Wafflecone

The Lion Inequality and Fear of Roundworms

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:24:00 +0000

This is all I could think about during my physics class last week.

This week has been busy, which creates time for procrastination, which means a blog post. I haven't written anything of substance for a time.

Spring break was horrible in the best way imaginable. It would have been a failure, and it was, but I found it comically so, which was (a bit) redeeming. I feel I can cross road-trip off my pitiful list of life achievements. I think it could make for a darkly funny anecdote, but I'm not sure how to approach it yet. If I had to pick one highlight right now... perhaps the doll barber salon at the American Girl Store? And they have tea parties! Delightful!

I'm taking an advertising class right now that I am loving so far. There is a class blog where we are to submit and comment on various advertisements. I haven't decided what my particular advert will be yet. I have at least fifteen ads favorited on youtube, so I'm not at a loss for substance, especially if public service announcements or political campaign advertisements qualify. I think writing about a guerrilla marketing campaign might be interesting, but I may save it for a midterm or whatnot. The most fun, however, is an "idea book." It's like getting a grade for doodling! I've been recording some of my "more interesting" ideas for sometime now, and its strange having to turn them in, but I hope they enjoy reading it.

Alas, I am sad I cannot attend the Spinal Tap concert this weekend, although it's titled "unwigged and unplugged," which loses half the fun.

In conclusion: I really like it when things are proclaimed as allies. Sometimes when things are BFF's that is OK too.

36 people are not a fan. Become a fan.

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 23:18:00 +0000

I've written about FaceSpace many times before and I don't have much time to elaborate on how I love this, but perhaps you will also enjoy it.

My parents are dead!

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 07:12:00 +0000

I'm experiencing a blend of accomplishment and shame. It took me quite a while, but I managed to size down an ascii Batman to fit in that trite little box Facebook put under profile pictures. Behold:

(`I'M_THE_`)oo.ooo.oooooooo
(`GODDAMN`)ol\__\ooooooo
(_BATMAN!_)ool#ò_ó\oooooo
ooooooooo\,\ool#[~_] ooooo
ooooooooo____l# '- \___ooo
oooooooo/.-------.___.----'\oo
ooooooo//#####___###\ooo
ooooo//###.-.#(w¥w)#/ooo
oooool'l##/\:###.--##/#\oo

I wish I could say it looks better on Facebook, but it doesn't really. One of many recent complaints with Facebook. Foremost of them: why is there a like button but no dislike button? I want to disprove of my friends actions through the electronic ether. Seperated by space, but not from condescension!

Come back with that statue!

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:53:00 +0000

This made me laugh a little bit.

Today has been weird. On Facebook, I found the profile of one of my current professors after he half-jokingly said he wanted to be my friend on Facebook. I assumed he was joking when he said he had one, but now I'm tempted to add him. I also stumbled on the profile of my elementary school music teacher. She's friends with someone I knew in high school. I'm still reeling from the friend request from my aunt.

Aside from these things I've spent the day counting some fruitflys and reading about a genetic origin of homosexuality. Then I spent some time trying to find this awesome sculpture at DIA on Google Earth, but it hasn't been updated. I'm a little embarassed to say, I think I found the house from the latest Real World. I think maybe later I might try to find a whale.

Oh, and this.

Ten Days to Singles Awareness Day

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 17:50:00 +0000

I'd be more tempted to see this if I hadn't been so let down by Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

I dugg this a while ago, and apparently it happened in Texas. The maintenance worker quoted seemed more concerned about the traffic risks than the false zombie alarm. Clearly, they have their priorities mixed up. Also based on my experience in public works, I don't believe they really locked up the sign.

Having Fun Isn't Hard

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:01:00 +0000

Youtube recently revamped its search feature, but that can't stop me from finding nostalgic clips from PBS series!

I find myself blogging most often when I should be doing something else. Some people clean when they procrastinate, I tell the interblag what I found on the PBS website (Not the Arthur clip).

I just requested numerous items that probably won't arrive in time to help write the midterm I requested them for. But they still look interesting! A few of them were videos, so I may watch those if I remember to pick them up in time.

