Waleed Khan

LUMS professor among ‘World’s Top Young Innovators’

2011-08-24T05:35:00.000-07:00

LUMS professor among ‘World’s Top Young Innovators’

By WALEED KHAN

https://www.facebook.com/engineerwaleedkhan

Published: August 23, 2011

Dr Umar Saif has been recognised for his innovative technology in the developing world. PHOTO: MIT

LAHORE: Dr Umar Saif, a Professor at Lahore University of Management Sciences (Lums) has just become the first Pakistani to be recognised as one of the top 35 innovators of the world. The MIT Technology Review has named him as one of their 35 ‘World’s Top Young Innovators for the year 2011’.

No surprise, given his background; Saif started out at Aitchison, went on to Lums, did his Doctorate at Cambridge and ended up doing his Post doctorate at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT).

The MIT Technology Review (TR35) recognizes the world’s top 35 young innovators that are radically transforming technology as we know and this is the first time in the past decade that a Pakistani has been recognised.

Saif says that he couldn’t have done it without Lums. While talking toThe Express Tribune, he said, “It would have been difficult at other universities. There are certain things that Lums has gotten right. The faculty is empowered and hiring and promotion is all done based on how research active you are.”

“I am tenured at Lums and I cannot be fired. The rest of the universities in Pakistan have more of a teaching focus. Lums lets me do only two to three courses a year. This gives me ample time to do my research.” Saif now joins an elite group of researchers and technologists including the likes of Google’s Seregy Brin and Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg.

While talking about one of his projects, SMSall.pk ; he excitedly explained that it was like Twitter and that it was fanning out at an exponential rate in Pakistan. “Political parties, media channels; everyone is signing up for it,” he exclaimed. SMSall.pk is Pakistan’s largest SMS social network and has sent close to 4 billion SMS for users in Pakistan.

Technologies developed by Saif’s research group and startups are used by millions of people in the developing world. Other notable technology is BitMate , which enhances the speed of Internet in the developing world using peer-to-peer technology.

The MIT Technology Review selects the top innovators after a rigorous evaluation process. Judges, who are leading experts in their fields from universities such as MIT, Stanford and Harvard, consider hundreds of high-impact researchers and entrepreneurs from all over the world, out of which top 35 are chosen for the award.

When asked about the innovation process. Saif explained that he had a startup incubator called the Saif Centre of Innovation. “It deals with new projects the same way as Silicon Valley,” said Saif. People, mostly students come to me when they want to do a startup. “We keep discussing the idea till it is viable. Then we put together a team, distribute equity – I am always a minority stakeholder. Then I give the startup money to get it off the ground.” Saif says that the reason these projects are successful is because he gets the kids to run these companies. And they work 18 hours a day to get their ideas to work.

Saif is working on some incredibly innovative start ups right now. One uses mobile phone cameras to allow illiterate people to understand English. People can take pictures of English text – newspaper clippings, labels, anything – from any cell phone, MMS it to a number and they will get a call back that that reads out the text to them in Urdu.

Best of all, Pakistan need not fear losing Saif to any other country. Because he has no plans to move his home base out of Pakistan. Even though he spends some time visiting other universities to get some work done, Saif says that he is in Pakistan to stay permanently.

Published in The Express Tribune, August 24^th, 2011.

A cowboy named 'Bud'

2011-07-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

A cowboy named 'Bud' was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, then looks back at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my yearlings," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my yearling?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you ever guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. You see Mr. Congressman, this is a herd of sheep... now give me back my dog."

-Thanks to Michael Kimsey for relating this politically charged but geeky humor.

Mind-boggling “Cricket World Records” by Pakistan

2011-06-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

Pakistan Cricket has suffered major “lows” in last 5 years due to their notorious acts. Pakistan is like a vagabond who irritates the street with his loud and notorious acts but, once he is gone, a part of you always miss him!

Pakistan has truly been a soul of this game. In every aspect of Cricket there are Pakistanis who keep the blood running in heart of Cricket. There are some astonishing and mind-boggling world records held by Pakistan. Some of those overwhelming records are:

1. Highest win/loss ratio in Home Tests

Pakistan’s home venues have become no-go zone for international teams due to security reasons but surprisingly Pakistan has the best home record in Test Cricket. Pakistan’s Win/Loss Ratio of 2.54 is the best among all nations. Pakistan has played 151 Tests at home; 56 won, 22 lost and 73 drawn, that gives ratio of 2.54 to Pakistan. Australia with 2.26 is second whereas Sri Lanka with 1.86 is third.

Shoaib Akhtar, who holds the record for fastest delivery ever bowled in Cricket, is ecstatic after taking wicket against South Africa

2. Fastest delivery bowled in International Cricket

In ICC World Cup 2003 match between Pakistan and England at Newlands (Cape Town), Shoaib Akhtar became the first bowler to cross the barrier of 100 mphs, his delivery to Nick Knight clocked 100.4 mph/ 161.9 kmph, making it fastest delivery bowled in International Cricket. Previously Shoaib Akhtar was claimed to bowl 100 mph by Cybernet’s speed gun in a match against New Zealand in Pakistan but ICC didn’t approve it.

Go Pigeon get it, Its a SIX! The power of an Afridi

3. Most “Sixes” in ODIs and International Cricket

“367” is the number of Sixes Shahid Afridi has hit in international cricket (including Tests, ODIs and T20 Int.), the most number of sixes by any batsman in International Cricket. In ODIs alone, he has hit 289Sixes which is another world record.

He was stunning with numbers and was in his prime form in 2006; a year yielded 1788 runs and 9 centuries

4. Most runs by batsman in a calendar year of Test Cricket

In 2006, Mohammad Yousuf scored 1788 runs in 11 Tests at average of 99.33. He broke the previous record of 1710 runs in 11 Tests by Viv Richards. Yousuf’s innings were against India, Sri Lanka, England and West Indies. He was in sublime form throughout the year even on hostile batting wickets of England, he scored in bulk; 631 runs in 4 Tests including a double-century and 2 centuries. During course of 1788, Yousuf also scored 665 runs in a 3 Test series against West Indies –most runs by Pakistan batsman in 3 Test series – and he hit 5 centuries in consecutive matches.

5. Nine centuries in a calendar year of Test Cricket

2006 didn’t end for Yousuf by giving him most runs in a year but it also ended up giving him 9 centuries; another world record. At end of the year, in series against West Indies, Yousuf hit 4 centuries in 3 Matches which made his tally to 9 centuries in a year. Arvinda de Silva, Ricky Ponting, Viv Richards and Sachin Tendulkar have hit 7 centuries in a calendar year.

The Boom Boom goes areal! No one, in 15 years, has matched his world record

6. Fastest century in ODI Cricket

15 years to date, the auspicious record is still possessed by Shahid Afridi, or should I say Boom Boom Afridi. On 4th October (1996), Shahid Afridi – playing his first ODI innings – annihilated the Sri Lankan bowling attack by scoring century of 37 balls with help of 11 Sixes and 7 Fours. In 15 years, no one has threatened to break this record. The record for 4th fastest (45 balls against India in Kanpur 2006) and 7th fastest (53 balls against Bangladesh in Dambulla 2010) centuries is also held by Shahid Afridi, 3 out of top 10 fastest centuries belong to Shahid Afridi.

Wasim Akram was Captain's dream, fans' delight; the finest left-arm bowler Cricket has ever seen

7. Four International Hat-tricks

Wasim Akram leads the way with FOUR international hat-tricks; two in ODIs and two in Tests, most hat-tricks by any bowler in world. Akram’s two Test hat-tricks came in consecutive Tests against Sri Lanka which is also kind of a record however a bowler named James Mathews has taken two hat-tricks in one Test match. Wasim Akram was also the first Pakistani to take hat-trick in Test Cricket.

8. A Hat-trick in Test Cricket as well as ODI Cricket

Wasim Akram and Mohammad Sami are only two cricketers who have taken hat-trick in ODIs as well as in Tests. Mohammad Sami, surprisingly, has hat-trick against Sri Lanka in Tests and against West Indies in ODIs. There isn’t any bowler in World who has taken a hat-trick in all three formats of the game however Brett Lee, the Australian fast bowler, has taken a hat-trick in ODIs and Twenty20 Int.

Waqar Younis on his day - with banana-swing - was a bomb waiting to blast!

8. Most five-wicket hauls in ODI Cricket

Waqar Younis has taken 13 five-wicket hauls in 262 ODIs; a record of most-wicket hauls by any bowler in ODIs, not only this, he also has record for taking most 4+ wickets in ODIs; 27 times he has taken 4+ wickets in ODI Cricket.

9. Fastest to reach 100, 150, 200 and 250 ODI wickets

All the tallies belong to one man. Perhaps the best spinner ODI Cricket has ever seen. Saqlain Mushtaq, the off-spinner of Pakistan, has record for being the fastest to reach 100, 150, 200 and 250 ODI wickets. He also has two hat-tricks in ODIs; joint record with Wasim Akram, Chaminda Vass and Lasith Malinga.

10. Most wickets in a calendar year of ODIs

In 1996, Saqlain Mushtaq took 65 wickets in 33 ODIs which was record at that time. A year later, in 1997, he bettered his record with 69 wickets in 36 ODIs. To date, Saqlain’s tally of 69 wickets in a year remains the world record for most wickets in a calendar year of ODI Cricket.

The master and the pupil in tandem; Wasim taught Shoaib how to draw first blood!

11. Most ODI Wickets on a single ground

Wasim Akram has taken 122 wickets in 77 Matches at Sharjah, that’s record for most wickets by a bowler on a single venue. Second comes another Pakistani with Waqar Younis taking 114 wickets in 61 matches also at Sharjah. None other than “ The Ws” has taken 100 or more wickets on a single venue in ODI Cricket.

My eyes become wet when I see this picture. Trust me! He is world-beater of the game

12. Most “Sixes” by batsman in an innings of a Test

Wasim Akram, in course to his famous 257* against Zimbabwe in Sheikhupura 1996, hit 12 Sixes. Surprisingly its a World Record effort. He broke the record of Wally Hammod’s 10 sixes of an innings in 1933. Later Nathan Astle (in 2002) and Mathew Hayden (in 2003) hit 11 sixes of their innings against England and Zimbabwe respectively.

