shortcuts? Or do
they make do with some?

no encores
The house lights came on.
The audience stopped clapping.
The house lights came on.

waiting for the tow truck
Smoke is coming from
the engine. At least nothing
is on fire. Yet.

the right analogy
It can crystallize
a thought or lock in a way
to visualize.

the perception of crime
Are these streets safe? It
all comes down to personal
experiences.

inflation deflation
Shopping at the store
brings shock after sticker shock.
Just trying to eat.

the invisible pedestrians
They walk in the tall
shadows of night, not very
streetwise nor secure.

no strangers at the table
Breaking bread, sharing
wine. All are welcome at this
motley gathering.

unleash the mariah
I just want you … Make
my wish come true. All I want
for Christmas is you.

celebrity memoirs
Before they were some-
body, they were nobody.
Everybody cheer.

hot christmas gifts 2023
Some kitchen device,
bitcoin gift card, custom soap,
bulletproof clothing.

the world is slowly dying
A warming Earth needs
not an infestation of
us callous mammals.

the seventeenth best leader
Sometimes you gotta
lower your standards to put
anyone in charge.

tv as homework
Watch each show with a
notebook to remember all
the names and events.

kicked off tiktok
Stand up for what you
believe and be lumped in with
all the cranks and scum.

life in a food desert
Surrounded by fast
food and gas marts, unable
to buy fresh items.

the cardboard rainbow
Picking paint colors
from dozens of shades of green
and gray leaves me blue.

painting the rec room
Tape down the edges.
Don’t drip on the carpet! Make
sure the paint’s even.

to kill a mockingbird
Small town justice plays
out before a young girl’s eyes
in the dark Deep South.

too many apps
One for banking, one
for texting, one for social
media et al.

modern christmas shopping
Visit stores and sites
or give all your money to
Amazon.com?

i’m not comfortable in this body
The shape I’m in is
unrecognizable to
my earlier self.

do re mi ay ay ay
Forget the hits. Hang
on to novelty songs that
unite us in hate.

mr. fixit
He can take any
household project and turn it
into one less chore.

exercising privilege
I can ignore things
in the news and retreat to
my secret safe space.

apartheid state
Those in power keep
residents under foot through
violent enforcement.

lessons in love
Learning that you are
capable of giving and
receiving true love.

the suspect mold
Becoming tired
from out of nowhere. Having
trouble with breathing.

counting my spoons
Plan for the day: Take
out the trash. Eat leftovers.
Spot clean the bathroom.

setting boundaries
No, Mom, you can’t talk
to me that way. It’s over
the line and too harsh.

the recurring trip to the in-laws
Oh, the terrible
food and mandatory group
pic. Family sucks.

the cooking equation
A question of base
ingredients, prep tools and
time before dinner.

forming habits
Incremental change
brings gradual but steady
improvement each day.

a chance to shine
We all need a chance
to shine, to show off our skills
and benevolence.

what we have left of the year
Not counting weekends
and holidays, no time left
to dillydally.

the darkness and the coldness
Let winter come. Let
it bury us in chilly
nights. Let winter come.

their christmas day tradition
Hit the cineplex
to watch the worst movie while
giggling in horror.

fancy scoops
The chefs conspired
on gourmet ice cream flavors
never seen before.

even kwanzaa and hanukkah
Multicultural
Santa respects and loves all
holiday customs.

joy to this world
I used to have the
holiday spirit. Got to
get that back somehow.

appointments of fate
What planner you pick
determines if your new year
goes well or badly.

the creature in the crawl space
Some animal is
roaming down there and leaving
gifts of poo and stank.

the tiniest country
It sits atop an
offshore platform and boasts a
robust royalty.

banned words, 2023 edition
AI, X, EGOT,
ChatGPT, FYP
and dystopian.

the joy of creation
Words and music, knives
and paintings, whatever you
make really matters.

the party to end all parties
Let’s have one more toast
to celebrate before it’s
2024.

a clean slate
Time to start anew.
New hopes, new dreams and new goals.
The new year awaits.

will there be enough time this year?
For getting enough
exercise, reading books or
planting a garden.

pretend snow
A pretend blizzard
with a pretend fire for
a pretend snuggle.

will it start?
Press the button. No.
Press it again. No. Press. No.
Press. No. Press. Yes. Whew.

crisp $100 bills
Barely used, always
welcome. Peel them off and show
everyone who’s boss.

life in a war zone
Crowding in basements,
feeling the booms of shelling,
too aware of death.

gift card jubilee
Where to eat and drink,
to shop and spend this heaping
virtual bounty.

mom in the wild
Nurtures, but also
accuses. Sometimes friendly
but also prickly.

kid chefs
A kitchen alive
with activity as they
whip up gourmet meals.

midlife crisis van trip
Gone for 3 days to
find himself. Only to come
back still douchey.

escape with fiction
Enough self help! She
wants to lose herself in a
mystery romance.

the helper
Issuing gentle
reminders, keeping eyes on
the clock, pitching in.

those darn personality tests
They purport to show
our true selves. But they distort
our complex nature.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 65

Wade Kwon — Wed, 04 Oct 2023 05:00:06 +0000

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not-so-temporary classrooms
Learning in trailers,
an age-old tradition for
overcrowded schools.

the haunted bathroom
The toilet would flush
by itself, because ghosts need
to relieve themselves.

battle of the deplorables
They jabbed in comment
sections and heaped insults on
those they found too “woke.”

rip tina turner
She prowled the stage as
the queen of rock ‘n’ roll no
matter the decade.

the morning pledge
Never too soon to
get the school children voicing
patriotism.

say what, grandma?
She asked if I knew
how to speak the language; I
just shook my head no.

ai ex machina
Dost thou require
sustenance? ERROR ERROR
ARCHAIC LANGUAGE

the tale of the billionaire submarine
Suddenly, their steel
coffin implodes over the
briny ocean floor.

gathering of the neighborhood
They came with chairs and
dishes to celebrate and
watch the fireworks.

mongolian barbecue explained
The chefs take your bowl
of fixins and fry it on
a circular grill.

the summer of leisure
Watch bonfires, play
video games, sleep in and
eat whatever’s there.

plans for the future
Higher learning or
trade school? Move out or stay home?
Get job or study?

flirting with menus
He would text her the
link to restaurants and wait
for her decision.

the ungrateful undead
Elderly dad huffs
at daughter, the volunteer
caregiver for years.

sweat everywhere
On the forehead and
chest, in the pits and butt crack,
dripping dripping wet.

the fallen watermelon
The gourd crashed into
the kitchen floor, leaving chunks
of red everywhere.

punching up, punching down
One is funny, and
the other is scoring laughs
without dignity.

the job no one wanted
They went back and forth,
disagreeing over who
was more qualified.

the alumni gathering
They got off Facebook
long enough to exchange toasts
and share old stories.

i have only my imagination
My brain takes me to
crazy situations and
exotic places.

barry
Hitman turned actor
discovers himself onstage
and can knock ’em dead.

bye bye, braces
Metal contraption
making teeth straighter comes off
with nary a scratch.

party math
Number of guests times
units of food divided
by flavor appeal.

darkest timeline
Doomscrolling poisoned
by suggested followers,
dumb posts, sundry ads.

enshittification of the internet
Build a great product,
then let it rot as they hone
in on short-term gains.

writers’ strike, day 81
Writers have always
struggled with getting fair pay
for all they create.

the struggle to find meaningful work
The job listings run
together in a blur of
keywords and must-haves.

escape to nashville
Head down to Broadway
and check out honky-tonks with
their blaring music.

prescription hassles
Tried mailing it and
faxing it and calling it
in. Just want my drugs.

finding scapegoats
We can’t blame ourselves.
The responsibility
goes to another.

greedflation
When they raise prices
just because they can, it’s a
struggle to get by.

cop city
A police training
site that the people don’t want
in their wooded lot.

wither the absurdist?
We’ll always need a
dose of comedy in some
unexpected ways.

what is the nature of creativity?
Imitation or
originality? Where
does it all come from?

the spend-the-night bag
Pajamas, mouth guard,
book and saline solution
for a night from home.

fifty years of hip hop
Bronx born with rapping,
DJing, graffiti and
break dancing in one.

there’s a better poem here somewhere
First draft needs a lot
of revision to make it
to its final draft.

global boiling
Last month will be the
hottest month ever until
this month breaks records.

hottest trend of the summer
AC repairman
sweats it out each house call as
he brings back coolness.

barbecue wings on wheels
Rolling through the town
to bring lunch options to some
hungry office folk.

who still uses cash?
Cash is king, except
dealing with those coins and bills
ain’t worth the hassle.

who still uses checks?
Let me go find my
checkbook and a pen and write
out the transaction.

roadtrip to atlanta
Watch the clock so we
can time our arrival to
avoid rush hour.

summer sleep schedule
The sheer delights of
staying up late and rising
whenever you choose.

the hottest auditorium
Movie fans sweat it
out for 2 hours in a
room without AC.

school will never be the same again
Who needs thinking when
you have AI to do your
homework in a blink?

the kidnapping that wasn’t
She claimed to see a
baby on the road and led
officers astray.

the unintended consequences
Roe v. Wade is dead,
as are women who have been
denied basic care.

reading round the clock
Plenty of time for
binging and doomscrolling, need
to make time for books.

the comedian’s decline
The punchlines need to
be punchier, lest the laughs
become scantier.

bojack horseman
Former sitcom star
spends his days aimlessly drunk
and melancholy.

even worse than the court of public opinion
The court of public
opinion in the age of
social media.

walking for peace
They traveled from North
to South Korea through the
DMZ gauntlet.

the historymakers
Black notables grant
interviews about their lives
for posterity.

pick a direction!
They agonized for
weeks about the new project.
Deciding was tough.

the external lung
Strap your face into
the silent contraption that
breathes life into sleep.

mostly couples goofing around
A strange assortment
of TikToks and Reels that bring
smiles and make your day.

fun around the pool
Float around with friends,
sipping coladas, swatting
insects, keeping cool.

smoke gets in your eyes
Gas crisis: We choke
on bad air from fires a
continent away.

long distance affair
She ran off to be
with her married lover, just
to end up alone.

a life beyond numbers
Up until this point,
he depended on stats to
manage him daily.

the sleep clinic
Take a bed, get wired
up and go to sleep. In the
morning, some answers.

the goat of mountain brook
Billy scampered to
unknown streets, finding ways to
escape his captors.

ads are everywhere
A flower blossoms.
Try new Metamucil Plus.
The petals shine bright.

an almost concert
The show must go on,
except when the artist is
too sick to perform.

down with patriarchy
Let men run the world,
they said. What could possibly
go awry, they said.

summer’s end
Pack up the swimsuits,
put away the sunblock, get
ready for the fall.

the day the ac died
Sob in horror as
the house transforms into a
gigantic oven.

a billionaire’s whims
Indulge in petty
payback while desperately
trying to seem cool.

mercury northward
Next year, we’ll look back
on this summer as coolest
one in our lifetimes.

kickin’ ass for the working class
Join together and
fight the greedy CEOs
for a bigger slice.

drive-through and through
The big revamp leads
to a restaurant with more
cars, fewer diners.

foodie fantasy
I want to try all
the restaurants, if I can
find them when open.

somebody hates these cans
These cans are begging
to be organized, not just
left there on some shelf.

on forgetfulness
I seem to have lost
track of recent memories,
the scope I don’t know.

have you tried not socializing?
We could go out, or
spend the evening quietly
in our fine jammies.

could’ve sworn it was a parking lot
Before anyone
realized it, a surprise
Waffle House popped up.

did we win the war on terror?
Seems like we gave the
terrorists more reasons to
fight back everywhere.

analysis paralysis
Too many choices
leaves us unable to pick
one among the crowd.

feeling blah
Depression sometimes
lurks as demotivation
to do anything.

painting in the warehouse
A sweaty, dusty
task turning black to white in
several even coats.

on the 60th
Addie Mae, Carole,
Cynthia and Denise, may
they rest in power.

foot-in-mouth disease
Without trying, he
managed to insult most of
the staff. What a dolt.

four indictments
Such is the state of
our democracy when one
leader’s out on bail.

the hidden weight
She refused to step
on a scale, the tyranny
of numbers ended.

atomic nightmare
Unleashing the bomb
has brought us to the brink of
nuclear holocaust.

a day at the cineplex
Warm popcorn and cold
soda, heated seats and fun
fans. Roll the movies!

the overnight guests
They need a respite
from the stuffy abode and
myriad of pets.

lo–fi hip–hop beats to study/relax to
Late into the night,
he pored over his textbooks
looking for answers.

