Walk by Faith Through Death: Tackling Tough Questions Concerning Death and Terminal

“My” book (part II)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Sun, 08 Jun 2025 18:43:00 +0000

Here I was, knowing I was to paint the book cover—immediately, I acted. I went to the bookstore and bought a painting book, paints, an online painting instructional video, and other items. I am excited.

Paul said, “Let God guide you and not have in your perfectionist mind what you think it should be like.”

I haven’t painted since college. The last thing I painted is my wooden Christmas ornaments.

Mom’s painting supplies included several blank canvases, paints, paintbrushes, and an unfinished painting.

“You can have it all,” Dad said.

I painted “Jesus in the Clouds” on canvas five times. Twice, I used Mom’s canvases and her paintbrush—using her supplies was neat.

It was challenging to paint Jesus as a cloud—I got frustrated. In one painting, the clouds surrounding Jesus were beautiful, but I did not do an excellent job of painting Jesus. Other times, the clouds surrounding Jesus looked terrible, but Jesus looked better.

Each time, the painting improved. They also improved when I prayed ahead of time. When I didn’t pray, it didn’t turn out as well. I painted one each weekend and continued until I got it right.

UHave you asked the children or grandchildren if they want you to discuss topics about their loved ones? When Lauren was an adult, I asked her this question. She said it depends on the child's age. If they are younger, it may not matter as much. However, she shared, “It hasn’t gotten any easier.” She did not want me to say, “Today would have been Granny’s birthday.” She cried as we talked. U

U What is God asking you to be obedient to do?U

Two Miracles (part IV)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 08 Oct 2013 12:59:00 +0000

Four days later, I returned to hopefully capture another photograph of the hummingbird feeding off the Iris. I arrived at the botanical garden early and saw Shelly in the parking lot. I asked him about the Iris, and he told me the bloom had died, and he picked it off. He mentioned there must have been another bloom underneath it because a new bloom had opened.

I was excited about photographing the new bloom and hoped the hummingbird would come back. With all my equipment ready, I waited for her arrival. It began to drizzle a little bit, but I was determined to stay. I waited 15 minutes in the rain, and for some reason, I didn't have my face to the back of the camera. The hummingbird let her presence be known by the roar of her wings, but it was too late. She buzzed around the Japanese Iris briefly before flying away. I was so disappointed.

During the hour and a half I waited, and she never returned. Although it had been drizzling the whole time, I was fortunate to have something to throw over my shoulders to keep me dry. I found another worker and told her Shelly should get the first bloom and press it for Jason’s mom. I left disappointed, but I think I may have one more try before the bloom is gone.

I went back today, and the bloom had closed and wilted. I was disheartened, but I knew ahead of time that when the Lord allows me to photograph His divine appointments, they often occur only once. I am thankful for the two miracles He allowed me to document, and I will never forget the story.

Two Miracles (part III)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Wed, 02 Oct 2013 14:28:00 +0000

A short time later, Shelly walked up. He said the flower had bloomed the day before. I told him I had been crying and then showed him the image on the back of my camera. To add to the miracle, he said he had never seen a hummingbird in the Iris garden. That doesn't surprise me. He said he was going to call Jason’s mom, and I asked him to please give her my email address. I want to print and mat the photo and give it to her.

Shelly walked away, and the next thing I knew, he was bringing a few workers to the Iris garden. I had met two of the workers before and showed them the image. Shelly had already told them the story of the hummingbird.

I wanted to learn a little about Jason. I found an article about the wreck and his page from the funeral home’s website. I cried as I read the sweet things friends and family wrote about him. I read about the great guy Shelly told me about. From what I read, he knew the Lord, so he is in Heaven with Jesus, experiencing an incredible life.

Two Miracles (part II)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 26 Sep 2013 22:27:00 +0000

The story emotionally touched me and knew this was one of God’s many miracles that He still performs today. I wanted to photograph the iris and put the story on my blog. When I first photographed the flower, it had not opened yet. I came back another time, and again, it had not opened.

Today, September 20th, 2013, I noticed the iris had opened. I was thrilled. Dew decorated its petals, and it was early in the morning, so the light was beautiful.

