Wait! ... how many points is that?

Wee Ooo Wee Ooo Wee Ooo

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Tue, 24 May 2011 02:28:00 +0000

That was my impression of a police siren. Pretty good right?
Moving on,
Just got back from a walk. It was great. I felt my mood brightening as the sun went down over the creeks that we were walking along. Shakopee really does have nice walking areas and we are lucky enough to have nice ones right by the apartments.

View from balcony

I have decided that I need to get out of the house daily (and the walk to work from my car and then from work back to my car doesn't count...anymore). I know that when I combine fresh air and exercise I sleep better and just plain ol' feel better! I don't know many people who feel down-in-the-dumps after a quick jaunt outside. Do you?
So I thought I would post an article to give everyone ideas on how to truly get to know your town (or towns nearby) and what they offer when it comes to getting you active and outside...good ideas
http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=1081&sc=3039

So, I am asking you readers to also post your tips for keeping exercising outside fun and changing...and where you like to walk (I am willing to drive to beautiful walking spots!)
DON'T BE SHY! I want to hear from people...it's what keeps me blogging and on-track! Otherwise I tend to slack on the posting...which keeps me from being held accountable

Happy, Happy Easter!

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 02:44:00 +0000

Hey All,
Happy Easter to everyone (or if you do not celebrate...happy beautiful spring day!). I had such a wonderful day. We were able to see Jeremy's fam and my fam and it was so much fun to just enjoy the day. I hope you all were able to enjoy the fabulous day as well.
It's been a little over a week since I have started on my Vitamin D supplement (as it turns out I am deficient in the ol' D) and also started back on my multivitamin. I am feeling fine...no side effects that I have noticed so far, so that has to be a good thing...right? Work is still a challenge, which I am aware is what it should be, but I am talking busy, busy challenge. That's okay...makes the day go by quickly. I could really go for a break from the 6 days a week schedule. I have found that even though my hours have not increased so much per week, being at work 6 out of 7 days can be a bit overwhelming and I have had to reach into my bag of relaxation techniques to stay calm at times. It actually is a good thing because it helps me pay attention to my behavior and my reactions to stressful situations. I know that my first reaction to any uncomfortable or tense situation tends to be anger. It does not matter if I am unhappy, sad, scared etc...anger is my response. I am not sure why I use anger as my shield, but it most definitely comes out fast and furious (no pun intended). I have worked very hard to curb the anger response and actually find the real emotion that I am feeling, but it's a constant struggle and so these days I have been challenged and think that I am doing pretty well. By no means even close to perfect, but slowly working toward "inner peace"...ha, yeah right.
Hopefully, by taking a multi-vitamin, supplementing my vit. D and paying attention to my feelings and my outward behavior will help to slowly wean me down to a lower dose of my depression/anxiety med ... maybe even someday be off it altogether, though I have been told by my psychiatrist (scary) and a couple of general practitioners that it will most likely be a lifetime med (even more scary). Now to add in the exercise and I am hoping to feel even better!Feel free to kick me in the butt verbally to get out and be active...the weather can no longer be an excuse!
So what are you all going to be doing now that we can enjoy the weather?
Love you all and thanks for reading!

Aiii yi yi!!