fall is coming
Fall is coming. Fall
is here. Fall is a blessing
each and every year.

gathering in nashville
Four friends hit the town
for musical adventures
and grand fellowship.

birthday boy
He brought his buddies
to the pool where they could swim,
splash and celebrate.

the yelling kind
Screaming rage sets off
my anxiety, a fear
reaction triggered.

withering inspiration
Someday, the muse will
stop dropping by and all things
creative will die.

game show dreams
Let me guess the price
of a waterbed, so I
can win on TV.

people who need church the most
“Jesus was a dang
lib’rul, needs to toughen up
against illegals.”

double duty
Why wash the dishes
before sticking them in the
dishwasher? No clue.

the awful waffle
Small booths and semi-
filthy bar await diners
starving for vittles.

ova here
Hard boiled, over
easy, scrambled, hollandaise,
omelette and just raw.

senior discount
The older you are,
the more you can save by just
being not dead yet.

what is a cult?
A charismatic
leader working on raising
funds and brainwashing.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 64

Wade Kwon — Sun, 25 Jun 2023 05:00:06 +0000

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getting lucky
Luck can be found in
a four-leaf clover or a
session of hard work.

the long detour
She missed the turn but
cheerfully announced that we’d
get there soon enough.

kinda like macrotransactions
Microtransactions
give unfair advantages
to those who can pay.

to renew ourselves
Blossom in the sun.
Breathe deep the seasonal air.
Bounce toward the new.

videosis
The algorithm
feeds us reel after reel as
we stare in stupor.

the youngest leader in the world
She will stand up to
dictators and still get down
with her compadres.

the forever artist
The machine cranks out
Picassos in the style of
modern day Rembrandt.

defense against the dark artists
What will deter the
all-consuming computer
from scanning it all?

the woman who tore down women
Assured in her own
gender, the author decried
others as faux girls.

peddling lies
Even they couldn’t
be bothered to feign interest
in the dreck they sold.

school’s out for springtime
Sleep in and play games.
Put homework and studying
on the back burner.

and for her next job …
A better health plan,
more time off and, of course, a
bigger salary.

brunch impossible
All the late risers
and church folk eyed the waiting
list with deep hunger.

paperwork of getting older
Where do we keep our
accounts? Who’s our main doctor?
What are the passwords?

the old man at the door
She found him in need,
as ungrateful as ever.
Still, she didn’t run.

the lost art of pranks
Have we lost our touch
with practical jokes and their
hilarious ends?

well-publicized trysts
Their encounters caught
on pics were the only proof
of enduring love.

new flavors of every food
Weird potato chips,
cereals from candy bars
and mincemeat cookies.

return to office or else
Bosses need someone
to boss around, have under
foot, doing the work.

lunacy in the bedroom
The grunts and flailing
limbs, awkward positions and
preposterous faces.

happy birthday, jen!
Older and wiser,
happier and sexier,
primed for a great year.

other birminghams
Michigan, Kansas,
England, Indiana and
three in Ohio.

the landfill fire
Bad garbage with good,
set aflame and still smoking
after all these months.

the pastel ritual of spring
Easter bunnies and
spring chickens team up to hide
fancy eggs from kids.

i’m an introvert ama
I like to talk one-
on-one and explore the vast
reaches of the mind.

making radio
A cup of coffee,
some fresh tunes, a hot mic and
a little banter.

flea market finds
Branded candles and
patriotic flags, T-shirts
and some handmade soaps.

home movies
Why bother with the
pricy theater when we
can watch on streaming?

shopping mall makeover
A new store here, a
refurbished store there. Shoppers
flock to their havens.

the intuitive eater
Listen closely and
you will hear your body ask
for the correct food.

compulsive saving
Squirreling away stray
dollars in case of rainy
year. It pays to save.

hot flashes, cold stares
The bed is too hot.
The bed is too cold. The bed
is not to blame, dear.

your tax dollars at work
Give every paycheck
and give more at tax time and
get cheap governance.

the tattered yard
Mud holes surrounded
by sprouting weeds and patchy
grass. Needs an upgrade.

she takes good care of me
A place for me to
unwind, to be fed, to be
treated like a king.

tornado alley
Beware the darkened
skies and nearby polygons
for they bring ill winds.

the reign of the drag queens
A man in a dress.
But won’t somebody please think
about the children?

the case of the $80 cinnamon rolls
Apparently the
kind rich folks eat on their yachts
while sipping champagne.

standing room only
A sea of bobbing
heads, a breeze of skunky weed,
a band set to rock.

to the dump
The pickup only
gets AM, hauling off our
treasured pile of junk.

the great car cleanup
We reach over and
under seats to collect the
mountains of discards.

gen pop
Alabama builds
more prisons while the people
suffer in silence.

the super closet
The wire shelves and
baskets give every item
a place to hang out.

puppy training pays off
The obedient
dog demonstrates his newfound
calmer demeanor.

shorties at a concert
Enjoy the back of
someone’s head while sipping on
an overpriced beer.

the poet’s charade
Is this really a
verse about me or someone
else? It’s up to you.

weaponizing southernness
Who are these weirdos
selling biscuits in our back
yard? Pricy and twee.

jackass, md
He barely glances
at the patient and huffs that
he’s late to dinner.

all growing because of climate change
Hurricanes, fires,
droughts, rain showers, heat waves, floods,
blizzards, tornadoes.

but i don’t get dance
Their artistry moves
you, their athleticism
inspires wonder.

the death of a potato chip dynasty
The damn yankees snatched
up a hometown favorite
just to watch it die.

the hardest person to forgive
You screw up, and you
get upset. But it’s OK
to be imperfect.

dead to the world
He would not get up,
despite the yelling and the
banging on the door.

the next big leap
Ready for a change,
stepping out into the world
of books, beer, BAs.

football on skates
Drop the puck, y’all, and
let the brawl commence. Even
the South loves hockey.

fail, fall, fool
Will it be a good
summer if you’re repeating
the 10th grade?

counting macros
This bite will cost me
18 calories and an
extra 20 reps.

summer’s coming
Only a few more
school days to go till the great
forgetting begins.

don’t pay me in candy, weirdo
I expected cash.
Instead, I got a Twix and
a goddamn Mars bar.

journey on the mississippi
Paddling along the
grand waterway in search of
an old legacy.

living in trailers
A cheap version of
the American dream, home
sweet mobile home.

too much celebrating at janet jackson
The party guy is
carefully escorted from
his seat to the door.

the vinyl vanguard
Fans who want a piece
of the artist collect disks
of recorded songs.

hot to trot
Several suitors
vie for sexy time with a
foxy bachelorette.

the graduate 2023
BA in TikTok
with minor in CRT,
ready for the real world.

tcby not
Everyone has that
one business they can’t support
because it sucks bad.

learn the ropes
Knots: fun to tie, hard
to remember, not just for
Boy Scouts and sailors.

ode to my therapist
Listening to my
nonsense and giving tips for
over a decade.

listening is a superpower
It takes focus and
selflessness. We must truly
engage with others.

careful folding
Perfect creases turn
common paper into a
magnificent crane.

cookout prep
Scrape the grill, prep the
meat, stock up on charcoal and
locate the lighter.

streamer’s paradise
An effortless way
with words, a gift for wasting
precious time online.

gendered ghetto
When you don’t fit the
standard categories for
awards in your field.

addicted to combat
If the U.S, is
good at one thing, it’s fighting
in war after war.

ticketma$ter
An artist must sell
tickets, but must they use the
worst company? Yes.

the challenge of cheap social media
To learn more about
us, endlessly scroll through our
random Instagram.

on strike
Writers bond while on
the picket line, gathering
momentum each day.

dietary needs
More sugar, more carbs,
a radical change in what
I consume daily.

amphibians after hours
Tiny frogs hopping
into the pool to play and
swim all through the night.

tome sweet tome
She searched box after
box, looking for an old book
that’s been on her mind.

green tea at the japanese supermarket
It’s here somewhere in
the aisles, hiding among a
bevy of products.

date night
Get gussied up for
an evening of fancy drinks
and lavish dining.

moping around the house
Too alone with no
plans, no activities, just
me and depression.

a fitness competition
Who can do the most
sit-ups, squats and miles? Winner
gets a hernia.

murder city
Bullets are flying,
people are dying, and the
cops are in the dark.

summer travel pro tip
Better get to the
airport early, so they can
cancel your first flight.

carbon zero
Take out all the stray
dioxide and pump it straight
into solid ground.

spirited away: the drama
Master film becomes
whole new beast as staged play with
fantastic puppets.

try this one stupid trick to vanquish censorship
Banned books are the best
books, but you’ll have to find that
out all on your own.

what a drag brunch
Fabulous ladies
bring mimosas, croon Gaga
and spread love to all.

baker’s lament
The layers aren’t quite
flat enough, and the icing
is full of loose crumbs.

attention deficit
We compete for her
favor, thinking up ways to
win her heart and mind.

a depressive state
Not so much dreaded
as defeated. Familiar
feeling of the funk.

the block of new garbage cans
Up and down the street,
they stand at attention for
the garbage truck’s hook.

mid-morning bathroom break
He came from nowhere
to use the facilities,
slipping out softly.

correspondence corner
It’s always nice to
get a thank you note, written
with care and kindness.

summer is here
Sprinklers and lightning
bugs, cold drinks and barbecues,
longer days for fun.

phantom boxcars
The alarms clanged with
the gates down, but no train passed
through the lone crossing.

roe v. wade, 1973-2022
Five justices quashed
women’s reproductive rights
in a single vote.

the first anniversary
Today, we drink to
our couplehood after 1
year of lovely dates.

for the siskels and eberts
Can a critic who
hates the work offer a good,
fair-minded review?

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 63

Wade Kwon — Thu, 16 Mar 2023 05:00:06 +0000

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death of a friendship
They couldn’t see each
other as they are now, but
as who they were then.

stages of braces
Anticipation,
soreness, weird accent, soreness,
swishing out food bits.

it all comes down to a sliver of voters
Everyone sticks to
their parties, and a group of
moderates then chooses.

crucial conversations
Moving from fight or
flight to safety for all who
fill up knowledge pool.

final stages
He’s going to talk
with his dad about elder
care choices to come.

exploring the world of food
They tried every new
restaurant, reading menus,
picking cool dishes.

the return of beavis and butt-head
Teenage duo wreak
havoc while cracking jokes at
music videos.

the little burrito shop
A family-run
place where the burritos rule
and the tacos strut.

where’s the mistletoe?
A sprig can lead to
a first kiss can lead to one
more kiss can lead to …

funny ornaments
Old school art projects,
sports mascots, talking cartoons
and assorted kitsch.

it’s the bought that counts
Gift cards are perfect
for control freaks: Spend this much
at only this place.

tiktok: where issues go to die
If it’s not happy
happy, if it spotlights a
cause, it’s banned all right.

four bags of clothes
One to donate, one
to trash. One to sell, one to
give to a dear friend.

but who will stand for the white man?
Embracing the right’s
Christian nationalism
makes for holy war.

war crimes in ukraine
Putin brandishes
his military might by
killing families.

visions of winter
Southerners dream of
snow, but wake up to icy
nightmares all around.

thermodynamically deficient
Shivering around
the house, in the car, at the
store. Always too cold.

shopping maul
Should we still look for
the perfect gift, or will we
make do with these socks?

virtual lap, virtual ear
Santa takes time to
field last-minute Zoom calls from
those good boys and girls.

a christmas wish
Could we lay down the
guns for a day and start a
little peace on earth?

thirty marvel movies and counting
Are we tired of
movies based on comic books?
Watch IP freely.

what i did in 2022
Met my girlfriend, got
new job and computer, paid
off all debt, walked miles.

hankering for tales, tall and otherwise
More people are swayed
by compelling stories than
dry facts on their own.

over before it started
Let’s resolve to make
ourselves better in— Screw it
and pass the cheesecake.

closing the year in a tizzy
Spending the last week
hurriedly trying to do
everything listed.

the quiet countdown
Nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one. Happy
New Year, we whisper.

new year’s wish
Hoping for growth, peace
and all things wonderful in
2023.

pandemic year four
The virus surges,
and the death toll rises. Why
aren’t we doing more?

photos of who i am now
The most glaring change
is the biggest smile that you’ve
ever partaken.

old knees
The legs work fine, save
for creaky joints that sometimes
need a little rest.

gingerbread housing
The roof leaks icing,
the windows are all muddy,
the walls are falling.

pocket computers
Use them to record
moments, calculate bearings,
learn about the world.

suggested food trucks
Pancakes, whiskey snow
cones, pies, chitlins, kimchi and
deep-fried everything.

