WalesOnline - South by South Wales

Nostalgic already

2008-08-25T13:07:24Z

It is our last show today and I am already feeling nostalgic for this month, despite the fact it isn't even over. I am already blotting the low points out of my memory and pretending that this August has been one long beautiful gig with the occasional break to drink far too much with some wonderful friends.

Between focusing on myself I have also seen some wonderful comedians, a special (and rather predictable) mention must go to Rhod Gilbert and John Gordillo, whose shows were nothing short of magnificent and deeply inspiring for what can be achieved as a stand up. And that only leaves time for a brief hall of fame of my funniest lines at the festival from some friends one mine who aren't (yet) as famous as these two (NB these will only make sense in context, so imagine your own set ups to these wonderful punchlines):

"The muse has deserted me" Henry Paker

"I was playing Call of Duty with my grandad and he recognised someone" Luke Benson

"The difference being a mix tape is made with love" Behemoth

"I HAD JUSDED THE SITUATION TO BE LOW RISK" Mike Wozniak

"Europe's largest wooden rollercoaster" Elis James

There you go, makes not much sense to you, but I'm happy. We have some guests at today's show and some special events planned and it should be great. Right, I'm off to pack my stuff.

2008-08-20T11:17:25Z

I'm in the final of So You Think You're Funny? tomorrow night. I'm starting to get nervous. Stand up competitions are very strange things.

The best way I have found to keep sane while doing stand up comedy is to not compare yourself to others. You see a lot of comedians getting upset because they see others that they consider themselves to be better than getting good reviews or the gigs they want for themselves. Suffice to say these people are not very happy.

Stand up competitions force you to compare yourself to others and to be honest, it isn't very nice. However many times you are told to treat it as another gig, it is quite difficult when there is £2000 and a trip to Montreal comedy festival at stake. And worst of all, the chance to be judged against your peers, and not escape it.

Can I finish today by congratulating the wonderful Mike Wozniak for his If.comedie newcomer nomination today? Yes I can. If you get the oppotunity to see his show at 10pm at Medina (just opposite Bristo Square) then please do. And he is a lovely man too.

We could be heroes...

2008-08-20T07:44:08Z

Comedy gives you a chance to meet your heroes. And even if they're not your heroes, they might be someone else's (we've already sold tickets to Adam Price MP, the actor who played Duff in Pobl Y Cwm and the woman from early 90s sitcom Surgical Spirit, and that was only in the first week). However, famous people often use their connections to get comps (complimentary tickets) or acces to the pestlist (guestlist), and we at South by South Wales are not happy with this. The box office have been told that the following people must pay full price, no matter what strings they pull...

Britt Ekland (I'm actually managed by the same people at Edinburgh as Britt has a show up here, but I've never met the woman and she's loaded)
Will Carling (for his own safety)
Brian Harvey from East 17 (his temper is notorious and Josh has a great joke about him, so even if Josh does take a smack we'll want money to change hands first)
Jeremy Paxman (that is one battle with a heckler I wouldn't win)
Nelson Mandela (attention seeker. We can't compete with that)

So there. If I know you I'll probably walk you in for nothing. If you're one of the above buy a ticket and take your chances. Enjoy the show.

My bedroom is trying to kill me

2008-08-18T10:42:22Z

As previously mentioned, I spent the first six days of the festival sleeping in a bedroom with a gas leak. I neglected to mention that I was woken a couple of nights later by the rope snapping on my window shutter (yes, I live in a house that hasn't been refurbished since the 1900s) and it crashing down like a gunshot. Then last night I was woken by a blackbird scrabling at my window. From the inside.

I don't know how the blackbird had got in to my bedroom, my window and my door were shut. It is an, admittedly disappointing, Jonathan Creek of a locked room mystery. Rather than investigate I decided the best course of action was to flee and I spent the rest of the night asleep on the sofa while my room was occupied by the bird.

I'm no expert, but from what I remember a blackbird is a sign of death. Tired of trying to kill me with gas and crashing wood my bedroom has given me one final sign that I should escape. I might move to the spare room.

Missing sport

2008-08-16T10:35:23Z

Conversation at the festival very rarely stretches beyond comedy. Part of the problem is that I have lost all touch with the outside world. In usual circumstances I would be able to talk to Elis about the Olympics or the start of the football season but the fact is I have yet to see a minute of action from Beijing and I have not followed any transfer news since I got here. The football season starts today (or at least the Premier League does) and I would quite like to watch the first game this lunchtime, but I'm sure something will get in the way of that happening.