“It’s coming….it’s coming.”

The perfect light is coming, and I needed to be ready.

I had my camera and long lens mounted on a tripod. The camera was set to a two-second delay, so after I clicked the shutter it wouldn’t cause any vibrations. After the camera captured the photograph, I would look at the back of the camera to see the photo I captured. I did this several times, using different angles each time.

I realized the second miracle as I looked at the back of my camera. It had happened without sound or warning. The miracle was a blessing to me, and I started to cry. I looked at the camera in disbelief.

Did I see what I thought I saw? Yes—a hummingbird was feeding from the flower. Calculate that miracle with numbers: I set up my camera on a tripod with a two-second delay. I never saw or heard the hummingbird, and in those two seconds, after I pressed the shutter release, a hummingbird slipped into the photo while I was photographing the first miracle!

I sat and cried.

"I don't feel worthy of capturing that photograph."

The Lord knows hummingbirds are my favorite birds to photograph. I believe I can recall thinking how it would be neat if a hummingbird came by, and it did.

This is pretty much the original framed shot. I cropped in a little bit, but this is all of the hummer the photo captured.

Two Miracles (part I)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 24 Sep 2013 12:33:00 +0000

Just this week, I learned about a touching story. A curator, Shelly, at the State Botanical Garden of Georgia knew about my blog and thought I'd like to hear a story. He wanted to show me something in the Iris garden, and I followed behind. There were no flowers blooming in the vast garden until he pointed out an Iris with a closed bloom about to open.

He told me about the flower and the amazing story behind it. What could be so neat about an Iris in the garden? This story is of one miracle turned two. The story of the flower is special because of a young man named Jason, who was a former employee in the garden, and the Japanese Iris was his favorite.

Jason was killed in a car wreck on September 18, 2012. Shelly took Jason’s mom some Iris plants and planted them at her house the month after he died.

"Jason was the greatest person you would ever meet," Shelly said.

The first miracle is the flower bloomed a year and one day after he passed away, but there's more. No other iris flowers are blooming anywhere in the garden. That one flower stood amongst hundreds of other iris plants with no blooms at all. To add to the miracle, Shelly said that particular plant had been in the ground for at least four or five years and had never bloomed in September.

Being a servant (part II)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 19 Sep 2013 19:27:00 +0000

Today I showed up at her house again. I knew her husband went back to work today. I told her it wasn’t my fault (about me being there), and I told her about the blog I read stating to be there. She also said she probably wouldn’t have called.

This time I had a bucket of cleaning materials, and I wanted to clean her bathrooms and kitchen, then dust, and Swiffer. I talked with her a little while I was cleaning the kitchen. I moved the coffee pot and found two things behind it. One of the things I found was a tithing envelope that had her son’s name on it with a dollar amount written on it. I showed it to her in case she did not know it was there. She said it was in his pocket, when he died, and she was going to take it to the church. I think that is really neat.

I was able to finish cleaning their house and was glad I could minister to them in this way. I also found out the middle and high school students at our church brought in pantry items for the family. She had a large plastic shelving unit filled with all kinds of food. What a great idea.

U Having written this chapter….Do you think this was the right approach to helping a grieving person or would a person who is very private perhaps need the time and space to grieve? What is your experience with this situation? Each person is different. U

Being a servant

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 17 Sep 2013 15:42:00 +0000

I wanted to minister to my friend, and the only way I knew how was to serve her. I cleaned my sister's house after her newborn son passed away, and I knew cleaning house was not high on my friend's priority list.

I went over to her house twice within the last week to see if I could persuade her to let me clean her house. She did not know I was coming either time. As I was pulling into her driveway the first time I went to her house, another car was also pulling in. It was the middle school pastor and his family. When I got to her back door, her husband greeted us. I asked him if I was intruding on anything. He told me they were going to see their son’s truck and get his stuff out of it. The pastor was going with them and his wife and kids were staying at their house to watch over Grandmother.