Did you know the song "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singin' In The Rain is actually plagerized? It's true! I read it on the internet. I'd play the more you know sound appropriately here, if I had it on my soundtrack shirt, which I do not wear enough. I'll get there. Currently, I'm still trying to optimize the rest of my daily wear. I think I want to add lights -- to avoid Doomesque situations.

Anyways, the original sidetracking thought was a new PBS series I was fortunate to catch last week about (the history of American?) comedy. I only caught the tail end and it's not on dvd yet since it hasn't finished its initial run, I suppose. There's an episode tonight. They have a web-exclusive episode called "Teh Internets". I can't wait to watch it! Unfortunately, I'm in the library and don't have time (it's 30 minutes) to watch it today. But you should!

iDeadpool

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 21:11:00 +0000

This was my birthday breakfast. It was delicious. I'd like to thank Holy Taco for the amazing idea.

I'd like to begin 2009 by asking for a moratorium on using pronouns as prefixes. It's ridiculous and it needs to end. It doesn't making your product seem more hip. Stop it.

I only seem to blog when I'm procrastinating, although I maintain my moblog and twitter accounts fairly consistently. I've been meaning to muse on some things for the past month and I've probably forgotten most of them by now. I'll try to address a few of them.

Wrapping the year up: One person on my 2008 deadpool passed, Gordon Hinkley. I'm really rather disapointed in myself given the impressive number of deaths in the past year. I'm hoping to do better this year, as morbid as that is. Clearly, I don't want any of these people to die, but I also like being right and feeling slightly prophetic. You can play along at home too! Just write down the top ten notable people you feel may expire in the coming year. The person with the most deceased on their list at the end of the year gets the satisfaction of knowing they're responsible for the world being a little less bright. It's fun!

On blogging: I made 264 posts on this blog, passing the 500 and 700 post marks. I also created my moblog, which has over 3,500 posts of useless thoughts, and a comblog(?) which is a bit of both? I'll probably add a twitter widget to that eventually too, likely instead of writing a paper of some sort.

Today's procrastination is buying textbooks. Although I'm excited for the new semester, I don't especially care to get dressed, instead savoring having the apartment to myself. I'm taking one class on television genres, which I've very much looking forward to. Perhaps it will be like this South Park class? Or perhaps we will touch on Buffy Studies. I'm just excited I'll be reading House and Philosophy, although much less to be Reading Sex and the City, but I'm sure it will be interesting.

Finally, here's my 2009 Deadpool:

Deadpool '09

Les Paul

Sasha Grey
Van Morrison
Marian McPartland
James D. Watson
Ursula K. Le Guin
Patrick Swayze
Steve Jobs
Gene Wilder

Jack Kevorkian

Game Over

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:30:00 +0000

I'd just like to point out that one of the fifth place contender(s) in that American Apparel costume contest I mentioned before was a series of Tetris blocks. Though I didn't include any of their products in my costume and was thus ineligible (I didn't have time to buy tights), think my costume is superior since it lacks the goofy looking face windows that totally detract realism. My actual only complaint, besides the inherent loneliness of being the only block, is how hot the costume got, which was a very nice considering the weather. Fortunately it didn't rain, though I'm confident it would have held up pretty well. I was happy with it. If I can find appropriete boxes and approprietely sized friends, I might try to make more. I got the boxes for free from Target, Party City, and a few others (most places have a surplus that just get recycled although it took a while to find matching sizes). Overall, it ended up costing less than twenty five dollars with the primary expense being the three rolls of white duct tape I went through. I posted pictures on my mobile blog as I went. Drunk pedestrians really enjoyed the costume. Many wanted to talk about it, or at least confirm that I was, in fact, the greatest video game character evar, which was difficult for me as I wanted to stay in character. The L-Block doesn't speak, though I would occasionally awkwardly pantomime with my torso and legs. The strangest adjulations proclaimed their hatred of rubix cubes.

I Vote Kittens

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 00:52:00 +0000

(PROTIP: Never search a local news site for the term "puppy." You will only find sadness.)

