Walking Suburbia

Finding Lana

2010-02-12T07:26:00.000-08:00

Well friends,
First let me apologize for being absent for so long and leaving you hanging on the last post "Huge Development in My Search for MY Birth Mother." The fact is I FOUND HER! I found her Jan. 23 and a DNA test delivered the absolute stamp of validation on Feb. 8, yes just this past Monday!

Of course, it has been a shock -- an emotional whirlwind that has kept my blog at bay. To personally write well I need a holistic view of the story I am going to share. I don't write easily "from the trenches." And I know this wild story will and must be told in a series of "chapters". There are far too many characters, back stories, secondary story lines to include. Can you tell I am still putting it off?

Truly I am not sure where to begin. This has been a remarkable new year. As you recall in my Forty and Flatulent post my number one priority - yes listed under "1." - was: "This year what can readers of this blog expect?... 1. The search for Diane begins. My birth mother is probably in her 60's right about now - I begin with an application to Find My Family on NBC this month.

WOW! That first goal took only 23 days? THIS IS GOING TO BE A GREAT YEAR! But seriously. Talk about the law of attraction! Little did I know what I would set into motion with those words. Again I quote from one of my favorites by Goethe:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

I love that last sentence "all manner of unforeseen incidents" - this part is the key if you ask me.

Yes I will get to the "How in world did you find her part." But I can't impress enough that this truth came to me because I asked the universe for it, because I believed it was possible, because I asked my personal angels for help and because I did my part too - I acted to create my reality and fulfill my dreams. I know it is not all that easy for everyone, and some people have searched for years. But I believe we only get what we want when the time is right and when our own heads and hearts are truly in line with what we seek. Ok - enough arm chair spirituality! Commit, pray and act - enough said!

However I branched into the spiritual part of it for a reason. Truly this whole reunion story starts Jan. 18, 2009 with a simple prayer to my recently deceased adoptive mother on the eve of her first birthday after she left this world.

"Mommy please give me a dream tonight that will reassure me you are with me in spirit and looking over my life."

I woke the next day remembering a vivid dream. It was not about my dear adoptive mom, but it was a dream with a person and a topic about which I had never dreamed before. In the dream I found my birth mother and her name was Lauren and not Diane -(later I would learn her name was Lana); and she was very happy I had found her. I also saw I had at least one brother - I saw him riding a four wheeler in the country in my dream. Most importantly, in the dream I was holding a black and white picture of her and telling her I found her because I had found a photo that looked just like me.

I awoke and immediately knew this dream was a sign from my adoptive mother that she had heard my prayer -- this was a dream that did stand out and did let me know she was listening. What I did not connect to the dream was that it was also a message that I would find my birth mother and that obviously my dear Mommy intended to help.

One year later on Jan 19, the eve of Mommy's second birthday off this earth, I sat at my computer and opened an email from a Search Angel (my volunteer adoption reunion researcher). The email from my Search Angel noted the name Lana Carol Williams who married a Reedy in California in Dec. of 1971. It was a long shot that Lana would be from Texas and marry in CA and then come back to Texas, but I searched her name in Google "Lana Carol Williams Reedy" anyway; and up popped a link to the Houston, Texas MB Smiley High School Class of 1967 reunion web page. I found the Senior Photos page and scrolled down quickly to the W's. Holding up a piece of paper to the monitor, I covered the student names on the left side of the screen. I wanted to recognize her, not the name; and there, almost at the very bottom of the page I saw myself.

There it was a black and white photo of a young woman who looked remarkably like me! I did not recall in this moment the dream I had asked for on this very night exactly a year before, but my body tingled with knowing. I saw it, my eyes and heart saw it, but my brain had spent 40 years building logical barriers of stern protection. My brain often fought my heart in grocery stores, at concerts, behind gas pumps. So many times over the years I thought I saw my face on the countenance of some woman old and pretty enough to be my mom. But my brain told me no, don't ask this total stranger that bizarre question. I only listened sometimes.

But here it was this picture. I would not connect the picture to the dream, which came exactly a year before to the day, until I sat down to Journal to my mother on the second anniversary of her post-life birthday. My entry was to tell her the good news about the lead. And as I wrote, that little voice in my head said 'read what you wrote to her last year'. So, I set about to find my prior year's entry in my journal and there it was. Jan. 19, a mention of the dream about finding my birth mother through a photo! I also journaled about the dream under my notes section on Facebook "Pychic Coinkidinks" (see the entry dated Jan. 18, 2009).

So there you have it! It was from here that I posted the blog entry "A Huge Development in My Search for My Birthmother" What has transpired between that moment and this one will be written here in time via my creative bursts.

If you have read the prior blog you have already read the letter I mailed to Lana Jan. 21. Perhaps next I will invite Lana to write about the Friday morning in her kitchen when her husband handed her a small cream colored envelope with a golden hummingbird seal on the back. I have not yet told Lana I sent her this letter on the Thank You stationary I sent out after my Mommy's memorial. The cards purchased to say 'thank you and goodbye' on behalf of my mother's passing, would now also say 'Thank You' from her and mark a new beginning.

A huge development in my search for my birth mother!

2010-01-19T08:23:00.000-08:00

Well friends, I may not need my application to Find My Family at all. I have been in contact with an Adoption Search Angel. This angel is a kind person named Betsi who volunteers her time searching to bring birth mothers and their children back together. Betsi helped me find one Lana Carol Williams who was living in Texas and near Houston at the time of my birth. This Lana still lives in the same area today. I found her picture on a class reunion website. Since I don't know how to post pictures to this blog, you can check out her picture on my Facebook page, or you can see it here on her class reunion page. You will want to scroll to the bottom (look for Lana Williams) I would love to hear if folks see a resemblance.

Anyway, I have sent her an email proposing the question "Are you my birth mother?" What a strange and bizarre letter to write. I had imagined writing this letter hundreds of times. As I sat down to write it last night, I realized the power the words carried. I tried to be gracious and careful and not too direct. Here it is:

Dear Mrs. Reedy,
I apologize if this email catches you off guard. I am following up on research I am doing in a search for my birth mother. I believe her name was Lana C. Williams. I am aware that is your maiden name. I found it through searching marriage records and that is how I found you - ( I saw that a Lana C. Williams married a man named Reedy. I searched on your married name and found that you did live in the Houston area at the time of my birth and that you still do today. It is amazing what you can find online.

I was born in early Jan of 1970 in Harris County - the name Lana Carol Williams is listed as the mother of only one female infant of born at the time and place of my birth. I found your high school picture from MB Smiley HighSchool and many of my friends and family believe we share a very strong resemblance. The high school reunion page is also how I got this email address.

I have more exact details about my birth, that we can use to confirm a match, but I will withhold them for now until it turns out that in contacting you I have possibly contacted my birth mother.

If you do believe you are my birth mother, I want you to know that I have always understood that your choice was for the best (regardless of the reason). Please know I have always wished you to be at peace with your decision. I am who I am today because of your choice, and I love who I am; so all is as it should be! I have thought of you on every birthday and with every joyous moment in my life.

If we are a match, I hope you would want to reconnect and will contact me as soon as possible. If for some reason you would not. Please just let me know the truth so that I can stop searching.

Sincerely and anxiously awaiting your response, please feel free to call anytime day or night.

Patricia Ann Meyer-McDonald
--
I am of course waiting on pins and needles. I will mail her the letter her as well. I actually have her phone number, but I don't want to take her that much by surprise. She may need to sit with it for a while before responding.

Now on the other hand, if this lead turns out a dud, I am still working on my application for Find My Family and have reworked the About Me section. I have an ex-network producer friend who instructed me that my story needs more intrigue and less of me spelling out every little detail. The goal is to peak producers' interest. So here is the revised About Me section, just in case I need to send in my application:

This past January 5, 2010 marks 40 years of life lived with a piece missing. This piece resides with my birth mother. I was told I was adopted before I could even understand it, and I lived 12 years with no questions, no concerns, accepting of my happy life and good fortune. Then at 12, when I needed a social security number for a school event, I was met by my birth mother with a dark and difficult secret. “We never received your birth certificate,” my adoptive mother explained carefully. “You don’t exist, you have lived 12 years belonging to no one,” is what I heard.

In the years since, I’ve learned my story began over a shampoo at a tiny Texas beauty salon. Kay the shampoo girl heard all about the unwed-mothers-to-be from Mrs. Howell who just loved to chat her way through a good wash and rinse. Mrs. Howell was the wife of Attorney William (Bill Howell) who represented these young ladies and helped place their babies in good quality homes. In was in 1969 that it occurred to Kay to tell the good Mrs. Howell about Cousin Jacqui (my mother). “My cousin Jacqui, is looking to adopt!” And from there over a head of bubbles, my fate was rinsed, wrapped and set to dry!

