Walden's Wits

Haitian Orphans Come Home to Colorado

2010-01-24T23:47:00.000-07:00

They're home! They're home! They're home!

Wants And Needs

2010-01-17T15:12:00.000-07:00

If we had all we wanted, we wouldn't have what we really needed. God always gives us what we need, not always what we want.

If God Knows Everything, Why Pray?

2010-01-11T21:11:00.000-07:00

My wife was feeling very poorly. A pinched nerve had developed into a condition where any movement was very painful. We called up a friend who is gifted in healing and asked if he could come over. He said "Oh, that's why the Spirit was telling me to make dinner for you guys!"

That evening, we sat together over pork chops and yellow rice. The kids had finished early and were playing downstairs, the boys trying out their Nerf swords on each other. As can happen, play fighting turned to real fighting when the blows got too hard or they were taken too personally, and the sword play broke off into other things. That night, as I was tucking my son into bed, his emotions still hadn't really cooled. I walked him through the steps of forgiving the persons in absentia. As I did, I told him that God wanted to hear what had happened and what he felt and why.

"But God already knows these things, Dad. Why should I tell him what he already knows?" he asked.

"Because He wants relationship with you," I told him.

"I don't get it."

"Well, why else would we ask God to heal me? He knows I need healing. He knows I want to be healed. But He wants me to come to Him and ask Him." It's the situations we can't handle that drive us to connect with Him, and that's what He wants. He wants to hear how our day was, even though he was there for every millisecond. He loves us and went to the trouble of creating mankind just to risk you saying "yes!" to Him. He wants that daily connection, even hourly connection with your heart. What moves us, moves His heart too. Eventually, it will be that what moves His heart will move us as well. That's relationship. That's love. That's the Kingdom.

Letters from the Field: Obamavilles And The Fruits Of Repentance

2010-01-06T15:24:00.001-07:00

Dear Friends,

How are you? How was your Christmas? Mine was incredible! A family stepped forward and offered to help with our Christmas gifts this year, buying nearly everything we wanted and everything we needed. They are a family that dearly wants to hear God's voice in their lives and it excites me to see it.

Have you heard about Obamaville?

The name of the town reminds me of a classic Jimmy Buffet tune, a favorite of my cousin's. This is a real sign of America's Second Great Depression. Iconic pictures of the 1930s tent cities, in some cases called "Hoovervilles," dot the news. Like the early years of the last depression, economic measures designed to slow or even reverse the decline may not be all that helpful and in some cases may actually hurt the economy.

I am no expert, but having a blog means having a point of view. My great friend, Andrew, shares similar circumstances as my own, unable to work because of his physical condition. He told me on New Year's Eve what I had instinctively known and remembered from high school economics. The numerous bailouts the government has engaged in is against the fundamental rule of capitalism. If AIG, et. al, truly failed financially, the government should have let it fail and go into bankruptcy. That's the reason for bankruptcy courts. Procedures exist for failures like that, procedures that might have better served the American people. Instead, the executives are bailed out by the one entity that should have put them in court to defend their actions. This is corruption, plain and simple.

In times like these, it is not enough for us to simply pray that God help the needy and suffering. Nor is it enough to fast, to humble ourselves before God and expect Him to hear us. It requires a fundamental heart change. It requires individual and corporate repentance. It requires what God lays out in Isaiah 58.

Isaiah 58:1-8

(the Message paraphrase)

Tell my people what's wrong with their lives,
   face my family Jacob with their sins!
They're busy, busy, busy at worship,
   and love studying all about me.
To all appearances they're a nation of right-living people—
   law-abiding, God-honoring.
They ask me, 'What's the right thing to do?'
   and love having me on their side.
But they also complain,
   'Why do we fast and you don't look our way?
   Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice?'

"Well, here's why:
"The bottom line on your 'fast days' is profit.
You drive your employees much too hard.
You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight.
You fast, but you swing a mean fist.
The kind of fasting you do
   won't get your prayers off the ground.
Do you think this is the kind of fast day I'm after:
   a day to show off humility?
To put on a pious long face
   and parade around solemnly in black?
Do you call that fasting,
   a fast day that I, God, would like?

"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:

to break the chains of injustice,

get rid of exploitation in the workplace,

free the oppressed,

cancel debts.

What I'm interested in seeing you do is:

sharing your food with the hungry,

inviting the homeless poor into your homes,

putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,

being available to your own families.

Do this and the lights will turn on,
   and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'

If you want to see a change you can believe in, if you want to see God answer prayers, don't just fast and hope that He blesses you. Don't just hunger after God. Model your heart and actions after Him! Engage those around you and work to ease their suffering. If you see injustice, work to end it! If you see your employees hard pressed, stop work until they catch their breath. God does not saddle you with a heavy burden, does he? He does not bicker and fight with you, does he? Can you honestly say you follow Him when you live in ignorance of His most fundamental motives? We may claim to love the Lord God with all our passion and prayer and intelligence and energy, but until we love others as well as we love ourselves, we cannot honestly claim the title Christian, literally "Christ follower."