hop on a plane
Take flight on an old
747 to
visit a new land.

southwest gone south
Their planes stood frozen
on the tarmac. Their agents
unable to move.

streaming meltdown
How do you win fans
with mediocre programs
and rising prices?

reverse to-do list
She added items
already done to keep track
of her performance.

alas twitter
Whoever thought that
tweeting would prove to be more
trouble than its worth?

murder central
Bodies drop every
day in the city. Nothing
slows down the killing.

first time in south america
Hopping continents
to embrace new people and
absorb more culture.

hiding the special ice cream
It resides in the
secret freezer to keep those
pesky roommates out.

the nonviolence way
Yell from the streets, march
to and fro, let everyone
know why we’re angry.

the office cleanup
Pack, trash, shred, file, place
on shelves, stow in baskets, sweep,
rearrange, compact.

lower your standards
Why have the best when
you can have fourth best? Why try
for unreachables?

the lone birthday present
It wasn’t much, but
it was enough to stave off
lonely bitterness.

infinite diversity in infinite combinations
The franchise, in its
seventh decade, plows ahead
with more fun and shock.

internal calendar
We feel a younger
age than we are. Our spirit
shines through our wan flesh.

on the minibike
The youngster puttered
around the farm, causing the
chickens to scatter.

family gathering
Young’uns running the
halls, parents in the kitchen,
Grandma in the den.

the loudest children on earth
They open their mouths
like normal kids but emit
high-decibel booms.

yipping and yapping
Doggy duo ruled
room with microaggressive
barks and energy.

closed for private party
You can’t come in: We’re
busy celebrating your
being kept outside.

epic house party
Lots of food and drink,
a great endless playlist and
friends and family.

the tech revolution
Easier to text
the children than shout over
and over for them.

putting the “ai” in haiku
This is a haiku
about the nature. Pine cones
come from cones of pine.

the blizzard
Trapped indoors with no
means of escape. Surviving
until help arrives.

nepo babies
Well, these Hollywood
roles won’t cast themselves, will they?
They’ll be stars, big stars!

add 45 days
It takes 21
days for a new habit to
take. But that’s a myth.

the kayak incident
My partner went for
a swim. When he tried to climb
back in … in I went!

the long withdrawal
The blinding headache
of weaning yourself off of
caffeine pierces all.

what’s the steering wheel doing way over there?
Everyone here drives
on the left. There’s no way I
can get used to it.

beach bummed
Got my sunscreen on.
Got my cold drink and good book …
uh oh, here comes rain.

party barge
Beer and booze for all
as we swim and cavort and
snorkel in the bay.

nightly facetimes
I needed to see
that face, that smile, on my screen
while away from home.

the podcaster’s dilemma
To let the guest shine
or to hog the spotlight while
showing off their smarts.

improv rules
Learning how to build
each other’s ideas while
not going for laughs.

bite by bite
They finished off the
remaining ice cream and licked
the bowl super clean.

forming new habits
Every action you
take is a vote for the type
you wish to become.

strip mining memories
Creative process
includes plumbing deep depths of
psyche for details.

the chatgpt dad joke
I asked the chatbot
for a doctor’s note, but it
gave me excuses.

and chicken thighs
Food is love. Cooking
special dishes for special
someone takes real heart.

ai takeover
An approximate
thinking engine is enough
to fool most of us.

the path of elder care
A winding trip through
insurance and nursing homes
and health aides and death.

party at amanda’s
Head to basement for
rocking out with local band,
banana in hand.

i love you
I said it, and I
meant it. Don’t know why it took
so long to utter.

furry rave
Dress for bed and for
a party with some panda
PJs and glow stick.

tying the room together
Throw out the shabby
old rug, and throw down a new
beauty to walk on.

the pegasus effect
Governments use these
military-grade tools to
spy on civilians.

black life revealed
Zora studied new
cultures by taking part in
songs and rituals.

the dinner that almost wasn’t
He forgot to make
the reservations, and the
joint was filling fast.

moving offices
They cleared out their small
cubicles, hit the lights and
left the rest behind.

the lasting of ‘the last of us’
Wandering through a
hellscape of zombies and rogues.
*shakes fist at fungus*

the evolution of amazon
Books to everything
to knock-offs and “Lord of the
Rings” and prescriptions.

one step back
Twists and turns on the
road to sobriety can
include relapses.

why are we afraid of black history?
Destroy all of our
libraries and flog teachers
who do not obey.

a one thread count
Sheets made of burlap
that scratch the skin and crackle
when placed on the bed.

a dozen concerts on the calendar
Wherever the bands
play, whatever time they start,
we’re gonna see them.

pothole city
Cars bounce and tires
pop on the unkempt roads of
our metropolis.

the message of hip-hop
A true 21st-
century town crier who
tells us where it’s at.

race cars and thimbles
Traipsing through a flat
Atlantic City to buy
property for cheap.

the death of twitter
All that was left was
a self-styled pretender and
adoring minions.

quite the racquet
Not enough spaces
for tennis, pickleball. We’ll
settle it in court.

junk food jamboree
Patties and buns in
juicy combat to decide
best burger in town.

the magic window
Glimpses of life on
active rotation, highlights
and precious moments.

puzzlers
Spending time sorting
by edges and colors to
build a large portrait.

brighter days ahead
The lie of the clock
is that it’s earlier than
it was yesterday.

the modern awards show
Flashy staging and
slick graphics with the same old
bigwigs and speeches.

f is for fentanyl
Kills without remorse
this opioid scourge that hides
in everyday drugs.

pie oh my
Cherry, chocolate,
chess, apple, pumpkin, Key lime,
blueberry, pecan.

am i hungry?
Learning to trust the
body for signals to feed
and to stop feeding.

yelp wanted
Scroll through the choices,
pick a new restaurant for
dinner on a dare.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 62

Wade Kwon — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 06:00:06 +0000

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the last corona virgin
Get thee behind me,
COVID. You shall not cross this
masked face, these washed hands.

we report, you comply
When a news network
lies to you all day, all night,
it’s brainwash city.

we’ve already moved on
The mass shootings of
today are forgotten long
before the blood dries.

a focus on the numbers
She cared more about
the target, even taking
unhealthy chances.

parton the interruption
Philanthropist, song-
writer, angel, a hell of
a businesswoman.

non-stop flow
Time flies, or it creeps
in this petty pace. But it
always goes forward.

saturday at the costco
A warehouse filled with
shoppers in a frenzy for
discount bulk salmon.

patriotic pickins
What American
boy hasn’t tried Rice Krispie
treats? It’s in our blood.

brigade of helpers
They made the most of
the day by installing the
laminate wood floor.

belabor day
Quiet quitting. The
Great Resignation. Looks like
labor fighting back.

probably not
Does this poem make
you angry or question all
your base assumptions?

the new skate park
The boys made up new
tricks as they glided and jumped
and fell on each curve.

waiting for da dough
The bakery line
stretched 20-people deep as
aromas wafted.

secret identity
My mind wanders as
we exchange pleasantries: Where
do I know you from?

bugging in
Vaccinated and
boosted (twice!) and I still caught
coronavirus.

tiresome
They spent their weekend
nights peeling out in circles
while evading cops.

some is forgiven
The crushing weight of
student loans becomes somewhat
lighter in a snap.

there’s always community college
Education is
too precious to let any
yokel in the door.

can’t spell ‘ain’t’ without ai
Listen up, nerds: I
don’t need no algorithm
to decide my fate.

penalty boxed
It’s quite a racket
that the government has when
it comes to bounced checks.

groundhog century
Does history make
progress ever, or are we
stuck in a time loop?

concert under the stars
A warm summer’s eve
as the bluegrass band takes the
stage before a crowd.

generation gaffe
Should we really know
TikTok and Dua Lipa
and “Euphoria”?

alternative school
Either for the real
geniuses or criminal-
ly inclined or both?

debt-free me
I owe nothing to
nobody, and that’s how it’s
gonna stay for now.

getting adult braces
Just like teenage years,
the metal braces steer these
wayward ancient teeth.

calendar vs. climate
Will the blazing heat
of endless summer ever
make room for fall leaves?

food is love
Every morsel a
hug, every calorie a
blessing. Food is love.

meme economy
We’re cranking them out
just as fast as possible.
Demand is so high.

cash free is the way to be
This venue accepts
only credit and debit
cards. As God insists.

power naps
I lie down on a
pad to recharge myself. So
does my dead smartphone.

palpable bitterness
Life’s too short to let
bygones be bygones. Embrace
the darkness within.

brownie à la mode
Ever dream of a
dessert only to have it
come true? Life is sweet.

the version in my head
Is canon. Ships the
best twosomes. Blows the effects
budget. Has endings.

zzz’s please
Sleep, a miracle
drug that heals fatigue and a
large set of ailments.

lizard in the house
How did you get in
here, little guy, and why are
you up on the wall?

droughts, fires, floods and debris
The weather tells us
in hurricanes and heat waves:
Climate change is real.

ragin’ contagion
The pandemic is
not over for millions of
vulnerable folks.

mortified on a daily basis
Thinking of little
else than stupid screwups from
20 years ago.

fall festival season
Bring on the art and
exotic foods and music
and cooler weather.

homecoming haze
Let the alumni
wander the halls and look back
on their good ol’ days.

the selfish friend
Always ready with
the wrong sentiment or the
discouraging word.

the bad boss
He berates as he
breathes, heaping scorn on the ones
he hired for work.

have you tried dried fruits?
Like a kind of food
parody where no one’s in
on the spicy joke.

daylight saving forever
At some point, we’ll stop
setting clocks back and live with
brighter days ahead.

the last half-season i forgot to watch
I will probably
never go back to see what
happened to my buds.

the pool is closed
Hang up the swim trunks.
Clear out the leaves and put on
the safety cover.

working the stadium concession stand
Band kids and their folks
shovel popcorn and serve hot
dogs to raise money.

fruity fondness
Gimme those hand pies
straight from fryer or oven.
Let me burn my mouth.

yelling, gesturing, repeating
Talking in vain while
listening to the band play
deafeningly loud.

shaky knees
Standing upright one
minute, feeling woozy the
next minute. What gives?

reno woes
The contractor was
supposed to start the project
sometime last Thursday.

home sweet home office
A place to pay the
bills, write novels and hide from
the whole family.

odd hours
Have breakfast at noon,
nap around dinnertime, go
to sleep at sunrise.

the hazing ritual
Get beaten over
and over because it’s how
we always do things.

the little farm stand
Minnie and Jed run
the place, showing off their fresh
produce and hay bales.

everyone has a price
Can you be bought? Are
your scruples for sale? Are you
unimpeachable?

fundamental telepathy
Do we really want
to know what people say when
we are not around?

waisted
These pants used to fit
me fine. Now they remind me
not to have dessert.

all dressed up
A night on the town
with my lady starts with fine
fashion and footwear.

candy shopping
Cheapest? Full bars? The
kind we like to nibble on?
Pennies and raisins?

waiting in the er
Not enough staff but
plenty of patients sweating
it out for hours.

in a dark alley
All he remembered
of the mugging was the gun
pointed in his face.

magic in the air
The witches’ ball has
ghoulish fun, cheap scares and a
VIP section.

potheads not prisoners
When will this country’s
criminalization of
marijuana end?

the spirit of all hallows’ eve
We scare ourselves to
feel alive, to face our fears,
to know true horror.

death takes a holiday
Honoring those who’ve
passed with fond remembrances,
lovely ofrendas.

candyland
Off to the stores to
rack up half-price chocolates
and various sweets.

the servers left behind
A restaurant can
only run short staffed for so
long before it fails.

what they did to get into college
The little dumdums
made up activities and
had others take tests.

what they did to get into college, part 2
They relied on the
worst stereotypes to dress
up their normal lives.

hour hands are tied
An extra hour
to set all the clocks inside
and outside the house.

the opening act
A band, not quite as
famous, but good enough for
the show’s early birds.

democracy at stake
A referendum
on the integrity of
our own elections.

the human purse
Pockets for keys and
gum, debit cards and lip balm
and whatever else.

southern snafus
Birmingham traffic:
280 sucks. Atlanta
traffic: Hold my beer.

veterans day … special?
Can we offer more
than discounts and fanfare to
those who served our land?

fall shower
Brilliant leaves of gold
and red and orange drifting down
from audacious heights.

at the marcus king show
A fan collapses.
Security guards surround.
CPR started.

shut out at the bakery. twice.
Surprise! Doors are locked.
Why hast thou forsaken me,
Google? I believed.

learning indian menus
Try a new dish and
record it in the log book.
Slow but rewarding.