When I asked my mother why I didn’t have a birth certificate, she explained “The attorney said if we did not pay him more, we would not receive the papers.” “Why not call the police?” I asked. “By the time we had you home, we could not imagine losing you,” she answered. “So we dropped it and the problem and attorney went away.”

But the problem was back. I was not legal and my birth name was just a name pulled out of thin air, no legal document existed to make me real. But there was more. “We also,” she spoke carefully, “well we are not sure if you were born on the 5th or the 6th of January.” The confession twisted my gut and distorted my fragile 12- year-old sense of self. The question“Where did I come from, and what is my story?” seemed to take on a whole new level of mystery.

At 18 and legal age to look into things myself, I learned even more troubling news. Not only did my adoptive parents not receive a birth certificate, their names did not connect to any adoption, nor did my own. It was a though no adoption ever took place. It seems I was a cash deal!

Snippets from My Application to ABC's Find My Family - ISO My Birthmother

2010-01-12T13:18:00.000-08:00

Below are snippets from the very long application to ABC's Find My Family - I am hoping they will choose my case and help me find my birth mother!

ABOUT ME:
As of this January 5, 2010 I have lived 40 years with a piece missing. This piece lives with my birth mother. At just five-days old and without a family to call my own, I was fatefully placed into the arms of two amazing people who loved me boundlessly. "You are so loved because you are so wanted!" my Adoptive Mother always told me. She explained that I was also "so loved" by my Birth Mother that she put aside all the desire in her heart to keep me and instead let my Mommy raise me for her "so I would have the best life possible."

And WOW did I! My adoptive parents sacrificed to educate me in private school, supported my pre-teen love of acting and singing, and stood by me when (at 19) I too became pregnant. I decided that I could not make the same difficult sacrifice as my own birth mother; I could not give my baby up for adoption. It might have been a selfish decision, as I was truly unprepared to be a mother. Yet I knew my heart could not withstand the double loss. I could not live my life longing for both my birth mother and my birth daughter. The thought of that was unfathomable.

Today I know I made the right decision for me; still I wish I could have saved my child the difficulty of growing up with a single mother. And I am awed by those who are able to let their children go “to find better lives”. Still I cannot describe the connection I find in my own daughter's eyes, my eyes; her smile that matches my own; she is my one true living relative. Hers is the face I look into and see my own, those mannerisms we share, and those habits we just can't break no matter how hard we try. The loss of this precious connection that binds mother and daughter is the loss endured in the lives of those separated by adoption.

The day they put my daughter in my arms, I met my first living relative, and I felt so much less alone. Yet a part of me (the part that is the daughter and not the mother) still stands alone in my continued search to close the familial circle. Today I am happily married; I obtained a college degree in Journalism and work in the world of online media and social networking. My daughter is now 20 years old, and I am step mom to an 11 year old son. I enjoy creative writing, walking, yoga, cooking. I lost my adoptive father in 1996 and my adoptive mother September 11 of 2008. I decided to start my search this year on my 40th birthday. My birth mother would be somewhere between 57 and 63ish probably.

HOW WILL FINDING YOUR RELATIVE CHANGE YOUR LIFE?
I have long felt that it is my obligation to reach out to find my birth mother. My core longs to find her, and if she wants to find me as badly as I want to find her, then I owe it to her to search as hard as I can, especially if she is searching diligently as well. She did the hardest part (letting me go). Doing my part of the reconnecting work is the least I can do. Finding her would change my life in possibly two ways. If she was glad to be found, this could mean that my family would grow, I would feel complete and our hearts could stop longing, our eyes could stop searching crowds, our ears could stop searching names.

If she was NOT happy to be found and wanted to leave the past in the past, YES it would hurt. But even from here I could begin to heal. I could stop picking at the primal wound so to speak. I would know that "she" is not still out there searching for me, and I too could stop searching. Knowing I found her, even if she did not want to connect, would allow me to begin to heal and obtain closure. Until then, we adoptees walk around with our invisible antennae up constantly searching faces in the crowd and seeking out that secret information to be delivered from the universe.

WHY IS IT URGENT FOR YOU TO FIND THEM NOW? (Please be detailed)
It is only urgent to find her (and/or my birth father/family) in that the longer I wait the fewer years we will have together should they want to reconnect. It is urgent also because after 40 years I want to have peace around this no matter which way it goes. I want to lower my adoptee antennae.

IF YOU SAW HIM/HER AGAIN, WHAT IS IT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY?
I have always understood your choice was for the best (regardless of the reason), I have always loved you, and I have always prayed for you to be at peace with your decision. I would not change anything in any way as I cannot imagine never having loved my adoptive parents and I am who I am today because of your choice, and I love who I am so all is as it should be! I have thought of you on every birthday and with every joyous moment in my life.

PLEASE CHOOSE ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY AND EXPLAIN:
GENUINE - What you see is what you get with me. I don't hide behind false pretenses, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I am honest and kind and supportive. I don't hold grudges or measure things or search for my fair share. I believe that all things good and bad in our lives happen for a reason. I believe life is a continuous learning experience. There are no mistakes there are only tough lessons. I am extremely forgiving and tend to think more about others than myself. I am extremely loyal, somewhat impulsive, trusting and trustworthy....gee I think I might blush now!

My favorite quote of all time is by Goethe and I think this has special relevance for those searching for loved ones:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. –Goethe

WHAT ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF IN YOUR LIFE?
My dedication to raising my daughter and caring for my adoptive mother as a single mom. I entered college when my daughter was 5 and graduated from the University of Texas when she was 10. My birth father died two years before I graduated leaving my adoptive mother with no financial support (she had never worked). I brought her to live with me and my daughter in my college dorm. We worked together to raise my daughter. My mother had heart and lung problems. I supported her and raised my daughter for the next 10 years. I got married in 2006 and then got my adoptive mother her own apartment where I visited her at least three times a week. It was a hard journey at times for us all, but I feel it was a tremendous time of personal growth and sharing of love. Enduring this difficult time created an amazing bond between the three of us. That is the thing I am most proud of!

WHY DO YOU FEEL YOUR STORY SHOULD BE CHOSEN TO BE ON OUR SHOW?
Well, There are probably many many people who feel that they do not have enough information to submit to your show. I admit I don't have much for you to go on! So if you could crack this case then it might show others to NEVER NEVER GIVE UP. I also feel that my extreme love for my adoptive family could demonstrate to birth parents that may be watching that adoptees DO find wonderful homes, ARE loved beyond words, and can live happy lives. My life also is a great example of how although my adoptive life was not ideal (we were not well-off, my adoptive father was obese, I ended up being a teen parent myself, my adoptive mother and I struggled to get by at times) I NEVER resented the family or situation I was adopted into. I think this is a very important message for birth parents to hear. The adoptive parents don't have to be perfect people with perfect lives, many many adoptees would not trade their adoptive lives for any other destiny and are very thankful for the circumstances that created who they are today!

Forty and Flatulent -- Uh... I Meant Fabulous ... I Swear!

2010-01-04T10:21:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Happy New Decade! and Happy 40th Birthday to me!

Born in 1970, every ten years I am privy to entering a new decade of life as society enters a new decade as well. I like the way it works! I can think of the 80's as my Terrorizing Teens, the 90's as my Trendy Twenties, the 2001-2010 my Trepidatious Thirties. And now here comes the 2010-2020 - my Fast and Furious Forties are here!

These next ten years will of course fly by. Prior experience seems to prove this theory. I would be lying if I say I am not feeling some weirdness about the big FOUR O. Throw in some regret too of course, you can't live 40 years without making some major F-ups; but mostly I feel excited. I hear my mother's words, "My forties were the best years of my life, I had a blast!" Thus, I plan to take it slow as it will go and ennnnjoyyyyy the ride.

This milestone, despite its bad reputation, has not thunked me on the head like a random bolder, "THUD, your life is over...." Instead it seems to have tip toed into my happy place, where it is twinkling tiny sparks that feel like permission to fully LIVE! To stop waiting, to jump more and calculate less. Nice.

I remember turning 30 and feeling an intense sense of pressure 'THIS is the decade I have to prove myself, THIS is the decade where I make it or break it.' Oh the pressure I put on myself to become somebody my daughter and my family and myself would be proud of. How many times have I said over the last 20 years, 'I don't want to wake up at 40 and realize x.....or not be x....or not have x.'

Suddenly here I am, and so far I don't even feel the need to measure up to my younger self's expectations. 'Get over yourself, pluheeese....' I tell her. 'See we are good, better than good!'