I guess I've been following my senatatorial race too closely, the most gripping political story is unfolding and I almost missed it! If you watched Obama's victory speech, you know that Obama promised his daughters a puppy. But what breed will they get? America wants to know!

Still no word from the league btw

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 00:41:00 +0000

This was my Halloween costume. It's not as original as everyone thought.

I missed it. Actually, I didn't know Portland had one. Ugh. I can't say I would have tried to attend had I known. I know I don't want to miss Zompire this spring. I'm also a little disappointed that I can't make it to Live Wire! this weekend. I'd love to see John Hodgman and Jonathon Coulton.

I need tights for my costume

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:28:00 +0000

I don't have time for a full post right now, but following my Halloween related posts, I thought I ought to link to an amazing applicant in American Apparel's DIY Costume Contest.

Enflamed with Passion

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:08:00 +0000

I cannot draw penises this well.

I've never counted exactly how many feeds I'm subscribed to, but they extend almost to my status bar. Perhaps I'll do a screen cap sometime. There are some I only skim and others I wait to check. I'm not even sure why I added Upside Down Dogs to it; all the posts are titled "Photo". Of my many subscriptions, I strongly recommend Passive Aggressive Notes. The image above is my favorite post yet. It actually wasn't included in the post proper but it is absolutely fantastic. My favorite comment:

The orange penis is not ejaculating.
His genie is going back inside!

A blog is fine too

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:12:00 +0000

I wanted to do a research paper on Louis Wain, but it wasn't viable.

I had some midterms this week. I'm not happy with my performance. I'll blame Leibniz rather than Newton since I think I did splendidly on my physics test. Did you know Leibniz invented binary notation? Neat!

But that's not important.

I've started on my Halloween costume. It is not one of these, but it will be great. More on that at a later date.

Anyways, what I wanted to comment upon was something I encountered doing another ethics assignment.This time it was about bloggers and citizen journalism and standards of professionalism and... The case study was about Josh Wolfe and whether he is a journalist or not. I came down on the affirmitive side. If I was allowed to cite Wikipedia I'd point that he is included in the category: American journalists, but his Journalist of the Year award is better evidence. I'm sure that was one of the citerion they used when considering that categorization as well. As the class went on, I realized the class didn't share this opinion. I'm an introvert naturally and even more so when I feel myself in the minority opinion. I'm not elequent enough to win an argument against so many. I know the internet is serious business, but the class just sounded like Andrew Keen. I know by writing this, I am confirming many of the criticisms they expressed. In my amateur opinion they sounded a little afraid of the Internet. I don't blame them, but being a luddite just makes you sound butt-hurt. Everyone knows the internet is just for porn and cats anyways.

I've digressed. I did a little reading about Mr. Wolf while I was hastily writing why the Internet needs protection and found that he ran for mayor of San Fransisco in 2007. He failed spectacularly. More interesting to me were the write-in candiates. One vote for Robert McCullough and he's in the municipal history books. I just got my ballot, perhaps I shall try for some of this cheap immortality.

Pseudonymity

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 11:55:00 +0000

I find I work best in the early morning. It's strange but seems to work fairly well assuming I don't grossly underestimate the time and work required or my ink supply. Today's task is from my mass media ethics class and is about...ethics. The case study specifically concerns the creation of shill accounts and their effect on society and the marketplace. I wanted to find some mention of the wikiality that takes place on Wikipedia. I can't be sure how often it takes place, but I would suggest more often than Wikipedians will admit. Perhaps ironically, on the page dealing with criticisms of Wikipedia, including inaccurate and sometimes non-existent sourcing for controversial assertions in articles there are several dead external links. It seems that the North Adams Transcript doesn't keep an active archive. Whoops.

Despite it's many flaws, I still consider Wikipedia a nobel endeavor. I have both admiration and pity for those who spend their freetime editting a free encyclopedia. I'm not sure why they do it. I'm even less sure why toast shows up on the list of most vandalized pages.

In related news, I recently went to a little seminar featuring the creator of wiki technology, Ward Cunningham. It was very interesting.