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 02:53:00 +0000

WARNING: Angsty post ahead...read at your own risk

Well, here I am. Sitting, per usual, trying to think of what to write. A lot has gone on these past couple of weeks and I don't really know where to start. So this may be out of chronological order, but I promise to try and keep it followable.
The "life change", as I like to call it, is apparently on hold. I have been slacking on the water-drinking, healthy eating, sleep-getting, exercising agenda I had set up for myself. Now mind you, I have been able to keep any food binges at bay, but I know they may just be lurking in the shadows waiting to strike (as if they were a creepy man in a trench coat and a blue thong standing behind some trees with a bandolero across the chest...some will get that reference, others won't, please ask if you are interested, but it will illuminate just how weird I really am).
I gotta get with it! It is beautiful out and all I want to do after work is come home and nap.
Speaking of work, that is where a lot of my stress is seeming to be stemming from. It is the busy season in the vet field. This is when most people bring their pets in for the annual heartworm/tick disease panels and get set up with their heartworm preventative. Along with all the sickies we get it makes for a very, very busy time. Today, I literally ran and read about 6 fecal samples, 2 urine samples, a couple of blood panels, an ear smear, 6 heartworm tests, and a vaginal cytology (I had to put that in there for the shock factor...but I did run one) within an hour and 45 minutes. It may not seem like much, but it is, I promise (oh woe is me, I know).
   Losing a receptionist within the last week (an unexpected and sad development) may not seem like a big deal, but it really is. Especially when the receptionist is someone I really like. I really like all of my co-workers so it makes it tough when one of the team is gone. Combine that with working weird shifts and still being short-staffed, it being triple-booked busy and everyone just being exhausted/crabby in general it can be a bit of a challenge to keep up with my own health.
   I know that it is my responsibility to take care of myself, but I am tired and the last thing I want to do is figure out what may be best for me to eat, when I can just stop at the gas station on the way home and get some pre-packaged junk. The catch 22 of this situation is that I would be in a lot better spirits if I did focus on eating better and getting exercise...I just don't have the motivation to do it.
   To kind of point me in the right direction I am going to have blood drawn on Wednesday am to check my vitamin D levels, thyroid, triglycerides (hard to believe, but I have high cholesterol...shocking, I know) and hemoglobin (I get weird little blood marks over my body that my doctor is mildly concerned about even though I have had it all my life). Hopefully this will give me some idea on supplements I can take to help combat my tendency to slip into deeper funk.
   As many of you know (and maybe others don't) I deal with anxiety and depression. It's been diagnosed by more than 1 psychiatrist and my general practitioner so I know it isn't just the occasional blues. Combine these issues with stress at work and my difficulty in shutting the worry switch off, which my jaw just loves me for (clenchy mcgee here) and I have yet another obstacle to get over. Trust me, I am well aware that I am not the only one with stress and/or other issues. I just feel better and more empowered when I talk about them. Now I haven't put it out there like this for just anyone to read before, but already I feel better.
   If anything, this is just a reminder that only I can change me and my life and that letting out the negative will help the positive sneak in. I am wondering if I can find any more corntastic sentiments to fill this space up with? Now, to help round out this post I am going to post a few of the many positives that have occurred in the last few weeks (thanks for the idea Beks)

Sophie and the rest my family (both my and jeremy's fam)....I love them all and wouldn't be able to do this without their support...seriously (and of course, Sophie can make me smile even when I am feeling/acting like mega-bitch...or living up to my parent's nickname for me growing up "foul-mood megan")

Anne's wedding...she was beautiful and so happy and we all had so much fun celebrating with her and Garrett

My friends...much like my family, I know this blog wouldn't be happening (or continuing) without them...

I am not going to proofread this, just put it out there raw so sorry for the mistakes etc

Where to go from here?

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 03:01:00 +0000

Okay...i think the wagon just left without me. More than likely I overslept and missed it. Whatever the reason, the weight-loss wagon took off and I now I am running to catch up. Okay, maybe wheezing to catch up. This is so dumb, I was going at such a good clip and then something happened and blamm-O I'm sitting at an impasse. I know I want to lose this weight and become a healthier, happier me, so what is stopping me? Why do I continually do this? I am a self-saboteur and it has to stop. Not only that, writing this to you is really embarrassing. I should know better after trying this game over and over again. Now I have to admit it and am fearing that it means that I will allow myself to continue to fail.
So now what? Where do I go from here...? I know I can go and "get back up on that horse", but something needs to change or in a few weeks I will be back here again complaining and whining about how I couldn't keep it up.
HELP!

What what whaaaat?