first day on the job
Report to HR
to fill out paperwork and
show my ID cards.

a taste of sushi
She timidly tried
a bite, processing the smell,
texture and flavor.

the idlest boy in alabama
Staring at the clock,
waiting on an assignment,
ready for nothing.

beating hiv
Not just unlocking
the treatment, but also a
preventative shot.

the algorithm of crime
New patterns based on
old ones that oppress, detain
and discriminate.

a ball of stress
Unable to sit
still and relax, waiting for
the worst to happen.

bracing for family
Here come the in-laws
and relations to invade
our houses. Deep breaths.

thank you consequence
It’s a healthy thing
practicing gratitude … makes
you less of a dick.

foodie holiday
Gimme that pumpkin
pie, that gravy boat, some of
that homemade dressing.

the 15-hour pot roast
Every check on the
slow cooker lets out heat so
it’s even slower.

the late night visitor
She snuck in through the
dimly lit corridors to
tuck in beside him.

an ode to recruiters
Ready to sign you
up, ready to size you up,
gone just as quickly.

worth a thousand words
A beaming smile bursts
forth from the images of
our nights on the town.

debt free is the way to be
No more house or car
payments, credit card interest
or old student loans.

volunteering for the wrong reasons
Doesn’t matter as
long as you put more good and
giving in the world.

the truth is paywalled but the lies are free
Paywalled sites bear the
fruit of investigative
journalism, so …

beyond heartbreak
Even after we
oust them, abusive exes
continue their harm.

oh and dumbledore’s gay
Representation
after the fact shows a lack
of author backbone.

personal pillow valet
She brought her own to
sleep more soundly, tossing the
old ones from the bed.

beyond boundaries
If we don’t set them,
we handle relationships
at our own peril.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 61

Wade Kwon — Fri, 26 Aug 2022 05:00:06 +0000

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my whole life is kayfabe
Feuding with people
who aren’t involved, aligning
with heels and faces.

last days of high school
One final goodbye
to teachers and classmates who
shared this adulting.

house shopping 2022
Make crazy offers,
waive the inspection, and still
lose to investors.

acidic aspirations
Take psilocybin
and conquer the fear of death
while tripping big balls.

the right number of exclamation points
Hello! It’s good to
meet you!! And a period
to show I’m not nuts.

election time in alabama
The kooky battle
to go further right than your
distinguished rivals.

three is a tragic number
Ten years ago, the
Birmingham News chose to give
up and publish less.

the coming of summer
Clean out the pool, try
on your swimsuit, and prepare
for the hottest days.

dear graduates 2022
We broke the world so
you’d have something to fix in
your ample spare time.

specs appeal
New eyeglasses for
a new look: suave, stunning and
sophisticated.

“you don’t look your age”
The compliment from
the pharmacist’s assistant
made my day complete.

a saturday offline
Mother and daughters
united over a day
without noisy screens.

in remembrance
We spend a day to
honor the fallen, the brave
ones who gave their all.

disease-free summer
Let’s hope the boosters,
masks and distancing pay off
in the next season.

nice is not the same as kind
Worth pondering while
sizing up people around
us and their motives.

mycelial networking
Competing trees share
sun and minerals through an
underground network.

circle the block
Walking the same stretch
every day and looking for
what we missed before.

gimme one of everything
The candy store stocked
a myriad of sweet treats
and delicacies.

cult of productivity
Don’t let a minute
slip away without wringing
some work outta it.

feeling useless
Overprepared and
underused, a wan combo
holding workers back.

affirm gesture
He would tell himself
in the mirror, “I am great,
and I am special.”

parallel parking: the musical
♫ Where oh where can I
park? There’s a spot! Can I fit?
Will I hit the cur-r-r-r-r-r-rb? ♫

the ethical parker
Take up only one
space. Don’t back in. Wait till the
gate is fully clear.

ammosexuals
Ammosexuals
brandish lethal weapons as
the bodies pile up.

a dish of copypasta
The digital screed
made its way through the forums
hungry for violence.

four holes
Her mouth left her in
writhing agony, defanged
of her wisdom teeth.

the unkempt neighbor
The place next door has
an abundance of weeds and
a rickety porch.

lake life
Sitting on the dock,
legs dangling, watching the boats
churn through the water.

the littlest crazies
The youngest face down
anxiety, depression
and bouts of self harm.

cobblestone nightmare
Jostling teeth loose while
bumping along a million-
year-old unpaved road.

the burden of paying down the burden
The mountain of debt
shrinks payday to payday, with
something left to spend.

city on the grow
She felt the stirring
of civic pride and planned to
move away quickly.

bus stops of the future
Sleek design meets queued
riders ready to board their
civic chariot.

the gelato shop on the cobblestone street
Kids pressed their noses
to the window, trying to
decide which flavor.

summer to-dos
Lounge around the pool,
catch fireflies in a jar,
nap in a hammock.

the secret girlfriend
He didn’t tell his
friends that he was dating and
found someone special.

in case of situational anxiety
Go rigid throughout
the body, unable to
take in what’s coming.

ducking the shooter
She dipped her hands in
her friend’s blood to paint herself
and lay very still.

green card blues
They married for love
and citizenship, ready
to pass any test.

learning to eat again
We deal with food, a
necessity but sometimes
a fierce enemy.

trek to the cahaba lilies
Wading the river
to see glorious blooms while
they’re still in season.

sweaty chores
The humidity
pours out of us as we work
outside this summer.

petty patrol
We keep score for so
long we forget what it was
that riled us before.

regions field, sixth inning
A hot dog and a
taco raced around the field
to the cheers of fans.

the wooden chimes
Swaying stems, the wind
playing those bamboo trees in
nature’s symphony.

nineties and hundreds
Air conditioners
unable to match summer
blasts of brutal heat.

long walks to nowhere
Six thousand steps or
two-and-a-half miles on the
treadmill, one hour.

freedom for me but not for thee
This land is your land,
this land is not my land, this
land was made for you.

nine-month sentence
Women, guilty or
innocent, can face the same
time for the same “crime.”

worrying 9 to 5
On-the-job stress that
grows with each shift, a pressure
that’s unrelenting.

the world games in birmingham
Masters of discount
sports assemble for friendly
competitiveness.

the pause
Before suffering,
before mindless anarchy,
we take a moment.

deliberately forward
Bravery is the
act of putting one foot in
front of the other.

but never tennis
The treads worn smooth by
years of pacing and walking,
shuffling and running.

the chores that never seem to get done
Better put them off
till next week, or next month, or
next season. They’ll keep.

long message service
Their texting thread wound
through breakups and meet-cutes, past
heartaches and wonders.

the missing geese
The feathered fiends were
nowhere to be found in the
sprawling city park.

indifference vs. inert
No forward motion
and no incentive. Versus
unable to move.

no cover fridays
I’d rather converse
than listen to the band, trade
words than hear the beats.

stood up
She had some place to
be better than our late date,
as if she’s all that.

magnanimity 2022
They planned to shelter
homeless in plywood ovens
in the scorching sun.

ode to a fruit pie
Apples and sugar
melded in a thin pastry
inside its wrapper.

the runaway tooth
One fang among the
many set off on its own
despite group pressure.

tension up high
I feel anxious more
than ever and all throughout
my poor old body.

no candle blower outers
Delight in the grand
fortunes of others and have
them delight in yours.

ridiculously consistent
The patterns emerge:
Why be somewhat consistent
when you can be all?

coming into your own
Learning to be your-
self. Standing up for yourself.
Being true to you.

one bruised toenail
The feet survived the
new walking routine except
for one bruised toenail.

boy meets girl, something something something
One good thing about
seeing movies high is not
caring how it ends.

the click
Suddenly it all
makes sense. Everything just falls
into place like so.

mandatory fun is mandatory
Despite carefree smiles,
corporate dictates insist on
fun no matter what.

heat is the true killer
Forget tornadoes
and blizzards, heat is the true
killer among men.

the protests must go on
The patriarchy
belches. So foul the stench that
we must cry out more.

the parking did them in
The concert was great,
but the escape was blocked on
all sides by traffic.

the pool
She rode atop the
salty waves for a slice of
her backyard heaven.

a furious hush
The madder he got,
the quieter he became,
seething in silence.

one small selfie for man
They posed in front of
a rocket, and you could see
the stars in their eyes.

who’s in charge of what?
He’s in charge of the
grill and tires. She’s in charge
of everything else.

chill vibe
Not too busy, not
too loud, just an evening of
soft music and words.

boned appetit
This state taxes food,
not for the revenue but
out of danged sheer spite.

an inherited problem
The bosses stuck him
on an out-of-the-way team,
hoping for … something.

the drone
On and on he went,
pausing not for breath or for
reply, endlessly …

her eyes gave it away
As she waited on
tables, she hoped no one would
see how high she was.

studying psychedelics
On the precipice
of exploring creation
and total being.

death of summer
No more late night game
tournaments, no more hanging
out around the pool.

first day of class
Pencils sharpened, shoes
tied, lunches packed. Everyone
have a good school year!

2-d hollywood
The cardboard cutouts
stood ready to glamorize
modest mundane lives.

headlines and tan lines
The Facebook news tab
is the standard mix of tech
stocks and Page 3 Girls.

duolingo, but make it geeky
He tried his best to
learn from the book, practicing
his new coding skills.

working stiffed
Stop with the “look at
me.” You don’t get a cookie
for doing your job.

what not to teach
History. Facts. Sex
ed. Critical Race Theory.
Science. Deep thinking.

modern horoscopes
Turn off your ringer
and crawl back in bed, Pisces.
He ain’t texting you.

weaponized vocabulary
Her words cut deeply,
making her loathsome point oh
so sarcastically.

the telescope a million miles away
Peering into space,
looking back billions of years
to our origins.

monkeypox see, monkeypox do
We have already
weathered one pandemic, what’s
another disease?

marvel, phase 8
Ninety episodes,
19 movies, three concerts
and five new theme parks.

no one stood up
The city cut the
library budget, leaving
no choice but to close.

the perfect patriarchy
It is not enough
to own women. We must smash
their free will as well.

matrix of deception
From the shadows they
pulled the strings. No one could find
them, much less stop them.

the bully
At times, I have been
the bully. And at times, the
bullied. Choose wisely.

the bearable heat
The AC couldn’t
decide between too cold and
too hot. Lukewarm days.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 60

Wade Kwon — Tue, 17 May 2022 05:00:06 +0000

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smoke break, winter edition
Bundle the fuck up
for a 5-minute sojourn
by the back entrance.

use the good china today
Candles, wines, cigars,
gift cards, linens … break them all
out and use them up.

poetic instant analysis
Scanning the lines for
wordplay and symbolism,
tripping on meter.

hearing the words of the verse
A melodic burst
of syllables, a brief hush
of understanding.

feminist turned misogynist
Once a hero, now
a goat. Made us believe he
was part of the cause.

modern valentines 1
Please accept these terms
and conditions as shown to
be my valentine.

modern valentines 2
Swipe right, hey gurl, a
few suggestive emoji,
pre-date, confirmed date.

modern valentines 3
A non-binary
throuple with hints of poly
and no jealousy.

cupid 2022
Arrows tipped with love
potion and double dose of
Moderna vaccine.

ultimate poker face
Remarkable self-
poise, or the last one ever
before dropping dead.

the whitest supremacy
The thought police do
kindly request that books by
black authors be banned.

the great resignation
What happens when a
society finds out the
true value of work?

no time for breathing
He practiced a form
of keen mindfulness that ran
on autopilot.

dog in training
Learning to beg and
roll and sit and come and stay
for praise and biscuits.

with facebook, your junk is someone else’s treasure
I gave away a
20-year-old TV set
in just 2 hours.

technical(ly) gibberish
(It’s not exactly
gibberish since very smart
people make it work.)

make it awkward
Share too much, dance in
front of a crowd, and swipe right
on people you know.

dry month
Lock up the liquor
cabinet and throw away
the six-packs of beers.

impossible choices
How do we weigh the
science and economics
when we failed them both?

jetting off to paris
Ah, to spend the week
with haute cuisine and sublime
music, living well.

interactive artscapes
When the artist and
audience connect over
social media.

the swear jar
Clean up language through
fiscal remuneration
by violation.

the beauties of space
An uncle and his
nephew bond over the worlds
they might see someday.

a problem for future me
Let’s go the cheap route
and have the consequences
play out however.

do we do it for the gratitude?
Is it so much to
ask for a “thank you” or does
that corrupt motives?

world war 3
A nuclear power
invades a sovereign land.
It’s almost midnight.

mind games
Conservatorships
can safeguard the mentally
ill or make things worse.