Virtually Connected

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 19:35:00 +0000

[Pictured: Delicia Fay]

I keep a mobile blog. I've thought of just using Twitter, but then I remember that no one cares about the minutiae of my life, including myself. So I'm content to post inane things for my own gratification happy to know no one but myself will ever read them. But occasionally, I'll see something fantastic on Twitter and want to join. Perhaps Assisted Homicide needs to tweet @Bad Horse.

I've really wanted waffles the last few days

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 22:21:00 +0000

The night before this was due I had a dream some old biddy accused me of not being a hardcore Whedon fan.

I don't read io9 as much as I really ought to. It is simply too much amazing for me to handle. I fear would never release me from its tentacle vortex of wonderful things. I was checking it out today because they mentioned the Evil League of Evil contest that recently closed and I stumbled upon this Lego Zombie diorama. But sometimes, it is just sad. Anyways, I'm in the library and should probably get to class pretty soon.

Baby Pig

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 22:09:00 +0000

Piglets are adorable.

I like to think of waffles as corrugated pancakes

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 23:40:00 +0000

You know, I just now realized that I neglected to mentioned that I set up an aggregate page to show my most recent blog posts from both this location and my mobile blog, although the latter has a slight delay. As a bonus, it also shows the last few items I dugg. I think it's pretty neat.

And no other girls can say anything about it

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 22:01:00 +0000

This is so amazing. More amazing: instructions.

I went to the local Spirit Halloween store the other day. Although I didn't get anything for myself, I was very much tempted by this. The past year I stayed home and handed out candy dressed as a ninja. It's a costume of convenience I've used in years past. When I'm not sneaking in them, I use the ninja sweatpants for lounging. I've always loved the costume aspect of the holiday the most and picked outfits as a youth that I knew I'd like to play with or wear later (jealous!). I'd love to try to make my own costume now that I have some sewing proficiency, but time and money make it difficult. However, I am in love with these recycled costumes. Even better, some of the creators have shared instructions so you ~~can~~ try to make one too. I'm not sure how cute I'd look in an umbrella bat costume. Also, people who use umbrellas are pansies.

Also Featured: Home Lap Dancing Kit

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:44:00 +0000

This one is in the "gifts4men section"

Wait, you need a kit for that? And it costs $18.94?

Or a Spring Loaded Bowstaff

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:40:00 +0000

This is in the "gifts4women" section where you can also find rings covered in hair.

I attribute part of my blogging silence to my conversion to Digg. Feedburner showing me that my audience consists entirely of Googlebots didn't help and a few subtle changes to ScribeFire haven't helped either, but when the best things on the internet are presented so neatly, what more can I say? Anyways, this is about three clicks removed from Digg, through Gizmodo to which I also subscribe but missed. Anyways, the price seems quite reasonable for a discreet stripper pole, although I imagine shipping will be pricey. Fortunately, they have a deal:

The subtitle troubles me, but I'm not sure which part more so. Clearly this is a product intended for adults, but then they take it further and clarify that it is a fun product. The repetition of kit also seems gratuitous, but I imagine it may all be a clerical thing... to differentiate it from the freestyle blow jobs? But if this product interests you, don't let my trite observations dissuade you; it has a very complimentary review:

it used to be so messy and it was such a chore to clean up afterwards. but with the blow job kit we can do it all night long with no problem. - mattie, utah

Yay, Utah!

Legends Never Die

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 04:10:00 +0000

This has no need for a witty quip.

I made this post a few months ago where I briefly discussed a Kiss comic book I found at Barnes and Noble. Turns out there is also a webcomic. But if I'm recommending webcomics, I really must suggest Dr. McNinja as well.

This is silly

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:05:00 +0000

I haven't written anything in a while, but I will link to this story:

Mormon facing discipline over shirtless calendar | KATU.com - Portland, Oregon | National & World News

Coming of Age

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 01:36:00 +0000

I'm currently using this book as a coaster for my Mountain Dew

I am doing quite well currently, excluding this awful business and that I had to break into an emergency cache of jerky. You see, you can't have too much jerky. Well, you can, but I'm not terribly concerned that I'll build up a fatal amount of ammonia; I have to urinate far too often for that, courtesy of Mountain Dew.