No, I am not rich yet! Yes, I am not in perfect shape (but hey I did not fully appreciate THAT when I had it). But wow, I am actually not afraid to fail, and not on a mission to "become". It's very freeing. I kinda just feel like hanging out and puttering (wow that sounds old)! Oh well, I guess that's part of it.

This year what can readers of this blog expect? Observation, self-improvement, a few goals to go on about. Details? You want details ok...but let's keep it short:

1. The search for Diane begins. My birth mother is probably in her 60's right about now - I begin with an application to Find My Family on NBC this month.

2. Links to new stories in my portfolio at www.Writing.com, discussions on my favorite books, films, recipes, products etc - Reports on anything that keeps me sexy, sane and centered.

3. Health and Humility - More musings from Training with Trainer Dan - It seems learning how to run and completing a Half-Marathon and another 3-Day are in my future this year!

4. This year begins a year of no dairy and a genetic test to determine my risk for 100 different diseases - the BRAC breast cancer gene among them - a genetic home test by www.pathways.com promises to return to me a list of what I will most likely take me out of this world. Thus I will also learn everything I need to watch out for in the next 40 years, JOY! You will be hearing more about this interesting and important test very soon. I send in my sample tomorrow!

5. Sharing Motherhood - The continued saga of unraveling the secrets of "being there" for my twenty something daughter without "telling her how to live her life." Plus extras on step-parenting my pre-teen son.

6. Under the covers reporting: Middle Aged Married Life (Can it be any worse than it sounds? and "Is Sex in her 40's Really the Best of a Woman's Life?

7. And of course - No one will get away from my jib and jab observations about love, career, life and circumstance while mindlessly walking suburbia.

I guess in honor the decade I should have three more bullets here (will have to get back to you on this one).

Happy B-Day me! And thanks for following!

Patricia

Getting Situated

2009-12-28T20:02:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! I just moved my blog entries to Blogger. I originally posted on the Breast Cancer 3-Day site. Up until now my blogs have been primarily about training to prepare for the 3-day 60 mile walk. Well that is over and I am on to new adventures for 2010. Expect to read all about them here from now on. If you are following me on Facebook Networked Blogs please take time to visit my profile page on Blogger and follow me there as well.

Hope everyone has a joyous and prosperous new year!

Final Report on My 3-Day Journey

2009-12-28T13:06:00.001-08:00

I should not be surprised that I had no idea of what I was getting myself into when I decided to sign up for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day 60 Mile Walk for a Cure. I often get myself into things that I am unsure of and under-educated about; yet, I simply follow my gut on the major stuff and save stressing out for all the insignificant little things. This journey was no exception. I did not know how I would get myself literally from ZERO TO 60 in six months, but I knew I would somehow. I can hear my mother bragging now, “Once my baby puts her mind to something, there is no stopping her!”

And I suppose that is why I am proud to announce that six months, 300 training miles and 60 3-Day miles later, I DID IT! Well it was actually 50 3-Day miles, due to some logistical issues but hey close enough! I know I could have done the extra 10, had I not let strategy and pride get in my way… But more on that later!

I was first inspired to walk this past May, when I learned my mother-in-law, Joan, was diagnosed with breast cancer. I walked for her and for dozens of family members and friends affected by the disease. Learning 1 in 8 women will fight this fight, I was shocked and even more determined to make a difference. I invited my step-son’s mom Jamie to join me. Her mother and grandmother also had the disease, her grandmother passed from it, and therefore she is much more likely to develop it as well.

Jamie and I set out Thursday evening from Austin and arrived in Dallas around 10 pm. We chose a hotel that provided a shuttle to the event and rose at 4 am to board the shuttle to the opening. We arrived at the ceremony with the sunrise. We loaded our duffle bags onto the trucks that would take our gear to the campsite and then wandered around getting our very virgin bearings. I stood shivery and sleepy eyed gazing in amazement at the sheer number of walkers, and at the outrageous costumes.

We were engulfed in a sea of pink, in sequins and feather boas and cheap hot pink sunglasses and costume jewelry. I thought of a time when this sort of “girl stuff” was totally dorky and off-putting to me. I once did not enjoy female bonding and found most women irritating as hell. I realized I must have matured or become one of those dorky girly girl-power 40 something gals, cause I was now eating it up! I sang “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!” and “I Will Survive” and wished I had not left my feather boa in my camping bag! I did let a nice lady put a breast cancer ribbon sticker on my face. YES there were STICKERS there too! AND CANDY!!! YAY

From there the day was a blur of joy! The first day, we walked about 20 miles from Plano to Addison and were met by entire elementary schools lined up to give us high fives. We were greeted by new families on blankets with pink little babies in pink little outfits. The second day, we were waved at silently by old men in lawn chairs holding their pictures of their very special and very absent gals “You go girls, Go and find a cure!” The third day, we walked with a grandmother and granddaughter team (enough said) and saw a small girl in her front yard holding a sign that read, “Thank you for walking for my teacher!”

Many times on the walk we passed the widower proudly wearing a picture of his smiling angel on his back…and the mom with her angel immortalized on her t-shirt vowing to win the fight for all our daughters…everyone…had a story…3000 stories to see and hear on the walk.

No where during the event was I was fighting to walk another mile, not for a minute of it. I was fighting back tears most of the time. Feeling my heart burst with each cheering station we passed. Thousands came out to support us, many returning all three days! Men in pink, wearing pink bras, spray painting their dogs! There were folks to greet us with water and candy and sunscreen and shots of espresso, and HUGS! And I could go on and on.

This experience was beyond fun, it was life changing. It was a humbling reminder to value our gifts, our loved ones. It reminded me of how truly generous and loving and giving our fellow man can be. That people are good when we come together for a cause. Not so good when we come together to shop for groceries or drive to work, but we are GREAT when we want to be. The walks truly flew by, and I came away feeling like I wanted to go back in slow motion just to soak everything in one more time.

I am proud to say I did not get one blister! I cannot say the same for Jamie, who unfortunately earned gigantic ones on almost every toe. I have no idea how she walked. I know I could not have handled the pain, and knowing so was probably why I was fanatical during training about breaking in shoes, doing all my training miles and changing socks like clockwork. Jamie, who in all other regards is in phenomenal shape, had not put in as many training miles to condition her feet and break in her shoes. I cannot stress this enough to anyone thinking of doing this walk.

However it was not just 6 months of training and the wonderful distraction of supporters that made this all possible, it was truly the volunteers, the special magic that kept us all organized and hydrated and stretched and bandaged and moving! We had rest stops with port a potties, food and drink and sports medicine every three to five miles. We had chiropractors available at lunchtime. We had a hot breakfast and hot dinner (and it tasted great). We had hot showers! We had a disco night on night two (yes after mile 40 and we still wanted to dance)! We had massage chairs and massages available. We had phone charges and computers to email home. We had everything you could imagine needing and then some. And we had thousands of pink tents to boot!! And this is why it seemed so easy to wake up at 5 am on Day Three and believe we had another 15 miles left in us!

Now I mentioned earlier that I was short by 10 miles. And how I wish I could go back and claim them. Funny, I started the walk saying 10 a day would be outstanding, and I would feel I met my personal goal if I only walked 30 of the 60. By end of Day 1, I was accepting none less than everything I had in me at 60 if at all possible. So how did I lose 10 miles? Well at opening ceremony we ended up at the back of the holding pen, which as a novice walker you do not realize puts you at the back of the pack. Now, I did not train for 6 months to walk at the back of the pack, and this Jamie agreed was less than acceptable. We were missing all the fun and excitement up ahead. Who wants to bring up the back? Especially on Day 1? Yes, I did mention PRIDE was involved didn’t I. This would allow us to be one of the first groups to leave and thus we would be in our “proper place” among the middle of the pack walkers. It would also allow Jamie to get a growing blister treated before a long line gathered at medical. So with 8 miles down and 4 to go we decided to hop on a Sweep Bus and get to lunch before almost everyone else. So this we did. However it was here that I discovered there were chiropractors at lunch, and anyone who knows me knows I cannot pass up a free adjustment. This took longer than expected and thus we did not leave ahead of the pack as planned, and thus four good miles were uh.. disposed of. Darn… now on to the next 3 mile deficit.

This deficit came on Day Two – I was walking along and felt a bit of a twinge in my lower back, again this was just before lunch. I had left Jamie at the last pit stop so she could get her blisters looked at, and she said she would take the bus to lunch, so I knew she would be waiting for me at lunch. Now I thought of walking very slowly and not sacrificing any miles, but the thought again of the chance to leave lunch ahead of everyone else prodded me to jump on that bus to get to lunch, get adjusted and get ahead of the pack. So I did and this time, we did pretty good! We got out of lunch well before the last walkers and enjoyed the remainder of the day stress free in the middle of the pack! Yay!

