1 – According to Laney’s book, introverts are people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine, so too much external stimulation overdoses and exhausts them.  So, TRUE!! No, I am not anti-social – it’s just that a bunch of crowds, people, yackity-yack conversations make me need a nap – STAT!  I am NOT shy, rude or have “nothing to say”.  Trust me, I have A LOT to say, but introverts cannot, and I mean CAN NOT stand small talk. We need something meaningful or valuable to say/hear, in which case, you can’t shut us up. This is why I tend to feel or look socially awkward at parties.   I do not talk just for the sake of talking. Ain’t happnin!  So I will sit there saying nothing.  Yeah, Its pretty creepy.  LOL!

2 – We need to “process” things.  We are natural processors, which is why many of us don’t do well in interviews where they ask you a bunch of questions and you have to respond RIGHT NOW.  We need time to reflect and process.  Extroverts struggle with this aspect of us – becoming irritated when we are slow to respond.  This also poses a challenge in dealing with confrontation and arguments.  We take information in, but by the time we “process it”, it’s over and done and now we are left with all the things we could have and would have said.  The alternative is to bring it up days later, after the extrovert (who has said all they need to say at the time) has long forgotten about it.  This drives them NUTS!!!

3 – Where extroverts process out loud, we don’t.  I find myself getting irritated with extroverts who drone on and on incessantly and I’m left trying to figure out, and filter through ALL that they just said in order to act on, or understand what they intend or want.  We are silent until we are clear, ready and intentional about what we want to express.  This can take an hour, a day or a week, but TRUST me we will eventually speak it out.  We just WAIT until we can say something with impact, rather than just blurt it out.

4 – We do better with FEWER DEEPER relationships.  I’m talking like 2-3 close people MAX.  Once you have earned our respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.  But here is the key… we are “inner world” people.  If my “inner world” is harmonious when we are together, YOU CAN NOT get rid of me!  But, if there is always some kind of discord, consistent drama, misunderstandings or I find myself consistently processing about our relationship, it is really only a matter of time before I disappear.  Can’t do it.  It wreaks too much havoc on my inner world which is of UTMOST importance to an introvert.

5 – We DO like to go out, but just NOT as long.  Introverts would rather avoid long periods of time engaging in public activities.  Why?  We are sensory folks that absorb the experience very quickly and deeply, we get it and then are ready to go home, recharge and download.  Did I mention we process everything?  Too long or too much over stimulation – Not good for the introvert!

6 – So, how do we relax and unplug?  We typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places.  While my extrovert sister relaxes at home with company, enjoying a great conversation, over great home prepared meal, I will always choose silent time either alone, with ONE close friend or with my honey.  We often end up in counseling-type roles as we make good listeners, simply because we are okay being quiet and don’t have to interject our thoughts or opinions into everything.

So there you have it folks.  We are not shy, aloof, weird, socially-awkward or rude.  In fact, many of us are engaged in “high profile” or “very public” professions.  We speak to the public, but we recharge AWAY from the public.  Be patient with us, give us time to “think” and process information and experiences.  If you have a workshop, make sure to include time for introverts to write down their thoughts or schedule breaks for reflection.  We NEED REFLECTION to maximize our experience.

WE ARE the few, the proud, the introverted!

In love & light!

The crux of the conversation was about “owning your voice”.  It’s amazing how so many of us, especially we introverts, walk away from a conversation or confrontation and don’t respond in the moment and then “bam” it hits us hours, days or maybe weeks later and “THEN” we want to talk about it.  We toss and turn, we lose sleep and struggle with what we “should have said or done” and begin to fill up with anger about the things that we didn’t say.   The cost of silencing ourselves is A LOT higher than we’d ever imagine.

Fall in love with your own voice.

“Once you start to speak,

people will yell at you.

They will interrupt you,

put you down,

suggest it’s personal and

the world won’t end.

And the speaking will get easier and easier.

And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had.

And you will lose friends and lovers and realize you won’t even miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you.

And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party.

And at last, you’ll know with surpassing certainty that one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth.

And that is not speaking.”