One reason for my current bliss is this and also this, though to a lesser extent than the former. I find that I can only play in a sandbox for so long before it starts exfoliating my ear canals, among other regions.

In any case, it is summer and I'm feeling great. Over the course of my many, many anecdotes (I'd dictate them here, but the flamboyant gestures I make are essential to the telling) I've noticed a common thread: there are years of my life where I did absolutely nothing. I realize that can't actually be true, but subjectively, it is. I've established before that my memory is, at best, fractional. I wouldn't mind having an eidetic memory, but I think life would be so much less mysterious with one. That's not to say I wouldn't mind knowing where I had put my jerky (I suspect theft, but can't be certain). However, it seems in all my anecdotes I am either 4, 6, 8, 10, or 15 years old, depending on the content and connotation of the story I've caught myself on a few occasions embellishing a story with one of these false ages when I can clearly recall that I must have been a particular age based off whatever inkling. But why these ages and what do they illustrate?

We'll start with the age I didn't include, thirteen. I'm never thirteen in my accounts because I was a wholly uninteresting teenager at this age. I did nothing interesting, had very few friends, and was generally timid and greasy. You can see how little has changed. Example of a story from when I was thirteen:

I was sitting at a computer in the library, where I spent the second half of every period, looking up Lego Mindstorms in all their pre-Y2k majesty when I girl I fancied began to walk over. It was one whom I had briefly attended elementary school with and I remembered her being intelligent and had filled out quite nicely. I realize now that as an angsty middle schooler with no social life my minimum requires for shagging (intelligence and grace) were unreasonably high, but it was safe to say that I fancied this girl. Although I understood little of the fairer sex at the time, when she saw my moniter---I was looking at goddamn Legos!---the almost reflexive "Oh," saturated in a disapointed inflection I could imitate even now, made it clear that any feelings I might have had would forever remain unrequited.

That is my middle school experience distilled. You can see why I tell everyone about it.

The other ages are fairly easy to figure out. As I can't reliably remember what I did yesterday, a disconcerting thought at times, it seems absurd to believe that I might remember anything that happened to me before age four. Hell, I had an issue with object permanence the other day while playing Team Fortress 2, which is also a hilarious anecdote for another time perhaps. Age six perhaps connotes a predominance of childhood whimsy that I have yet to abandon. Ten connotes some, perhaps a burgeoning, degree of intelligence, although I'm pretty certain I was a huge dick then as well. And age fifteen seems removed enough from those incredibly awkward middle school years to represent the slightly less awkward high school years.

But most of my childhood stories take place when I am eight. The quanitity of stories would suggest that this was the most exciting year of my life, and it's possible, but it is just as likely that I am conflating events. In fact, I am certain I am. I like to think of myself as an anomaly in my family, but my brother's erratic behavior implies that I could not have been so vibrant so young. I would contend that he may be the anomalous one, but I hold no desire to be compared to any of my relations, immediate or otherwise. Anyways, I think I picked age eight, as opposed to seven or nine, because in mormon culture it is a rite of passage to reach the age of accountability and be baptised. For the record, I see no evidence of ethics in my brother at all; however, in my anecdotes I think I wish to connote a semblance of morality or I would have picked another age. Although it could be that it simply sounds a lot better to say "when I was eight" than the adjacent alternatives, and that does sound like all the reason I'd need to do something. I'm incredibly capricious.

Also, jerky is delicious.

Upgraded

noreply@blogger.com (Waffles) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:11:00 +0000

Something horrible happened to me. I lost all my bookmarks. Thankfully, it happened just after I finished my finals. I've been too busy to worry about or address it but it's still frustrating. The bright side is that it cleaned out all the favorites I never bothered to revisit. The downside is that I have no idea what those favorites were.

Another unfortunate thing is that with the release of Firefox 3.0 many of my add-ons aren't compatible with the new version. Fortunately, ScribeFire isn't one of those. Don't let me give you the wrong impression, I'm very excited to break in my new browser, if not to reset all my feeds. What else is new?

I'll tell you later.