I told my friend that I wanted to minister to her, and I brought my million dollar vacuum to clean their house. So while they were gone, I began vacuuming their house. I asked her before she left if she wanted me to do her son’s room. She said it was okay. When I got to her son’s room, I thought about the words on the song “We Are Standing on Holy Ground.” Not that it was Holy ground, but I was trying to be respectful while being in his room. I can’t really put it into words how I was feeling. On his desk were a lot of thing….his name tag from work, a graduation card, and graduation pictures.

They came back from seeing his truck. She said it was hard, but both she and her husband commented that seeing the truck helped them to understand things better. The door frame and windshield had bucked in near the headrest which caused their son’s fatal head and neck injuries.

I wanted to clean more, but I needed to help Aunt June. I told her to call me. I knew she probably wouldn’t. This thought got reconfirmed when I read a lady’s blog this week. The lady wrote about things not to say to someone who has lost a loved one. This lady knew this all too well because she also lost her son. She didn’t want people to say to call if they needed anything. What she meant by this statement was instead of leaving a message saying that they were here, for them to actually show up to the door and be here. She was saying to follow up with our words.

A special devotion

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 12:40:00 +0000

I went to Shari’s house to drop off my devotion book and a sympathy card.

“People at the funeral home told me many neat things I hadn't known about Nathan. Several people said Nathan was the only person who would speak to their child. Another person said he stopped to tutor a child while he was out riding his bike,” she said.

Nathan was a servant and wanted to avoid being in the spotlight. There were so many people at the visitation. It was supposed to be from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., but she left a few minutes before midnight.

Nathan's Funeral

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 10 Sep 2013 21:43:00 +0000

The next day was the funeral. I prayed for grace, peace, and mercy for the family and people to come to know Christ during the funeral. It was neat to see all the people there. Nathan’s life had touched many people. There were a lot of students from several schools. Several pastors spoke, including the children’s, middle school, high school, and senior pastor.

I did not know Nathan well, so my grief was different. My grief was for Shari and what she and her family were going through; it was real, nonetheless. It made me think of believers as the body of Christ.

“If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad” (1 Corinthians 12:26, NLT).

The visitation (part II)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 05 Sep 2013 11:09:00 +0000

Shari and her husband were standing at the head of Nathan’s casket.

“Can you imagine if that were your son?” A lady behind me asked.

“No, I can’t.”

As I approached Nathan's casket, I noticed he was wearing a trendy rubber bracelet imprinted with the words “CLASS OF 2013.”

I hugged Shari and gave her my condolences.

“Thank you for the flowers.”

“You are welcome.”

“I think of you when I look at them.”

“I woke at four in the morning ... “

My throat clamped shut like a vice grip, and I couldn’t utter another word. I put my hands together to symbolize prayer, began crying, and finally expressed what I was trying to say.

“I stayed awake until 5:00 a.m.”

“I am glad because that was when I needed prayer.”

We’ve been in the same Sunday school class for over ten years and have endured many rough times. I hugged her husband and spoke to him.

“I have something for you,” he said.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a mint. We laughed because I brought mints to Sunday school to share.

The Visitation (part I)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 03 Sep 2013 12:27:00 +0000

I haven’t gone to a service where the ushers sat you because so many people stood in line. As the line shortened, they moved a few rows of seated people to the line of people standing. The pews were almost full when we approached the front of the line. Many students from his school were there, as were many older people.

As we entered the room where the family was, our church’s high school minister stood in the doorway.

“Are you the official door greeter?” I asked.

He chuckled.

“I’ve never had a student die. It’s been hard.”

He went to the Nathan’s house and prayed with Nathan’s dad.

“I prayed three words and couldn’t pray anything else,” he said.

"I have been praying for the students coming to the service.”

"There are so many people praying.”

“I don’t know if I will be able to articulate what I needed to say during the service.”

“You will do fine.”

Struck a Chord

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 18:22:00 +0000

Nathan's death struck a chord. I guess it’s because Ashton is Nathan’s age, but I also grieved for them. I prayed for the Lord to give them grace, peace, and mercy.

One day, I woke around 4 a.m. and prayed for a long time. The kids who went to Nathan’s school came to mind. I prayed they would come to the funeral and hear about Christ and their need for a personal relationship with Jesus. We may never know why Nathan died. Could it have been for his classmates to hear about Jesus?