Day three however, due to Jamie’s blister care and my tight calf muscles, we were pretty much pulling up the rear again. Did we finally succumb to our latent station on the walk? No! We made a game of playing catch up between pit stops! We would be last to leave, walk as fast as we could to the next pit stop (passing literally hundreds of walkers) and then take an extra long pit stop break. I am sure we gained a reputation as those Fast Walking Girls who keep passing people for no good reason. It was fun, and a bit show-offy I admit, but it made the last 15 miles go by in a flash.

In truth we became motivated to walk super fast upon learning that Jim and Sam and Joan and friend Angleo and his daughter were about 5 miles away at the next and final cheering station. Thus, we were two broads on a mission! The faster we got there, the longer we had to visit. So we hauled pink booty through the very prestigious Highland Park and around and down Turtle Creek, and to up Market Street where we were finally saw Joan! She walked with us for a block or so and folks kept high-fiving her and congratulating her for walking! She loved it and we loved it! We met up with the others and gave everyone pins we had purchased on the way, including a 1-year survivor pin for Joan. I pinned it on her and told her I had no doubt she would earn it!

We said our goodbyes and continued our walk to the next pit stop. Again Jamie needed her blisters treated and I, fearing that if I stayed at the pit stop too long would be swept to the closing ceremony, walked on alone. I met up with the “Save Second Base” team, which we had become friends with, and walked with them through Deep Elam. We parted ways when I sped up to make the walk into Texas Stadium for closing ceremonies alone. I was sorry Jamie was not with me but I also found it fitting to make this part of the walk solo. I had purposefully trained by myself feeling this was a person challenge and spiritual journey, and I found it calming to use those last few steps as a time to reflect on the miles and months leading up to this moment. I was proud and relieved and impressed, and as I entered the main gate I was met by all the previous walkers who were lined up to welcome my finish! Someone handed me a rose and lots of cheering and pats on the back and high fives and thanks and congrats followed as I walked through a rainbow of welcomes and congratulations for what seemed a football field’s length. I then turned and joined the group to welcome in the few walkers behind me. Still, I did not see Jamie. We had had a plan to meet at the entrance of the holding pen. Yet I stood there after the welcome line dispersed and still I did not see her. And that is when I was ironically invited to lead the pack.

Fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time, it was my elbow a nice woman grabbed when she asked, “Are you ready to line up? Where is your partner?” “I don’t know,” I remarked. “I was supposed to meet her here!” “Well let’s save a place for her then!” Sadly, I never found Jamie. But what I did find was myself in the front row, preparing to walk arm-in-arm into the closing ceremonies. This moment hit me like several before: the moment I first held my daughter; the moment I reached out for that diploma; the moment I said “I do”; the moment I heard my mother’s last breath. As one of eight walkers, leading my fellow 2992 walkers into the arena, I knew I would never forget this wave of love, this accomplishment, this dedication, this sense of purpose and honor. WOW – the picture included is of this moment. Together we walkers walked 180,000 miles – enough miles to travel around the Earth more than 6 times! We raised with these efforts 7.5 million dollars for breast cancer research and education! Thank you making this all possible and for continuing the fight against breast cancer!

SHOW TIME

2009-12-28T12:52:00.006-08:00

--
Well it's that time folks. Time for THE WALK.

I just wanted to take a moment and send a huge thanks to everyone who made our walk possible. We are heading to Dallas today anxious to get out there and start walking. We will carry thoughts of all our loved ones touched by Cancer in our hearts!

I have not blogged recently due to a series of all consuming life events - roof leak led to total bedroom/bathroom remodel led to sleeping in my living room - THEN Jim tore a calf muscle and was put in a BOOT. Could not drive, could not do much at all. All in all, my training for the last two weeks came to a standstill. I head into the walk with the mission to do my personal best -- I hope that best is at least 15 a day But i will be happy with 10 if it comes to that. To be sure that is WAY farther than i could have ever imagined walking this time last year.

I will update my facebook when I can and will post lots of photos when I get back. Think of each of you and those we loved touched by cancer!

Take care and wish us luck!

AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR SUPPORT WHICH MADE THIS POSSIBLE --
Love - Pam/Patricia
by Patricia McDonald on Thu, Nov 05, 2009 @ 9:14 AM CT

Recovery Week for Wonder Woman

2009-12-28T12:52:00.004-08:00

Raised $2430.00

I wish I could report that I am Wonder Woman and that I walked another personal best this past week, but alas, I am no Wonder Woman this week! I am no Bionic Woman either; however I can say my body has been in the shop for repairs so to speak. As any good trainee does, I took my trainer's advice and gave my body a much needed and deserved rest. Dan promised me that by allowing my body time to heal, I would come out stronger in the end, and I faithfully believed him and cancelled my walks on Tues and Thursday of this week. My Saturday and Sunday walks were cut back to 17 miles total as well.

Wednesday night I learned and practiced some cool new stretches, and Saturday morning I was off to Dicks Sporting Goods to buy new shoes, a Hot Pink rain jacket, a very cute running skirt and some other much needed gear. Decked out in my new gear, I walked Charlie the first four miles on Saturday and then finished the last uneventful four on my own. Sunday it rained and I found myself walking the parking garage again, I attempted to walk the full 9 miles in the parking garage and calculated that from top to bottom twice equaled 1 mile I would need to walk up and down it 18 times (this includes ramps on both ends) to make 9 miles. I got about half way done and decided that walking in the rain would be better than feeling like a hamster. About 2 miles away from the garage, I learned my moisture resistant jacket was more pink than waterproof and decided I would rather be a dry hamster.

Last night I did 6 miles in about 2 hours. In sum this week's walks have been super boring, with the exception of the guy who stopped his car, asked my name and if I was married, and then told me I was "very beautiful." Creepy and flattering all at the same time! And I have to give credit to the new walking skirt!!

I truly don't like the cold or the rain and I am about fed up with walking in both. Note: I love the cold and the rain when snuggled inside with a good book and a glass of wine!

Ok on to the Great News, it seems last week's prior rest DID make a huge difference in my walk. My feet did not hurt AT ALL. My lower back however and hip flexors were tweaked at bit, but I think this had to do with walking up 36 ramps in the parking garage last Saturday!

Anyway I am using a credit I have at YogaYoga today for a massage and I am really looking forward to it! This weekend is Jenny's (my Friend and Supporter) going away party. Dan has set another 20 mile weekend before me. Friday, Jim and I are cleaning out our walk-in bedroom closet to prepare to have our bedroom floors redone (due to our leaking roof). What a week I have in store! I need my bionic butt, red boots and golden lasso more than ever!
by Patricia McDonald on Wed, Oct 14, 2009 @ 11:52 AM CT

Ouch...my feet hurt!

2009-12-28T12:52:00.002-08:00

Status:
Miles Walked this past weekend - 24
Miles for the Week - 33
Funds Raised $2395.00

BLOG:

Ouch...my feet hurt!

Well I made a personal best and walked 33 miles this past week. And this is despite a very tender and achy spot in my left heal. I have tried not to complain or whine too much in my blogs, figuring I will save all that for Jim ;-)!! But I can't hold it in any longer. OUCCCHHHH My FEEEEEET Huuuuuuurrrrttt!

I have been told its Plantar Fasciitis, aggravated by my really tight hamstrings and calf muscles. I am stretching, stretching and stretching, and icing, icing, icing to hold it at bay. The good news is it really does not bother me during the walk when everything is warmed up and the endorphins are following. It's just kicks in once I get home and take my shoes off. That is when I hobble around the house, whining and asking for people (Jim, Vikki, Sam) to bring me things. Ice, ibuprofen, the remote, more Ice, a refill on my drink etc. You get the picture! My dear sweet supportive family.

As I realize I only have four more weeks to train, it is becoming apparent (mostly due to the messages my body is sending me) that I am nearing my personal best. I am worrying today my friends that my personal best may not be up to 20 miles a day just yet! Currently it's more around 12 a day right now. As my tender feet and burning legs can attest to! I am hoping I can move that up to 15 a day, in the next 4 weeks.

However as Trainer Dan and I have discussed at length, walking the 3-Day is about showing up to make a difference, raising money to support the cause and drawing awareness. IT IS about personal best and going farther than you ever thought possible. It IS NOT about pushing yourself into injury to the point that you can't walk all three days. I want to be on the route each day, representing the cancer survivors in my life each day. They deserve that! I don't want to miss a day because I over did it trying to make 20 on the first.