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 03:46:00 +0000

TOTALLY CONFUSED! Happily confused, but confused. So I had a tough week last week. As in, I just wanted to eat crap (see last post). A lot of times when I want to eat crap and I am feeling strong, well then, I will just NOT EAT the crap. On the other hand, if I am not feeling strong, well then, I will just EAT the crap. It was the latter that occurred (imagine me hanging my head in shame). So knowing this and preparing myself for a gain on the scale this morning, just imagine the shock and awe when the scale showed a loss?! I got off the scale, let it recalibrate, and stepped on again. Yep, no error, I had lost weight. This is so weird. Granted, I did manage to stifle a full-on binge, so maybe that is what helped, but I have another theory....So, I am thinking, and I am a weirdo I know, that my body was telling me "Ok megs, I am going to give you a little shock. I am going to let you eat some junky food and still flush some fat so you have a loss, BUUUUUT, I am just going to do it one time. I want you to remember how good it feels to lose and not gain, but we can't make this a habit...mmm'kay? The crap-food-fest cannot continue, but it is okay to give yourself a treat and I will still keep on keeping on". That's what I think anyhooters. Granted, this is the same girl who used to think that there were small people with buckets in her bladder (though I didn't know that there was a "bladder" at the time) who would tip the buckets when they started to get full therefore causing me to pee. Yep, you read that right...I am a creep and I started young. Regardless I am going with the idea that my body is trying to work with me this time. Any happy surprises for anyone else out there from last week? Ang, I know you had a great time in Florida and of course, Alison, the arrival of those amazing boys!! Who else?? Come on, you know you wanna share. Especially after I just shared the bladder-men story.

BTW - just tried the new recipe fat-free greek yogurt from Yoplait and it is pretty dang good! (tried to post a pic, but it will only show up on the top of the blog and I cannot for the life of me get it to move...Bex any ideas?)

Changing it up!

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 03:39:00 +0000

Okay, so the winter "doldrums" have really set in. I get the faintest scent of warm weather, start to breathe deeply and then KAPOW! it's gone! I am SAD (as in seasonal affective disorder ..clever huh, or maybe just a bit lame). So when the blues hit this also means I eat...a lot..and junkily. I am pretty sure that junkily is not a word, but I said it out loud and it made me giggle so I am going with it.
Hey! Gummy bears, why don't you let me eat you, big bowl of ice cream get your cold, creamy goodness over here, McDonald's I would like some of you! (uh, yeah, I went to McD's and ate their delicious, if questionable, beef covered in cheese delights and followed them with deep-fried potato sticks). Yes, yes, I did just script out my conversations I have with food...
By describing the cheeseburgers and fries like that makes me feel a little less guilt about succumbing to the temptation and it allows me to admit that I did it. Okay, yes, I know that I shouldn't be depriving myself of cravings, but I know that I wasn't really craving McDonald's, it was just easy and would be cheap and would mean that I wouldn't have to get out of my car. THAT IS SO RIDICULOUS!! I could pretend that it was cold outside so drive-thru was the only way to go, but we all know that is just a huge load of bunk...aaaaand now I feel like a huge load.
So, knowing that I am excusing and rationalizing the drive-thru excursion I am trying to get back into gear by admitting my little (big) slip to more than just myself.
Another thing I did was change my blog design...sooooo springish! For a girl who loves winter and cold weather (helps keep the drenching sweat at bay) it doesn't mean that I am finding the a**-load of snow refreshing and wonderful. I am downright FED UP with it! So I'm thinking spring and getting back on track and maybe I will slash my tires so I the chances of making it through the drive-thru are greatly reduced :)
Thanks for reading dudes!