13. 400 Test Wickets and a Double-century

Wasim Akram, to date, is only Cricketer to have taken 400 wickets and to score a double-century in his Test career. He grabbed 414 Tests wickets and scored double-century, 257*, against Zimbabwe. Akram is also one of few cricketers –Abdul Razzak and James Franklyn are others which I can recall – to have scored a century and taken a hat-trick in Tests. Akram’s two Test hat-tricks and a double-century also give him an unique all-rounder record.

14. Seven players of batting line-up’s top-order scoring 50+ in a Test innings

In Pakistan’s famous Test victory against India in Karachi 2006, seven Pakistan batsman scored 50+ runs in second innings. In first innings Pakistan were bowled out on 245 but in second innings Pakistan scored 599-7 (declared) with all 7 batsmen who were out scoring 50+ runs. Salmam Butt (53), Imran Farhat (57), Younis Khan (77), Mohammad Yousuf (97), Faisal Iqbal (139), Shahid Afridi (60) and Abdul Razzak (90) were part of this record.

Javed Miandad was the anchor always prepared for a storm; most consistent match-winner of his era

15. Nine consecutive fifties in ODI Cricket

Between March and October of 1987, Javed Miandad scored 9 fifties in consecutive ODIs. Javed’s innings were 78 , 78*, 74*, 60, 52*, 113, 71*, 68 and 103. He is the only batsman to go that far as second best is 6 consecutive fifties by Gordon Greenidge.

Asif had a brain of real craftsman; who could beat you anywhere in any format of the game. He made the ball to talk in every way possible

16. First maiden in Twenty20 Internationals

Mohammad Asif, Pakistan fast bowler, has distinction of bowling the first ever maiden-over in history of Twenty20 Internationals. On 28th August 2006, Asif bowled maiden over against England in Bristol and also took 2 wickets in that over. Astonishingly, it was also Pakistan’s first ever appearance in Twenty20 Internationals.

Umar Gul; they call him slave of rhythm and king of yorkers

17. Best bowling figures in Twenty20 Internationals

Umar Gul’s 5-wicket haul against New Zealand in ICC World T20 2009 stands as finest spell bowled in Twenty20 Internationals. He took 5 wickets for 6 runs in his 3 overs, these are best figures by a bowler in Twenty20 Internationals.

18. Best bowling figures in Twenty20 Cricket

In first edition of Indian Premier League in 2008, Pakistan left-arm fast bowler Sohail Tanvir took 6 wickets for 14 runs in a match against Chennai Super Kings while playing for Rajhastan Royals. To date, 4-0-14-6 remains the best bowling figure by any bowler in Twenty20 Cricket.

Stupendous Afridi is a thunderbolt in go!

19. Most Wickets in Twenty20 Internationals

Star Pakistan all-rounder Shahid Afridi leads the way with 53 wickets in 43 T20 Internationals, most wickets, so far, by any bowler in Twenty20 Internationals. He is also the first, and last so far, to take 50 wickets. Second and third are also Pakistanis, Umar Gul (47 wickets in 34 matches) is second whereas Saeed Ajmal (43 wickets in 30 matches) is third.

20. Youngest to take 5-wicket haul and most consecutive 5-wicket hauls in ODIs

Waqar Younis also holds the record for being youngest bowler to take 5 wickets in an ODI. In 1990, at age of 18 years and 164 days, Waqar took 6 wickets for 26 runs in a match against Sri Lanka at Sharjah. Second youngest is also a Pakistani as Wasim Akram, at age of 18 years and 266 days, took 5 wickets for 21 runs against Australia in Melbourne 1995.

In 1990, Waqar Younis also took three consecutive 5-wicket hauls in ODIs. None other than Waqar has taken 5-wicket hauls for three consecutive times. Waqar also took 7 wickets for 36 runs against England at Leeds in 2001, that remains the best bowling figure, in ODIs, by captain.

21. Highest partnerships for first and second wicket in First Class Cricket

Waheed Mirza and Mansoor Akhtar hold the record for highest opening partnership in First Class Cricket, both added 561 as openers in Karachi 1976-77. Record for highest second-wicket partnership also belongs to Pakistan’s pair of Aamir Sajjad and Rafatullah Mohmand; they added 580 for second wicket against Sui Southern Gas Corporation while playing for WAPDA in 2009.

22. Youngest to make Test and ODI Debuts

Hassan Raza, at age of 14 years 227 days, became the youngest player to make play a Test match. He debuted against Zimbabwe in Faisalabad in October 1996. Second and third youngest to make Test debut are also from Pakistan; Mushtaq Mohammad and Aqib Javed made their Test debuts at age of 15 years 124 days and 16 years 189 days respectively.

Hassan Raza, at age of 14 years 233 days, also became the youngest to play an ODI Match. He made his debut against Zimbabwe in Quetta in October 1996.

23. Youngest to score century in ODIs

Shahid Afridi’s maiden ODI century was not only the fastest it was also a century by youngest player in ODI Cricket. Afridi aged 16 years 217 days amassed century of 37 balls against Sri Lanka at Nairobi in 1996. 6 out of top 10 youngest players to score ODI century are from Pakistan.

The young bowler, who was in his new flights, cut his wings himself. He is younget fast-bowler to have 5 wicket-haul in Tests. Miss you!

24. Youngest to take 5-wicket haul in Tests

In 1958, slow left-arm orthodox bowler Nasim-ul-Ghani took 5 wickets for 116 runs, at age of 16 years 303 days, against West Indies in Georgetown. The 5-wicket haul made him youngest bowler to achieve this feat. He was also youngest player to make Test debut at that time.

Moreover, another young Pakistan fast bowler Mohammad Aamir is youngest fast bowler to take 5 wickets in an Test innings. In December 2009, at age of 17 years 257 days, Aamir became the youngest fast bowler and second youngest bowler to take 5 wickets; he took 5 wickets for 79 runs against Australia in Boxing Day Test of 2009.

25. Youngest player to score double-century in Test Cricket

At age of 19 years 140 days, Javed Miandad became the youngest batsman to score a double-century in Test Cricket. In October 1976, Miandad scored 206 runs against New Zealand in Karachi.

26. Youngest bowler to take hat-trick in ODI Cricket

Aaqib Javed at age of 19 years 81 days became the youngest bowler to take hat-trick in ODIs. In Final of Sharjah Cup October 1991, Aqib Javed ripped apart Indian batting and claimed 7 wickets for 37 runs including a hat-trick. Ravi Shastri, Azharuddin and Tendulkar were victims of his hat-trick; all were out LBW. Aqib’s figures of of 7 for 37 were the best bowling figures of that time.

Hanif, the little master, was one of four brothers to play Test Cricket for Pakistan, a world record itself!

27. Only triple-century in second innings of the team

There have been many triple-centuries scored in Test Cricket but, to date, Hanif Mohammad’s 337 against West Indies in Bridgetown 1958 remains the only incident of a batsman scoring triple-century in second innings of the team. In his marathon innings, Hanif Mohammad batted for 970 minutes which is another World Record of longest Test innings played with-respect-to Minutes.

In same match, Pakistan were bowled out on 106 in first innings. In follow-on innings, Pakistan scored 657-8 (declared). The difference of 551 between two innings is the largest difference between a team’s first and second innings; a world record itself.

Now some joint records by Pakistan

28. Highest tenth-wicket partnership in Test Cricket

In 1997 against South Africa, pair of Azhar Mahmood and Mushtaq Ahmad added 151 runs for tenth wicket in Rawalpindi. Azhar Mahmood also scored century on debut in same match. The tally of 151 equaled the record by Hastings and Colling who also scored 151 for tenth-wicket against Pakistan in Auckland 1973.

29. Twin-centuries on Test Debut

Yasir Hameed is the only second batsman to score two-centuries on Debut. He scored 170 and 105 in his debut against Bangladesh in Karachi 2003. Lawrence Rao, of West Indies, is the only other batsman to score twin-centuries on debut; Rao also scored double century in one innings.

30. Maintaining average of 50 throughout batting career

Javed Miandad, along with Herbert Sutcliffe, is the only batsman in Test Cricket whose batting average never fell below 50. Miandad ended his career with batting average of 52.57, scoring 8832 runs in 124 Tests.

Cut, slice, pull, drive, smash, push, hook, sweep; Inzamam did all of them with his sheer class. Stunning resistor, he was!

31. Five batsmen scoring centuries in a Test Innings

In August 2003 at National Stadium Karachi against Bangladesh, Five batsmen of Pakistan’s batting line-up scored centuries, making it only second instant; first Australia’s five batsmen scored centuries in an innings. Saeed Anwar (101), Tafueer Umar (104), Inzamam-ul-Haq (105), Mohammad Yousuf (102*) and Abdul Razzak (110*) were part of this record.

HE GOT HURT ..!! SHE GOT HURT ..!!

2011-06-19T14:18:00.001-07:00

Waooo!

HE proposes, yippee! wait!

SHE rejected!

Yippee!

The most happy person ever HE was!

"Thanks GOD buchat hOgye" .. e bcz HE didnt love that girl ! :)

But just doing becaus HE cry one night over her

problems and innocense ..!! and He offered ..!! :D :(

HE said to her dunt maarry ...!! 1st He willl help in searchin some
one you(she) love ...!!

Marrry Him when no 1 left on earth to maarry that gal ..!!

the most annoying thing happened to this MAN is that when some 1 he
loves the most( his b.frnd) tell his secrets to any 1 ...!

he felt That he GOT HURT ..!! acctually this happened to this gy before ..!!
so he asked his new

b.frndd many time .. k dunt dunt ever do like this ...!!

so he offered this gal a offer of best frndshp ever !! and you know why HE tell his best frnd

about proposal scene ...!! bcz 1* he thought he must get an idea if she dunt have a feeling

over him ( thanks GOD she dunt have also ... lucky bOy ) and 2* so he had in his mind k he
must be rejected so he remained Best frnd with her..!!

bt what happened ...!! but he got hurt ... she promises ..!! and blurted OUT my secretsss...!!

THE PROBLEM WITH this boy is that he believes in everyone ...!! and GOT hurt in the end ....!!

also when he asked his best freind k u broke out the promise ..!! he got reply " NO i didnt ..!! "

BUT HE NEED MORE PEOPLE nOW... whO hurt me mOre ..!! cant write More about himmmm...!!
bcz he WANTS TO DIE ..!!