One night, a friend wrote a note to the family on Facebook. She said, “You raised a young man who completed his godly purpose on this earth in only 18 years. It takes so many of us so many more years to do the same.”

What a remarkable statement. It was a lovely tribute and made me cry.

kids who went to Nathan’s school came to mind. I prayed they would come to the funeral and hear about Christ and their need for a personal relationship with Jesus. We may never know why Nathan died, but maybe it was for his classmates to hear about Jesus.

What a remarkable statement. It was a lovely tribute and made me cry.

"Just like that (part II)"

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 27 Aug 2013 14:41:00 +0000

I arrived around 5:00 p.m. Shari stood in the front yard talking to our music minister. We embraced.

“Can you believe this is happening?”

Ishook my head. “No.”

Shari has been through a lot over the years. Her parents passed away—and her brother has prostate cancer. I was quiet and listened as she mentioned Nathan’s actions the day he died and the details of the wreck. Her strength was incredible.

We went inside and talked.

“I’m thankful for the family vacation we took last summer. We took a three-week trip and traveled in an RV. Nathan put together a DVD of their journey and added music.”

They played the DVD, so I watched part of it. I talked to family members before leaving.

It was 7:00 p.m. when I left. Paul had already eaten, so I got dinner for Ashton and myself. Of course, I wanted to eat with Ashton after a rough night. Still, I had difficulty sitting at the table without crying. I felt terrible because I could hug Ashton, but Shari could not hug Nathan. I went to the bathroom because I did not want to cry in front of him. I made it through dinner with a tear or two, but I don’t think he noticed.

I went to bed early to cry—I burst into tear and cried so hard my face hurt.

U We don’t know our last day on earth. Are we living as though we are? U

"Just Like That"

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 22 Aug 2013 18:58:00 +0000

The phrase "just like that" came to mind several times when my friend Shari’s 18-year-old son, Nathan, was killed in a wreck on August 11, 2013. Shari and her husband attend our Sunday School class. We usually sit together and enjoy talking before class.

I did not know him personally, but he was an intelligent young man—talented in technology. He had volunteered at church and various places with lights and sound. He was set to start college the following week.

He spent much of the day at church functions. That evening, after taking his girlfriend home, his truck veered into a ditch and hit a culvert. The vehicle overturned, and he suffered fatal injuries.

Paul told me about his death while I was driving to Aunt June’s. I was near Shari’s house, made a U-turn, and altered my plans. Aunt June reassured me that it would be okay.

Their home was flooded with people when I arrived, but Nathan’s parents were at the funeral home. I stayed briefly because it could be long before they came home—they had many decisions to make.

After leaving their house, I helped Aunt June by going to the grocery store. I stopped in my tracks while passing the flower section because the flowers were stunning. I bought a bouquet for Shari.

I prayed for the Lord to give them grace, peace, and mercy throughout the day. My prayers changed when I returned to their house that afternoon. I prayed for the Lord to grant me abundant strength.

My new “job”

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 20 Aug 2013 11:54:00 +0000

Before Uncle Jim passed, he and Aunt June chose to live in a pleasant two-bedroom apartment at a retirement facility. Since his death, Aunt June needed someone to help with her care because she has Parkinson’s disease.

Beth asked if I wanted to be a part-time caregiver for Aunt June. I felt this was what the Lord wanted me to do—I accepted the job.

Four ladies care for her—two caregiver aides, Evelyn, and me. I do whatever she needs. I take her to the grocery store, shopping, especially to get her free Clinique goodies. I take her dog, Ginger, to the vet, do her medicines, and do many other chores. I also wash, blow dry, and curl her hair. It is funny. I was a tomboy when I was younger, and I don’t think I’ve ever used a curling iron.

I enjoy taking care of Aunt June a lot. She is a wonderful Christian lady and a joy to be around. As with all families, there are issues to handle. We both had Type A personalities and butted heads occasionally.

She loves me to vacuum her apartment frequently. I hardly ever vacuum my house, so I didn’t understand why she wanted it done when I did so two days before. Sometimes, I did not have a great attitude.