~ Audre Lorde

There is FREEDOM is saying what there is to say… IN THE MOMENT – RIGHT NOW – EVEN IF YOU ARE AFRAID!

In love & light!

Most people have baggage because they don’t take time to heal.

Newsflash: When people don’t heal, they’re still in HELL. Then they try to give you advice… spewing THEIR HELL at you in the name of support and yes, even love! Is it their fault? No. Most people don’t even know they are in hell.  Some do and try to bring you into theirs.  The kinder souls will KNOW they are in hell and disappear from your life in order to spare you from it.

In my case, I needed to SHUT ALL THE HELL UP and opt for Silence… Long silence. Much needed silence. Painful silence. Reflective silence. Wilderness-type silence. Then…

I noticed a change.

My sister said, “Eat this.”
One friend said, “Laugh at this.”
Another friend said, “Stand on this.”
Still others said, “Believe in this.”
Finally God said, “Give me this”.
I said, “ok”.

Allow yourself HOWEVER long you need to heal. You are NO GOOD to your children, your family, your partner, but MOST OF ALL – YOURSELF – until you go in, go deep – shut the HELL up (or down) and HEAL!

PS – What most people don’t realize is that long AFTER they have stopped hurting about the other person, they continue to hurt about (and cleanse) the woman who created, participated and stayed in a miserable situation. A lot of the pain is internal guilt, regret, remorse for the WOMAN that was LOST in the process, not the loss of the other person.  So don’t let people judge you or your process.  You are doing your good work, in your time and in your way!

In love & light!

Depression is that place we go to when we know we have gone as FAR as we can – without making some great change. A DRASTIC change. Depression is a call to GOD that says, “I can’t move ONE MORE INCH without you. I can’t get out of bed – I can’t do this anymore the way I’ve been doing it. It’s a call that says, “I’m READY to listen now”. And NOW that you are open, willing, ready and vulnerable, GOD can do a mighty work in your life! GET READY!

I salute you depression. You force us to go to those deep dark places that 90% of the world refuses to go – instead they just acquire more, consume more and push through without dealing with the truth of the matter – that they are living a lie. Yeah, I said it – my belief is that most of us are living a lie and those who get depressed are those who REALIZE the lie and have an inner knowing that they can’t move on…like this.

These are the folks who are tired of lying – putting on brave (fake) faces, while living in prisons, (the prison of loveless relationships that look good on paper, the prison of an overweight/sickly body, the prison of loneliness, the prison of fear, the prison of poverty, the prison of the past, the prison of addictions, etc…)

Yeah, all lies – especially considering, you are BOTH the warden AND the prisoner.

I say depression is not the worst thing. I believe that the worst thing is living in comfortable pain. This is when the pain is tolerable enough for you to live with it, but hurts bad enough that you can’t fully experience your life. Like if your leg is BROKEN you MUST fix it, but if it’s sprained, you’ll limp through your days endlessly. So many folks, are just limping around turning themselves OFF to their truth and going through the motions of life – Not happy (not sustainably anyway) and not sad (numbness). They have long stopped dreaming and have just accepted, “this” as their life.

I believe that when people commit suicide, it’s not because they don’t want to live, it’s because they don’t want to live “like THIS”. They just can’t see that THIS can change instantly. So the choices are: 1) Accept THIS as your life and make the best of it by pacifying yourself with more stuff, sex, drugs, career etc. 2) Check out altogether, or 3) WAKE UP, stand up, get prayed up and be willing to trust the plan and process of God and do what you came here to do.

THIS WILL CHANGE – IT ALWAYS DOES

In love & light!