This is heavy stuff, but God does not pull any punches when we've missed something this elementary. Christians in business cannot place profit above and beyond the humanity and charity God commands from us all. As Marley lamented in A Christmas Carol, "Business! Mankind [should have been] my businesss!" Indeed, Scrooge himself walked in repentance by placing a very human interest in his employee Bob Cratchit and his family. The complaints that socialism and fascism brought against capitalism were very similar to the complaints that the three spirits of Christmas brought to Scrooge, that men in capitalism only enrich themselves by exploiting the working poor. The very reason America was successful in the first place was that men lived by the morality of their faith, putting into practice the charity and kindness that their faith professed. Alexis DeToqueville, in Democracy in America, put it this way,

Despotism may govern without faith, but liberty cannot. How is it possible that society should escape destruction if the moral tie is not strengthened in proportion as the political tie is relaxed? And what can be done with a people who are their own masters if they are not submissive to the Deity?

If we profess freedom, and we do, then we must live by God's morality. Instead of seeking what we can get out of our employees, our "human resources," should we not treat them as good or better than ourselves? This change must start in our hearts, work into our minds, and out through our hands. Obamaville may be a ghost town in years to come, but only if we get the message.

A brother from a different mother,

Steve

Benched

2009-12-18T01:36:00.001-07:00

I have not had too many "up" days recently. A lot have been spent laid out in bed, searching for some way to lay my body that didn't cause pain. I don't have an explanation. I can't readily point to something and say, "I overdid it and I shouldn't do that." It's just been one long string of ow. Ow, this hurts. Ow, that hurts. It wouldn't be so bad if the fatigue wasn't the super-industrial quality that gives me 30-120 minutes before it knocks me out again. It's just one more day in the life of Fibromyalgia. On the up-side, I found a good page that really spells out to folks what FM is like, thanks to Adrienne Dellwo of About.com.

The most frustrating part is knowing that I missed a day of my kids lives with nothing but a dented mattress to show for it. They only have 120 more before their birthdays (all in April), and they're changing every day. I feel like because I can't keep my head from the pillow, I'm failing them as a father. This isn't reality, of course. I have no choice in the matter. It's just the way my emotions get the better of me when I miss time with them. I can certainly relate to those who are imprisoned, those who can't beat their addictions, and those like me who struggle with a debilitating illness. You see life passing by and it hurts to know that you're not a part of it every day.

Yet, I have to believe that God will give me the ability to be there for my kids when it matters. I need God to give me the strength and stamina to be a father and pastor to my family. I need Him, period. He will supply all my needs. His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness. He's given me everything I need for life and godliness. My hope will not disappoint, my faith is steadfast and firm, not because I am powerful, but because He is all-powerful in me, my weak and tattered body. He will deliver me from this body of death through Jesus Christ, our Lord! I cling to this, even in the darkest of times.

Take comfort in Him. He will meet your every need.

Dealing With An Angry Heart

2009-11-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

As a father and a Christian, I have a unique opportunity to help my children tap into one of their greatest assets: their relationship with the Holy Spirit. Jesus said that He would send us the Holy Spirit who would guide us into all truth. The Spirit is a counselor, a companion and a direct link to God’s heart for us.

Tonight, my eldest was having one of her battles against her horrible tension headaches. She literally feels like the muscles are going to break her skull. After I assured her that wasn’t going to happen, I asked her if she had been talking to God about her worries. She said it seemed He wasn’t listening. When I dug deeper, it came to light that she didn’t want to say to God some things that she was feeling about Him.

One obstruction to a life free in Christ, living by His Spirit, is refusing to be honest with God about ourselves. We may feel like we aren’t worthy of His attentions. We may feel angry at, hurt by, or even abused by Him. Failing to bring these things front and center in our prayers with God is being dishonest with Him. We may feel like He doesn’t want to hear why we’re angry or that He will strike us down with an even worse affliction if we “complain.” Beloved, if your heart cannot bear the wound, don’t you think your Creator wants to help, to heal you and comfort you? Doesn’t He already know your heart and what you feel? Refusing to bring these things out and deal with them in His presence is preposterous and ignorant of the One Who loves us.

God really wants us to be honest about our feelings with Him. He’s a big God, and he can take the vitriol and fire of an angry heart. The dissolution of pretense is the solution. Being honestly angry with God is something we all need to be at some point. It’s a natural outflow of human hearts saved by Love while still living in a fallen world of sin.

When we’re honest and forthright with our anger and frustrations, God will do one of two things with your heart. He will either help you understand the nature of the problem and lead you in the direction that will be most in line with His will for you, or He will comfort you and cry with you, giving you the grace and solace that only God can give. They call it the peace that transcends understanding. It may not be what you want, but it is definitely what you need, and God’s heart always gives you what you need.