I feel I am rambling. Point is I am trying to find that sweet balance where I push myself beyond my perceived limits but not beyond what my body can endure. Hmmm...well I have already come this far....can't wait to see where I will be in 4 weeks. Ten a day or 20 a day, I know I will be at my personal best, and that is good enough for me!

As I get rather bored on these long walks, I have taken to snapping photos of random things that catch my interest. I learned to upload to FB on the spot (fun commentary included). You can check out my walk photos on my FB album: "Training Walk Photos A Walkumentary". I often post pics with the question "Where am I?" I encourage my fellow Austinites to try to guess where I am.

OH - Also please send me the name of the person you would like me to honor on my walk. Their name will go on a banner I plan to wear!

Once again, Thanks for Your Support and WALK ON!
Patricia
by Patricia McDonald on Mon, Oct 05, 2009 @ 10:30 AM CT

The Power of Providence - Goal Met!

2009-12-28T12:52:00.000-08:00

Wow, where do I begin? First Yowzers! Uh huh! Kablam! Yipee! Yehaw! Bam! Pow! You all rock! I met my personal goal of $2300.00, thanks to ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Now let's talk for a moment about providence and a famous quote I just love by Goethe:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

I get chill bumps when I read this and I truly believe if I was leaving this world and could only impart one piece of advice to those I love, it would be what you see above my friends. "Then providence moves too," yes it does. This past Sunday, on the one-year anniversary of the day of my mother's memorial service, I set out for a 10-mile training walk at 7 am.

While I feel I have made huge personal progress on the duration of my walks, I was still rather worried about my progress and my ability to make the 60 miles looming just a short 6 weeks ahead of me. The most I had walked in one week amounted only to a meager 24 miles. How could I ramp it up enough to make 60.

These were the musings in my brain as I wandered into my neighborhood Starbucks for a good shot of morning coffee and a carb filled smoothie before my walk. It is not my usual custom to stop at Starbucks, but I felt compelled; and when I feel compelled to do something anyone who knows me will tell you, I follow my gut. It was also my gut that, as I waited for my coffee, compelled me to make conversation with a cute couple a few decades older than myself lounging in the corner. Seated together and chatting away they appeared to share quite comfortable company. I assumed they were married and admired them for sharing their coffee out in the world, rather than behind the stale familiarly of a kitchen table.

Thus my geared-up ready-for-a-work-out self, had to follow the voice in my head that said I must talk to these people and I interjected something about how I admired their choice to be out and about. Not sure exactly what I said. But we get to talking...and long story short, his name is Dan, her name is Jeannie and no they are not married, just great friends, and get ready, Dan, Jeannie informs me, trains endurance athletes. She also informs me he has done several Iron Man competitions and continues to do Half-Iron Mans. Dan adds that he hosts a free walking clinic at 7am on Sunday's and of course invites me to try it out. I now notice the RunTex logo on his workout clothes, and I am wowed.

This, my friends is when you feel it move in your veins, providence that is; this is not an accident. In this moment, I realize I am exactly where the universe wants me to be. Goethe pops in my head, "....then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred." I try to quote it for my new friends and butcher it, so I change the subject.

"Tell me what you know Dan. I'm an empty camel pack," I command, plopping myself down in the opposite chair.

"How about telling me who you are first?" Dan pokes back.

I am embarrassed at my lack of manners and quickly introduce myself. "Patricia, your friendly-neighborhood scatter brain at your service." Later Dan says to me, "Patricia you are no different from most people when it comes to being a mess, it's just that you freely admit to it." We liked each other instantly, all three of us. And I started my walk a good 2 hours later. I left excited about a date with Dan for the same afternoon to go over paperwork. He was hired, and I was on my way to kicking it in gear.

Sunday we would meet for the first time for training, I would start a food and exercise log, a stretching routine, and would begin reading a bible-sized book of educational materials Dan gave me. The financial investment would require me to cancel my gym membership and devote my weekly allowance to Dan, but I knew it was well worth it!

He would call throughout the week, we would meet a couple times just to visit and check in. We would watch the Biggest Loser and then debate the pluses and minuses of the show over the phone. I would realize I had not just an awesome trainer behind me, but had found a truly wonderful new friend! Then, I get a call from Austin Market Research to do a study and earn a quick 75 bucks which would go obviously to my flimsy training budget...This reminds me also of when my friend Beth, from out of the blue, stepped in, when my fund-raising seemed to be limping along, and ramped my donations up like a wild child.... Again Goethe enters my thoughts: (taking action raises).... in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Additionally, I met my fundraising goal the first day I trained with Dan, allowing me to totally switch gears and focus on the blisters rather than the bucks. Again no accident if you ask me. In short, thank you friends for supporting my journey on the 3-Day! I realize this is also a journey to a new me, well I hope at least a journey toward the younger me who could run town lake, out crunch the best and actually do pull-ups ;-).... I will keep you posted about training.

My team mate Jamie is behind on meeting her fund raising goal so feel free to continue to spread the word about my donation page. Anything I raise over my minimum I can give to her. If she does not meet her goal she won't be able to walk ;-( and thus I will walk alone.....and will share a tent with a stranger...ahhh poor stranger.

Let me close this blog with the hope that my success on this walk be a reminder to all that "Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."
Walk on!
Patricia
by Patricia McDonald on Thu, Oct 01, 2009 @ 11:29 AM CT

My Hot and Sweaty Date with Jillian!

2009-12-28T12:51:00.000-08:00

Did my title get your attention???
Yes I confess, every Tuesday this married almost 40-year old woman has a very hot and sweaty date and it's not with my husband. "What?" you ask, and "Poor Jim" you whisper.

Yep, that's right The Biggest Loser, and my favorite trainer, Jillian are back on NBC on Tuesday's nights--and what better place to watch my beloveds than the same gym that sponsors the show - 24 Hour Fitness.

If you have not seen it, two awesome trainers, (one of them being Jillian) take a dozen or so obese people and whip them into shape, educate them about food, and work with them on the life habits that have sabotaged their weight goals their entire life. Most importantly the show addresses the emotions and "scripts" we use to set imaginary limits, provide excuses and prevent ourselves from moving out of our comfort zone.

We all have this comfort zone and we all have a personal script we play. It is the audio loop in our heads about why we are the way we are, and why we can't, won't, or could never be able to change or achieve various things in our lives. This show reminds me that 90% of that redundant audio loop is NOTHING but good old-fashioned BS.

And this is why the show is such a motivator to me. This and the HUGE fact, no pun intended, that I grew up with a severely obese, 600 pound, father. I understand personally how obesity affects the lives of the people on this show - they don't just want to be thin, they want to stay alive for their families, they want to find the key to unlock the door of the physical prison they inhabit - one that follows them wherever they go and limits and alters their experiences as human beings.

I also know that it's not as simple as just stopping eating and starting exercise. That is a big part. But it's about recognizing that until they change their mental script and physical behaviors, they themselves continue to reinforce the walls that confine them. They must recognize the personal and spiritual pain these walls are made of and it's heavy and deep work.

Thus the trainers and the competitors are my heroes and huge motivators for me. Shot in a 24 Hour Fitness gym, the show is a bit surreal to watch. My idol, Jillian the passionate, at times, bitchy trainer struts around the machines barking orders and it's easy to imagine her here in the gym with me.

As my feet race under the pace of the spinning belt, Jillian shouts "How bad do you want this?" and "Take your "bleep"ing hands off the "bleep"ing treadmill! Have you ever seen this "bleep"ing show." I jump and quickly bring my hands back to my waist, as though she can see me. It seems totally possible that Jillian knows she is speaking to every person on every treadmill in every 24 Fitness in the US. Fearing her scorn, I set the machine to run the max incline on a tight interval schedule (cause I know that's what Jillian would tell me to do) and speed up my pace.

I push myself --- certain she will pop up in front of me any minute, shove her face into mine and drill into my soul,"How bad do you want this?"

******************************

That was Tuesday. I missed Thursday's walk as it was Sam's birthday dinner and this Saturday I did a 5-miler in the am and an 8-miler (from Pflugerville to 620 and I35) that afternoon - for a total that day of 13 miles. I was supposed to follow with a 10- mile Sunday walk, but chores consumed me. I was on my feet and moving the entire day, and I swear the 10 miles I was missing seemed easier by comparison. By the end of the day I felt extremely exhausted.

I woke up at 3 am on Monday faint, with a head ache, sweating, nauseated, cold and achy -- I thought I was getting the flu, - but Jim believed it to be dehydration and exhaustion. I took Monday off and did nothing but drink fluids and eat and sleep. I am feeling a bit better today, but I am still not convinced I am not fighting the flu.