Post mortem says student died because he didn't send a Sai Baba SMS to seven people

2011-06-19T14:18:00.000-07:00

New Delhi:

A20-year-old college student, who was found dead last weekend in Vasant Kunj, did not die of a road accident, as thought of earlier. The autopsy report came out today and it claims that the youth died because he had not sent a particular SMS to seven friends about a month ago.

The student, Varun Gehlot, was found dead early morning on Sunday. Initial reports had suggested an attack from a raging bull, while some speculations said that a speedy car killed him. The police, however, ruled out the possibility of any road accident since no evidence could be found supporting the speculation.

Sai Baba SMSes: Forward them or die

"During investigation into the phone records of Varun Gehlot, we found an SMS he had received from a friend of his on April 2. The SMS said, 'This SMS was first sent from Jammu. Tomorrow is the birthday of Sai Baba. Fwd this SMS to seven people otherwise you will die within one month.' But he sent it to only one person and therefore met his death," observed the report.

Meanwhile, Varun's father and sister, who also received a similar SMS earlier this week, have anxiously started forwarding it to as many people as they can. Due to their busy SMSing schedule as a result of this, the funeral has been delayed, even as the police have returned the dead body after investigations.

The autopsy report has sent the whole city into a grim mood, with people of all ages busy sending out the message to seven people each. Even those who didn't receive any such message typed it out. People are leaving no stone unturned to save themselves from a disaster that might occur if they ignored a particular SMS.

The government has, meanwhile, requested the public to maintain peace and harmony. It issued an advisory to people telling them to forward such messages. The government cellular service, MTNL has cut down SMS rates for messages that contain matching content.

Twin Sisters Reunited by Fate

2011-05-11T08:31:00.001-07:00

The word “soulmate” is not the exclusive province of romance. I love this story by Susannah Meadows onNewsweek’s website about twin girls born in China who found each other four years later in the U.S. Here is the mildly abridged story.

THE POWER OF TWO
Separated at birth, twin sisters born in China never doubted that they were somehow part of a pair. Four years, two continents, and a high-speed Internet connection later, they finally met their match.
This story beats love at first sight. Two people longed for each other, though they may have never met. They felt connected though they may never have touched. They’d even been given the same first names, though their families were strangers. By the time Meredith Grace Rittenhouse and Meredith Ellen Harrington were finally introduced, love was almost beside the point. Their bond was more mysterious, more fundamental. The Merediths are Chinese fraternal twins who were adopted by two different American families. The girls found each otheralmost six years ago, when they were 4, and haven’t let go since.
Jiangmen, China, is a subtropical city, but during the winter it can cool off quite a bit. It was on an early December day that Meredith Grace’s birth mother left the newborn baby girl outside and said goodbye. In China, children who are abandoned by their parents are often left in public places where they are found quickly. Meredith Grace’s mother chose a busy part of town, the entrance to Holiday Park, across the street from an orphanage. If anyone knew how long Meredith Grace waited on that sidewalk or heard how loudly the baby cried, it might have been her own mother—women who abandon their babies have been said to wait nearby, still watching over their children, unable to do more than see who comes along.
Meredith Grace was taken in by the Jiangmen City Social Welfare Institute on Dec. 8, 1999. She was described as weak upon arrival in the single typed page of history the orphanage gave her adoptive family. The administrators guessed she was 1 week old and gave her a birthday of Dec. 1. Two weeks later, another baby girl, also found nearby, arrived. She was given a birthday of Dec. 16, though now she celebrates on the first day of the month.
During the nine months the two girls lived at the orphanage, they likely did not have much contact. As far as their American adoptive families know, there was no reason for the institute to suspect that the girls were twins. They lacked a strong physical resemblance then. At the orphanage, babies slept in stainless-steel cribs lined up end to end. They were taken out to play on bamboo mats placed on the pink tile floor, but the infants would have been too young to interact much. Their adoptive parents believe, however, that the girls were cared for by the same two nannies, which would suggest that their cribs were in the same room. When they were 4 years old, both girls were able to remember who was the “nice” nanny and who was the “mean one” when they looked at a picture of the women (even though the “mean one” was smiling). Such is the detective work of families hoping to find clues that their daughters knew each other from the beginning.
When she was 10 months old, Meredith Grace moved into her new home in suburban Chicago with Jim and Susan Rittenhouse, one a science-fiction buff and the other a dog lover, and now, together, parents. Meredith Grace was an early talker, and like her father, an enthusiastic one. Bubbly and smart, she developed a passion for geography and soon was drawing maps of the continents and begging for a globe. She adjusted to her American life well, but she was obsessed with the idea of sisters. She used to tell her preschool teacher about the one she had in China; her parents took this to mean that she wanted one. Asked to complete the sentence, “When I grow up I want to be a … ,” a 3-year-old Meredith’s answer was “sister.”
One month before the Rittenhouses adopted Meredith Grace, Leigh Anne and Mike Harrington had named their little girl Meredith Ellen and taken her home to Birmingham, Ala. Soon after, Meredith Ellen spoke her first words. When she was 2, she asked for a globe and started studying the continents. Meredith Ellen was quieter than the sister she didn’t yet know about in Chicago, and she went through periods of melancholy. When she was 2 she told her parents, “I’m so lonely. I wish I had a sister.” Leigh Anne and Mike decided to give her one—they adopted Ally when Meredith was 2 and a half, but the gloom didn’t fade.
In Chicago, the Rittenhouses were getting ready to adopt a sister for their Meredith when a Yahoo group posting caught Jim’s eye. He was skimming over a listserv connecting parents who’d adopted kids from the Jiangmen Social Welfare Institute at the same time. He rarely bothered to read messages anymore, now that it was almost four years on, but one posting was from a family he’d once exchanged a few friendly messages with during the lead-up to their adoptions. He remembered that they’d chosen the same name for their daughters. Now the other family was posting a recent photograph. Jim moved his mouse and clicked. That little click turned out to be a kaboom. There on his screen was what looked like his own daughter’s face. His wife was in the next room. “Honey?” he said.
Soon the families were swapping photos and stories. One picture of Meredith Grace in front of the dollhouse she’d gotten for Christmas that year, her head slightly cocked into an apostrophe, was the clincher. Leigh Anne thought the girls looked exactly alike and asked Meredith Ellen, who tended to tilt her head in a similar way, what she thought of the picture. “That’s me, but I don’t have that dollhouse or the dress,” the 4-year-old said. Meanwhile, in Chicago, Susan Rittenhouse’s casual observation “Wow, they could be sisters” had acquired new punctuation: “Wow, they could be sisters!” A DNA test eventually told them what they already knew.
Meredith Grace was introduced to her sister in the parking lot of a Birmingham hotel. Both girls had been told only that they were from the same orphanage. Days before, the 4-year-olds had spoken on the phone. Before hanging up, Meredith Grace whispered “love you” to the sister she’d never met. And now here she was. Across from Meredith Grace was the same glossy black hair and khaki skin color she’d seen before in the mirror, but never recognized in her own family. The girls circled each other for just a moment. When they finally released each other from that first hug, they took each other’s hand, Meredith Grace on the left, Meredith Ellen on the right. Meredith Ellen told Meredith Grace, “I think we were born together.”
The corollary to the Merediths’ elation at finding each other is the devastation at having to separate again after visits. Grief unspools into tantrums. “Worse than I’ve ever seen before in her whole life,” Jim Rittenhouse wrote in his online journal after the girls’ first reunion. “One night last week, she got to the point of taking an ice cream whatzit and throwing it with as much force as she could at the table. (*splat*smash*).” Since that first meeting almost six years ago—the girls are now 10—they’ve seen each other about a dozen times. In between visits, they don’t speak on the phone because it makes them too sad. But Meredith Grace has told her parents that she thinks about Sissy, as they call each other, 10 times a day. Visits are arranged out of necessity, when the yearning becomes too much. Their mothers start seeing it at the same time. Meredith Grace’s attitude flares. Meredith Ellen will cry at night, saying, “I miss Sissy.” Sometimes she just starts wearing glasses, which she doesn’t need; her twin does. So the word goes out. “Mer is missing Sissy a lot right now. She has even thought tonight that she wishes they could both be back in China together,” went one email from Leigh Anne to her counterpart in Chicago. Travel Web sites are checked for sales. Dates are put on the calendar. And the emotion immediately rights itself.
And so it goes for the “twin-laws”—the families’ term for one another—who find themselves in an arranged marriage with an entire group of strangers. Extra money goes toward airline tickets between Chicago and Birmingham. Family vacations are spent at a suburban home 700 miles away. But for both the Rittenhouses and the Harringtons, the joy at seeing the girls together outweighs the challenges of reuniting them. They’ve developed a warm, respectful relationship. (Other twins in Segal’s study haven’t been so lucky. One twin’s family cut off communication with the other twin’s family two years ago. This, after the twins had been in contact for several years, visiting and reading each other Dr. Seuss stories via Webcam. The remaining twin, who is now 8, asks her dad, “Do you think I could see my twin one last time?” The father is optimistic that when the girls get a little older they can be in touch on their own terms.)
Despite the emotional stress on everyone, both Merediths say they feel complete now that they’ve found each other. Meredith Grace became more confident, her mother, Susan, says. She faced her fear of dogs because her twin had five of them, and got over her aversion to putting her face in water because her twin could. Meredith Ellen’s blues disappeared. “I feel close to Sissy because she has been with me since the beginning and when we were put in orphanages I knew that it was sort of hard but I knew that I would find the missing piece in my heart. I found the missing piece,” she wrote in her diary. The parents found themselves reoriented, too. “We have always felt that family bonds are not dependent upon genetic connection. It is the foundational belief of our family,” Leigh Anne, a family therapist specializing in international adoption issues, wrote in an e-mail to a friend right after the Merediths met. “However, there is no denying that these girls share something beyond. It is amazing.”
Their reunions at the airport have become a ritual. On a warm morning this past June, Meredith Grace was too nervous to eat. On her way to Chicago’s Midway Airport, she clutched her stuffed dog, Scruffy, along with a Ziploc of bologna for when the hunger kicked in. She was wearing a navy T shirt and cargo pants, the same thing her sister would have on: outfits are coordinated weeks in advance. When Meredith Grace spotted her sister coming through security, she dashed into her arms. The clock ticked and ticked. Then they pulled back and gazed into each other’s eyes, heads tilted, just like in the picture that brought them together. You almost wanted not to look, the way you’d avert your eyes from two people kissing in the street. Then they were two little girls again, one admiring the other’s necklace, both jumping up and down and screaming “Yay! Sissy!” in unison. Taking off to get the luggage, they held hands. Meredith Grace was on the left, where she’s been for years. Seeing them united, you understand why the two won’t settle for talking on the phone, an experience Jim calls “pretty thin gruel.”
And so their visits are cram sessions: jumping on a beanbag, karaoke, tickling, Uno, poking, sharing earbuds, playing teacher, posing for pictures, hide-and-seek, pillow fighting, swinging, giggling, swimming, digging a hole in the sandbox. This was just one afternoon during their most recent Chicago visit. Not every second is bliss. Like all sisters, they can get on each other’s nerves—”Would you literally stop that?” and the sibling classic “Get your butt off me!” Always, they are in physical contact, as if to reassure each other that they’re still there. “Absolute radiant joy,” is how Jim describes seeing the girls together. “Seeing them is like sitting by the fireplace and feeling the warmth,” he says. What does being together feel like for the girls? “A present,” says Meredith Grace.
A couple of years ago Meredith Grace drew her dream house: two townhouses next door to each other for their families, with the girls’ bedrooms connected by a door. Her latest idea for getting the Harringtons into the neighborhood: “We could have that old man move out.” Though the Rittenhouses and Harringtons have thought about moving closer, for now the girls will have to settle for visits, like a recent joint trip to Disney World. Standing in line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, the spookiness was getting to Meredith Grace. When their boat pulled up, Meredith Grace climbed in between her mother and father while Meredith Ellen shared another row with her family. But as soon as they were off, Meredith Grace scrambled over the seat to clutch her twin for comfort. There, next to Meredith Ellen, she was right where she was supposed to be.