So if you’re driving down the same ugly road, your fuel is low, and the lights on your dash just couldn’t get any redder, pull over. He’ll be coming along and you can let Him help. There’s one condition. Only you can pop the hood and let Him look you over. There’s no anger or condemnation in His eyes. You’re His child and you always will be. But you need to let Him be the one to guide you out of the bad part of town you’re in and learn how to let Him maintain your heart. He’s an excellent mechanic, and I trust him with my life, and more importantly, my children.

Incommunicado In Colorado

2009-11-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

I suppose some explanation is in order for why I haven’t been writing nearly as much as I used to. It relates to my disability. I have arthritis in my spine between my neck and mid-back. The pain is usually located between my shoulder blades and below. For me to have to hunch over a keyboard for more than a few moments brings on spasms that no pain killer or muscle relaxant can touch, at least not without affecting my thinking patterns. In other words, if I want to type, I must either endure extreme pain or wander about the corridors of my mind aimlessly, Neither of which sound very appealing.

I have been dictating, as I am right now, but this is a new challenge because the mental process that I use to speak is noticeably different than the mental process that I use to type. It’s an odd situation, because I use both to produce written words, yet the end product from one process is noticeably different from the other. I don’t speak like I type, and because I type better than I speak, it has been a slow process of retraining my mind.

Additionally, Windows Speech Recognition doesn’t take kindly to partial phrases and afterthoughts. If I use shorter strings of words, speech recognition has less context that it can use to make sense of what I say. Therefore, I have to put together complete sentences a lot of the time. This isn’t how people around me normally speak, least of all someone like me. What’s worse, my sense of concentration drops quite a bit when I’m speaking. I don’t know what it may be called, but my lack of concentration when I'm trying to communicate is frustrating!

Unless I get some sort of adaptive equipment that allows me to type pain-free, I am going to have to continue this retraining of my mind. It feels a bit like learning a second language. Eventually, I will get better… At least I hope so. I’m going to continue to write, regardless, because writing allows me to express myself and speak what’s on my heart. Hopefully, the labor to express myself will get easier. Knows? Maybe this computer will eventually understand what I have to say and how I say it.

The other source of delay is my sporadic network connection. Wireless is so wonderful when you have it! Until I do, I have to blog offline and wait until I can connect to upload. Forgive me, but this may cause some "blog bursts" of two to five entries at once. Still, as always, I hope you enjoy it.

Never Abandoned In The Floodlands

2009-11-09T15:16:00.001-07:00

In a former life that I now dimly remember, I occasionally got free music as a sales associate for The Ark Bookstore in Denver. Normally, the samples were of new, relatively unknown groups that their label was trying to push. There was the rare exception, however, and those were moments that made the low wages and long hours almost worth it. Chief among those moments was when our Sparrow representative stopped by with a pre-release copy of Steve Taylor's 1993 album, Squint. It was the last—so far—studio album that Taylor would release, capping a decade-long career in the Christian music industry. Most folks don't know who Steve Taylor is. However, most Christians have likely heard the Newsboys' song, Shine, which Steve produced and wrote the lyrics to. In fact, Steve's partnership with the Newsboys is what most credit them for their success.

Steve's music has had a huge impact on my life. Songs like Hero, Meltdown, On The Fritz and so many others fed my spirit when I faced religious hypocrisy and pretentious spirituality at a young age where I needed truth and solidarity. Truth confronts, but it also comforts. One of the best examples is in the song, "Curses," where the chorus (echoing Psalm 37:25) repeats,

Never have I seen the righteous forsaken
Never abandoned in the floodlands
Never have I seen their children out begging
Never have I seen them slip through your hands

This simple refrain would echo in my mind every time I faced worries about making mortgage or buying groceries. It remains a reminder that not only is God faithful, but that I am not the first of his children to encounter financial difficulty.

There is something else about the chorus. In this modern,"lower-middle class" lifestyle, I tend to forget the meaning of floodlands. Today, modern civilization has flood control. Rivers that used to rage and ravage towns and cities are now harnessed and regulated by dams and reservoirs. The floodlands were areas that were normally dry but prone to extensive inundation. As a result, no one who could afford to build would build in such an area. They tended to be vast areas with thick undergrowth crisscrossed by a myriad of foot trails. The only inhabitants were the poorest of the poor, vagrants living a nomadic lifestyle and eating hand-to-mouth. If a river were to flood, they would be among the first victims, sometimes the only victims. Being abandoned in the floodlands would never be by choice. It would be the last stop before dying.

God is always mindful of our situation. He never lets us slip through His hands. We make mistakes, but He never does. Also, notice what it doesn't say. It doesn't say that we would never see the floodlands, or walk through them. He may have us pass through the floodlands for any number of reasons, not the least of which would be to reach out to those are also in desperate need. Yet here is the one thing that brings me such comfort: we will never be abandoned! We have a God who carries us through the fiercest storms and the highest waves. Most importantly, when it's all over, we get to go home with Him. That's worth any trek we might face here on earth.