Eventually, my care was no longer needed as Aunt June moved to North Carolina to be closer to Beth.

Afterword (part IV)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Wed, 03 Jul 2013 02:27:00 +0000

Mom loved Jesus with all of her heart. Aunt Julie said our Christian legacy goes back a long way. Our family legacy won’t get us into Heaven. Each person has to make a personal decision to ask Jesus to be their personal Lord and Savior.

We are that house. Christ needs to be our foundation because the winds will blow and beat upon our house. Life is tough. Therefore, we need Jesus so that when the storms of life come, we will stand firm.

U How will you do things differently? Have you learn from my mistakes? U

U If you have a family member, friend, or loved one who is dying, can you tell them the wonderful things you want to say? U

U If you are terminally ill or dying, will you let your family members tell you everything they wish? U

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and obeys me is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse, because it is built on rock. But anyone who hears my teaching and ignores it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will fall with a mighty crash” (Matthew 7:24, NLT).

“Let this be recorded for future generations, so that a people not yet born will praise the LORD” (Psalm 102:18, NLT).

Afterword (part III)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 27 Jun 2013 20:26:00 +0000

I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for the real hard times I described in the chapter “Friday Night.” As difficult as the night was, at least she was alive and still with me.

Lean on God for your strength and ask Him to help you through and give you peace. Cherish the moments, as hard as they are, while your loved one is still here.

If you are reading this book because you have a loved one or friend who is terminally ill, I grieve for you. I got teary-eyed writing that sentence. What you are going through is hard, and I don’t have the answers; we have only trod the same path. The one person who does have all the answers is Jesus.

Be comforted by the scriptures, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13, NLT). “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV).

Tonight, I feel like Mary, Jesus’ mother, because I may be experiencing the same feelings Mary had. Why did God choose me? I am an ordinary girl. Can I do what You want me to accomplish? How will I get it done? What will people think?

I am honored—honored is not a strong enough word to describe the feelings I have tonight. What an indescribable feeling I’ve never had before. I am in awe of how God would choose me to accomplish His excellent work.

Afterword (part II)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 12:54:00 +0000

Jennifer mailed Mom a card a few days before she died. The card arrived after Mom passed away. In the card, Jennifer stated, “She was the best mom, and in her constant thoughts.” She was thankful for Mom and wanted to tell her again.

She said Mom was an awesome example seen by others. Jennifer’s friend mentioned that our family has been an inspiration to her, with Mom leading the pack.

These thoughts were important for Jennifer to tell Mom.

The last time Jennifer called, Mom struggled to talk because she was dehydrated. It was awkward because Jennifer had to carry the conversation. She did not get to tell Mom all the things she wanted to. Jennifer stayed up with Mom most of the night—it was difficult to say the least.

Afterword (part I)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 20 Jun 2013 12:23:00 +0000

Only God knows the true intent of this book. Early on, I felt bombarded through sermons as though Jesus was speaking to me about publishing this book. In one sermon I heard, Jesus got in Simon Peter’s boat and pushed the boat into the water. Jesus told Peter to let down his nets after he fished all night and did not catch anything. Peter responded, “But because you say so, I will let down the nets” (Luke 5:5, NIV). He cast his nets, which were so full of fish, the nets were breaking. Another boat came—they filled both boats and they started sinking.

This book was written because I obeyed the Lord.

Because You say so, Lord, I will.

God has accomplished His will in ways I’ll never know.

It was not the Lord’s will to physically heal Mom, so I was with my journal not knowing what to do. I asked my Sunday school class, the faculty, staff, and students to pray for the Lord’s wisdom.

The answer has been clear. Walk by Faith Through Death: Tackling the Tough Questions Concerning Death and Terminal Illness was written for His honor and glory and to bring others to know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. The book will minister to people going through the death of a friend, loved one, or someone with a terminal illness.

I have tried not to mask specific issues. I wanted you to see the whole picture. If I our hid problems, you would not glean helpful information.