In a way it's quite refreshing losing contact with sport, usually at work I will spend most of my day looking at sports news to keep myself entertained. Is my life that empty? Of course not, I am just easily bored, like most people. That's why I'm going to finish up this blog now and head out to flyer. The joy.

The halfway point

2008-08-14T10:57:12Z

Yesterday was our day off for South By South Wales, we have reached the back nine of the festival. For me, and many others I imagine, thoughts turn to two things; what have I achieved at this festival and what am I going to do when I get back? The main aim of coming to Edinburgh was to progress as a comic. As a performer there is no doubt I have advanced from the nervy stand up that arrived at Waverly station two weeks ago; now I have to wait to see if this will be reflected in the gigs I get offered when I return home.

From my understanding the career path of a stand up should work something like this: Open mic gigs (5 minute slots on bills with other new stand ups or above pubs); Open spots at bigger clubs; paid work (starting with 10 minute slots for little money and moving onto 20 minutes); Becoming an established circuit comic (playing all the clubs, coming to Edinburgh with an hour show each year etc.); Radio and TV (if you are lucky/unlucky depending on your viewpoint); death. I am currently working my way off the open mic circuit after six months of stand up, which is about right.

In comedy you aren't one big break away from the big time, you have to work for years to get anywhere. Winning competitions and getting signed by an agent can help but you will still have to work at it for years (Mark Watson is playing to 750 this year but he has had to work for nearly a decade to get there). I know this is the case, but it would still be nice to get some sort of lucky break before the end of the festival, just so I feel like I am moving forward more than anything.

Doing it for the kids

2008-08-14T09:07:48Z

Unlike the normal comedy circuit, Edinburgh can throw up some strange and wonderful audience experiences - we've had three people in from Liechenstein (they loved my material about Carmarthen leisure centre), the wife of a Times journalist who promised to 'put in a word for me with the lads at newsdesk' (I have about as much desire to work on a newsdesk as I do to co-own a nightclub in Llanelli with Sid Owen from Eastenders), and some children.

Now then...there are some established gigs for kids on the circuit. The Komedia in Brighton runs an under 12s show on a Saturday, which has some of the biggest names in comedy attempt to clean up their material and make it palatable for an audience about to sit their SATS. However, Tuesday was the first time I'd ever stared a child in the face who was staring his mother in the face who was staring at me in the face as I wondered if I could remember to substitute every swear word with a 'fiddlesticks.'

The good news is that I did (about 80% of them anyway - you can't talk about Carmarthen leisure centre to a crowd of Scottish people without swearing at least once), and I'm glad I did. If the 10 year old sat in the front row yesterday grows up to be the next decade's most infamous spree killer, I'd like to apologise to the victim's families now, and assure them that I did all I could. However - if the ten year old was the son of a Guardian reviewer who goes on to say in print that my material lacked 'grit or comic integrity,' expect to see grainy CCTV footage of me going on the rampage with an airgun (it's the most I'd be able to lay my hands on I'd expect - I have no contacts in the underworld)

My God Edinburgh can put a man under pressure.

The rain...

2008-08-13T11:40:19Z

...is interminable. My feet are wet, my trousers are waterlogged and my spirits are broken. As I'm sure most people know, Edinburgh is very hilly. Combined with the rain this creates rivers and puddles on the roads and one underpass between the Gilded Balloon and Pleasance Courtyard that has become a ford.

There are various views on what this has done to crowds. Last Wednesday, the first day of the deluge, every gig in Edinburgh seemed to be a disaster. No one wanted to laugh on Black Wednesday. (NB Of course South By South Wales was still brilliant, I can say that as I wasn't in it that day).

People seem have adapted to the rain now, mainly by donning those free ponchos you get at theme parks and grumbling. Crowds are a bit more responsive too, more used to laughing with damp feet than they were, maybe it is just the comics are no longer taking the strains of a day in the rain onto stage. Why do we always blame the audience?

Goodbye Ed from me

2008-08-10T11:56:05Z

My final gig tonight, and it was a stormer. It seems as if Sunday's are our best days. The last two we've had wonderful crowds who have really bought in to what we're bringing to the Fringe. It's nice to get a couple of good gigs under the belt when we've had a couple of quieter crowds this week. I'm sad to be leaving in many ways, but am also glad to be going home. I've had a good experience of what Edinburgh offers a comedian, and am happy with what I've achieved at my first Festival. I hand over SXSW to the capable hands of my brother who, incidentally, has just reached the finals of this years So You Think Your Funny competition. All is well with the Welsh at Edinburgh.