Just in case one thinks I'm blowing smoke, I'll offer a subjective proof, one of many small miracles God has done for me and my family. Two weeks ago, my mind turned to Christmas. It dawned on me that we might not make mortgage, let alone have the ability to purchase gifts this year for my children. Rather than fret, I told God about it and asked Him to please provide Christmas gifts for my kids. Later that week, I got a call from our church saying that a family wanted to bless a family in need with Christmas presents and asked if I would be interested. "Are you kidding? I was just praying about that this week!" I told them. Needless to say, everyone was blessed at how God worked the whole thing. He usually isn't so blatant and obvious. God uses subtle and practical ways for us most of the time. But once in awhile he offers us unmistakable signs that He's there. With God, we are never abandoned.

There Goes the Sesame Street Neighborhood

2009-11-06T12:04:00.000-07:00

My wife came up and told me that Sesame Street had done another spoof. This time it was a skit called "Desperate Horse-wives." I got a groan when I asked if the characters were less than neigh-borly.

In all seriousness, I'm not that thrilled with how the folks at Sesame Street parody network TV shows. While I am sure that the creators mean simple and innocent fun with their skits, I believe it also sends the message that the shows they represent are normal and acceptable in normal households. I'm not sure how normal we are, but Desperate Housewives is a show that we do not let in our house. My children know that when Extreme Makeover Home Edition is over and they hear, "Previously on Desperate Housewives..." power to the television is to be immediately terminated. It's almost comical how they scramble to turn it off, as if they were diving on a live grenade.

While it may not be a grenade, many TV shows are painfully difficult for us to watch these days. Some of the shows are so corrosive, I wonder how anyone can possibly watch them. Consequently, some nights we simply don't turn on the television set. Instead, we will read a good book or play a game together, if we don't split up to do separate things. We avoid the shows not because we like feeling superior or cerebral, but because we've found that these shows actively interfere with our hearts and minds.

^8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. (Philippians 4:8, The Message)

I can't come out with a list of TV shows that I think are bad or good. The verse above should be more than enough for the average Christian, especially when it's paired with the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Each person is responsible only to God for decisions like these. However, Jesus did give us a special charge with children.

"And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck. Mark 9:42 (NIV)

To me this verse means that God takes the destruction of children's innocence very seriously. This is why the Sesame Street skits irritate me. It feels like they're playing with fire. Look smart all you want, but I would prefer if they would just stick with "C is for cookie," and the yip-yip monsters.

What? You've never heard of the yip-yip monsters?

Yip Yip

| MySpace Video Thanks Jodi!

An Afternoon With My Daughter

2009-11-05T19:34:00.017-07:00

I spent this afternoon with my 6 year-old daughter. Instead of my thinking of what I couldn't do with her, we read, watched movies, and hung out. We even played three serious rounds of hangman. She brought out her plastic menagerie, a plastic tote stuffed to the rim with 50 or 60 plastic animals of every exotic origin.

She holds up a wildebeest. “This,” she says with all the certainty of a sunrise, “is a cantalope.”

It doesn’t matter what else is going on in the world that day. We spent the afternoon blissfully unaware of everything but each other’s company. I think God craves that time with me sometimes. Then again, perhaps he’s simply watching me with the interested eye of a bemused parent as I say, with all the certainty of a sunrise, “I have it all under control.”

My daughter Shiloh makes my heart laugh. She makes me very happy with just how she smiles. I could go for days, weeks, months, or even years without seeing the sun shine, but not one day without seeing her smiling face. I’m a very blessed father to have her. There’s no one else in the world that I would want in her place.

Since Elections Are So Close To Halloween, Here's Something Scary

2009-10-30T02:30:00.001-06:00

I strongly suspect that those who would spend 30 minutes decrying Federal corruption and bureaucracy wouldn't spend 30 seconds on Google looking up who's on their local school board. If there was ever a weak point in democracy, this is it.

Thanks, Mike Rosen, for your thought-provoking commentary.

Burning Questions

2009-10-20T14:34:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine asked me what I thought of this. I thought, I hope they don't try to cook the chicken over all the glue, cardboard, simulated leather, and the myriad of chemicals likely to be in the books they're collecting.

Seriously, these folks have lost the point. If it were simply a matter of their faith being unable to accept anything but the KJV Bible, I wouldn't say anything because that's their issue that they need to work out with God. Something else is the matter.

They can burn all the books in the world except for their precious KJV and still never come to this critical realization: The problem is not in the books out there in the world; the problem is in our hearts. It's easier to burn someone's books than it is to examine our own thoughts and actions. It is true that they burned books and paraphernalia back in Biblical times, specifically Acts 19. Nonetheless, it was an outward demonstration of what had already happened in their hearts. Specifically, it was to make a clean break with the past lives they'd lived, burning the bridge behind them that lead back to the old ways. They knew that, if things got rough, their hearts might lead them back into the sorcery and divination they had been practicing. They could have sold all of their junk and received the equivalent of $35,000. That money went up in smoke because they didn't want to pass on the practices that they had abandoned.