Where’s Hillary? Hasidic paper breaks the rules by editing Clinton out of White House photo

2011-05-10T09:14:00.001-07:00

Hillary Clinton's expression, right hand clasped over her mouth in astonishment, is largely responsible for making the above photo iconic--and, to at least one newspaper, sexually suggestive.

In the photo, President Obama and his national security team are huddled around a conference table in the White House Situation Room, watching CIA director Leon Panetta narrate last Sunday's raid on Osama bin Laden's compound. The mood is clearly tense.

When Women's Wear Daily consulted a coterie of photo editors and designers about why the image is "destined to be one for the history books," Clinton was foremost in their responses.

"The Hillary Clinton expression is the one that holds the photograph fully," Time's photo director told the magazine. "You can see 10 years of tension and heartache and anger in Hillary's face," Conde Nast's Scott Dadich agreed.

Turns out she was probably just coughing during that crucial moment captured by White House photographer Pete Souza. But nevertheless, the image still proved a bit too racy for at least one of the many newspapers that printed it.

That would be the Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic broadsheet Der Tzitung, published in Brooklyn. The paper photoshopped Clinton, as well at the only other woman who could be seen in the room--Audrey Tomason, the national director of counterterrorism--out of the frame.

"Apparently the presence of a woman, any woman, being all womanly and sexy all over the United States' counterterrorism efforts was too much for the editors of Der Tzitung to handle," noted the prominent women's blog Jezebel.

Indeed, "The Hasidic newspaper will not intentionally include any images of women in the paper because it could be considered sexually suggestive," Rabbi Jason Miller explains in The Jewish Week. Though he notes that the publication's "fauxtograpphing" may in fact be a graver act against their religious tenets: "To my mind, this act of censorship is actually a violation of the Jewish legal principle of g'neivat da'at (deceit)."

Beyond that, Der Tzitung's editors apparently missed or blatantly ignored the guidelines stipulated on the official White House Flickr page, where the photo was released for use by news organizations: "The photograph may not be manipulated in any way."

The White House has not issued a response on the altered image.

UPDATE: The editors of Der Tzitung have apologized to the White House for altering the photo and responded to the Wasington Post with a comment clarifiying their position:

"In accord with our religious beliefs, we do not publish photos of women, which in no way relegates them to a lower status... Because of laws of modesty, we are not allowed to publish pictures of women, and we regret if this gives an impression of disparaging to women, which is certainly never our intention. We apologize if this was seen as offensive."

100 Unbelievable Facts

2011-05-10T09:09:00.001-07:00

1. If you are struck by lightning, your skin will be heated to 28,000 degrees Centigrade, hotter than the surface of the Sun.

2. If you trace your family tree back 25 generations, you will have 33,554,432 direct ancestors – assuming no incest was involved.

3. The average distance between the stars in the sky is 20 million miles.

4. It would take a modern spaceship 70,000 years to get to the nearest star to earth.

5. An asteroid wiped out every single dinosaur in the world, but not a single species of toad or salamander was affected. No one knows why, nor why the crocodiles and tortoises survived.

6. If you dug a well to the centre of the Earth, and dropped a brick in it, it would take 45 minutes to get to the bottom – 4,000 miles down.

7. Your body sheds 10 billion flakes of skin every day.

8. The Earth weighs 6,500 million million million tons.

9. Honey is the only food consumed by humans that doesn’t go off.

10. The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters.

11. A donkey can sink into quicksand but a mule can’t.

12. Every time you sneeze your heart stops a second.

13. There are 22 miles more canals in Birmingham UK than in Venice.

14. Potato crisps were invented by a Mr Crumm.

15. Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in their correct order.

16. Eskimoes have hundreds of words for snow but none for hello.

17. The word “set” has the most definitions in the English language.

18. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating its letters is uncopyrightable.

19. Windmills always turn counter-clockwise.

20. The “Sixth Sick Sheik’s Sixth Sheep’s Sick” is the hardest tongue-twister.

21. The longest English word without a vowel is twyndyllyngs which means “twins”.

22. 1 x 8 + 1 = 9; 12 x 8 + 2 = 98; 123 x 8 + 3 = 987; 1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876; 12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765; 123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654; 1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543; 12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432; 123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

23. The word “dreamt” is the only common word in the English language that ends in “mt”.

24. Albert Einstein never wore any socks.

25. The average human will eat 8 spiders while asleep in their lifetime.

26. In space, astronauts cannot cry because there is no gravity.

27. Hummingbirds are the only creatures that can fly backwards.

28. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

29. Cockroaches can live 9 days without their heads before they starve to death.

30. A flamingo can eat only when its head is upside down.

31. The lighter was invented before the match.

32. The average left-handed person lives 7 years LESS than a right-handed person.

33. The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year!

34. Scientists with high-speed cameras have discovered that rain drops are not tear shaped but rather look like hamburger buns.

35. The first Internet domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com on March 15, 1985.

36. When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone back in 1876, only six phones were sold in the first month.

37. Approximately 7.5% of all office documents get lost.

38. Business.com is currently the most expensive domain name sold: for $7.5 million.

39. In 2001, the five most valuable brand names in order were Coca-Cola, Microsoft, IBM, GE, and Nokia.

40. In Canada, the most productive day of the working week is Tuesday.

41. In a study by the University of Chicago in 1907, it was concluded that the easiest colour to spot is yellow. This is why John Hertz, who is the founder of the Yellow Cab Company picked cabs to be yellow.

42. It takes about 63,000 trees to make the newsprint for the average Sunday edition of The New York Times.

43. On average a business document is copied 19 times.

44. The largest employer in the world is the Indian railway system in India, employing over 1.6 million people.

45. Warner Chappel Music owns the copyright to the song “Happy Birthday.” They make over $1 million in royalties every year from the commercial use of the song.

46. All babies are colour-blind when they are born.

47. Children grow faster in the springtime than any other season during the year.

48. Each nostril of a human being registers smells in a different way. Smells that are made from the right nostril are more pleasant than the left. However, smells can be detected more accurately when made by the left nostril.

49. Humans are born with 350 bones in their body, however when a person reaches adulthood they only have 206 bones. This occurs because many of them join together to make a single bone.

50. May babies are on average 200 grams heavier than babies born in other months.

51. Leonardo da Vinci was dyslexic, and he often wrote backwards.

52. Nazi leader Adolf Hitler had only one testicle.

53. Queen Lydia Liliuokalani was the last reigning monarch of the Hawaiian Islands. She was also the only Queen the United States ever had.

54. Rolling Stones band member Bill Wyman married a 19 year-old model Mandy Smith in 1988. At the same time Wyman’s son was engaged to Mandy Smith’s mother. If his son had married Smith’s mother, Wyman would have been the step grandfather to his own wife.

55. There are 158 verses in the Greek National Anthem.

56. There are about 6,800 languages in the world.

57. There was no punctuation until the 15th century.

58. Children laugh about 400 times a day, while adults laugh on average only 15 times a day.

59. The coconut is the largest seed in the world.

60. There is cyanide in apple pips.

61. If you were to take 1 lb. of spiders web and stretch it out it would circle the whole way around the world!

62. If every person in China stood on a chair and jumped off at the same time…it would knock the earth off its axis!

63. A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night!

64. The shortest war on record, between Britain and Zanzibar in 1896, lasted just 38 minutes.

65. The Shell Oil Company originally began as a novelty shop in London that sold seashells.

66. The symbols + (addition) and – (subtraction) came into general use in 1489.

67. If you save one penny and double it every successive day, (day two you have 2 pennies and day three you have 4 pennies, and so on), by the end of 30 days you’ll have $5,368,708! (or £’s or whatever currency).

68. It is not possible to tickle yourself. The cerebellum, a part of the brain, warns the rest of the brain that you are about to tickle yourself. Since your brain knows this, it ignores the resulting sensation.

69. The best time for a person to buy shoes is in the afternoon. This is because the foot tends to swell a bit around this time.

70. The typical lead pencil can draw a line that is thirty-five miles long.

71. Due to precipitation, for a few weeks, K2 is taller than Mt. Everest.

72. Astronauts get taller when they are in space.

73. There are over one hundred billion galaxies with each galaxy having billions of stars.

74. The surface area of the lungs is roughly the same size as a tennis court.

75. A dog can hear sounds that are 100 times fainter than the faintest sounds that a person can hear. If a person can just hear a noise that is coming from 10 feet away, a dog could hear that same noise from 100 feet away.

76. If a sole (a type of fish) lays upon a chessboard it can change the colouring of its body to match the pattern of the chess board. The sole takes about 4 minutes to make the change.