Ughh, i'm siiiiick

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 02:06:00 +0000

I'm sick! Not just a little cough and runny nose (which yes, I know, still means you're sick, buuuut...I mean nasty SICK) gross, stomach-gurgling, rancid burping, joint-aching sick.
Yes, I know it sounds like I am complaining, but really I am just telling it like it is. I feel like someone took one of those mallets a person uses to test their strength at the county fair and tested it on me....on my head, thereby compressing all my joints so it feels like I may have gotten about 6 inches shorter. Even my knuckles hurt, making this post a slow-going affair.
Why am I writing then you ask? Well, because when I am not feeling well, then any idea of trying to eat well goes right out the window. I just want to lay down and drink diet soda (the clear varieties of course) and when my stomach starts to feel up to it I want to devour carbs (such as saltines and toast). Now this doesn't sound so bad, but 5 saltines are worth 2 points. I don't stop at 5, I can finish off more than a couple of sleeves during the recovery period...equaling about 25-30 points (I am totally just shooting from the cuff with those calculations because I dread moving from this place on the couch trying to stretch out the joints). That sure doesn't make for a balanced meal at any time of the day and trying to get the body to adjust to real food takes a bit of work and who wants to do work?
So by writing this, it's giving me a reminder that in order to feel better I might want to think about what "sick" foods I eat and tweak it. Tthe experiment begins...just had some lettuce, carrots and a small amount of egg whites...we will see how that sits, but I already feel better because I know the proteins and veggies at least give me a little bit of a jumpstart. So maybe I am just talking myself into feeling better, but if eating a little better while I am sick actually helps me mentally feel better, then that has to be a good thing right?
Anyone have any good sick foods or feel-good, low-key activities?

Don't know what to say...

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 03:55:00 +0000

I'm embarrassed...I am having trouble keeping within my daily (and weekly) points this week. I am not exactly sure what my trigger is, but my willpower has gone right out the window and I am having trouble reeling myself back into a place of control.
Basically I need help...I reached out to a friend (thanks Anne) when I was feeling a big-time binge coming on and was able to curb it, but my portions have ballooned and I am eating so fast that I am not letting myself get full.
HELP!! Any words of advice out there? Or activities I can do that will keep my mind off food?
Right now I am going to go take a bath and focus on relaxing to get a good night's sleep.
Seriously though, I need help

I love dairy

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 01:47:00 +0000

I mean it. I LOVE cheese, ice cream, creamer, even milk! I could eat it 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and not have to eat anything else. Okay, yes, that was a bit dramatic and very much an exaggeration, but I think it got the point across that I thoroughly enjoy dairy products. My waistline, butt and back fat proves that dairy may not like me. My stomach and intestines...yeah, they have a bit of a love/hate relationship with it. Neither one of these issues really stops me from consuming mass amounts of it on a daily basis. Until now...I have cut back. My gastrointestinal system thanks me for sure. So to get in my daily dairy treats I have found some healthier options, as one who is trying to do WW successfully tends to have to do.
One of these options I just picked up on my last Cub run. Laughing Cow Chipotle & Queso Fresco light cheese wedges. Though any food that can spoil but does not need to be refrigerated makes me a bit weary I decided to try it out. I didn't like the swiss flavored wedges last time I tried it, but this sounded like a delicious option. I knew that eating a wedge of semi-soft cheese for a snack really wouldn't do it for me so I pick up some melba toast snacks (sesame) that are 1 point for 4 (or in my case 3pts for 8 rounds). I spread the equivalent of 1 LC wedge on the 8 rounds and the results....DELICIOUS! It even filled me up and for that I will be forever grateful! I am so going to try the other triangle varieties in the round box (I am put off by the word "wedge") and see what I can come up with......also, melba toasts snacks come in MANY different flavors so I can even do experimenting. I bore easily of the same food day after flipping day so this is right up my alley.

Any certain go to snack for you guys out there? Wanna share? Sarah you should post that recipe with the tomato spread on here. It looks really good!