This church's book burning is a case where the practice out-lives the meaning. It serves no real purpose, except to state their reading preferences and belief in the King James-only doctrine. Given that that statement could be made any number of ways, having a book burning is a foolish choice. It gives the appearance that small-town, North Carolina residents are intellectually backward. It plays to the stereotype that small-town southerners are narrow-minded, hyper-religious zealots. It invites comparison to the Nazis and other evil regimes, both real and imagined, that used book burning in their quest for an ideological purity. It is, in my mind, the worst thing they could possibly do to demonstrate their faith. This is exactly what the enemy would want them to do.

So what are we to do for people who operate like this? Should we correct them? Should we disown them? Neither; in fact we should pray for them, that the Holy Spirit would correct them, that he would stop them from continuing this practice. I pray that they come to a better understanding of God's love, and, in turn, move to a better expression of his love for others.

Life With FM Can Have Its Ups and Downs

2009-10-18T22:50:00.002-06:00

I just had the first day up since my last post. I wish I was kidding. Fibromyalgia often means that I can't get enough sleep. I couldn't stay awake for more than an hour, maybe two, from Wednesday afternoon until this morning, with the exception of Friday evening. It's so frustrating to know that life is going on but not be able to participate!

Contrast that with today, when, thanks to the efforts of some friends, I was able to maneuver my power chair next to my workbench and actually work my way through the years of accumulated junk! Moving my chair along the bench, I steered clear of pain and frustration. I felt like I could do what I needed to do myself. In the end, it relieved me so much just to spend three hours working on an eyesore that I have seen every time I go through the garage. It's going to take a lot more work, but I'm going to get through it. I know, because I have the support and the help of friends and family.

This Post Will Make You Hungry

2009-10-14T15:57:00.004-06:00

One of the wonderful things about the blogosphere is that, once in a while, you happen upon a blogger who you really resonate with. For me, the blog “Lisanotes” has been hitting all the right chords with me. Recently, she had a book review that I found unexpectedly useful.

The problem has been months—no, years!—in the making. My 10 year old son has had more than his share of difficulty in understanding his sisters. Disagreements and frustrations over daily occurrences, like my 13 year-old daughter’s use of the computer, have boiled into huge conflicts. Lisa’s review of a book titled, Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, which I had skimmed over, came to my mind. After reading the review, I sat down with my son and explained the concept to him. I will let my son take it from here.

If I were a food I’d be a Waffle. I’d be a Waffle because it describes how a male’s brain works and processes things. A Waffle has squares in it (as always), so does a males brain (supposedly). Each box represents a thing that a male is doing or thinking about at one time. Males think differently than females. They focus on one thing at one time. Females don’t think or do one thing at one time, they think or do it all at once. Therefore, females are like spaghetti because their minds keep on thinking about everything at once. They keep on following the spaghetti line through all the sauce and other noodles. Then they run out of noodle, and then their minds jump to another noodle that leads them to another, and another, and another, and another and another and so on and so forth. That is how I think that the male and female minds work, and that is why, if I were a food, I would want to be a Waffle.

(p.s. My Dad explained this to me, which really helped understand my mom and my sisters.)

Like a lot of boys, my son understands word pictures. Until this moment, it was really hard for him to understand the differences God has built into women. Now, instead of him wishing that girls were more like boys, which is something every 10 year old boy seems to struggle with, he allows his sisters the freedom to be who they are. The difference inside our house is night and day! I can hardly believe what a difference it has made. Instead of berating his little sister for leaving a mess somewhere, he reminds her that she should help clean up. His humor, his bright smile, his very soul seems sweeter and more mature. I have the feeling that I just did my future daughter-in-law—whoever she may be—a huge favor.

I told you this post will make you hungry. Let's go to IHOP and talk it over.

Fibromyalgia Patients Have Significant Neurological Symptoms

2009-10-12T16:13:00.000-06:00

I have long known, even before I was diagnosed, that Fibromyalgia Syndrome is not all in my head. The media has announced that yet another study confirms this. It's interesting to me that the poor balance, motor problems and tingling sensations so strongly and clearly showed up in this survey.

Every day, I have tingling and weakness somewhere, usually in my legs. It's scary when I go to take a step and my legs don't respond. I feel like a tree being felled because my balance already shifts but my feet remain planted. Once I yelled, "Timber!" right before I caught myself! I haven't fallen very far in a couple of years, thankfully. When I'm that bad, I can use my power chair to handle the difficulties and keep me safe. I used to stay in bed to limit my fall risk. That's no way to live!

I pray that God gives humanity new wisdom in the next few years on this chronic illness. Neurology is only now getting the fact that Fibromyalgia is real. They need all the help they can get!

Eden Will Bloom

2009-10-07T18:12:00.004-06:00

I am proud to say that I know this lady. The video really grabs hold about halfway through.

If you want to hear more of Tamra Hayden's music, visit her ReverbNation site for a full preview of her album, A Day At the Fair.