guess the copay
This doctor’s visit
will cost me 40 bucks or
200 dollars.

the laziest of friends
They might text, they might
meet up, they might share some laughs.
But probably not.

the courage to sing
Approach the front of
the stage, take a deep breath and
let out that first note.

a gentle reminder
Be brave enough to
(if stuck in complacency)
suck at something new.

the revival of book burnings
Destroy empathy
by setting aflame those cursed
books that inflame hearts.

the mid-morning nap
A brief siesta
to prep the body for lunch
and afternoon drudge.

the medical bill nightmare
To pay thousands for
drugs again and again or
face an early grave.

the indoor garden
The special lamps bring
sunshine to the wisps of plants
stretching in comfort.

recreational high
Out of commission
for a few hours as the
brain relaxes all.

the forever loan
The most expensive
cap and gown ever ensures
this cumbersome debt.

so saucy
Irreverent imps
seize control of staid placid
psyches to spread mirth.

in reddit we trust
Online gossips vote
up (or down) sordid rumors
for entertainment.

pet conspiracy theories
Believe what you will,
but know that still crazier
ideas take root.

the nine days of spring break
Celebrating a
week of uninterrupted
fun and/or mischief.

the mating call of the fox
The back yard echoes
with passionate cries from some
wild bushy-tailed freaks.

the pleasures of an incubating season
Days grow warmer and
longer as winter goes in-
to hibernation.

paperworked
This pile to be filed.
This pile to be shredded. This
pile to be eaten.

hiber nation
A modern stupor
brought about by always-on
screens in all venues.

an appropriate dosage
With Girl Scout cookies,
one box equals one serving.
Yes, one measly box.

bulletproof
Backpack shields and drills
for days … nothing to disarm
potential shooters.

summer of soul
When Harlem lit up
with a galaxy of stars
all on one big stage.

the fix
Just one more. That’ll
make it all right. Can’t function
till it’s in my hands.

to the shredder
Old phone records, scads
of brochures and legal junk,
reams of paper dross.

presence and presents
They’re instructed to
come empty handed yet they
bear gifts just the same.

far or fiyah
Success depends on
whether “fire” has just one
or two syllables.

hiking with six eyes
Their cameras came out
for engrossing foliage
and weirdly shaped rocks.

staffing shortages and other delights
Every time I ask
for “no mayo,” the sandwich
arrives with mayo.

not in a joking mood
Troubled times leads to
an absence of whimsy while
the whole world burns down.

back to reading
The absolute joy
of holding a book and thumbing
through its rough pages.

a chapter a day
Devouring this
book in nightly sessions while
boredom falls away.

the re-creative process
Reading old poems
and thinking “How did that thing
come out of my brain?”

eye candy for the neighbors
What good is having
the house painted when you can’t
see it from inside?

scrape scrape scrape scrape
Washing isn’t all.
You have to scrape and scratch each
square inch of old paint.

no one notices
Not the couple at
the bar. Not the cyclist in
the street. Just no one.

the hypnotic scroll
I can’t turn away
from the endless options to
watch, like and subscribe.

return of the cold war
Powers clash over
dueling ideologies
and outdated slights.

threats of a madman
A huge fortune to
protect no matter the cost
to the citizens.

the public in public health
Endless cycles of
mandated masks. The lesson
is to never try.

the pollening
Yellow dust swirling
everywhere, sinuses in
total misery.

instant dissatisfaction
When you click on “Buy,”
but the shipping won’t happen
for 6 to 8 weeks.

how to binge
Theme song. Episode.
Closing credits. Repeat. Move
on to the next show.

my montage
Clock in. Do my job.
Clock out. Eat my dinner. Read
a book. Go to bed.

writing in the sky
Her hands and arms and
face telegraphed ancient thoughts
in potent fashion.

coming out party
Once dead and newly
risen, he appears for his
heavenly reward.

return to office
Taking the last 2
years of struggle and success
and forgetting them.

talking type
An lol, an
ikr and a couple
of hbu’s, too.

confronting a fear
Saying aloud the
parts that have me confounded
and begging for help.

first date at a wine bar
I haven’t laughed so
hard in a long time and been
able to relax.

the grownup party
All the little ones
wanted to do was stay up
late and play some games.

the grownup party part 2
All the older ones
wanted to do was converse
deeply and drink rum.

best buds everywhere
A forest stroll shows
off the fragrant flowers just
coming into bloom.

addicted to illegals
A cop show for just
anyone and everyone
who has eyeballs, pulse.

keys to literary success
Start slowly to draw
the reader in, go faster,
end on a climax!!

get the grill ready
Dump out the ashes
and scrape the gunk off the grill.
Ready for some meats.

even drummers get the love
When rock stars die, fans
mourn them all, especially
those who smashed things hard.

an audience of one or two
No matter how small
the following, to give it
all you’ve got each time.

slipping into the ether
A heaviness falls
and thoughts and steps slur in a
bumble of nonsense.

the sacrifices for barbecue
Working the pit at
four in the morning, tending
those meats carefully.

the 50-year-old dad
He could still give some
piggyback rides while saving
for their college funds.

lazy man’s pancakes
Forget the milk and
eggs, just remember to add
the baking powder.

the promise of work ahead
Her eyes lit up at
the prospect of remaining
busy through the week.

hello and goodbye
The introvert slips
in for a quick appearance
before sneaking out.

keeping tabs
A browser straining
under the weight of dozens
of open websites.

canines come and go
The bad dog mom keeps
her nail appointment while her
mutt’s in surgery.

groaning for juice
Phones should wail each time
their batteries run down so
we know they’re in pain.

laundry for beginners
Trying to wash clothes
with differing instructions
and rules in one load.

the kilimanjaro effect
Almost to the top,
freezing like never before,
gasping in thin air.

gesturing stream of consciousness
So fluent in sign
language that he could ramble
carelessly with hands.

out of the mouths of rubes
Cancel culture? More
like consequence culture for
lousy opinions.

the need for checks in 2022
To pay only the
landscaper because Venmo
charges a small fee.

rank ’em
Destination spots.
“Cheers” episodes. Power tools.
Vanilla ice creams.

the many uses of cereal
Breakfast, snack, ice cream
topping, dessert bars, hiding
spot for toys, fiber.

adventures in conscious states
A few milligrams
and the mind is allowed to
slip the grasp of self.

a bookkeeper’s place
A running tally
of numbers numbers numbers
which must all add up.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 59

Wade Kwon — Sat, 05 Feb 2022 06:00:06 +0000

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happiest of holidays
A nonstop orgy
of gifts, eating, dressing up
and some reflection.

the true cost of higher education
A little learning
can contribute to a life
weighed down with deep debt.

secret windfall
A surprise bonus
pumping up the coffers with
necessary cash.

weeny forecast
Littlest monsters
scavenge streets for sugary
treats and slight mischief.

writers get it, too
Impostor syndrome
rears its ugly head before
I can start typing.

dancing under the stars
We gathered at the
old park to drink beers and hear
the bands play all day.

the darkest highway
The headlights barely
pierce the nighttime before our
car. A light rain falls.

happy birthday, biff
Alive for 50,
friends for 40, a long time
with a good buddy.

before the party starts
Nervously munching
on crudité, waiting for
old friends to arrive.

a few minutes here and there
I need to spend more
time writing in the nooks and
crannies of each day.

modern package tracking
Wormhole. Cleveland, then
Narnia. Drone drops ninja
bot. Wake up with box.

damn kids
They know everything
about what’s in and nothing
about their elders.

the endless race
Brain and body. Sheer
exhaustion. Consequences
of running full speed.

get high, get thai
Grab some gummies and
let the week melt away. Feel
the great weightlessness.

never in short supply
Could we stop making
so many war veterans
and start waging peace?

the sport of scrolling
Looking for hotties.
Need inspiration. Killing
brain cells. Hate-scrolling.

any port in a storm
Lower your standards,
and raise your hopes, for cuffing
season has begun.

the cure for incuriousity
Explore the depths of
the people in your life and
discover wonders.

the quilt
Investing each piece
with feeling, meaning, making
a textile thesis.

the hazards of wordsmithing
Some days the words flow.
Others, they must be pried out
with a screwdriver.

everyone appreciates a good sideshow
To puncture the staid
veil of reality, go
forth and get weirder.

pro dreams in a college town
Birmingham’s quest for
pro status: Cinderella
story or nightmare?

the job interview: the beginner
Fumble for the right
words, make the manager see
you as competent.

a melodious evil
She hums a motif,
giving the composer a
way to score her sins.

if it bleeds, it undermines the fabric of society
If news outlets aren’t
trying to scare viewers to
death, what is the point?

as opposed to shut-ins and boors
Inspiration comes
from having a robust life
and clever instincts.

keeping cool
The fridge wanted a
holiday, but I wouldn’t
budge. Heated exchange.

a country 2021
He lost his girlfriend
and his dog this year, sadness
waiting for lyrics.

the rites of gratitude
Being grateful makes
us happier, so give thanks
every day you can.

every day is black friday
We shop from our phones
and check out on our doorsteps.
It’s retail’s revenge.

ready for any apocalypse
She weaves her fabrics
and raises her hens, prepared
for the fall of man.

midway through dune
The anxiety
waits quietly, ready to
pounce when given space.

hobbyists and practitioners
Should all creations
be interrogated as
Art? Can we stand it?

the plague of drought
As water dwindles,
will we go to war over
remaining droplets?

the extra noel is for spite
May all my friends go
to hell. Noel noel no-
el noel noel.

reflections of van gogh
Projectors beam his
works across expansive walls
while we stroll through them.

a new stadium, gently used
The vocal few packed
half the stands, while the rest stayed
filled with ghostly hopes.

being mortal
What’s harder: dying,
or living on in a world
of indifference?

digital death rituals
We gather to mourn
on Facebook, swapping stories
and pics of the dead.

questions for down the road
Will I have enough
money? Or virility?
Or will to keep on?

ode to a modern dance troupe
They defy the laws
of gravity, with grace, with
physicality.

art pop
Impressionism
for Joe Sixpack, smudges of
paint for the masses.

tidings of great joy
The best present we
have to give is ourselves in
this do-over year.

the end is nigh
Death is coming. We
greet it with awe, with sorrow,
with celebration.

the plan to outlive everyone
The only flaw is
having no one left to talk
with at the day’s end.

mystery dance
They twirl and tumble
onstage, and I don’t get the
movement and meaning.

all downhill from here
The best verse I have
ever written is buried
among published heaps.

afflict the comfortable
We’d rather sink in
the morass of ignorance
than learn painful truths.

a relationship built on uncertainty
It’s a pattern of
not trusting our needs and not
sharing our questions.

the spending continues
Experiences
over things, and yet both use
capitalism.

nations and money, law and society
The fabric of our
reality is largely
based on shared grand myths.

vaccines, critical race theory, nascar
Cannot avoid it:
Everything’s political
though it shouldn’t be.

plague to end all plagues
Five million dead, it
will probably hang out for
a while. Get boosted.

the unpuzzle
Tricky problem less
tricky after time away
and a good night’s sleep.

greet the winter fondly
Before long, the nights
will shrink again and harsh cold
will give way to warmth.

symphony of paper, twine and tape
Nothing beats the joy
and contentment of wrapping
a gift perfectly.

season of loneliness
Togetherness means
nothing to those without loved
ones to draw closer.

the quiet of christmas eve
When kids finally
fall asleep and parents swear
softly building bikes.

how many candles?
It’s someone’s birthday
today. And what a joyous
occasion it is!

resolve to be nicer
“Be kind” might be the
only commandment we need
to get by in life.

the quality of banter
The quality of
banter determines the fun
to be had en masse.

naughty card games
Their innuendo
proceeded with every card
dealt, every brow raised.

she doesn’t do pets
Not on her couch, and
definitely not in her
bed. Cuteness, be gone!

banned words, 2021 edition
Canceled, woke, extra,
deplatform and air fryer.
(Let’s hang on to “vax.”)

eve
A waltz, a kiss, a
toast, a vow, a glance, a shared
look and a new year.

our third pandemic year
Let us resolve to
take care of each other, while
we care for ourselves.

the year of the cell
Will it be a year
of true connection or a
year spent on our phones?

philosophical streaming
Should life be binged in
a mad rush or savored bite
by bite? Gulp, or chew?

wittier by sweat
Wringing laughs from tame
writing, punching up punch lines,
hoping for howling.

hope for 2022
Freedom from worry,
from suffering, from violence,
from things ’21.

a near insurrection
We almost let them
steal democracy when they
stormed the Capitol.

democracy in peril
Are we content to
let the traitors spit lies and
plan another siege?