Connected

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 05:10:00 +0000

Woot Woot! We have the internet again...for some that is a nice convenience...for me, a lifeline!
It has been an interesting week and few days. Jeremy and I have moved to Shakopee, my commute is 15 minutes shorter and I have christened the new, bigger kitchen with the first home-cooked meal.
I have also realized just how stressed I let myself get in situations. Moving day was made significantly easier with all of the wonderful help we had, but yet I still couldn't shake my feeling of things being out of my control and then I shut down a bit. I find that I cannot stand this aspect of my personality. If I can't run things at my pace and in my way (which is usually sloowwww) then I feel inadequate and can't quite get things together emotionally. It's weird and yet ANOTHER aspect of my life that I need to "work" on. THEN, Sunday, the people were gone and the apartment was slowly becoming a home (MUCHO thanks to Jeremy) I became sad. I cried in fact. I love being surrounded by friends and family, but at the same time I get overwhelmed...I would prefer to be surrounded by friends and family and be able to live in the moment and truly enjoy it for what it is, which is, good, good times. Nope, I have to future trip and worry about things that I have no control over and predict how everything is going to play out. Usually the situation never turns out the way I have figured it would ( that's a good thing because I tend toward the negative) and all the worrying was for naught.
So silly and completely unnecessary! So now I am trying to remember to take deep breaths, count to 10 and remember that if I live in the future I won't enjoy the present. Corny enough for ya? mmm corn...
Now I have had all of that on my mind and it feels good to get it out though it was a bit rambly. On a positive note, Jeremy and I have been doing really well with counting our points and remembering portion control (half-hearted yay for measuring cups). I made a WW-inspired Chicken Parmigiana (see recipe link below) last night and it was reasonably low in points and delicious. Granted Jeremy told me that he thought he might choke on the chicken. Why, you ask, was he worried about choking on the chicken? I was also wondering so ask him I did and his response ... "the chicken is really chewy, as in dry"... ummmmm...0kay... turns out I should have just left his first comment alone!
There were homemade brownies at work that I also managed to avoid. Avoided, even with all of my coworkers raving about how delicious they were and going back for seconds. That was tough, but now I feel proud that I was able to maintain my will-power for, count 'em, 8 hours! Aww yeah BABY! It probably helps that I walked past a reflective surface and got a good glimpse of my butt in scrubs: WIDE AND FLAT complete with saddle-baaaaags! That will put anyone off brownies for a few hours.
Now to get through the weekend while hanging on for dear life to that dang WW wagon...ugh
Thanks for reading! And Sarah, thanks for the smoothie recipes, complete with morbid names!

Delicious recipe for Chicken Parmigiana from WW recipes - made a couple of tweaks such as fresh tomatoes and onions to the sauce and using italian seasoned panko bread crumbs...I also bake the coated chicken in the oven and then add the sauce and cheese and bake a little longer...eliminates the need for any oil for the skillet. Also I just use two chicken breasts and cut the measurements accordingly.
http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/prt/recipe.aspx?Type=1&RecipeID=68311

Temporary hiatus...no internet hooked up...using jeremy's phone to type this...be back up soon hopefully

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 06:34:00 +0000

Tired, crabby and hungry...what a lovely combination

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 03:00:00 +0000

Crabby, crabby today. I know why, but I won't give too much detail other than it's, at the risk of being cliche, that time of the month. I get easily irked, can cry over the weirdest things and the worst part, when trying to make a healthy, lifestyle change...I feel the need to eat...EVERYTHING! I would love to run to cub and get a couple of pints of Hagen Daaz coffee or butter pecan ice cream, or maybe hit up byerly's for a sara lee coffee cake that I can house in one sitting. That is how scary my food issues have become (or how they really have always been). I know which stores regularly carry my binge foods and I know which ones do not ever carry them.
I will deny that urge. I know that it isn't conducive to success in the long run to deprive myself, but I also know that once I sit down with a bag of chips and some dip I cannot stop until both are gone...licked clean basically. Really embarrassing confession time: I will admit that I will pour bottom-of-the-bag chip crumbs into the dip container and use my fingers to finish off both...that felt both freeing and scary to admit. Scarier still, I have a ton more of those little food secrets....
I am still learning, still trying to get a concrete idea of what my triggers are and what times of day I am most vulnerable. Until I know for sure what gets me, I will not buy those favorites. I certainly still allow myself dessert, salty treats and filling meals, but I am working on moderation and finding healthier options of these foods. It is definitely a struggle for me, ESPECIALLY when I have the ol' period. So tonight, I will clean up the emotional debris of my pity party and get a good night's sleep. Good night all and thanks for reading!