Love And Grace In the Face Of Life And Death

2009-09-30T12:24:00.001-06:00

I have held off on writing this post for a couple of days, mostly because I needed time to reflect and process the raw emotions of it all. Like a lot of guys, I don't handle emotions well. I keep the lid tightly screwed down and only let off steam in a controlled way when I know it's safe, just like a pressure relief valve. This works for being a dad, usually, unless there's too much pressure, and then it's either vent or explode. I know others can identify with this. The problem for me, however, is that chronic pain and the natural stresses of being disabled (economic, physical, and psychological) have my boiler at an already high pressure. Sometimes, people feel they have to tip-toe around me, and I am so ashamed of this.

I am disclosing this very real struggle simply because this weekend, I met a family who has been through so much more than I have in the last 15 years and yet remain bound to each other by the love and grace of God.

Many in the homeschooling community know of Chris Klicka and his work with the Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HSLDA). Until recently, few have known about his battle with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Since the MS has progressed and robbed him of even the more basic functions of life, he came to a national homeschool conference to be with the leaders one last time. Last Friday, he became so ill that they hospitalized him. My wife and I were able to meet with the family on Sunday, mostly to pray with and encourage them.

It was then that God used one of the classic tactics in his toolbox. We went there to minister and bless, only to find ourselves being ministered to and blessed. I'm sure we did help, but we were witness to such love and grace that we found ourselves humbled and almost embarrassed. One of their friends said to us, "You are at ground zero. So many prayers from around the world are focused here." It was clearly evident. What could have been a time of great sorrow and frustration was instead a time of patience and prayer. Sure, there was uncertainty looking at the future, especially where Chris's future was concerned, but there was no doubt that whether he stayed or went, he would be blessed. Paul wrote the church in Phillipi with the same dilemma, saying,

If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.

The understanding is that Chris wants to leave this body and be with Christ. The only thing keeping him here is the will of God, which is tied to the needs of the believers here. Whatever God wants to work here while Chris remains, whether it is calling people to prayer or bringing some unseen fruit out of this situation, the Klicka family is submitted to it. They pray over him, read scripture to him, love on him as much as they can, but they know that God will call him home when He says it is time. So much love, submitted to God's authority was incredible and humbling! Could we face the same situation with as much love and grace? Only by God's power and strength.

While we traveled there for one purpose, it's becoming clear to me that we were there partly so that Chris' family could impact us, which in turn means that Chris himself survived a close call on Saturday night because we needed to witness God working through his family on Sunday. I do not know the future, but I know that such love submitted under God's will can only reap a bigger and better harvest in the coming days and weeks.

If you want to follow Chris Klicka's condition and his family, you can visit his Caring Bridge journal. Please continue to pray for the grace and peace to flow through and around this family!

Training Parrots Or Educating Minds

2009-09-23T11:05:00.000-06:00

This article, which was part of an HSLDA e-mail, makes a great case for educating children by helping them think on their own rather than training them to spit up answers to questions on command. We need students to think logically and consistently. Indoctrinating them with a conservative mindset without getting them to think through the reasons supporting both perspectives can cripple them when they assume their adult roles.

When my kids ask me what a specific person believes, I am under the obligation to tell them why that person probably believes what they do. For example, why is Barrack Hussein Obama pro-abortion rather than pro-life? How do we know that he believes that? What does this say about his values of human life? What implications does this have toward the current issue of medical care? Would Obama favor abortion on demand or possibly euthanasia? Taking them forward in these steps is more than asking questions and getting them to answer? It is patterning their minds to take the next logical steps. It applies as much to what they watch on TV as well as it does to understanding politics. Do the people on this show exhibit honor and value towards each other? Do we want to emulate them? What reasons do we have to watch it?

Walking through life asking such questions will change what you do, but it will also shape minds to live by the light of reason, and not just follow their appetites, which leads to sin. On the other hand, walking with reason leads to wise choices, which leads to life, full of happiness and hope. I owe at least that much to my children.

Pain Awareness Month

2009-09-08T10:47:00.000-06:00

September is Pain Awareness Month. What does that mean? Do we all have to stub our toes or hold hot rocks in our hands or something? Nah. Pain Awareness Month is aimed at helping people understand that chronic pain exists and that if you or someone you love suffers from chronic pain, there is help out there that can reduce the pain or even remove it.

God Of The Morning

2009-09-06T13:48:00.000-06:00

I can get caught up in my own world of symptoms, side effects and economic factors. I sometimes forget that there are those with a similar vision and mission that have it much worse than me. I am grateful that God has not taken more from me. Yet Chris and I have one very important comfort. We have God to turn to in the weak times. When we wake up and feel more tired than when we went to bed, we have Him to renew us and speak words of comfort and strength. When the pain is constant and overwhelming, we have Someone Who suffered much pain to bring us to Him. He knows us, our situations, our discomfort and our hopes. He has promised to be with us always. He is near to us. He gives us each morning what we need. His eye is on us, even in the night watches. His hand protects us, even when we feel vulnerable. And when we are done, He will renew us with bodies that never see corruption. This hope will not disappoint us.