Three things I LOVE about Mr. Charles Ramsey:

1) He is (according to news sources) a dishwasher. Now, I’ve never been a dishwasher professionally, (some would argue personally) but he can’t be earning THAT much that would have him so “easily” say, “Give the reward money to the victims”. He didn’t seem to give much thought to it. This, to me, speaks to this guy’s character. (Despite his history with domestic violence) Which leads me to my next observation…

2) He kicked the door in to save this woman from (what he thought was) a domestic violence disturbance. Speaking as someone who just last week, found herself downtown Seattle, at 9pm at night, brandishing a boulder and yelling like a mad woman at (and fully prepared to beat the HELL out of) a man who was beating a woman, I can tell you, it’s SO much easier to WALK AWAY. In this day and age, “silence is part of the violence”. People do crap all the time, BANKING on the fact that people won’t get involved and/or snitch. Ramsey did what most of us will never do – “The Golden Rule”. He did what he would want someone to do for him – better yet, he did what he was supposed to do.

3) We laugh at this guy and auto-tune him, but he, again in my opinion, is a REAL and LOVABLE guy. I would love to have a conversation and just get a take on his world view. But more importantly he called out the “reality” of our world. “When a pretty little white girl runs into a black man’s arms… something is wrong”. We laugh because the truth in it is inescapable. It’s undeniable and its sad. That statement is not a “midwest” or “deep south” or “east coast” only sentiment. Even here in the “liberal” Northwest, this statement is in fact, a reality for many of us. While my heart chooses to believe that things are getting better, we are still very much separate as human (not-so) kind.

I can only hope that Mr. Ramsey serves as an example that within him (and within all of us) lies the BEST and WORST of humanity. You can be a black man with a domestic violence wrap sheet as long as your arm, and yet be THE ONE that God calls to rescue, “The pretty little white girl” from the very thing that you’ve spent jail time for.

A big THANK YOU to Mr. Ramsey for answering the/her/his call. And may God do a mighty work in helping these women find “some” kind of normalcy or ministry through their suffering!

I searched for love and found fools. I searched for me and found love.

I searched for a way to transform my body and I found diets. I searched for me and found a healthy, plant-based, high vibration lifestyle because that is the only thing that truly gave my body the fuel, energy, clarity and power I needed to transform my body AND spirit.

I searched for my path and found wakeUPgirl, I searched for me and became AWAKE.

Here is my point – As Morpheus says in the movie, The Matrix, “The Matrix has you”.

We are so disconnected from divine source/GOD that the idea of you being complete, whole and perfect is as insane as you being able to turn water into wine – even though the church claims to believe the bible and Jesus, who told us, “You, TOO, can do all these things and more”.

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE – the feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting beliefs, values or emotional reactions.

• Belief: I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me
• Action: Worrying about bills
Or
• Belief: I want to be happy and FREE
• Action: Staying in an abusive and/or otherwise unhealthy situation

My belief is that we suffer mostly because of cognitive dissonance. What we SHOULD do vs. what we ARE doing is where the hurt often comes in. I realize the worst periods in my life were during times when I was in a relationship that I KNEW I should leave. Or at a job that I KNEW was making me literally sick and tired. I think that many going through weight challenges aren’t suffering so much because of the weight itself, but because they feel so powerless against it, they do nothing about it.

Here is my point, the choice is yours. If the choice is yours, the power is yours.

Step #1: Stop comparing yourself to others. If we lived in a world where EVERYONE followed their heart, you’d have no problem acting on your spiritual leads, but since that’s not the case and you don’t want to look selfish or crazy, you stay in miserable conditions. Amazing how easy it is for us to FEAR ourselves right into a prison, where we are both the prisoner and the warden.

Step #2: BE HONEST about those areas in which you are lying to yourself. Look, if you KNOW that you are unhappy, and you KNOW you have no intention of doing anything about it, at least say boldly, “I am choosing this pain for now. It is what it is, and when I am ready to move on, I will”. But just don’t ACT like you are a victim.

Just for today, put down the book, the journal and GET OUT THERE! No amount of reading, thinking, hoping, and praying is going to get it done – alone. At some point, you MUST take a chance, take the risk, BELIEVE in this “God” who supposedly gives us the gifts, talents, strength to do ALL THINGS, and go get your STUFF!

In love & light!