77. Of all the animals on earth the mosquito has contributed to the deaths of more people than any other animal.

78. In the courts of the Roman Empire, instead of swearing an oath on a bible, men swore to the truth on their statements while holding their genitals. Hence the word ‘testify’, from ‘testicles’.

79. The first soap powder, produced in 1907, was made with Perborate and Silicate – hence its brand name, Persil.

80. If we could shrink the earth’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, there would be 57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 from the Americas and 8 Africans. Only 1 would own a computer.

81. All elephants walk on tiptoe, because the back portion of their foot is made up of all fat and no bone.

82. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

83. Hawaii has the only royal palace in the United States.

84. Chicken liver can be used to change A type blood to O type blood.

85. It takes only 8 minutes for sunlight to travel from the sun to the earth, which also means, if you see the sun go out, it actually went out 8 minutes ago.

86. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

87. An octopus has 3 hearts.

88. If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

89. The hair on a polar bear is not white, but clear. They reflect light, so they appear white.

90. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

91. The combination “ough” can be pronounced in 9 different ways; Read this: “A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.”

92. The blue whale has a heart the size of a small car and its blood vessel is so broad, that a person could swim through it.

93. A left-handed person finds it easier to open a jar than a right-handed person because they can supply a stronger anticlockwise turning force than a right-handed person. However a right-handed person will find it easier to tighten the jar up afterwards.

94. The orbit of the Moon about the Earth would fit easily inside the Sun.

95. A chameleon can move its eyes in two directions at the same time.

96. Typewriter is the longest word that can be made only using one row on the keyboard.

97. Because of the rotation of earth you can throw a ball farther to the west than to the east.

98. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

99. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

100. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar (euro, pound).

I am Legend – Jahangir Khan

2011-05-10T08:38:00.001-07:00

In a country where news channels have a section for sports and then one on cricket and where people sometimes unwittingly say that cricket is the national game, it’s easy to understand how squash in the country went from producing a great like Jahangir Khan to being an obsolete sport.

I swear! I don’t understand why squash hasn’t been given its due attention like cricket, and to some extent hockey. Have we forgotten Jahangir Khan and Jhansher Khan?

The Legend’s Legendary Career

There has been no – and I mean NO – sportsman in the history of Pakistan more successful than Jahangir Khan. Come to think of it… maybe even in the history of ALL sports.

You don’t think so?! You think Mr. Tiger ‘unfaithful’ Woods is more successful? Well if money, number of endorsements, or TV commercials is your measure, then Tiger could lead the pack.

BUT, if you measure success by the number of titles won, the longest unbeaten streak, or achievements in the ACTUAL field of sports, then Jahangir Khan is your man!

At the age of 17 Jahangir became the youngest ever Squash World Open champion, humbling the great Geoff Hunt.

The Khan holds the record for the longest unbeaten streak of 555 matches, spanning over five years (1981-1986).

It was a shock to the whole squash loving world when the man from New Zealand, Ross Norman, defeated a visibly stunned Jahangir Khan in the 1986 Squash World Open Final. But because it had become a habit, the Khan remained unbeaten after this match for another nine months.

That’s not all! By 1991 the ‘Conqueror’ (the literal translation of ‘Jahangir’) had won six Squash World Open titles and ten British Open titles… IN A ROW!

Not enough for you? Well… In 1982 the Conqueror created another record, winning the International Squash Players Association Championship without losing a single point.

So Time Magazine is not wrong when it says “If winning is everything, then Khan is the greatest. Period.”

Now do you think that the Woods guy (excuse me… but I forget his first name) is a more successful athlete, or for that matter anyone else? If somebody shouts ‘Hulk Hogan’ I’m really going lose it!

Deservedly awarded ‘Pakistan’s Sportsman of the Millennium’ award, Mr. Jahangir Khan retired as a player in 1993.

The Legend Lives On

Even though Jahangir Khan is no longer on the field, he has held various key positions even after retirement. After his illustrious career, Jahangir was elected Vice-President of the Pakistan Squash Federation in 1997. In November of 1998, he joined the World Squash Federation as a Vice-President. Within a small period of four years he was elected President and remained so from 2002 – 2008, eventually becoming Emeritus President of the World Squash Federation in 2008.

Jahangir’s rise to legendary status is sort of an anti-climax when you discover that in 1979 the Pakistan selectors decided against selecting him to play in the squad for the world championships in Australia. According to them he was too weak from a recent illness. I would like to meet with these selectors and ask them just how stupid they feel now.

I am sure you now understand why the title of this blog has the letter ‘a’ omitted before the word ‘legend’. Mr. Jahangir is not just ‘A’ legend, he ‘IS’ legend and we should be proud of him.

Sweet Things to Say

2011-05-04T12:11:00.000-07:00

People are too humble sometimes – they want something, but still pretend that they’re OK without it. Here’s one example of this undue modesty: A girl wants you to be with her, but tells you to go and do whatever you need to do – to go and live your life. She didn’t even bother asking you whether you want to go, maybe you want to stay with her.

What can you say to your girlfriend in this kind of situation? I suggest this: Girl, you are my life and I’m not going anywhere…

The earlier I wake up the more time I will spend thinking of you

Posted on April 11, 2011 by Slamutiz

Here’s a common situation: you’ve decided tomorrow morning to do something. So you get up early, but unfortunately, you’ve awaken your girlfriend who only needs to wake up after a little while, for example, one hour. She gets mad at you and asks why did you wake up so early? What do you need to do? Solution is to tell her that she shouldn’t be mad at you, because the earlier you wake up the more time you will spend thinking of her.

That may bring smile to her face again.

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I’ll be there for you

Posted on April 10, 2011 by Slamutiz

My friend gave me a great idea of this article – told me a story of his which I would love to share with all of you:

“She and I were together at my home till she received a call from her father. I’ve witnessed changes of her face expression – it became serious and I couldn’t help but notice that she was frightened. I knew something happened as I’ve overheard a part of the conversation. She ran home to see if everything’s fine with her father, but she wanted to go there alone. I called her after a couple of minutes, but there was no answer. I received a message afterwards with a text that she can’t talk right now because indeed something’s wrong. I couldn’t just sit on my bed and wait so I came by her flat and waited till she had time to meet me and tell me what’s going on.”

I found out that he’d waited for 3 hours. Would you do the same thing? If yes, your girlfriend might be really happy. If not, try behaving like that – show support and care, because that’s definitely sweet.

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You’ve painted my life with all the colors

Posted on April 9, 2011 by Slamutiz

Usually before meeting someone special life seems to be good, but when finally you fall in love – it becomes amazing. You may even realize that your life back then was dull in comparison with how things are right now. Well it’s not surprising – new colors have been brought to your life, which you may not have even considered of existing.

And here comes a sweet thing to say to your girlfriend: You’ve painted my life with all the colors. Why is it sweet to say this? Simple answer – because everybody loves to be the ones who made something nice happen.

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If I let you go I would regret for the rest of my life

Posted on April 8, 2011 by Slamutiz

Sometimes life can’t be as perfect as you would love to. One day you’re happy, you have everything what you’ve wanted, but another day the world may turn upside down. This happened to me when my girlfriend told me that next year she’s going far, far away from home and me as well. She wants it so badly and I can do nothing about it, I want her to be happy. What’s more difficult is that she doesn’t want to leave me too, told me that she would come home as often as possible only if I accept to wait for her till she reaches her goal. I am surprised at myself because I’ve decided to do so, because if I let her go I would regret for the rest of my life.

If you’re trying to deal with a familiar situation and in conclusion you’ve decided not to let her go, tell her that and that nothing, even the distance, can’t tear you apart!

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Posted in Sweet Things to Say to Your Girlfriend | Tagged decision, distance, let you go, long-distance relationship,Miss You, special | Leave a comment

Only you have the key of my heart

Posted on April 7, 2011 by Slamutiz

She’s staring at you and when you ask what’s up, she says nothing. Familiar? I bet it is for most of you. Once, I’ve decided to ask my girl what’s up with her, why does she keep doing that? She answered that sometimes she becomes jealous of me and then she hesitates whether my feelings for her are real. I comforted her: you have nothing to be worry about, because only you have the key of my heart…

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My love for you has no limits

Posted on April 7, 2011 by Slamutiz

Does everything have the beginning and ending as well? I doubt that this question can be answered unanimous, but one thing for sure – true love has no ending, no boundaries and it can beat everything.

My love for you has no limits – it means I am ready to do what it takes to make you happy.

Waleed Khan: The eight-hour drive for chai…

2011-03-12T22:38:00.000-08:00

The eight-hour drive for chai…:

The eight-hour drive for chai…

2011-03-12T22:15:00.001-08:00

Illustration by Faraz Aamer Khan/Dawn.com

Introductions are in order here so let’s say it is safe to remember me as Bisma from Brooklyn. I am at that age where your dreams no longer matter because you must get married or suffer at the hands of all Pakistani aunties in the whole wide world.

My family and friends, with only good intentions, are constantly setting me up with rishtas and blind dates. All the chai time and dinners have been, to say the least, an interesting experience and a few stand out for many different reasons.

Rishtas are a huge part of Pakistani culture and at one point in the world’s history it was the only way marriages actually happened. So Pakistanis are not any different from any other culture — we just like tokeep things traditional. As a matter fact, after going on a few bad dates, rishtas seem refreshing. But as pleasant as they are for me — they can also be just as awkward as any dating experience.

And I know how embarrassing it can be for a girl or guy to get dressed up like an ‘Eid ki goat’ and serve chai or get served by a nervous young woman. But every once in a while – you get to meet people that like you just the way you are with the glasses and simple clothes.

But before I delve into the rishta I met — lets clear up a few things about my family so no one makes any assumptions about my parents being one of those snobby families (far from it trust me).

My family comes from a religiously moderate middle class background, both parents have worked in their respective fields for over 25 years and my siblings and I worked while we went to school and college (and are still working/studying). My parents prefer to find me a Muslim, Pakistani (not a must) guy who works hard and comes from a decent family, nothing more or less, because my father strongly believes that a good man is a hard-working man. And I agree with them because, well, I am not into money (or I wouldn’t be writing) or looks (because I am no super-model). Besides, I am a hard-working person and it is a quality I tend to admire and appreciate in any person.

For this story, I will have to name my parents, my mother’s name is Anjum (*) and my father’s name is Zafar (*).

It was a Thursday evening and we were going to have dinner with someone who was bringing over someone to meet me through some aunty’s reference. The background bio-data: he lived in Minnesota, and he worked in IT.