God, please bring strength Chris Klicka and his entire family during this time. Heal him, God. We know You are able to do this. Regenerate his body and make him whole so that he can bring You glory. Comfort him. Help him to see what You are doing and how You are using his situation. Be his peace during this time.

Tinkering Under the Hood of my Blog, Part 2

2009-09-02T14:07:00.000-06:00

One other effort I've been working on is consolidating my other blog about Disability into my personal blog, WaldensWits. If you subscribe to my feed, you may get barraged with the results, or--I hope--you may just see this post. Anyway, I have stopped posting that separate blog because the title, "Disablogger" was a negative title, as if I was all about the loss of ability. I'm not. I am so much more than my disability!I consolidated the ones I deemed worthwhile and filed them under Living With A Disability and other applicable labels.

So, if you are besieged by posts, I'm sorry. I only expect it this one time. Keep reading, and I'll keep writing.

Tinkering Under the Hood of my Blog

2009-09-02T03:19:00.000-06:00

Hey there, folks! Just me doing a little housekeeping at 2 in the morning. I'm doing some blog maintenance. For example, if you need to translate my page, have altavista do it for you if you want to read badly mangled English with no subtext and metaphor. I won't have it as a link on my page, however.

Recommended resources went away as no one buys books they see on blogs, at least not my readers. I'm also shaving down my labels to a small fraction of what I used to have. If you want to find something I don't hightlight there, use the search blank at the top! Yes, Google searches my Wits! To that end, I've revamped the labels into something more consistent with what I write about.

And now, I hope I can go to sleeeeep.

In the Moment

2009-08-23T18:57:00.004-06:00

This evening, my 6 year-old daughter had finished her dinner, and, as we watched a video I was watching, I gave her a piece of Hershey's Special Dark chocolate. It's a treat that I like to give on occasion. She began nibbling on the chocolate, enjoying it. I had another piece and I set it down in front of her.

"Is that for me?" she asked.

"For when you're done with the first one, yes." I replied.

Immediately, the first piece disappeared into her mouth as she picked up the second, which she began nibbling as she had the first one. Soon that one was gone too. I wiped the chocolate away from her cheek as we continued watching the video. On the screen, a person in the video was suddenly healed and their appearance changed back to wholeness.

"Someday, I hope God heals me like that," I said.

"Me too," she said. "Sometimes I wish you didn't have to have Fibro-my-algia." Both of our sets of eyes got misty at her words. Fibromyalgia is such a big word for a 6 year-old.

"But there is a good thing," I said. "Because I'm home more, we're poorer, but I also get to see more of you. I get to watch you grow up." We hugged, and like I've done so often, I thanked God for her.

I think I understand why God doesn't show us very much of our future. If he did, it would be like laying down more chocolate in front of us. We wouldn't savor what we had in our hands. So often, we look to the future (or the past) and we don't savor the moment of now. We envision the next bar of chocolate or remember the last. Being in the moment, savoring each one, is what I want to do.

However, in order for me to do that, I have to quit thinking about the future (or the past). I have to trust God to take care of tomorrow and yesterday, the next hour, the next moment, so that I can release them and free my arms to embrace the moment. This is not easy for the schemer or the survivor to do, but it's something that the children of God do naturally. The schemer looks at the future, the survivor lookes at the past. The child of God is living in the moment, worshiping their Creator, loving those around them, and delighting in the goodness with which God blesses us.

I have been through much with this illness. I also hope that God heals me soon. But savoring the moment is what I was made to do.

The 86th Percentile - What Does It Mean?

2009-08-13T11:40:00.005-06:00

As a follow-up to my last post, here are the latest figures for standardized performance.

I think it's important to understand what those statistics mean. First, the 50th percentile is always average. It's the peak of the "bell curve," the result of the total of all scores divided by the number of tests taken. If a person's score places in the 51st percentile, it is slightly better than average. Likewise, if the score places in the 49th percentile, it is slightly worse than average. It does not mean that all of the students scored 50%. The 86th percentile means that if you took one homeschooled student's test score at random and compared it with a sample from public schools, the homeschooled test score likely would be better than 86% of the other students.

All it means is that homeschooling students typically perform better than public schooled students when it comes to standardized academic achievement tests. It should weigh into anyone's decision on educating their child, but it cannot and should not be the sole factor in choosing homeschooling. Education should be prepare a child for their future, and unless their future is taking standardized tests with No.2 pencils, this decision takes a little more thought.

Why I Believe Homeschooling Is The Best Way To Educate Our Children

2009-08-08T18:32:00.002-06:00

The smell of newly sharpened pencils is starting to appeal to me again. Wal-mart and Target have been pushing Back-To-School for a few weeks now. I guess it's a good time to remind myself and everyone else in the process of why we homeschool. Here is my uncensored, no-bones-about-it view of homeschooling!