Taking out the trash

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 04:02:00 +0000

Well, Day2 and I have decided to be proud of myself for posting two days in a row. I am currently taking a break from shredding the piles and piles of of paperwork that I have accumulated for over (get this)...9 years! I have bank statements, old receipts, pay stubs, car info from cars I haven't owned for over 8 years...etc. I have always known the I am not good at letting things go, emotionally or physically, but now I am facing the problem instead of ignoring it and it can only improve my situation.
This move to a new place is the first time I have really gone through my "past" and figured out what is worth saving and what is not, keeping in mind that I have moved over 7 times and finding it to be more than a bit pathetic. That $1 off coupon that expired in 2008 (I know, gross right?) is not a keeper. The pictures of family and friends I had stashed away -and subsequently forgotten about- just knowing that "I will sit down and frame/albumize (not a word, I know) these....someday", well those I am going to keep. Now I have the room to keep them organized (I can see the smirks on your faces right now).
Speaking of room....
Though I know that I won't be able to do this before the big move on Saturday, I am getting excited to start cleaning out my closet. By this I mean getting rid of all the "plus-size" garments, all those lovely articles festooned with multiple Xs, drapy and mostly black ... yeah I just CAN NOT WAIT to get rid of those. I would love to stuff those into the shredder along with that Kohls receipt from 2002 I just shoved in there, but alas, I am stuck with those Xs...for now! I am putting it out there that soon I will no longer allow those sizes to be a part of my wardrobe. I need to get rid of those security blankets...which sadly, they look a lot like blankets even though I meant that figuratively. Another way to stay accountable...
How do you stay accountable? Not just with eating, but with anything that is a struggle for you? I'm not alone right?

This time is the ticket...i gotta keep telling myself that

noreply@blogger.com (megs) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 04:50:00 +0000

Here goes...

So,ok, I am not much of a writer, but after seeing the article about blogging during the weight-loss journey and its benefits and then my friend Bekah's funny and inspiring blog, I decided to take the plunge.

I've been here before (not on this blog cause I just created it) and it's not fun. In fact I have lived a good portion of my life as an overweight girl. Not just overweight, but obese. There was a short time during my college years where I was in pretty good shape and could run over 3 miles at a good clip without stopping or even slowing and that was after I would get back from step aerobics. Hard to believe, trust me, I know. Now, even the thought of that makes my knees hurt and my chest contract. Not good, not good at all.

I have also dieted before...many, many times. I have had my successes, but unfortunately they are short-lived and then Dairy Queen, McDonald's and basically any fast-food, fat-ridden, calorie-rich food calls my name and I succumb to the temptation. Turns out my willpower only lasts so long and my rationalization skills for self-destruction are second to none.

So now I need a true change. I just got married to the love of my life, am moving into a nicer apartment and want to be able to walk down a hall (any hall, large or small...ooh rhyme time!) and not get winded and sweaty. BTW I don't just get dewy, I get all out running-down-my-back-while-starting-to-chafe sweaty and that is only good when working out, which is also something I rarely do.

Jeremy and I are doing this together. I have already found I am more willing to stick to healthier changes when he is too. I mean, c'mon, watching him easily polish off a package of Golden Oreos while I eat a carrot (with a good dollop of ranch which totally defeats the purpose) doesn't make things easy, because I like Golden Oreos too :) . He has had his struggles and I don't know if it is because I am the old hand at Weight Watchers, but it helps me to stay on track when helping him to stay on track as well. He is also probably the only one who can really tell it like it is when I am trying to rationalize a binge. It is not easy for him to do because I do have a temper, but he does it and for that I owe him big...BIG!

So if you want to follow me on this journey please, please do. Like Bekah (see http://gettin-skinny-b.blogspot.com) I want this to be a community. Please share your triumphs, struggles, advice, workout and recipe ideas, or if you need a place to vent or discuss ANYTHING I would love that too! I mean, do you have some good beauty or style advice...or maybe you just went to a movie you want to talk about please feel free to use this blog as a platform. I know I can not do this alone (even though Jeremy is my rock, he's not with me all the time). I know I need a community because I have "dieted" before and you have all seen where I am now, so I am hoping you will all come along!