WallStreetJackass

not bad

wallstreetjackass — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 06:56:32 -0400

even if you don't like video games... this is sick...

wallstreetjackass — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 18:41:47 -0400

a legitimate question

wallstreetjackass — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 17:41:43 -0400

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

Riddle

wallstreetjackass — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 17:40:53 -0400

Here's the Riddle:

At the exact same time, there are two 35-year-old men on opposite sides of the earth.

One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers at the 85th floor.

The other is getting oral sex from a 75-year-old toothless woman.

They are both thinking the exact same thing.

What are they both thinking?

. . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . .

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. . . . . .

. . . . .

. . . .

. . .

. .

DON’T LOOK DOWN.

going to be a bear today

wallstreetjackass — Thu, 09 May 2013 07:24:57 -0400

been busy lately, but this is not to be missed

wallstreetjackass — Wed, 08 May 2013 07:25:45 -0400

...

wallstreetjackass — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 14:42:44 -0400

The Marriage Zone.

wallstreetjackass — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 16:47:17 -0400

Most men – average men – can only begin enjoying life at age 29 the way women do at age 19 because it takes them that long to gain the resources women find attractive. The point in life where men’s and women’s access intersect is the marriage zone. She has to get him to commit in that zone before he realizes that his life is really just starting. My recommendation: she’s enjoyed her “wild and free” days, so avoid marriage and go enjoy yours. Travel. Sex up a variety of women. Explore your hobby now that you have both the time and resources to do so. In short, live life with the access of a carefree 19 year old party girl.

Ages 15 to 19: The chart starts at age 15. Here women are at an access level of 8, which means they can pretty much do whatever they want whenever they want. By the time she’s 19 and has a fake ID, she soars up to a 10 which means the world is her oyster. Your average man in this same category is lucky if he gets a blowjob from the ugly chick in 2nd period, and feels truly fortunate if he can keep a steady girlfriend and get laid on a semi regular basis.

Ages 20 to 25: Women are at their peak during most of this time, and even though their access starts to decline, it declines only because they themselves are being more selective while staging for marriage. Men during this time are steadily learning how to deal with women and are increasing their earning potential, so things are getting slowly better. Still, they haven’t reached the level of access that their female counterparts have enjoyed since age 15.

Age 26 to 28: This is the start of the marriage zone. Women’s clocks are ticking, and men have finally turned a job into a career. Though women’s access is still at a very high 8, she notices the men around her have more choices. They’ve reached an access level of 7 and are steadily rising. Though she gets roughly the same amount of attention from men that she used to, she notices the men are far less likely to catch oneitis in her presence. Men are getting smarter and they have more options because of their increased access. She has to get him to commit as soon as possible before he realizes just how numerous his options really
are.

Age 29 to 30: This is a superb time for men to be alive. The tables have now turned. She’s finally learned that while finding dick takes very little effort, finding *committed* dick isn’t as easy as she was told it would be. Even though she screwed up in the marriage zone and wasn’t able to secure a partner, she’s going to stay on the prowl and be “in it to win it”.

Age 31 and up: As her sexual and marriage market value slowly decreases, so does her access to committed dick. Meanwhile, the men who were smart enough to avoid her in the marriage zone have a long and happy life ahead of them. Even at age 40 – if they are successful and have stayed in shape – these men can find a 28 year old woman to bear their children if they want. The men have nothing to lose. The women continue to slowly decline until they settle for a beta or convince themselves that being a career woman in Cougarville was really what they wanted all along.

After men avoid the marriage zone, their access soars. They can enjoy a series of fulfilling monogamous relationships with women who are on their best behavior since they’re desperately trying to get married, and fill in the time in between these relationships by banging easy targets such as single mothers, divorcees, and rabid feminists who are second guessing their decisions.

So gentlemen, stay in shape. Focus on your career, build a stable financial portfolio, and keep your access soaring. If you absolutely must have a child, do it in your late 30’s or early 40’s with a hot little number in her 20’s. It can happen. If you’re like me and children aren’t in your future, the possibilities are endless.

and now for your Sunday afternoon moment of Zen

wallstreetjackass — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 17:02:08 -0400

not new, but pretty funny

wallstreetjackass — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 14:56:23 -0400

jokes

wallstreetjackass — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 07:48:45 -0400

more jokes than you can shake a stick at

likely a best seller

wallstreetjackass — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 07:47:49 -0400

a romantic view

wallstreetjackass — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 15:51:18 -0400

Ukraine's Got Talent

wallstreetjackass — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 17:43:58 -0400

Cyprus ATM

wallstreetjackass — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 12:53:40 -0400

solid!

wallstreetjackass — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 12:52:31 -0400

Google Street View in action

wine is just awesome water

wallstreetjackass — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 18:18:20 -0400

random

wallstreetjackass — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 16:02:31 -0500

link

Happy Mental Health Day

wallstreetjackass — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 10:41:10 -0500

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness”.

"The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, “He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry”.

"How soon can I go home?"

pretty much classic

wallstreetjackass — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 10:40:28 -0500

funny, funny