I've come to understand homeschooling as a natural extension of parenting. Teaching my son how to count to ten and how to write his name has developed into multiplication and teaching him to type.There's never been a time where I've stopped being his parent. Handing him off to a school--any school--would feel to me like I was abandoning him, leaving it to someone else to raise him for 8 hours of the day. I'd sooner cut off one of my limbs than see that happen. I love my son and I know he loves me with all the love a 10 year-old can have for his dad. I'd never want to see that closeness wane under a time-share agreement with a teacher who has 40 other kids to worry about.

And teachers, God bless them, are amazing! I know quite a few and how hard they work. Most of us are oblivious to how much work they put in to educate children. One friend regularly worked 60 - 70 hours a week, coming home late after dinner, staying up grading papers and then going to work early the next day. There are some like that who take their work so seriously, and then there are some that don't. Unfortunately, not all school systems are able to weed the bad ones out. Some school systems barely function at all, but it's not that they're underfunded. School systems, tied down by the teachers unions, are to blame for the sorry state of American public education. It is time to increase competition, free up parents to have true school choice, and let the free market system work to better children's education across the board. After all, the most damning evidence against the school systems is that these uppity homeschoolers keep on producing these national academic champions without the help of Federal tax dollars.

This was about homeschooling, not what’s wrong with public schools, so… moving on. What really sold me on homeschooling was when I met a 14 year-old homeschooled student named Jake. He looked me in the eye, shook my hand, and related to me like a man, a human being and not the alien life form that public- and private-schooled teens typically take adults to be. He was balanced, respectful, and someone I wouldn’t have minded considering as a son-in-law if the ages of my daughters were more in line. He had a great sense of humor, intelligence and he was already skilled in a profession. You don’t get that from most schools! What’s amazing is that I’ve found that kids like this aren’t all that exceptional in homeschooling circles. They’re downright common! Boy, where do I sign up?

Now, there are homeschooling mistakes and horror stories out there, and usually they start with, “we tried homeschooling but…” Experienced homeschoolers know that there is no single, one-size-fits-most approach. It isn’t even a one-size-fits-one-family, sometimes. The homeschooling failures that I have run across usually have tried a “school-at-home” option with a charter school that requires a specific curriculum and teacher oversight of the parent. In fact, some families even try re-creating a school room at home, complete with flags and chalkboard/whiteboard in the belief that the schoolroom is the only approach. This usually ends with the child frustrated at learning and the parents ready to pull their hair out. It doesn’t have to be that way.

For me, homeschooling has come to symbolize my children as individuals with their own individual learning styles and traits. One child learns by reading, another by exploring and doing, and still another learns by stories and discussion. These methods can be blended to expand and grow our children’s minds.

Homeschooling also goes beyond the three Rs of reading, writing and arithmetic. For example, this morning, our six year old began organizing her marker collection on her own initiative. She saw chaos interfering with her ability to create, and she said in her six year-old voice, “I just need to get organized!” Then, by emulating what she learned from her mother—she certainly didn’t learn it from me!—she began to take steps to bring order to her life. That’s a life skill she can use her entire life, and that is homeschooling, even on a Sunday.

Finally, homeschooling has changed our lifestyle. We are much more integrated as a family as a direct result of our time together. If we have committed to activities, we go together and support each other. If we go on field trips, we learn together. I don’t know how many times we’ve learned something in an experience homeschooling and then called on that experience while confronting a new challenge together. This lifestyle really stands out when I compare it with the alternative. We aren’t spending weeknights pouring over homework, grinding away at a curriculum that a teacher assigned to us. We spend time together as a family or we do other things we enjoy. Neither do we spend time instructing our kids on how to placate schoolyard bullies or how to negotiate the surreal social cliques that seem to exist only in schools. Homeschooling is easier and produces greater rewards, especially when you take these factors into consideration.

Is homeschooling life nothing but roses without thorns? No, there are challenging times too, like this year when we found that a math curriculum wasn’t working for our oldest. Yet, we weren’t locked to that curriculum for the rest of the year as we would have been in a traditional school. Truly, there are moments where we get tired of books. But there again, we have the freedom to take a break and go on vacation for a bit. Even in its shortcomings, homeschooling offers the flexibility that we need to enjoy life together as a family.

My wife and I would never dream of dropping them off at school and trusting others to do our job. Educating our children is a God-given responsibility of the parents. The Bible commands parents,

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. (Deut 6:6-8 NIV)

We cannot give our children the instruction God commands by putting them in a secular school. We cannot afford a private school that claims to give children a Christian education, and why would we want to? Even if money were the last thing on our minds, homeschooling would still be my first pick.

I couldn’t have picked a better way to raise my family than to educate them at home. We are daily living an adventure and a journey together. We have life together that we could never have by separating for 8 – 10 hours a day. Homeschooling has made our lives richer and God has rewarded us for taking his commands to heart. It's why I believe homeschooling is the best way to educate our children.