A couple of hours before the arrival of the guests and during a long search for the lemon-scented polishing wood spray, I received a phone call at home. And the conversation went something like this (in urdu):

Bisma: Hello
Arshad (*): Salaam
Bisma: Wa alaikum salaam
Arshad: May I speak with Bisma Auntie?
Bisma: (smiling) You want to speak to whom?
Arshad: Bisma Auntie
Bisma: And you are…
Arshad: I will be visiting today to meet Anjum for a rishta
Bisma: Oh my, that’s gonna be problem.
Arshad: Why?! What happened?!?!??
Bisma: Well, Anjum married Zafar like 30 years ago so she is just not available….
Arshad: (starts laughing) Well then….maybe I am coming to visit Bisma?
Bisma: Yeah, Bisma Auntie is still single…despite Anjum’s marriage.
Arshad: And who am I speaking with now?
Bisma: Oh right – you are speaking with Bisma Auntie…
Arshad: HAHA, oh so sorry – this is awkward.
Bisma: Not anymore – I think we just might be friends now.
Arshad: That’s true – awkward part is pretty much over and passed by.

The conversation ended with directions to the house and then of course a long wait. My father is one of those punctual men – he still does not understand why desi people cannot make it in time for anything.

Among one of the things I was expecting from meeting Arshad was a good laugh to share after the phone episode but things do not always go as I expect them to…

When Arshad and his aunt arrived, he was completely quiet…almost anti-social. If it wasn’t for my father who was trying to make conversation – we wouldn’t have heard his voice at all. While my mother and his aunt chatted away, my sister and I made chai and stuff.

My father asked him questions about where he lives and works, in return he gave one word answers, awkwardly. He had both his hands firmly placed on his lap, face down, and would lean forward to reply – it was weird. Even their conversation was pretty awkward:

Zafar: So son, where do you live?
Arshad: Jee, Minneapolis.

Five minutes later…
Zafar: It must be a cold city, how was your flight?
Arshad: Jee, it is. I drove.

Five minutes later…
Zafar: So how was the drive?
Arshad: Jee, long.
Zafar: I see, how long to be exact?
Arshad: Eight hours.
Zafar: Okay, let me see, what is keeping the chai…

My dad came over to the kitchen and said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with him but something is.”

And then walked out.

I brought the chai out and thought maybe he would be friendlier with me but nothing changed despite all my efforts. Soon they left – although not soon enough for my dad. Surprisingly, his aunt called that night to say that he wanted to meet me, privately, but my mother felt he was a bit too old for me (a little over eight years). Age was actually the excuse — the real issue was his communication skills or the lack thereof — I get being nervous at moments like these but his behavior was nothing short of being plain odd…

P.S. I would like to take this opportunity to invite the reader, men and women, to share your story. Please take the following advice into consideration:

Please refrain from using disrespectful language, ranting on women or men, and using real names and/or places out of respect for others.

Other than that, I wish you “happy sharing.”

For the love of cricket … not the green insect BY JIA WEI ON 03 9TH, 2011

2011-03-12T22:04:00.001-08:00

For those of you who do not know me, I am the Chinese guy from ‘What the Chinese guy said.’ Ever since I have been living in Karachi, my Pakistani friends and colleagues have been asking me about cricket. People always questioned me, “Do you like cricket?” or “Have you played cricket?” It usually came after the question “Do you know kung-fu?” I am sure most of you would agree if I said that cricket is the second official national religion in Pakistan. I remember one reader of my previous blog mentioned that I had not yet experienced the real Pakistani life till I understood the spirit of cricket. Cricket takes a significant position in every Pakistani’s heart; from what I observed, at least half of the nation, even girls, takes part in street cricket. Just like how Malaysians are obsessed with badminton.

You would surely give me a flabbergasted look then, if I told you I was not aware of cricket (I swear did not know that such a ball game existed on Earth) two months ago, like I did not know the word ‘Pakistan’ plainly means ‘the land of the pure’ in the Urdu language. I remember, back in Singapore, my professor once told me “You will find it very fascinating to see local kids play cricket on the streets in Pakistan.” At that time, I really thought she was referring to the insect called cricket (the green creature which looks like a grasshopper). That would out rightly be extraordinary if kids made two crickets fight on the streets (I never heard about crickets fighting), like how we make roosters and fighter-fish brawl as our pastime in Malaysia.

I finally knew that cricket referred to the ball game when I was in Sri Lanka, just three days before I came to Pakistan. There was a banner at the airport that said ‘ICC Cricket World Cup 2011’ (Imagine what occurred in my mind at that moment “Cricket, the insect…and World Cup?”). Curiously, I asked around and finally got to know from a Sri Lankan about this baseball-like ball game (the Sri Lankan guy must be thinking this Malaysian is a fool).

Lesson one: Cricket is a type of ball game. It is very popular amongst subcontinent countries and British colonials, except for Malaysia and Singapore and other tropical countries.

Cricket can be found everywhere in Pakistan. – Photo by author

A wise man once said ‘curiosity killed the cat’; yet, my curiosity never sleeps. Especially when everyone around me was describing how fun the game was. However, I had never got a chance to actually touch a cricket ball yet before the momentous Saturday evening came. It was another chilly February when I left the Dawn.com office with Nadir, my colleague, at around nine o’clock. We were heading to Burns Road (one of my favorite places now in Karachi: it is dirty and unglamorous and it is, certainly, not as well-developed as the Clifton area for tourists, but it shows the real image of the old Karachi. Burns Road is a living dictionary to study this city and its residents’ orientation. Rome was not built in a day; walking on Burns Road, I could even smell the filth from the drains from over a hundred years ago. Plus, there is FOOD! So we went to have dinner with three of Nadir’s friends. We went to an old restaurant which sells delicious Shawarma, fried kebab and brain-masala. After that, we went toNadir’s house and began men’s talk along with a music-playing-session, surely with Pakistan’s favorite hot drink – ‘chai’ (milk tea). Out of the blue, one of his friends suggested, “Shall we play cricket?”

One thing that makes Pakistanis so interesting to me is that they argue and criticize everything; it could be something about politics and religion, or life, or small things like whether to play cricket or not. They are so enthusiastic about letting others hear his/her thoughts that it happens every time, even during a casual conversation, a Pakistani would voice out whatever is in his mind expressively (sometimes even aggressively). So, in this case, debate and argument came after the suggestion. Some of them (including me) loved the idea of playing cricket, and were trying to work it out, while others complained about the time – it was getting pretty late in the night. Most of the time, I would quietly observe the conversations, mostly because I was amused by the scene (sometimes I used to be frightened by these aggressive behaviors).

Finally, a decision was made. Pakistanis never let me down. The plan was on.

Lesson two: Decision making comes along with a battle, as well as sacrifice, if needed.

After several cricket sessions, I am still far from being a good batsman. – Photo by Osman Siddiqi

It was midnight. We were standing in the middle of the road. Nadir and his friends started marking territory while others were warming up.

“Are you familiar with baseball?” one of them asked.

“I have played it before…but…not really.”

“What about tennis? Or badminton?”

“Yes, badminton.”

“Okay then, I guess it is very similar to badminton.”

Usman, another friend of his, tried to visualise the game of cricket for me while explaining all the rules and the role-playing. Of course, everything was bewildering and it seemed nothing similar to badminton. From what I understood, the batsman had to hit the ball and make sure that it flies as far as it can so that both batsmen would have enough time to run. While the fielder had to catch the flying ball or run after it and try to hit one of the wickets before the batsmen are back from running – a batsman is out of the game if his wicket is hit by the ball. To me, it sounded more like ‘Quidditch’ which Harry Potter and his wizard friends played at school – the batsmen (the beaters) hit the Quaffle and the fielders (the seekers) are catching the golden Snitch. I was startled by the manner in which the ball was supposed to be bowled. It was different from what I expected and so much fun. Furthermore, it was definitely a good way to release stress and anger. Jawad, another friend of Nadir’s came to me and said, “Now, you are the fielder.”

Lesson three: Bowling is a good way to let go off some steam.

I bowled the first ball of my life after a short training session. – Photo by Osman Siddiqi

“What does a fielder need to do?” I asked.

“Well, you run as fast as you can to the ball, grasp it and throw it back to the nearest fielder/bowler near the wicket.” So the game finally began, with many question marks still in my head, plus the curiosity about the magic of this tiny white ball that it plays on Pakistanis’ minds. The balls that we played with were not exactly cricket balls you see on TV. They were actually tennis balls. We bought them from a nearby petrol station and covered each of them with a sticky tape used to join electrical wires so that the balls were more visible. Everyone stood at their positions and looked a lot more serious than they did five minutes ago, prior to the game. As a beginner, I really hoped that I would play well. The first ball was hit by the batsman and I knew the game had started. Usman was the one who caught the ball while people were shouting and running, for reasons that I did not really know yet. Then, before even realizing what had happened, the next ball was bowled and things were repeated. The pace on field was very fast, and no one except me was so unoccupied that I asked, “What happened?” while I was waiting for a chance to catch the ball. Too bad the ball had never been flying in my direction. I waited at the side, still studying the game when abruptly I heard, “Jia Wei, run! Jia Wei!”

I did not know why I should run but I did so when the tiny ball flew past my shoulder. I ran to the direction where the ball fell. From behind, I heard someone shout at the batsmen “Run!” while Usman, who was now standing beside the wicket shouted at me, “Pass the ball to me, here, over here!”

The ball was in my hand now, but I did not know where to toss it. Initially, I wanted to throw it to where the wicket was, though it was very far from where I stood. Should I pass it to Usman? Before my brain could make a worthwhile decision and send the reflex order to my body, the ball was already tossed and it flew across the field and passed through the gap between Usman and the wicket. It happened within seconds and it was too late.

Lesson four: Cricket is an incredibly fast-paced game. Be very wise when making decisions.

“Straighten your hand…360 degrees, jump and throw it, good job!” I bowled it with vagueness with the given instructions. – Photo by Urooj Mughal

It was our turn to bat this time around and I was the first batsman. Despite how panicky as well as excited I was, I told myself “Try your best, it is very easy – hit the ball when you see it”. The cricket bat is so much bigger than a baseball bat that I did not think it would be harder than batting in baseball. What I expected was I should be able to hit three balls out of six, at least. Two minutes later, I realized it was not as simple as I thought. The ——– ball is so small. It might not be that hard to actually hit a ball hurling towards you, but the most challenging part (also the fun part) is to be able ‘to see’ the minuscule ball at night. So I stood there and watched the bowler toss the ball. Gosh, where did the ball go? I completely missed it! “Lucas, hit the ball, hit!” When I finally did see the ball, this time it was speeding towards my direction and was very close to where I stood. Five seconds later, I missed the ——– ball, again.