latest-stage capitalism
Amazon turned our
old mall into a giant
distribution hub.

mall used up
One by one the stores
fled, or worse, sank deeper in
the fetid water.

pennies from hell
The reliable
old Walmart, where cheapness is
the ultimate good.

gastronomic excesses
Course after course, we
indulged in fine wines and some
exquisite dining.

the takeoff of the squadron
A mighty few came
to witness the launch of our
minor league hoops team.

my favorite social media faux pas
She thought Instagram
was private and sent pics of
her butt to all y’all.

a meeting over breakfast
The best time to fuel
up and trade secrets with an
admirable friend.

jonesin’ for dopamine
Notification.
Check status. Alert. Quick glance.
Repeat until dead.

mortal beings
We’re all beginning
to wither year by year till
our ripeness is rot.

a man most reviled
King found little love
among white Americans
as the ’60s raged.

clanton, usa
Come sit a spell with
me beneath the oversize
peach water tower.

post-viewing supplemental reading
I like to binge and
then read up, water cooler
moments on the fly.

finding life’s purpose
Winding down each day,
looking for something to do,
how to fill a void.

the book bandit
She sped through all kinds
of fiction, sharing her love
with literati.

chef nobody
He wanted to cook
more, but didn’t care for the
shopping, prep and wait.

half crazy
It’s very common:
Half will be diagnosed with
a mental illness.

mindscape
The brain is a black
box, able to imagine
and help us sit straight.

scrolling habits
Silent videos,
noisy videos, lovely
houses and train wrecks.

stop, look and listen
Up and down the same
streets, past the same houses, still
seeing something new.

calculus of regret
Possible joy and
minor hazards, divided
by risk and reward.

truth, beauty, etc.
Why do we create
art? To show off? To scratch an
itch? To understand?

a painting, an opera, an nft
Why do we consume
art? To gain wisdom? To feed
the soul? To unwind?

plugged in
You’re either really
in the know or the dumbest
fool in history.

shivering
Despair of winter
is facing brutal cold in
nothing but sweaters.

the camera goes where?
Colonoscopy
day: Prep in the wee hours,
sleep through procedure.

the lens of others
Divining meaning
in a vaguely written verse
while they stare blankly.

the simple joys of a simple diet
Chicken, spinach, eggs,
lentils, beans, more chicken and
eggs, veggies, dinner.

mantras wanted
Boil my complete
philosophy down to a
bumper sticker please.

january’s ultimate joy
Dining room table
surrounded by dear friends on
a cold winter’s night.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 58

Wade Kwon — Wed, 27 Oct 2021 05:00:06 +0000

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the sweetest shoppe
Cookies and cakes and
assorted confections, all
sugar to savor.

george floyd
Minneapolis
man seeking redemption and
work while getting straight.

ahmaud arbery
Georgia runner who
loved his mama’s fudge cake and
did great impressions.

more on breonna taylor
Louisville ER
tech who scribbled goals on Post-
it notes in her home.

the embiggening of milkshakes
Stick ’em in a jar
and top with cupcakes, pretzels
and firecrackers.

in the grips of depression
Each morning I sink
back into the ooze, drowning
slowly on dry land.

making time for everything and nothing
The energy to
do 500 things, the time
to do maybe four.

the coming race war
Keep pushing people
of color to the brink. Fuck
around and find out.

the longest book
The longest book is
the one sitting patiently,
ready to be read.

no one deserves her smile
She graces me with
a knowing grin, dazzling my
eyes, melting my heart.

hurricane country
Much like where you live,
with a few more occasions
to flee for your lives.

ongoing obsolescence
The way we do things
today won’t be around for
very much longer.

a last summer hurrah
Before they send us
back to confined spaces, full
of vaccines, ennui.

postcard to a friend
I’m at the beach, but
dreaming about us having
dinner together.

the canine twins
No scrap goes untouched,
no ball goes unthrown in a
two-dog family.

sunshine on hidden depths
Growing my hair in
back and chewing on Skoal. I
am Florida man.

sandy siren
The beach stretches out
forever and calls you back
(without the big crowds).

postcard poetry
Back in Florida
enjoying the sand, seafood
and grand sunrises.

the corpse in the driveway
It used to be a
bird, or maybe a squirrel. And
now covered in flies.

for a few commas more
I, do, not, like, the,
insistence, on, the, use, of,
the, Oxford, comma.

his one trick
Waiting for it. More
anticipation. Snatching
the treat from mid-air.

infinite grief in a finite period
When do we mourn a
pandemic, all the lost lives?
And when do we stop?

a restorative place
I find my seat and
begin the warmup to a
session of breathing.

word search
He dutifully
crossed out excess words on the
sheet with a red pen.

back to school 2021
Classmates free of masks
and full of shots once again
crowd their old classrooms.

moth mayhem
Their swarms visit each
room, awaiting their turns to
redo my wardrobe.

the future is streaming
Buzzy series, live
sports, cooking demos, doorbell
pirates, Old Sheldon.

head games
Star athletes compete
for glory, but we fail to
see the mental toll.

a race against variants
Will the unvaxxed kill
us all? Will the strain between
tribes undo it all?

the pandemic in fall, second round
Return to normal,
or a march into a great
unknown risk for all.

those disposable pandemic pets
No longer puppies
and kittens, they returned to
shelters unneeded.

black lives still matter
How quickly our white
allies went back to business
long before justice.

bad reams
Most dreams die from the
amount of paperwork that
it takes to launch them.

casual racism
It slips into our
conversation so quickly
I fail to push back.

resistance isn’t futile
Maybe the reason
we’re so memorable is
because we fight back.

the dog walker’s mantra
Who’s happy to see
me? Who’s a good boy? Oh yes,
it’s you! You you you!!

beacons of positivity
The people in our
lives who radiate joy stand
out for their brilliance.

art for art’s sake
Do something, and do
it badly. Don’t make money
from it. Just enjoy.

losing a best friend
One weird fight, and years
of camaraderie slip
away in the wind.

a fiftieth wish
I hope you’re safe, I
hope you’re well, but most of all,
I hope you’re happy.

looks like we mated
You have something on
your face. No, not there. Lower.
That conniving smile.

the harvest, summer edition
Cucumber, cucum-
ber, cucumber, cucumber,
cucumber and dill.

jetset jaunt
Fly across the world
for fine dining, then fly back
home with full bellies.

hope for everyone and no one
A drunk drying out
while protecting his claim to
the girls he neglects.

after a rainy walk
He proudly trots from
the door on the kitchen floor,
muddy paws and all.

this dog misses his mama and daddy
He whimpers, wonders
where his family has gone
while gnawing on bones.

anxiety on the line
Keeping a firm grip
on the leash, never knowing
which way he might run.

sprint and spritz
Neither darkness nor
rain kept him from his rounds of
marking territory.

a rare promotion
They lifted her up
after so many years in
the trenches toiling.

the cost of doing business
For labor, a chance
to reassess their worth. For
management, the same.

the 27-course meal
An abundance of
forks, plates, servers and wines cross
our table nonstop.

flowers as lovely as her
I bring you roses
with the hope they bloom like our
new relationship.

backyard agenda
We float along in
the quiet pool, staring up
at the lazy clouds.

downtown saturday morning
The cyclists search for
a brunch spot, while the homeless
man keeps to his bench.

the lessons of 9/11
Twenty years of wars.
Do we terrorize others
more than they do us?

kitchen harmony
Me on the skillet,
her on the cutting board, a
dinner taking shape.

a pound of regret
Hospitals stretched to
their limits. But we can’t be
bothered to wear masks.

the inevitable nth wave
It was predicta-
ble. It was preventable.
It is laughable.

uncomfortably numb
Becoming inured
to death is like being dead
inside already.

escape rooms themes
A flooded basement.
Human trafficking boxcar.
Brunch with the in-laws.

best wishes and gritted teeth
We’re so happy for
your continued success and
its many blessings.

new job, still remote
He sat in the same
living room, flipped on the same
laptop, but earned more.

the freedom of fiction
Writing about life’s
many strange things whether they’re
about you or not.

death of a waffle house
Smothered, padlocked and
kneecapped. The mourners brought their
flasks. One guy threw up.

her mighty garden
Raised beds filled with all
kinds of vegetables, some tall
and some buried deep.

autumnal pause
A breather between
the sweltering summer and
a gloomy winter.

the fixer-upper
They spent weekends on
painting and sanding and trips
to the big box store.

broadway bind
Hours and days spent
in rehearsal, for minutes
in the lone spotlight.

some pig
Tallulah wants time
in the sun and a small mud
patch to call her own.

man vs. city hall
They levy the tax.
I fight back. They hold fast. I
keep fighting. They win.

fall getaways 2021
A last jaunt to the
beach, maybe a cabin, but
not the ICU.

throwing away their vote
Why are we afraid
to make voting easier
for Americans?

phrased in the form of a questionable haiku
Who knew hiring
a game show host would be so
politically fraught?

search engine doctorates
Everyone you know
is an expert in any-
thing and everything.

our relationship with tv
We’re pickier and
more voracious, enchanted
and obligated.

halloween or dystopic nightmare?
I’m going to be
the prettiest handmaiden
in all Gilead.

relationship detente
When both sides reach an
understanding that no more
growth is possible.

the ted lasso dilemma
Can we meet harshness
with kindness, outright cruelty
with some empathy?

feels like fall
A simple drop in
temperature warms my heart and
brings out my cool side.

in a few syllables
I can reinvent
my unremarkable self
into something grand.

anxiety is the thief
Anxiety is
the thief that robs us of our
sense of well-being.

the lump in the window
The furry lump does
not stir, does not see me (or
maybe does), snoozing.

the laziest pickpockets
They reach unseen in
wallets and purses to shop
for pizza and gas.

delta variant by five
Stadiums full of
fans packed tightly to enjoy
their football fever.

legacies of columbus
Globalization
and all the wonders and hor-
rors that come with it.

the legend of the haunted hardee’s
Ghosts roam the booths, all
dead from hunger and lack of
attentive service.

the probable son
Doesn’t care for his
parents, nor for the fractured
legacy to boot.

prick or treat
Vaccines as either
bold trick to ensnare victims
or free pass to fun.

the real ongoing pandemic
Why aren’t we making
a bigger deal out of the
risks of climate change?

eternally maternally
Mama bear cares for
her cubs so very dearly.
Watch out for those claws!

ascendiary
Each day can be a
mountain. We may not peak, but
we can still climb some.

clickety click clack
Abandoned office
registers the lone sound of
gently tapped keyboards.

stats for life
BP, temperature,
cholesterol (good and bad),
weight, pulse and pain scale.

costume dilemma
Silly or sexy,
pop culture or historic,
homemade or store bought.

busy busy busy
Burning the candle
at both ends, in the middle
and from deep inside.

what lurks beneath, above and all around us
Death and horror got
nothin’ on Halloween this
year. Scary shmary.

can society?
Can democracy
survive without committing
to the public good?

fight or flights of fancy
The dialogue on
mental health gets louder with
each passing daydream.

the fear and now
Between depression
and anxiety, I’ve got
past and future locked.

and not feel so alone
We talk openly
about our mental struggles
so others may learn.

true confessions
I admit weakness.
Is vulnerability
a strength? I hope so.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 57

Wade Kwon — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 05:00:06 +0000

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a society of things that need food, shelter
Minimum wages,
living wages are the cost
of using humans.

the plight of the omnivorous
The fun thing about
thinking about food is the
endless variety.

a zero-growth strategy
Many are content
with stasis, needing only
to cover the churn.

contentedness is its own reward
Happy to remain
still, grateful for what is and
what is still possessed.

the descent of spring
Warm days with subtle
pollinated breezes
that waft through our toes.

the lavish picnic
Group tees and streamers
galore in the pavilion
at the shady park.

no taste for accounting
On your 1040,
just write “COVID” in giant
letters, pay next year.

the commodification of mindfulness
The utmost holy
oneness with creation … as
an in-app purchase.

age appropriate
Are cartoons for kids?
Is sugary cereal,
or tabletop games?

makes me smile
Half-remembering
a dumb joke, or a mishap
from long, long ago.

drug trials
Try this formula,
feel it fail. Try that prescription,
turn your insides out.

technological leaps
The joy of a new
smartphone is soon outweighed by
figuring it out.

ownership in the digital age
Creative works can
vanish with flip of a switch,
ones into zeros.

planet of the oops
Getting hotter and
hotter, maybe this world is
some other world’s hell.

folders and photos and files and flotsam
A cluttered desktop
is the sign of a cluttered
AI, it muttered.

no one flies kites any more
A scenic hilltop,
gusting winds and a sky full
of aerial hopes.

emerging from the cave
We take baby steps
into a world once consumed
with disease and death.

may the circle be
You are the five you
keep closest. But what happens
when you grow apart?

april 27, 2011
The morning storms spun
up lesser tornadoes to
scar Alabama.