Thanks again for everyone's support and for taking time to read the blog. I am just $500 or so shy from my goal - so please help me spread the word.

So far your contributions have amounted to $1825, you have brought me to 79% of my goal. My total walked miles for last week = 20. This week I hope to do better ;-)

It's Tuesday night again - you know where I will be - I have a date with Jillian at 24 Hour Fitness.

Walk On - Patricia

Please share my blog and donation page with anyone you know who might support our cause.They Can Donate Here!
by Patricia McDonald on Tue, Sep 22, 2009 @ 9:23 AM CT

Training in the Rain and the Joys of Town Lake

2009-12-28T12:50:00.001-08:00

Ah the Rain - Thursday was a test of wills. My boss David's Birthday Happy Hour would start at 6, I forgot my training shorts, and it was raining. What to do what to do? Ah head to a bar and start drinking early. Sip a cold one and watch the long awaited rain pour from the heavens.....hmm NO!! Instead I got determined, headed down to the thrift store, bought some 2 dollar exercise shorts and changed in the store.

I realized getting in 5 miles would mean getting to happy hour about 30 minutes late, provided traffic was not crazy getting to the gym (which it would be due to the rain), or the gym was not packed (which it would be due to the rain)....Hmm what to do? Ah the small gym right behind where I work would be open and the free pass I had would get me in. Presto. Sure enough there was practically no one in the gym, however the one person in the gym was running on the one treadmill in the gym! It seemed the rain and the training gods had teamed up to make sure I got my drink on early this day....BUT NO!

Standing in the rain on South Congress, the obvious solution--the one I had been avoiding all along--well it would not let me take off to Shangrila (the name of the bar where we were meeting) so easily. Hello? It's called Town Lake, it's like 2 blocks from here, it has 10 miles of walking trails, it's wet but it's waiting! So I was off! I got my 5 miles in and rediscovered my love of walking town lake.

I enjoyed it so much I returned on Sunday and put in 8.5 miles on the trail. I could have done the full 10 but the 1.5 miles that wind down Riverside and over I35 scares me a bit. It's mainly the Gandalf lookiing bum that lives in the bushes over there and um.. his imaginary friends. Ah, but the rest of the trail, how enjoyable: The young lovers, the little kids on the Zilker train, the rambunctious dogs in the water, the hot bods and their flexing muscles as they zip by, the determined rowers, the little birds and squirrels scampering about, oh and the 6O-plus-year old man out on his afternoon bike ride wearing nothing but a little black leather loin sack .....ah yes this is what makes walking Town Lake such a joy! I will be doing many more miles round about the lake in weeks to come.

PLEASE ENCOURAGE YOUR FRIENDS TO DONATE!!
by Patricia McDonald on Mon, Sep 14, 2009 @ 9:56 AM CT

Labor Day Progress & Other Fun Bits

2009-12-28T12:49:00.003-08:00

As you may recall from my last post, I set aside Labor Day weekend to challenge myself to do half the walk. That would be a full 30 miles in 3 Days!

Well, I made 20 of it. By the time Monday rolled around I could tell my hips and feet needed a rest. So I am a bit less than half-way prepared. But I do have faith that in the next 9 weeks I will be see the progress I need.

I realized that when I started this training back in mid May - I was surprised that I could walk 3 miles in one session. And when I did walk those miles - WOW I was sore and my legs just ached for several days.

Now I am here saying, 'Oh I walked 20 miles this weekend and did not even get a blister.' Wow.

Driving to work last week I heard Madonna was doing some 100 mile Iron Man type challenge in the desert - and she is 50. I think our bodies are much more capable than we give them credit for in general.

Back to this weekend. So I spent 4.5 hours Sunday on the treadmill at the gym walking and watching Trauma Life in the ER (4 of them). Thank god I LOVE that show as the time seemed to have gone by pretty fast.

I burned 800 calories and did stop to refuel mid way through - but still by the time I got home I was ravenous and going into a hypoglycemic crazy woman state of temporary insanity. J

Jim drove me around for 30 minutes looking for an open Mexican restaurant that served chicken tortilla soup, while I preached about how backward Pflugerville is how this "Would not be happening if we lived 'in town'". Eventually we found a place on 35.

OH and last night at the gym (doing my 5 mile walk) I spent an hour watching a show about a woman who was pregnant with quintuplets and right when they started doing the c-section - some lady behind me started squawking about how "Sick and gross" that was and made the Trainer change the channel to America's Got Talent. Oh come on - it a birth, its a miracle! And you can always watch one of the other 20 screens in front of you..Some people!
Anyway, when I was not walking I was busy sending out fund raising emails. I sent a request to everyone on my face book list and everyone on Jim's - which was pretty hard as FB only lets you copy 20 people at a time and I emailed about 400 people. So far those efforts have produced three new generous donations, which I appreciate very very much. I am hoping though that more of those I contacted have just not read their email yet, or are just lazy and plan to donate soon. I also hope they are not getting sick and tired of my emails!
For me physical fund raising is quite difficult. Between working and family duties and working out - I sure wonder how these mega fund raising walkers are doing it.
The plan to set up a treadmill in a public space and walk while raising money is looking like my best bet. But where to set it up? Anyone have any juicy ideas for me?
Only 48% of my goal of 2300 to go!
by Patricia McDonald on Wed, Sep 09, 2009 @ 8:48 AM CT

BRAINWAVES FROM YESTERDAY'S TRAINING WALK

2009-12-28T12:49:00.001-08:00

While walking and walking and walking I spent a good amount of time searching for something to blog about. Finally I realized I should provide my supporters a simple glimpse into the mind of a walker facing nothing but 10 miles of pavement and the next 3 hours of nothing but random brain waves:

Are these Texas Flag red white and blue running shorts really as DORKY as Jim says they are?
Is this shoe too loose?
Is it going to rain?
Do I really need to finish this coffee?
Will this red light ever change?
How long is my cell phone going to let me listen to Pandora before it dies?
How does Pandora know what I like?
Do people realize how truly dangerous crossing highways are?
Is my lace untied?
Did that guy really honk at me while I was bending over to tie my shoe?
Was he honking at my ass up in the air or cause I am wearing dorky shorts?
Note to self, learn to bend at the knees.
Note to self don't engage scary men smoking cigarettes and chopping down trees, just because you thought it would be witty to tell him he could carve the tree stump into a garden elf?
Why did I choose to walk through the economically challenged part of PVILLE today?
What time is it?
What does my pedometer say?
Why did those two men suddenly pull over in front of me and back up and park?
Do they see me acting like I am calling the cops? Why don't I carry MACE on these walks!
Will the men who drove off just now come back around for me down the block?
Am I overly paranoid?
How far have I walked now?
Do I already have blisters?
What does my pedometer say?
Is that pissed off Chihuahua going to bite me?
If it tries, will I kick it?
Is that lady going to let it chase me all the way down the block?
Why don't I carry MACE on these walks!
Is that the Ethiopian restaurant Tracy and Michael want to eat at?
Are there snakes down there in that creek?
How can my cell phone be already dead?
How can I walk 7 more miles without music?
Do I have to pee so bad that I am going to use that abandoned port a potty up there on the left?
Is it really necessary to lock the porta potty door while I am in here?
Did I pee on my leg?
Why is that old man sledge hammering the door of a church?
Why did I just offer the old man my husband's services to sledge hammer the door of the church?
Why did I think this guy was an old man, he's like 40 something? Why did I take back my offer and explain to him that i thought he was an old man in need of help?
When will I learn to stop talking to random people on these walks?
Do I already have blisters?
What time is it?
What does my pedometer say?
Seriously, Is this thing broke?
Why did I not know about this trail, or this creek, or this park?
Is there a snake in that creek?
Where are all the snakes?
Why did the massive cheering from the nearby soccer field turn to a collective OHHHHHH!!
Do those sirens have any connection to the collective OHHHH???
What time is it?
What does my pedometer say?
Is thing broke?
Do I already have blisters?
What time is it?
What does my pedometer say?
Seriously, Is this thing broke?
Do I already have blisters?
What time is it?
What does my pedometer say?
Seriously, Is this thing broke?
Do I already have blisters?
What time is it?
What does my pedometer say?
Seriously, Is this thing broke?
by Patricia McDonald on Sun, Sep 06, 2009 @ 11:53 AM CT

DONATIONS

2009-12-28T12:48:00.002-08:00

GEARING UP FOR SEPTEMBER
Wow I can't believe it has really been a month since my last blog post. I was trying not to overdo it and under did it. I also blame it on Walkers Block... There just does not always seems to be something new and interesting on my walks to expound on...But supporters do need an update on my progress, and yesterday I did get an idea of something to write about, so with no further adieu. Here goes...