Lesson five: At night, it is harder to ‘see’ a cricket ball than to hit it.

Street cricket, Pakistani-style. – Photo by author

The next day, we went to the beach. Of course, how could we not play cricket there? So first we prepared some barbequed food and then played some cricket at a rented hut. It unquestionably is more entertaining when one is more familiar with the game. At least I knew what was going on this time around. I practiced more and my game was getting better. Cricket is the kind of ball game where you need a lot of practice before you can play well. Frankly speaking, morning is a better time for a beginner to practice cricket!

Lesson six: That’s not cricket!

I am learning the manner in which to bowl a cricket ball. – Photo by Urooj Mughal

That is not fair. The British soldiers had never introduced cricket to Malaysia and made it popular amongst the nations during their colonization. Otherwise, we would have known about this game, and maybe, we would play better than Pakistanis and Indians do. However, I noted one thing: cricket is not a game for the rainforests. Back in my motherland, Malaysia, it rains everyday. On the other hand, cricket is a sport played predominantly in the drier period of the year – it cannot be played in wet weather because humidity affects the bounce of the ball on the wicket, and so forth.

In Pakistan, there is something more to cricket than an ordinary ball game – it is an evidence of their civilization’s progress. Pakistanis have been playing cricket since the day the British landed on the soil of Indus and created their empire on this land. Decades later, the Pakistanis gained independence but never let cricket leave their generations.

Nowadays, when extremists squabble about the dire influence of westernization they never argue about the existence of the game called cricket – the sportsman spirit that the British left for the nation, because cricket is just too important to everyone in this country. Cricket is part of the development of Pakistan as a nation in the global sphere; the cross-cultural combination between the west and the Pakistani customs. A Pakistani cannot live without cricket, just like how a shot can only be lived through the meeting of leather and willow.

Jia Wei is an intern at Dawn.com

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

Facebook

2011-01-23T23:55:00.000-08:00

This has been downloaded 7000+ times in less than two months, which is a success from a wordpress plugin perspective as they are only used by website owners, not end users like iPhone apps .

So when we assessing the talent that exists in Pakistan, let’s not forget that other than the companies, there are many freelancers who are marching to their own tune and doing their own thing – all below the radar. Well done Sohail. We are proud to know you. Keep doing whatever your heart tells you to because it is your passion (in addition to your hard work and talent) that has resulted in some of the wonderful work you have been able to do thus far.

COMNET - TELESOC

2010-12-07T11:01:00.000-08:00

Bill Gates speech: 11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school

2010-09-16T08:20:00.001-07:00

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Hidden facts behind fake evidences of ‘News Of The World’!

2010-08-31T10:57:00.000-07:00

Lords, London – England: British police on Sunday bailed without charge a man arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to defraud bookmakers.

Several people are saying that these allegations are quite right & the players must be punished. The simple answer is these are accusations because they are not proved yet & will not because of the weak strength of the evidences.

Hidden facts behind these fake evidences (People saying these are real, here is the answer that these are fake):

1) Picture of Salman Butt with so called ‘fixer’ Majeed & so called ‘reporter’ of ‘News of the World’ :

Take a close look of this picture ==>

Salman Butt is in front, he should be stand in between of them.
You can see how much is the difference between the quality of Salman Butt pic, the so called ‘fixer’ pic & the reporter pic.
The width of the shadow of Salman’s neck is too big then it comes in real.
Have a look at the right side bottom of the picture, bottom of the so called ‘fixer’ Majeed, there is some thing with white border & with black inner surface, what is it, may be a chair or table or some thing. One thing proves here that the photographer is not professional. Then how he gets high quality picture of Salman Butt.
The left arm of the jacket/coat which Salman Butt is wearing is so straight, in real its not look like this. Check the yellow line on the left arm of the Salman Butt.

If you are still not believing, let’s believe it is true for a while, this picture can be take on some kind of party, the press ‘reporter’ is there, the so called ‘fixer’ is the agent of several ‘Pakistani players’. Still it is not proving that any kind of fixing here.

2) 1st Video in which the so called ‘Reporter’ is giving money to so called ‘Fixer’:

Watch the video carefully:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mjHBFDamqc&feature=player_embedded

No time is mentioned, it might be recorded after the overs or after the day.
When ever any kind of bookie takes such a big amount, he never counts it & he always receive cash in the form of briefcase.
What kind of hidden camera is this, which is just fixed in front of the so called ‘fixer’ & table? A CCTV, no because such a hidden camera can’t provide high quality result (colour view) with high quality voice.

3) 2nd Video in which the so called ‘Reporter’ is giving cash to the so called ‘Fixer’ in the car & after this ‘Fixer’ is giving his jacket to Wahab Riaz:

Watch this video carefully:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLILvZPfhdE&feature=player_embedded

Again no date & time is mentioned.
So called ‘Fixer’ is seeing in the camera & talking.
Amazingly, so called ‘Reporter’ is giving cash to the so called ‘Fixer’ in the car where there is light & people are walking on the road near the car.
3 cameras are in the car according to the video & so called ‘Fixer’ even can’t point out a single camera & he is looking into it.
In the car the so called ‘Fixer’ is wearing ‘Light Blue’ shirt & when he is giving his jacket to Wahab Riaz, he is wearing ‘Black’ shirt.
Showing or Giving jacket is not proving anything, because the weather in England is cold & may be Wahab Riaz is feeling cold so Wahab just borrowed the jacket from him.

4) Why the ‘News of the World’ team didn’t went to Police on August 27, 2010:

Because the evidence were not ready.
Because they were waiting for some kind of poor performance so they can provide more strength to there fake evidences.
Some people are saying that because of their weekly edition they leaked the videos on August 28, 2010, well this is not the reason because if they would’ve visited the Scotland Yard on August 27, 2010 with their evidences then there was a chance that Scotland Yard would’ve kept the videos secret until August 28, 2010.

5) So Called ‘Fixer’ Mazhar Majeed released on bail:

Scotland Yard on Sunday bailed without charge a man arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to defraud bookmakers.

“A 35 year-old man has been bailed until a date in the future”, a Scotland Yard spokesman said.

6) Salman Butt refuses to resign after false allegations:

The captain of Pakistan Test Cricket Team insisted he would not be resigning after being implicated in an alleged betting scam.

The matter is almost over, the criticisers must now stop criticising. The English media completely failed in their ridiculous mission.

7) Pakistani players can leave England:

The Pakistani players at the center of the scandal are free to leave the country, London’s Metropolitan Police said Monday.

Cockroaches of the human race ...!!

2010-08-26T00:18:00.001-07:00

Pakistan, you are a failed state. Not because of Zardari. Not because of America. But because you are a failed people, all of us undeserving of sympathy. We are diseased, rotten to every brain stem, world please make an impenetrable fence around us, keep us all in so we don’t spread it to other people, other countries.

These were words I posted on a social networking website. I have an unusually negative mindset these days. It happened after I saw the video of the two teenage brothers brutally clubbed to death by a crowd frenzied with blood thirst in Sialkot. The police watched gleefully. The video has blurs at certain parts, but even this sensible sensitivity does not prevent one from seeing mists of blood flaying from the heads of these teens as they are hit relentlessly, and remorselessly, again and again.

The murderous crowd was truly representative of the richness of Pakistan. Some wear jeans, others shalwar kameez, some were bearded, others clean shaven. The Pakistanis had gotten together to have some fun.

Do not be shocked. This wasn’t isolated, it’s just that the crowd wanted to make sure their orgasmic moment could be captured for later viewing, at one’s pleasure. We blame our ill-educated brethren for the barbarity we witness, but that’s a self-serving lie.

The middle and upper classes are immune to education it seems. They hold opinions of everyday violence even if they have never raised their hand at anyone. If you believe Jews are the scum of the earth, all Ahmadis deserve to die or that Hindus are inferior, well why not two teenage boys?

I want Pakistanis to feel shame, in fact a substantial loss of self-esteem would be great. This is the only way for us to begin to doubt ourselves and the incessant excuses we make. Yes, the world is right to add restrictions on our visas, to see us as dangerous. If for even a while we felt we were the cockroaches of the human race, maybe we would get to the point we stopped the lies we tell ourselves and let this continue.

The fact is, if we had real democracy, there would be no internet in Pakistan, women would not be allowed out of their homes, education would come to a standstill and we would begin a programme of killing off every minority. Thank you corrupt generals and politicians, you keep this at bay with some sense of being answerable to a world that still has some humanity in it, even if you don’t.

And please, no excuses, no excuses. Don’t give us that, “If only there was true Islam they would be better”. I think a thousand years is enough, we can’t wait longer. And there was no America in existence for most of that, or even western colonialism.

You want to know just how sociopathic we are? In response to these killings some are happy to say we deserve earthquakes and floods. Typical. Don’t change yourself, but give credit to the indiscriminate and inhumane forces of nature. The floods are a tragedy, an atrocity and should never be used to bolster an argument that really only demands self-reflection.

And please, in your self-reflection don’t call us animals, most of them are benign vegetarians. Also don’t blame Sialkot; they were just unlucky because they are subject to scrutiny. There is so much more out there.

There is such a sense of sickening moral superiority in Pakistanis, it needs to be addressed. All we care about is foreign policy, eager to point out the hypocrisies of the world, silent on our domestic, or even local life. Why should the world take what you say seriously, why should you be a regional power, or a leader in the comity of Islamic nations?

Truth is, there is only one way to get change, and it’s not hanging the people who killed these boys. It is raising your voice to contradict people who advocate death for others, no matter who they are speaking of. To internalise that murder of any kind, for anyone is wrong. Sounds easy? Well just try it.