Free Fringe Fun

2008-08-08T11:53:17Z

As part of Edinburgh I've been getting extra gigs around town at Free Fringe events, and I played a strange little room tonight. A crowd of 6 gathered, consisting of 2 people from Lichtenstein, an American couple and a mother and daughter. Performing to 6 is always slightly surreal, but can be a very useful experience. If you can make an awkward feeling room of 6 laugh then you must be doing something right. To be honest I only really had 33% of the room on-board (the American man, and the daughter), the other 4 members of the audience spent ten minutes staring at me quizzically. I like to indulge the thought that I might be an acquired taste though, so 33% I'll take. Note to self; cancel my tour of Lichtenstein.

Scots Ruin Gig Shocker

2008-08-05T11:50:27Z

What a strange one! Matt had the room bubbling along nicely and I was thoroughly looking forward to taking the stage when all of a sudden a very threatening sounding Glaswegian began to demand his money back. It's always a shame when something like this happens as it will often cast a shadow over the gig which it is then very hard to exit from. His complaint, even though Matt had the room laughing, was that he hadn't told a joke yet. I was sat directly behind this man thinking that if he didn't like Matt there was no way he was going to enjoy my slightly obscure brand of comedy. I was right, they walked out after I came off stage and you can just imagine the conversation they were having in the bar afterwards. "Do the Welsh really call that comedy???" Well I'm afraid we do, and we've had plenty of people agree that it's very funny. Apologies to anyone who had the misfortune to be at that gig; we tried our best to get things back on track, but never really got the crowd buzzing again after it.

Caution, gas.

2008-08-05T11:34:51Z

I went home for an early last night, after six days it was the first time I hadn't fallen asleep drunk. I'm not saying that to prove I'm hardcore (I'm most certainly not), more just to illustrate just how difficult it is to avoid late night drinking in Edinburgh. I woke up this morning after 11 hours sleep presuming I would feel human for the first time in a week. Instead, I had a horrific headache and was soon sick in the shower. While I had previously blamed this particular morning routine on the drink, today I couldn't. I could, however, blame it on the fact there was a gas leak coming from the boiler in my bedroom, and I had apparently been sleeping through it for the past three days.

I'll be honest, it worried me, so I took evasive action to avoid explosion and propped open my bedroom door to let it air. Within 30 seconds the gas alarm was going off in the house and I thought maybe it was wise to call Transco (0800 111999, for anyone worried about their own morning sickness) to get a man to come and stop our house exploding. A task he tackled with aplomb.

Afterwards I asked the gas man how close I was to death, viewing the world with new eyes after almost meeting my maker. He threw out a few terms I didn't understand, but the gist seemed to be that I was in no danger at all. He then added wistfully, like a man mourning more innocent times past, "gone are the days when you could commit suicide by sticking your head in the oven".

Those were the days my friend, those were the days.

Oggy

2008-08-04T11:30:18Z

It was a great show today. A contingent of 3 of the Welshest men in existence sat in the front row and drove the gig with Matt from the off. He handled it amazingly and by the time I shuffled onto stage the contingent Cymraeg were leading our packed little room in a chorus of Oggy oggy oggy. I must confess I was stood there thinking "how the hell do I follow that", but luckily they went with it, and we had probably the best SXSW to date. Elis, being the most legitimately Welsh act amongst us, got a rousing chorus of Bread of Heaven for his entrance, which again was a little surreal. Audience numbers are staying high thanks to our wonderful street team who are going over and above to promote what is quickly becoming known as "The Welsh Show", and there is a real air of positivity amongst us that we could do very well this year.

Two songs

2008-08-01T11:32:40Z

There was a man in the audience yesterday who hadn't heard of the band East 17. He was 22. I don't know how this happened, but I'm sure I won't be the last to blame the starkly underfunded education system in this country for this lack of foundation knowledge. He had already proved himself to be not my kind of person and then it turned out he "didn't like music", a lifestyle choice that I can only really describe as sick and wrong. On his iPhone he had two songs, I just looked and I have 4080 songs on my laptop (that's 43.4 days of music, maths fans) which is about half my CD collection. Perhaps most startling thing about this though was his song choices. Day in the Life? Like a Rolling Stone? Parklife? No, the theme tune to Battlestar Galactica and Disney's A Whole New World. For some reason that makes me like him a little more.