I have omitted specific comments made by family members to avoid upsetting them. I did not want to step on anyone’s toes. All family members aren’t mentioned by name because there are too many names for you to remember. I have tried to be careful about what information should be included and removed what was unnecessary.

The final chapter

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 12:21:00 +0000

Writing and editing this book was difficult, as it brought many tears and sad moments because I had to relive her death over and over again. During her illness, I had to walk by faith and depend on the Lord to see me through. I rejoice because Momma is in Heaven, and hopefully, this book has helped you.

The one thing that is forever etched on my mind is my favorite verse: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28, NLT). This verse has helped me through difficult times, reminding me God is still in control and loves us.

I prayed and asked the Lord to write every word He wanted in this book and remove every word He didn’t want. Stories in the Face of Death: Confronting 264 Challenging Questions Surrounding Death and Terminal Illness is His book. He placed this message on my heart.

I’ve told my sisters and friends I am just a P.E. teacher—writing a book is out of the box.

The book Can One Person Make A Difference? states, “When God uses individuals, He doesn’t leave them alone to perform their difficult tasks. He’s the strength in their arms and the voice on their lips. If God is in it, anything is possible!”

Satan tries to convince me I can’t do anything. He has harassed the dickens out of me and would love that I not do the Lord’s will, but my God is greater.

I am honored the Lord chosen me to do this work, and I am excited about what He will do.

Momma was a wonderful person. Even though she isn’t here, she lives on in my family’s memories and hearts. She did leave the house . . . to go to Heaven. I can’t imagine how big her smile is now.

As I envision Mom in Heaven, I wonder what the Lord assigned her to do. Maybe your holding your brother’s hand as you walk the streets of gold or you’re playing tag with the children in the open fields—probably both and more. Maybe you’re among the kids playing with shaving cream? Perhaps you have the title of Youth Director. Whatever it is, she will be serving others.

The same God who walked with me by faith is the same God who will walk with you too. He will see you through. Many blessings! ~ Judy

U WHAT IS YOUR STORY OF HIS GLORY? U

U CAN YOU WALK BY FAITH? U

“But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God” (Acts 20:24, NLT).

Dad the caregiver

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 12:20:00 +0000

I asked Dad what special things he did for Mom while she was sick. These are the answers he gave:

Mom enjoyed going in her wheelchair to the Coast Guard Station at the beach and sitting on the end of the wooden ramp. She enjoyed watching the tide come in and out. Mom enjoyed eating breakfast in a restaurant at the pier—she would sneak biscuits out of the restaurant to feed the seagulls.

Mom liked to go to the grocery store because she enjoyed seeing her friends—it was a social gathering.

She enjoyed sitting on the back patio, watching the bird feeder, and listening to the chimes.

They drove near the base of one of the bridges and sat in the car at the pilot boat dock so she could look out. It is beautiful there. Pelicans and seagulls sit atop the old wooden pylons, where the sun sets behind them.

On one of the last trips to the Mayo Clinic, instead of taking I-95 home, they took A1A along the Coastal Highway. They also rode on the car ferry. They went to Fernandina and ate at Spanky’s Restaurant on the water's marsh side and sat on the deck for a long time.

She loved watching the squirrels eat the sunflower seeds he placed on the window seal by her bed.

Thank you, Dad, for all the sacrifices you made and for the care you provided for Mom.

U What can you do for your loved one that they can no longer do? U

Comments from Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 13:37:00 +0000

“Brenda was so helpful. She was an angel. She made things so much easier. Elaine was so comfortable around her. She looked after her so well.”

“Elaine was happy until the day she died. We thought she was going to last a long, long time.

“She started feeling a lot better with the feeding tube. She went down so fast—we did not have a clue. We were planning on things months down the road.”

“She had been worried about the girls (my sisters and me) for a long time, getting the things all sorted out. I was doing what she wanted to do.”

“She wanted to die at the hospice place. They would take her there as things got worse. If she had known she was dying, she would have said something. She did not want to put a stigma on the house . . . this is where she died. She is buried out yonder because she did not want us to visit her grave all the time.”

“I wish she had a dog. I think having a dog would have been comforting to her.” He thought people with terminal illnesses should have dogs because they would comfort them.