Russell Peters

2010-07-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

Russell Peters is an Indo Canadian stand up comedian and actor. He is well known for his quick wit and mimicry. Peters was born in Toronto, Canada to Eric and Maureen Peters. He hosted the Juno awards two years in a row. Sirius Canada, the satellite radio company, teamed with Russell Peters to find Canada's Best Funny Five, a national talent hunt to discover the Canadian with the best five-minute comedy set. Peters has set up an award worth of $20,000 to help a needy student of his former high school, the North Peel Secondary School. The money will be awarded to a student with good academic standing and needs financial help to attend college. The scholarship is known as Russel Peters North Peel Scholarship. ⁵

Russell Peters Indian Accent

2:28

Russell Peters Indian Accent

Russell Peters, edited from the video - looking for paint? - cutting tension with the indian accent
by whadeva | 4 years ago | 5,262,673 views
Life and Career
Russell Peters started performing stand up comedy in 1989. He was nominated four times for the Gemini Awards. Peters was featured on Montreal's Just for laughs, the Winnipeg Comedy Festival, and theEdinburgh Festival. His 2009 tour, named 20th Anniversary Tour, will go over Canada, USA and UK. it started in January, 2009His comedy DVDs are Outsourced, and Red, White, and Brown.
Quotes
Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white ⁶Remember when Halloween was about being scary? Now its just about looking skanky... What do hookers dress up as?... Regular chicks? ⁷
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AirBlue Crash in Islamabad Kills 100+

2010-07-28T07:08:00.001-07:00

A commercial airliner carrying 150 people crashed in a ball of flames on Wednesday into densely wooded hills above Islamabad during heavy rain and poor visibility, leaving little hope of survivors.

Rescue officials said pieces of charred flesh and body parts were littered around the smouldering wreckage, partially buried on a remote hillside following Pakistan’s first major aviation accident in four years.

Private airline Airblue’s flight 202 from Karachi was coming into land at Islamabad’s Benazir Bhutto International airport when witnesses saw a jet flying at unusually low altitude before hearing a loud boom.

Excited TV reporter falls into borewell while covering news about a child who fell in it..."Princess ko bachaana hai" (Save Princess).

2010-07-27T00:56:00.001-07:00

Atelevision news channel reporter has not yet been rescued after he fell inside a borewell in the village of Anarkali, 10 km from Agra. The incident happened while the reporter, Vinod Singh, was shooting a report for his channel, about a 5-year-old girl, Princess, who had fallen into the same borewell earlier in the day. It has been as long as 40 hours since the girl fell into the borewell. Singh's channel has put a digital timer clock on its screen that shows that it has been 40 hours since the reporter fell. The channel still maintains the headline as, "Princess ko bachaana hai" (Save Princess).

Television footage shows Singh reporting in a highly excited and enthusiastic manner. He repeatedly bent down to peep inside the large hole drilled to reach the girl. His left foot slipped during one such attempt, when the newsreader in the newsroom apparently shouted his name loudly because his voice could not be heard properly.

The army, that was called to rescue the girl, has been paid by the television channel authorities a handsome amount of money to rescue the reporter before the girl. According to sources, this was done so that the rescued reporter could cover the news of the child being rescued, since the channel has no substitute reporters to go to cover this whole incident.

A toilet break at the exact moment had apparently caused the channel's photographer to miss the videos of the child being rescued, the last time a similar event happened in Madhya Pradesh. Therefore, the channel is eager not to miss it this time. Our source with the channel said on condition of anonymity, "The CEO wants an alive Vinod Singh to cover the rescue of the girl, whether live or dead. However, efforts are being made to select an insane, noisy and excitable correspondent to be sent to Agra as soon as possible. Yes, these are the eligibility criteria for us while choosing reporters to cover such incidents."

The incident has not discouraged other news reporters from other channels, and the place is now intolerably noisy, with each and every reporter trying to put forth his noisiest voice and the most fake sympathy for the parents of the girl. The parents of the girl are demanding the state government to pay compensation money and a place in Bollywood for Princess if she is taken out safely.

USA worried since its cheerleaders could lose jobs if IPL gets banned

2010-07-27T00:54:00.001-07:00

Washington D.C.:

The future of the Indian Premier League (IPL) and its commissioner Lalit Modi is in danger, and this is now sending jitters to the USA. If IPL closes shop, it is likely that USA will suffer a lot, since American cheerleaders working in it will lose jobs. Modi is said to have been let off in criminal cases in the USA earlier on the condition that he got Americans jobs later on.

Amidst the global recession and rising unemployment rate, the possibility of IPL's end has shocked the American economy. The New York Stock Exchange fell down 300 points reacting to this news. President Barack Obama has himself expressed deep concern and said, "This could jeopardize the future of hundreds of school- and college-girls who never dreamt of earning a decent living. Instead, they chose to go to India and show their dance moves. Today they are the only source of income to our country." Sensing the gravity of the issue, Obama further said, "This is not acceptable that our women are losing jobs because there are allegations of betting on IPL."

"We have full trust in Lalit. He might even start a league of women cricketers with us as players, if not anything else," said a cheerleader.

Political pundits predict this development could endanger the outsourcing business and could aggravate the anti-Indian sentiments among the Americans. "It can also put brakes on the Nuclear Deal which is very dear to India," said one.

Infosys founder N R Narayan Murthy has also sensed the side-effects and requested the government to let the IPL be the way it is. "We need to improve the image of India - we are the job givers, not job takers," he said. Obama has assured the public, however, that steps will be taken by the government to ensure that IPL should continue and provide job avenues for American women. "Despite everything, we are still the lions and the Indians timid mice. We will manage it," assured Obama.

IPL Commissioner Lalit Modi, without leaving the opportunity to gain some praise, tweeted that the whole idea of IPL was to provide young talented unemployed American women a way to earn decent living and a decent boyfriend (he himself). This tweet was made through Modi's account only, which was supposedly hacked earlier. "I want to help the downtrodden Americans... I spoiled so many of them when I was a student there, and they all honour me," tweeted Modi.

Post mortem says student died because he didn't send a Sai Baba SMS to seven people

2010-07-27T00:51:00.001-07:00

New Delhi:

Sai Baba SMSes: Forward them or die

86-year-old woman accuses Baba Ramdev of winking at her during yoga camp

2010-07-27T00:50:00.001-07:00

Just when everyone thought that Nityananda, the young sex-starved Baba from South India had shown that he had more mettle than others of his breed, a woman has accused Baba Ramdev of winking at her. The incident happened at a yoga camp in Ayogyapur, Uttar Pradesh. However, regular viewers of Ramdev's shows claim that the Baba suffers from theproblem of a blinking eye, and he can always be seen doing so on TV.

The woman, 86 years of age, caught the blinking eye when the yoga-guru was teaching the mal-mootra pranayama. However, a 20-year-old girl sitting adjacent to the lady, has claimed, "He was blinking at me, how can that old hag claim such a thing! The man is such a pervert, he had been winking at me for half an hour, and I didn't know what to do!" Pundits consider it to be potentially a big setback for Ramdev's political dreams.

Baba Ramdev blinks his left eye

Even as Aastha channel tried to conceal the videos from this camp, several news channels have caught Ramdev blinking indeed. Channels have shown the blinking eye with big red circles surrounding them. The record for showing the video most times went to India TV - it showed it 56 times in a span of 5 minutes, replaying hysterically.

Swami Ramdev's assistants at the Patanjali Chikitsalaya, Haridwar, however laughed off the news. "Everyone knows of Swamiji's eye problem. His own pranayamas for eye-cure have repeatedly failed to cure his blinking-eye problem, much the same way as his other severe diseases of piles, sleepwalking, gas trouble and political mindset remain even after using his best pranayamas. Its not a big deal, as long as he is curing others well," said Baba Kamdev, a quack doctor at the Chikitsalaya.

"In fact Swamiji has chosen an animation of his blinking eye as his election symbol. This will be the first political party to have an animated election symbol, instead of a silent elephant or a motionless bicycle," said a close aide of Ramdev.

Prime Minister proves he loves President Oba-ma more than Bharat Ma

2010-07-27T00:49:00.001-07:00

On completing 1 year in power, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in his speech seemed to be a lot thankful to US President Barack Obama. He thanked the USA for their support and also mentioned ways in which India plans to pay back.

"President Obama asked for international cooperation for United States recently. He said the US needs the world to move with it. India is ready to cooperate in any way possible and I take this opportunity to extend the will to work with US for its development," said PM Singh in the press conference. Here is how Singh responded to Obama's points:

When Oba-ma hypnotised the PM of Bharat Ma, Manmohan Singh

1. To Obama's request that companies say yes to Buffalo and say no to Bangalore:The Prime Minister said he would take steps to make sure this happens. He said we have taken so much from America; its time for giving back.

2. To Obama's comment that US is facing stiff competition from India because India produces far more engineers and scientists than them: Reacting to this the PM said, "We produce our professionals for USA only, not for our own country. So I think Mr Obama should not be worried." Singh said all the IITs have been set up for USA only. "Just like Pakistan uses terror camps to manufacture terrorists to attack US, we use IITs to make engineers and scientists to export them to the States. A substantial amount of American doctors are of Indian origin. We are taking steps in the country so that talent doesn't nurture the way it should, by putting the reservation bill into effect." He said that promoting talent here would lead to India's development, which wouldn't please US; so we should not do so.

3. To Obama's comment that India's development is putting pressure on the fossil fuels since Indians are buying more cars: The PM said he plans to bring down the development and GDP growth of India substantially in the coming years. "In the past 2 3 years we have not removed taxes from the petrol and diesel and increase prices every year making oil in India one of the costliest. We intend to discourage people from buying cars and to degrade their standards of living."

4. To Obama's question on how food prices have gone up since Indians have started eating more: Manmohan Singh said he is making the food stuff very costly so that Indians stop consuming the goods of even daily requirement. "We have special instructions for Union Minister for Diabetes Control, Sharad Pawar to make sure the prices of sugar, wheat, rice, oil, pulses go out of reach of the common man thanks to his hoarding skills in sugar etc. We'll soon have a cap on eating limits for the Indians - those eating three rotis will have to reduce it to 2 otherwise they must pay tax." On being asked about malnutrition by some reporters, Singh said that he only sees the health of Sharad Pawar to assess the food situation of India and to him he looks more than nourished.

"President Obama gave me a nice treat last time I went to US; so many items were there on the menu. If we don't cooperate, I might not get that kind of state dinner next time I visit the White House. India is ready to cooperate with folded hands bowing to America to give them their nuclear technology and make their companies billionaires and loot all the wealth of India if any is left not looted by US companies who do business in India," said the Prime Minister.

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