Last week, my sister came over so we could hang out.  As her friend pulled up and my sister said her goodbyes, I walked up to the car to greet the friend and her barely two year old daughter.  I leaned in the back window and greeted her daughter and said, “Hello” in my “aren’t you THE MOST adorable thing ever” voice.  (Which she truly is)  THE FIRST thing the little girl did was pull up her pants leg and said, “My oweee”.  Not “Hi”, not “My name is”, but “Look at my hurt”.

Her mom chimed in and said, “Oh we scratched our leg yesterday”.

My sister then said, “I’ve been with this girl all morning and she never said anything about an oweee.  Dang Michelle, you always have people telling you about their oweees”.  This is SO true!  LOL!

I told her Mom, “We learn at an early age to celebrate our wounds, don’t we?”

We all laughed, but it got me to thinking, “Why do we commiserate about our wounds?”  Why do we have to outdo each other with our laundry list of aches, pains and challenges as opposed to simple joy and peace?  How did THAT become our badge of honor?

If someone asks you, “How is your day?” and you respond “Amazing”.  People are often startled, or will ask if you’ve won the lotto or there is something special going on”.  Happiness for the sake of happiness is just “weird”.  My question is “Why?”

Carolyn Myss calls it WOUNDOLOGY!   Woundology is about using the wounds — the hurts, the traumas, the unfortunate events — in order for the wounded person to manipulate others, elicit sympathy or compassion, to gain a measure of power and/or authority, and/or to claim allowance for their disagreeable actions.

Have you ever witnessed people who MUST, absolutely MUST talk about a situation that happened 20 YEARS ago? Or, they have a current medical condition and makes sure that EVERYONE knows about it?  Our wounds are like Linus in Charlie Brown and his blanket of comfort.  Some people don’t know WHO they are if they are not FIGHTING something – If they are not overcoming something.   They find their value in being a fighter of this disease or THAT challenge.

They keep diseases locked in place so that they are the center of attention.  My aunt has health challenges and refuses to get better.  Even when she began to see a nutritionist who transformed her whole condition through food, (like literally overnight, her condition of 8 hard years all but disappeared)  she reverted back to Pot Tarts, soda pop, fried foods, chips, cookies and other junk that sent her back to the hospital.

Sometimes, people are just unwilling to accept the responsibilities that come with health.  Accountability, follow through, expectations?  “No thanks, I may be in great pain, but no one expects anything of me.”  My aunt can walk in a room where everyone is laughing and having fun and literally shift the energy of the room to somber and uncomfortable – now that’s power.  It has an EXTREMELY high cost, but nonetheless, it’s power.  She can snap at people and treat them any old kinda way and then say, “I was just feeling so bad that day”.  Woundology while often subconscious, can be STRATEGIC in nature.

In the meantime, all of these wounds keep you disengaged and disconnected from the power source within.  It keeps you from your destiny.  It’s a distraction that gets you off the hook from being your BEST you.  NOW, this is NOT to say that people who are moving through HEALTH CHALLENGES are bad people.  But the key is MOVING THROUGH!

Carolyn Myss goes into GREAT detail about WOUNDOLOGY AND WHY WE DON’T HEAL!

In love & light!

As part of our mission, wakeUPgirl is proud to present its new line of Affirmation Apparel, “The Reflections Collection” – A stylish, high-end t-shirt line that features a positive affirmation that is typed backwards in order to reflects correctly when the young lady looks in the mirror.  The intention is for a girl to be reminded that she is “beautiful” or “powerful” or to “believe” in herself every time she looks in the mirror;  encouraging a healthy self-perception.

The Reflections Collection bases its value proposition on the following three strengths:

• Quality – Each shirt design is “hand crafted” by a local artist who creates each design with originality and detail.  The shirts are higher quality, therefor more durable and softer to the touch.
• Inspiration – Based on feedback from the girls, along with Michelle Majors 20+ years of experience working with young women in leadership development, Michelle has a personal intention to inspire young women and foster a sense of pride and worthiness for every young woman who wears her line.
• Philanthropy – We put our money where our heart is.  We can’t change the world by ourselves. Therefore we give 10% of t-shirt sales to create scholarships and grants for girls who demonstrate exemplary leadership in their schools and communities.

Visit our online store at www.ReflectionsCollection.com

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