One question I did not ask: What were your thoughts as you watched your bride waste away?

The things I learned from Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 06 Jun 2013 12:41:00 +0000

I sat with Dad and Claudia in the bedroom where Momma died to glean valuable information that I could pass on to you. It would be difficult for Dad to discuss these issues, but I knew I should.

U He stressed you should not put something off, whether it be discussions, decisions, or significant things.

U Don’t put faith in the doctor’s time frame. They don’t know. God is the only one who truly knows. Mom died twelve days after she got her feeding tube.

U He mentioned calling the Social Security office to claim a disability, especially with Mom having ALS. It took two to three months to get her first check. She only got one disability check even though she could not work for a long time. From her diagnosis to her death, it was only about nine months. Search on the web under Social Security disability.

U The ALS Association of Georgia had good resources and information.

U Dad got a power of attorney because Mom couldn’t sign her name. His financial advisor suggested they get joint accounts because it makes it more manageable.

U Set your investments as (Payable On Death). A POD is any account, investment, etc., given to a specified person when you die. You don’t want to go through a trustee or a banker to disburse money.

U What have you learned from reading this book? U

Uncle Jim’s funeral (part V)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Tue, 04 Jun 2013 21:03:00 +0000

The burial took place the morning before the memorial service, and we intentionally we arrived early.

“We are the first ones here,” Lauren said.

“I wanted to arrive first so we could put the flowers out before they came.”

I am glad we came early, as an unsightly blue tarp covered the hole, with bricks around its corners. I removed it and replaced it with beautiful white flowers.

When the family arrived, I got the urn out.

“Do you want me to put the urn in the hole or set it at the top of the hole?” I asked Kimberly.

“I haven’t thought about it.”

I placed the urn in the hole and would get it out if Aunt June wanted.

“No one is crying,” Kimberly said.

“I'm trying to be strong for y'all.”

“I've been crying a lot.”

It's okay for you to feel that way. You need to express your emotions.”

Kimberly placed a gorgeous wreath made of magnolia leaves by the small hole in the ground. The service was simple—the way Uncle Jim would have wanted. His family loved to sing, so of course, we sang. Each person had the opportunity to toss dirt in the hole or use the shovel to cover the urn. His grandson helped fill the hole, too. After the service, we went into the fellowship hall, where coffee and hot chocolate were available to warm us on a cold day.

After the burial, we visited Uncle Jim's sister's old house. A ginormous magnolia tree towered in the front yard where both young and old kids climbed its branches. Since no one currently occupied the home, the owners allowed us to visit inside. Several family members shared fond childhood memories of visiting her home and climbing her tree.

The members of their church prepared a wonderful meal for the family before the memorial service. The service itself was exceptional—it celebrated Uncle Jim's life. Music filled the air, and there was aa opportunity for people to stand and share a story about him. After the funeral, the reception took place in the fellowship hall. A video displayed photos of Jim, along with a clip of him singing in a quartet.

U How can you be a servant to those in need? U

U What small details can you think of to help the grieving family? U

U Have you considered how to minister to the grieving family? U

Uncle Jim’s funeral (part IV)

noreply@blogger.com (Judy Royal Glenn) — Thu, 30 May 2013 11:51:00 +0000

We discussed the details at the funeral home. Evelyn brought a list of notes my father-in-law, Tom, had written to include in the obituary.

Tom is a veteran who served as a tank commander in Korea. He loves and esteems all people, whether they were janitors or held lofty positions. He answers to Papa by the grands.

Uncle Jim’s family decided to conduct the graveside funeral themselves in Ila, Georgia, with only family and close friends in attendance. Tom will dig a small hole for the urn the day before.

The memorial service will take place at his church after the burial, followed by a reception for friends in the fellowship hall. Instead of bringing flowers, people can donate to his church, Chapelwood United Methodist Church.

I am unsure whether to give flowers or donate to the church, as they requested. Kimberly wanted all white flowers, so I got a lovely bouquet to take to the burial site before anyone arrived. It will be nice for the family to see flowers when they arrive.

We went to Evelyn's for dinner, and I took the flowers for everyone to enjoy.