PROGRESS UPDATE
I have 9 weeks, yes 9 weeks to be ready for the walk. To finish raising donations and get my legs and body in optimal condition for the three day 60 mile walk. And where am I now? Well having recovered from stepping on some glass with my bare foot (which hijacked my walking for about 2 weeks), I estimate I am a little less than half way ready for this walk. Which is I admit a bit behind where I should be.

I have done well to get my short weekly 5 and 6 mile walks in, but I have not done so well in the past three weeks on weekend walks. These ARE the crucial ones and I cannot skip anymore! What I also realize is that to meet the demands of these weekend walks I must also forgo weekend wine and weekend nights out on the town till 2 am.. Duhh...

This labor day weekend I am trying to do half the walk to gauge my readiness. In doing so, I will be attempting to walk 10 miles three days in a row. Yesterday would have been the third time I have walked a full 10 miles in one day during training. I have done numerous 6 and 7 milers, so I truly think I am ready to push it up a notch. Yet, Yesterday I began the mission by walking only 7. I started at 10am (Too late) and ended at 1 PM (too hot). I did walk for three straight hours, but I also ran out of water and energy food and decided to call Jim. This means today and tomorrow I owe an extra 1.5 miles to make up for the 3 miles I did not complete. My plan today is to find a very shady very long trail and start walking at 6 PM. I think town lake is the best bet as there are plenty of places to refuel along the way!

Donation wise, well...., it it quite a challenge to find time to both raise money and get the walking miles in... I actually had an idea that I could buy a cheap treadmill, get Jim to power it with a car battery and put it out on the corner down town somewhere and make a complete spectacle of myself. Maybe at a tailgate party or some other major Austin outdoorsy event, maybe near a hospital, or church. Hmmmm..... need to get that in Gear too!

Anyway, although I am halfway to my goal, I still need to raise about 1500 dollars. AND THE BIG ISSUE, is that by mid October what I have NOT raised I HAVE TO WRITE A CHECK FOR... or drop out of the walk. OUCH....so PLEASE PLEASE if you have been meaning to contribute and have not yet done so PLEASE do now... and please recruit your friends, family, businesses to join my cause..! Thanks!
by Patricia McDonald on Sun, Sep 06, 2009 @ 11:51 AM CT

Long Over Due - Both My Blog Post and My Trip to Our Kentucky Family Reunion

2009-12-28T12:48:00.000-08:00

Some may have noticed that my blog has not been updated since July 14. Yikes! The good news is just because I have not written DOES NOT mean I have stopped my training walks. Vikki and I left Friday the 21st at 7 am for our trip to Kentucky. And so I do admit that I have not walked in a week. The good news however, is that I was a week ahead of schedule when we left so I am still on track. On track that is once i put in 10 miles today!

Truly long overdue was this trip to the McIntyre family reunion. I had been to Kentucky only once in 1975. I was five years old when my mother and I boarded a train to Ohio and from there drove down with one of her cousins to Kentucky for the McIntyre family reunion. It seemed only fitting that when I returned some 34 years later, I brought my own daughter.

We had a wonderful time which I plan to write a short stoy on in the days to come. Suffice to say for now. It was a remarkable and unforgettable journey.

Since our return however I have felt rather melancholy. It is a sense of finding something you never knew you lost and then wondering how you could have ever lived without it. I am saddened by the years Vikki and I missed bonding with my mother's Uncles and Aunts and multitude of cousins. I am overjoyed to have found them but grieve for those who passed away before I came back to Kentucky.

I hope they did not pass thinking we did not care or worrying what had befallen my grandfather's only daughter? I wonder why my mother did not make it more of a priority to keep going back. I think of a number of reasons, they all seem trite and ridiculous. And I sum it up to a mixture of not enough time or money, too much illness (her own, my father's, my grand mother's) and the avoidance of the great sorrow I am sure the hills of home kindled within her for the loss of her sister and parents and childhood.

As stirring as the country air, as breath taking the mountain views, as delicious the food and endearing the conversation, I felt it too. I feel a sadness for the day's gone by, family who have passed, memories lost as years turn to decades, as decades turn with generations, as generations watch grandchildren become grandparents.

I am comforted by my belief that those passed are the ones who conspired with my mother in those smokey mountain clouds to bring us back home; that they reached down and orchestrated this incredible reunion, exactly when Victoria and I needed it most. At time when we searched for a renewed sense of kinship after my mother passed and left a missing piece in the familial triangle of love that was just the three of us: mother, daughter, grandmother.

Victoria commented how remarkable it was that we immediately felt the bonds of kinship with our lost relatives. That it felt natural and immediate and familiar. I agreed and tried to explain how families pass down with each generation long-held attitudes and beliefs, customs, philosophies and moral codes that live beyond any one person: Ways of speech, sayings, habits, mannerisms, how we show love, what we value, how we measure happiness, what we find precious and endearing, what we embrace and discard.

I believe it was my second cousin Mike who just moments after meeting me at the family house stated adamantly, "She reminds me so much of Jackie!" I immediately thought of the fact that I was adopted, and then I realized he was not referring to my features, but to my expressions, my hand gestures, the way I walked, conversed, laughed--all things my mother taught me and which her mother taught her and so on. I never felt more a part of a family than in that moment.

And I brought this home with me to Texas where I feel more like a McIntyre than ever and homesick for Kentucky like never before.

When i was in Kentucky I met Mott (Martha) my moth's cousin and my great Uncle Bascom's daughter. As I sat in my bosses office after I returned from the trip, I described Mott in great detail. "She is at least 65, I assume and her father's primary caregiver. She appears to have assumed the role of matriarch. Everyone's answer to most questions about McIntyre family history is 'Go ASK MOTT!' or "Mott will be the one to know!' She never seems to sit down, cooks three meals a day, loves her family so much and has the most amazing attitude and disposition." I explain how, based on my limited knowledge of family history, that it appears that most of Mott's life has been dedicated to taking care of her family. "I just adored her!" I added. My boss smiles and asks, "Does she remind you of anyone?"

I could have spent the whole vacation just with Mott. On my next trip I would like to spend a week or maybe two there at the family house. Picking Mott's brain, learning about the rich family history and just soaking her in.

When we left she gave me the Coca Cola bottle opener my grandfather Homer had brought home and placed in the family kitchen back in the 30's I believe. It was a piece of the family and the history and the house and I was moved beyond words.

To top it all off I learned Mott is also a breast cancer survivor. Yet another beloved family member to keep in mind as I put one foot in front of the other on this remarkable journey. I wanted to walk while in Kentucky, but after hearing stories of bears going in houses, listening to Coyotes off in the distance and seeing Foxes in the yard - I opted to take a nap.

I woke up this morning with the country song Red Dirt Road by Brooks & Dunn singing in my head and I heard these words "that summer I turned a corner in my soul, down that red dirt road." Although it's paved now, this is truly something I can say about my return to the McIntyre Home Place.

Today, I hit the flat hot 100 degree Texas sidewalk with memories of the Kentucky hills truly turning in my soul and under my feet.
by Patricia McDonald on Sat, Aug 01, 2009 @ 12:52 PM CT

A Moment to Remember Them - WHY I WALK!!

2009-12-28T12:47:00.001-08:00

Today's blog is somewhat serious, as I want to take a moment and explore how breast cancer and other forms of cancer has touched my life and those of my friends, family and coworkers.

I think you can just about stop and ask anyone on the street how has your life been touched by cancer and they would have a story.

My story goes like this. The first time I ever heard of anyone remotely connected to me having cancer was when my close friend in college told me how she had lost her best friend to leukemia. Next was when my cousin Linda talked about a cousin of ours on the Hernandez family side having breast cancer. Thereafter, I learned my daughter's grandmother Deanie Broughton, on her father's side, had had a breast removed and won her battle with breast cancer.

Still cancer seemed very removed from from my life. Then about two years ago it seemed that cancer of all sorts was hitting awfully close to home.

It began a couple years ago when a close co-worker of mine shared with me that her mother was battling breast cancer. Then in the same week it seems, another of my close work friends shared that she was nursing her boyfriend's mother, Sue (a breast cancer survivor) as she passed of stomach cancer. During the same time this friend shared with me that her best friend's mother had a few years before also had breast cancer and later died of lung cancer. Today this same friend has two aunts with breast cancer and an uncle with prostate cancer.

And of course it was this Spring that we learned of my mother-in-law Joan's breast cancer.