The evening brought a
furious set of twisters.
Hundreds would be killed.

We remember that
day 10 years on, what we lost,
who we miss dearly.

so bad it’s profitable
Throw a bunch of shows
at the wall and see who streams.
A binge of big bucks.

her fiftieth
A peek back, and a
stride forward into a life
of love and kindness.

one small step for mechanical man
Robots use arms and
legs to traverse terrain we’d
rather not visit.

pièce de résistor
Gonna digitize
my soul and sell it as an
NFT. For Art!

post-pandemic fever
Let’s do everything
all at once without masks and
hugging and sneezing.

enjoy your crippled lungs
So many folks do
not want the vaccine. More room
for me on airplanes.

antibodies and auntie betties
We’re long overdue
to welcome our relatives
back into our lives.

peak pfizer
I will never be
stronger than clomping through Five
Below fully vaxxed.

water can’t wash away relaxation
Even in a burst
of torrential rain, the dream
vacation lazed on.

methodical menuing
It took a few tries,
but he finally landed
on the perfect dish.

little doc
The man can play a
mean trumpet. A marriage of
artist and hot brass.

sgt. woodard
He opened our eyes
after being blinded by
white supremacists.

the medium of garbage
They took out the trash
and converted it to some
profitable art.

typecast
INFJ or
ESTP, MBT-
I is DUM.

51 laps
On the track, he took
the punishment of asphalt
for some 13 miles.

might as well netflix and chill
They couldn’t agree
on a movie, time, row or
location. Just snacks.

nonfictitious license
Need a long take on
whaling, or race? I have the
perfect doc for that.

right shape, wrong texture
The computer finds
pies in round shapes with one to
two crusts. (And cakes, too.)

graduated, sort of
Their senior year, one
spent half at home, half in masked
spaces, fizzling out.

3 million and counting
COVID world death toll:
As if we murdered all of
Utah this past year.

original? sin
The smart money’s on
sequels, reboots, revivals,
remakes, do-overs.

a pen like lightning
Deadline? Write faster.
Space to fill? Write faster. New
insights? WRITE FASTER!

rocket ship to uravarice
Is the way to space
paved with profitable ends?
One small step for greed.

a pair of pricks
The first shot feels like
apprehension. The second,
a little like hope.

the movie marathoners
Long past a double
feature, late into the night
and next day, they watched.

breakups and acquisitions
The managers made
moves, hoping for a payoff
soon and mightily.

the tub of the past
The bin held photos
and letters guiding loved ones
to kin, history.

the leaky purse
Out slipped cold hard cash
and plastic cards long worn down
from endless swiping.

words matter
Free speech that causes
blowback. Cancel culture? No,
consequence culture.

nicked with an apostrophe
Sometimes, the perfect
haiku arrives, ‘cept the loss
of a syllable.

the schizoid standoff
He said the voices
had never lied, unlike his
weary family.

pots and panic
Her dating profile
said she could cook it all. Her
dating profile lied.

crimes against nurture
He’s not such a bad
guy, they’d say in defense. That’s
just how he was raised.

white crosses as far as the eye can see
The more veterans
who commit suicide, the
darker this day gets.

the unherbalist
I spray weed killer
over the lawn. I have be-
come what I despise.

tuesday wine and cheese
The hours flew by
as they shared bits and pieces
of their little lives.

retreat or retrench
On top of every-
thing else, the boss said farewell
to the dismayed troops.

safety dance
That weird feeling when
wearing a mask while certain
of no one’s status.

line 3 is just retching noises
Call on line 1, car
warranty threat. Line 2 wants
to buy your house now.

the joys of working on ourselves
We confront our worst
fears, only to find we still
have much work to do.

pictures, but in word form
Reading all about
TV is often more fun
than watching the shows.

the chinese of mississippi
Brought as cheap labor,
they turned to opening shops
for the Black townsfolk.

the world’s oldest smartphone
Calls, some apps, a cracked
screen, slow charging and a lot
of hints to upgrade.

the destiny in your own hands
We do not control
others. We barely have a
grip on our own fate.

littlest buggers
The termites bit through
the foundation and nibbled
away at a dream.

real estate, real ante
They had a tough time
bidding on houses till they
offered their first born.

reefer referendum
As society
inches ever closer to
legal pot, breathe in.

quickee settee
Come on down to the
furniture palace … pick it,
carry it, build it.

the chicken hat
Leave behind something
to have an excuse to come
back and make smooches.

one thumb out
“The movies are like
a machine that generates
empathy.” — Ebert

two hundred years from now
We’ll all be long dead.
No one will remember us.
Take comfort in that.

uncle vanya
When a relative
goes batty holding down the
farm. See, Chekhov’s won.

for the juneteenth time
Freedom Day, where the
freedom came in dribs and drabs
for a hundred years.

hot. girl. summer.
Summer ain’t summer
without the hottest ladies
and their sunny smiles.

sweet, sweet home
A foundation of
love, windows of hope, shelter
for souls, room for peace.

to beat the rubik’s cube
Slide, twist, double back.
See the future in fifty-
four shiny stickers.

endemic to the end of the pandemic
Well, whaddaya know?
The shots worked, and the world is
a little safer.

the cost of moving on
You can’t buy my for-
giveness. I think it just kind
of has to happen.

at my parents’ house
We sat on the same
sofa, in front of the same
bookcase, just agog.

generation gapped
What do you say when
it’s been decades since you last
spoke to each other?

a century on wheels
A formidable
duo, they sailed down highways
searching for freedom.

the curve
She dreaded the spot
on the interstate where all
her nerves knotted up.

critical racist theory
Let’s discuss race, but
only one, and how that one
is superior.

a return to normal
Everyone, feel free
to be giant assholes to
each other again.

not to scale
The digital map
shows the same twisty line with
the same twisty length.

holiday weekend bender
Party. Pass out. Then
party harder. Pass out. Then
really party. Hard.

sunny, sunny florida
It’s been too long, my
palmy, sandy friend. Pour me
a tall Sea Breeze, please.

independence? depends
The land where some are
free, and the home of a few
brave. Long may she live.

the master of the grill
Clean grate, piles of meat.
Get the heat steady, get the
tongs ready. Let’s cook.

unmasked
Tavern full of smiles.
Hearts gladdened by handshakes and
hugs as we gather.

slow ride, but in 17 syllables
They’d call out requests,
and the humble scribe penned such
mediocre verse.

the blinder leading the blind
Sure, I know the way,
I hollered while nervously
checking the compass.

the long road ahead
The car was loaded.
The tank was full. And we were
on our way back home.

the wicked tongue
Don’t ask me. I’ll just
fill your head with such lies and
pleasantries no end.

rap squad
They would turn their pain
into rhymes, their rhymes into
beats, beats into truth.

smallest talk
“I love to hike. Where
do you hike near here?” “Around
the hill or the valley.”

pent-up post-pandemic priorities
Every restaurant
has a 3-hour wait. Ain’t
this what we wanted?

we’re all in this together
Back to flipping off
drivers, blasting staff. Were we
ever civilized?

manufactured outage 2021
Trans kids on sports teams,
Critical Race Theory and
(boo!) vaccine passports.

the secret to managing your to-do giant list
Resetting deadlines
far into the future and
marking that lie “done.”

birmingham-style pizza
A crusty pie with
vinegar-based sauce and an
overrated rep.

president boring
An Oval Office
where the occupant listens
and leads with a plan.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 56

Wade Kwon — Thu, 08 Apr 2021 05:00:06 +0000

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banned words, 2020 edition
Pandemic, lockdown,
social distancing, face mask,
coronavirus.

the fights long since forgotten
An apology
sheepish and belated still
merits acceptance.

almost midnight
If you’ve read this far:
Congratulations, you sur-
vived 2020.

2021 and bust
Never have we been
so grateful to see the dawn
of another year.

more and more winter
It is frostier,
outside and inside, spreading
shivers, slowing time.

easiest resolution ever
Join the gym and get
fit. Once pandemic ends and
it’s safe again. (wink!)

the need for work
It’s tough to make an
honest living when good jobs
can hardly be found.

american exceptionalism
Don’t worry: Other
countries have safety nets. The
U.S. has women.

revenge of mr. privilege
Don’t mess with me. I
can have you fired with the
slightest of complaints.

community won’t
A quaint notion, that
“common good,” the unfounded
trust in decency.

a friendship on pause
Uncomfortable
silence sprinkled with regrets
and mild annoyance.

the trust
By the time she found
out about it, most of the
money was long gone.

save the drama from your mama
Family intrigue
draws some closer together
to push others out.

anything for a buck store
Weed that flourishes
in the unkempt neighborhoods,
choking out the rest.

silent menace
The white walls steepen
overnight. No way out but
through. Dig and dig deep.

the undiscovered circuitry
A new gadget brings
the joy of figuring it
out, making it work.

lessons of 2020
How to beat COVID.
How to steal an election.
And Black Lives Matter.

acceptance? radical
Pain? Mandatory.
Suffering? Entirely
optional to you.

jab, jab, knockout
The first shot and a
little arm soreness. The next
shot: immunity.

the digital everlasting gobstopper
Browse for underwear.
See ads for underwear in
every site, page, dream.

the volunteer spirit
We give what we can.
We give away and make things.
We spend time and cash.

mismatched deathbed confessions
“We thought it was a
hoax, and we were wrong.” “We still
think it’s a damn hoax.”

impeachment was just the beginning
Indict the former
president. Hold him account-
able for his crimes.

the listicle is life
The 50 greatest
years of my life, ranked by joy,
wins and shock value.

the gig’s up
Swipe right for soulmates,
cab drivers, dog walkers and
food deliverers.

celestial indicators
Somewhere is a live
dashboard tracking your every
good deed and bad thought.

a pileup of words
Read or cook dinner.
Read or binge-watch. Read or take
a nap. Read or skim.

invasion of the moths
Corner by corner,
room by room, they stake claims on
our territory.

youtopiatube
Five hundred thousand
channels to wile away the
idle days of youth.

the disposable army
The most menial
of tasks for the least pay for
the richest tyrants.

pandemic paradox
The worse the sickness,
the more we gather without
any precautions.

raise the clotilda
A slave ship returns
to the Bama port after
a lengthy detour.

beyond open mic night
Comedians who
goof on TikTok, tweet trendy
jokes and live next door.

chocolate chip champion
Her prowess with a
mixer and batter grew with
every batch she baked.

the nature of hobbies
An element of
frustration becoming its
own perverse pleasure.

six more months of covid
Fauci pops out of
quarantine and spots shadows
of anti-maskers.

it came from craigslist
Zones where barterers
can meet without getting mugged
or shot in the face.

gamestart
A reality
show pitting hedge funds against
day trading neckbeards.

virtual laggard
A bot filled in for
me for a bit. No one had
noticed or minded.

the battle of january 6
Marauders hell-bent
on toppling democracy
and hanging its reps.

the donald j. trump presidential library
The pee tape and the
“Access Hollywood” tape, found
inside Cell Block D.

a new job in the pandemic
Please report to your
manager in the kitchen
via your laptop.

weaponizing bullshit
An empire of
media and hucksters with
greedy intentions.

transactional family
Quid pro quo, scratching
of backs, greasing of palms, an
incestuous trade.

the first lesson of black history month
Those who cannot re-
member the Black past are con-
demned to repeat it.

techwar
Fighting spam, malware.
Computers were supposed to
make lives easier.

catch me inside how bout dah
We think we have the
virus figured out. It then
rolls out new guises.

cupid as warden
Raise a glass to the
relationships that endured
12 months of lockdown.

minimum wage leads to
Minimum food, health,
gas, clothing, stability
and maximum stress.

ol’ reliable
The steady belief
that everything will last as
long as hope’s alive.

the rotting underbelly
Beneath the veneer,
a soul badly in need of
deep understanding.

the doctor on duty
Healer risks it all
to save lungs from the global
menace behind masks.

do-si-dont’s
Even the smallest
ingredient shows proof of
exploited children.

rip moms and pops
Who lent a hand to
the struggling small business when
the pandemic struck?

binge spectating
The secret joy of
reading about TV is
skipping those clunkers.

a perfectly cromulent verse
Using slang can be
dangerous since it’s always
boodling the watchet.

the wanderer
She found it easy
to pick up and move, swanning
to untouched locales.

the data detective
Where had it gone off
course, this trail of zeroes and
ones landing afield?

temporal madness
To not sleep, to push
and push through hours and days
with no set schedule.

that one driver
Cut someone off in
traffic, watch them tail you till
home to cuss you out.

a not-so-simple delivery
Hunting for common
items but unable to
fill the shopping cart.

goin’ off the deep end
Friday night is here.
Time to plan all the great ways
to spend a weekend!

a muse bushed
Creative writer
seeks inspiration for the
next set of verses.

a walk through the woods in winter
Bundle up and brave
the cold. Head for the trails to
commune with nature.

rumble in the cubicle
Not even the grumps
at the office can keep me
from smiling at life.