Additionally when I started funding for this walk, I also learned my boss's mother died of the disease and several of my mother's cousins also battled it. And that my step son's grandma on his mom's side, Melva, also survived breast cancer. Melva is Jamie's mom. Jamie is my co-captain team mate. And the stories seem to keep coming in.

As if all this were not enough to take in, there were other forms of cancer that struck both at work and at home. Another co-worker's father-in-law passed quickly of stomach cancer, and my father-in-law Ken was diagnosed with Melanoma. Sadly just two years prior to Ken's diagnosis, he lost two brothers, one to lung cancer and one to brain cancer.

Suddenly cancer seemed to have surrounded me. I am adopted and have no idea what diseases run in my blood - therefore I am on the lookout for any little sign of any big genetically passed down disease, for both my sake and that of my daughter's.

It got the point I almost became paranoid for those around me and myself. In one month I think I had my pap smear, my mammogram, saw my dermatologist, had a lung x-ray and had Jim get his prostate checked and had him see the dermatologist. Oh I also quit smoking.

My paranoia got so bad that while we were buying a car I actually interrupted the salesman and asked him if he had had the spot on his nose checked by a doctor; I did the same to our next door neighbor. I also have a bottle of sunscreen in my gym bag, in each car, one with make up and one at my desk at work. I only buy organic now as well!

It was pretty obvious, I had A LOT of untapped ENERGY and ANXIETY about cancer and I needed a POSITIVE LESS PARANOID outlet - so I joined the Komen 3-Day!

Now, wow what a difference a cause makes! I am still the queen of SPF 90, I still shove raw green veggies at those I love, I still do self exams in the shower, but now it comes from a much more empowered place. I am no longer running from the threat of cancer , I am walking to eradicate it - that makes a world of difference!
by Patricia McDonald on Tue, Jul 14, 2009 @ 1:02 PM CT

Even Charlie Dog Deserves a Lifetime!

2009-12-28T12:46:00.003-08:00

Well Jim's toe is still healing and last night he stepped on a roofing staple with the same foot - so who knows if he will ever be able to walk with me again. Thus Charlie Dog is my new walking companion.

Wow! I can pretty much bet Charlie and I walked more last week than we have ever walked in a week in our lifetimes! I put in a whole 25 miles last week! And Charlie Dog put in 8!

For those of you who have not met Charlie - he is a sweet little black cross between wiener dog and miniature pincher AND he is special as he has only three working legs. So, as we venture out I am a little worried about how he will keep up on a long walk.

Sweet boy he leads the way for almost the whole walk. About half way in he gets tired and starts walking beside me. I can't help but think how loyal dogs are and how if little three-legged Charlie can walk these miles - then I darn can as well! He pants and smiles up at me and I hear his scooby doo voice say "rats right we can rake it!"

I stop and teach him how to drink out of the spout of my walking bag - you know the kind with the tube. He catches on quickly and loves it. I always put ice cubes in the bag too so it's really nice and cold.

Along the way, there is one yard that really touches us. The landscaping is just beautiful and the owners have put two nice outdoor couches on a stone patio they had raised under several large shade trees. There are many beautiful plants and I stand there and envy their creativity and vision and financial ability to obviously hire an awesome landscaper to create it all.

Then I notice a large engraved stone placed prominently in the garden. I expect it to read "God Bless Our Home" or some other generic garden rock saying, but it does not. It reads a little girl's name with the years 99 - 2006 "Our little ray of sunshine. You are loved and missed."

Gulp -- she was just what 7 years old? The breast cancer slogan, "Everyone deserves a lifetime" comes immediately to mind. I think of my "ray of sunshine baby girl" almost 20 years old now and I shudder at the thought of losing her at 7 or any age for that matter.

A huge sense of pride for my walk rushes my veins and an overflow of confidence tells me I will finish that 60th mile - I make a note to think about this little girl when I cross that finish line.

I look down at Charlie and remember the day Victoria - at 16 - brought him home from the Lampassas County "doggy death chamber." I knew he would end up MY dog and I didn't want him, yet exasperatedly I gave in to another of my sweet teenager's whims.

Charlie and I resume our walk, me feeling so thankful for Victoria and all our wonderful memories and the things she had a chance to talk me into; Charlie so thankful for soft-hearted teenagers who cruise the pound, and are brave enough to come home and face their parents with a bundle of unwanted yet awesomely wiggly cuteness!

Yes even pound puppies deserve a lifetime!

Back on Track!

2009-12-28T12:46:00.001-08:00

I walked 6.69 miles yesterday and 8.69 miles if you count the two I clocked on my pedometer just walking around at work. Spent two hours at the gym on the treadmill and then met a young woman named Chrissie on the Abdominal mat. I had seen her on the Roman Chair and decided I hated her because she was too young and too beautiful and in way too awesome shape. Then she came over and started doing perfect crunches next to me, making my lame crunch attempts look more like a bad case of stomach cramps. Then I decided I despised her.

Secretly I watched her in my peripheral vision trying to pick up on what the #!&&!! I was doing wrong with my reverse crunches, and that is when I saw a small pink ribbon tattooed on her perfectly slender ankle. Damn, I thought, now i have to like her.

I sat up and interrupted her mid crunch, "I like your tattoo, is that a breast cancer ribbon?" She said it was, and she told me about how her grandmother, who she had never known, had died from the disease. I showed her my 3-Day pin which I wear wherever I go, and before you know it we were making plans for her to join the walk and maybe even Team McDonald. I learned she also works at 24 hr fitness, the good one near the Arboretum, and she knows a trainer friend of mine, who, she reminded me, could help with the tight tendons in my left foot and leg.

Oh also two days in a row now, I have seen a strange man who very slowly works out on the elliptical and rolls his running shorts up under the inner underwear part until he looks like he is a wearing a sumo diaper. He likes to pick the machine next to mirror and watch his tush a lot and tuck the loose nylon of the shorts back up as it tries to keep creeping out...creepily like him.

Yay! It's Friday and the training guide says 30 min of yoga today and I am done! Tomorrow another 6 miles ;-)

Also please share my blog and donation page with anyone you know who might support our cause. They Can Donate Here!
Thanks!

WOW - What a start!

2009-12-28T12:45:00.001-08:00

Well,
Thank you very much! The donations are beginning to roll in and its very inspiring!
I am ashamed to say that last night I did not complete my training program. It was how do you say a series of unfortunate events. First I found a family locked inside our community tennis court, the wife was outside and hubby and kids were locked in. I wondered if it was really an accident. Jim had to pry them out with a crow bar. They were not exactly in good enough shape to climb the fence.

Anyway it was getting pretty late and started off on the walk and what had been a dull pain in my thighs all day turned into shooting pains rather quickly - I decided (per my training book) that when it hurts to lay off to avoid injury. Technically per my training program (given in the walk guide) last night was supposed to be 15 min of cross training only) so I think my body was trying to tell me to go by the book!

I will be off to buy a second pair of walking shoes tomorrow as well. Yesterday I bought tickets for Victoria and I to go to Kentucky for the McIntyre Family reunion. I plan on staying on my walking schedule the best I can and I am very excited by the thought of doing a 5 mile walk up and down a long country early in the morning listening to the sounds of the country. I may never leave!

Cheers,
Patricia (Pam)

Fundraising Fun

2009-12-28T12:44:00.003-08:00

Well today I am blasting my fellow Demanders to ask for support. Excited to see the response. They are a great group of people.

Monday night, I took my dog Charlie with me for my walk and we had a blast. He only has three working legs and I was worried he would not be able to keep up but he did smiling and panting all the way! He supports breast cancer too!! I think he needs a pink bandanna next time!!

Tuesday night I went to the gym and put an hour on the elliptical, did a one-hour weight lifting class and did another mile and a half on the treadmill. It's been so hot here in Texas about 104 in the shade!

Tonight 4 mile from 5-6 and then Hatha Flow Yoga - Cant wait!

Getting it in Gear!

2009-12-28T12:44:00.001-08:00

Getting it in Gear!
Well I can't begin to explain how excited I am to be doing this. I have been training for about two weeks now and put about 15 miles under my feet last week alone.

Jamie is training too, however Jamie is much taller than I am and in much better shape. She is already up to 5 miles a day and seven on the weekends. I am at 3 miles a day and 5 on the weekends. As her legs are much longer her pace is faster and I find it quite a challenge to keep up with her ;-)

Jim was walking with me, but he broke his toe on the first night of Taekwondo class and has been unable to come along for the last week.

After last week I developed a pain in my left leg/hip so I took it easy over the holiday weekend.

Today I resume with a moderately-paced 5 miler!

Wish me luck and thanks to all who contributed so far!

XOXO - Patricia