1 zzzzz
She passed out before
counting, so the sheep snuck off
very quietly.

two-thirds awake
A third of our lives
in bed. A third of our time
shrouded in slumber.

you’re gonna need a bigger bed
To be cuddled by
a pack of warm furry friends
is to know comfort.

nocturnal visions
A surreal melange
of made-up memories and
dreamy wanderings.

the 140-hour workweek
So refreshing was
the long winter’s nap that she
slept for two more days.

a miracle in a vial
We can destroy a
tiny bug by shooting up
folks with a vaccine.

discommunication
Email, Slack, phones, fax,
texts, voicemails … and yet colleagues
can’t seem to connect.

wires crossed
Don’t give in to the
IT desk. Turn off, turn on,
defenestrate it.

natural neglect
Weeds and rodents have
claimed this fertile ground. Can this
garden rise again?

probably apple and peach
Anyone could tell
that the translucent bag had
a mess of fried pies.

kids, covid and contagion in education
The physical toll
on those in classrooms, mental
toll on those at home.

out and prodigal
Never too old to
run away from home, but to
return is tougher.

at least the billionaires are thriving
The people are stuck
with no income, and the jobs
may never come back.

and you’ll like it
They celebrated
their hard-working staff with some
cake and empty praise.

caucasoid cachet
A diverse group of
employees politely clapped
for white promotions.

the two seasons
It’s spring, nope it’s still
winter. It’s spring! Nah, winter.
Please let it be spring.

somewhat after the fact
How many times in
life do you get to bequeath
your stuff? Oh, right … none.

mired in greatness
Is the challenge of
diversity recruitment?
Or bold ideas?

pledge to our selves
We make time for the
things that are important to
us, no matter what.

forget the gas pump
Nowhere to be, no
one to meet, a driveway with
an abandoned car.

a zoom to remember
It is lovely to
spend the night getting older
with virtual friends.

native advertising
I’m at my best when
serving others. I have a
lot of love to give.

the online introvert
He could take the chit
chat for only so long. He
logged off in a huff.

frugal milestones
She celebrated
her newfound wealth by paying
off her auto loan.

my own postal route
I get plenty of
exercise taking others’
mail to their houses.

so long, suckers
They would turn their backs
on nonbelievers, as their
community shrank.

cleverness masked as decorum
A sharper wit can
allow you to speak ill of
the dead with a smirk.

the joke’s on all of us
Fake news, voter fraud,
QAnon, alt-right, Fox News,
vaccines, Russian tweets.

needling around
Get a third shot to
be extra safe and extra
autistic. JK!!!!

the asian in asian american
A minority
modeled on racial divides
and no acceptance.

sunday starting over
The promise of a
rebirth for all, a fresh start
from our sinful pasts.

asian persuasion
Not every person
of color gets asked “Where are
you from?” Lucky us.

the creepy uncle
They took down an old
predator, but it took great
courage and candor.

self care 2021
Taking off work clothes
(pajamas) and slipping in-
to a nice coma.

the persistent undercurrent
His mellow moods were
betrayed by a beautiful
depression deep down.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 55

Wade Kwon — Mon, 28 Dec 2020 06:00:06 +0000

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the joy of wearing stuff out
Each possession, bright
and sturdy, used and used and
used till broken down.

the very quiet foreign girls poetry group
Their broken English
made for elegant stanzas
of their existence.

having tea with the muse
Places are set for
two, she comes and goes (mostly
goes) as she pleases.

the wonder of autumn
Celebrate crunching
of the leaves, cooling of the
days, cups of cider.

something in the air
Health care’s finest are
sitting down to lunch while they’re
poisoning the room.

the wait for a vaccine
Racing for a cure,
taking all the shortcuts, most
of us won’t partake.

youtube and the alt-right
The endless stream wreaks
radicalization, from
recommendations.

the oldies
Those songs from that long
ago era when ancients
roamed the discotheques.

virtue wriggling
Don’t pretend Black Lives
Matter while treating your peers
and colleagues like dirt.

where to sit in a pandemic
The signs on every
other table say to stay
away. The rest? Fine!

to play ball
A pause from shooting
hoops, catching pop-ups, to fight
police violence.

dreaming of the harvest
Little seeds, big plans,
rows of hope and dirt-covered
jeans, come sun, come rain.

when crisis management needs crisis management
Forging safety for
a nation divided puts
us in more danger.

up-to-the-minute bad news
It’s never been more
fashionable to shoot the
messenger point blank.

a foreign policy built on human rights
Not to invade and
conquer, but to assist and
leave somewhat better.

one russian, one vote
Interference means
our picks don’t matter, our hopes
and voices poisoned.

play balls
Every sport all at
once, a smorgasbord and a
true fan’s worst nightmare.

it started today in 2005
I’ve written haiku
daily for 15 years and
don’t plan on stopping.

safety fatigue
Playing by the rules
sucks when everyone else does
whatever they want.

a library is more than just books
It’s readers, crafty
librarians, free-range kids
and random townsfolk.

the reading-is-contagious book club
The ladies, without
masks, piled into the living
room to gossip, gloat.

everything is coronavirus
Scratchy throat, a cough
(but only once in a while),
bleeding from the eyes.

ode to the post office
Sometimes surly, but
able to take my letter
for only four bits.

how people are voting
In person on time
or early, by mail or drop
box, hopeful, anxious.

halloween improvised
Bobbing for vaccines.
Trick or grab-and-go bagged treat.
Masks and nothing else.

web two-point-whoa
Doomscrolling on a
Wednesday night, watching all the
misery out there.

dujuan, far from home
Aboriginal
healer, just 10, struggled with
school and the system.

gasping for revenue
Every town scraping
by till we reopen it
all someday, some year.

ready to dream about bones
A pittie in his
PJs scampers to and fro,
comfy and happy.

ones, zeroes and solutions
We collect all this
data and ask it how we
should manage our lives.

witches and black cats, too
Carve a jack-o’-lan-
tern, put it in a mask. Hang
a skeleton. Same.

benched
A football team with
too many positives must
sit out the season.

a pandemic pickle
The restaurants are
too crowded and not crowded
enough to survive.

ruth bader ginsburg
She fought and fought and
fought for women to be all
treated equally.

death of a hard drive
Stop playing dead and
give me my files! Or else I’ll …
curl up on the floor.

why vote?
For democracy.
To choose our leaders. To stick
it to the Russians.

breonna taylor
In her apartment,
an innocent bystander
shot by cops six times.

reading as an immersion
I want to read with
my eyes, my ears, my fingers.
I want words to last.

our place in history
A corrupt regime
that we helped bring about while
resisting feebly.

he wouldn’t wear a mask
He wouldn’t wear a
mask, not to shop or browse, not
for him or for you.

little pupils, big caution
All day, they stayed in
the one classroom, but they were
together again.

life on venus
Microscopic cells
who enjoy a plush sauna
and full privacy.

trick or treatment
*doorbell* *temperature
check* *hand sanitizer* *tongs*
*drop candy* Repeat.

on-the-job inspiration
A posted sign: The
beatings will continue un-
til morale improves.

remote hazing
OMG what’s that
behind you?! Ha! Made you look.
(Please unmute yourself.)

vote early and often
The good people have
spoken early this year: They’ve
already voted.

every four years
The anxiety,
the held breath, the wait to see
victory or loss.

where were we?
Let’s get back to the
business of running and/or
ruining this land.

sean connery
A sub captain, a
spy and an Irish copper
walk into a bar …

tailgate in the driveway
Playing it safe by
grilling at home and saving
on the parking fees.

be kind to yourself
Treat yourself gently
as you would your best friend and
show yourself some love.

spare hurricane names
Unbreakable codes,
hieroglyphs, nail polish shades,
semaphores, Klingon.

it’s all uphill from here
A steady job, a
purpose in life … man, this dude
Sisyphus rocked it.

a national debt
When will we give them
the highest honor, keeping
them safe post-service?

a meme-based economy
Not by your wealth nor
the sweat of your brow but your
drolly captioned pics.

a tiktok economy
Dancing for likes, lip-
synching for views, being your
performative self.

the third wave
Restless for human
interaction, so tired
of hunkering down.

the heart of 2020
One crisis after
another and another
and another and …

a strange neighborhood
Walking past tidy
lawns and construction sites in
night’s semi-darkness.

the confrontation that wasn’t a confrontation
They demanded to
meet with her only to tell
her good job, sort of.

and a few misspelled words
Sending a text with
random punctuation % enh,
they’ll figure it out^

cheers under a faltering light
They snuck glasses of
wine when parents weren’t watching
and drank to good times.

at least we still have power
Why does everything
break down after the checking
account is tapped out?

stylish strokes
Typographically
speaking, the best fonts convey
meaning in an “a.”

but would they let them drive?
Rule for astro-chimps:
They would not make the monkey
launch the dang rocket.

ultimate sins
Doctors: malpractice
suits, death. Priests: molesting kids.
Reporters: lying.

thankful for
The strength to survive
such an outrageous year while
faking sanity.

sweet sassy molassy
I hate when tweets end
with declarative bull. That’s
it. That’s the haiku.

pilgrims, indians and social distancing
Do not gather, but
give thanks for the good health that
makes it possible.

blackest friday
Jam the stores! This cruel
pandemic economy
needs sacrifices.

finding meaning in art if not the artist
The artist can be
an utter wanker, yet still
create works of art.

confessions of a trivia winner
Trust your gut. Keep an
eye on the competition.
Sometimes, take a guess.

waltzing autumnal
Twirl in the moonlight
surrounded by shadows deep
in the pumpkin patch.

gifts by the 23rd at the latest
The naughty list grew
so big this year that Santa
just needs a hatchback.

mr. privilege
Do what I want when
I want and let the rest of
the planet be damned.

old growth, new stump
A tree falls with help.
Men with their chainsaws carve it
into huge matchsticks.

cold snap
The house? Perfectly
comfortable 68.
Me? Shivering so.

madam vice president
Kamala, like a
breath of fresh air. Kamala,
let’s be inspired.

the roosting of our sins
Meeting up without
a mask. Flaunting our freedom.
Getting sick in droves.

about living in historical times
Has 2020
taught us anything? Are we
doomed to repeat it?

inclement no more
Snow comes and blankets
the roads, and antsy children
are stuck in Zoom school.

other casualties of the pandemic
Shopping local has
never been quicker since so
many stores have closed.

dark ages the sequel
Emerging from 4
years of smearing science and
setting up scapegoats.

autumn at ruffner
Up the mountain we
hiked. Down the mountain we sped.
All along we breathed.

stabilization
Her burden feels a
little lighter, her panic
starting to subside.

2020 gonna 2020
On the first day of
Christmas, my true love gave to
me, COVID-19.

the slutty locksmith
Dirty locks, shiny
keys. Opening the doors to
pleasure and tool sheds.

symptoms and strategy
Can economy
recover without beating
virus? So far, no.

the other sickness
Unbelievable
stress, new anxiety, lone-
liness. Minds unwell.

where once were office parties
Log in and wear your
finest Christmas jammies while
sipping spiked eggnog.

the proud pittie in the back yard
Atop the stump, he
surveyed the land around him,
and it pleased him so.

the 99-year-old passive-aggressive samaritan
Her burdensome texts
let us know exactly how
she felt about strays.

pandemic baby boom
Welcome to all the
new Coronas and Faucis
into this masked world.

a new season, i guess
That bleak sky. Growing
madness in quarantine. The
grimness of winter.

for the loved ones we keep safe
One more Facetime. Some
cookies and sweaters in the
mail. Saving up hugs.

a wish list
Vaccines in every
stocking, relief checks for the
jobless, hope for all.

the constant of children’s joy
Let them sing with glee.
Let them dream of sugar plums.
Let them wake with gifts.

all for the birthday boy
An evening party
with a barnyard theme and odd
assortment of gifts.

the monocultural experience
Back to a world in
which we share hardships and small
wins, pathos and grit.

a girl and her horse
Once ornery, he
softened under her guidance,
riding proud as one.